Sweet Grass: Evermore
Sweet Grass: Evermore
....................................... This fourth story comes after Sweet Grass: Always .......................................
After the third ring Clark picked the phone up lifting it to his ear. "Hey Lex, what's up?"
"I wanted to know if you'd like to come over the mansion to play some pool or watch some movies?"
Clark thought for a moment. "Um... that'd be fun but I promised Chloe and Lana that I'd work on a term paper with them."
"It's fine, I've just had more time on my hands than usual. Thought it would be nice to spend some of it with you." Lex said.
"Maybe we can put it on hold for another night." Clark said switching the phone to his other ear.
"Sure, well I've got to go, so I'll talk to you later."
He waited until Lex hung up the phone and then he did the same.
"Why did you lie to him?" Jor-El asked.
"I didn't lie."
"Then what do you call not having to study with people and telling your friend that you do?"
Clark didn't answer. He couldn't take the chance of being alone with Lex right now... his feelings were changing and that scared him. And that was only because he knew he wanted Lex so much.
"You're scared to be intimate with him?" Jor-El asked.
"No." Clark started. "I'm scared of what will happen once we're in a relationship... of what he'll do or think about me."
"The real you." Jor-El added. "You could tell him Kal-El."
"I can't tell him." Clark stated to Jor-El.
"Why, because Jonathan says you can't?"
"NO!" Clark spat back. That was part of it, but he really just couldn't take Lex looking at him like he was some kind of freak like Lana had when he was in Metropolis. He just couldn't take that again... especially from him.
Jor-El tipped his head back towards his son. "Why then? Are you afraid of what might happen... of what he might think of you."
Clark looked at his feet. "You have to understand, I don't want to lose my friendship with him. Jonath- my dad is already trying to keep us apart. I don't want to give him any real reasons to have Lex permanently kept away from me. Lex doesn't deserve to have to go through that pain."
Jor-El smiled as he sat on the couch in the loft. "He wants to know you Clark, he talked with me."
Clark panicked at that. His father talked with Lex about him? Shit!
"What did you say to him? What did he say about me?"
"Just like I told Lex, if you want answers you have to go and talk with him." Jor-El informed.
"Can't you just tell me?" Clark asked.
"He asked me where I was from."
Clark looked at his father. "What did you say?"
"I said nothing. Told him it wasn't important, but the fact Kal-El is that he's figured it out all by himself. He just needs to hear it from you. He's waiting, as a person who cares and loves you, for you to come to him and tell him everything."
Clark thought about the last line of what Jor-El was telling him... Lex, wanted him to come to him because he... he loved him?
Jor-El saw his son walk to the loft window. A deep sadness filled his mind. Something that had been long sense pushed deep within Clark.
"I can't..." Clark trembled. "I can't... don't want him to look at me that way."
Jor-El realized that for him personally it may have been easier to hide or admit to being a Kryptonian, but for his son, and having lived almost his whole life here on Earth, it was the hardest thing to do, to say... to hide. And to have to hide it from someone you respect and love so much. Clark had no weaknesses and besides the meteor rock there was only one person whom could scare him, and not because he feared him physically, but rather his reactions. His emotions to how he will take hearing that Clark had lied to him. Maybe sending his son here hadn't been the best of options. In doing so he had put Clark in a binding struggle with his emotions. When he himself had been presented with the decision to stay for love or leave he'd known he had to leave. He very much knew what it was like to love someone so much that you feared his or her reaction to the truth. Would that someone smile and hug you? Would they stare at you and push away any feelings that they had? Or would the fact of knowing that you couldn't trust them enough to tell them break apart what threads of that love that were left?
Clark hadn't seen Jor-El sense they had last talked. He hadn't seen Lex either. He hoped that that wasn't where he had disappeared. Something about the two of them together bothered Clark. Having them both talking didn't make for good thoughts. Jor-El was too close to giving Lex the answers he was looking for. In his eyes this caused no problem, but to him his entire world with Lex as he'd known it wouldn't exist any longer. God he wanted to tell Lex everything so badly. Let all the secrets just roll off his tongue. No more hiding, no more guilt because he had to lie again to his best friend. Maybe if he told Lex this he could then tell him about how he truly felt... yet if he showed Lex his heart, it would be so easy to stop the lying. What the hell was he thinking? One thing was for certain; he couldn't keep avoiding the truth, because Lex would only go along with it for so long before he took matters into his own hands. .........
Lex passed Jor-El a glass of scotch. "Try it, you may find you like it."
And he did, very much.
"What do the two of you find to talk about?"
Lex looked up from pouring himself a drink. "Who?"
"You and Clark."
Hm. Yes him and Clark. Lately it wasn't the best of things to have him start up a conversation with the boy, well unless it totally didn't involve his life. That pretty much left the conversation options on his own life, and that would go nowhere slowly. "Um... his school, the farm, sometimes my work." Lex replied.
"That can't be the extent of it. Do you not talk about things of interest to you both?" Jor-El asked with skepticism.
"Clark doesn't give me much room to talk to him about anything that involves him in just about any way."
"He's scared that's why?"
Lex cocked his head to one side. "Scared? But why?"
"He told me not to say anything to you, but seeing as that the circumstances are drastically creating tension between the two of you, I see it necessary that you know the truth."
"You do? I mean should you really be telling me anything about Clark without him knowing?"
Jor-El pulled Lex down onto the leather couch beside himself. "I will tell you one of the many important puzzle pieces in understanding my son, and in knowing this you will have to talk with him."
Lex nodded. He would finally begin to understand Clark in a way that could let Clark know that he truly wanted to be with him and didn't care about who he was, or what he had done. Nothing Clark was or wasn't would change how he felt about the boy. Though it did pain him to know that he had to hear the confirmation to what he'd known from the boy's father.
"Clark! What do you think you're doing?" Chloe spat. She'd just walked in to have him leaning over her computer in the Torch office reading through all of her personal notes and e-mails. He didn't back away, and if he had heard her he sure as hell wasn't paying her any notice.
"Clark, those are personal." She pushed him gently to the side shutting her inbox. "Care to explain why you felt it necessary to do something like this without asking me first?"
Chloe turned to face him and a startled cry fell from her lips, I mean it was to high pitch to be from Clark so it had to have been from her mouth... right? This wasn't Clark... it sure as hell looked like him, but she just knew it wasn't him.
"Who are you?!" She asked with tension in her voice. She moved slowly around the corner of the desk her right hand behind her searching for something... an object... anything. It came in contact with, round; yes it was a paperweight. At least it felt like one.
She rushed around the side of the desk paperweight in hand ready to throw the object just incase this Clark imposter decided to pull any crap.
"Who are you and what were you doing? What are you looking for?" She watched him stand his ground. "Did Lionel Luthor send you?"
"Chloe why are you... what are you two doing?"
"Lana watch out that's not Clark!"
Just as the Clark imposter turned to look where the other voice had come from Chloe rushed at him pushing him at the file cabinet. Grabbing Lana by the wrist the two pulled the door closed.
"Go find Clark Lana, hurry." Chloe said as she locked the man in the room. This way she could see for sure that that really wasn't Clark and find out whom was in this room.
"What do you mean you have this guy locked in the Torch office?" Clark asked Lana.
"Just what I said. I was on my way to talk to her about our term paper and I saw her backed up behind the desk. She seemed to have something in her hand. Ready to throw at you."
"ME?" Clark asked. Oh no... it must have been Jor-El.
"Well not you apparently. When the guy heard my voice he turned and just stared at me with this wide-eyed look that you see animals get when they're caught in the headlights. That's when Chloe pushed him away and grabbed me. She locked him in the room." Lana stated.
"And he's still in there?" He asked grabbing her shoulders.
"Clark, is something wrong? Do you know that guy?" But he was off running towards the Torch office before she could even get an answer.
"Oh thank whatever god there is." Chloe pulled Clark near the locked door. "He tried to attack me!"
Clark could barely see through the shade that was pulled over the opening in the door.
"Did he do anything to you?"
"He was looking through my e-mails when I walked in. I thought he was you Clark." Chloe said wide-eyed. "
"How'd you know it wasn't me?" He asked.
"Come on Clark, given that I've known you forever. I'd like to think that I could tell the difference between you and some meteor freak."
Clark cringed. He wouldn't exactly call Jor-El a meteor mutant of any kind.
"So what are we going to do?"
Great! Lana was still here. It was bad enough that Chloe had seen him, but now Lana too? What the heck had Jor-El been thinking coming to his school?
"Well, I'm going in." He said. He felt Chloe grabbing his arm.
"Have you totally lost your mentality!? We don't even know who that person is. For all we know Lionel could have sent some secret agent to snoop through all my personal files."
For a brief moment Clark wondered if Chloe watched the X-Files too much.
"I'll be fine, I know who he is." He took the key from Chloe's hand unlocking the door.
Inside the room there was no one there.
"He's gone?" Lana said looking about the room.
"I swear to you Clark that I wasn't making it up."
"I know. I saw him." He answered. He needed to have a very serious talk with Jor-El when he saw him next. And now what was he supposed to do about Chloe and Lana?
"Please not now Chloe. I'll e-mail you ok, promise, but right now I have to go and find him."
Chloe let him pass. He better explain because she wasn't going to let this slide.
"Where is he?"
"You know exactly who I'm talking about Lex. Where's Jor-El?"
"I'm right here."
Clark turned to see Jor-El standing at the purple pool table cue stick in hand.
"What the hell were you thinking? You coming to my school, going through Chloe's e-mail!"
Clark was mad... he was beyond mad, and what the hell was Jor-El doing here in Lex's house. When he'd come home from school his parents had told him that they hadn't seen Jor-El all day. So he'd looked on the streets, the Talon, everywhere but Lex's. So finally he did come here, a last resort, and what do you know. Jor-El had been here all along... with Lex, his best friend, playing pool damn it.
"Clark calm down."
"Lex don't you dare tell me to calm down, and you... is this where you've been all the times I couldn't find you? Here with Lex?"
"I was simply wondering if the girl had feeling for you Clark." Jor-El said making his shot.
"But you had no right. Do you realize that now both Lana and Chloe are asking me all these questions? Will you stop playing and look at me."
Jor-El placed the pool stick back on the rack. "What would you like me to do Clark?"
"We can't talk here." He looked towards Lex and then to the floor. He saw the raw hurt in his friend's eyes. God what was he doing... what was Jor-El doing.
"Thanks for the drink and the game Lex."
His father touched Lex's shoulder and Clark felt a stab of jealousy.
"Lets go to the farm then." Jor-El said walking past him.
Clark turned back to Lex.
"I'll call you Lex, is that ok?" He saw Lex nod then turn back to the small liquor bar he was standing at. He couldn't mistake the pain still in those blue eyes.
Martha could here Clark talking to Jor-El in his room. She stood at the bottom of the stairs. A few times her son would raise his voice and then it would lower as she heard the more somber tone of Jor-El's. She couldn't quite make out the words but nonetheless she knew that the two were not on good terms at this point. And from the name that kept coming up she knew that it had something to do with Lex Luthor.
"Are you and Lex best friends now or something?" Clark asked bitterness very evident in his voice.
"I enjoy his company."
"He's supposed to be my friend." Clark knew very well that he sounded like a child. But ever sense Jor-El showed up and started hanging out with Lex, it seemed that his own relationship with Lex was dwindling.
"You make it so Kal-El."
"How do I make it that way?" Clark asked anger in his voice. "And stop reading my thoughts." He knew that Jor-El would not.
"What will you do about the two girls?"
Fine, be that way. "Chloe won't let it go, I'm supposed to e-mail her tonight about how I know you. I'm gonna' have to lie again to someone I care about."
He heard his mother's voice. Let's go.
Damn it Clark, you better have e-mailed me. Chloe sat at her computer opening her inbox for the second time tonight. Finally!
~I know you're wondering about that whole thing at school today Chloe, and well the reason is that he's my uncle Joe. He came to town a couple days ago to visit me. I guess when he found out I was going to SHS he wanted to come and see how my days went. He supposedly went there when he was in high school as well. I've told him that I work for the Torch and so that's why you saw him on the computer. He was just looking for some if the articles that I had written. I explained to him that that really was your computer and he's really sorry for seeming rude and not checking with someone first. So that's the whole story, that's how I know him. It was kinda' a shock for me too when I first met him. But anyway I didn't mean to take so long on sending you this e-mail. I had a few things I had to take care of first. So talk to ya' at school~
Chloe let the e-mail sink in. She thought about it for a bit. Clark could have an uncle. It's reasonable enough. But man, his uncle sure looked like Clark, more like Clark looked like his uncle. Well then it was a good thing that she didn't throw that paperweight. The thought made her laugh inwardly. Now she needed to call Lana and let her know that everything was cool. But first, a reply to Clark would be in order.
Looking at the phone was getting him nowhere. All he had to do was lift it up and call him. He'd been debating this all morning. It really wasn't that hard. But damn it sure felt like it. Come on Clark this is your best friend you're talking about here. Ok... ok... here goes.
"Hey Lex, it's Clark."
"What can I do for you Clark?"
Lex must have been upset, and still that way because his voice sounded distant like when he was having a conversation with his father.
"Um, well I was wondering if maybe that offer was still standing when you asked me over the other night?"
He could hear Lex's breathing during the long pause.
"I mean... it would be really nice Lex. You know just the two of us for a night."
"I don't know Clark, I'm really busy right now." Yeah, he was still mad.
"Please Lex, I thought you said you had some time to just hang out?"
"Well things change, don't they Clark. I've got things to do, so I'll..."
"Lex, I think we should talk, please." Clark cut in.
"Tonight I could come over, we can talk, watch some movies. Anything you want Lex."
He heard another pause and then Lex's voice.
And then he hung up. Clark stayed on the line a bit longer until the operator buzzed in his ear. How had he screwed things up so badly? Things were fine until Jor-El came. It was his entire fault.
Martha helped Clark with the dishes from dinner. Her son hadn't eaten much. It's been like that for a few days now. She was beginning to really worry about him.
"Could I stay over Lex's tonight?"
She thought for a moment. That was something she hadn't heard in a while. Clark was usually spending hours over the other boy's but lately she hadn't even heard Clark mention his name. Were Lex and Clark arguing about something? Maybe that was the reason Jor-El and Clark had been fighting?
"Oh, um... yes I suppose that will be fine." She saw Clark brighten at her answer. Maybe she was wrong. Clark seemed to be happy about going over Lex's now. Finishing up the last of the dishes Clark super speeded to grab his backpack then jacket and pulled it on.
"You know you can talk to me about anything right? And your father."
"I know." He kissed her forehead. "Gotta' go, love you."
"Have fun!" she shout after him, but he was already out the door.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Lex answered the door and invited Clark inside. He followed him into the entertainment room.
"So, what movie do you want to see?" Lex asked as if he were some kind of robot with a recording. He wouldn't even look at Clark.
"We don't have to watch any movies Lex, we can talk." Lex was pouring himself a drink. "My mom said I could stay over." He didn't get any reaction. "Are you going to keep ignoring me?"
"I'm not ignoring you Clark."
"Well than I'd like to know what you call this? Because if it's not ignoring, I think you're just plain pissed at me. What did I do?"
He heard a low chuckle. "What did you do? For someone who doesn't like people that hurt you Clark, you sure do enough of it yourself."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm your best friend Clark someone whom you say you trust, yet you can't talk to me."
"I'm talking with you right now Lex."
"Couldn't trust me enough to say what you had to say to Jor-El in front of me? Or what about all the times I've given you the chance to explain yourself, and all you do is make up some excuse. I'm not stupid Clark."
"I never thought you were stupid Lex." He saw his friend walk away from him.
"But you treat me like I am. What really happened on the bridge that day Clark, and why is the roof of my car torn off? Or how is it that you are always there to save me just in the nick of time?" He couldn't look at Clark. He'd scream or hit him.
"I'm there because I care about you Lex. I don't want you dead!" Clark was now the one yelling. "And why is it so important that you know about that day?"
"Why? Well probably because you `did' save my life Clark." He could sense sarcasm. "If you didn't want all these questions maybe you shouldn't have saved me Clark."
Clark was horrified. How could Lex think that? How... how could he?
"Don't you dare say that! I don't know what I would do if you were gone."
"For someone who thinks that you're very close to losing me."
"What do you want me to do Lex? Because all I've ever done was be a good friend to you. I never pestered you about your past, or asked you questions regarding your father."
"Your right Clark, you haven't, but you know what, if you had I would have told you the truth, not lied to your face time and again."
Clark felt his heart twist in his chest. Lex's words were like a fountain of pain flowing from his lips. He hadn't realized that he was doing this to Lex. This whole time he thought that if Lex found out about him that something like this would happen, but it was happening because he thought wrong. He was being so selfish.
"It's not that I don't want to tell you my secrets Lex cause I do, it's just that I can't."
"And why can't you Clark?"
It was just like when he was talking with Jor-El. "I don't know if you can handle something like this."
"Try me. You may find that I'm stronger that you think." Lex had since walked up to him placing his hands on Clark's face.
"Lex... I... I can't do that to you?"
"Do what to me Clark?" He was stroking Clark's cheek.
"Put that burden on you. It's so hard for me to know these secrets Lex, and having to caring them around is so painful."
"Yes, and that's why I want to be there helping you Clark. I want you to know that you don't have to carry that burden alone. Just like you said you want to protect me, and I want to protect you Clark." He could see that Clark wanted to cry, he was looking to the floor and his body was trembling.
"Lex... I don't want you to hate me. I could never take you looking at me how she did... how Lana did."
Lex was hugging him; wrapping his arms around him tightly and even when Clark struggled weakly Lex wouldn't let him go.
"She knew your secret Clark?" Lex asked.
"Not all of it, just a piece."
"And she hurt you..."
It was more like a statement than a question.
"Nothing you are Clark could make me hate you... I'd never leave." And Clark really was crying, sobs that shook him from the inside out. He wanted to hold onto Lex forever and not let him go. But he'd ruined everything.
"Lex." He saw the boy raise his head to look at him through his lashes. "I'm sorry. For everything, for how I'm acting, for treating you like my enemy... and most of all for not trusting you. I never meant to do that to you. I... I do want to tell you the truth about myself."
"Lets go sit down ok." Clark nodded.
Once they were sitting, Clark across from Lex, holding a sofa pillow in his hands, tried to tell Lex the truth.
"Lex, I... I'm not what you would say, oh how do I say this, um... from around here." He waited for Lex to say something but the man remained quiet just listening. "I'm not human." Saying that Clark waited again looking for any signs that Lex might be uncomfortable, but his friend just nodded. "I came down with the meteor shower and my parents found me, Martha and Jonathan I mean Lex are you ok?" Clark breathed this all out at once. "Lex please say something."
"And you have a ship?"
"So Jor-El is an alien too?"
"Yeah... Lex are you ok with this?"
"I'm fine Clark really, I just don't see why you thought I would hate you for being who you are?"
"I was so scared to let anyone know." Lex really seemed to be taking all this very well. The total opposite of what Clark had been thinking this whole time.
"And I'm the only one besides your parents that know this information?" Lex asked and Clark nodded his confirmation.
He was surprised by how good it felt to tell someone about this, and especially someone he really cared about. Lex wasn't yelling, he wasn't running away from him, but smiling and telling him how much he would always care for him.
"Clark I want you to promise me something."
He waited for Lex to say the promise.
"Never assume that I will be a certain way about anything ok."
Clark smiled. "I promise."
"Now, can we watch a movie?"
Clark felt Lex nudge his arm playfully. "You can choose the movie."
They made popcorn and Clark even got Lex to drink Mt. Dew. It was so nice to be laying on the couch just centimeters away from Lex. He had his head resting on the cushion by Lex's thigh, his legs propped up on the arm of the couch. Lex was holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap and would throw a couple pieces at his head. Clark even caught a few in his mouth. When some of the funny parts came up in the movie Clark and Lex would laugh so hard that they were crying.
"Man Lex, hey!" Lex pegged him on the nose with yet another piece of popcorn.
"Your face looks so cute when you laugh." Lex said now eating a few of the kernels. "Want another Mt. Dew?"
"Sure." Clark replied. "I can get them though." He sat up standing briefly blocking Lex's view as he passed him by.
When Clark came back Lex was watching the movie again. He was glad that he'd chosen a comedy. This was most definitely how Clark wanted Lex to be around him... happy, or well something else, and he wasn't even gonna' go there. Note to self: get mind out of the gutter.
Clark passed Lex his pop, then laid back down in the same position he was in before he had gotten up. He watched Lex's face for a moment then looked back at the TV screen.
Somewhere during the movie watching and the popcorn sharing, Lex had let his hand slip down and into the short soft dark locks that were his best friends hair. If Clark had noticed he didn't let on that he had. He just kept right on watching the movie, the many different smiles crossing his face at the really stupid things the characters were doing on the screen. The rest of the night ran smoothly and the movie finally came to an end. Lex felt Clark shift where he lay and when he looked down he saw that the boy was asleep. His head now lay in Lex's lap, one arm over his chest, while the other hang over the edge of the couch. Lex leaned down kissing the boy softly on the forehead laying his own hand atop Clark's on his chest. Clark had the right idea... just sleep. Tomorrow just maybe he could find the courage to tell Clark how he felt about him.