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Lex had been married six times in the last eight years. Now he was on the phone telling Clark about the newest future Mrs. Luthor.
"You'll love her, Clark. She's great." Clark could hear Lex smiling.
"No, I won't love her." Clark was exasperated. How long could he wait for Lex to see what was right in front of him? "I never liked any of them." Lex was silent so Clark went on, "Well, ok, I liked the first Helen and, really, Helen the second wasn't that bad, but Catherine and Jane were terrible. We won't even talk about Desiree. Anne? I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with her. So I doubt I'll like this one."
"Helen," Lex said inexplicably.
"What?"
"My fiancee's name is Helen."
"What is wrong with you, Lex?" Clark couldn't take it anymore. Did Lex go to Germany just to find women named Helen? How many of them could there be? If Lex kept this up he was going to have start dating the elderly.
"What do you mean, Clark?" Clark could see just how Lex's brows must be drawing together.
"We need to talk, Lex. When are you going be back in the country? We should meet before you do anything, before you marry anyone else."
"Are you ok?" Lex asked. Clark wondered if he and Lex were even having the same conversation.
"STOP GETTING MARRIED!" Clark shouted, unsure if even that would get through Lex's thick head.
"What?" Lex sounded utterly confused.
"I mean," Clark said softly, realizing this was going to be much harder than he wanted it to be, "Let's meet as soon as you are home and talk about this."
"Ok, I'll be back tomorrow. Where?"
"What time are you coming in? I'll meet you at the penthouse."
Clark resisted the urge to crush the phone after Lex disconnected. Another marriage. Surely another brunette with arched brows and high cheek-bones.
Maybe Clark never would have realized that all of Lex's wives looked like they could be Clark's sister if Chloe hadn't pointed it out, but now that he knew, Clark couldn't believe he hadn't seen it from the beginning.
He'd been in love with Lex since high school. For a while he thought maybe all Lex's flirting actually meant something, that maybe Lex had felt the same. But Clark was young, nervous and scared. He waited for Lex to make a move and Lex never did. Lex just kept getting married over and over. Clark finally gave up, resigned himself to being alone, to being Lex's friend forever.
But then Chloe had found his photo album, the one that contained pictures of all of Lex's weddings. Clark had been best man at four of them. The other two, Helen the second and Anne, had happened while Lex was out of the country and occurred too fast for Clark to even fly in for them. But Clark had pictures of all of the weddings. They were like time markers in his life with Lex. He wondered sometimes if Lex's attorney kept a stack of preprinted pre-nuptial agreements in the top drawers of his desk, a template ready to print the latest Mrs. Luthor's information right in.
Chloe had seen the similarity and had made Clark stand in front of the mirror while she held each picture up next to him. He wondered if he hadn't been right from the beginning. Lex really did want Clark. He just couldn't admit it, even to himself.
Lex was coming back tomorrow. Clark would be waiting for him when he arrived. He'd go to the penthouse early. The penthouse was really their place. None of Lex's wives had lived there. The Smallville Mansion, the New York Estate, the apartment in Paris all belonged to Lex's wives in one way or another, but the penthouse was Lex's. And Clark's. It was the right place for Clark to fill Lex in on the details he'd been busy blinding himself too.
Lex worked the entire flight back from Europe. He was exhausted as he entered the penthouse. Soft music played somewhere inside and Lex followed it to its source. He found the table set, the lights low, Shostakovich's 15th symphony on the CD player. Dinner was on the counter, but no one was in sight.
Lex went down the hall, checking the office and the bedrooms and finally he found Clark, sprawled easily over the couch watching cartoons in the entertainment room. He observed him for several seconds, glad to see his friend.
"Lex," Clark sat up, his smile lighting the room. "You're early." Clark stood and crossed the room.
"Yeah, I caught an earlier flight." Lex stiffened a little as Clark hugged him, but it was easy and comfortable and he relaxed into it, glad to come home to his best friend at the end of a grueling trip.
Clark stepped back and gave Lex a once over.
"You look tired." Clark looked happy. Or at least happier than Lex had seen him in a long time. "Why don't you go clean up and I'll get dinner ready for you." Clark kissed Lex on the cheek as he passed into the hall.
It wasn't until Lex was stepping into the shower that he realized that Clark had never kissed him before. It felt so natural. Just a friendly peck. Nothing wrong with a little affection between friends. Maybe Clark was trying to be European or something.
Lex showered and dressed quickly. Europe had been a whirl-wind of meetings and press conferences. The prospect of dinner and an evening spent in good company looked marvelous to Lex.
Clark had always been great to talk to, but since college he was the only person who would stay up all night with Lex arguing about philosophy. And, since he'd begun working at the Planet, Clark was always full interesting facts and stories. There certainly wasn't anyone else Lex enjoyed being with in the way he enjoyed being with Clark.
The table was filled with food, the room lit with candles. Clark was drinking wine and while he looked decidedly nervous about something, he definitely looked more settled than Lex had ever seen him. What had he said to Lex on the phone? "We need to talk." Clark must have met someone finally. Lex braced himself to begin Lana Round Two. It had been so long since Clark had dated anyone that Lex would probably have to start at square one with the dating advice.
They filled their plates in companionable silence. Lex was a little surprised that Clark seemed to have remembered everything Lex really liked. It was an excellent dinner, exactly what Lex would have chosen for himself if he were indulging.
Dinner conversation was weeks of catch up. Interesting stories Clark had a covered at work and European mergers Lex was planning. Lex assumed Clark hesitance to talk about their personal lives was because Clark was shy about his new love, but Lex was dying to know.
"So, who is she?" Lex smiled over his dessert at Clark.
"I think I should be asking you that, Lex." Clark set down his fork, his plate unsurprisingly clean.
"Why?" Was it someone Lex knew? Maybe his new secretary? She'd asked a lot of questions about Clark the last few times he'd been by the office.
"Your wife?"
"My what?" Lex's confusion grew by leaps and bounds.
"The next Mrs. Lex Luthor in a long line of them. Isn't that what we're here to talk about?" Clark asked. When Lex didn't answer right away he said, "Leave the plates, pour yourself a drink and let's go talk."
The air was tense as they settled on the couch. Clark turned his body to face Lex.
"So, you're getting married. Again." Lex was sure he heard disdain in Clark's voice. "Tell me about her."
"Well she's got dark brown hair..."
"...and she's a reporter," Clark interjected, rolling his eyes.
"Why are you rolling your eyes?" Lex asked.
"Lex, don't you see a pattern?"
"A pattern?" Clark was clearly having problems with something. "With dark haired reporters?"
"YES! Exactly!" Clark exclaimed, looking excited. Lex began to wonder if all the exposure to meteor rocks in Smallville had damaged Clark's brain in some way. Lex frowned staring into his glass trying to guess what Clark was getting at. Did he know many reporters?
"Well, you're a dark haired reporter and your partner, Lois, has dark hair. I guess that would be three dark haired reporters in my life, yes." Lex looked up to see Clark deflate.
"No, Lex. A bigger pattern about all of your wives."
"Bigger?"
Clark raised his eyebrows. "They all look like me? Doesn't that tell you something, Lex?"
"What are you trying to say, Clark?"
"Look, you are going to have to figure this out for yourself. It's the only way. I'll come by tomorrow, okay?"
Clark gathered his things and Lex walked him to the door, feeling tense and confused. Stopping with his hand on the knob, Clark turned and kissed Lex. Full on the mouth. Open. Wet. Deep. And then he was gone.
Lex sank to the floor, his knees buckling under him.
Clark didn't bother calling before he went to Lex's the next evening. Lex had called 26 times last night and today. He never left a message but Clark's cell had caller ID. He hoped Lex had had enough time to think about this. He hoped Lex had finally admitted to himself what he really wanted.
Lex looked incredibly relieved when Clark came in.
"Where have you been? I tried to call."
"I know. I wanted to make sure you had enough time to think." Clark felt calm for the first time in days. Lex seemed genuinely glad to see him.
"Clark, I..."
"No, Lex," Clark cut him off. "Please, let me start." Clark swallowed and readied himself to finally tell the truth. He reached for Lex's hand and held it in his lap to steady himself.
"Lex, I hated all of your ex-wives. I was horribly jealous of each of them. Because they had what I'd wanted for years and I couldn't even tell you how I felt."
"You should have said something. I would have..."
"Would have what? Dated a high school boy? Left your wife for some college kid? No, the time wasn't right and I couldn't tell you, you had to figure it out for yourself."
"I'm sorry, Clark." Lex reached up and stroked his hair. "I can't believe how dense I've been. I usually consider myself an intelligent man."
"It wasn't fair. It was so hard to be nice to them, Lex. They had you and I'm...," Clark sniffled.
"You're what?"
Clark looked up wide-eyed and serious, "I'm so much prettier than any of them! And I couldn't even get you to pay attention to me!"
Lex laughed. "You are so much prettier than any of them." Lex twisted his fingers tight into Clark's hair and leaned in.
"Especially Anne," Clark continued, his mouth inches from Lex's. "She was so bad. She didn't even look that much like me, except her hair. And her scary man-hands."
Clark felt the vibration of Lex's laughter as their lips met and everything ceased to exist but the two of them.
Clark knew there wouldn't be a seventh wife.
~finis~