Disclaimers: I do not profit in any way from my obsession with Smallville.
Spoilers: All Episodes (just to be safe).
Ratings Note: NC-17
Summary: Guilt and angst lead Clark unwittingly into the sick games that Luthors play. Written for my beloved nerodi's birthday. So, with that in mind, I must also issue a non-con warning. Acknowledgements: Thanks to velvetglove, Stone Princess, and shaggirl for beta. Any lingering mistakes, etc, are mine and mine alone.
The muses would like to thank the following musical inspiration:
Jennifer Niceley, Grandmother Moon
Alanis Morrissette, That I Would Be Good Dido, White Flag
Cry Cry Cry, I Know What Kind Of Love This Is Tori Amos, Another Girl's Paradise
Dedication: To nerodi for her birthday. * nerodi*, may this year bring you the greatest joy that your heart desires. I really hope that this story hits the spot and I apologize in advance for my romantic streak. All my love and always--Rhi.
Feedback: I accept criticism as well as joyful squees.
Clark climbed into the limo after Lucas and settled himself in a corner. Lucas sat across from him, with his back to the driver, stretching his arms over the back of the seat, and smiled slowly.
"Ridden in a limo before, Kent?"
Clark nodded. Lex had sent the limo to Smallville for him fairly often over the summer while he was in Metropolis. They'd managed to convince his parents that they would do nothing wilder than see movies, play video games and go to museums. So far, Lex had kept his word, much to Clark's disappointment. And while he had plenty of regrets from the prior summer, he remembered the mindless fun he'd had in Metropolis while jacked up on Red Kryptonite. He continued to hope that Lex would give in to his continual requests that Lex take him to a trendy club for dancing and drinks.
Clark glanced over at Lucas who was smirking out the window as the yellow farmhouse slipped away. He really wished that Lex had let him know that Lucas was going to be joining him on this trip--maybe he would have begged off and asked to come up another weekend. Apparently Lucas was not only going to be sharing his limo ride, but was going to be in Metropolis this weekend, too. He'd be there swaggering around, taking Lex's attention, pushing Lex's buttons and Clark wasn't very happy about it.
"Want a drink?" Lucas held up a bottle of scotch and a glass.
Clark's mouth watered. It had been a year since he had a real drink; the beers that he and Pete smuggled out of their dads' stash were nothing like the beautiful, burning liquids he'd consumed in Metropolis the prior summer. It would be good to have a drink--besides Clark sometimes missed the mellow feeling of a good buzz.
"Sure. A drink sounds good."
Lucas smiled and turned to the small bar, ice chinked and crackled as he poured the liquor. He handed the drink to Clark with a small nod. "Enjoy."
"Thanks." Clark sipped the liquid and closed his eyes as the delicious warmth tingled in his throat and warmed his stomach. "Nice."
"The best." Lucas lifted his glass in a toast. "Speaking of 'the best'. May the best man always win."
Clark, confused, but not seeing anything wrong with the sentiment raised his glass in response before taking another sip.
Long moments of uncomfortable silence stretched between them and Clark busied himself draining his glass as he stared out the window. He considered the interesting way that alcohol had of making the world paradoxically brighter, sharper and more liquid all at once. He looked down at his nearly empty glass and marveled that the quality of liquor seemed to have an effect on the quality and depth of the buzz. He was definitely feeling this glass of scotch more than he'd ever felt any other drink he'd had. Maybe it was the fact that it'd been a year since he'd really had a drink?
"Hand me your glass."
Clark looked up at Lucas who was smiling at him rather kindly. He mutely extended the glass, finding it oddly heavy, and Lucas took it, turning his back to fill it once again from the bar.
"Good stuff, huh, Clark?"
"Yeah. It's pretty strong. I'm really feeling it." Clark smiled at him wobbily. Maybe Lucas wasn't such a bad guy after all. He was being pretty nice at the moment. He took the re-filled glass with strangely numb fingers, gazing into the amber liquid, watching it slosh a little with each bump on the road.
Lucas smiled. "Light-weight."
Clark blushed. "Yeah. I guess."
"Did Lex ever tell you about how I grew up?"
Clark shrugged. "A little. Foster homes, right?"
Lucas changed seats, sitting next to Clark rather than across from him. He sipped his scotch thoughtfully and began to talk about his childhood in the foster care system. Clark watched his mouth move, mesmerized by the intricate interactions of his tongue, teeth and lips while forming words. Lucas had a pretty mouth. Clark nearly groaned. Just what he needed--thinking sexual thoughts about his best friend's brother. Maybe there was something about the Luthor gene pool that made Clark's cock stand up and pay attention? He briefly considered Lionel, tried to imagine sucking Lionel's cock for a moment and shuddered hard. No--there was nothing about Lionel that Clark wanted. But Lucas--maybe. And Lex--oh, yeah.
Clark sucked down some more scotch and leaned his head back against the seat, listening to Lucas' smooth, oiled voice glide on next to him. He felt sort of guilty that he wasn't really listening, but he felt mellow inside, calm and relaxed; it was hard to pay attention to anything, really. His entire body was heavy and tired, like when he'd lost his powers and he'd fallen into bed in a half-stupor after working the farm all day. In fact, he felt like he might already be asleep and dreaming. Clark raised the very heavy glass to his lips and took another long sip. It tasted like a dream, so maybe he was.
Suddenly Lucas leaned close and said earnestly, "I owe Lex something, Clark. You think you could help me out with it?"
Clark pried his eyes open, looked at Lucas in confusion and shrugged, even his arms were strangely heavy. "I don't know. How could I help?" Did his voice sound slurred?
Lucas shifted very close, his thigh against Clark's, his posture indicating that he intended to whisper in Clark's ear. Clark jerked in shock when Lucas' hand rested on his thigh as though he were just gaining purchase there to reach Clark's ear. But then Lucas' hand slid up as Lucas spoke, finally resting on Clark's cock and stroking. He moaned a little, reacting instantly to the stimulation.
Lucas muttered, low and dark, "Yeah, Lex sort of fucked me over recently, messed up some long term plans of mine. Thought I'd pay him back. Fuck with his long term plans."
Clark fumbled to put his hand on top of Lucas' and stopped the stroking fingers. "Stop, Lucas."
Lucas squeezed and Clark gasped as his cock grew harder. He pried weakly at Lucas' hand, trying to get him to let go, but the bastard hung on. God, it felt so good. Clark stared at Lucas' face, his gaze locking onto Lucas' lips again and it took all of his strength to look away. He turned to see the flashing of trees outside of the window; he briefly considered opening the door and jumping out but he didn't have the strength to move, the world warmed and started to spin around him.
Lucas divested Clark of his drink, whispering as he climbed into Clark's lap, "What are you going to do, Clark? Jump out of a moving vehicle going over 60 miles per hour?" Lucas purred in Clark's face, "Are you going to hurt me? Knock me out? What are you going to do to stop me?"
Clark grew incredibly hard and he shook his head in confusion as Lucas continued to stroke him through his jeans. Clark closed his eyes, relieved when Lucas moved off of his body. But his eyes flew wide when he realized that Lucas had simply slid to the floor and that his hands were now unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his cock out.
Clark gasped, "Stop. Stop right now." He really thought that he should sound more convincing, but in this dream realm he was flailing in, it was hard not to want, hard to sound like it didn't feel good.
Lucas smirked up at him and then opened his mouth. Clark choked on his own spit as Lucas swallowed him down without warning or pause. His eyes rolled back into his head and he writhed against the seat. Lucas worked his tongue on the underside of Clark's cock and it felt so good, so terribly good. Clark pulled on Lucas' hair hard enough that it had to hurt, but he wasn't able to move him away. He should be panicking, but he wasn't; he felt heavy and trapped in a world where there was nothing to do but to take it. And, God, it was amazing. It'd been so long since he'd had a blow job--so long.
He whimpered, "Stop, please, stop."
Lucas pulled off with a wet pop and asked innocently, "Why, Clark? The harm's already been done. I've already sucked you; your cock's been in my mouth. What would you tell Lex now? I can still tell him that I sucked you and you couldn't deny it. Unless you plan to lie to him more? Is that what you plan to do? You may as well just lean back and enjoy it, Clark. It's already happened. I've already had my mouth on you."
Lucas opened his mouth wide, swallowing Clark down again. Clark's cock swelled painfully, despite the sick feeling in his stomach. He whimpered and struggled, but he couldn't seem to struggle very hard, all of his motions seeming to simply encourage Lucas' attentions. His cock jumped and twitched in Lucas' mouth and it felt so good. He didn't really want to hurt Lucas, but the bastard wouldn't budge even though Clark was pushing against him hard enough to bruise.
He groaned as Lucas lifted up and twisted his tongue over the head of Clark's cock before deep-throating him again. Clark rolled his head back and forth against the seat. He didn't know what to do, his body fought his brain. It felt so good and it couldn't be real--it was a dream, he was too weak to push him away. It had to be a dream.
Lucas looked up at Clark before pulling off and saying, "You look so hot like this. I'm going to tell Lex how hot you looked. Don't worry, I'll tell him that you fought me, that you tried to get me to stop. He won't be angry with you. Just really pissed that I took this from him. He wanted to give you your first blow job."
Clark shook his head. "I've had blow jobs before. This girl named Jessie gave me one and...and...my girlfriend, Kyla. Some other people in Metropolis."
Lucas shrugged, pulling Clark's jeans down off of his hips. Clark lifted to make it easier, he didn't know why, but Lucas was right--it had happened, and he needed it. He'd missed this so much. God. Lucas pulled off his shoes and his jeans. Clark wrapped his hands in Lucas' hair and guided him back toward his cock. He did want it. He did.
Lucas smiled, taking the head of Clark's cock between his lips, tonguing the slit and sucking hard. Clark bucked up into the hot, wet heaven and it felt too good for him to even consider making Lucas stop. Clark closed his eyes, feeling his way blindly through each drop of time sliding past. He felt free, open, relaxed and utterly unable to hold back the building pressure that signaled the approach of orgasm.
Clark jerked and gasped at the intrusion of a slick finger at his ass. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Lucas staring up at him mockingly as his finger circled Clark's hole. Clark shook his head. He didn't want this. No one had ever had this. No.
Lucas pushed his finger in, keeping his mouth on Clark's cock and then pushed in another finger. This wasn't a dream. It was too real. Clark struggled, but somehow his squirming simply impaled the fingers deeper inside of him. He arched and cried out when Lucas' fingers found his prostate. Oh God. He felt broken inside with want and need--and fear. What was wrong with him? Alcohol had never affected him like this. Why was he so heavy, so clumsy? Why did it feel so good that he couldn't seem to care?
Lucas pulled off and said sweetly, "You shouldn't have told me that you'd already been blown, Clark. It sort of ruins my victory over Lex. Now we'll have to take this a step further. That's okay though, because this way at least I get to get off too."
Then he lifted Clark's legs up and Clark pushed at him. He didn't want this, he did want this, he didn't know what he wanted, but he was way too drunk and everything felt so good. He knew that he could get away if he really had to, but the car was hurtling through the countryside and he'd end up giving away his secrets to Lucas if he wasn't careful and that was something Lex would never forgive.
Lucas lined up against Clark's ass, he was slick and the air was cool on Clark's cock where Lucas had been sucking him. Clark's heart pounded in his throat when Lucas grinned and said, "It's been so long since I've had a virgin, a long time since I was confident that I could go bareback. I'm gonna come in your sweet ass, Clark. Mark you. Lex won't like that much. But don't worry, I'll tell him how much you fought."
Clark didn't want this. He was sure in that moment and he started to struggle, but--
Oh, God. Oh, oh, God. Clark jerked and felt his cock arch up with need as he was overtaken by the unbelievable sensation of being filled. In shock, unable to do more than shake and moan, Clark whined as Lucas' cock pushed into him slowly. He gasped and tried to breathe, eyes flying wide and mouth opening. He heard a hurt noise come from his throat and yet he couldn't stop himself from lifting up for more.
Lucas grinned and murmured, "Wow. I'll have to describe this to Lex in detail, he'll be sorry to have missed this. Maybe he'll think twice about fucking with my plans in the future."
Clark felt the world tilt at Lucas' words, reality clicked in and finally he started to panic. Oh God, he was being fucked. He felt terror mount into his throat and he felt sick. He struggled a little and just felt Lucas slide in further. Oh, God, he was out of control, he was being taken and he didn't even want it. Lucas whispered, "Just close your eyes, Clark. Pretend I'm Lex. It's okay, I won't mind."
Clark groaned as Lucas' cock invaded him. The sensation was overwhelming and Clark felt as though every nerve in his body was burning. Shame and sick lust made him turn his head and close his eyes. He could hear Lucas' teeth gritting together as he pressed in jerkily.
"Jesus, so fucking tight." Lucas' voice was no longer cocky and sure, it sounded strained and a little broken, the words breathed between clenched teeth.
Clark realized he was crying when Lucas released his hold on Clark's thigh to run a hand over Clark's cheek. "Christ, tears even. This is too good."
Lucas thrust forward hard and Clark jerked feeling Lucas's balls slap against his ass. Clark gagged. His ass tensed and fluttered around Lucas, trying to adjust to the sheer size of him. He knew that he could still try kick Lucas off, he could overpower him, dump him out onto the road. But, somehow, Lucas's cock was inside him and Clark was pinned in place, weak with drink and violation.
"It's okay, Clark. Just relax. Think of Lex." Lucas began to move and Clark wanted to die as his own hips responded to the thrusts. "He'd be thick like me, hot and hard. He'd be sweet though, not rough like this." And Lucas punctuated with a fast thrust that make Clark buck up in shock. "He looks at you like you're something special, doesn't he Clark? You like it don't you?"
Clark whimpered and squeezed his eyes more tightly shut.
"Yes, Lex would fuck you slowly; he'd want to make sure you enjoyed it. Are you enjoying it, Clark? Would you push up to meet him like you're doing right now for me? He'd like that. He'd bite his lip and grind into you, like this--" Lucas twisted his hips and hit his prostate. Clark felt his body jolt with pure pleasure. The cry that echoed in the compartment was his and his cock jerked hard. His eyes flew open in surprise and Lucas laughed at him.
"Beautiful. Jesus." Lucas swiped a finger through the pre-come pooling on Clark's stomach and brought it up to Clark's lips. "Taste yourself. Taste how good it feels."
Clark turned his head. Lucas laughed but didn't persist, wiping his finger on Clark's shirt.
"Please, please stop, Lucas. Please."
Lucas chuckled. "Why, Clark? It's too late to turn back now. I'm inside you; I'm fucking you. I'll always be your first. You may as well let yourself enjoy it. I'll let you come; don't worry. I wouldn't be that cruel."
Clark felt sobs welling in his chest as Lucas adjusted their position, pushing Clark's knees up to his chest and curling over him. Lucas ran a soothing hand across Clark's face, "Don't be so upset, Clark. I've got you. Just close your eyes now."
Clark did close his eyes; he couldn't stand to look at Lucas as this happened.
"There, think of Lex. That's a good boy." Lucas rammed into him hard, hitting that place inside and Clark arched up. It felt too good and he wanted to prevent it but he couldn't, and when his body responded, he was unable to control himself.
Lucas fucked him hard and Clark choked on his gasps of pleasure, his tears of disgust. He couldn't stop this now if he tried, each jolt of near orgasmic sensation reducing him to a bucking, writhing body. He could feel the slow burn starting in his loins; he wasn't going to last against this onslaught.
Lucas' words filtered through the haze to him. "Lex wants you so badly, Clark. Do you know how much? He masturbates thinking of you. I saw him--heard him call your name one night. God, so fucking good--Clark. God." Lucas' thrusts were unsteady now, rough, and Clark was shocked when Lucas used the momentum of a thrust to rip himself out of Clark's ass.
Clark whined against the violent and sudden emptiness. He'd never wanted to be filled, but now he felt raw and on the edge of sanity. His cock ached and his ass quivered, wanting to be taken again. He thrashed his head and groaned, "No. No. No."
Then Lucas had him in his mouth and Clark was thrusting into the hot, wet heat. He needed to come and he couldn't stop crying. It was too much and he was too hard to breathe.
Lucas tortured him, moving his head away as Clark thrust, never allowing him to go deep. He sucked on the head of Clark's cock, moaning and humming. Clark tried to grab Lucas' head but his arms were too clumsy and weak; be barely got a handful of hair before Lucas batted his hands away easily and pulled off.
"Please! Please!" Clark whimpered and writhed. He needed this finished.
"Please, what? Please stop? Please call Lex and ask him to fuck you when we get to Metropolis? Please don't tell Lex that I fucked you and made you beg? Please, what, Clark?"
Clark was hardly able to understand Lucas' words. His blood throbbed in his groin, his mind whirled, unable to do anything but want, need, feel. He had to find an end to this.
"Please, Lucas. Fuck me. Please," Clark whimpered, gasping for breath.
"Oh Clark, Lex will be so sorry he missed this. So fucking hot."
A brutal stroke and Lucas had buried himself to his balls. Clark screamed, a piteous mixture of self-loathing and relief. He could vaguely hear Lucas' laughter as he rode out wave after wave of rocking thrusts, his cock pulsing with each stroke over his prostate and he'd never cried like this in front of anyone, not even when he was a kid, but he couldn't stop. His mouth open and his breathing coming in ragged harsh, dragging gulps.
"I need you to come, Clark. This needs to happen." Lucas sounded desperate.
A slick hand wrapped around Clark's cock and he nearly jerked off the seat.
"Think of Lex, Clark. Think of him naked--and hard, fucking you--" Lucas gasped and Clark felt his cock pulse inside. "Jesus, I need you to come--Lex, Lex--think of him, Clark--he'd beg you to come. He'd call your name and say 'Please come for me'--God, Clark, God--with that voice." Lucas sounded awed, but Clark barely heard it over the rush of blood in his ears and the desperate howls coming from his own throat.
Clark tensed and arched up hard. He couldn't breathe and he clamped down on the edge of the leather seat with his hands. He gritted his teeth as the images of Lex filled his mind and he came with so much trembling force he didn't think he could stop, would ever stop. "Lex! Lex!" He felt his come splash up under his chin and his legs slipped off Lucas' shoulders as he jerked. Lucas groaned and Clark shuddered as he became aware of his ass squeezing around Lucas' cock.
He blinked his eyes open slowly to see Lucas over him. His face drawn tight with impending orgasm and he fucked Clark recklessly, hips twisting and frantic. "God, Clark, just the tightest ass ever. So good, so good--"
There was a beep as the intercom connecting with the driver's compartment announced an interruption. Lucas didn't stop pounding into Clark's body and Clark couldn't pull his eyes away from Lucas' face.
"Mr. Luthor, sir, ten minutes until we arrive in Metropolis."
Lucas groaned loudly, moaned, "Oh, God, Clark, so good. I'm coming, I'm coming!" Clark felt the pulsing of Lucas' cock and Lucas froze, ass clenched trying to get deeper into Clark, shaking as he came. His lips pulled back and his eyes shut as he rode out his orgasm.
The driver cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Mr. Luthor?"
Lucas laughed breathily, gasping for air. He finally turned his head toward the speaker and said, "Nothing. Thank you--Eric."
Clark blushed violently. The driver-- "Oh, God, he'll tell Lex.
Lucas, still shaking, smirked down at him. "I'm going to tell Lex anyway, remember?"
Clark winced and Lucas pulled out of him slowly. The sense of emptiness was repulsive to him. Lucas reached into a hidden cabinet and tossed a small hand towel to Clark.
"Clean up. We're almost there."
Clark shifted to clean between his legs and gagged as Lucas' come slid between his thighs. Lucas used another towel to clean himself off and he'd tucked his cock in and zipped up before Clark had finished with the mess coming from his ass.
"Don't forget to clean up your shirt. You came all over it." Lucas said casually, reaching over to the bar to pour some more liquor. "Want another drink? Take the edge off?"
Clark pulled his jeans up and struggled to wipe the come off of his shirt. The scent of sex hung heavy in the small area. He leaned over and rolled a window down, fighting the urge to hang his head out and vomit.
Lucas took the towel from his hand and threw it out the window along with the towel he'd used. He then pressed another drink into Clark's palm. It burned going down, but Clark spent the last five minutes before they pulled up in front of the penthouse gulping liquor and avoiding Lucas' eyes.
Lex was waiting outside the penthouse for them when they arrived, his eyes sparkling and a rare smile on his face. "Lucas! Keeping out of trouble?"
Lucas smirked and shrugged. "Oh, you know me Lex. It's hard to keep my nose clean, but I do my best."
Lex smiled a little indulgently and then turned to Clark, indicating his bag. "Need any help?"
He shook his head and fought the lump in his throat. God, this was fucked up. So, so fucked up. He'd just been fucked by Lucas and now Lex wanted to carry his bag. And he still felt weak from the alcohol. He wanted to die.
Lex looked him over slowly. "Everything all right, Clark?"
He shook his head mutely and swallowed hard. No, everything was far from all right.
Lucas said, "He drank some scotch with me on the ride. I guess I refilled his glass too many times. Probably feels a little queasy, huh, Clark?"
Clark met Lucas' eyes and then dropped his gaze to the sidewalk. "Yeah."
Lex put his hand on Clark's arm. "Let's get some water into your system." He turned to Lucas. "And, thanks, Lucas. I've promised his parents to keep him out of trouble and you get him liquored up on the ride over here."
"Hey, it's not my fault he's a lightweight."
Clark allowed himself to be guided into the elevator. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Oh. Oh fuck. He smelled like sex. The whole elevator reeked of sex. He opened his eyes and glanced at Lex who was staring at Lucas with some distaste.
Lucas grinned at Lex and said, "Guess I should've showered this morning. Sorry."
Lex narrowed his eyes and shook his head, ushering Clark out into the hallway of the penthouse when the elevator doors finally opened. "Sorry about Lucas, Clark. He's still not realized that rebellion doesn't have to be without class."
Lucas snorted and pushed ahead of Clark. "S'cuze me while I shower, then."
Clark watched Lucas disappear down the hall and into Clark's usual suite.
"I hope you don't mind taking another room, Clark? That one happens to be Lucas' favorite."
Clark shrugged and smiled gamely. "Sure. No problem." Who cared that it was his favorite, too? He wasn't even a Luthor after all. Just a fuck-toy for a Luthor. His stomach twisted rancidly.
"I--I don't feel so good. I'm going to go rest. Where's my room?"
Lex checked him over in concern and took his bag. "This way. Are you sure it was just the alcohol?"
"Yeah. I was stupid. Just drank way too much."
Lex nodded. "It's easy to do that the first few times. Next time you want to experiment, talk to me first, okay? Lucas isn't a reliable person when it comes to things like that. Although, I'm glad to see you two got along. I expected to have to keep you separated based on past interactions."
Clark nodded as he stepped into his least favorite guest room. He thought it was a fitting punishment, so he didn't tell Lex that he'd prefer the blue room over this purple monstrosity. Lex sat his bag down on the bed and Clark said, "I'm sorry, Lex. I need to rest."
Lex nodded, opened the small refrigerator next to the television and pulled out three bottles of water. "Drink them all. You'll feel better."
Clark smiled and agreed.
"Okay, well, I have to go out tonight. A boring function that I can't miss. Will you and Lucas be okay to entertain yourselves until I get back?"
Clark's heart seized. "Sure. I, uh, I don't know how much I'll feel up to, anyway. I might just watch some T.V."
"Okay. Feel free to order take-out from San Lucia's. Tell them to put it on my tab. I'm sorry I can't spend tonight with you. But the rest of this weekend is all yours. Lucas leaves in the morning."
Clark smiled, but it felt all wrong. "Great. We'll have a good time."
Lex frowned worriedly. "Are you sure that you're okay?"
"Go, Lex. Get ready for your function. I'm going to take a nap and shower. Or take a shower and a nap, or something."
Lex looked for a moment as though he were going to hug Clark, but instead he simply said, "Have a good evening. I'll see you later." He turned to leave and then said, "Oh, and Clark, if you need me, you have my cell number."
Clark sagged onto the bed when the door closed, exhausted. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He couldn't believe the circumstances under which it had been done to him.
He'd lost his virginity in the back of a limo to a person he basically despised. He let the brother of his best friend do things to him that he hadn't really come to terms with wanting in the first place. Sure, he'd known that he was in love with Lex for awhile now, and he'd suspected that Lex might have feelings for him, too--but to find it all out for sure while being fucked by Lex's brother? A man he didn't even like? Clark gagged and curled up on the bed, letting the dry sobs take him until he fell asleep.
The shower was cold, but his dick was still hard. Clark had woken up from erotic dream after erotic dream of Lex pressing his cock into Clark in the limo, in a closet, in a shower, in a bed, in a field of corn--it was endless, just Lex and Clark and sex that had him aching to come when he woke up. But then the bitter bile had surged into his mouth when he realized that the sensations in his dream were built on his memory of Lucas. He'd been a pawn in some sick game he wasn't even sure that Lex knew Lucas was playing.
His cock hadn't cared, and it was still screaming for release.
Clark scrubbed his body thoroughly, letting the icy water rush over him. But his bizarre, inhuman skin didn't register the coldness as anything but mere sensory input and it fed into his erection, rather than alleviating it. As he washed his asshole he remembered the slick feeling of Lucas' fingers against it and he swirled his own around in a gentle tease. His cock flexed eagerly.
He just needed to replace the memories. He could imagine that it was Lex and it wouldn't be Lucas any more. He could pretend that it never happened.
He pressed one hand to the shower wall and twisted his hips around to gain better access. He pushed hard against the tight ring of muscle and gained entrance for his finger up to the first knuckle. He closed his eyes, pretended it was Lex's finger inside of him and ordered his muscles to relax, pressing back to fit more inside.
Lex had looked gorgeous today. Blue shirt that brought out his eyes, open collar and how would he taste there at his throat? Lucas had said Lex wanted him, was it true? Clark pumped his finger in and out, leaning forward to get in more. Lex would be so different from Lucas, because Lex looked at him with love in his eyes. Clark bit his lip and took his cock into his hand before pushing another finger in. It burned a little without anything slicking the way except for water. But he didn't care, he'd burn for Lex if he had to, and he spread his legs, twisting to get in deeper.
Clark pumped his cock thinking of Lex, the roll of his hips, the way he smoothed his hand over his head. But he jerked as he flashed to Lucas' face, the snide smirk as he had opened Clark with his fingers. He sighed and dropped his cock, pulled his fingers free and washed himself again. Too soon to forget what had happened and he was a fool to think he could replace a memory as strong as this one.
He finally willed his erection away by remembering the time he caught his parents having sex in the barn, although that did nothing to settle his stomach. He stepped out of the shower and dried himself with a towel, studying his reflection in the mirror. Except for the depth of sadness in his eyes, there was no change. His mom would have no idea that Lucas Luthor had fucked him in the limo and that Clark had gotten off on it.
He hung his head and then turned to toss the towel into the hamper before exiting the bathroom. He crossed to the bed and dug around in his duffle bag, hair dripping onto his shoulders and onto the clothes in his bag. He pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, plenty to sleep in tonight and enough for lounging in while watching television.
The clinking of ice shifting in a glass froze him in place. Slowly, he turned around, holding the boxers in front of his crotch. Lucas lounged in the chair across the room, scotch in one hand and caressing his obvious erection through his pants with the other.
"Nice. I didn't get a good look earlier."
Clark's heart raced in his chest, his throat constricting as he whispered. "What are you doing in here? I locked the door. That generally means that guests aren't welcome."
Lucas smirked, shifting his hand from his erection to his pant pocket, he withdrew several long, thin metal tools. "Picked the lock. A little something I learned on the streets. Comes in handy sometimes." Lucas stuffed the picks back into his pocket. "Like now, for example."
Every moment of the ride in the limo rushed through him and humiliated him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Lucas had never scared Clark before; there was no reason for him to be afraid now. Clark's mind rushed to disagree, reminding him forcefully of the feel of Lucas' cock in his ass, his mouth on Clark's penis, his face as he came inside of Clark, the pulse of his cock against Clark's stretched hole. He hadn't wanted that, had he? And yet, it had happened. There was every reason to be afraid.
Clark looked up to find Lucas standing directly in front of him. Apparently Lucas had inherited Lex's ability to move without sound and nearly faster than light.
"Get away from me, Lucas."
Lucas' hand trailed down Clark's chest and down his arm, grabbing onto the boxers in his hand.
"I don't want to hurt you, Lucas, but I will."
Lucas laughed and pressed his body against Clark's. Clark tried to take a step back but found himself trapped by the bed. He placed his hands on Lucas' chest and shoved hard enough to dislodge Lucas's grip.
Lucas's drink sloshed a little as he stumbled back and the boxers ripped out of Clark's hand. Lucas raised his hand holding the boxers and waved them in a gesture of defeat and chuckled. "Okay, Clark. I'm getting the message loud and clear. Having some regrets about the limo, huh?"
Clark's eyes narrowed dangerously and his fists curled into balls at his side. "I didn't want what happened in the limo."
Lucas lifted his eyebrows in an express of fake concern. "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Clark. I must have been confused by you asking me to fuck you. I believe it was 'Please Lucas. Fuck me. Please.' Wasn't it? Or did I misunderstand your words?"
"Get the fuck out of my room."
Lucas stepped carefully closer. Clark could just feel his body heat and the brush of air moving against his naked skin. Lucas leaned close and whispered in his ear. "You wanted it so badly, Clark. You're so gorgeous when you come. Remember how good it felt, how unbelievably good when you shot your load? I can do that for you again."
Clark clenched his fists and fought the urge to strike out. His body remembered the unbearable strokes against his prostate and he felt his ass relaxing and his cock rising. God. Oh, God. No--he was betraying himself again.
"Lex is out fucking some beautiful cunt and you're here--with me."
Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath, lust burning in his groin and that sick feeling roiling in his gut. His cock was hard, too hard, and it was a betrayal of the worst kind. His head dropped to his chest and he fought the urge to grab Lucas, force him to his knees to fuck his mouth until he came all over the smug bastard's face.
He was vaguely aware of the chinking of ice and then he opened his eyes. Lucas was still there in front of him, smirk harsh on his face and then he felt it--
A warm hand on his hip and an ice cold press between his ass cheeks, sliding down to push the hard, cold piece of ice into his hole. Lucas grinned and used his thumb to push the ice cube deep inside and Clark's knees nearly buckled.
"Yeah. That's right. You still want it." Lucas pulled another cube from his drink and Clark didn't stop him as he trailed it over Clark's chest, down his arm, over his hip and then shoved it into his ass as well. "You're still open and begging for it. Were you putting your fingers in yourself during your shower? Thinking of Lex?" Lucas stood close and the soft scrape of his pants brushed across Clark's naked legs. "Or were you thinking of me?"
Clark shook as wet, cool water slipped down his thighs. He stared at Lucas, mouth open and unable to stop the further lengthening of his cock.
Lucas stooped and Clark just watched, wide eyed, as Lucas put his scotch on the floor, his hand trailing down Clark's thigh as he did so, a constant verification of their proximity, of Lucas' intention to touch and to have.
The trickle of water on his leg felt horrible and distractingly good. Clark let the flame of anger that banked under his lust and fear flare and he grabbed Lucas' hair, jerking his head back and causing Lucas to gasp in surprise.
"Steady now, cowboy. I know you're eager, but we've got hours. Let's take some time," Lucas drawled.
Clark glared at Lucas on the floor before him and grabbed his jaw with his other hand, forcing it open. He pushed his cock past Lucas' shocked, open mouth and squeezed his ass cheeks around the melting ice cubes. This time it would be on his terms.
Lucas sucked him down and Clark thrust into his mouth, driving into the hot, wet depths and closing his eyes against the sight of Lucas' face. Lucas' fingers entered his ass and he let his knees buckle a little to impale himself on them. Lucas groaned around his cock and Clark pulled out.
Lucas's thick fingers scissored in his ass and he licked along Clark's inner thighs as he worked. Clark threw his head back and felt the gorgeous torture of fingers skittering across his prostate and stretching his ass. He clenched around them, trying to hold on as Lucas pulled them out.
"Eager little fuck. Knew you'd love it, Clark. Just needed a taste." Lucas rose slowly and pushed on Clark's shoulders, stood on his tip-toes and tried to capture Clark's lips.
Clark turned his head away and pushed Lucas back. "Get out."
Lucas laughed. "Oh, no, Clark. Not yet." His hand wrapped around Clark's aching cock. "This isn't over. You want me so much you'd come if I just told you what I want to do to you."
Clark moaned and licked his lips. He did. God fucking help him, he wanted to feel the full pressure of his ass being stretched and he turned with only a slight push on his hip. Lucas shoved and Clark let go, falling to his stomach on the bed. He raised his head and saw himself reflected in the mirror across the room. Lucas stood behind him, unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall to the floor. Clark buried his face in the mattress, grinding into the cover on the bed, looking for friction.
Where Lucas got lube, Clark didn't know and he didn't care because it was happening again; he was opening to the huge, thick, intruding cock and he yelled into the mattress. Lucas' hands on his hips held him steady as his cock burned into Clark's bowels, a ruthless slide that filled all of Clark's consciousness. He thought, felt, was nothing but an open, clutching ass that wanted more, wanted the shattering pleasure of a thrust against his prostate, wanted to be filled and taken--dominated. Who knew he'd want that?
Lucas hissed. "Tight. Christ. Fucking you--" Lucas grunted as he flexed inside of Clark. "Best fucking idea I've had in years."
Clark insinuated his hand between the mattress and his cock; he fisted himself roughly. Lucas bit harshly at Clark's shoulders, a sharp sensation that would have hurt anyone else. Clark welcomed it, wanted it to be uncomfortable. This wasn't about love or affection, this was some primal drive to get his rocks off and he'd only felt like this a few times before--on Red Kryptonite, his drug of choice.
But there wasn't an explanation to be found there tonight, no Red Kryptonite around to explain his wanton behavior. And he didn't even like Lucas--but he was letting Lucas fuck him for the second time that day. Jesus. It felt so good. It hurt so much to let himself feel this, to give himself over to something insane and incomprehensible to himself, to what he'd been raised to be. So freeing to be fucked through the mattress.
There was a reason that slang term existed and in his frantic need, Clark was living it. Lucas thrust so hard that Clark saw stars, and his fingers dug into the sheets, ripping them, shredding into the fabric of the mattress itself. But Lucas didn't stop. Lucas bit and scratched and, Christ, slapped Clark's ass hard with the palm of his hand while he viciously fucked him.
Clark jerked with every slap to his ass, surprised. Lucas hissed in his ear, dirty, hot encouragement, "Yeah, squeeze me, Clark. Love how you jump when I smack your ass."
Lucas bit down on Clark's earlobe and Clark squirmed back onto his cock. Lucas was unsteady, his thrusts ragged and his breathing even more so. Clark gripped his own cock and jerked furiously. Lucas reached around and wrapped his hand around Clark's, adding his grip to the tight tunnel.
Clark gritted his teeth together and felt sweat break out over his body. This was it, no turning back and he heard Lucas murmuring in his ear, "That's right, fucking come for me, slut. Give it up. Come for me, Clark. Let me see you come." Lucas moaned long and low. "I can feel--you're so close." Lucas twitched on Clark, his limbs jerking and he bit into Clark's shoulder hard and whispered against his skin, "Come for me, you little whore."
Clark bucked and shot over his hand onto the mattress, shaking uncontrollably, biting down on the scream that keened out through his gritted teeth. Lucas slapped his ass hard and then jerked, calling out, "Oh God, yes! Yes, fuck, yes! Clark, so fucking good!"
This time when Lucas pulled out Clark didn't fight the urge to vomit. He felt it rise in his throat and he threw up on the bed. He heaved and panted as Lucas backed away.
"Disgusting." Clark could hear Lucas zipping his pants. "Fucking whore. I knew you'd be this way, Clark. Insatiable and completely unable to deal with it. I think I've fucked up Lex's plans to the point I don't even need to tell him about our--" Lucas walked around the bed and pulled Clark's chin up to look at him. Clark, still heaving from having thrown up for the first time in his life, could barely meet Lucas' eye. "--our encounters." Sharp grin. "You're totally ruined. But delicious. Watch out, I might come back in tonight to sample this tight ass again."
Lucas gagged a little, probably from the smell of the vomit. "Clean this shit up." Lucas strolled to the doorway. "Oh--well, guess who's home early."
Clark could hear Lex's footsteps in the hall.
Lucas continued. "That's my cue to leave. It was my pleasure, Clark. Glad you enjoyed it, too."
Clark frantically pulled the sheets off the bed, hearing Lex's footsteps draw closer as Lucas disappeared through the servant's door to the back hallway. He looked at the holes in the mattress and his heart pounded in his chest. Lex was right outside of his door and Clark became suddenly paralyzed. Nothing to do. No where to run.
Lex knocked softly on the door. "Clark? Are you awake? May I come in?"
Clark fought down another wave of nausea and gasped, "Just a minute, Lex. Hold on. Please."
Lex made an odd noise but said, "Okay, Clark. Take your time."
Clark ran to the bathroom, wet a cloth and washed his cock and his ass as quickly as he could, using his speed. He wadded the sheets into a ball and stuck them in the hamper. He grabbed his boxers and slid them on with a t-shirt, wishing he could shower. The idea of looking at Lex for the second time that day while reeking of Lucas' come made Clark stifle a sob. He was such a fuck up.
He slowly opened the door just a crack and Lex looked up at him in concern. "Is everything okay, Clark?"
Clark gulped and nodded.
"You look flushed." Lex frowned.
"Yeah. I mean, uh, I'm sick. I'm sorry, Lex. I must've picked up a virus. I should go home tomorrow. I don't want to make you sick, too."
Lex pushed against the door, attempting to gain entrance, but Clark held it tight. "Really, Lex, you don't want to be near me. You could get sick."
"I don't get sick, Clark." Lex frowned. "Let me in."
Clark took a step back and Lex pushed into the room, then wrinkled his nose. "Have you thrown up?"
"God, Clark. I'm so sorry." Lex touched his shoulder affectionately. "Are you okay? Should I call a doctor? Your mom?"
Clark shook his head. "No. No doctor." And talking to his mom right now? A sure fire way to make him vomit again.
Lex looked at the bed. "What happened to the bed?"
Clark blushed hard. "I--oh, God, I'm so sorry, Lex. I threw up in it."
Lex turned to him, eyes wide with worry. "Clark, that's okay. God--" Lex touched Clark's arm and murmured, "You can't sleep in here. I'll set you up in the guest room next to Lucas'."
Clark felt panic wrench his gut. "No!"
"I mean, I don't feel well, Lex. Can I--" Clark swallowed his pride. "I don't want to sound like a big baby, but can I sleep near you?"
Lex stroked his arm soothingly. "Of course you can, Clark. You can sleep in my room." Lex looked around and grabbed Clark's duffle. "Come on. I'll get you set up."
Clark swallowed hard. He didn't deserve this. He was a total and complete fuck up.
Lex led him down the hall way. Just as they passed Lucas' door, it opened and Lucas stuck his head out into the hallway. "Everything okay?"
Lex barely glanced at Lucas, taking Clark's arm and pulling him closer. "Yeah. Clark's just a little sick. He's going to stay in my suite tonight."
"Oh. Oh, man, Clark. I'm so sorry. I had no idea that you'd get that sick from the alcohol."
Clark looked at Lucas then and choked back a growl at the mask of false concern and innocence there. He didn't say anything, just continued to follow Lex, who called over his shoulder, "Good night, Lucas."
Clark shuffled along beside him. "I, uh, I want to take a shower, Lex. I feel gross."
Lex glanced at him. "Did you just throw up? Your hair is still wet."
"Yeah. I was, uh--just out of the shower. I thought it would make me feel better."
Lex nodded and guided Clark into his bedroom. It was the same as it ever was--big bed, large sofa, books on the night table and simple, though well-made furniture. Lex sat Clark's duffle down, opened it, pulled out a toothbrush and toothpaste, then nudged him toward the bathroom. "Go shower, Clark. I'll set you up out here, okay?"
Clark bit down hard on his lip to keep back the tears that threatened to choke him and he moved into the bathroom, locking the door behind. He brushed his teeth first, eager to get the rancid taste of vomit out of his mouth. The shower was large and he moved beneath the multiple heads, washing every inch of his body as thoroughly as possible. As he washed his ass, he gently fingered the hole; he closed his eyes, dizzy with the combination of sex and fear in his system.
He sank down to his knees, curling over and burying his face in his hands. He could feel the water beating against his skin and he wanted to feel clean, wanted it to wash away all of his filthiness, but he could still feel the need singing just under his skin, the desire that had led him to give himself over to Lucas.
He was not the man his parents had raised him to be. He was something alien and eager and ready to be fucked by anything that looked good, tasted good, felt good, moved inside of him with that sure, strong stroke. And, God, even now he was getting hard again. Was he a slut? Was he an alien whore? Was this how his people behaved? Were they unreasonable slaves to their physical desires? And how unfair that he didn't know the answer to these questions? How unfair that he was left with nothing more than utterly foreign ways to interpret his actions?
His father always told him that where he came from, the genetic code that made him, none of that mattered. His father said that he was as human as they were and that he lived by the rules of humans, that he had a choice. How to explain the choices he'd made today?
Clark allowed himself to think of the limo and the way that first drink had hit him, numbing parts of him, causing him to relax and, suddenly, he wondered if it hadn't been drugged, if all the drinks hadn't been drugged. He never saw Lucas pour them; he'd been looking out the window nearly the entire trip. And it was clear that Lucas had planned the entire encounter; he'd said that he wanted to teach Lex a lesson about foiling another person's long term plans.
Clark stood up slowly, realization blooming in his stomach with anger and rage. He'd been drugged and taken advantage of--
But, wait, he'd known. He'd known what he was doing and then, tonight--
Tonight he hadn't been drugged. That had been consensual, right? He didn't remember saying 'yes' and he had said 'no', but he'd presented his ass to be taken, right? He hadn't fought. He'd spread his legs wider and fucked himself on Lucas' cock. Sickness rolled over him again and he leaned against the tiles, bending forward to vomit a little into the rush of water down the drain.
He wanted to turn back time and never get into the limo with Lucas, to turn down that first offer for a drink, to push Lucas away, even if it meant slamming him into the driver's compartment or opening the door and dumping him into the road.
And what about Lex? How could he tell him? Would Lex be angry? Or would he even care? Lex had been a wild child in his teen years; surely he'd fucked or been fucked when he wasn't himself, when he was high or drunk, right? He would forgive Clark this transgression, right? Wouldn't he?
Because Clark didn't know if he could live with what he'd done and he needed Lex to show him how, needed someone to take the pleasure he now associated with self-loathing and make it into something new and beautiful. Lex could do that. Lex could show him how to forgive himself, couldn't he? Lex, who Lucas said wanted Clark, Lex, in whose eyes Clark saw reciprocated feelings--Lex could touch him and heal him, turn sex into something wonderful, the way it was supposed to be.
"Clark? Are you okay in there?" Lex's voice called through the door.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm okay."
"Are you sure? Do you need any help?"
The image of Lex helping him in the shower flashed through his head and took on a new meaning. "No, I'm okay."
Clark turned the faucets off and grabbed a towel, drying quickly and pulling on his boxers and his t-shirt. He studied himself in the mirror and tried to make sense of his thoughts. He would not tell Lex what had happened. Not yet. He needed to know if Lex really wanted him like Lucas had claimed. After all, he could have been lying; he'd drugged Clark and then nearly raped him, a lie was not above him.
Clark took a steadying breath and nodded to himself. If Lex loved him, if Lex wanted him--
"I'm okay." Clark opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Lex was wearing a pair of blue pajama bottoms and a grey cotton t-shirt that said Princeton Fencing Team across the chest. "Hey. Um. Where should I sleep?"
Lex smiled. "Well, I've made up the couch for myself. You take the bed."
"No, Lex. I can't do that. I can't kick you out of your bed." Clark shook his head. "I'm feeling a lot better now. The couch is fine."
"Clark, your feet would hang off of the end by several inches."
"S'okay. I'm used to that sort of thing."
Lex's voice became slightly steely. "Get in my bed. Now."
Clark shivered. God. That was hot. "Um. Okay."
He walked over to the bed and climbed in, adjusting the pillows and various blankets until he was comfortable. Lex stood next to him, an expression on his face like an old nursemaid. It somehow made Clark feel like laughing despite everything he'd done and how horrible he felt.
"Lex--um. If you aren't afraid of getting sick--"
Lex's eyebrows went up in surprise. "What are you saying, Clark?"
"Well, you could, uh, sleep in the bed, too. It's a big bed. I doubt we'd even know the other person was there." Clark swept his arm out to indicate the huge amount of extra space in the king-sized bed.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Clark." Lex turned toward the couch.
"I'm the one asking, Lex." Clark pointed out. "But if it makes you uncomfortable--"
Lex turned back to regard him carefully and then he sauntered to the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers. Clark turned on his side and watched Lex get settled. "Goodnight, Clark."
Lex shifted, turned a knob next to the head of the bed, and the entire room descended into darkness, the only light the winking of the city from the windows.
Clark lay awake, listening to the slowing of Lex's heartbeat and pulse. He tried not to let himself think any more about Lucas or sex or fucking--but when he finally drifted into dreams, his unconscious supplied glorious visuals and sensations. He woke more than once, hard and desperate.
He felt as though a light-switch had been turned on inside of him. Sex, on. Each time he woke up, he managed to fall back to sleep with more and more difficulty. Lex, however, seemed to be sleeping with no problem, his soft breathing even and deep.
Clark drifted again into a world where Lex's mouth moved over his cock with hard, eager persistence despite Clark's desperate cries that he had to stop, that he didn't want to come yet.
Waking with a start, he felt a strong hand on his chest. Clark opened his eyes and saw Lex peering down at him. "Clark?"
Clark breathed hard, trying to catch his wind, his cock straining under the covers. "Yeah?"
"You were calling my name in your sleep."
Clark blushed hard, the heat moving from his chest up over his face. Lex had to be able to feel the heat where he touched Clark. "Really?"
Lex rolled over onto his back, his left arm right against Clark's right arm, his legs touching Clark's legs. Clark couldn't breathe. Lex's pajama bottoms were soft against Clark's skin and the warm flesh of his arm was tantalizing.
Lex suddenly rolled up on his elbow, his other hand resting on Clark's stomach. "If you don't want this, Clark, tell me now."
Clark blinked rapidly. Oh God. This--Lucas hadn't lied--this was real. It was real, right? Not a dream? The past twenty-four hours seemed like a dream melding with nightmare morphing back into dream.
Clark cleared his throat. "Want."
Lex hummed, his voice a deep, thick rumble that Clark wanted to dissolve into. "Want what?"
"I want whatever you want to happen."
Lex pulled his hand away quickly. "Oh, Clark. You don't know what you're offering."
Clark's skin felt cold where Lex's hand had been. "I know what I want, Lex. I need you. I need you to show me what sex can be like. I want you so bad." Was it the darkness that made him brave? Was it the fact that he couldn't see the reaction in Lex's face? Who was he today? Had he left himself at home on the farm and this was a new Clark?
Lex groaned in response to Clark's words and scooted closer, his hand marking small trails up and down Clark's stomach. "Clark, I want to show you everything."
Clark moved then, he couldn't take it anymore, his hands found Lex's head and he pulled Lex down for a kiss. Lips, sweet and soft, tongue, lush and wet, the world spinning out of control as he finally touched the warm mouth he'd wanted for so long. His stomach twisted painfully with excitement and he whimpered when Lex pulled away.
"Shh, Clark. I'm going to show you. Just--" Clark felt Lex pulling at his shirt and he lifted up to get it over his head.
"You, too." Clark whispered and heard, rather than saw Lex comply. The rustle of fabric and then the muffled thud as the t-shirts hit the floor. Clark turned to Lex and lost himself in a sea of skin, hard and soft, pliant and taut. He gasped as he was licked and kissed, cool night air tingling at the wet marks on his body. He buried his head in Lex's neck and mouthed his own path across delicious flesh. Salty and clean, a scent that Clark recognized as Lex's arousal permeated his nostrils. He twisted until they were entwined, kissing, licking and grinding against one another desperately.
Lex moaned as Clark pushed him onto his back, thrusting hard against Lex's hips. It was unreal, this was impossible--so very different, not the same in any way. This was gentle and rough at the same time, this was give and take. This was nothing like the limo, nothing like the guest room, this was just them and skin and want and need. This was desire and lust and love; he could feel it in every move, every touch, every breath. Clark pushed Lex's hands over his head, wallowing in Lex's body, trying to get closer, to get more.
Lex arched up and then brought his hands down to Clark's hips, grasping Clark's buttocks and grinding harder. "Clark, I'm so close."
Clark whimpered and writhed against Lex, seeking his own release. Lex grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him down for a kiss that turned into a muffled scream as Lex stilled, jerked and then shuddered under him. Clark felt the wet heat soaking through the layers of pajamas and boxers, but he still wasn't there--not quite.
Lex gasped and cursed against Clark's lips, trembled beneath him for a few moments, before pushing Clark over and thrusting Clark's boxers down. Clark's cock was so hard that it jumped each beat of his heart.
"Please, Lex. I want you."
"You're gorgeous. I never knew--" Lex took his cock into his sweat-slick hand and Clark reached for him.
"I need you to kiss me, Lex. Take me there. I'm so close."
Lex licked Clark's lips open and sucked his tongue into his mouth, sucking in rhythm with his hand on Clark's cock. Clark's eyes rolled into his head, he groaned against Lex's mouth, arched into his hand and felt the unbelievable sensation of an orgasm start in his solar plexus, just where the love blossomed, and roll out over his skin, down his spine and out his cock. He screamed as he came hard, pumping over Lex's hand, feeling the hot jets hit his own chest.
Lex kissed him gently, whispering against his mouth, "So beautiful, never knew, wanted so long, so in love with you--"
Clark moaned and shook. This was sex. This was love. The other had been perversion and nothing like the joining that had taken place with Lex. "I love you."
Lex's breath hitched. "Do you, Clark?"
Clark pulled Lex close, drowned in another kiss, then whispered, "So much. I do."
Lex laughed haltingly. "I don't believe it."
Clark's stomach dropped a little. "I do. I love you."
"Shh. Clark, you're--" Lex broke off and began kissing him again. Lips on lips and skin on skin, and they rocked against each other, dragging out the moments.
Clark allowed himself to be turned, Lex kissing his neck and shoulders and back, then spooned from behind. Lex's pajamas had been shucked and his softening cock pressed into Clark's back.
Clark lay awake for a long time in near orgasmic joy at being held in Lex's arms, being brought off by Lex's hand, being kissed and loved and made new.
Until he remembered Lucas and his cruel words in the limo, "It's too late to turn back now. I'm inside you; I'm fucking you. I'll always be your first."
Always be your first.
Clark woke alone and for a moment he didn't believe it had been real. Then he lifted the blankets to find his boxers and Lex's pajamas, soiled and wadded at the foot of the bed. He sat up a little confused and a sick, sinking feeling in his stomach.
Lex was gone.
He opened his ears and listened throughout the apartment and heard nothing. No heartbeat, no pulse, no rustling breaths. No one was there.
Clark rubbed his face with his hands, terror striking his heart. Lucas had left this morning. Lex had seen him off. Lucas had told Lex what had happened. Lex hated him. It was over. He was a total whore, a slut, a ruined, disgusting, fucked up freak.
Last night with Lex had been perfect, amazing, the most important thing to happen to him since he found out that he was an alien, eclipsing even the moment when he first knew that he was in love with Lex and that his only oddity wasn't his alien nature.
Lucas had told him that he was going to tell Lex. He'd taken it back later, but--what if Lex had said or done something and Lucas wanted to hurt him? What if this was the payback? And what was it that Lucas wanted to hurt Lex for anyway? What had Lex ever done to Lucas?
Clark's thoughts swirled with questions. His lack of clarity left him weak and exhausted. Lex could come in and hang Lana's old kryptonite necklace around his neck and he wouldn't even fight him. Clark dragged himself out of the bed, moving toward the shower. He should get ready; he should go home. He'd done enough harm to himself, to Lex. He was damaged goods.
He showered, brushed, found his duffle and pulled on fresh jeans and a clean t-shirt. He buttoned a flannel shirt over it, although it was warm, because the soft material made him feel safe. He stuffed his dirty clothes into his bag and hitched it up onto his shoulder. He could run home; it'd only take a few minutes.
Clark stepped into the hallway and walked slowly over the oriental rug spanning its length. He bit his lip and fought against the harsh screams, the desire to kick into full speed, the need to escape his body, himself. He was a freak. Lex had loved him and he'd ruined it.
Clark's hand had just touched the doorknob--
"Clark? Are you going somewhere?"
Lex, and he sounded so hurt. Clark closed his eyes and turned around slowly. He couldn't look at Lex now. Not now that he knew what he'd done with Lucas. He took a shallow breath and said, "I just thought I should go. I know you don't want me here anymore."
Clark turned to the door and was shocked to feel Lex grasp his arm and yank him around. "What the hell are you talking about, Clark?" Lex sounded angry.
"I--" Clark opened his eyes and swallowed. Lex stared at him with grey, stormy eyes.
"Of course I want you here. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I had to see Lucas off and then I went out to get some fresh bagels; the maid hadn't restocked. I can't believe you would conclude that I didn't want you here simply because--"
Clark sank to the floor in a mixture of horror and relief. Lex followed him down.
"What happened between us last night, Clark--" Lex touched his face gently. "I know it's overwhelming. I shouldn't have rushed it. You just--" Lex shook his head. "I lost control. I'm sorry."
Clark shook his head and reached for Lex, pulling him close. Lex gently ran his fingers through his hair, tucking Clark's head under his chin. "Clark, Jesus, I had no idea you'd react like that, or I never would have left you alone."
He felt hot tears behind his lids and he shut his eyes to prevent them from spilling. Lex didn't know and he was thankful, but Lex didn't know and that meant that he could still find out. Clark tried to recapture some of the hopefulness he'd felt the prior night, but now, after having felt Lex, having held him while he came, he couldn't grasp how he could have been so stupid with Lucas, how he could have sullied himself like that.
And then it snuck into his mind again--drugged. He'd been drugged. At least the first time. He sighed against Lex's chest and Lex squeezed him tightly.
"Let's eat, Clark. You'll feel better after you've had some food."
Clark let Lex tug him up from the floor, watched Lex toss his duffle onto the side table in the hall. He followed him to the breakfast room, which opened up to a beautiful view of the city and sat down at the table. His shoulders sagged and he had to fight the urge to bury his face in his hands.
Lex sat down next to him and Clark felt the warmth of Lex's palm on his knee. "Clark, have I ruined everything?"
Clark felt stabbed. His heart burst. He shook his head wordlessly and bit his tongue hard to keep the sob back. His head dropped to the table and he gasped against the restriction in his chest.
Lex's hands were on his back and his voice low and worried murmured next to him, but Clark couldn't hear anything. He had to tell him. It wasn't going to get better; it would just get worse and if he didn't think he could handle losing Lex now--
"I had sex with your brother."
Lex's hand on his back stilled. Clark sat up and took in a confused and dumbfounded expression. "What?"
"I, uh, I--" Clark couldn't say it while looking into Lex's eyes. He looked at the smudge his forehead had made on the glass of the table. "I had sex with your brother. With Lucas. Sex. Had sex," he muttered, his heart squeezing into his throat. "Twice."
Lex didn't pull away, just grew very, very still. Clark ventured a look up and found that Lex had his eyes shut, an expression of pain in every feature.
He swallowed back a rush of bile.
"When?" Lex whispered.
Clark started shaking. "I love you, Lex. I love you. Please believe that." It was over. It was over. Over. And it had never even really started.
Lex opened his eyes and stared coldly at Clark. "Tell me when, Clark."
"Ye--" Clark swallowed again, bitter taste filling his mouth. "Yesterday."
Lex pulled away with tight control, nearly violent in his restraint. He pushed his chair away from Clark and ran a hand over his face. He didn't look at Clark. "Why?" His voice was so quiet.
"I didn't want to--"
Lex's eyes snapped up. "He forced you?" His eyes narrowed to small slits. "I don't believe that Clark. I have a good idea of how strong you are. Don't deny it right now. Don't look at me and lie."
Clark dropped his eyes and whispered, "He gave me drinks. The first time--they made me feel more drunk that I should have."
Lex shook his head, pushed back from the table hard. "I don't want to hear this. I can't even process this right now." He turned to face the city and then whispered under his breath, "If you ever truly wanted anything between us, Clark, you will wait for me here to talk about this when I'm not blind with the desire to rip you and my brother into shreds and then eat the pieces raw."
His voice was so slow, so sure and deadly that Clark thought that Lex would do just that-- alien, impermeable, indestructible skin be damned. Lex would find a way, find his weakness, destroy him. It was all there in his voice.
Clark quivered with conflicting needs. Run to safety. Stay to take his punishment. Stay to hold on to some hope. "I won't tell you that I can explain--" he dropped his head "--because I can't."
Lex walked out of the room with precise, harsh steps that broke Clark's heart.
Clark didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't want to go back to the guest room, the scene of his most depraved behavior and he didn't feel like he had a right to be in Lex's room, not now. He stayed at the breakfast room table and watched the sun move across the sky. He heard the phone ring in the penthouse; he heard Lex's voice speaking in an undertone. He heard the door slam, the Porsche start, the squeal of tires and Lex's pulse disappeared into the throbbing of the city.
Over. Gone. Lost.
Clark looked at his hands and wanted to die. He tried to remember his life, how he lived, who he was--
It all seemed so foreign, but he didn't understand why. It had been so much him just the day before, just yesterday morning, just sitting at his parent's breakfast table and hoping that this time, this weekend something exciting would happen, something to change his life.
His dad always said, "Be careful what you wish for."
He looked at his hands. No red kryptonite ring. No--it didn't matter, anyway. He'd accepted long ago that these things were part of him; he'd just vowed not to let them out. But he had and he did and he couldn't say that he would never do it again.
Well, never again with Lucas. That was a given. He hated Lucas and hated himself for having taken any kind of pleasure in the humiliation of the sex they'd had together. What was wrong with him that he'd enjoyed that? What part of him felt like he deserved to be treated that way?
He flashed on moments of time, his recent past--
Metropolis, ATMs, guns, masks, fists, blood, pounding music, blinking eyes, open mouths, screams, 'you're a freak', gunshots, blowjobs, alleys, open eyes, closed eyes, time standing still, time frozen in place, time warp speeding ahead, loss, anger, fear, mom crying, dad yelling, 'didn't your mother and I ever teach you about consequences', hate, rage, Kal-El, ruined, explosions, time ending--
Oh-so-many reasons he didn't deserve any better. He was a freak and a damaged person. He could drown in guilt if he wanted to and, right now, that pool looked good. It beckoned with glittering oblivion. He could just open up and take it in. Breathe it down. Lose it all.
He shook his head and clenched his fists. No. No, this wasn't his life. That wasn't how he was meant to be and if Lucas Luthor had brought that to the surface, it was a testament to Lucas' sickness. He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. Lex would return; he said he'd come back.
Clark breathed in and out, releasing tension, working on his speech. He had to have words for Lex when he came back. Words that would mean something, words that might let Lex forgive him.
Words--he was never good at words.
Clark didn't hear the footsteps; he was too intent on the sounds of his own blood in his veins. It whooshed, it whirred, it clicked at valves, it spoke of his life in ways that Clark didn't understand, but wanted to know intimately.
His blood stopped cold.
He looked up to see Lex standing with hands in pockets, eyes calm, well, compared to earlier, and his back relaxed. "Clark, we need to talk. Now."
He swallowed. "Yeah. I know."
Lex retreated to the doorway and indicated that Clark should follow. Rising on stiff legs, checking to make sure his heart was working again, Clark was surprised to find it beating. He felt so dead inside.
He followed Lex into the entertainment room, the pool table, the video games, the big screen television taunting him with memories of past, easy interaction between them. Interaction that would have one day led to what happened last night without the taint of the horror from yesterday.
Clark dropped to the sofa without a word, a hollow space where his thoughts might be. He tried to force the words he'd rehearsed into his mind, he'd need them soon.
"Clark, I spoke to Lucas--"
Clark looked up, his eyes probably reflecting his horror. Lex had talked to Lucas? He'd let Lucas tell his side of the story before Clark?
"Not too long ago, I broke up a situation that Lucas was involved in that wasn't--entirely legal. Apparently, he'd put a lot of effort into that scam and thought that I needed to be taught a lesson." Lex shook his head and ran his hands over his face before meeting Clark's eyes again. "I never would have thought he would get you involved in what is essentially family business. But, apparently, Lucas is still testing his boundaries."
Clark gaped at Lex.
"Lucas isn't interested in hurting you, Clark. I know that you probably don't see it that way; I know that I certainly don't and, believe me, Lucas will have his tail between his legs for years to come for daring to use his machinations against someone I love in an attempt to hurt me."
"What did he say?" Clark choked out.
Lex sighed. "He told me that you fought him, that he'd drugged you, that he made sure--" Lex broke off and cracked his knuckles angrily "--you enjoyed it. That it wasn't anything personal."
Clark swallowed. So far it seemed like Lucas was telling a version that was close to the truth. He nodded.
"Clark, Lucas also said that the second encounter was obviously distasteful to you also, that you seemed to feel you deserved it." Lex looked up, his eyes sad and hurt. "Did you want to be punished, Clark?"
Clark took a shaky breath. "Yeah. I could've stopped him. I--" He forced himself to meet Lex's eyes. "I knew that I could stop him. You're right, Lex. I'm strong. He's no match for me. But I--felt drugged and--" Clark screwed his face up, his mouth tasting sour at the words he had to say next. "It felt good. I--he told me to think of you and I did. I--God, Lex, I had an orgasm, both times."
Lex nodded and ran a hand over his head. "Tell me what happened, Clark. I need to hear it from you."
"I should tell you everything."
"Start with this first. We'll make a decision about the other later. No need to give me more power than necessary before we know how this will all turn out."
Clark's heart thudded dully in his throat. He opened his mouth and let it all out, any word that would grant him the gift of its presence in his mind. "I didn't want him. I want you. I've always wanted you, Lex. I've loved you forever. I thought--" He took a breath. "I thought you didn't want me. Well, I wasn't sure, but that has nothing to do with this because I was so happy to be coming to see you. I didn't want to ride with Lucas, but I thought, what the hell? And then he offered me a drink. It'd been a long time, since I was in Metropolis last summer, and I said okay and he gave it to me."
"It was strong. I thought it was because it'd been so long, but alcohol has never affected me like that before. I drank it and Lucas asked if I wanted another. I felt good, it was warm and the trees outside looked like liquid and I said okay. Then--" Clark shuddered, remembering. "He was on me. He was whispering that he needed my help, that he owed you something and he was stroking me through my pants."
Lex's face was stiff, angry. "You didn't say 'no'?"
"I did! I did so many times and I told him to stop. I thought about dumping him out on the road, but I couldn't get my arms and legs to work right. And--and it had been a long time since anyone had touched me. I--" Clark shook his head. "It felt good. I was kind of lost in this haze and he was telling me that you wanted to give me my first blow job." Clark looked up blushing hard. Lex regarded him coldly. "I told him that I'd had blow jobs before. That was a mistake."
Lex shifted in his seat and nodded. "You've had girlfriends. I'm not surprised that you'd experienced that."
"Yeah--girlfriends. And some, uh--" Clark looked at his hands and mumbled, "Some guys in Metropolis last year when I was, uh, high."
Lex made a strange sound, but his eyes remained hollow when Clark looked up at him. "Go on, Clark."
"He fucked me. I, uh, liked it. It felt good," Clark whispered. He kept his eyes down and prayed that would be enough. Condemnation a forgone conclusion.
"You liked it."
"The sex, yeah. Not that it was Lucas. I, uh, almost threw up. Then the second time, I did throw up. It was disgusting. I was disgusting." Clark's voice caught in a dry sob.
"Why did you do it the second time?"
Clark's breath shook. "He picked the locks and got into my room. I came out of the shower and he was there. I told him to go. He came closer." Clark bit down hard on his lip and stifled another broken sound. "I don't know, Lex! I don't know. I can't tell you. I was insane for a minute. I wanted to be hurt; I knew he could make me feel; it was so overwhelming and I was already so fucking broken inside. I'm a freak. I'm a total and complete--"
Lex interrupted, his hand on Clark's lips, "Shh. Clark, you're a human being. We make mistakes, sometimes very bad ones."
Clark's throat constricted. Lex pulled his hand away and leaned back again, obviously taking a moment to consider Clark's confession.
"I'm not a human being."
Lex looked up, eyes angry again. "Clark, if you ever say those words to anyone else, so help me--"
"Clark, be silent. Stop talking." Lex leaned over and whispered. "Never say those words aloud. Never."
Clark nodded and held Lex's gaze. "I promise."
Lex took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. Clark had to know. "Is it over, Lex? Do you hate me now?"
Lex's eyes drifted closed and he swallowed hard. "Forgiveness was never my strong suite. I'm working hard here, Clark. I'd forgotten how very young you are, how very fucked up my family is--"
"I don't care, Lex. I love you. I want to be with you, if you can forgive me, if you can take me back--"
Lex snorted softly and opened his eyes. "Take you back? Clark--" he leaned forward intensely "--I will never let you go."
Clark thought his blood should have run cold at the note of possessiveness in Lex's voice, but it didn't.
It felt right.
Clark looked up from the box of Chinese take-out when he got the nerve to ask. "What about Lucas?"
The gaze that met his own chilled Clark's bones. "He'll be dealt with."
"What are you going to do to him?"
Lex smirked. "Don't worry, Clark it will be okay." Lex took a bite of chicken and chewed it slowly.
Clark considered him for a long moment and then asked, "Lex, why would he tell you the truth? Why does he care?"
"Clark, it's complicated and so unbelievably dysfunctional, but there is a constant war in my family and all is fair in love and war. However, even a Luthor knows when they've crossed the line and he really didn't have anything against you, Clark. I know it must be difficult to understand and I'm not condoning his behavior. I assure you, he will pay for what he's done."
"But he was honest with you--."
Lex shook his head, bemusedly. "It isn't about that, Clark. I put a stop to a scam that Lucas had been designing and preparing to implement for over three years. He tried to hurt me back by touching you. I'm simply reframing the lesson for him."
An uncomfortable feeling wound through Clark's stomach. "I don't want you to hurt him."
"Of course not. He's my brother." Lex looked at him as though he were insane. "Don't worry about it, Clark. It isn't anything you need to think about any more. I'm taking care of it."
Lex lifted some chicken with his chop-sticks and directed it toward Clark's mouth. "Open."
Clark opened, chewed, swallowed.
Part of Clark feared the bedroom--once they were there, he would see how Lex planned to really treat him. The memory of the love they had made together the night before could be tainted with a violent claiming or an angry punishment.
But he would take what he could get. He loved Lex; he would give him whatever he needed to earn forgiveness.
Lex pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and climbed into the bed. He turned onto his side and stared at Clark. "Coming to bed?"
He nodded and tugged his shirt off and shucked his jeans, leaving just his boxers. He climbed beneath the covers and Lex shifted toward him. "Come here."
Clark scooted over and Lex pulled him down until his head rested on Lex's chest, long fingers twining into his hair. "Clark, don't be so frightened. I still feel the same way about you. Well, not exactly the same way. I'm redefining you in my mind."
Lex didn't say anything about love.
Clark moved his head to rub his lips against Lex's skin, tentatively brushing his tongue over Lex's nipple. It came erect immediately and Clark tasted it again. Lex's hand gripped in his hair and he gasped. "Fuck."
Clark pulled his head up and whispered, "Do you still love me?" He felt so pathetic.
Lex's lips turned down in a sad expression. "Oh, Clark. Come here."
Clark moved up until he was gazing into Lex's eyes. Lex kissed him gently, tongue sweet and soft, licking into his mouth. Clark moaned and allowed Lex to turn them over, the gentled feeling of Lex moving over him, pushing his knees up to his shoulders and then Lex's mouth moved down, down, down over his throat, his chest, brushed across nipples, dipped into his belly button and lapped the pearled come from the head of Clark's cock. Lex licked down his shaft, over his balls and Clark jerked as Lex's tongue touched his asshole.
"Oh, God, Lex--stop."
Lex pulled away and murmured against his thigh. "Clark, let me taste you. I want to have you."
Anything, anything, anything that Lex wanted. Clark whimpered and didn't struggle when Lex put his mouth on him again, licking his ass, and he felt himself relaxing, opening under the sweet assault. He squirmed and groaned when Lex fucked him with his tongue; he hitched his legs higher, letting Lex have more access and it felt too good, too fucking hot and he felt his ass opening under the stimulation.
Lex climbed up over him again, stopping to kiss the head of his cock, the place where his sternum poked up, each nipple, his throat and finally he whispered against Clark's lips. "Love you? Everything about you."
Clark opened his mouth as Lex kissed him, tasting himself on Lex's tongue, sweet and dark. "Lex, I want to taste you, too."
Lex laughed. "So eager."
Clark froze. Lucas's words a sudden loop in his brain. Eager, little fuck. Knew you'd love it, Clark. Just needed a taste.
Lex gazed at him in concern. "Clark?"
Clark couldn't move, time frozen, standing still, explosions and ATMs. Metropolis and tears and his mother's grief. Lucas fucking him, coming inside of him.
"Oh, God!" Clark struggled away from Lex. "He was right. I'm ruined. You shouldn't touch me, Lex."
He sat on the edge of the bed, chest heaving with each breath, trying to move, trying to start time again and get his clothes on so that he could leave like he should have hours ago, yesterday, he never should have come.
"Clark. Clark!" Lex grabbed his arm and jerked him around. "Whatever you're thinking, whatever he said or did--" Lex grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. "He lied. Clark, you're mine and we can do anything to each other. Anything and it isn't gross, or wrong or depraved. I want you to want me. I want you to be eager for me. Clark--are you even listening to me?"
Clark was open-mouthed and near tears. He let Lex push him down into the bed, let Lex cradle him.
"I'm sorry, Clark. I moved too fast. You've been traumatized. We need to take this slowly and I, of all people, should know that. Just take a deep breath, babe. A slow breath. That's it."
Clark relaxed under Lex's hands and let himself be gentled. He rested back on the pillows and slipped down to curl on his side, Lex pressed to his back, hands stroking his flanks.
Hours passed and they lay curled together, Lex talking softly, telling strange mixtures of stories that Clark seemed to get confused with one another. Samurai and Shakti, Venus and Liir, Churchill and Nostradamus--it really made no sense, but it was Lex and he didn't hate him and Clark could sleep now, could rest.
Clark woke with Lex's erection nestled into the crack of his ass. His own erection thudded dully, aching endlessly. He shifted and pressed back against Lex, turning slightly to see that Lex watched him with half-open eyes.
Clark nodded and turned to Lex, opening his mouth for a kiss that came readily. He closed his eyes and moved to the rhythm that he needed, friction from Lex's hip, and hands roaming to touch as much skin as he could.
He pressed closer and tossed his leg over Lex's hip, needing to be as close as possible, needing to join with Lex in every way. "Please, Lex. I want you to do it."
Lex mumbled and ran a hand down Clark's back, touching his ass. "You're too tempting. Don't do this, Clark. It's too fast."
Clark pushed Lex onto his back and rubbed his body over him. "Need you. I want to feel you, feel it with love." He didn't stop moving until Lex cursed under his breath, rolled over to the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube.
"Clark, goddammit--" Lex grabbed a handful of his hair and kissed his mouth hard enough to bruise another person, probably bruising himself. Clark closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensations, a one word chant taking up space in his mind--Lex, Lex, Lex.
He rolled to his back, hitched his legs up and pulled Lex down for more kisses when he felt the slick roll of fingers over his hole. He pushed against the two gaining entrance and felt the world open around him as they moved inside of him. Lex murmured something about needing to slow down and Clark shook his head. "No, now. Now, Lex. Now."
Lex groaned and the fingers pulled away. Clark cried out, "Don't leave me. I need you."
"Shh. Clark, baby, shh. God--" Lex leaned over him, soothing a hand across his forehead. "Shh."
And then he felt Lex's cock, strong, thick and hard, he opened for it like it belonged in him. He felt the burn of stretched skin, but this time with a new sensation: a feedback loop between his cock and heart. He was burning for Lex. Burning and opening and taking him in.
"Lex--" Clark opened his eyes and felt the heat pouring from all of his pores. He closed his eyes again, must be careful--too much heat and all would be over. "Lex."
Lex's cock twitched inside of him, not even fully sheathed and Lex whispered that he should stay still, stay quiet, it was too much and he wouldn't last. Clark fought the urge to lift up and impale himself. He did as he was told, whimpering when he couldn't handle the ecstasy of it for a moment longer. Then Lex was breathing on his neck, choking breaths that sounded too close to agony, but had to be pleasure because Lex was saying, "So good, so fucking good. Love you, always, always."
Clark moaned and ran his hands down Lex's back, grasped his ass and pushed. Lex arched back as Clark ground the last two inches of cock into himself. "Fuck, Clark."
He couldn't hold still, not now. He needed to move--the sensation of being filled, filled with Lex, so good, so strong and right. He began a slow roll of his hips and Lex thrust back hard. Their lips touched, licked, lapped. Clark lost all sense of time and space, rolling with the fuck and moaning his love, his need, his endless devotion. Lex fucked him hard and it was so different and so necessary. It was fusion.
Clark bit down on his own tongue when the orgasm came; it ripped him wide open and laid him bare, emotionally and physically, in its wake. Lex buried his face in Clark's neck and reamed him without mercy, leading Clark to a second, dry orgasm that hurt with a raw, razor-like intensity. Then Lex kissed him, bit his lip hard and came, face crumbling, mouth open and eyes rolled into his head. Clark held him through the shocks, melting into him.
When Lex pulled away, the separateness seemed wrong and threatening. Clark curled up next to him and allowed the slow, gentle petting to soothe his fear.
But fear wasn't so easily alleviated in the light of day. Lex was gone when he woke up and Clark's panic was nearly enough to kill him. He felt like kryptonite had been shot into his veins. He lay in bed in a stupor until he heard the thud of Lex's pulse heading up in the elevators.
He sat up and stared at the door. X-rayed it and watched as Lex sauntered down the hall, a bag in his hand. His heart pounded unreasonably.
Lex opened the door and Clark stared at him as he lifted the bag up. "Breakfast. I hope you like hashbrowns."
Clark licked his lips. "Yeah."
Lex sat down on the bed and touched his face. "You have to go home today. How are you going to deal with this fear of yours when you get home?"
Clark looked at him in surprise. Lex smiled sadly. "I love you. I can't do anything more to convince you than to tell you and to hold you. But, Clark--" Lex shook his head. "You have to stop beating yourself up over Lucas. It wasn't your fault. Not entirely."
"I want to believe that."
"Do you want me to come to Smallville for awhile? I can do that, you know. I don't have to work from Metropolis."
Clark couldn't comprehend it all. "Why are you being so understanding, Lex?"
Lex leaned forward and kissed him softly. "There are many reasons, not the least of which is that you're mine and I can forgive you so long as you understand that now. In addition, I've been your age and I haven't forgotten the poor decisions I made. And, lastly, you were drugged and manipulated by a Luthor--it's easy to see how this could have happened." Lex touched his lips softly. "Then that whole love thing, but I really think we've said enough about that for awhile."
Clark blushed. "Maybe."
"I'll make a few phone calls and drive you home, myself. I'll stay in town for awhile and we'll see how you feel, okay?"
Clark couldn't believe the relief that bloomed in his stomach. Lex--home with him in Smallville. "Okay."
Lex stood up. "Now, you eat. I'm going to make those calls."
Clark looked up, smiling. "Lex?"
"I'm eager for you."
Lex laughed. "Just give me five minutes and I'll see what I can do about that."
Clark ducked his head and blushed, opened the bag and pulled out his breakfast. Five minutes. He could be away from Lex for five minutes.
Still, he let his ears track Lex through the penthouse. And the thud of his heart, the rush of his pulse was Clark's timepiece.