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Identity Crisis

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Identity Crisis

by HYPERFocused

http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=hyperfocused


"So what are your plans Saturday night?" Pete asked Clark, late on Thursday evening.

"Saturday? I don't know. Probably getting ready for finals. Why?" Clark answered.

"Clark, you've been here almost a semester, and you've spent almost all of it studying." Pete's voice was indignant, as if he thought this was as great a sin as say, sacrificing goats for Satan. "And when you aren't hitting the books, you're off with Lex somewhere, doing God knows what - and God knows I don't want to know." This, he said like Clark was sacrificing kids. The human kind.

"I don't have that football scholarship anymore, Pete. I have to study to keep my grades up."

"We both know you read through those textbooks in like ten minutes. Dickwad." Pete's language since coming back from Kansas city had taken a turn for the worse, Clark thought.

"Well, yeah, but studying's more than memorizing the textbooks. I've got to write, and actually think about what I've read." Clark protested. "Anyway, I thought you were over your thing against Lex."

Pete sighed. "I am, mostly. Sometimes I don't know what's weirder. Your big secret, or your other big secret."

"I know. Thanks for keeping them both."

"Yeah. You know, this isn't Smallville. People might not freak if you told them you were - you know."

"An alien from the planet Krypton?"

"No, Clark." Pete rolled his eyes. "The other thing."

"Pete, you're my oldest friend. If you can't say the word `bisexual', what makes you think anyone else at Met U will feel differently?"

"It's not that. I just never could see how anyone who had the thing for Lana you did, could suddenly be all about Lex."

"That's what bisexual means, Pete. Besides, Lana was just a crush. What I have with Lex is real."

"If he cared about you as much as you say he does, he wouldn't want you holed up in your dorm, either. Where is he, anyway?"

"Tokyo, I think."

"That's on an entirely different continent. I think you're safe to go out and have a little fun. It's not like he was a choirboy when he was in college. He might have been doing choirboys for all I know..." Pete said this last line under his breath, but of course Clark heard it loud and clear.

"Pete! Lex isn't some kind of - child molester. That's horrible!"

"Well, no. But he was sure after you, even when you were, what, fifteen?"

"We don't know how old I really am. Besides, I didn't look fifteen, did I?"

"That's not the point."

"What is the point, then?" Clark was getting exasperated.

"The point is, I've finally got a date with Becca Jourgensen, and it's going to look bad for me if my bigger, buffer roommate she has a crush on is in the room doing his European History."

"Becca, `Jugs' Jourgensen?" Hey, Clark hadn't made up the nickname. "She has a crush on me?"

"Yeah, and I can't exactly tell her she doesn't have a chance, now can I? Not until you exit that remarkably tackily filled closet of yours. You know, you're a pretty shoddy dresser for someone who rides both sides of the fence."

"And you're pretty wardrobe obsessed for a straight guy."

"Nothing wrong with having some style, Clark. I'd have thought that part of Lex might rub off on you."

"I like being comfortable. Anyway, Becca? I thought you had better standards than that."

"Clark, I'm an eighteen year old guy. I can't afford standards."

"Oh. So basically, you don't care what I do, you just want me to do it somewhere else tonight."

"Since you put it that way... No, I do care. But I really could use the room to myself tonight. Maybe you could slip home for a while?"

"We'll see. Don't worry, I'll find somewhere to be."

Despite knowing he could do what he wanted, Clark called Lex anyway, to tell him what Pete had suggested. He half wanted Lex to say he couldn't go, but he knew Lex wouldn't do that.

"Clark, you're in college. You should have fun while you still can. Go, dance. Cut loose. As long as you don't go home wih anybody, I won't care. Besides, somebody should be having some fun. I wish I could."

"Boring meetings, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it."

"I wish you were here with me." Clark lowered his voice, putting on the dark tone that he knew got Lex hot.

"Me, too, Clark. You have no idea how much. But I've got to go, I'm sorry."

"I'll see you Sunday, then," Clark said, disappointedly.

"I can't wait."

The Metropolis club he'd decided to go to (popular with gay and straight couples, Chloe had told him, remembering it from her Daily Planet internship days) was four hours away from Smallville, and therefore extremely unlikely to have his mom and dad walk in on a whim. Not that they'd have a reason to visit a dance club.

So far, they'd never even visited the city without telling - warning - him ahead of time, giving him and Pete time enough to straighten up their rat hole of a dorm room, and pretend to be studying.

Chloe had made him use the camera phone Lex had given him to take pictures of his wardrobe, rejecting item after item until she'd put together something she said was suitable.

"You should let Lex dress you," she said, in perfect imitation of Pete.

"I'm not a Ken doll. I do all right."

"Yeah, I know. At least I'm pretty sure you're fully funcitional, or Lex wouldn't be interested."

"Chloe!"

"What? It's not like I haven't known for years."

"Can we not talk about this?"

"Sure, Clark. But just know that when and if you do decide to reveal your big secret, I'll be there for you, just like I always have."

"Um, thanks, I think. I've got to go." Clark felt oddly uncomfortable.

Wearing the distressed black jeans and dark green shirt Chloe had picked out, Clark walked into the club, already sure he was going to feel awkward and bored, but determined to at least try to have a good time. Looking around the well-packed room, he was surprised to find evidence that this was a distinct possibility.

Clark didn't know what the hell kind of game Lex was playing, or why, but he wasn't going to be the one to ruin it. So when he saw Lex, dressed up like some ridiculous frat-boy, in jeans and a sweatshirt and a god-awful mouse-brown wig, he pretended not to recognize him.

He was apparently pretending to be a very open minded frat boy, from the way he headed over towards the corner of the club in which Clark was doing his `lets pretend I have rhythm, but I'm really just swaying in place' thing, and said "So, do you dance, or do you just stand there hoping the Abercrombie and Fitch people will come in and recruit you?"

"Yeah, I dance."

"Well?"

`No, not very well," Clark admitted.

"I meant, `well, do you want to?'"

"I would, but my boyfriend's very jealous, and very powerful."

"Hey, I'm pretty powerful, too. I'm president of the house of cock."

"I'll just bet you are." Clark almost lost it then, breaking of into laughter. Lex was doing a very good job of being crude, entirely unlike his usual self. Clark loved it when Lex got playful.

"Kappa Omnicrom Kappa. The coolest fraternity. Why haven't you pledged?"

"I don't think we've got those at Met U. Besides, I'm not really the Greek type."

"I beg to differ," `Adam' said, moving closer and putting a hand on Clark's thigh. "Your dick seems to differ, too."

`Point taken. But you really don't want to get my boyfriend angry."

"I don't see your boyfriend here, do you?"

"How would you know?" Clark played along.

"Uptight? Wears a suit? Boring but important job?"

Clark didn't even bother looking around. Lex was supposed to be in Japan, but had obviously come back early to surprise him. "No, he's stuck in a business meeting, I think. And he's not uptight."

"Well, he's a jerk, then. Neglecting a hot guy like you. That should be a crime."

"Sounds like you want to cure my loneliness." God, Clark was enjoying Lex's little role-playing game. A lot more than when they did Alexander and Hephaestion. Sure, the historical stuff was cool, but sometimes Lex's wannabe professor side got in the way of the sex. Luckily, Clark had many pleasurable ways of stopping the lecture in midstream when it seemed like Lex was going to want him to take notes. His favorite was sucking him into incoherence.

"Fuck, yeah." Adam moved in even closer, grinding against Clark like they were somewhere a lot more private. Which was a good idea, Clark thought.

"You wanna go somewhere a little more private?" Clark asked.

"I like you fine right here," `Adam' said, reaching a hand between them - a difficult maneuver considering how close they were - to reach inside Clark's jeans.

"Fuck. I'm not an exhibitionist."

"Looks like you're doing a fine job of displaying yourself to me." `Adam' stroked Clark's erection, already leaking through his boxers. "But all right, if you want privacy... come on." He led Clark off of the dance floor, and into a darkened corridor.

It wasn't real privacy, just the cover that came from darkness and a lot of people pretending not to know what you were doing in it. Clark knew that, but somehow that just made it more exciting.

It was amazing how good Lex was at being someone else. He shoved Clark up against the hallway wall, and kissed him. It was an excellent performance. It hardly even felt like Lex usually did. There was something just a little bit off. Clark couldn't put his finger on it.

"You're so hard for me, aren't you?" `Adam' said, sinking to his knees. "I'm going to suck you." He used his teeth to unbutton Clark's jeans, his breath making Clark's already overheated cock even warmer.

Clark gasped when Lex's mouth made a tightly welcoming cavern around him. "Fuck, Lex. You know I'm always hard for you."

He moaned in disappointment when it stopped. "Lex isn't here, Clark. I am."

"Adam. Right. I'm sorry. God, please..."

"That's better." `Adam' praised him, backing up his words by swallowing Clark as deep as he would go. It felt amazing. And with Lex's - Adam's - disguise, Clark could do something he'd never been able to do before.

He gripped `Adam's' hair as `Adam' sucked him, pulling just a little too hard as he came. But instead of feeling Lex's truly awful wig in his hand, he just felt a few strands, and heard a voice say "Fuck, Clark. That hurt! Hasn't anyone taught you not to yank like that?"

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. "Oh my God. Oh my God.." There was no way this was happening. Lex would never understand. And Clark couldn't not tell him. They'd promised each other honesty from now on. "You're not Lex."

"I told you that from the beginning." Adam - that apparently really was his name - confirmed.

"But you knew I thought you were my boyfriend. Why didn't you let me know the truth?"

"Look at you, man. What kind of idiot would give up a chance to have you over some stupid thing like a name mix-up?"

Clark blushed. "But I don't - I wouldn't have..." He slid down the wall and put his head on his knees. How the hell could things have gone so wrong? He should have just gone to see his folks. Clark felt even more disgusted with himself for thinking about his parents at a time like this. They would be so ashamed. He wondered if his father had a parable for when you had sex with a stranger you thought was your boyfriend. He hoped the hell not.

"So I take it the fun part of my evening is over, isn't it?" Adam asked ruefully.

"Only if you want it to be, right Clark?" A well loved rough-hewn voice said. Clark looked up to see Lex - his Lex - standing over him.

"Lex? Oh my God. What are you doing here? I'm so sorry. I thought..." Clark didn't know what to say.

"You thought he was me. I know." Lex sat down next to him, ignoring the grimy floor and the harm it would do his expensive suit. "It's okay."

"How did you get here?"

"I came home early. When I called your dorm, Pete told me where you were, so I decided to surprise you. I guess we both got a surprise."

"How much did you see?"

"Enough to know how much you were enjoying yourself."

"I'm sorry, Lex. Really."

"No, it's okay. I liked seeing you that way. You wanted it to be me."

"Ahem." Clark looked up to see Adam standing over them, clearing his throat. "You're Lex Luthor."

"I would have thought that was obvious."

"I admit, this wasn't how I'd expected to meet you." Adam held out his hand. "We have an interview scheduled Monday. That's why I'm in Metropolis. The LexCorp internship." He shrugged. "I guess I've blown my chances."

"Interesting choice of words, there, Adam. `Blown'." Lex reached into his pocket and handed Adam a business card. "Meet at us at this address at midnight, and we'll see. And this has nothing to do with the internship. You'll have to wait for the interview for that. I trust you won't be indulging in this kind of behavior on the job, if I decide to hire you."

"No, of course not. Wait. You're serious?"

"I never joke about business, or sex. But if you'd like to send your `friend' over instead, that would be fine," Lex said mysteriously, and Adam was the one who flushed now.

"What are you talking about, Lex?" Clark wondered. Lex just shushed him.

"I don't know what you mean..." Adam started.

"Adam, I make it a point to learn all I can about possible new employees. And I don't much like liars." Clark could attest to that. "Now do we have an understanding?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. We'll see you soon. Come on, Clark. Let's go."

They'd settled in at Lex's penthouse, Lex with a brandy, and Clark with a coke. Despite Clark's repeated queries, Lex hadn't told him what to expect when Adam showed up later. If he showed up.

They'd never done anything like this before. Their sex life had always just involved the two of them, even when they were playing other people. But if that's what Lex wanted, if that's what made him okay with what had happened between Clark and Adam, who was Clark to argue?

"But why midnight?" Clark tried, one more time, just as the clock was striking twelve.

"Because that is when frat-boys turn into princesses," Lex said, going to open the door. It wasn't Adam waiting there, Clark was surprised to find. Instead, it was an attractive young woman, with shoulder length red hair, and a curvy figure. But it didn't take x-ray vision to see the man underneath.

"Clark, meet Adina," Lex said, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

God, this was weird, but hot. `Adina' looked just like Clark expected Lex would, as a woman. It was something he'd never imagined before, but now he couldn't get the thought out of his mind.

"She's a beautiful woman, isn't she Clark?" Lex asked. "Why don't you kiss her?"

"Are you sure?" Clark asked uneasily.

"Very sure. Besides, Clark. You were raised to return the favor when someone does something good for you. And Adam was very good, wasn't he?"

"Yes, he was. So, um, I should kiss her?" He felt so out of his element. This was probably old hat to Lex, who had a wealth of experiences Clark could only begin to imagine. But Clark had mostly been with Lex, even the summer he ran away (the one they didn't talk about) he'd never been with anyone like Adina.

"It's a good place to start. Why don't you try it, and see where things go?" Lex told him. He settled back on the leather sofa to watch as they did.

Adina's lip-gloss tasted like cherry vanilla ice-cream, sweet and cloying. It reminded him of Lana, though she would have been shocked to the core to see him in this situation. And really, thinking of her now wasn't helping at all.

"Why don't you take off her blouse, Clark? I bet she's got lovely lingerie. Wouldn't you like to show it off, Adina?"

Clark's hands felt huge as they fumbled her tiny buttons open, revealing a red satin bra. Adina shrugged out of her skirt, as well, showing off matching panties. The formidable erection trapped by the shiny material was like the toy in a cereal box. An added bonus to a delicious treat.

"God, Lex. Don't you want to join us?" Clark gasped.

"I will soon. I'm enjoying the show for now."

"What do you want me to do next?" Clark asked. He needed the directions.

"I want you to suck her pretty little cock, Clark. That is what you want, right, Adina? Those full, red cocksucker lips around you?"

"Hey, watch it with the `little'. But fuck yeah, that's what I want."

"All right then, Clark. But slowly. I want the show to last. And take off your clothes." Lex ordered him, and Clark obeyed, stripping quickly, then getting down to work.

If Clark had been confused about Adam' - Adina's -identity, once he saw his cock, he would have realized they couldn't be the same person. He would know Lex's gorgeous, smooth erection anywhere, and this definitely wasn't it. Not that Clark wasn't enjoying himself with Adam, but it just wasn't the same.

Still, Clark took his time swallowing Adina down, savoring the different tastes and textures: crisp hairs where he usually felt warm flesh. He gasped around his prize when he felt Lex behind him, a cool lubed finger pressed inside him, helping to open him up. One was soon followed by two and three, and then Lex's perfect, beloved cock found its way home.

Then Adina came, hot and pulsing down Clark's throat. When Adina pulled away, Clark would have collapsed, if Lex hadn't been gripping his hips so tightly as he drove into Clark's ass. It was glorious. He'd never been filled like that before.

A dozen more strokes of Lex's cock inside him, and Lex's hand on Clark's erection, and they both came, Lex following right behind him. Adina let herself out quietly, knowing when she would be a third wheel. Hopefully, the job would be a lock.

The night had been nothing if not educational, and hopefully, there would be more such fun to follow. Clark was in college now, and there were all sorts of new experiences to be had - if he was very lucky..