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Trials to Absolution

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Dean opened his eyes slowly. Shifting in his bed, he made sure that Sam was asleep before he got up. He silently made his way of the motel room, grabbing his jacket. Going to his baby he leaned against her hood looking at the stars. Running a hand over his face, he came to a quick decision and pulled out his cell phone. Dialing a number he thought he would never have to use.

Three rings were all it took.

“Hello?” A deep, low feminine voice answered.

“I need to know if you know anything,” Dean didn’t bother saying hi, she knew.

“Dean, so nice of you to call…”

“Did you know anything?”

“Be a bit more specific.”

“Sam,” Dean hissed out. “Did you know about Sam leaving Hell?”

Silence echoed loudly over the line. “That should not be possible.” The woman spoke slow and precise. “Dean, I am going to need you to tell me everything.” The man didn’t understand, but he wasn’t about to lie to her. As he spoke, Dean could practically hear her eyes shifting back and forth in thought.

“Do you have a theory?” He questioned.

“A few,” She sighed. The hunter ran a hand over his mouth as he moved away from his baby so he didn’t give into the temptation of kicking her. “What are you really calling for Dean? You wouldn’t call me just to talk about your zombie brother.”

“I don’t know…” Dean walked further away from the Impala. “I just…”

“You couldn’t talk to your brother or your angel friend.” The woman sighed. “You feel left out because everyone knew Sam was alive the whole year but you. Speak the truth to me Winchester; you know I will never turn you away.”

Her voice compelled him, urged him until the truth bubbled to the surface. Dean growled into the phone. “I sold my soul to keep Sam alive! When I came back I sought him out first! Why couldn’t I have the same decency?” He began to pace in the parking lot. “Hell even if Cas could have just pop in and say something, but no he only came back when I was pulled back into the game.” He stopped at a parking curb on the other side of the parking lot and sighed as he sat down. “I’ve been told a million times I can’t escape destiny…maybe this is it. Always alone, never being able to have the life mom wished for us.”

The woman snorted. “You’ve been hanging around the angels too much sweetheart.”

“Don’t you…”

“No Dean, you are letting the angels manipulate your view on destiny and time.” The woman answered. “You followed a promise you, deep within your heart, didn’t want to fulfill. But when you went to hell, did your brother keep his? He went out drank demon blood and trusted a demon whore that almost ended with the Judo-Christian apocalypse.”

He grimaced. “Do I have to remind you that it was my own fault that started?”

“If the angels deemed you so important, they wouldn’t have let you been tortured for thirty years.” She countered immediately. He knew she had a sore-spot on the angels, something she had told him before. She didn’t approve of the way they do things.

“I’m tired of pretending…” Dean felt a familiar tightening in his chest. One that he felt since he returned. It ached with an emptiness that he could never fill just like Famine said. “I can’t stay here…”

The woman on the phone was silent for a long time. The hunter thought she had hung up when she spoke again. “I can’t tell you what to do Dean, but know this running away isn’t the answer.” She paused, letting the information sink in. “But…know this, no matter what you do, no matter what is decided…I will follow you.”

“I doubt that.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“You’ve know me for a little less than a year Winchester,” The woman’s voice firmed. “Have I ever lied to you once during that time? Have I ever deceived you or tried to sway your thoughts?”

The hunter was silent as he turned his head to the skies. No, this woman has never done anything that his own family had already put him through. She had saved him. When he was living with Lisa, this woman was the only one he could call about his dreams, his memories, and his thoughts about this world. If he had called Bobby, he would be judged as trying to get back in. He didn’t even think himself worthy enough to call Cas for a chat, the angel had run out on him as soon as he got his powers back. Every time Dean thought he had someone that would stay by his side with some kind of understanding they would disappear or forget about him. He was still waiting for the other shoe to drop with this woman.

“No,” Dean whispered. “But in my experience, it’s never too late to start.”

The woman sighed. “You have my number if you want to talk Dean. I will see what I can dig up on your brother’s escape from the cage. Καληνύχτα. (Goodnight)” With that the woman hung up.

Closing the phone, Dean looked across the parking lot toward the room they rented. His friend was right. He needed to figure out what to do next. Putting his hand that was fisted around his phone to his mouth, he thought about what she said.