Clark remembers exactly where he was when he found out Lex was alive.
He was walking through the kitchen, heading out to do his chores, when the phone rang.
``Clark! It's Chloe! Le...''
Clark laughed. ``I think I can recognize your voice Chloe.''
He realizes now how stupid he sounded. He should have just shut up.
``Clark, shut up! It's Lex! Lex is alive!'' The rest of what she said was lost in the phone line because all he could hear was the blood pounding in his head and her words repeating over and over again. LexisaliveLexisaliveLexisalive.
His Mom took the phone from him then because he was standing there not saying anything. He probably had a pretty stunned look on his face. His stomach was somewhere on the floor and his heart was racing like a sprinter who'd just finished a run.
``Clark, are you alright?'' she asked, but he couldn't answer. He knows that she talked to Chloe but he doesn't know what was said. It was all a blur.
After hanging up the phone, his Mom led him to a chair so he could sit. ``Clark, are you okay? You look a little pale, sweetie.''
``I know, honey. It's a shock. You heard what Chloe said, right?''
He nodded. ``Just, uh, that Lex is alive.''
``That's right. He's in the hospital in Metropolis. He's dehydrated, has sun poisoning and is recovering from malaria. They're running tests to see if there are any other problems. They expect him home in a couple days.''
Clark stood up abruptly, his senses seemingly snapping back into some semblance of order. ``I have to go see him, Mom.''
But she was shaking her head. ``No, honey, you can't. His father isn't allowing visitors.''
``I could get in.''
``I know you could, Clark, but we don't know how bad Lex's health is right now. He needs some time to rest.''
``But I need to see him, Mom. I need to.''
``I know you do, but I think you should wait.''
So Clark waited. It went against every grain, every instinct, but he waited. And he paced. He couldn't concentrate in school. He did his chores by rote. He thought he might scream from frustration. Clark counted the hours until Lex came home and he wondered what he was going to say when he saw him.
He wanted to apologize for missing the wedding; for not being there when Lex needed him. There might have been something he could have done. Maybe he would have seen something to tell him what Helen had been planning. He wanted to kill her, but she'd fled when she heard the news about Lex. The police had caught her about a hundred miles outside of town. She'd been very publicly arrested.
Clark was left with this huge ball of anger and lots of guilt. He wanted to tell Lex how much he'd missed him, even when he was on the red meteor rock. He wanted to tell Lex he'd been to his funeral and had felt this empty place growing inside of him. But mostly, he wanted to tell Lex that he loved him. He was ready to admit that now. He didn't care what it cost him. Everything he'd done in the last few months had been selfish. Now he needed to make reparations. He prayed that Lex would forgive him.
The day Lex arrived back in Smallville, word spread like wildfire. Chloe called right after he got home from school. Clark thanked her and sped over to the mansion. He knocked on the door, not sure if he was welcome to just walk in anymore.
One of the servants opened the door. When he saw Clark, he nodded and gestured for him to come in. Clark walked down the hall and into the office.
Lex was sitting in front of the fire, a drink in his hand. He rose when Clark came in. He looked thinner and his skin was darker than usual, covered in splotchy red marks and bruises. He looks worn out, Clark thought. But it was still Lex, and Clark was so happy to see him that he wanted to grab him and give him a big hug.
``I'm surprised to see you, Clark,'' Lex said. Even his voice was different. Deeper and kind of scratchy. And he didn't sound happy to see Clark. He seemed...indifferent, and that made Clark panic.
``What do you mean, Lex? I came over as soon as I heard you were back. I really miss...''
``Why didn't you come see me in Metropolis?''
Damn it! Mistake, mistake, mistake. I should have gone. I'll never listen to my mother again.
``They said you weren't allowed visitors, Lex.''
``That kind of thing never stopped you before.'' Lex sounded sad and resigned, as if Clark's actions, or non-actions, had been expected, despite hoping for more.
Oh Jeez, this is going badly. So badly. Find a way to change it.
``I'm sorry, Lex. I really wanted to come. My Mom said you needed to rest and that I should wait.''
``It's okay, Clark. I understand.'' But Clark was pretty sure he didn't understand at all. Lex took a sip of his drink and walked over to his desk, sitting in the chair behind it. The distance between them was growing the by second.
``Lex, look, there are some things I wanted to say before I...''
``I'm sorry, Clark. I'm still a bit fatigued. Could we do this tomorrow?''
Oh God, this is bad. I can't leave here with Lex disappointed in me. Not after all the months of thinking he was dead and then the days of practicing what to say. I just can't.
``Lex, please, don't make me leave. I really need to...'' he paused and took a deep breath. ``There are some things I really need to say. And if you want me to go after that, I'll leave. I promise. But please, just let me say something first.''
Lex steepled his fingers together and looked up at Clark expectantly. Clark breathed a sigh of relief.
``I'm sorry I wasn't there for your wedding. It was really selfish of me. Maybe if I'd been there, I could have done something. I don't know. But I should have been there and I wasn't. And then I left town before...before I even heard about what happened. If I had known, maybe I could have tried to find you. I'm sorry that I didn't try.''
Clark was talking so fast, he was almost short of breath. Lex just sat and watched him impassively. This isn't working. He's not hearing me. Clark walked closer to the desk.
``Mostly, though, I'm sorry that I never told you how I feel about you.'' Lex's expression changed at that. His eyes expressed more interest and curiosity about those few words than anything else Clark had said since arriving. Clark walked around the desk and faced Lex, who turned toward him.
``After my Dad brought me home and it began to sink in that you were really gone, I spent every day regretting that I'd never told you that I love you. `Cause I do, Lex.'' Clark felt himself relax a little as this burden was lifted off his shoulders.
Lex looked intrigued but wary, as if he'd imagined what Clark had said. ``What exactly do you mean by that, Clark? Because that could be interpreted in a couple of different ways.''
``I mean it in whatever way you need to hear it, Lex.''
Lex shook his head. ``I'm not going to let you get away with that, Clark.'' He stood up then and put his hands on Clark's shoulders. ``Tell me.''
He's touching me. Oh God, I might be doing this thing right after all.
``You're my best friend, Lex,'' he said, as if that explained everything.
``Is that it?'' Lex's hands dropped away and he stepped back.
Clark felt his heart tightening in his chest.
``No! That's part of it but it's not all of it. I love you like a best friend and like a...'' Shit. He couldn't think of the right words. He was going to say, ``like I thought I loved Lana,'' but that wouldn't sound right.
``...lover?'' Lex offered, his voice low and his eyes sparkling with barely-controlled sensuality. He hadn't seen Lex look like this since...since Desiree. Lex was looking at Clark like he wanted just wanted to devour him. He felt tingling in the pit of his belly. Lex wants me, he thought, and felt stupid for not having realized it before.
``Yes,'' he whispered, and moved right into Lex's personal space. In one fluid movement, he tilted his head and Lex melted against him, pressing their lips together. And Clark's hands were coming around Lex's too-thin body, pulling him closer and reveling in the feel and scent of him.
He felt Lex's hands in his hair and suddenly it was all too real. Lex wasn't dead. Lex was here, and touching him. And Lex wanted him. He felt like his heart might burst. Clark pulled back just as a painful sob tore out of him. But he wasn't going to cry. He couldn't. Lex was alive. There was no reason to cry.
``Hey. Hey, it's okay, Clark,'' Lex soothed him, touching his cheek. ``Everything's going to be okay. You just gave me the best homecoming present I could have ever hoped for. Imagining something just like this kept me going on that island.''
``God, Lex, I'm so sorry I waited until you were dead to realize how much you mean to me.''
Lex laughed and kissed him again. Then he grew serious. ``I want you in my bed, Clark. Are you ready for that?''
Clark blushed and nodded. ``I've been ready for a long time, Lex.''
Lex was unbuttoning Clark's shirt slowly; much too slowly. Clark stood there in the middle of the bedroom, dying to be out of his clothes and under Lex, but Lex had other ideas. Like killing him with anticipation.
``Lex,'' he whimpered and was rewarded with soft lips against his collarbone. Lex was working on Clark's last button. ``Can't we go a little faster?''
``No, Clark. I want to savor this, savor you. I have imagined this for too long to rush through it,'' Lex said. The heat in his voice was like a caress.
Lex could seduce anyone, Clark thought, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. Lex finally slipped the shirt off his shoulders and Clark let it slide to a puddle on the floor. Then he felt Lex's hands all over his chest and stomach, setting his nerves on fire.
``Oh God, Lex,'' he breathed. Lex's mouth covered one of his nipples, making him groan. This is torture.
``Do you want me to stop?'' Lex asked.
Did I say that out loud? ``No!'' He opened his eyes to see that Lex was smiling mischievously.
Lex's mouth moved in again, licking a path down his torso. He could feel Lex's heated breath on his stomach, and Lex's hands on the waistband of his jeans. He thought his knees would surely buckle.
Lex undid his pants and Clark knew he had to see what was happening. He looked down to see Lex's tongue snake out and touch the head of his cock. He made a strangled sound in his throat and his hips thrust forward, seemingly of their own accord. Clark had never been so turned on in his life. Not all the times he kissed Lana, not even the times he'd pressed up against those Metropolis women when he was on red meteor rock.
There was something between him and Lex that went beyond friendship; beyond sex. He'd thought it was there before, but now he knew it deep in his bones. A connection. A destiny. Something eternal.
He felt Lex's hands cover his ass possessively and then his cock was engulfed in heat and wetness. He cried out and then Lex was coaxing him to thrust. He moved tentatively at first, but Lex pulled him in harder and looked up at him with eyes full of lust and longing.
His nipples, like his cock, were painfully hard, stimulated by the cool air floating through the mansion. Lex's hands moved over his ass, squeezing and pulling, making him feel owned. And he liked that more than he expected. He wanted to belong to Lex.
Clark let himself fall into bliss, pistoning in and out of Lex's mouth. He mumbled Lex's name over and over, driving himself into heat again and again until he came, feeling like it would never end.
When he opened his eyes again, he was lying on the soft rug and looking up at the ceiling. How had he managed to get down here without falling? Lex leaned over him, smiling. Clark was still breathing hard and couldn't think of a thing to say. He was pretty sure his brain was fried due to lack of oxygen.
``Why don't we move this to the bed so we can be more comfortable?'' Lex asked, grinning.
``The bed? More?'' Clark asked, his brain still not quite operating on full thrusters. Lex reached for his hand and helped him up. They made their way over to the bed. Lex's bed. It was huge and had shiny royal purple sheets on it. They looked incredibly soft and slippery and sexy...
``It's silk, Clark,'' Lex said, apparently noticing that Clark was staring at the bed. And his voice was as seductive as the sheets. Then he fell back on the bed, spreading his arms as he went. He looked like a pale, bald angel with purple wings and it made Clark's heart skip a beat.
``Lex, my god, you're so...''
Lex reached for his hand and tugged it. ``Why don't you join me?'' And then Clark was tumbling on top of Lex. He caught himself with his free arm, not wanting to crush him. He shimmied a little so more of his weight was on the bed and started kissing Lex again. Tongues and teeth came into play and Clark was trying very hard to unbutton Lex's shirt with one hand.
``Undress me, Clark,'' Lex whispered, when they stopped to breathe.
``God, Lex.'' Clark got up on his knees, straddling Lex's thighs. His hands shook a little as he undid the buttons. He still couldn't quite believe that this was happening. That he was here, touching Lex. Just yesterday, they'd believed he was dead. Lex lay there passively, his arms spread out in blissful surrender. Every time Clark's hand brushed his skin, Lex shuddered.
When the shirt fell open, Clark leaned over and pressed kisses across the skin of Lex's chest, stopping at a nipple to taste. Lex arched into his tongue and groaned. Clark was amazed at how responsive Lex was and that he was the one making it happen.
Clark's mouth moved down his belly, circling his belly button. His fingers scrabbled at Lex's pants. Lex moved to sit up, but before Clark could wonder what he was doing, Lex was laying flat on the bed and his shirt was tossed aside. ``Please continue, Clark,'' he said, indicating Clark's struggle with his pants. The words sounded almost businesslike, but the tone was all heat. Clark felt it in the pit of his stomach.
Clark finally got the pants open and started to tug them down. Lex lifted his ass helpfully and Clark pulled them off, slipping them down Lex's pale, muscular legs. He tore off Lex's shoes and socks along the way.
``In a hurry, Clark?'' Lex teased playfully.
``To have you naked? Yes,'' Clark said, grinning. He raked his eyes appreciatively over Lex's skin. ``You're so beautiful, Lex. I can't believe you're really here. That we're here together. God, I missed you so damn much,'' Clark said, almost choking on the words.
``Ssh,'' Lex soothed him, rubbing a hand up and down Clark's arm. ``It's all going to be okay. Come here.'' He eased Clark back into his arms, so they were pressed against each other, skin to skin, kissing languorously as if they had all the time in the world to enjoy it.
Clark's hands could not get enough of Lex's skin. They roamed and caressed the milky expanse, memorizing indents and curves. There was no hair to impede his progress and Clark thought it was like touching pure silk. Clark's hand covered Lex's rigid cock, eliciting a quiet gasp. He touched the smooth skin of Lex's balls and perineum.
``This is so cool,'' he said against Lex's mouth.
``What? The naked touching or something else?''
Clark chuckled. ``Yeah, that, but I meant the no-hair thing. It's pretty wild.''
``I'm glad you like it,'' Lex said, sighing pleasurably.
``What should we do?''
``I like what you're doing now,'' Lex said, shivering.
Clark blushed and smiled. ``You want me to just use my hand until you...''
``We can do whatever you want, Clark.'' And that voice again. Low and seductive. It sent delicious shivers through him.
``God, Lex, you have no idea what you do to me.''
Lex reached down between them and grabbed Clark's newly burgeoning erection. ``I think I'm getting a clue,'' he said, and squeezed, causing Clark to gasp. ``The feeling is mutual, by the way.''
``Oh, Lex,'' Clark said, and they were kissing again. Deep, hungry kisses that set Clark's every nerve on edge. He was tingling with anticipation and he wanted to do something.
``I just want to...could we?'' He used his big hands to grab Lex's ass and move their bodies so that he was flat on the bed with Lex atop him. He pulled Lex against him at the same time he thrust his hips up. They both gasped into the next kiss.
``Wait, Clark. Wait,'' Lex said, breaking the kiss. He moved quickly to the nightstand and pulled out a tube. He squeezed some liquid into his hands and spread it over both their cocks. ``It'll go easier this way,'' he said, as Clark moaned under his ministrations.
``Are we going to...'' Clark started, but couldn't say the words.
Luckily, Lex caught on. ``No, Clark,'' he said, lowering himself slowly down, letting his cock slide into the groove of Clark's hip. ``I'm going to press, oh, right here,'' Lex whispered, demonstrating, snapping his hips against Clark. ``And you're going to thrust up, yeah, like that. And we're going to keep doing that until we come.'' Every other word out of Lex's mouth was punctuated by a kiss to Clark's neck or a breath in his ear.
Holy crap, Clark thought. If he wasn't already lying down, he would have fallen.
``Have you ever done this before, Clark?'' Lex asked, his lips against Clark's collarbone while his hips continued undulating.
``Um, not without clothes,'' Clark managed. Barely.
Lex let out a long satisfied sigh as he continued moving. Clark thought he'd say more but he fastened his mouth on Clark's nipple instead. Clark cried out in surprise and began to thrust faster. Everywhere Lex's skin touched his, it prickled and burned in a good way. It made him feel alive and aware of every nerve in his body. He never knew sex, making love, could feel this good. He imagined it, of course, but nothing had prepared him for this intensity. It was as if he and Lex were merging into one sexual being.
``Oh God, Lex. It's so good. It's...it feels too good,'' Clark said before Lex devoured his mouth, licking and tasting his lips like Clark was his last meal on earth.
They settled into a pattern of give and take, thrust and jerk, push and pull as if they'd invented the dance. They were panting so hard that even kissing was difficult. They slid against other on beads of lube and sweat, imprinting their scents on each other.
Lex's eyes were closed, his mouth slack, his glistening head held back. He looked rapturous and beautiful and Clark was never more in love with him than he was at that moment. Lex was alive; he'd come back to Clark and Clark was never going to let words go unsaid between them again.
``Lex, Lex,'' he said, panting. ``I love you, Lex. I love you.''
Lex opened his eyes and Clark saw the love written there. Then he shuddered and jerked and Clark could feel wet heat spurting across his belly and chest and it was incredibly good. The shuddering seemed to go on and on as Lex held himself over Clark on shaky arms. Lex wasn't moving anymore but Clark was and he'd never in life wanted to come so badly.
``Clark.'' Lex's voice sounded drained. I did that, Clark thought to himself, pleased. He smiled up at a sated Lex, grabbed hold of his firm ass and drove himself hard into the sweet hollow at Lex's hip.
Lex gasped in surprise and draped himself across Clark's chest as the thrusting continued. Clark shuddered at the feel of Lex's lips against his neck.
``Lex,'' Clark groaned. ``Lex, kiss me.'' Lex lifted his head and looked at Clark. ``I want to come with your mouth on mine.''
Lex's eyes opened wide, as if he was surprised such words could come from Clark. And then he was all lips and tongue, invading Clark's mouth.
Clark felt it everywhere all at once. In the clash of their mouths, in the slide of their skin and the press of his cock against Lex. The pressure inside him was amazing and he felt like he was about to explode. He was riding the crest of a wave that seemed to get impossibly higher. How could anything feel this good?
The tingling started in thighs, which were shaking, and traveled up to his spine, his nipples and his cock seemingly all at once. He went careening over the edge, choking out Lex's name. He shuddered with aftershocks and let his hands fall to the bed.
Lex moved off of him, but stayed close while he caught his breath.
``Jesus, Lex, that was...''
``Amazing? Incredible? Life-altering? Stop me when I get to the right word,'' Lex teased with a smug grin on his face.
Clark whacked him playfully. ``Shut up.''
Lex laughed and kissed him again. Now that he was breathing normally again, Clark could enjoy it and he wrapped an arm around Lex's neck to make sure the kiss didn't end too soon.
``Mmmm. I like the way you kiss me,'' Clark said a few minutes later.
Lex grinned and then sobered when he looked at Clark. ``Is something wrong?''
``No. It's just that I look at you and I'm so grateful. I still can't get over the fact that you're here. You're alive. God, I was so empty when I thought you were dead, Lex. `'
Lex stroked his face and kissed his forehead. ``It's okay. Everything's okay now. Nothing's going to come between us again.''
Clark smiled and looked at Lex sheepishly. ``We're...we're lovers, Lex. I never thought it would happen.''
``Neither did I, Clark. And you need to know something.''
``What?'' Clark asked, feeling nervous.
``Before, when you said you loved me, I wanted to say it, too, but I was kind of...''
``...too busy coming your brains out?'' Clark said, laughing.
Lex gave him an insulted look. ``You are entirely too smug for a seventeen-year-old who just lost his virginity.''
``Well, I learned from the best,'' Clark said, looking pointedly at Lex.
``You're saying I'm smug?''
``You could teach classes.''
``Are you implying that my smugness is undeserved?'' Lex asked, teasing him.
``Oh, it's most definitely deserved,'' Clark said, tracing a finger down Lex's chest. ``So deserved, in fact, I wouldn't mind another demonstration of why.''
Lex smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Clark groaned happily and wrapped his arms around Lex.