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That Evil Demon Liquor

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That Evil Demon Liquor

by spasticat

Title: That Evil Demon Liquor
Author: spasticat
Pairing: C/L
Rating: PG13 for language and substance abuse
Summary: Damn it, not another party fic. <sarcasm> And it includes a drunken youth...even better. </sarcasm> This is what happens when plot bunnies mix too much brandy with the egg nog. Warning, it's a silly-fic with strong PWP tendencies.
Dedication: To Pablo, a Merry Ho-ho-ho and a heh, heh, heh to you! Same goes for all who are brave enough to read this.

There were so many rooms filled with so many people that it was possible to get lost in the noise and gossip. Half the town was there, and it almost seemed half of Metropolis was also present. But like a high school sanctioned event everyone was off in their pre-designated groups, finding comfort in their temporary corners of the mansion safe amongst their own. Lex was determined to break the comfort. Make the townies talk it up with the city-folk.

He saw how much it bothered the elder Kent to see Clark talk to that pink-haired girl with the shirt that proclaimed in large sparkly letters that she was a "Toesucker." As he passed them by he was surprised to catch a snippet of their conversation, something about the id and primitive needs. Clark smiled as Lex walked by and looked as if he wanted to say something but Lex just waved him off in a friendly manner and kept walking.

"Jonathon Kent," he said as he reached his target, "Did you realize you are one room away from the midwest's premier restorer of Blackhawk Chiefs?" Upon the confused look he continued, "The bike in your garage, it's an Indian, am I right?"

"Yeah, it's just...I'm not looking to have someone else restore it."

Lex laughed, "No, I didn't take you as the kind of guy who would ever let anyone else touch it. Just thought you might like to speak to someone else as obsessed with those things as you are."

"It's not a thing," a deep voice said from behind them. They turned to face the spitting image of Jack Palance...if he had a penchant for bike leathers, that is. "Forgive the corniness but it's a work of art." He turned to Jonathon, "What you got?"

"Well, at one time it was a '53 Chief but some parts are earlier and, don't tell anyone, but the rear fender is modified from a '49 Scout." More was said but Lex quietly walked away to check on the rest of the party.

Due to this event being held in Smallville he knew it would never rival anything he had put together in Metropolis. The seedier elements of his past weren't invited for a reason. Wouldn't do to further disenfranchise himself from those Smallville residents who had come. He rounded the corner only to run into one of those seedy elements. Oh well, he thought to himself, what's a New Year's party without some fireworks.

One room, two conversations and a few lines later Lex decided it was time to see if Clark had survived his first encounter with...damn, who was that girl again...fuck it, he thought, it didn't matter as she wasn't the type to answer to any one name. The room was packed and the stereo had been turned up way past Lex's preferred level. While looking about the room he absentmindedly turned it down to 7 glaring as a young man in one of those stupid letter jackets rushed up to the stereo.

"This system cost more than you'll ever see...are you sure you want to be responsible for blowing out my speakers?" A smile crept to his face as the offender backed away, knocking a woman's drink on to her chest.

Pulling out a silk handkerchief he handed it to her, ignoring the lame apologies coming from behind. "You didn't happen to see where a tall, dark haired guy went? Young, high school, red shirt." She shrugged no as she dabbed at her chest.

The moron who was still behind him cleared his throat, "You mean Clark?" Lex turned and realized it was Whitney. "I saw him and Pete go off to the library with some dude with a nose-ring."

Lex let out a sigh, "Big nose-ring or little one?"

Whitney thought about it for a moment, "Uh, not sure, it had beads on it, I think."

Fuck, Stev was here. "Thanks," he made to go and then stopped, "And whatever you do, don't fucking touch the stereo."

The library was full of everyone but Clark and his sidekick, Pete. This was going to be hard. He had to get those two away from Stev. The man shared too many qualities with Lex, one being the perverse pleasure in testing the morals of young innocents. Sadly, Lex was mildly proud he had controlled that aspect of himself since arriving in this town. So many missed chances, so many times when his resolve was tested every time he was in the same county with Clark. Which was, basically, a 24/7 deal.

He rubbed his hand under his nose and looked back out to the hallway, where would Stev go? He'd tempt them slowly, go for something mild and build his way up. Alcohol.

Not walking too quickly he made his way over to where he had the bar set up but that was as fruitless as the library. The toesucker came into view, he pulled her away from whomever it was she was groping.

"Did you see Stev and that kid you were talking to earlier?"

She smiled dreamily, "Yeah, Stev was here and he brought some really good..."

"I didn't ask for a blow-by-blow account," he interrupted, "Where did they go?"

She was about to answer when a hand tapped his shoulder. Clark. Extremely flushed Clark. Big smile in full force. Before Lex could ask him anything Clark pointed to the drink in his hand, "Shhh," he whispered loudly, "This here is punch and let me tell ya, it sure packs a punch." He emphasized it with a too-hard shove to Lex.

"Shit, Clark. You're underage," Lex rubbed his shoulder, "You shouldn't be drinking that stuff, your parents are here."

"I knoooow." Clark said with wide red eyes. "I'm feeling naughty tonight."

Fuck, this is not what Lex needs to hear tonight. Not from him. And he knows Clark had said it out of juvenile innocence.

"C'mon, Clark, let's see if we can get you sobered up." He pulled Clark towards the kitchen where he could get someone to make coffee for the boy. "How many of those did you have?"

"Hm, how many should I have had?" He answered with an innocent flutter of his eyes.

Maybe the boy isn't as sweet and country-bumpkinish as Lex thought. "Let's say one is one too many."

Clark downed what was left in the cup and twisted out of Lex's grip. "Ha, you're fun-neeee." He looked around, "Where's the butler guy with more of these? I'm feeling mighty parched, yes I am." Spinning about he walked into a large plant by the main staircase.

Lex disentangled him from the leaves. "You've had enough, Clark."

Big eyes in a wobbly head squinted down at Lex. "Yeah, I've had enough, enough being so good and so responi...respins...really good. It's New Year's, never tasted even a drop of evil demon liquor before...can't I be bad this one time?" The last note ended on a whine.

Lex had to look away before Clark could see the smile on his face. "There's a time and a place for teenage rebellion. Not at my party with your parents milling about somewhere near."

He was going to say more but was suddenly shoved into the coatroom. "Clark, what the fuck?" They tumbled into a mass of wool and furs.

Clark slowly got off Lex and sat up against one wall, "My mom! Shhhh! Be vewy, vewy qwuiet, she's hunting wabbits."

"Clark, don't ever try to do impressions ever again, that sucked."

A small laugh from Clark as he pulled at one of the fallen coats and threw it over his head, "She won't find us here. It's dark and...hey, my disguise!" he yelled as Lex removed the coat, revealing dark hair all mussed and, damn, so sexy.

"Kent, right now you are pushing all the wrong buttons."

A smile that Lex usually only saw in the mirror greeted him, "What buttons should I push?"

"Oh, no. You don't want to know the answer to that." But Lex did. And he couldn't handle any more double entendres from those lips, quickly shutting that mouth with the palm of his hand only to pull it away just as fast.

"Did you just lick me, Clark?"

Not that grin, shit, not that one.

"That's it, get up, we're getting you out of here now."

In the kitchen Clark kept opening each and every cabinet. It was getting on Lex's nerves. "Do you mind? Your coffee is getting cold."

"Nope, don't mind at all." He paused at a door next to the walk-in refrigerator, "Where does this lead to?"

"Nowhere, now drink up." But Clark was already through the doorway, a soft gasp of childish glee could be heard from the other side followed by a splash.

Fuck, can't fight 'em, might as well join them, Lex thought as he grabbed one of the bottles of champagne from a box on the counter. Night can't get any worse.

He popped the cork as he walked into the pool-room. It shot over to the deep end of the pool, over Clark's very wet head.

"If I'm going to go to hell it might as well be with style." He said as he downed a swig of the stuff.

"Who said you were going to hell?"

"I'm thinking your parents when they find you like this."

"Nah, they're not here anymore." Clark said as he swam to the edge.


"Yeah, they like to watch that Dick Clark thing. Dad loves it when the ball drops."

"I bet he does. But I also bet they're expecting you home soon."

Clark dived under the water, tilting his head back and letting the wet tendrils of his hair slick back. Why was Clark taunting him like this? "No," Clark said as he resurfaced, "Used the oldest trick in the book, I'm staying at Pete's tonight." Clark waved at Lex, "Hi, Pete."

Lex quickly looked behind him, nobody there. "Ha ha, Kent. You think you're so clever. Every parent knows that one."

"My parents? With me? You do know you are talking to Clark Kent, Town Goody-goody. Speaking of goody-goody...why are you still standing there, the water's fine and I promise no sharks will bite."

"After that stunt in the coatroom I really doubt that." Lex answered as he went to crouch by the edge of the pool. Another swig of the champagne. "How long are you going to stay in there, Aquaboy?"

"Till you join me."

"Dream on, Kent"

"How about letting me try some of that?"

"Not good to mix the liquor."

"Y'know, you're right, you are going to hell, teaching me the ways of the drunk and horny."

"Wha?" was all Lex could say as Clark moved quickly and grabbed the bottle, water splashing all over his suit.

Standing up he took off the jacket disgustedly, "That's it Kent, you are going down." Then he smiled as the words from his own mouth registered in his brain. With practiced ease he dived smoothly into the water, surfacing next to a wildly grinning Clark. Who was no longer wearing a shirt. Said shirt was floating away on the ripples from Lex's dive.

"Um, Clark, you're's making a get-away."

Clark noisily slurped from the bottle, "Yep, it sure is. This is a pool, feels funny to wear clothes in it."

Oh, God...this was not happening. He didn't say that. That wasn't the hottest looking chest facing him, no, it was several years in prison facing him. Must make this my mantra, Lex decided.

"Weren't you going to like...take me down or something?" Clark asked as he passed the bottle to the silent man.

Deep drag on the bottle.

More chest, water rivulets racing down that chest.

Another long tilt of the bottle.

Long fingers wrapped around his, holding them and moving the bottle around towards a different set of lips. Bottle tipped and Lex watched as Clark took a drink, his hands still surrounding Lex's. Neck flexed as liquid was swallowed, Adam's apple moving up then down.

"Thanks." Clark said simply, letting go of Lex and the bottle. The bottle softly splashed into the water.

After a stunned moment Lex laughed, "This isn't you, Clark, it's the...evil demon liquor."

"Whatever makes you happy, Lex." He waded in closer to Lex, "You're still fully clothed. In a pool. Let me help you."

Lex backed away as the very young, no, extremely young and hot, no not hot, young, yes, that's it, young man reached for the buttons. "Back off, Kent, before you do something you'll regret."

"You think it's the booze making me do this but it's not...well, it sorta is 'cause I've wanted to y'know but was too chickenshit to actually...uh, y'know."

"If you can't say it then you don't know what you want." Lex said authoritatively as he continued backing away from the ever-advancing Clark. The last thing he saw was a big goofy smile spread across a wet face before he was submerged under the water.

A small struggle he was sure he had won, Lex sputtered after reaching air then realized his shirt was nowhere to be seen. Another mystery to ponder some sober moment in the future.

Wiping at his eyes he opened his mouth to yell at Clark but was silenced as those lips, those red lips wet with beads of water descended on his. Clumsy, drunk kiss. Hot kiss from a virgin, one with an inkling of what a kiss is.

They pulled away and Clark licked his upper lip, Lex watching that tongue move from one corner to another. "You taste like champagne and chlorine." He licked his lips again, "Want to taste it again, really want that."

Lex decided he would blame all his subsequent actions on the evil demon liquor.