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A Bad Idea

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A Bad Idea

by Annie

A Bad Idea

By Annie

Category: Humor
Rated: Nc-17
Summary: Clark and Lex try someplace different. Pairing: Lex/Clark

Lex was decidedly uncomfortable. Whose idea WAS this anyway? Oh, yea, Clark's. Clark, who was twisting his large muscular frame into unimaginable shapes to try and get this to work.

Lex appreciated that there was a lot to be said for enthusiasm, but his legs were really taking a beating here, along with the rest of him. The fact that he was steel-hard and covered with horny, eager male made up for it, but not enough that he didn't want to find a more comfortable place.

"Clark, I don't twist this way," Lex moaned a bit breathlessly, as a warm hand snaked around from somewhere and wrapped around his cock, thumb flicking over the head teasingly.

He heard Clark snicker knowingly as he felt the warm velvet of tongue on his throat. "You twist LOTS of ways, Lex. I've seen you."

Lex gasped audibly at sudden firm pressure, the hand holding his shaft squeezing - hard, and then disappearing below to find other places.

"I can't even reach your dick, Clark," Lex managed to say between moans. "Do we really have to do this here?"

He could feel the pout on the lips against his neck. "You said we could do it wherever I wanted, Lex. This is my vacation."

Lex almost laughed in defeat. "Yes, I did, but it's my vacation, too. Besides, there's something trying to get into my ass, and I don't think it's you."

"Hold on," Clark said, contorting around yet again to have a look, putting impossible pressure on places inside him that Lex hadn't even realized existed.

Lex's breath was knocked out of him as Clark inadvertently elbowed his stomach, trying to lever himself to get a better look.

"Better move over an inch or two, Lex, I think it's a gear shift."

Now Lex was completely exasperated. "I can't move, Clark," he started to explain patiently, "because I'm up against this - thing, whatever it is, and I don't feel like pressing any buttons accidentally. We'll get in a lot of trouble. And I don't think this thing HAS a gear shift. It's probably a cloaking device. Or a thermonuclear weapon."

"What a way to go! I think you're in enough trouble anyway," Clark told him, coming up in front of him to capture Lex's mouth in a demanding kiss. Lex was trying to insinuate his hand between them, wanted to feel Clark, to see the effect all this impromptu necking was having on his lover, but it wasn't possible. Clark was pressed too tightly against him, and Lex moved his leg fractionally, seeking and finding Clark's erection. Lex moaned again. "If I don't come pretty soon, Clark, we are out of here and back to our room," he warned.

Clark raised himself up just enough so he could reach between them and twist one of Lex's nipples roughly, tongue grazing across Lex's lips again at the same time.

Lex's hips jerked up against Clark helplessly and his body went rigid. "That's it!" he demanded, pushing against the muscular chest weighing him down into the leather seat. "Off! Back to the room! Right now!"

Clark laughed and acquiesced, moving to heave himself up off Lex and grab their clothes from behind the other leather seat where he had thrown them, but as he did so, his foot hit one of the mysterious levers on the huge, complicated-looking dashboard. There was a sudden, loud start-up sound, and they both looked up in horror. The rotors were turning.

They were scrambling now, trying to untangle themselves and getting more twisted up than they already had been. The rotors were spinning faster, and Lex was hoping the thing wouldn't just take off by itself.

"Stop," Lex yelled above the noise. "I'll get the clothes - you turn this fucking thing off before he comes down!"

Clark was trying frantically to decide which lever his foot had struck, and Lex was flinging clothes from behind the other seat when the side door was suddenly flung open, and a black-clad arm reached in and yanked down on a lever, startling Clark so that he fell back onto Lex and pressed him against the seat again, eliciting a mumbled, painful 'oof.' The rotors, thankfully, were winding down to a stop.

"What are you doing?" the deep voice rumbled at them accusingly, and Clark just knew those eyebrows were raised, even though he couldn't see them beneath Batman's cowl. "No, don't answer that. I can see what you're doing. Why are you doing it here? This is not what the copter is intended for, you know."

"Um," Clark was at a loss for words, but Lex knew Bruce for a long time, knew he could smooth things over. Also knew the distraction of two naked men in the Batcopter would keep Bruce off balance for a moment or two.

"Just wanted to see if we could manage it. Come on, Bruce. Don't tell me you've never brought a honey or two to the Batcave to show off your - etchings."

"The Batcave is off limits. You know that Lex. When I said you could bring Clark to Gotham City for a little vacation, I didn't know you intended it as a 'honeymoon.' I'm getting a bit tired of Alfred almost having heart attacks from opening doors in the mansion and finding you two 'in flagrante.' I need Alfred."

Lex smiled softly. "Sorry, Bruce. I promise, we'll keep it in our room for the rest of the week." Lex looked at Clark, who was studying Batman's outfit in amazement. Clark knew who Bruce Wayne was, of course, Lex had told him in strictest confidence, but the knowledge and the actual sight were two completely different things. He watched Clark's eyes roving over the pointy leather nipples, across the leather abs, knew he was wondering what the flesh beneath looked like, and if the suit approximated the real thing even vaguely. Clark's eyes drifted down to the codpiece, stopping momentarily before continuing down the muscular legs. Lex was amused, leaned forward and rapped the codpiece irreverently with his knuckles, making Bruce jump back in surprise.

Lex smiled. Yea, he knew Bruce a long time. He watched Clark lick his lips minutely. "So, Bruce," Lex challenged. "As long as you're already wearing the leathers, why don't we try the Batboat. It seats three, right?"