“For crying out loud,” Angel exclaimed. “Just take her to the opera. She likes opera. Everyone likes opera!”
“Except people with class, mate,” Spike cut in. “Take her to a rock show. Real class.”
“If you think you’re the undead Billy Idol,” Angel retorted.
“At least I’m not a ponce with hair like a nancy boy,” Spike snarked back.
Wesley just watched them go back and forth for a minute, wondering if they were talking about his problem or theirs. He blinked and lifted his hand to rub the bridge of his nose. “Yes, well, do you think a movie followed by dinner would appropriate, then?”
The two vampires stopped and looked at him.
“That would work,” Angel agreed.
“Much better than the poof’s idea,” Spike added.
“Spike,” Angel growled.
Spike smiled charmingly. “Yes, Angelus?”
The blonde vampire turned to Wesley with an expression of mock hurt. “See how he treats me? He just wants my hot little body for sex.”
This, Wesley thought, was getting him nowhere. “Gentlemen,” he interjected. “May we please get back to the topic at hand? Namely, my date?”
“You know, mate,” Spike said, flopping into one of the plush leather chairs and lighting up a cigarette, “you give the British a bad name. We’re supposed to be romantic and sod all. You can’t even plan a date for Ms. Science Geek downstairs.”
Angel raised his eyebrows. “And you could do better, Spike?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Spike pouted. “You said you enjoyed our dates.”
“I’d also enjoy a root canal,” he deadpanned. “Well, if I ever needed to have one. Which I don’t because I’m dead.”
“Bite me,” Spike replied, flipping Angel off. “Take her to that new science exhibit at the museum. She was going on and on about how she wanted to go.”
Wesley blinked. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Why didn’t you?” Angel asked.
“That’s a brilliant idea, Spike,” Spike chimed in with a high-pitched voice. “You are such a romantic man, so unlike Angelus.”
“Spike,” Angel warned.
“Peaches,” Spike replied cheerfully.
“The idea is a splendid one, Spike, thank you,” Wesley intervened. “Now, I do believe there is the matter of a curse in South America that needs undoing. If you will excuse me.”
He stood and left the room, wondering if the two had even heard him in their glaring. He decided it didn’t matter as he jogged down the hall to the elevator and punched the button that would bring him to the lab.
The elevator door chimed and opened, admitting him into the hallway. He walked down the corridor and stopped at Fred’s office, knocking lightly before opening it and going inside.
“Oh! Wes,” Fred blinked, looking up from the papers in her hands. “What are you doing down here?”
“I was just,” he began, “wondering if you were doing anything important right now? There’s a curse that I cannot break, and I was wondering if you lend me your assistance,” he finished lamely.
“Well,” she began nervously, hand fluttering in front of her, “I’m not good at that sort of thing, Wes. I mean,” she added hastily, “I could try.”
Wesley smiled. “It is not necessary, Fred,” he replied. “I shall see you at the staff meeting later.”
Fred smiled and he smiled back before turning and making his way back to the elevator.
He hoped Angel and Spike were done fighting. He also hoped they had better advice on how to ask someone out than they did on where to take them.