How could I have been so blind to not see you
The more that I look the more I find
You've led me to the truth
That I am nothing if I'm without you
Lex came out to me at the beginning of my sophomore year at Met U. I hadn't been all that surprised, but I had been hopeful that when Lex confessed his bisexuality, it was a prelude to another declaration. A declaration that never came, unfortunately.
Sometimes Lex would look at me like he wanted to devour me whole. I wasn't blind. Whenever he did that, it felt like he was testing me and I always felt like I was on the edge of falling - or failing - depending on how you looked at it. I sometimes imagined that he knew I wanted him, too, and he was trying to see if I would choose sex over the friendship. Yeah, well, my brain works in mysterious ways
Instead of a declaration, I spent that year watching a stream of beautiful men and women entering and exiting Lex's life. There was an international model named Guillaume, who lasted all of a week, and then Zosia, some big-deal spokesperson for a cosmetics company. I think Lex kept her around for about 10 days. Then he dated these twins named Romero and Rory. They weren't models; just rich and pretty. I had to deal with them for nearly three weeks. The list was endless. Even I forgot some of their names.
Every time I saw Lex, he had a new beauty on his arm. Sometimes it was a man and sometimes it was a woman. More often, it was a man, and that made me even more jealous than the women. I kept wondering why I wasn't good enough or beautiful enough or sophisticated enough to be on Lex's arm. When he or she would disappear a few days or weeks later, I'd remind myself that I didn't want to be a conquest. I wanted to be enough for Lex, which I knew was an overly romantic way to look at things. Still, it was what I wanted and if I couldn't have that, I'd be happy with just the friendship, which was one of the best and most fulfilling I'd ever had.
Unlike Lex, I had very few lovers. Well, to be more honest, I currently only had one. Her name was Susie Cantor and she was a couple of years older than me. She had seduced me one night at the end of my freshman year when I'd gotten drunk and was sulking over Lex. I was feeling sorry for myself and, well, kinda horny.
The next morning, I'd felt really guilty, thinking that I'd done to her what Lex had done to all his ex-lovers. Susie had set me straight. She wanted to have fun, not get involved. Ever since then, we'd slept together every few weeks. I hated the expression "fuck buddy," but that was pretty much what we were. Each time we got together I kept telling myself that this time would be the last, that it was wrong. But then a couple of weeks would pass and Susie would stop by when I was feeling down or horny and we'd end up in bed again.
I rationalized it. Susie likes it this way, I told myself. And I didn't want to date anyone else when I still harbored these feelings for Lex. It wouldn't be fair to whoever I dated. I didn't really have interest in anyone other than Lex.
It was pathetic, I know, but there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it. I certainly wasn't going to stop being friends with Lex. The friendship brought me as much joy as it did pain. I loved spending time with Lex, whether we were just hanging out watching DVDs or taking a drive or going to a concert. Lex listened to me and understood me the way no one else did. Sure, we had our share of fights, but we would always find out way back to each other. I'd apologize and he'd make some grand gesture, like offering to take me clubbing in Paris, and we'd get right back into our rhythm.
Susie stopped by my dorm room late one Friday night in October. It was warm out and she was wearing a short, tight, black skirt, which showed off her long, lean legs. Her long red hair was pinned up on her head. She looked gorgeous, but she wasn't Lex. Still, she had that look on her face. You know the one I mean -- and we ended up in bed together, just like we always did. Luckily, I had a single room. Mom and Dad had insisted the extra cost was worth it, so I didn't have to worry about a nosy roommate finding out about my abilities.
The sex was good, but Susie wasn't one to linger afterwards, so she got up to get dressed. Just then, the phone rang.
"Hey, Clark, it's Lex."
As if I wouldn't know his voice by now. "Hey, Lex."
"What are you doing tonight? Want to come meet me at Club Metro? I have a very lovely young lady here who wants to meet you."
Oh jeez. Now he was going to start fixing me up on dates? "Um, that's okay, Lex. I already have a date." And he probably had one, too. Most likely male.
This caused Susie to pause and quirk an eyebrow at me. I shooed her on but she stood there waiting.
"That's great, Clark," Lex said, but he didn't sound like he meant it. "Call me if you change your mind." And then he was gone, probably to flirt with his dates. Great. Now, I had this lovely image of him with two people slinking around him on the dance floor. They'd be running their hands all over him, kissing him, whispering dirty things in his ears. Promises for later.
"What was that about?" Susie asked, startling me.
I surprised myself by asking her to grab a bite with me. I guess I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't bear dwelling on Lex and his dates, and Susie was a very handy distraction. She surprised me by saying yes.
We went to this casual Italian place called Tandino's, that was about a 15-minute drive off campus. Lex had taken me there a few times. It was slightly upscale from the campus eateries, but not too fancy. We'd just finished our appetizers when I looked across the room and saw Lex come in. With two dates, just as I had thought. Fuck. I prayed he wouldn't notice me. I scooted my chair a little so I wasn't looking directly at the front door.
"Something wrong, Kent?" Susie asked, and then turned around to see what had made me so nervous.
Lex was strolling across the restaurant with both of his dates sandwiching him. One was a beautiful brunette who looked like she walked off the cover of Playboy. Must have been the one he had found for me. The other was some pretty boy toy with black hair, who looked like he just walked out of a gay nightclub. He probably had. They both wore designer clothes that were skimpy enough to show off their perfect bodies. I definitely made the right decision not to meet them. I think it would have killed me to watch Lex make out with that guy and for me to pretend I was interested in that girl.
Just as they got to their table, Lex saw me. He gave me a smile and strode over toward our table confidently, leaving his dates to follow in his wake.
"Clark!" he exclaimed when he was halfway across the room. I blushed and stood up to greet him. He gave me a warm hug that made me feel a little bit weak in the knees, and asked me how I was.
"Oh, Lex, I want to you to meet Susie," I said, turning to her. Lex pulled his attention away from me and looked down at her. "Susie, this is Lex. My best friend."
He shook her hand. "You must be Clark's date. Pleased to meet you," he said smoothly. She shivered when he spoke and I made a mental note to ask her about that later.
"Do you want to sit with us?" I offered. I hoped he would say no. I couldn't bear the thought of watching his dates drape all over him for an hour.
"Some other time, Clark. I've got my hands full," he said, indicating the two ridiculously beautiful people behind him. He winked at me conspiratorially, as if to indicate it was all my fault. He leaned in and whispered, "I'll give you a call tomorrow." I felt his breath across my neck and it sent a shudder through me.
"You're best friends with Lex Luthor and you never told me?!" Susie asked as soon as he was out of earshot.
"You and I don't exactly hang out or you would know. He comes to visit me at the dorm all the time." I sounded awfully defensive. Deep breath.
"Well, I never heard about it. People do usually gossip about things like that."
"Maybe you're just out of the loop," I teased her, trying to lighten the mood. Couldn't have her suspecting I was madly in love with my best friend. The questions would never end.
The rest of the meal passed pretty quietly. I tried hard not to notice Lex, but the laughter at his table kept pulling my attention. I hated that they were enjoying his company. It should have been me - just me. A few times, he caught me watching him and I flushed, turning away. Finally, I got up to use the bathroom, hoping he'd be gone when I got back.
Unfortunately, he wasn't. We finished our meal quickly and waved good-bye to Lex on our way out.
On the way back to campus, Susie let me drive her car. I was silent most of the way, but then she surprised me when we were almost back on the campus.
"You should tell him how you feel about him," she said, touching me on the arm.
I tried to feign ignorance. "I don't know what you mean."
"The hell you don't," she challenged. "You're in love with your best friend and you don't have the guts to tell him. Why not?"
"You're crazy." I tried to sound flippant, but it came out with nervous squeak. She'd really caught me off guard.
"Come on, Kent. You can't fool me. Fess up."
Damn it. She was not going to be deterred. "It's not that simple."
"Why not? You love him and he loves you. What could be simpler than that?" She sounded exasperated with me.
"He loves me as a friend. Nothing more," I said, looking at her pointedly before turning my attention back to the road.
"Kent, you are blind as a bat," she said. "He looks at you like he wants to eat ice cream out of your belly button."
I made a strangled sound and made the car swerve a little. I took a deep breath. "That's just lust. I don't want to be someone Lex just fucks and tosses aside."
"Lex would never do that to you." She sounded so certain. It almost gave me hope.
"How do you know?" I asked, glancing in her direction. "This is the first time you've ever met him!"
"Yeah, but I saw the way he looked at you. He's crazy about you."
Crazy about me. I liked the sound of that. But it wasn't true. Not the way she meant it. I scoffed.
"He couldn't keep his eyes off you in that restaurant. He followed you all the way to the men's room."
"He did not," I insisted, but it could have been true. I wanted it to be true. I knew Lex wanted to sleep with me and, God, it was so tempting, but it wasn't enough. Still, it was kind of cool that he was watching me when he was there with two other people. "He only loves me as a friend."
"I think it's way more than that."
"If he felt that way, why wouldn't he tell me? Why would he be sleeping with every beautiful model that waltzes through his life?"
"Do you have to be hit over the head with a hammer to get it? Jeez!" she said, hitting me gently on the arm. "He won't tell you because the way you live your life screams, `I'm straight.' Have you ever dated another guy? Don't answer that. I know you haven't."
"I'm not attracted to other guys. Just Lex."
"Yeah, well, he doesn't know that. Apparently, he's as blind as you are."
"If he loves me so much, how can he just be so casual about who he fucks?" I asked angrily.
"Oh, I don't know," she said sarcastically, raising her hands in the air. "Maybe because he thinks since he can't have you, he doesn't have anything to lose?"
"You're wrong," I said, and that shut her down. Thank God. I couldn't listen to any more false hopes. There was no way in hell Lex was going to give up his freedom and his merry-go-round of beautiful lovers just for me. Not permanently.
I tried to call Lex the next day, but he was in a meeting and he never called me back. Over the next couple of weeks, he seemed to be avoiding me. I couldn't figure out what was up with him. I called him a couple more times to get together, but he kept coming up with excuses. I'd invite him over to the dorm to watch movies and he'd say he had an early meeting. Or I'd ask him what his plans were for that evening and he'd say he had work to catch up on.
I ran into him about a week after my "date" with Susie. He seemed preoccupied. He didn't ask me about Susie at all, which struck me as odd. Lex had always wanted to know about the girls I was interested in or dating and I was surprised when he asked nothing about Susie. There wasn't really anything to tell, but I was still kind of disappointed he didn't ask. It made me wonder if maybe he was losing interest in me and what was happening in my life.
The couple of times I ran into him after that, he was always alone, which was odd considering his dating habits over the last year. There were no reports in the paper of his latest conquests, either, and I really started to wonder what was going on with him.
Susie caught me sulking a week or so later, so I confessed what was bothering me. She tried to reassure me that Lex was probably pre-occupied with some big business deal and I shouldn't worry. But I did worry. All the time. I went through every horrible scenario I could think of. Lex was sick and trying to hide it from me. But he didn't look sick when I saw him those few times.
Then I decided that Lex was tired of hanging out with a college kid. He was a grown man and was making new friends in Metropolis or catching up with old ones. It was one thing for him to hang out with me in Smallville when there weren't a whole lot of people to choose from, I told myself. Now, he has sophisticated friends.
I was making myself nuts.
I finally decided enough was enough and called him. It had been nearly three weeks since Susie and I saw him at the restaurant.
"Lex, I need to talk to you. It's important so please don't making any excuses."
"You're right, Clark. It's been too long since we've spent any time together. I'll stop by around nine tonight."
I hadn't expected it to be that easy and I was skeptical that he was going to show up at all, but he did. Right on time. Still, he seemed nervous and edgy. He kept pacing around my dorm room. I had the feeling he was getting ready to tell me something really big; something that was going to rock me. I feared it would be something I wasn't going to like hearing.
What if he was getting married again?! Maybe that was why he'd stopped dating and going out? He'd found the perfect woman (or man). He was in love and planning to make some life-long commitment. Oh God, please no.
"Clark, are you alright? You look a little pale."
"Lex, what is going on with you?" I asked impatiently, trying to deflect his attention away from me.
Lex looked surprised and finally sat down in my desk chair. "What do you mean?" he asked, as I sat on my bed, opposite him.
"I mean I haven't seen you for weeks and you've been avoiding me." As soon as the words left my mouth, I cringed. I sounded like a jealous girlfriend.
"I haven't been avoiding you, Clark. I've just been busy," he said softly. He sounded tired.
"There hasn't been anything about you in the papers." Oh great, now he was going to think I was stalking him. Someone put a muzzle on me now please.
Lex chuckled. "Do you like reading about me in the paper?"
"Not especially. But when there's no news, my mind starts to wonder what you might doing and if you're okay."
"I'm fine, Clark. Really. Besides being busy, I have had something on my mind and I needed some time to sort it all out."
Lex moved the chair closer and touched my hand. I was surprised and had to force myself not to jerk back. "Clark, can I ask you something?
"Yeah, sure." Lex's thumb was rubbing the back of my hand and it started to tingle. Where could this possibly going?
"And you'll be honest with me?"
I swallowed. "I'll try. There are some things I just can't talk about, Lex."
"This has nothing to do with your abilities," he snapped. I must have looked surprised because he went on. "I've long since given up that you'll share those with me anytime soon, but surely you can't be surprised that I know about them."
I ignored that and waited for him to continue. "This question is more of a personal nature," he said and took a deep breath. He seemed to be struggling over what to say, which shocked me. It wasn't like Lex at all. I was starting to get really nervous.
"Clark, I'm not sure how to ask this."
Oh God! He was dying and he was going to ask me to deliver the eulogy at his funeral! "Just spit it out, Lex. You're making me crazy here!" My hands were starting to shake in his grasp.
"How do you feel about me? Please be completely honest."
What?! Where the heck was this coming from? "Lex, you're scaring me. I'm trying to figure out what's going on."
"Just answer the question and I'll tell you."
I sighed dramatically. I was started to feel annoyed on top of the nervousness. "You know how I feel about you, Lex. You're my best friend. I love you. I'd do anything for you." No need to tell him just how much I meant it.
"Would you let me kiss you?"
Shit, he saw right through me. "Lex?"
"You just said you'd do anything for me. I'm asking if you'll let me kiss you."
I pulled out of his grasp and stood up. "I don't know what this is all about, but I don't think it's funny."
He followed me up and grabbed hold of my shoulders. "I don't think this is funny either, Clark. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong." He took a deep breath and ran one hand over his scalp. "I recently discovered that you might have feelings for me that go beyond friendship and I'm trying to find out if that's true."
Susie. That bitch. I wanted to strangle her. When the hell had she told him? "Look, Lex, I don't know what you heard," I stammered, willing my brain to come up with something - anything that would save me from this conversation.
Lex pressed his finger to my lips. "Ssh, Clark. It's okay. Really. If it's true, I have a confession of my own to make."
I was confused again. "I don't understand."
"Clark, I want to be with you," he said. Before I could even react, he was straining toward me and his lips were pressing against mine. His hands were in my hair, holding me. I felt like I was floating when we connected and for a moment, everything seemed perfect. Everything I'd ever wanted was becoming reality. And then I remembered all the men and women he'd been with over the last year. How he'd just dumped them all like a trail of old popcorn when he got bored. It was like a cold splash of water in the face. I pressed my hands against his chest and pushed him gently away.
"I can't, Lex. I'm sorry," I said, walking across the room.
"I guess I misunderstood, Clark. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
His tone was deadpan but I heard something else under it. I turned my head to see Lex simmering with barely restrained rage. He probably thought that Susie lied to him or made a mistake. He would take it out on her if I didn't clear things up.
"No, Lex, you didn't misunderstand. I do have those feelings for you. I always have." He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "I don't want to risk our friendship for sex. I know you're not interested in long-term relationships. I care about you too much to just be one of your casual lovers." I shook my head at the image. "The thought of being one of your former boyfriends makes me feel sick. I think it might make me hate you a little bit and I don't ever want to feel like that."
Lex's face got tight and his eyes narrowed. "Former boyfriend? Clark, the only way you'd ever be a former boyfriend is over my dead body." He said it so vehemently, it scared me a little. Truth be told, it thrilled me, too. "I've been in love with you for so long, I don't know any other state of being." Lex's voice cracked a little and it broke my heart. I could't believe what I was hearing. "That's why I've never dated anyone seriously. No one I've ever met could possibly compare to you. You're everything to me, Clark. Don't you know that by now?" He stepped close to me and held me by the shoulders. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
I looked down at him, feeling a little embarrassed. I'd never seen Lex open himself up so much before. I felt honored, a little scared and a lot stupid for not realizing it before. His feelings for me were plainly written all over his face. I had somehow chosen not to see them until now. "I always thought that was just a really strong friendship thing," I said and I could feel my cheeks heat up.
"It was. It is. Friendship is the strongest part of what we have, Clark. But I always wanted to go the extra mile for you. Be that one special person in your life. I just never thought you felt the same way about me." He paused and took a breath. "I've done things for you I'd never do for anyone else. I've accepted things about you that'd I never put up with from anyone else. God, the lies alone...." he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he pressed his fingers to my lips. "Not now, Clark. We can talk about all that later. Right now, I just want to kiss you and feel that you want it as badly as I do."
"I do, Lex," I barely managed to get the words out when his lips were on mine again. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Years of longing and hope came to fruition. My hands came up to hold his head. I could feel the pulse-beat of his blood under my fingertips. His mouth opened against mine and I tasted Lex the way I'd wanted to for nearly six years. It was intoxicating. Lex's moans of pleasure only made it more so.
His hands were stroking hard across my shoulders and over my chest. It felt like he was mapping me by touch. His fingers found the buttons of my shirt and made short work of them. Seconds later, the shirt was on the floor and my t-shirt followed quickly. Lex leaned back, looked at me and groaned. His eyes burned heat into my skin. And then his mouth was on my nipple, the shock of it jolting me. I shuddered and pressed my hands into his shoulders. I had to keep reminding myself to be gentle. I could break him so easily.
"Oh God, Lex."
"Clark, I've wanted you for so long," he whispered against my chest. "I can't believe that you've wanted me all this time. I feel like so much time's been lost." He reached up and kissed me again, his mouth taking possession of mine. All I could do was surrender and enjoy the sensations. His hands were stroking me again, pressing hard against the muscles of my chest. He was squeezing my nipples and making me crazy.
I'd been kissed before by aggressive women and shy women but none of them compared to Lex. He kissed me like I belonged to him. He was marking me with hungry bites to my lips and tongue. I moved my hands down to his hips (God help me, I'd always wanted to touch him there) and pulled him against me. I wanted to feel him; all of him. I wanted to have evidence of his desire for me and I found it. He groaned into my mouth and I echoed it back.
"Lex," I whispered when he moved down to press little bites to my chin and neck. "Wouldn't this be more comfortable and fun if we were naked in a bed?"
He lifted his head and grinned mischievously. "I like the way you think, Clark." He stepped back and I momentarily regretted opening my mouth. Then, he started undressing and it was all good.
His jacket dropped quickly to the floor, followed by his tight-fitting sweater. It looked so sexy on him, but naked was most definitely better. All that smooth, creamy skin - it was for my eyes alone from now on. I was mesmerized. He started undoing his pants and I was riveted to the movement of his hands. Such long, slender fingers. They were working feverishly to get his pants off. The first glimpse of his hips made me gasp. They were slim and tight. And I was riveted to that curve leading down to...
"Clark? You're still mostly dressed," he said, snapping me out of my reverie. His pants were gone now, along with his socks and shoes. He stood gloriously naked and all I could do was gape at how beautiful he was. His skin was pale but flushed with heat. I quickly unzipped my jeans as I took him in. He was hard; hard and leaking for me. I had a sudden urge to get on my knees and taste him.
I somehow managed to finish undressing, still staring at Lex. I tripped and nearly fell, which made Lex chuckle. I got my feet under me and pushed Lex back onto my dorm bed. "You're going to pay for that," I threatened him.
"I hope so," he said with a devilish grin. His eyes raked over me and I could see the hunger on his face. It made me blush and shiver at the same time. He stretched out across my bed sideways and put his arms behind his head, relaxed and waiting for me to do something. He looked so cocksure and that was beyond hot. I knelt on the bed and climbed over him, hovering there and looking at him.
His hand touched my face. "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are, Clark?" he whispered, his voice sounding awed.
I blushed again and dipped my head to the side to kiss his wrist. "You are," I said.
His hand slipped around to the back of my neck and he pulled me down for a kiss. I ended up sprawled on top of him, our legs hanging off the side of the bed. He made an "Ooomph" sound, which thankfully turned into moaning as our bodies pressed together. I loved the feel of his skin gliding against mine; he was so silky and hot. And couldn't seem to keep his hands off me. His hungry touch was better than anything I'd ever fantasized.
I couldn't stop kissing him. There was a very strong part of me that wanted to lick other parts of his body but every time I started to pull away, he'd suck my tongue deep into his mouth, or hold me down with his strong hands. He couldn't seem to get enough of me, either, and that was a pretty exhilarating thing to realize. We took turns licking and sucking and biting each other into bliss. I never knew someone's mouth could be such a source of pleasure. None of those kisses with Lana or Chloe or Susie ever did this to me.
The whole time we were kissing - and God, it felt more like we were devouring each other - Lex's hands were all over me, caressing and pinching and grabbing. It was like his hands needed to feel my skin. I felt the same way about his because I was doing my own fair share of stroking. When he squeezed my ass and pulled me hard against him, I gasped into his mouth. The desire was pouring off him in waves and being the recipient was pretty heady stuff.
Just when I was getting into the rhythm of kissing, Lex pushed me away abruptly. Not expecting it, I rolled sideways and landed on my back on the bottom half of the bed. I had to wiggle a bit to make sure we didn't both end up on the floor. Lex clambered over me quickly and kissed me again. "Don't worry, Clark. We're far from being finished. I just need to taste you," he said, and started kissing my neck.
He never stayed in one place for very long. He licked a stripe down my collarbone and then his teeth were clamped on my nipple before I took my next breath. I moaned and arched up against him. A couple more carefully placed bites and he was moving again down my sternum and over my belly. I think I held my breath when he licked my belly button.
"God, Clark, you taste so fucking good," he murmured. My stomach did a flip-flop at the tenderness and heat in his voice. He looked up, grinning. He moved again, his mouth hovering over my erection. He made sure I was still watching him and then his tongue came out and licked the tip. I shuddered as I watched it swirl around the head, lapping up the juices leaking there. Oh dear God, he was going to kill me. I dropped my head back into the mattress and prayed he'd suck me.
Instead, he kept teasing me by licking the length of it and swirling his tongue around the tip some more.
"Leeeeeeeeeeeeeex," I groaned out.
"Yes, Clark?" He sounded so calm and in control.
"You're torturing me here."
"Something you want, Clark?"
"Yes. You know there is."
"Tell me, Clark."
"My cock is begging for attention," I pointed out. "I want you to suck it."
He was still grinning. "It would be my pleasure, Clark." And then I was engulfed in his hot, wet mouth. I let out a muffled scream and it took every ounce of my self-control not to thrust. I was terrified I'd break his jaw or something. "Lex! Oh God, Lex," I shouted, wondering how something on earth could make me feel this good.
His tongue found nerve endings I didn't even know I had. I'd certainly never found them with my hand and neither had any of the few people I'd slept with. This is what I'd been missing all these years? I must have been crazy. I should have just attacked him years ago.
"Just wait, Clark. It's going to get better." Was he reading my mind? He pushed my legs apart and slipped his head in between them. He paused for a moment and I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Then I heard him inhale deeply and I realized that he was smelling me. Christ, what a turn on. He made a satisfied sound and it was like an electric charge along my nerves. He likes my scent.
He kissed the insides of my thighs and sucked one of my balls into his mouth. "Jesus!" I gasped. Lex was full of surprises - all of them good so far. He rolled it in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and I was awash in sensation. I moaned incoherently, muttering his name over and over again. His tongue found that sensitive spot behind my balls and pushed hard. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. But he didn't stop there.
My muscles clenched automatically when I sensed what he was about to do. He couldn't possibly want to, could he?
"Relax, Clark," he said his voice deep and sultry. He could talk the panties off a nun, I swear to God. I didn't even think about it, I just obeyed his voice.
He squeezed my ass and spread the cheeks apart. The first touch of his tongue was like a brand on my skin. I cried out as his tongue swirled around the opening. The heat spread like a fire and I couldn't seem to stop shaking. I can only imagine the sounds that must have been coming out of my mouth. They weren't words. There was barely any air. I was holding my breath as if I was waiting for something, only I didn't know what. The blood was roaring in my ears and my cock was achingly hard against my belly.
Then his tongue breached my hole and I exhaled in one long whoosh. This was it. Lex was inside me, claiming me, owning me and it was exactly what I wanted. What I needed. All of my focus was on the feel of Lex's tongue in my ass. Nothing else mattered. The pleasure pulsed through me in waves and I could feel it in every nerve of my body. Did people know how good this was? I could seriously get addicted to it.
Lex stopped and I crashed from my euphoria, groaning like a man in pain. "Wha??"
"Clark," he whispered, willing me to focus on what he was going to say. "Can I fuck you?" My stomach dropped at the words. Terror and excitement raced through me in equal parts. "I need to be inside you. I want to be part of you." His words were urgent and tender.
"Yeah. Me, too," was all I could manage.
He got off the bed and my skin felt bereft without his warmth. He hurried across the room and grabbed a bottle of hand lotion off my dresser. A going-away-to-college gift from one of Mom's aunts. I don't think I'd ever used it. I was glad now that it was here.
"We need some lubrication," he said sheepishly and grinned. I never thought I'd use the word adorable to describe Lex Luthor, but that's what he was at that moment.
He slathered some lotion on his fingertips and told me to take a deep breath. Then he pushed atwo fingers inside. I was already loose from his tongue so they went in easily. The feeling wasn't as sweet as his swirling tongue, but it was more solid, more real. He worked me until I was full of his fingers and loving the feel. He seemed to produce a condom out of thin air but I didn't care. It would be a waste of time to tell him we didn't need it. I just wanted this to begin. He spread more lotion over his sheathed cock and asked me if I was ready. I nodded and began to feel pressure against my hole; more pressure than all of his fingers. And then he was inside, just a little a bit. I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"You okay?" he asked. He was panting and his face was strained. I knew he was holding back and I loved him for it.
I nodded and he pushed again, finally sliding all the way home. It felt a little weird, but good. Lex was inside me; we were joined. I couldn't get over how right it felt. "It's like we're one person," I said. It sounded silly, but it felt true.
He smiled at me and nodded. He knew what I meant, which made me happy. Lex is the only one who ever really got me, even when I didn't say everything I should have. It was like he could read my mind or something. I realized then that I should have told him my secret years ago. "Lex, I..."
"Ssh, Clark, it's okay. There will be time for all that later." He was doing it again. It was like he could sense what I was thinking; that I wanted to confess to him. "I'm going to move now," he whispered. Then he did and the friction was amazing. I could see the muscles in Lex's neck tense. His eyes fluttered closed, as if he couldn't bear witness to this amazing thing that was happening. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
"Oh, God, Clark," he said, his voice shaky as he pushed back in. I knew just what he was feeling. I ran my hands over the smooth skin of his chest, wanting to absorb him so that he filled all of my senses. I twisted his nipples and he made a sobbing-gasping sound that sent a jolt right through me.
He hooked an arm under my leg and pushed it back against my chest. I was surprised by how strong he was. It made me trust myself more. I knew that I could let go of the control a little and he wouldn't break. When he thrust back in at this new angle, I felt something light up deep inside me and I cried out. Nothing had ever felt like this. My whole body started shaking and then I felt a hot gush between us. I was coming and Lex had never even touched my cock.
He kept fucking me right through the aftershocks and he nailed that same spot again and again. I felt like a Christmas tree getting lit up over and over again. Can a guy have multiple orgasms? I thought I could make a pretty convincing argument if I ever got my breath back. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Lex thrust hard inside me one last time and stilled. He gasped and I could feel him coming inside; marking me. His face held such deep contentment that I believed right then that I could be enough for him.
He lay down on my chest until his heartbeat slowed. I could feel it beating against me hard and strong. It made me feel safe. The rhythm of it put me to sleep.
I woke when the sunlight streamed across my face. I blinked and opened my eyes. I could still feel Lex's weight on me and I couldn't stop myself from grinning. It hadn't been a dream. I gently stroked the top of head and back. His skin was incredibly soft. He gave a complaining groan and buried his face into my neck.
"Hey, Sleepyhead," I said. I probably sounded like a dork, but I just didn't care. Lex was in my bed and he loved me. What else mattered?
"You're awfully cheerful so early in the morning," he mumbled.
"Probably `cause I got laid last night," I said, still grinning. I felt him chuckle against my neck. "I need to take a shower. Wanna join me?"
He lifted his head and looked at me incredulously. "You're kidding, right? In a dorm shower? I could just see the headlines."
"Oh, you mean, `Billionaire showers in public dorm'? " I asked, teasing him.
"No, the one I was thinking of went more like, `Lex Luthor caught sucking off his college-age boyfriend in dorm showers.' "
I felt my heart speed up a bit at the image. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
He tickled me. I laughed and slipped out from under him. "Well, I'm taking a shower," I said, grabbing a towel, my bucket of toiletries, and heading across the hall.
When I got back, he was wearing my robe and playing with my computer.
I dropped my bucket on the floor and peeked over his shoulder. "Whatcha doing?"
"Checking my email," he said, closing the program. He turned to look up at me. "My turn?" he asked as he ran his eyes over me. I blushed at the blatant hunger on his face. I felt naked even though I had a towel wrapped around my waist. "You look good fresh from a shower, Clark," he said, dropping his voice a little.
I plopped down on the bed and leaned back on my elbows. "Well, maybe if you hurry up, we could appreciate each other's post-shower freshness." Dear God, I was a complete dork. But apparently, it was okay with Lex because he was up and grabbing for the bucket.
"May I borrow your toiletries?"
"Be my guest. Towels are in the closet," I said, nodding toward the door behind him. He grabbed one and was out in the hallway.
I closed my eyes and replayed last night's events in my mind while I waited for him. I kept rewinding the part where he'd licked me ... God ... down there. Okay, my ass. He licked my ass and it felt damn good. I could certainly think it without the floor caving in.
Blood was rushing to my cock and tenting the towel. I loosened it and spread my legs. I ran my hands down my thighs toward my ass, recalling the way Lex's hands and tongue felt on me. I circled my hole with my index finger, pretending it was Lex's. A million nerve endings came alive. Having him so close made it hotter somehow. This was not something I would have ever done before, never mind thinking it was a turn-on. If he didn't get back soon, I was going to have to...
"Starting without me, Clark?"
I sat up, startled to find him casually leaning against my wall, his arms crossed. He was grinning at me. My towel had come loose and was barely covering me.
"How long have you been standing there?" I asked. I felt my face heat up.
"Don't be embarrassed, Clark. I was enjoying the show."
"Tsk, tsk, Clark. Language," he teased me.
"Shut up and get over here."
He grinned again and sauntered toward me. He moved slowly enough that I got to appreciate the glide of his hips and the movement of his stomach muscles. The sunlight reflected off of his pale skin and gave it an incandescent glow. Was there anything about this man that wasn't beautiful? I certainly didn't think so.
"What were you thinking about, Clark?" he asked when he reached the edge of the bed and slipped his legs between mine. Our knees brushed and I shivered a little. This still felt so new and a little bit unreal.
"You," I whispered.
"What about me?" he asked.
"About last night when you were..." I couldn't say it out loud. I barely managed to say it in my head.
"When I was what, Clark?"
"Licking me, you know, down there." I must have been as red as a Christmas bow.
He leaned down next to my ear and I could feel his breath against my skin. "You mean when I was tongue-fucking you?"
"Jesus, Lex!" I grabbed him by the arms and spun him around so that he was laying flat on the bed. I yanked his towel off and pushed his hands over his head. "Now you're in trouble." My own towel slid to the floor.
He raised an eyebrow. "Am I?" He sounded casual, but I could hear his heart rate picking up and his breath got shallow. "What are you going to do?"
"First," I said, leaning down to press my teeth against his chin. "I'm going to bite you here."
He moaned and bucked up. I looked up and saw an anticipatory thrill on his face. He liked being dominated. "And then what?"
"I'm going to taste you here," I said, licking a strip down his neck and swirling my tongue around the hollow at the base of his throat. My tongue continued its journey across his collarbones and moved down to his nipples.
He growled, which was the sexiest sound I ever heard. "Bite them, Clark," he ordered me and I obeyed. He arched up again, incoherent sounds coming from the back of his throat. I nibbled some more and licked my way down to his stomach. I loved the feel of his smooth skin under my tongue and his scent was intoxicating.
"I like the way you taste, Lex," I said and he groaned. Taste was a very important sense, I decided. At least it was at that moment because it felt like Lex's skin was made for my mouth. There was nothing better, not even ice cream.
Oh God. Ice cream.
"Clark? What's going on? Don't stop."
Last night, just before Lex came over, I'd had some ice cream and warmed up chocolate sauce in the microwave. "Hold on a second, Lex." I got up and opened the small door. It was still there where I'd left it. I warmed it for fifteen seconds and carried it back to the bed.
"Clark, what the hell are you doing?" Lex was apparently no longer in a fog of arousal. Too bad. He was so hot like that. Let's see if I could bring him back there.
"It's chocolate sauce, Lex. I want to lick it off you. Can I?"
His eyes opened wide in surprise.
I stuck my finger in the jar and licked it. "It's warm but not hot."
"You're crazy, you know that, right?"
I grinned at him. "Crazy for you." Then I poured a generous helping of sauce over his stomach and cock. He cried out and jumped a little. I held him down with my hand. "It's going to be great," I assured him.
He looked at his stomach and back up to my face. Then he shook his head, like he couldn't believe this was happening. I put the jar on the floor and leaned in for my first taste. I swirled some of the sauce around his belly button and he groaned a little, letting his head fall back onto the mattress. I loved that he was willing to give up control to me. It was not something Lex Luthor did and I felt honored that he trusted me.
I lapped up the chocolate from his stomach and hips. God, his hips. My hands practically engulfed them. So slender, they looked entirely too breakable until he thrust up hard, proving that he was far from delicate.
I found a few stringy drops of sauce on his balls and licked those up, too. He actually purred when I did. I avoided his cock, though, and it had the most sauce on it. A couple of times my cheek brushed against it and Lex jumped, making a strangled noise. I knew he wanted me to suck it, but he would never beg. Considering how many lovers he'd had, I was feeling pretty smug at how my touches were affecting him. He couldn't seem to stop moving and making all kinds of panting, groaning sounds.
My tongue continued its journey around every intimate spot on his body. The creases of his thighs, the spot behind his balls and even his asshole. I knew how incredible it had felt when he did it to me and I was only too happy to return the favor. Little did I know how much I was going to enjoy licking him. The pure, unadulterated scent and taste of him sent a spark through me. The whimpers coming out of his mouth charged me even more.
"Clark," he gasped and I decided he'd been tortured long enough. I grabbed hold of his legs and pulled him closer to me. I wrapped my hand around his cock and then sucked it into my mouth.
"Jesus!" he cried out, nearly coming off the bed. This being my first time sucking a guy, I was pretty proud of myself. Still, it was kind of awkward at first, but I got the hang of it after a while. I knew `cause Lex moaned and kept squirming under me. I mainly tried to imitate what he'd done to me. I used my tongue to swirl around the head and then I'd take him as deep as I could, which was pretty deep. I could tell he really liked that.
He was still moving a lot, but I could tell he was trying to hold back from thrusting too hard. I stopped sucking for a second and he looked at me desperately.
"You don't have to be careful, you know," I reassured him.
"What?" He looked confused. I think all the blood had left his brain and he couldn't really think clearly. It made me smile.
"You can be rougher. I'm not breakable." When he still looked confused, I decided to blunt. "You can fuck my mouth."
His eyes opened wide and he sat up. He grabbed onto my shoulders and pushed me into a kneeling position on the floor. He stood up in front of me and waited for me to take him into my mouth again. I guided him back in, sucking hard. He gasped and started thrusting into me, slowly at first. I held onto his hips and encouraged him to move faster. His hands wandered into my hair and he held me still.
That's when his hips really snapped into action. His movements were almost a blur and I just closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of him taking control, taking possession. I was his and he was mine. It was what I'd always wanted. Thank God I didn't have a gag reflex because he was really going to town, chanting my name over and over. He got louder and more enthusiastic as he went. I glanced up and his eyes were closed and his head was swaying from side to side. He was lost in some kind of bliss and I had helped to get him there. I was stroking my own cock to the beat of his thrusts, getting off on his enthusiasm.
He let out one last shuddering moan and then his cock was jerking inside my mouth, his come sluicing down my throat. I swallowed it all, enjoying the flavor. He lay back on the bed, sighing contentedly. My hand was still moving furiously on my cock. I stood up watching Lex, who was all flushed, laying across the bed like some kind of God. He looked all fucked out and amazingly hot. He watched me stroke myself like I was the best dessert ever. Our eyes met and he gave me such a scorching look, I feared I might set him on fire. Instead, I pulled harder on my cock and came all over his stomach and chest. I held on, riding out the convulsions until I was empty and sated.
I lay down next to him on the bed, still breathing hard. I watched him swirl his fingers through my come and then suck them into his mouth. My cock twitched painfully at the sight. He moved in close and kissed me.
"You are one hot lover, Clark Kent."
I grinned. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he assured me.
"You're not so bad yourself, Alexander Luthor," I said, trying that on for size. Our hands intertwined as he looked into my eyes. I could see how much he loved me and was amazed I could have been blind to it for so long. "So, you think I can keep you satisfied?" I teased him.
"Clark, if I was any more satisfied, I'd be dead." Laughter erupted from me. "Seriously, Clark. What I want is for you to love me and trust me."
"I do trust you, Lex. I wouldn't be here otherwise. You just have to trust me that everything you want to know will come in time."
He pondered that for a moment and then nodded, sealing the deal with a kiss.