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More Babble Than Shovel Speech

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I’ve been doing this superhero gig for so long that I’m not really sure how things normally go when your best friend gets a new girlfriend, but with our group usually they’re either already an ally or an enemy. Abigail Brand was neither of these, at least I couldn’t quite tell where she stood with our group. All I really had was she was crazy about Hank and maybe just as bad-ass as Logan.

So I know the hurt him and die speech is probably going to come out as one long Bobby babble of please don’t hurt my best friend and please don’t kill me.

She also has green hair, which while it isn’t the exactly the same shade as Lorna still made me a bit uncomfortable.

Hank being happy is something I want though, so I’m prepared to put aside my discomfort.

My first time being alone with her being on the roof was not something I wanted. I had gone to get away from the crowd, to have some alone time because believe it or not sometimes I like to be alone with my thoughts, when suddenly there she was.

She’s moves all graceful in that totally deadly way that makes you know she probably could have you on the ground and dead before you could even blink.

I’m a mutant powered superhero; I should have more confidence in my ability to defend myself.

Did I mention she likes her guns?

It’s best to be friendly. I introduce myself.

“Hank already introduced us,” she points out.

“Yeah, but you were kinda getting the ‘this is my whole family, please like them as much as I like them’ spiel at the time and we’re kinda huge,” I babble.

“There are a lot of you,” she agrees, “I wasn’t overwhelmed.”

“I got that impression.”

She nods and we lapse into silence as she looks out over the side of the roof and I desperately hope she’s not calculating how easy it would be to throw me over the side.

I sigh and glance over at her. She waits. She doesn’t look patient.

“Look,” I try, “The thing is, Hank’s my best friend. I worry about him and there’s supposed to be this big huge shovel speech that boils down to please don’t hurt my best friend because I’m a selfish bastard and when Hank’s hurting I feel hurt and I really hate feeling hurt. But I can see the way you two are about each other and I don’t see you two wanting to hurt each other because even though you’re in the start of this and it’s all pretty and roses right now I know Hank tends towards over-thinking and you seem like you’re the practical type.”

She frowns at me. I’m going over the edge for sure. I’m going to be a huge Bobby splatter on the ground.

“My point being,” I continue, because I can’t not continue at this point, “is that I approve, not that you need my approval, but I like that Hank’s happy and I’m cool with that reason being that you two are together and I guess what I’m really trying to do is welcome you to our strange dysfunctional family.”

She nods. I try to attempt a grin and that’s when I catch it, the hint of a smile. Yes! I learned a long time ago that if I’m mildly entertaining I can get away with a lot more.

“Anyone hurts Hank and I’ll hurt them,” she tells me.

I agree.

She smirks, “You can have what little remains.”

I laugh.

She gives me one more nod before she leaves me alone. That went way better than I thought it would and she’s going to fit right in.