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by Annie


By Annie

Rated: NC-17
Summary: Lex has issues after the events of Insurgence Spoilers: Insurgence
Disclaimer: Not mine; if they were, they'd have a little less ritual and a lot more fun around here. Feedback:

The waves of discontent coming off Lex in the otherwise cheerful atmosphere of the helicopter didn't register with Clark at first. He was too relieved to have his Mom back safe and sound, too glad his parents had put aside their earlier disagreement as unimportant. It was several minutes into the return trip to Smallville when Clark realized Lex hadn't spoken a single word since telling the pilot to take off, told him they wouldn't be waiting for Lionel. Lex was just sitting there, deeply in thought, as alone as if the Kents hadn't even been there. A small, nagging thing took up residence in Clark's stomach and coiled there, grew in intensity until it was big enough for him to name. Guilt.

He remembered with abrupt regret the first minutes after his Mom and Lionel had emerged from the LuthorCorp building unharmed. There was nothing else in the world existing for Clark at that moment except her, his Dad, their safe, whole family. Realized belatedly that Lionel and Lex were having harsh words, that they had all simply turned their backs on Lex to find a taxi and head back to the helicopter. Taking it for granted that Lex, ignored or not, would feel obliged to give them a ride home. Would never stoop so low as to abandon them there.

Yes, definitely, that was Guilt eating away at his insides, making him picture over and over the sight of Lex standing alone in front of the empty building, while everyone else just walked away, also taking for granted that he would just follow along, like a faithful dog or something. Clark felt like a bad friend.

Lex moved his head, their eyes meeting, and Clark tried on one of his biggest smiles, dismayed at the amount of hurt concealed behind his friend's cool gaze.

"Glad that's over, huh, Lex?" Clark remarked companionably, trying to start a conversation, gauge Lex's mood.

Lex turned his gaze back to the window. "Nothing bad is ever over, Clark. Your brain just records it in a catalogue of bad memories. That way you can always be reminded of your shortcomings and mistakes at mostly very inconvenient times."

Clark opened his mouth to reply, and couldn't think of a single word to say. "Whatever you say, Lex," he mumbled, turning his own head away, silent for the rest of the flight back to Smallville, the coil of Guilt inside winding itself tighter and tighter.

Hours later, back at home, grateful hugs having been dispensed all around, Clark grabbed the cordless phone and went into his bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him, muffling the loving murmur of his parents talking in the kitchen. He dialed Lex's cell phone, actually had to do it four times before Lex finally answered.

Lex looked bleakly at the cell phone on his desk, and when the Caller ID flashed the number, he took another deep drink of the golden brandy in the glass he held so tightly. Clark, of course. He had been dreading it. Knew it was coming, especially after Clark's aborted attempt to smooth over Lex's silence in the helicopter. Lex hadn't known what to say or do at that point. Bad enough his Dad knew what had happened that day, in the LuthorCorp building. Stupid, desperate Lex, giving away the location of the secret elevator that only a small handful of people knew about. Lionel, referring to the coward on the other end of the phone, making him feel inadequate. Always making him feel inadequate.

Lex would have to do something about this. Thought the feeling picking at his insides was probably anger and resentment. He was so tired of always being found short by his own father. Martha Kent's face swirled into his mind and he abruptly crushed the image, his heart fluttering slightly at the thought that she might have been killed. The resentment was dueling with guilt, and Lex didn't want to admit guilt outside of his own head. Lionel might have guessed Lex's part in today's catastrophe, but hopefully he hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. No, Lex thought, he won't mention it. He'll just store it away as ammunition to use at one of those very inconvenient times Lex had mentioned to Clark. When the phone rang the fourth time, Lex sighed, took another drink, and picked it up to answer it, rising and pacing; too hard to take these kinds of calls sitting down.

"Clark." Flat, resigned voice on the other end, and Clark wondered hurtfully if Lex had deliberately ignored the first three calls, knew he had Caller ID on all his phones.

"Lex, hi," Clark ventured. "I just called to thank you...."

Lex laughed humorlessly. "You called to thank me. How very.....ironic."

Clark frowned. "Lex? I know you were trying to help back there in Metropolis. And you gave Dad a ride in the copter even know. We're grateful. All of us."

"This begs a question, Clark," Lex began, and Clark could just tell Lex was pacing around and around his desk, could hear the clink of ice in crystal. "I didn't give you a ride to Metropolis in the helicopter. But, you were there. Before us. Is there anything you'd like to be telling me, Clark? Make my day even more perfect than it has already been."

The sarcasm was screaming at Clark through the phone, and he froze, mind reeling. He'd thought Lex would have been too upset at the events at the LuthorCorp building to even think to ask. Clark had been too worried about his Mom to realize he shouldn't have gotten there sooner than Lex and his Dad. So. Change the subject.

"Are you all right, Lex?" he asked. "Are you drinking?" Well, of course, Clark knew he was, but he wanted to distract him.

"Oh, Clark. Clark, Clark, Clark." Lex taunted him. "Always answering a question with a question. So predictable." Lex sighed, and Clark could hear him swallow, hear the ice tinkling closer to the phone. Pictured Lex pacing in his office, phone in one hand, drink in the other, and eyes dark with anger. Hurt. Abandonment. Clark had overheard what had transpired between Luthor Senior and Junior after the crisis was over. Knew in hindsight he should have stayed closer to Lex. Felt the Guilt growing again.

"Are you just going to sit there and drink all night? I could come over and keep you company for a while." Clark offered.

Lex sighed, clearly audible to Clark's sensitive hearing. "I don't have to drink all night, Clark, as I'm pretty much shitfaced right now." Clark winced at the rare vulgarity coming from Lex's cultured mouth. "I'm going to finish off this bottle, and then I think I'm going for a drive. I want to feel some power that actually belongs to me. I just have to figure out which one is the fastest car."

Clark's heart sped up in sudden fear. "No, Lex, stay there. I'll be right over. I can drive you wherever you want to go. You don't want to be getting arrested or...anything." Clark faltered at the end, hesitating to speak aloud about physical hurt to Lex when he could barely stand to even think about it silently.

"I'll be fine, Clark. Bye." And Lex disconnected the call abruptly, sending Clark racing down the stairs and into the kitchen frantically.

"I have to go to Lex's! Now! I think he's going to get hurt and I can't let him!" Clark blurted out to his parents, streaking out the kitchen door and disappearing before they could even think about stopping him.

It had started to rain, cold, hard drops deluging from the black sky, but Clark didn't even notice. His heart was pounding, and it wasn't from the exertion of superspeed, as that never affected him. It was the fear coursing through him, even though he knew he could get to the mansion before Lex could even get out to the garage and start up an engine.

He'd underestimated Lex, who must have been heading for the garage even while they had been on the phone, because his red Ferrari was already idling out front. Clark didn't even bother trying to get through the gates, he simply leaped over them, not caring if Lex saw him. Lex wasn't looking however, he was in the process of reaching down to the floor by his feet where he had dropped one of his favorite leather driving gloves. It was a power surge he was looking for, and if he was going to possibly ruin one of his favorite cars, he planned to do it in style.

Lex closed his gloved hand around the gear shift, an almost-caress, and put the car in gear, foot already on the gas, then had to slam on the brakes suddenly, engine whining in protest at the conflicting commands. He slammed it back into Park, exasperated.

Clark. Standing in front of his car, watching him warily through the windshield, blocking his way. Terror flashbacks in his head, of the bridge, the boy he was sure he had hit. Killed.

Lex frowned and realized suddenly that Clark was wet. Actually, he was wet himself, and hey, when did it start to rain so hard out there? And how long did it take him to get the car out of the garage anyway? He didn't think he'd had enough to drink tonight to be having blackouts. Not yet, at least. He sighed and raised his hand slowly, waving at Clark through the windshield to get out of the way. Clark shook his strangely appealing wet head and stayed right where he was.

Lex gunned the motor in warning, angry when he saw Clark smile in response. He pushed the button to open the window, rain flying into the car to make him even wetter.

"Maybe it'll hurt if I hit you this time," he shouted to Clark, who was suddenly next to the car, yanking the door open, pulling Lex out of the car into the downpour, something unreadable on Clark's face, and Lex was afraid, had this eerie vision of being thrown across the lawn to land in a drunken heap, powerless. That wouldn't do. And he really needed another drink.

"What do you think you're doing, Lex?" Clark demanded, hands fisted in Lex's shirt and sweater, rain running down his face and Lex felt an insane urge to lean in and lick it all off, gave a small choked laugh and thought maybe he really shouldn't have another drink. Ever.

Lex glanced down and tried uselessly to pry Clark's hands off. "Why do you even care?" He asked, without looking up. "Nobody the hell else does."

"How can you even ask me something like that?" Clark objected. "What, are you going to go and drive off another bridge? Hope there's no one there to save you this time?"

Lex gave up on the prying-of-the-hands thing and shook the cold rain off his head, finally looking up into Clark's face. Clark's way too close face. "I just need to be somewhere else for a while." He replied. Maybe, be someone else for a while, he thought, but didn't say, couldn't admit out loud.

"You wanna go?" Clark asked lightly. "We'll go. We'll go together. But, I'm driving," he insisted, all but dragging a struggling Lex around the car to the passenger side, opening the door and pushing him in, none too gently.

Lex had barely begun to try to regain his composure when Clark was sitting in the driver's seat, revving the powerful motor teasingly, watching Lex out of the corner of his eye.

"So, are we going, or what?" Lex asked moodily.

Clark glanced at him sideways. "You going to put that seat belt on?"

"Nope." Lex replied shortly.

"Well then, neither am I." Clark decided, wanting to make Lex think, failing at that for the moment. "Hope I can drive this thing," he muttered.

"Just fucking drive already." Lex demanded, reaching down to the floor on his side and coming up with a new bottle of brandy. Clark reached out and ripped it from his hands, flinging it out the window just before he closed it against the driving rain.

"No more drinking tonight, Lex. We need to talk."

Lex could feel the anger building up even more inside him, almost overshadowing the hurt of being ignored by, well, everyone. Almost, but not quite. And then there was that little picture of Martha Kent, safe and sound, definitely no thanks to him. Harder to push aside.

"You need to drive. What do we have to talk about?" Lex asked, leaning into the seat, wet all over now and not liking it one bit. Clark was even more uncomfortable, having been in the rain a bit longer than Lex, and the seat was wet from the window having been opened, too.

"I'm sorry, Lex. I'm sorry you and your Dad had a fight today. I'm sorry you and my Dad had words, too. Mostly, I'm sorry we all just walked away from you back there. I was just so glad that Mom was okay, just so glad that they could forget about their argument...."

Lex made some kind of exasperated noise, causing Clark to look over at him, at the same time pushing the button on the keyring that would open the gates for them. He had seen Lex do it a hundred times.

"Everyone walks away eventually, Clark. I just thought...."

"Thought what?" Clark asked, turning out of the driveway and heading down the dark, wet highway.

"I just thought you wouldn't. But I see I was wrong about that. You won't even let me drive my own fucking car. And I want to know what's going on, Clark. Dammit! I'm not an idiot. I'm not blind. How the fuck did you get to Metropolis before I did? How did you get into LuthorCorp? Why didn't I kill you?"

"It doesn't matter right now, Lex," Clark argued, speeding up, shifting gears, wanting to feel what the car could do. Wanting to distract Lex somehow.

"How fast can you go, Clark?" Lex asked, and even Lex wasn't sure he was talking about the car.

"How fast do you want me to go? Do you trust me?" Clark countered.

Lex shook his head. "Question with a question, Clark. Unacceptable."

Clark gave it more gas, inching the speedometer up quickly, wipers on high and still not doing the job adequately against the downpour.

Lex leaned over and tried to grab Clark's arm angrily. "Slow down and answer the fucking question, Farmboy!"

Clark's arm came out faster than Lex could see and slammed him back against the passenger seat, stealing Lex's breath and replacing it with a flash of fear. This is Clark, Lex's brain reassured him immediately. He can hurt you, but he won't. He doesn't know it was all your fault.

"Don't do that." Clark warned quietly. "Don't touch me...while I'm driving."

"I do what I want. You of all people should know that."

"You need to cool off, Lex. Just because I was so happy my Mother was alive is no reason for you to be resenting me, be mad at me, for wanting to stay right there with her. I said I was sorry. I tried to talk to you on the way home and you wouldn't. I call you, and I get this crazy, suicide/power trip talk from you. What were you going to do? Drink yourself into oblivion and then try to drive there? What the hell else am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to think? Should I have just stayed home? Gone to bed and seen your wrecked car on the news in the morning? Would it make you feel better if you could hurt me like that?"

There was no way Lex was going to talk about Clark's mother. "Is that even possible? To hurt you?"

Clark waited until he steered the car around a particularly sharp turn before he answered. "It's possible," he admitted. Well, it was a half truth; given the proper circumstances and the presence of meteor chunks, it was very possible.

"Can you be betrayed?" Lex pushed.

"Yes, I can, Lex, everyone can some way or another. You don't have that all locked up in a Luthor package just for you."

"Oh, really?" Lex asked angrily, turning in his seat so he could face Clark, aim his glare as directly as possible, a shiver running through him, and Lex didn't know if it was Clark's nearness or the rain finally soaking through to his skin that did it. He was getting really cold, and wouldn't allow himself to reach out to the dash and turn up the heater, wouldn't allow even a small chink in his armor to show.

"Well, let's see..." Lex debated sarcastically. "Victoria, we all know what she did for me; employees too numerous to mention in too many offices around the globe; Helen, who as much as told me she doesn't have feelings for me, and had a secret meeting with good old Dad that I haven't gotten to the bottom of yet;"

Clark's eyebrows raised at that; this was something Lex had not mentioned until now.

Lex continued. "And, of course, good old Dad. And you, Clark, even you."

Clark tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "I haven't........"

Lex wouldn't let him finish. "You betray me every day, Clark. Every. Fucking. Day. How did you get to Metropolis before me?"

"This has nothing to do with that, Lex," Clark tried to argue, but Lex reached out and gripped his arm again, squeezing in anger, trying to hurt him. The touch went right from Clark's arm to his brain and traveled through the rest of him like lightening. He couldn't drive any more, and twisted the steering wheel hard to skid to a stop on the shoulder of the road. He kept the motor running, looking out through the windshield at the almost futile attempts of the wipers to keep the glass clear. He listened a minute, heart skittering a bit, then picking up the steady beat of the wipers, the powerful purr of the engine that he could feel in his body, turned his head and looked pointedly from Lex's hand on his arm up to Lex's angry face.

"I told you not to touch me while I was driving," He said very quietly. "I warned you."

Lex jerked his hand off Clark's arm and pushed his door open abruptly, rain slamming into the car with the wind.

"Fuck you, Clark!" Lex growled, turning to step out into the deluge, just a bit unsteady from all the brandy, but determined nonetheless.

Clark grinned at him tauntingly. "Not right now, Lex. Maybe later, when you're sober. Would that make you feel better?"

Lex froze, not believing Clark would say a thing like that to him, keep this insane argument going when even Lex was getting tired of it. Frustrated by everyone, betrayed by everyone, guilty as all Hell, and all he wanted was one true word from Clark, one true feeling he could trust.

"Nice, Clark. Really nice. Go home and tell Martha to wash out your mouth with soap, and then get on the Internet and see exactly what the hell you're talking about, because you have no fucking clue!"

Clark relented, softened, trying to smooth things over and make Lex stay in the car. This was senseless and going nowhere, and he didn't want to argue anymore. "Lex, just calm down. I'm sorry. Stay in the car..."

Lex stepped out into the driving rain, leaning back in before he slammed the door closed. "Keep the damn car. Maybe your dad will let you have this one. I'll walk."

That was it for Clark. He threw his head back, grinding molars in frustration, and slammed a hand against the steering wheel, knocking it a bit off center. He was out of the car and around to the other side before Lex had managed to go two steps.

"What's with you, Lex" Clark asked loudly, making himself heard over the pounding of the rain, blinking the cold water away from his eyes. Lex was already drenched and he wasn't dressed for the weather. The rain wouldn't make Clark cold, but it was uncomfortable, and he knew Lex must be absolutely miserable.

Lex wanted to say everything, but he settled for "Nothing. I'm going home."

Clark's warm hand on his chest stopped him from taking another step forward, and his body rebelled against retreating, confused feelings reaching out for the feel of Clark through Lex's wet clothes. "Tell me, Lex. Don't you trust me?"

Lex shook cold rain out of his eyes. "Do you trust me?" he asked seriously. "I know you don't. I know every day that you don't. Not when I can see these things...these things that you won't talk about. You're my best friend, and you lie to me every day. You shouldn't trust me, either, for the things you don't know. I try to do so many things, so many good things, try to protect myself, protect.....other people, and nothing ever works out the way it's supposed to. We're best friends, and all we do is lie to each other. No matter how hard I try, I end up with nothing. No one."

Clark took a step closer, blinking his eyes against the rain. "I'm your friend, Lex. I care. What do I have to do to convince you? Do we trust each other? I trust you. I trust you with my life, with anyone's life. Weren't you trying to help my Mom back there today?"

Bad feelings crashed in on Lex from all sides then, forcing the retreat he had denied himself earlier, losing the feeling of connection he'd had, the comforting feel of heat and acceptance. Even possible forgiveness, although somewhere in the back of his mind Lex knew he would never forgive himself.

"I'm going to lose you, Clark. Might as well do it sooner than later." Lex managed to get out, still backing away, stopped when he felt himself up against the side of the Ferrari.

Clark had matched his retreat with forward steps of his own, and the distance between them was negligible now, filled only with the stinging drops of rain that simply refused to ease up. A small gust of wind whipped around the car, making Lex shiver, making him lean closer, straining to find the heat he could just barely feel in front of him.

"You're not going to lose me, Lex. Not in this lifetime. Not if I can do anything to prevent it."

Lex swallowed hard. The scent of night rain and Clark enveloped him, stopped his heart and was well on the way to closing off his throat.

"You don't understand," Lex tried quietly, unable to back away any further, and really not wanting to anyway.

"I understand plenty, more than you think," Clark told him, edging the tiniest bit closer to speak softly through the pounding of the rain, and the sound of the engine and wipers next to them.

Lex shook his head. "You don't understand what I want from you," Lex continued, abruptly realizing that until this very night, Lex hadn't been sure what he wanted either.

Clark gave him a half-smile that all but tore Lex's heart right out of his chest. He shrugged. "What, my nonexistent secrets?"

Lex took in a shuddering breath, inhaling Clark. "No.....just you."

The slightest flicker of surprise in the green eyes, then a darkening in them, a sharp intake of breath clearly heard against the pummeling of the rain on the roof of the car. One frozen moment when all Lex could feel was the cold rain soaking him, and then Clark moved, too fast for Lex to follow, dipped his head and Lex's mouth was covered, taken, rain forgotten, cold forgotten, hardness of the car against his back totally overshadowed by the heat of the firm body pressing against his front.

Clark opened his mouth and reached inside to taste, finding rain, brandy and Lex, and he moaned softly around the tongue sliding against his, pressed himself harder against Lex, searched for Lex's cock with his own and hissed harshly into Lex's mouth when he found it.

Lex's mind had stopped, his heart had stopped and if he had to stop breathing he would do that, too, anything, anything to keep this moment, so reminiscent of the first time they had met, the first time they had touched. Both soaked to the skin then, too, lips meeting like this, but not like this. Cold and damp like this, but now there was so much heat inside that the cold didn't matter, the rain didn't matter. Clark's hands were around his waist, pulling them together almost desperately, and Lex put his wet hands on the sides of Clark's equally wet face, pulled Clark's mouth even harder against his, wanted to devour, wanted to conquer. Wanted to be conquered, belong. Released Clark's mouth then and started licking the rain from his face, what he'd wanted to do a little while ago. Clark threw his head back, face up into the deluge, hips grinding Lex into the side of the Ferrari, and Lex tasted his way down Clark's throat, grabbed Clark's waist with his hands and tried to pull him in even tighter, knowing he'd have bruises in the morning and not giving a flying fuck about that, couldn't wait to see them.

Clark was gasping, thought he'd get an erection every time he saw rain for the rest of his life, wanted to grind into Lex until it hurt, knew he couldn't and settled for pulling Lex's head away from his throat for another demanding kiss. "Jesus, Clark," Lex was moaning into his mouth. "I need to touch you, let me touch you."

Clark groaned deep in his chest and released Lex's lips, hands going unbidden to Lex's shoulders and pushing without even consciously thinking about it, Clark's body taking over his mind to get what Clark really wanted. Lex slid down the side of the wet car, unmindful when his knees hit the mud, pressed his face against the jeans plastered to the front of Clark, to his hard cock, gripped the waist of Clark's pants, holding on and leaning his forehead against the hardness, breathing harshly, the feel of Clark's warm, wet hands smoothing caresses over his skull driving him to distraction. Lex looked up to find Clark looking down at him, rain cascading around them, dripping from Clark's hair, from his face, and Lex thought he had never seen anything as arousing as the look in Clark's eyes, the hunger he recognized there.

"You want the power, Lex," Clark whispered between ragged breaths, pressing a little harder on Lex's smooth scalp. "This is the power."

Lex closed his eyes against the tremendous surge of emotion and desire filling him, making his heart pound, making it difficult to draw breath. He struggled with Clark's zipper a few seconds, making it work in the soggy jeans, pulled pants and boxers down in the same movement, hands clasping the hard cock in front of him, feeling the heat of it, the stomach-twisting steel of it, had a brief, hysterical thought that if the rain hit it, the drops would dissolve into steam, it was so hot. Was tempted to test the theory, but wanted the taste too badly, wanted the weight and hardness of it in his mouth, and he moved his hands and licked up the underside of it, making Clark's hips thrust toward him, tearing Lex's name from Clark, loud enough for Lex to hear him above the deluge. The hands on his head moved back to his shoulders, gripping him tightly, urging him with an accompanying "Please, Lex," from above him.

Lex was more than happy to oblige, and startled a harsh gasp from Clark by abruptly engulfing Clark's cock in his mouth.

"Fuck, Lex!" Clark shouted, barely able to remain standing with the onslaught to his senses, and Clark thought nothing could ever feel any better than this, and then Lex started sucking, and Clark was gone, pulled his hands away from Lex as if Lex had burned him, leaned into Lex's mouth, slammed his hands on top of the car, where it wouldn't matter if he crushed something, because he couldn't control himself now, moaned Lex's name over and over, thrusting into Lex's hot mouth, head hanging down between his arms, eyes closed so all his other senses could take over, and this was like nothing ever before, wanted this, wanted Lex forever and ever. Lex had his hands on Clark's ass and was pulling with Clark's thrusts, hungry mouth unrelenting, forcing the ragged gasps from Clark's throat, demanding Clark's release, and Clark's body could never have denied anything Lex wanted, brought Clark to heart-stopping, paralyzing orgasm, letting Lex have exactly what he wanted, dragging Clark to a blinding white place, where there was no rain, no cold, no wet metal under his hands, just Lex on his knees, taking everything Clark could give, and then petting him, holding him, and Clark came back to himself with Lex's lips on his again, still hungry, still demanding, still hard against Clark.

Lex was moaning with need into Clark's mouth, and Clark moved away from him fractionally to struggle with getting his wet pants back up around his hips, grabbed Lex's face then and kissed him again, hotly, whispering into Lex's mouth.

"What do you want, Lex? Anything you want, it's yours, all yours."

"Just...anything, everything," Lex groaned into Clark's mouth, and Clark hit his knees abruptly in front of Lex, pushing gently on Lex's hips until he was leaning back against the car, kneaded Lex's hipbones through the wetness of his pants, hoped it never stopped raining, so Lex's clothes would always be plastered to his hard cock like this. Listened to the uneven breathing above him, wanted to make Lex wait longer, but couldn't bring himself to do it, wanted to make Lex feel just like he had a few moments ago, working Lex's zipper and baring the leaking cock hidden there. Lex jumped and moaned at the touch of Clark's hand, and Clark pumped up and down once experimentally, watching in fascination as a drop of pre-come appeared, to mingle with the few drops of rain finding their way to Lex's exposed flesh. Clark closed his eyes and licked across the head, wanting to taste, rain and Lex, the very essence of Lex.

"Oh, God, Clark, please don't make me wait, I can't wait," and Lex's hands were fisted in his wet hair savagely, would have hurt anyone else, but Clark loved it, felt his own cock twitch, getting hard again already. He moaned, closing his mouth around the head of Lex's cock, sucking in as Lex thrust his hips desperately.

Lex held onto Clark's hair, sliding in and out of the heat of Clark mindlessly, and this was luxurious, this was something his money would never be able to buy for him, and he would have gladly paid anything, would pay anything the rest of his life to be able to fuck Clark's mouth like this, just like this, and Lex looked down, wanted to see Clark's mouth on him, underestimated the effect the sight would have on him, and that's when his orgasm took him, shattering his mind into oblivion. This was Clark, it was Clark and he wanted this always, was so blindingly afraid to admit who had the power here, but didn't really care anymore, emptying himself down Clark's throat like it was forever and he'd never stop.

But he did stop, then, sinking down beside Clark in the rain and the mud, holding Clark's face and kissing him softly, tasting rain and himself, and God, he loved the rain now, would love rain the rest of his life.

Lex leaned his wet forehead against Clark's wet forehead and tried to get his breathing to even out.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered against the noise of the rain and the still-idling car next to them. "You have no idea."

Clark froze, hands on Lex's sides, squeezing lightly. "Sorry.....about this?" he asked fearfully, thinking he would shrivel up and die if Lex thought what had just happened was a mistake.

"About...Oh, no, Clark, I can't ever be sorry about this." He kissed Clark again to reaffirm his words. "I'm sorry about Metropolis; sorry about being a dick today."

Clark brushed a kiss across the top of Lex's head, pulling him closer. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he replied. "I acted badly tonight, too. But we need to talk, Lex, and can we please not do it here? I want to get dry."

Lex laughed lightly against Clark's throat, teasing the damp skin there with his tongue. "I'll drive," he decided.