my name is Lusus Downthere. i like all lusus am named lusus. i know i am named Downthere because my Crutt calls me this often especially when i am amplifying my presence with my noise.
he says so all the time like so: SHUT UP DOWNTHERE!
oh and now he is quite upset because he does not understand me and i am imitating his decibel range quite well but that is nothing new. i understand Crutt Vantas and his mongrel language and have occasionally thought of him as Upthere Vantas.
'quiet down Upthere' i sometimes think. he cannot hear my thoughts. he is not a gifted youngling. in my experience Crutt Vantas excels in needless violence and also causing highly improbable events of a negative aspect to occur.
i strongly sense however that this is not his fault and i forgive him for it.
there are very few times in which i can sense the incoming onslaught of his entropic 'luck'. i find in this case there is an exception.
something wrong is going to happen soon. i will be party to it hereafter. but i am his Lusus and he is my Crutt and regardless i find that i can not terminate my unwritten duties as his custodian.
ah. here it comes now.
Oh god why did I even click that damn thing. Of course that pompous asshole's script would work how he said it would, he's a fucking genius, fucking hell why did I run the damn thing.
Okay, so the computer's gone. Great job breaking it, you fucking hero you, Karkat. And that wall's gone; which is just fantastic. I should be a damn interior designer. Just a lovely breeze we've got going here.
Hmm. What else did Sollux fuck up this time?
Oh. Oh shit.
Crutt Vantas was sad for some time.
this was not unanticipated. i felt that there was nothing i could do to avoid my expiration. i accepted it. i am also under no sopor-induced delusions in which i sprout wings and soar to an elevated plane of existence full of terrifying subterranean creatures.
also i acknowledge that subterranean creatures by definition do not live in the sky under any circumstances.
in that regard i suppose the 'joke' is at my expense. i find now that i am floating and that i am determinedly smaller. i still have my limbs but only two of them. my vision is filled with fleeting glowing streams of information that is foreign to my mind and my duties. i feel an all-encompassing understanding of the information and yet an almost omnipresent ignorance.
i look up to see that the sky has changed. the changing of the sky is an almost daily occurance but the circumstances seem to have been altered. the sky is now completely dark and without stars. the world seems to be lit by an unseen source of luminesence. i am told by my own mind the reasons for this and the answers to my questions bring me no comfort.
i seek out my Crutt and find that he is standing right beneath me looking at me with an expression that even to me is obviously extreme confusion. i sympathize with him but i can not give him answers. i do not know why.
i wish to tell him many things. i wish to tell him that he is not at fault not to blame. he should not feel sorrow nor confusion. i speak knowing no words come from me.
"it is okay Karkat Vantas."
i begin to say more but i am astounded. i can see that he understands my speech. i can hear my speech in his language. the sound of it is undeniably beastial and yet also subdued contained polite. the sound of my voice is the sound of my thoughts.
his face is overcome by several emotions. he seems at once relieved overjoyed manic crying angry. except crying is not an emotion. he attempts to scowl at me and i see him fail. his scowlsmile does not leave his face.
"You stupid, idiot crab bastard."
"it is good to see you have not changed."