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Four Hunters, Three Angels, Two Gabriels And An Impala In A Pear Tree

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The last thing Gabriel remembered was arguing with Castiel, Sam and Dean about how the younger angel shouldn't open inter-dimensional portals as you can't be sure what will fall out. Castiel ignored him and the next thing he knew, he was being pinned to the ground by a pile of bodies that had fallen out of said inter-dimensional portal. There was a bony elbow sticking into Gabriel's ribs which was surprisingly painful. "Ow! Get off me!"

Once the bodies had stood up and brushed themselves off, Gabriel found himself looking at two men who looked like Castiel and a tall man with red hair and mischievous brown eyes. Gabriel could tell that none of them were demons, although the red head had a very familiar (as in being an angel) glow to him. "They aren't demons. They're human and he's an angel," Gabriel stated, pointing to each of them in turn.

"All right," one of the Castiel clones, the one wearing the leather jacket, spoke up, "what the hell happened? Are they demons?"

"Inter-dimensional portal," the tall red head stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Was nothing to do with me... this time." He frowned. "Two angels and two humans, yes. No demons."

"Who the hell are you?" Dean asked, breaking into the conversation.

"Cas? Did you fall in with us?" the other Castiel clone asked, looking at Dean.

"What? I'm not Cas. I'm Dean."

The two Castiel clones looked to the tall red head for guidance. "Gabe?" the other Castiel clone, clad in a dark blue jumper and black trousers, asked.

"Oh, you're asking me for advice now? That's a change from trying to kill me."

"You killed me! Hundreds of times."

"I said I was sorry, Jakeybaby. It's not my fault your brother is as dense as a black hole and he didn't get the lesson I was trying to teach him."

"You stuck me in a time-loop for who knows how many Tuesdays."

"Brick wall."

Dean leaned into Sam. "That sounds familiar."

"Yeah. Deja vu."

"Why the Hell are you a red head anyway? You usually have dark hair."

"Ever heard of hair-dye?" the red haired man growled. "I washed it out."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and cut into the discussion before it could escalate into a full blown argument. "I think we should all have a circle of love and make introductions. Not discussing angel haircare."

"Jimmy Novak."

"Jacob Novak."

"Castiel."

"Dean Winchester."

"A circle of love?" Sam asked, rolling his eyes. "I'm Sam Winchester."

The red head smiled at Sam. "Hi Sam. I know an alternate you."

"Wait a minute! How the hell do you know Sam? You weren't around for that whole Sam as Castiel's backup thing," Jacob asked.

"You think I just sit on a cloud playing a harp between jobs?" the red head snapped. "I meet people... One of them just happened to be a wayward vessel named Sam. I took him under my wing... so to speak."

"Oh my God, you slept with him, didn't you?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out. If you had spoken to him, he could have told you my vessel's natural hair colour."

"I don't need to hear this," Dean said, covering his ears. He lowered his hands again as a thought occurred to him. "So in your dimension, Sam and me are vessels for Cas?"

Jimmy nodded. "Jacob and I are hunters. So in yours, we're Cas' vessel?"

The red head snorted. "Very ironic, that."

"We didn't get your name, Red," Gabriel pointed out.

"Didn't get yours either, pocket-sized."

"Gabriel," Gabriel introduced himself. He didn't miss the incredulous looks from Jimmy and Jacob. "What?"

"The world hates me," the red head muttered. "I'm Gabriel too."

"Two Gabriels," Jimmy grumbled. "The world hates us, you mean."

"That's not what you said last night," the red headed Gabriel commented. He turned to Castiel. "Okay, Castiel, put us out of our misery. Which of the Novaks are you in?"

"Jimmy."

"As I said before, very ironic."

"Three Novaks, I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now," Dean stated with a smile.

"You sound like Jack," Gabriel stated. "Technically, it's two Novaks and a Castiel."

"He has the right idea though," Jacob agreed.

"This is why I stuck you on Jerry Springer," the red headed Gabriel muttered.

"There's also two Gabriels," Sam pointed out.

"They can go screw themselves," Jacob retorted. He noticed the speculative look that both Gabriels gave each other. "Oh God!"

"Shouldn't have said that, Jakey," the red haired Gabriel stated with an evil smile. "You never know when people might take you up on it."

"What does your vessel say about that?" Dean asked the alternate Gabriel. "Is he even aware in there?"

The red haired Gabriel snorted in amusement. "If you ever met my vessel, you'd know. Why? Thinking of having a piece of the Gabriel pie, are you, Deano?"

"Mister Tall and Lanky? In your dreams!"

"You're not usually that fussy when it comes to where you stick your dick, Deano," Gabriel couldn't resist pointing out. "And didn't you just a few minutes ago proposition the three musketeers?"

"I believe that's what Dean refers to as a 'twin threesome fantasy'," Castiel spoke up.

Jimmy looked scandalised. "You've taught your angel about porn?!"

"There were these two red headed twins," Dean explained, noticing that even Sam was looking shocked. "Cas came in and he wanted to know."

"Male or female twins?" Jacob asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Oh God. Explaining porn to an angel," Jimmy muttered, putting his hands to his face. "I'm embarrassed for Cas."

"Angels do not get embarrassed," Castiel stated. He rubbed the back of his neck. A sure sign that he was embarrassed but not wanting to show it. "I was curious."

"You got flustered when our Castiel walked, or flew, in on the three of us, Jimmy," the red haired Gabriel commented to Jimmy. He noticed the looks the other men were shooting him. "It was Yoga!"

"Was it naked yoga?" Gabriel asked his counterpart, wriggling his eyebrows.

"I promised my vessel I'd keep him in shape and I find it relaxing. I was in a pose and Jimmy and Jacob were watching. Of course, Castiel chose the moment when those two either fell or jumped on top of me to flutter in."

"Jacob pushed me."

"It was those shorts," Jacob stated with a shrug. "Didn't know you were so flexible."

"Not me. My vessel."

"Did yours also stick you in TV land?" Sam had to ask Jimmy and Jacob. "He mentioned something about Jerry Springer."

"Yes. I don't think Jacob's quite forgiven him for the blond wig and getting chased by giant alien pepper-pots that shoot," Jimmy answered.

"I don't understand," Castiel said, looking confused, especially when Dean and Gabriel started laughing.

"Classic!" Gabriel cheered, giving his alternate counterpart a high five.

"Some of my best work. Was tempted to also put him in a miniskirt but I don't think he has the legs for it."

"Where did you send Cas, anyway?" Dean asked both Gabriels.

Castiel shuddered, not really wanting to think about his time in TV Land. "I would prefer not to think about it."

"Oh my God, it wasn't 'Days Of Our Lives', was it?"

"Dawson's Creek," Gabriel elaborated.

"Oh you poor poor angel," Dean said to Castiel, giving the angel a brief pat on the shoulder. "What about you? Where did you send your Cas?" he asked the red haired Gabriel.

"Buffy."

Dean shrugged and moved to sit down on one of the beds. "Buffy's cool, dude."

"Yeah, she is. Hot too," Gabriel stated, getting a nod of agreement from his alternate self.

"It wasn't the musical episode, was it?" Sam asked, looking worried for the Castiel in the other dimension.

"Cas wasn't Buffy, was he?" Jacob asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You think I have a thing for guys dressing up as women, do you?"

"Can't you snap your fingers and send yourselves back?" Dean asked seriously, not really wanting to find out the answer to both the alternate Gabriel and Jacob's questions.

"You trying to get rid of us, Deano?" the alternate version of Gabriel asked.

"Would your feelings get hurt if I said yes?"

"No." the red haired Gabriel looked tired suddenly. "I can't. It's drained most of my powers. Don't even think I have the energy to snap up a Snickers bar."

"Great. So we're stuck here," Jacob stated. "Until Gabe has recharged his batteries."

"I'm not a camera."

"It's just... confusing with three of you that look alike," Dean replied, looking between Jimmy, Jacob and Castiel.

"It's easy. They're all dressed differently and Castiel is all shiny." The alternate Gabriel threw himself down onto the bed next to Dean. "And me? I look nothing like your Gabriel. Not in this vessel anyway."

"He's not my Gabriel."

"Oh, but he could be."

"You're as bad as those slash fiction writers," Dean stated with a shake of his head.

"You have them too?" Jimmy asked, a look of horror on his face. "With us, it's all about the twins."

"For us, it's all about the brothers," Sam said, remembering the website he had stumbled on. "People are crazy."

"Understatement," Jimmy muttered. "They call it Novakcest."

"Wincest for us."

"Hey, that's good," Gabriel said. "Nice pun on the name."

The alternate Gabriel nodded. "Well, let the record show, I approve."

"You're an archangel!" Sam protested.

"Yeah, and? I'm not dead. I was dead for a bit. Didn't like it." The alternate Gabriel rolled over onto his side, grabbed Sam's arm, pulling him down to a sitting position next to him on the bed. "Sit down. I don't bite." He shifted over so his head was resting on Sam's lap. "Now shut up, I'm going to sleep." He closed his eyes.

"Stop manhandling my brother!" Dean ordered.

"Whatever, talk to the hand," the alternate Gabriel growled without opening his eyes.

"Bet you are wishing you're the one manhandling him," Gabriel commented from the other bed.

Sam didn't know what to do. The alternate Gabriel was heavier than he looked. The warm weight on his lap wasn't entirely unwelcome which surprised him. He looked down at the archangel on his lap. "I, er, think we should get our rest," he said, looking up at Castiel's unreadable expression.

"What about sleeping arrangements?" Dean asked, indicating the room at large. "In case you haven't noticed, there are four humans, plus three angels and only two beds."

"Share?" Castiel suggested. "It is my understanding that's what people do when there isn't enough sleeping space. Angels do not need to sleep so Gabriel and I will watch over you."

"Sure. But we're not kids anymore, Cas," Dean said. "People might get the wrong idea. And, dude, watching us sleep? In what world is that not creepy?"

"Who's going to see?" Jacob asked, flopping down on the other bed. "It's just us. And even Gabe's made himself comfortable."

"Yeah, about that. If he snores, I'm kicking him out of bed," Dean commented. "Archangel or not."

 

*****

The next morning Sam was the first one awake and he looked at the other bed where Jimmy and Jacob were curled around each other, looking like sleeping puppies. Dean and the alternate Gabriel were fast asleep, the red head spread out with his arms around Sam's waist and his feet draped over Dean's legs. He noticed Castiel and Gabriel sitting on the sofa, watching them. "Hey," Sam said, quietly, not wanting to wake the others.

"Good morning, Sam. Did you sleep well?" Castiel greeted.

"Yeah. You didn't watch us sleeping ALL night, were you?"

"Well, we did write a few fanfics about you," Gabriel teased. "Castiel did anyway. Who knew he knew about that type of thing?" He pretended to wipe a tear from his eyes. "My little bro is growing up. He's admitted his feelings in such a sweet way."

"What?!" Sam exclaimed, before lowering his voice. "What?!"

"Ignore Gabriel," Castiel stated, looking flustered. He had been doing something while everyone was asleep but Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know what.

The alternate Gabriel stirred, moved his arms from around Sam's waist and sat up. His red hair was sticking out everywhere in an extreme case of bed hair. He looked blearily at Sam. "Good morning, Gabriel," Sam said politely and a little warily. The alternate Gabriel muttered something in reply and Sam looked to Gabriel and Castiel. "Translation?"

"Sounded like coffee, possibly cookie," Gabriel stated, watching as his alternate self stood up, stretched and headed into the bathroom. "Not a morning person, I gather." He snapped his fingers, making coffee and various breakfast foods appear.

The smell of coffee roused the other three sleeping men and they scrambled over to the table, helping themselves to their breakfasts. "Mmm," Dean purred, almost inhaling the bacon on his plate.

"Hope you left some for the rest of us," the alternate Gabriel commented in a low deep voice as he exited the bathroom. He reached for one of the coffees and scowled when Dean moved it out of his way. "Dean."

"You sure you can have this? No one knows the effects coffee will have on archangels. Or if there are any dangers."

"Dean, the only danger is you will see me when I'm caffeine deprived." The red haired archangel raised both hands. One to reach out for the coffee and the other one to snap his fingers. "Hand over the coffee and no one gets hurt."

"Dean, stop teasing him. Give him his coffee," Sam said, wincing when the alternate Gabriel snapped his fingers. When nothing was apparently changed, Sam relaxed a bit.

"What did you do?" Jimmy asked, afraid of the answer.

"Look outside."

Dean moved to the window and peered out. "Dude! You put my car back on the ground right now!"

"Coffee and then I'll think about it."

"Why a pear tree?" Jacob asked, as he also looked out.

"Why not?" the alternate Gabriel scowled and held his hand out for the coffee. "Don't make me give her a new paint-job," he threatened. "I think cherry red would..."

Dean thrust the coffee at the alternate Gabriel quickly. He didn't want his car to be changed to red or any other colour that the red haired archangel might decide will suit it. "Touch my car again and I will stake you."

"Touch my coffee and your car will be florescent pink," the red haired Gabriel said, his brown eyes flashing. He snapped his fingers again, presumably putting the Impala back on the ground.

"You are so not a morning person," Jacob observed, watching as the red head sipped at his coffee (milk, no sugar) and wondered what was going through the archangel's mind. "No sugar? Don't need sweetening up?"

"Not today, Honey, I've got a headache," the alternate Gabriel teased, between mouthfuls of coffee. "I don't just eat sweet things, you know."

"I meant in your coffee."

"Trying to cut down. My vessel bitches when I have too much sweet stuff. Not as if it'll affect him." The alternate Gabriel reached for some pancakes and drowned them in maple syrup. "Of course, I'm not going to entirely stop..."

Gabriel looked up from his pancakes with strawberry syrup. "So what do we have planned for today?"