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Chapter 13

Aftermath

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG].

TC: Hey motherfucker.
TC: Honk honk.
CG: OH GREAT, GAMZEE.
CG: YOU'RE HERE ON ERIDAN'S BEHALF, I ASSUME?
CG: TELL HIM IF HE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING TO ME, HE SHOULD WORK UP THE GLOBES TO DO IT HIS OWN FUCKING SELF.
CG: OH, THAT'S RIGHT, HE ALREADY TRIED THAT, AND I BLOCKED HIM.
CG: SO REMIND HIM THAT THAT MEANS I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE HEARING ANY OF HIS HISTRIONIC SKYHORSE LEAVINGS, NO MATTER HOW MANY INTERMEDIARIES HE FEELS LIKE RELAYING THEM THROUGH.
TC: Nah, motherfucker, it ain't any such horseshit as that.
TC: Can't a motherfucker all up and talk at his best platonic motherfuckin friend without any ulterior motherfuckin motives?
CG: NO.
TC: Alright, so it ain't exactly accurate to say that I'm lacking on any motives what could be described like ulterior.
TC: But the truth is, it all seems like your shit just performed an acrobatic motherfuckin pirouette over the handle, and I was all figuring maybe you just needed some motherfucker to up and talk around that shit towards.
CG: UH
CG: GAMZEE, IS THIS
CG: A PROPOSITION?
TC: What?
TC: Well, shit, I guess it's a proposition on so far like to say what I'm proposing we shoot the proverbial shit like a cardboard waterfowl up on a shooting gallery at a dark motherfuckin carnival.
CG: NO, I MEAN
CG: IT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE YOU'RE PROPOSING A, UH
CG: A PALE INDISCRETION.
TC: Awwwww, mother fuck, not any of this bullshit like around pale infidelity or whatever the fuck that shit may be.
TC: The way I'm all seein it, if a motherfucker can't talk towards his best platonic motherfuckin friend about some shit what's all up in his mind, then what's the point on having a best platonic friend on the motherfuckin first place?
CG: WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT?
TC: Keep saying what, motherfucker?
CG: THAT I'M YOUR "BEST PLATONIC FRIEND"
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.
TC: Well, before it was as you were my best friend period.
TC: But now that I'm all palebros with Eridan and flushed as a motherfucker at Tavbro, I'm all thinkin it's fair to up and motherfuckin say you got some competition.
TC: But it's not like I'm gonna try to rank you three bros against each other, so I'll just say you're all up and motherfuckin equivalent on my book.
TC: Well, wait, that shit ain't exactly accurate.
TC: I don't think I'll be hurting the feelings of any particular motherfucker to say I like Tavbro more I like them.
TC: Seeing like that seems to be the whole motherfuckin point on the flushed quadrant in general.
TC: But between you and my palebro, I ain't seein any motherfuckin need to draw comparisons across the two of you.
TC: So you're my best platonic friend, and Eridan's my best non-platonic friend except for Tavros, who's obviously towering way the fuck over both you two motherfuckers.
TC: If that shit makes any sense in all.
CG: UH
CG: KIND OF?
TC: And seeing like you're both my best motherfuckin friends at one denomination or another, it's kind of harshing my buzz to see you all gettin your motherfuckin fight on.
TC: So I'd like it if you could all just up and cut that shit right the mother fuck off if at all possible.
CG: OKAY, NOW IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO AUSPISTICIZE US.
TC: Oh sweet merciful mother fuck.
TC: I ain't tryin to pull any sort of motherfuckin moirail-auspistice double reacharound over your nubby-horned ass, alright, bro?
TC: The fact in the motherfuckin matter is I'm Eridan's palebro, and being like his palebro, it's kind of my motherfuckin responsibility to all solve his problems what he can't solve on his own motherfuckin self.
TC: And right now, your being all motherfuckin angry on him is a problem, and you already made that shit clear as crystal Faygo what you aren't hearin a motherfuckin peep off of him.
TC: So it all falls to me to resolve this shit on my own self.
TC: So let's talk.
TC: Motherfucker.
CG: UH
CG: OKAY
CG: WE'LL TALK
TC: Okay, good.
CG: SO
CG: WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT, GAMZEE?
TC: Well, first of all, if I may.
TC: I'd ask what you not refer to me like Gamzee.
TC: That shit's my old name, an artifact of an older persona what doesn't exist on any particular fashion anymore.
CG: WHAT?
CG: YOU'RE CHANGING YOUR NAME?
TC: Shit yeah, brother.
TC: The Verbal Messiah, throughout Rufio, his Prophet, has enlightened me on becoming one with The Flow, and via its rhythmic pulse my old self has been destroyed and rebuilt anew, shining and whole.
TC: And within this new ego, he also bequeathed upon me a new name, fitting for the Prophet's closest disciple.
TC: From now on, I humbly request what you refer to me as Thud Butt.
CG: THUD BUTT.
TC: Yes.
CG: OKAY
CG: AS MUCH AS I WANT TO RESPECT YOUR WEIRD NEW RELIGION
CG: THERE IS PRETTY MUCH NO FUCKING WAY I'M CALLING YOU THAT.
TC: Yeah, I kind of up and figured that was something you'd never motherfuckin agree upon.
TC: Thought it was all worth a motherfuckin shot, though.
CG: YEAH, NO, NOT REALLY.
TC: Well, shit.
CG: SO SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
TC: You tell me, motherfucker.
TC: You're the one what's all up and gettin' his angry on.
CG: SO YOU WANT ME TO SAY WHY I'M ANGRY.
CG: LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY FUCKING KNOW.
TC: Sure, brother.
TC: Just get that shit all out over the motherfuckin table so we can get a good motherfuckin peek up on it.
CG: OKAY, FINE.
CG: I'M ANGRY BECAUSE YOUR "PALEBRO" WENT BEHIND MY BACK TO BECOME MATESPRITS WITH TEREZI, EVEN THOUGH HE ALREADY KNEW I WAS FLUSHED FOR HER.
CG: IS THAT A COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE THING TO BE FUCKING FURIOUS ABOUT?
TC: Nah, bro, I see where you're coming out of.
TC: The two of you probably made some sort of pact where he'd all agree to stay the fuck off your girl before you made your move.
TC: And he up and broke that shit like a priceless vase precariously perched up on the world's shakiest motherfuckin pedestal.
CG: UH
CG: NOT EXACTLY.
TC: What?
CG: WE NEVER REALLY MADE ANY SORT OF PACT.
TC: Oh.
TC: Well still, I get why you're all feelin betrayed.
TC: You up and confided that shit for him, and the motherfucker totally broke your trust.
CG: UGH, OKAY, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
TC: Doing what, motherfucker?
TC: I'm just all drawing some motherfuckin conclusions based over the information what you're up and providing at me.
CG: DON'T PLAY DUMB, GAMZEE.
CG: I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF YOU BEING GENUINELY DUMB TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FAKING IT.
TC: Bro, going solely out of just how motherfuckin angry you are in this whole situation, I'm sort of up and assuming the worst for anything you tell at me.
TC: So if I'm reaching a conclusion you find to be erroneous, you might feel the need to motherfuckin elucidate.
CG: OKAY, OKAY, FINE.
CG: I NEVER ACTUALLY TOLD HIM I WAS FLUSHED FOR TEREZI.
TC: Oh, okay.
CG: BUT HE STILL KNEW.
TC: He guessed.
CG: HE DEDUCED.
TC: But he didn't confirm.
CG: SO WHY DIDN'T HE CONFIRM?
CG: HOW FUCKING HARD WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN?
CG: SEND ME A MESSAGE SAYING, "HEY, I'M GONNA PULL SOME RIDICULOUS FUCKING ROLEPLAYING STUNT TO HOOK UP WITH TEREZI, IS THAT COOL? LOVE, ERIDAN."
TC: Well, fuck, I'll admit it probably would've been a good motherfuckin idea to confirm his suspicions under you and your feelings at the motherfuckin dragonsis.
TC: But there's some shit you should probably know.
CG: WHAT?
TC: Now, keep on your motherfuckin think pan, I'm only telling this shit at you because I think if my palebro were talking at you, he'd say this shit towards you his own motherfuckin self.
TC: But before he went through in this shit, he told at me that he thought you might be flushed at Terezi, and he was afraid this shit would all put some serious hurt on your feelings.
TC: But he was pretty confident that it wouldn't be that motherfuckin bad.
CG: WHAT.
CG: WHY THE FUCK NOT?
TC: Couldn't say, motherfucker.
TC: I asked him why, but he just said it was a motherfuckin secret.
CG: OKAY, THAT IS A SERIOUSLY BULGE-CHAFING LOAD OF BEHEMOTH LEAVINGS.
CG: WHAT SECRET ABOUT ME COULD HE POSSIBLY HAVE THAT WOULD MAKE HIM THINK IT WAS OKAY FOR HIM TO GO AFTER TEREZI?
TC: Told you, bro, I ain't got a motherfuckin clue.
TC: Could be he thought it was just a little crush, and that once he all made his move, you'd just lose motherfuckin interest on it.
TC: Or maybe he thought you weren't interested over any of this romance shit at all, and the only shits you gave were on beatin the game.
TC: Fuck, I don't know, could have even thought there was some other motherfucker what you were flushed at even more than your clientsis.
CG: WHAT.
CG: OKAY, NO, THAT IS SOME COMPLETE MUSCLEBEAST DISCHARGE.
CG: WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD HE THINK I WAS FLUSHED FOR??
TC: I don't know, bro.
TC: Is there any motherfucker what you're flushed for?
CG: AND JUST HOW IN THE NAME OF FUCK IS THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?
TC: I'll admit my business doesn't do any motherfuckin dealing in shit of that particular variety.
TC: But if you actually were all up and flushing on some other motherfucker that hard, I'm not thinking it would be a huge motherfuckin stretch what he might have picked up off that shit.
TC: I mean, he found out around your feelings against Terezi.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DIFFERENCE DOES THIS EVEN MAKE?
CG: WHATEVER HIS REASONS WERE, THEY WERE SOME SERIOUSLY SPECIOUS SHIT.
CG: THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS HE KNEW I WAS FLUSHED FOR HER, AND HE WENT AHEAD WITH HIS LITTLE SCHEME ANYWAY.
CG: AND ENORMOUS FUCKING SURPRISE: I'M ANGRY!!!!!
CG: WOW!!!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT???????
TC: Bro, I perfectly motherfuckin understand your all up and being motherfuckin angry around this.
TC: I ain't saying you're unjustified on that shit at all.
TC: But my palebro's real motherfuckin upset under this whole shitstorm, and there's got to be some shit we can do on it.
CG: OF COURSE'S HE'S FUCKING UPSET.
CG: I CALLED HIM A TRAITOR AND ACCUSED TEREZI OF HOOKING UP WITH HIM JUST TO FUCK WITH ME.
CG: BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT TO DO ABOUT IT? CHALLENGE ME TO A DUEL OR SOMETHING?
TC: Nah, motherfucker, you all misunderstood at me.
TC: He's upset, but I never motherfuckin said he was angry towards you.
TC: Truth in the matter is, the motherfucker's outright despondent.
CG: WHAT.
CG: SO HE'S NOT MAD, HE'S
CG: DEPRESSED?
TC: Yeah, motherfucker, he's pretty much inconsolable.
TC: He feels as a proper motherfucker what for going around your motherfuckin back on all this.
TC: But all on the same time... he really loves her, bro.
TC: And now he all feels as he's got to up and choose between his best friend and his matesprit.
CG: HE DOES?
TC: Yeah, brother.
CG: WELL
CG: UGH.
CG: WHY THE FUCK IS NOBODY ELSE MAD ABOUT THIS???
CG: IT'S LIKE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO'S REMOTELY ANGRY ABOUT THIS IS TEREZI
CG: WHO'S JUST INSANELY FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT IT FOR SOME REASON.
TC: Yeah, about that, bro...
CG: WHAT?
TC: All up in that last memo, it seems like...
TC: Well...
TC: You were getting, like, REALLY motherfuckin angry on her.
TC: Like, scary angry.
CG: UGH, YEAH, I KNOW.
CG: BUT YOU SAW THE SHIT SHE WAS SAYING TO ME, RIGHT?
CG: IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS GOING OUT OF HER WAY TO PISS ME OFF.
TC: Shit, I don't know, maybe she was.
TC: Still though, motherfucker, it just seems motherfuckin weird how mad you all got up at that sister.
CG: HOW IS IT WEIRD?
CG: I'M THE ANGRY GUY. IT'S KIND OF MY THING.
CG: THE FACT THAT SHE WAS PROBABLY DELIBERATELY EGGING ME ON IS JUST THE PISS-FLAVORED ICING ON THE TRIPLE DECKER HATE CAKE.
TC: Yeah, but you're flushed on her, right?
CG: WELL, NOT ANY FUCKING MORE I'M NOT!
TC: But you were on the motherfuckin time.
CG: JUST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IMPLYING HERE, GAMZEE?
TC: Ain't implying shit, motherfucker.
TC: Just trying to see where the fuck all this rage is coming the mother fuck out of.
CG: IT'S CALLED VACILLATION, OKAY?
CG: IT'S A PERFECTLY NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS TO TROLLS OF ALL AGES WHEN THEY'RE IN THE THROES OF CONCUPISCENT LUST.
CG: I MEAN, FUCK, EVEN YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE.
CG: REMEMBER A FEW DAYS AGO, WHEN YOU WERE THREATENING TO CULL TAVROS?
TC: Yeah, but I was suffering on severe motherfuckin withdrawal symptoms under a psychotropic hallucinogen that I'd been ingesting in massive motherfuckin quantities.
CG: ...
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
TC: What?
CG: GAMZEE, WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU LEARN ALL THESE WORDS?
TC: Awwww shit, it wasn't any of my motherfuckin intention to all up and spray my logorrhea all up on this conversation.
TC: I'm just all tryin to diversify my motherfuckin vocabulary for the sake of my slams, bro.
CG: YOUR SLAMS.
TC: Yeah, bro.
TC: Slam poetry.
TC: It's all about slinging rhymes and shit.
TC: So the ways I'm all seeing it, the more words you know, the more rhymes you can make.
TC: And thus the more pain you can bring to the motherfuckin slamming grounds.
CG: UH
CG: OKAY
TC: My palebro all hooked me up within this motherfuckin book called a "thesaurus" or some such shit like that.
TC: It's got all these motherfuckin words up on it and then a whole motherfuckin cluster of words what mean the same thing.
TC: It's some seriously salubrious shit.
CG: UM
TC: Oh fuck, speakin on salubrious shit, I've got to all up and get that pie off the motherfuckin oven.
TC: Sorry if I'm all distracted and shit.
CG: WAIT, WHAT?
CG: GAMZEE, ARE YOU BACK ON THE PIES AGAIN????
TC: Awwww shit, look at this motherfucker all up and being unclear over this shit.
TC: I ain't talking around THE pies, bro.
TC: Now, don't get all motherfuckin wrong on me, I AM currently baking a whole mother fuck load of pies all up in this bitchin kitchen.
TC: But I ain't throwing any motherfuckin slime on any of that shit.
CG: OKAY
CG: SO YOU'RE MAKING
CG: REGULAR PIES.
TC: I ain't sure if I'd be content to all up and call this shit regular, but yeah bro, these are definitely pies on a more conventional motherfuckin sense.
TC: Just pulling a cherry motherfucker off the oven right now, gotta let that shit chill the fuck out in the windowsill for a spell.
TC: I was actually baking that shit all on honor for the happy new motherfuckin couple, being all honest and shit.
TC: Wanted to bake a motherfuckin cake, but that shit's way the mother fuck out of my skill level now, so I started with something simple.
TC: I figured the sis would dig it just on the motherfuckin color alone.
CG: OH.
CG: THAT'S
CG: NICE, I GUESS?
TC: Aw fuck, sorry, bro.
TC: Look at me all up and rubbing the granular ionic compound all down on that gaping motherfuckin wound of yours.
CG: NO, IT'S FINE.
CG: THIS IS TOO WEIRD TO MAKE ME ANGRY.
CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BAKING PIES?
TC: Well, ever since I all kicked the sopor like a motherfuckin hackey sack, I got all these empty pie tins and fuck all to do within them.
TC: Took that shit up to the consort village, looking to buy myself some fresh motherfuckin ingredients,
TC: But when I flashed a motherfuckin tin out, all these olms or whatever the fuck they are start flippin their shit off at me around some kind of motherfuckin quest.
TC: So now I'm up in this motherfuckin amphibian kitchen, baking down some motherfuckin pies up with all these rowdy motherfuckers.
CG: SERIOUSLY?
CG: WHAT KIND OF NOOKMUNCHINGLY IDIOTIC QUEST REQUIRES YOU TO BAKE PIES TO COMPLETE IT??
TC: Well, shit sounds simple enough. Bake fifty pies and turn all those motherfuckers in on the head chef.
TC: He's the one wearing the biggest, fanciest motherfuckin chef's hat.
TC: Or at least he was, until I up and ganked that shit.
TC: Now he's the only amphibious motherfucker in this victualblock what's gone unhaberdashed.
TC: He's still pretty mad on that particular issue, now that I'm all getting my think on about it.
TC: I don't suppose you all got any sort of replacement hat what I could give this rancorous motherfucker to make him get his calm on?
CG: UM
CG: WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM HIS HAT BACK?
TC: Naw, I don't think you understand, motherfucker.
TC: This hat.
TC: This hat is a motherfuckin miracle all up on its motherfuckin self.
CG: UGH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, FINE.
CG: AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK I DO HAVE A HAT SOMEWHERE IN THIS AWFUL SYLLADEX OF MINE.
CG: OKAY, HERE'S THE CODE
CG: MHaMotMC
TC: Okay, let me just punch that shit all up in my pocket holomiter.
TC: Awwwww shit, this is the hat what that angry motherfucker with the knives was all wearing, isn't it?
CG: IT WAS HIS SPARE, ACTUALLY
CG: HE GAVE IT TO ME AS A GIFT
CG: AND THEN HE STABBED ME
CG: BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS A STAB OF APPROVAL.
TC: Hahaha, fuck yeah.
TC: Aw shit, I'm pretty motherfuckin sure this gourmet motherfucker approves over it most heartily.
TC: Says it makes him look hardboiled, and I'm pretty motherfuckin inclined on agreeing.
TC: Thanks on that shit, bro.
CG: YEAH, DON'T MENTION IT.
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STUPID QUEST?
CG: BECAUSE IT LOOKS TO ME TO BE AN INSULTINGLY BLATANT WASTE OF TIME.
TC: I was thinking all that particular shit up at first too, motherfucker, but apparently this shit's tied onto my Rage powers somehow.
TC: Thinkin on it, I guess it kind of makes motherfuckin sense.
TC: When I first got up in this victualblock, all these motherfuckin geckos or whatever the fuck they are were all wreckin some motherfuckin havoc up in this bitch.
TC: All screamin and hollerin and throwin motherfuckin flour and shit all every which motherfuckin possible way what shit can be thrown.
TC: But after I got here, I kinda got all these rowdy motherfuckers into control, and now we're crankin up pies like nobody's motherfuckin business.
TC: Shit's settled onto a pretty decent motherfuckin rhythm, bro.
TC: Maybe even decent enough to slam on...
CG: OH MY DEAR SWEET FUCK NO.
CG: GAMZEE, IF YOU START RAPPING, I AM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL MYSELF.
CG: I WILL TAKE OUT MY SICKLE AND DRAW IT ACROSS MY EAGER THROAT
CG: AND WITH MY DYING BREATHS, I WILL GATHER THE LIFEFORCE DRIPPING FROM MY JUGULAR INTO MY TREMBLING HANDS AND SCRAWL ONE FINAL CHILLING MESSAGE ONTO THE WALLS OF MY HIVE.
CG: AND THAT MESSAGE WILL BE
CG: "GAMZEE'S SHITTY POETRY MADE ME DO THIS."
TC: Shit, okay, bro, I won't start rapping on you.
TC: Ain't got to lose your shit all up under it.
CG: YES I DO.
TC: 'Sides, I'm trying to keep that shit private across me and Tavros.
TC: It's kind of a thing with us.
CG: UH
CG: SHOULD I EVEN ASK?
TC: I wouldn't, motherfucker.
CG: EEEUUUUGH.
TC: Anyway, you want a motherfuckin pie?
TC: I could all send the captcha code up at you and you could alchemize that shit up like it's fresh out the motherfuckin windowsill.
CG: YOU WANT TO SEND ME A PIE?
TC: Sure, bro.
TC: When a motherfucker's spirits are all being down, nothing warms that shit up away to Skaia like a warm, delicious slice of motherfuckin pie.
CG: UH
CG: OKAY, I GUESS
TC: What flavor were you all up and wanting, bro?
CG: FUCK, I DON'T KNOW.
CG: ANYTHING BUT CHERRY.
TC: Yeah, that shit needs some more time to get its motherfuckin chill on within the first place.
TC: Oh fuck, I know, I'll send you a motherfuckin apple rock and rye.
CG: APPLE WHAT?
TC: Here, I'll give you the motherfuckin captcha code.
TC: IDWtTtaS
CG: OKAY, GIVE ME A SECOND HERE.
CG: UH
CG: WOW
CG: HOLY SHIT.
CG: GAMZEE, THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD.
TC: Haha, thanks, brother.
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: THE CRUST IS ALL LIGHT AND FLAKY
CG: AND THEN THE FILLING IS ALL WARM AND GOOEY
CG: AND THERE'S DEFINITELY APPLES IN THERE
CG: BUT IT TASTES LIKE SOMETHING ELSE IS IN THERE, TOO.
CG: IT ALMOST TASTES LIKE
CG: ALCOHOL?
TC: Oh, that's just the secret motherfuckin ingredient.
CG: WHAT IS IT?
CG: FUCK, IT ISN'T SOPOR, IS IT?
TC: Nah, it ain't any such shit like that, motherfucker.
TC: Just a little personal tweak I all made to the recipe.
TC: Whereas it all calls for some simple syrup, I just replace that shit with some boiled up Faygo.
CG: HRKRFHFDJKGBDKSJHFSDGKKLJH
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CG: GAMZEE, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT????
CG: OH GOD, I
CG: I PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH!
CG: I FUCKING SWALLOWED IT!!!
CG: THAT CLOWNISH EFFLUVIA IS STEWING IN MY DIGESTION SAC AS WE FUCKING SPEAK!!!!!
CG: FUCKING SON OF A FUCK
CG: I'VE GOT TO GET IT OUT
CG: FUCK, HOW DO YOU INDUCE VOMITING AGAIN?
CG: YOU STICK LIKE TWO FINGERS DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE, RIGHT???
TC: Bro.
TC: I think you're motherfuckin overreacting.
CG: I'M NOT OVERREACTING, YOU TEN GALLON BARREL OF FUCK!
CG: THIS SHIT IS LIKE FUCKING BRAIN POISON
TC: Bro, it's just...
TC: It's just water and sugar.
TC: And some natural and artificial motherfuckin flavors, I guess.
CG: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, ASSHOLE??
CG: YOU THINK IT'S SOME KIND OF BIG MOTHERFUCKING JOKE THAT YOU JUST TRIED TO FUCKING POISON ME WITH THIS TOXIC FUCKING SWILL???
CG: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU!
CG: FUCK YOU, AND FUCK ERIDAN, AND FUCK EVERY NOOKSCRAPING SACK OF PUSTULANT WHALE PHLEGM THAT EVER WILLINGLY POURED THAT FROTHING ELIXIR OF DESPAIR INTO HIS GAPING WINDHOLE!
CG: I HOPE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES GETS DIABETES, AND KANAYA IS FORCED TO REDUCE YOU ALL TO A BUNCH OF BLIND, TOOTHLESS TORSOS!
TC: Karkat.
CG: WHAT???
TC: You're kind of being an asshole right now.
TC: So calm the mother fuck down.
CG: I
CG: UH
CG: I AM BEING AN ASSHOLE, AREN'T I?
TC: Yeah, motherfucker.
CG: FUCK.
CG: OKAY, JUST
CG: UGH.
CG: SORRY.
TC: It's cool, bro.
CG: NO IT'S NOT FUCKING COOL.
CG: LIKE, I'M JUST
CG: I'M BASICALLY A COMPLETELY IRREDEEMABLE ASSHOLE.
CG: IT'S LIKE, BEFORE I KIND OF TOOK IT FOR GRANTED THAT ABOUT HALF OF MY FRIENDS WERE UNLOVABLE SOCIOPATHS
CG: WHICH MADE ME AT LEAST A SEMI-DECENT PERSON PRETTY MUCH BY DEFAULT
CG: BUT NOW NEPETA'S SHIPPING EVERYONE, AND VRISKA'S BEING ALL NICE, AND ERIDAN'S BEING ALL NOBLE
CG: AND FOR WHATEVER FUCKING REASON, YOU SOMEHOW BECAME SOMETHING MORE THAN A COMPLETE WASTE OF SPACE
CG: BUT I'M JUST MY SAME OLD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SELF
CG: AND NOW MY WHOLE "ANGRY SHOUTY GUY" SHTICK IS JUST FUELING PARADOX SPACE'S FASTEST SCUTTLEBUGGY IN A RACE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE FRIEND HEAP.
CG: I AM THE WORST GUY.
CG: IT'S ME.
TC: I don't know when it's all true what you're the worst motherfuckin guy, bro.
CG: REALLY?
CG: NAME ONE PERSON WORSE THAN ME.
TC: Well...
TC: Equius is still the same motherfuckin tool what he always was.
CG: HAHAHA, YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
CG: OKAY, SO MAYBE I'M JUST THE SECOND WORST GUY.
CG: BUT THEY DON'T HAND OUT TROPHIES JUST FOR NOT BEING IN LAST.
TC: Nah, I guess not.
TC: Still, ain't no motherfuckin place to go off the bottom but up.
CG: YEAH, I GUESS
CG: BUT WHERE DO I EVEN START?
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: NO OFFENSE, GAMZEE, BUT YOU USED TO BE JUST A COMPLETELY WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT.
CG: BUT NOW YOU'RE
CG: THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT?
CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?
TC: It was all within the help of my motherfuckin friends, bro.
TC: Ain't none of this shit would've been possible excluding the motherfuckin help of Tavros and Eridan.
TC: And shit, can't up and leave off the initial motherfuckin meddling from the catsister making all that shit go up on the first place.
CG: WELL
CG: THAT KIND OF MAKES SENSE, I GUESS.
TC: Maybe you could all enlist her motherfuckin help on yourself, bro.
CG: WHAT?
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
TC: I mean, get that lady to work her shipping magic all up on you.
TC: All find you a motherfuckin matesprit and a motherfuckin moirail.
CG: I
CG: UH
CG: I CAN'T REALLY TALK TO HER.
TC: Why the mother fuck not?
CG: I JUST
CG: I CAN'T, OKAY?
TC: Well, shit, if you say so.
TC: Still, it might all be in your motherfuckin benefit to find yourself a motherfuckin moirail anyway.
CG: LIKE WHO, EXACTLY?
CG: THE WELL IS KIND OF DRYING UP, GAMZEE, AND ALL THE REAL PSYCHOPATHS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY.
CG: WHO DOES THAT LEAVE ME WITH?
CG: ARADIA, MAYBE?
CG: IS SHE STILL RANDOMLY DESTROYING SHIT?
TC: Uh...
CG: WELL, I GUESS THERE'S SOLLUX TOO
CG: BUT UGH.
CG: I DON'T THINK I COULD MAKE IT THROUGH A FEELINGS JAM WITH THAT GUY WITHOUT PUNCHING HIM IN HIS SMUG MUTANT FACE.
CG: SERIOUSLY, I'M PRETTY MUCH OUT OF OPTIONS HERE.
TC: Uh, bro?
CG: WHAT
TC: Why are you all just motherfuckin assuming your moirail's got to be a dangerous motherfucker?
CG: BECAUSE, GAMZEE
CG: I'M A BORN CONCILIATOR.
CG: IF I'M GOING TO BE IN A MOIRALLEGIANCE, I'M GOING TO BE THE ONE DOING ALL THE SHOOSHING AND PAPPING, OKAY?
CG: THAT'S JUST HOW IT WORKS.
TC: Well...
TC: What if it wasn't?
CG: WHAT.
TC: What if you were the rowdy motherfucker what needed pacifying via some other calm, collected brother or sister?
CG: GAMZEE, I DON'T THINK YOU GET THIS.
CG: I AM THE TROLL MEL GIBSON TO NO MAN'S TROLL DANNY GLOVER.
CG: IF ANYONE IS GOING TO BE TROLL DANNY GLOVER, IT'S GOING TO BE ME.
TC: Uhhh...
TC: What?
CG: YOU KNOW, THE TROLL DANNY GLOVER TO SOMEBODY'S TROLL MEL GISBON?
CG: THE TROLL JACKIE CHAN TO THEIR TROLL CHRIS TUCKER?
CG: THE COMBINED TROLL JUDGE REINHOLD AND TROLL JOHN ASHTON TO THEIR TROLL EDDIE MURPHY?
CG: ARE YOU HONESTLY TELLING ME YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A PALE ROMANTIC COMEDY IN YOUR ENTIRE POINTLESS LIFE???
TC: Uh, not really?
CG: LOOK, THE POINT IS, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO INTEREST IN BEING IN A MOIRALLEGIANCE WHERE I'M THE ONE BEING KEPT IN LINE.
TC: Shit's not as bad as it motherfuckin sounds, bro.
TC: It's just when your shit gets up and wound too motherfuckin tight, you've got a motherfucker there what can unwind it.
TC: You sure you wouldn't be all interested on that?
TC: Maybe getting all up in a pile with the motherfuckin fish princess and glubbing your problems away?
CG: FEFERI? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
CG: I KIND OF CAN'T STAND HER.
CG: TALKING TO HER IS LIKE A CHTHONIC TENTACLE FORCING RAW SUGAR DOWN MY UNWILLING GULLET WHILE A SCHOOL OF UNDULATING HORRORS SING A DELIGHTFUL CHORUS ON THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.
CG: OH GOD, I CAN FEEL ITS SLIMY, UNCTUOUS THRASHING IN MY THROAT JUST THINKING OF THE SOUND OF HER VOICE.
TC: Uh...
TC: Okay, well what around the fairy grubmother?
CG: WHO?
TC: Kanaya.
CG: THAT'S A TERRIBLE NICKNAME, IDIOT.
TC: Well, fuck, they can't all be motherfuckin winners.
TC: But still, I could see you and her all gettin motherfuckin cozy while she up and gets her meddle on all up under you.
CG: OKAY, LET ME MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW:
CG: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THE FUCKING SLIGHTEST IN SOME FLIGHTY BROAD DOTING OVER ME LIKE A FRESHLY HATCHED GRUB, OKAY?
CG: I'M NOT ABOUT TO SPILL MY GUTS TO KANAYA ABOUT ALL MY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AND LET HER DEFUSE ALL MY STUPID LITTLE HANGUPS WITH ALL HER "LOGIC" AND "REASONING" HORSESHIT.
CG: AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO LAY IN A PILE WITH HER AND LET HER COO AFFIRMATIONS INTO MY EAR AS SHE SLOWLY RUBS THE BASE OF MY HORNS, SENDING WAVES OF RELAXATION COURSING THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BODY.
CG: I DON'T WANT THAT.
CG: SERIOUSLY.
TC: You don't.
CG: I DON'T.
CG: AND EVEN IF I DID, I COULDN'T HAVE IT.
TC: Now, just what the mother fuck makes you up and say that shit?
CG: LOOK, I'M THE LEADER, OKAY?
CG: IF I HAD A MOIRAIL TRYING TO KEEP ME IN CHECK, JUST WHAT THE FUCK WOULD THAT SAY ABOUT ME?
CG: IT'D SAY I WAS CRAZY, AND STUPID
CG: AND WEAK
CG: AND EVERYBODY WOULD JUST
CG: THEY'D LOSE ALL RESPECT FOR ME.
TC: I don't think that's true, bro.
TC: Every motherfucker needs help sometimes.
TC: Ain't like you've got to be perfect or any shit as that.
CG: YES I DO!
CG: I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING AN EXAMPLE HERE.
CG: EVERYBODY IS LOOKING UP TO ME.
CG: EVERYBODY IS COUNTING ON ME.
CG: AND IF I HAVE A MOIRAIL KEEPING ME ON A LEASH, IT'S LIKE
CG: IT'S ADMITTING I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.
CG: AND I CAN'T DO THAT.
CG: I WON'T.
TC: I don't know, motherfucker.
TC: I can't think of any motherfucker what would all judge you in this.
TC: I wouldn't, on any case.
CG: LOOK, GAMZEE
CG: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, OKAY?
CG: ESPECIALLY NOT TO YOU.
TC: What's that shit mean, "especially not to me?"
CG: IT'S
CG: NEVERMIND, JUST FORGET IT.
TC: Alright, fine, motherfucker.
TC: But I'm just tryin to help and shit.
CG: WELL, THANKS FOR YOUR HELP, BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
TC: If that's how you're all feelin, I guess there ain't much shit I can all do on that.
TC: But still, think over that shit.
CG: FINE, WHATEVER.
TC: Anyway, I know you're still all broken the mother fuck out under this shit across you and the dragonsis...
TC: But please don't blame my motherfuckin palebro on it.
TC: The only reason he went through on this shit is cause he was convinced you wouldn't take it so hard.
TC: And he feels like a proper piece of shit what for being as wrong like he was over it.
CG: WELL, IF I DON'T BLAME HIM, THEN JUST WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BLAME?
TC: Well, it ain't my motherfuckin place what to tell you who to get your motherfuckin blame on towards.
TC: Just don't blame Eridan.
CG: WELL
CG: I GUESS TEREZI'S THE ONE WHO AGREED TO IT.
TC: Yeah, I guess.
CG: OKAY, FINE.
CG: I'LL ADMIT I SHOLDN'T BE AS ANGRY AT HIM ABOUT THIS AS I AM
CG: BUT I CAN'T JUST GO APOLOGIZE TO HIM.
CG: NOT SO SOON AFTER WHAT HAPPENED.
TC: Alright, motherfucker, I get it.
CG: BUT JUST
CG: TELL HIM I'M NOT THAT MAD, OKAY?
CG: AT LEAST, NOT AT HIM.
TC: Sure thing, bro.
TC: But if he could all talk at you under privacy, he'd be the motherfucker what wanted to apologize at you.
CG: I'M WELL AWARE OF THAT.
CG: BUT I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO BE APOLOGIZED TO RIGHT NOW.
TC: Yeah, I get you, bro.
CG: YOU'RE A GOOD MOIRAIL, GAMZEE.
TC: I'm just all lookin the mother fuck out for my palebro cause he's lookin out for me.
TC: Every motherfucker's got an important job to do.
CG: YEAH, MAYBE.
TC: Hey, I know my business probably still hasn't incorporated this shit onto its motherfuckin portfolio...
TC: But is there any other motherfucker what you're flushing on?
CG: WHAT?
CG: WHY DO YOU CARE?
TC: Cause I'd have a serious motherfuckin problem if my palebro just snatched off the only troll what my best platonic friend's ever been flushed for.
CG: WELL
CG: UH
TC: What?
CG: NEVERMIND, JUST FORGET IT.
TC: Forget it.
CG: YEAH, I JUST
CG: I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT THIS.
TC: So there is another motherfucker you're flushed over.
CG: OKAY, MAYBE THERE IS.
TC: So who is it?
CG: THAT'S STILL PRECISELY NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
TC: Yeah, I guess the mother fuck not.
TC: But still, seems like you could use another motherfucker what to talk around that shit toward.
CG: WELL
CG: ALRIGHT, LOOK
CG: CAN YOU JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE FOR A SECOND?
TC: Sure, motherfucker, lay that shit down.
CG: OKAY.
CG: LET'S SAY, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING
CG: THERE'S A TROLL
CG: AND LET'S SAY THIS TROLL HAS HAD RED FEELINGS FOR YOU IN THE PAST.
CG: AND THEY'VE TRIED TO KEEP IT A SECRET, BUT YOU JUST SORT OF DEDUCED IT ON YOUR OWN.
CG: YOU WITH ME SO FAR?
TC: Yeah, bro.
CG: OKAY, SO YOU KNOW THIS TROLL, AND YOU KNOW THEY'VE GOT FEELINGS FOR YOU, BUT YOU DON'T RECIPROCATE.
CG: BECAUSE THIS TROLL IS JUST A STONE COLD RETARDED FUCKING IDIOT, AND YOU ARE JUST UTTERLY INCAPABLE OF RESPECTING THEM.
CG: DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
TC: Uh...
TC: Shit, I guess so.
CG: ALRIGHT, SO THAT'S IN THE PAST.
CG: BUT NOW, IN THE PRESENT DAY, THINGS ARE DIFFERENT.
CG: LIKE, PRACTICALLY OVERDAY, THIS TROLL HAS GONE FROM DROOLING IDIOT TO INSANE, HYPERCOMPETENT BADASS.
CG: AND NOW, OH LOOK AT THAT, NOW YOU'RE RETURNING ALL THOSE RED FEELINGS PRETTY FUCKING HARD.
CG: BUT THEY'RE SO MUCH SMARTER AND MORE MATURE NOW, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA IF THEY STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.
CG: AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, YOU LOSE YOUR SHIT AND COMPLETELY FLIP OUT AT THEM IN A REALLY EMBARRASSING AND STUPID WAY, AND YOU'RE PRETTY SURE THEY'VE NOW LOST ALL RESPECT FOR YOU ENTIRELY.
TC: Um...
CG: WHAT
TC: Just a quick motherfuckin question, bro.
CG: WHAT IS IT?
TC: Is this, uh, troll you're talking around...
TC: Already in the quadrant you're motherfuckin speaking on?
CG: NO.
TC: Oh.
TC: Shit, okay.
TC: Thought you might have been talking over something competely motherfuckin different there.
CG: LIKE WHAT?
TC: Nah, it doesn't matter.
TC: Keep on at your motherfuckin story, bro.
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE STORY, HONESTLY.
TC: Okay, so...
TC: What's the moral?
CG: WELL, I GUESS I'M JUST WONDERING
CG: IS THAT WEIRD?
TC: Not that motherfuckin weird, bro.
TC: If this hypothetical troll all changed as you're motherfuckin sayin they did, it's pretty motherfuckin understandable.
CG: YEAH, BUT
CG: COULD IT EVER HAPPEN?
CG: IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR ME TO SALVAGE THIS?
TC: Can't say without knowin more, motherfucker.
TC: You'd have to talk at them over it.
CG: WELL, I CAN'T JUST TALK TO HER.
CG: OR HIM.
CG: HER OR HIM.
CG: THAT'S A PERFECTLY NORMAL GRAMMATICAL CONSTRUCT, SHUT UP.
TC: I didn't say a motherfuckin thing, bro.
CG: YEAH, BUT YOU WERE GOING TO.
TC: You don't know that shit.
TC: I could've just all assumed one of the particulars on the Alternian language was giving you some serious motherfuckin trouble.
TC: Pronouns are kind of a bitch.
TC: I personally get all my problems on under prepositions, man.
TC: It's like...
TC: Fuckin prepositions.
TC: How do they work???
CG: HAHA, WHATEVER.
CG: ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW.
CG: MAYBE THIS WHOLE THING IS A STUPID IDEA, ANYWAY.
CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'D GO FOR IT.
TC: She or he.
CG: RIGHT, SHE OR HE.
TC: Anyway, I wouldn't give up over that shit, bro.
TC: If you're honestly motherfuckin flushed to her or him, you should seriously motherfuckin think on it.
CG: YEAH
CG: YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
TC: Shit, you could even talk on Nepeta over it.
TC: The catsis could probably all set up some kind of motherfuckin shippin gambit what could sweep this sister or brother right the fuck over her or his motherfuckin feet.
CG: UH
CG: YEAH, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
TC: Yeah, bro, just think on that shit.
TC: Ain't no motherfuckin harm what in thinkin under it.
CG: YEAH, I GUESS NOT.
TC: Anyway, thanks for hearin me the mother fuck out, bro.
TC: Means a lot on me and my palebro both.
CG: HEY, DON'T THANK ME.
CG: IF ANYTHING, I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
CG: I PRETTY STRONGLY FUCKING SUSPECT THAT THERE AREN'T THAT MANY TROLLS THAT ARE WILLING TO TALK TO ME AT THIS POINT.
TC: Nah, motherfucker, it's cool.
TC: Just lookin out over my best platonic motherfuckin friend.
CG: RIGHT.
TC: Anyway, I've gotta sign the mother fuck away.
TC: Shit's startin to get a little motherfuckin hectic again all up on this victualblock.
CG: YEAH, OKAY.
CG: THANKS AGAIN FOR THE PIE, BY THE WAY.
CG: IT'S DELICIOUS COMPLETELY IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT YOU PUT YOUR HORRIBLE CLOWN DRINK IN IT.
TC: Hahahaha, yeah, no problem, bro.
TC: If you're ever lookin after another motherfuckin recipe, hit me the mother fuck up.
CG: YEAH, SURE.
CG: ANYWAY
CG: SEE YOU AROUND, I GUESS?
TC: Sure thing, best platonic motherfuckin friend.
TC: Anyway, gotta go.
TC: But good luck on all that quadrant shit of yours.
CG: YEAH, THANKS.
CG: ANYWAY, BYE, GAMZEE.
TC: Bye, Karbro.
TC: And bangarang, motherfucker.
CG: WHAT?

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DOES BANGARANG MEAN?
CG: UGH, NEVERMIND.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC].

***

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

GC: H3Y
CA: oh hey ter
CA: you done wwith your thing wwith kan
GC: NO >8/
GC: W3 JUST SORT OF H1T 4 LULL
GC: SH3S 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF SOM3TH1NG W1TH N3P3T4
GC: SO 1M JUST K1ND OF S1TT1NG H3R3
GC: 4ND 1 W4S L1K3
GC: FUCK 1T
CA: ha yeah i get you
GC: SO WH4T 4R3 YOU UP TO?
CA: eh yknoww
CA: just sorta hangin around at the hivve
CA: drinkin a faygo
CA: usual stuff
GC: SOUNDS PR3TTY BOR1NG
CA: yeah wwell
CA: not really in the mood to do anything
GC: UGH
GC: 4R3 YOU ST1LL 4LL MOP3Y OV3R K4RKL3S?
CA: course im still mopey ovver kar
CA: the guy wwas like my best fuckin friend an noww he pretty much wwants to wwrite me outta his life completely
CA: wwhich is perfectly understandable seein as i pretty much stabbed him in the back as hard as any motherfucker can be stabbed in that particular fuckin area
GC: UGH, STOP 1T
GC: H3S JUST B31NG 4N 4SSHOL3
CA: maybe he is but hes perfectly justified in it
CA: i mean howw wwould you feel if you wwere flushed for somebody an your best friend just swwept em out from under you
GC: YOU D1DNT SW33P M3 OUT FROM UND3R H1M!!!
CA: fuck ok dont take that metaphor literally
GC: 1 W4SNT UND3R H1M 1N 4NY S3NS3!
GC: F1GUR4T1V3LY OR L1T3R4LLY
CA: yeah i knoww
CA: but there are rules about this kinda thing
GC: 3R1D4N, LOOK
GC: H3 H4D 3V3RY OPPORTUN1TY TO B3 MY M4T3SPR1T
GC: HON3STLY, 1F H3 JUST 4SK3D, 1 PROB4BLY WOULD H4V3 S41D Y3S
GC: BUT H3 D1DNT
GC: SO FUCK H1M
GC: YOU SNOOZ3 YOU LOS3
CA: yeah its easy to just say that but
CA: it doesnt feel right yknoww
GC: NO 1 DONT KNOW >8[
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N, 1T DO3SNT F33L R1GHT?
CA: wwell
CA: its not that i dont like you or anythin
CA: i mean hell i like you a lot
CA: an im just kind of assumin you like me too
GC: OF COURS3 1 DO!
CA: but i mean
CA: an i realize this is gonna sound stupid as all fuckin hell
CA: but before noww all these matesprits thatvve been hookin up havve been all about unrequited lovve wwinnin out
CA: an this is the first time its lost
CA: an its like
CA: im the guy that defeated it
CA: so wwhat the fuck kinda asshole does that make me
GC: OK4Y
GC: TH4T 1S K1ND OF STUP1D
CA: yeah i knoww but still
GC: W3LL
GC: 1F UNR3QU1T3D LOV3 W3R3 M34NT TO W1N OUT 3V3RY T1M3
GC: TH3N YOUD B3 M4T3SPR1TS W1TH F3F3R1 R1GHT NOW
CA: eh
CA: thats a point i guess
CA: its just
CA: it still kinda feels wwrong
CA: i mean not us specifically
CA: just me bein so successful in the romance department an kar bein left in the provverbial dust
GC: WHY?
CA: wwell
CA: i alwways just kinda figured hed be the successful one
CA: and id be the guy wwho ended up forevver alone
CA: like if life wwere a play evverybody else wwould end up becomin matesprits
CA: and id be the vvillain that exited pursued by a cholerbear
GC: WOW
GC: S3R1OUSLY?
CA: yep
GC: 3R1D4N
GC: YOU 4R3 JUST L1K3
GC: TH3 MOST 1NS3CUR3 GUY
CA: ugh believve me i knoww
GC: 1M NOT S4Y1NG 1TS 4 B4D TH1NG
GC: 1TS K1ND OF 4DOR4BL3 4CTU4LLY <3
GC: BUT HON3STLY
GC: L1F3 1S NOT 4 PL4Y
GC: 4ND 3V3N 1F 1T W3R3, WHO S4YS YOU WOULD B3 TH3 V1LL41N?
GC: YOUR3 TH3 ON3 WHOS GROW1NG 4ND D3V3LOP1NG 4S 4 CH4R4CT3R
GC: 4ND K4RKL3S 1S JUST B31NG H1S S4M3 OLD 1D1OT S3LF
GC: 1F 4NYTH1NG, H3S TH3 V1LL41N
CA: wwhat
CA: howw is kar the fuckin vvillain here
CA: im the one wwho fucked evverythin up
CA: wwhen i hooked up wwith you i just completely wwrecked things betwween me an him
CA: not to mention almost wwreckin things betwween you an nep too
GC: BL4R TH1S 1S SO STUP1D!!
GC: NON3 OF THOS3 TH1NGS 4R3 3V3N YOUR F4ULT
GC: TH3Y ONLY H4PP3N3D B3C4US3 K4RK4T 1S 4 SOR3 LOS3R
GC: 3MPH4S1S ON LOS3R >8]
CA: but youll admit all this happened cause wwe became matesprits
GC: W3LL Y34H
GC: BUT YOU C4NT CL41M SOL3 R3SPONS1B1L1TY FOR TH4T
GC: 1M TH3 ON3 WHO CHOS3 TO B3COM3 YOUR M4T3SPR1T, 4M 1 NOT?
CA: wwell
CA: yeah i guess
GC: SO 1F K4RKL3S HON3STLY H4S TO BL4M3 SOM3ON3 FOR TH1S
GC: H3 SHOULD B3 BL4M1NG M3
GC: 1 DONT G1V3 4 SH1T 1F H3 H4T3S M3
CA: uh
CA: about that ter
GC: WH4T
CA: noww im not tryin to accuse you of anythin here
CA: but on that last memo it seems like you wwere really goin after him
GC: OF COURS3 1 W4S!
GC: W3 W3R3 H4V1NG 4 P3RF3CTLY WOND3RFUL T1M3 ON TH4T M3MO
GC: 4ND TH3N H3 BURSTS 1N 4ND ST4RTS 1NSULTING YOU 4ND M3 BOTH
CA: wwell yeah
GC: BUT TH3 WORST P4RT 1S
GC: H3 M4D3 TH3 WHOL3 TH1NG 4BOUT H1MS3LF
GC: L1K3
GC: H3 HON3STLY TH1NKS 1 HOOK3D UP W1TH YOU 4S SOM3 SORT OF RUS3 JUST TO FUCK W1TH H1S H34D
GC: 1 M34N S3R1OUSLY
GC: JUST HOW N4RC1SS1ST1C DO YOU 3V3N H4V3 TO B3 JUST TO TH1NK SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T........
CA: uh
GC: NO TH4TS NOT WH4T 1M DO1NG!!!!!!
CA: hey i didnt say anythin
GC: BUT YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO, W3R3NT YOU?
CA: i object
CA: thats a leadin question
GC: OV3RRUL3D >8]
CA: wwell then i object to your ovverrulin my objection
GC: YOU C4NT DO TH4T TH4TS NOT HOW 1T WORKS!!!
CA: i dont care
CA: point a fact is im not answwerin your stupid question
GC: F1N3, CONS1D3R 1T W1THDR4WN
CA: but honestly ter
CA: i think you wwere bein really hard on him
CA: an im not tryin to pin this wwhole thing on you
CA: but i think you mightvve contributed to things escalatin the wway they did
GC: W3LL
GC: Y34H, TH4TS PROB4BLY TRU3
GC: BUT HON3STLY
GC: 1 JUST W4NT K4RK4T TO G3T OV3R M3
CA: wwhat
CA: wwhy
GC: WHY WOULDNT 1?
GC: 1F H3S FLUSH3D FOR M3, 4LL 1TS GO1NG TO DO 1S COMPL1C4T3 TH1NGS
GC: 1 DONT W4NT TO PL4Y TH3 ROL3 OF F3F3R1 ST4V1NG OFF PR3-SH1PP1NG YOU
GC: NO OFF3NS3
CA: haha no i get it
GC: 4NYW4Y
GC: 1 JUST TH1NK 3V3RYON3 1NVOLV3D WOULD B3 B3TT3R OFF 1F H3 W3R3 FLUSH3D FOR SOM3BODY 3LS3
GC: SO 1 D3C1D3D TO T4K3 MYS3LF OUT OF TH3 R4C3 TH3 MOST 3FF3CT1V3 W4Y 1 KNOW HOW
CA: just burn the bridge completely huh
GC: Y34H, PR3TTY MUCH
CA: i suppose its one wway a doin things
CA: thinkin about it the split wwith fef mightvve gone smoother if shed followwed your modus operandi for terminatin things wwith me
CA: but i guess shes just not a vvery hateful person
GC: 1 GU3SS NOT
GC: BUT 4NYW4Y, 3NOUGH 4BOUT K4RKL3S
GC: 1 DONT W4NT 3V3RY FUCK1NG CONV3RS4T1ON 1 H4V3 TO B3 4BOUT H1M
CA: yeah ok
CA: sorry for bein such a fuckin tool ovver this
GC: 1TS F1N3, 1 G3T 1T
CA: its just
CA: i feel like ivve got to choose betwween you an him
CA: an it fuckin sucks
GC: 1M NOT M4K1NG YOU CHOOS3 B3TW33N 4NYBODY
GC: K4RK4TS TH3 ON3 B31NG 4 DOUCH3 H3R3
CA: eh
CA: maybe
GC: H3 JUST DO3S TH1S SOM3T1M3S
GC: JUST G1V3 H1M SOM3 T1M3
GC: H3LL 3V3NTU4LLY R34L1Z3 WH4T 4N 4SSHOL3 H3S B31NG 4ND COM3 RUNN1NG B4CK TO 4POLOG1Z3 TO YOU
CA: wwell
CA: thats the best i can hope for i guess
CA: anywway i talked it ovver wwith gam an he said hed take care a things wwith kar
CA: wwhatevver that means
GC: 1S 1T TOO MUCH TO HOP3 FOR 4 SUBJUGGL4T1ON? >8]
CA: ter please
GC: 1M JUST K1DD1NG, J3GUS
CA: yeah i knoww but still
CA: anywway havve things progressed ovver there at all
GC: K1ND OF
GC: N3P3T4S ST4ND1NG H3R3 1N H3R UND3RW34R WH1L3 K4N4Y4 T4K3S H3R M34SUR3M3NTS
CA: wwhat
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WHY SH3S M4K1NG M3 W4TCH TH1S
GC: BUT 1M NOT COMPL41N1NG
GC: N3P3T4 H4S 4 N1C3 BUTT >8]
CA: yeah she does
CA: evven though shes wwearin that ratty old coat all the time its pretty obvvious
CA: just the wway it wwiggles around wwith that little sashay a hers
CA: hey youvve got a camera or somethin right you should send me a feww candid photos a that
GC: >8/
GC: OK4Y 3R1D4N
GC: JUST FOR TH3 R3CORD
GC: 1TS R34LLY B4D FORM TO 4SK YOUR M4T3SPR1T TO S3ND YOU P1CTUR3S OF 4NOTH3R TROLLS BUTT
GC: 3V3N 1F 1T 1S 4 R34LLY N1C3 BUTT
CA: oh cmon its not like im lookin for another matesprit
CA: and evven if i wwas nep is the last troll id turn to
GC: H3H3H3, F41R 3NOUGH
GC: OK4Y F1N3
GC: H3R3 YOU GO
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] sent caligulasAquarium [CA] the file "TH3POUNC3LLORSP4TOOT13.jpg" --
CA: patootie
CA: seariously
GC: 1TS C4LL3D 4LL1T3R4T1ON
GC: SO SHUT UP >8P
CA: haha wwhatevver
CA: but anywway
CA: that is indeed a fine fuckin derriere if i do say so myself
CA: its kinda surprisin actually
CA: like from the wwaist up shes really trim
CA: and then BAM thunder thighs outta fuckin nowwhere
GC: Y34H, SH3S 4LW4YS RUNN1NG 4ND JUMP1NG 4ND POUNC1NG
GC: SO SH3 H4S 4 LOT OF LOW3R BODY STR3NGTH
CA: yeah she must
CA: good lord it must be firm
CA: but wwith just enough givve yknoww
GC: BL4R OK4Y 3NOUGH!!
GC: STOP T4LK1NG 4BOUT N3P3T4S BUTT!!!
CA: wwhat are you gettin jealous
CA: wwould you rather i talk about your butt instead
GC: >8O
GC: NO!!!!
CA: cmon ter dont be embarrassed
CA: youre a mermaid you should be proud
GC: 4 M3RM41D?
CA: oh right i guess thats not really a common expression amongst landdwwellers
CA: but yknoww a mermaid
CA: seadwweller from the wwaist dowwn
GC: UUUGH
GC: TH4T 1S SO T3RR1BL3 >8P
CA: hey i didnt make the terminology i just use it ok
CA: anywway it just so happens im a man wwho can showw a little appreciation for a plush rump like yours
CA: bounce a caegar off it
CA: its not goin anywwhere
CA: in fact i bet that coinll take a nice nap there
GC: OK4Y OK4Y STOP
GC: 4LL OF TH1S BUTTCH4T 1S M4K1NG M3 1NCR3D1BLY FLUST3R3D
GC: 4ND 1M B3G1NN1NG TO C4CKL3 MOR3 TH4N 1 C4N G3N3R4LLY G3T 4W4Y W1TH
GC: 1TS ST4RT1NG TO 4ROUS3 SUSP1C1ON
CA: is it arousin anything else
GC: OK4Y COMM3NTS L1K3 TH4T R34LLY 4R3NT H3LP1NG!!!!
CA: ok ok buttchat is ovver
CA: so
CA: wwhat are wwe talkin about noww
GC: 1 DONT KNOW
CA: wwell
CA: hey i actually wwanted to ask you somethin
GC: WH4T
CA: yknoww that thing wwith ar on the last memo
GC: Y34H
CA: wwhat wwas the deal wwith that
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N, WH4T W4S TH3 D34L W1TH 1T?
GC: 1 4SK3D H3R TO G1V3 YOU TH3 T4LK
GC: 4ND SH3 D1D
CA: an you dont think theres anythin at all unusual about that
GC: WHY SHOULD TH3R3 B3?
CA: oh for fucks sake ter youre bein deliberately obtuse here
CA: i mean i dont knoww wwhat the wwhole deal wwith ar is
CA: but i knoww shes a ghost in a robot or some shit like that an she doesnt talk to anybody but that swweaty asshole eq
CA: so wwhy the fuck is she takin requests from you
GC: W3LL
GC: W3V3 K1ND OF B33N T4LK1NG R3C3NTLY
CA: really
CA: about wwhat
GC: W31RD T1M3 SH1T, MOSTLY
GC: TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG STR4NG3 GO1NG ON 1N TH1S T1M3L1N3
GC: 1TS 4PP4R3NTLY DOOM3D
GC: BUT 1TS NOT G3TT1NG D3STROY3D L1K3 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3S USU4LLY DO
CA: wwait wwhat
CA: wwere fuckin doomed
CA: god fuckin DAMNIT i shouldvve fuckin knowwn
CA: the one timeline wwhere i actually get a matesprit is completely fucked ovver by the fuckin time gods or wwhatevver
GC: 1TS NOT 4S B4D 4S 1T SOUNDS!
GC: SOM3TH1NGS HOLD1NG US 4LL B4CK FROM D3STRUCT1ON
GC: BUT 4R4D14 1SNT SUR3 WH4T 1T 1S
GC: OR WHY 1TS DO1NG 1T, FOR TH4T M4TT3R
CA: yeah but so wwhat
CA: wwere still doomed arent wwe wwhat fuckin difference does it make
GC: 1M NOT SUR3 Y3T
GC: BUT W3 M1GHT ST1LL H4V3 4 CH4NC3
CA: hmm
CA: so wwhy are you helpin her
GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N!
GC: NOBODY 3LS3 R34LLY G3TS 4LL TH1S T1M3 STUFF
GC: 4ND 4NYW4Y
GC: 1 L1K3 H3LP1NG H3R
GC: 4ND 1T S33MS L1K3 NOBODY 3LS3 R34LLY C4R3S 4BOUT H3R
GC: SH3 MUST B3 R34LLY LON3LY
CA: wwait
CA: ter
CA: are you
GC: OK4Y F1N3 1LL 4DM1T 1T!
GC: 1 4M SO COMPL3T3LY P4L3 FOR TH1S D34D ROBOT G1RL TH4T 1 HON3STLY DONT KNOW WH4T TO DO 4BOUT 1T!!!!
CA: oh
CA: uh
CA: ok
GC: BL4R, SORRY
GC: 1S TH4T W31RD?
CA: ter youre talkin to a guy wwhos palepals wwith a fuckin clowwn
CA: course i dont think its fuckin wweird
GC: Y34H, F41R 3NOUGH >8P
GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY THOUGH
GC: 1M NOT R34LLY SUR3 WH4T TO DO
CA: you could just talk to her
GC: 1 GU3SS
GC: BUT 1 DONT 3V3N KNOW 1F SH3 C4R3S 4BOUT QU4DR4NTS
GC: L1K3 1 KNOW SH3 H4S H3R WHOL3 TH1NG W1TH 3QU1US
GC: BUT SH3S N3V3R V3RY 3NTHUS14ST1C 4BOUT TH4T
CA: wwell
CA: you could talk to nep about it i guess
GC: 1 4LR34DY D1D
GC: SH3S TH3 ON3 WHO SUGG3ST3D W3 B3 MO1R41LS 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3
GC: 4ND NOW 1 C4NT STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T
CA: course thats wwhat it fuckin is
CA: nep implantin a shippin vvirus into your fuckin think pan
GC: SH3 R34LLY 1S QU1T3 D3V1OUS
CA: man tell me about it
CA: anywway i dont really knoww shit about ar and i dont knoww anybody wwho does
CA: so i guess all i can tell you is to talk to ar
CA: but i mean you dont havve to straight up ask her to be moirails
CA: just test the wwaters a little
CA: check if shes interested in quadrants in general
GC: Y34H
GC: TH4TS PROB4BLY 4 GOOD 1D34
GC: TH4NKS 3R1D4N
CA: yeah dont mention it
CA: but hey speakin a quadrants
CA: you givven any consideration to a kismesis
GC: >8?
GC: WHY DO YOU 4SK?
CA: just curious is all
CA: ivve alwways had a fascination wwith the black quadrant in particular
CA: just wwonderin if there wwas anybody you wwere thinkin about
GC: 3H
GC: NOT R34LLY
CA: really not anybody
GC: W3LL
GC: OK4Y
GC: PROM1S3 YOU WONT T3LL 4NYBODY TH1S?
CA: absolute fuckin confidentiality i guarantee you
GC: OK4Y
GC: TH3 TRUTH 1S
GC: 1 W4S K1ND OF BL4CK FOR VR1SK4
CA: oh
GC: 1 ST1LL 4M 4 L1TTL3, 4CTU4LLY
GC: BUT 1TS OBV1OUS SH3 DO3SNT H4T3 M3 4NYMOR3
GC: WH1CH S33MS 4 L1TTL3 W31RD, HON3STLY >8/
GC: L1K3
GC: WH4TS TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG W1TH H3R 4ND SOLLUX?
CA: wwhat you mean besides incredibly hot
GC: BL4R WH4T???
CA: hey look
CA: vvris is my ex kismesis
CA: and i wwas harborin some pretty searious black feelins for sol for quite some time
GC: WH4T, L1K3 4 W33K?
CA: yeah yeah technicalities
CA: anywway can you blame a guy for appreciatin a little vviolent hate screed betwween twwo former black suitors
GC: Y3S 1 C4N
GC: B3C4US3 TH4TS W31RD
CA: oh wwhat EVVER dont you evven judge me
GC: OH 1M NOT JUDG1NG YOU M1ST3R 4MPOR4
GC: 1M S1MPLY 4RGU1NG MY C4S3
GC: 1TS UP TO H1S HONOR4BL3 TYR4NNY TO D3C1D3 1F YOUR3 W31RD OR NOT
GC: OH W41T TH3 V3RD1CT JUST C4M3 1N
GC: 4ND H3 F1NDS YOU
GC: GU1LTY >8]
CA: oh
CA: wwell shit
GC: H3H3H3H3H3
CA: anywway not sure wwhat to tell you about vvris
CA: shes pretty searious about this wwhole thing wwith sol
CA: actually im sorta helpin her out wwith it myself
GC: S3R1OUSLY?
CA: uh yeah
CA: thats not a problem is it
CA: me an vvris bein in cahoots
GC: NO, NOT R34LLY
GC: 1TS NOT 4NY OF MY BUS1N3SS WHO YOUR3 FR13NDS W1TH
GC: 4ND HON3STLY
GC: 1 DONT 3V3N H4T3 H3R TH4T MUCH 4NYMOR3
CA: really
GC: Y34H
CA: but
CA: she pulled some ridiculous shit to make your fuckin eyes melt
CA: howw can you not hate her after that
GC: W3LL, 3V3N THOUGH SH3 BL1ND3D M3
GC: SH3 4LSO 3ND3D UP 1N4DV3RT3NTLY DO1NG 4 GOOD TH1NG FOR M3
GC: B3C4US3 TH3 D4Y 1 W3NT BL1ND W4S TH3 F1RST T1M3 1 3V3R SPOK3 TO MY LUSUS
CA: oh really
GC: Y34H
GC: 1T W4S ST1LL 1N 1TS 3GG
GC: BUT 1T COULD SP34K TO M3 T3L3P4TH1C4LLY
GC: 4ND 4FT3R 1 W3NT BL1ND, 1T T4UGHT M3 4 N3W W4Y TO S33
CA: ok so thats wwhere the wwhole smellin colors thing came from
GC: Y3P
GC: HON3STLY, 1M NOT 3V3N M4D 4T VR1SK4 FOR BL1ND1NG M3
GC: V1S1ON 1S OV3RR4T3D, 4NYW4Y
GC: MY W4Y OF S331NG TH1NGS 1S SO MUCH B3TT3R >8]
CA: seariously
GC: Y3S S3R1OUSLY!
CA: wwell
CA: ok if you insist
GC: WH4T??
CA: wwell i mean
CA: its just kinda wweird that youre completely ok wwith bein blind
GC: WH4TS W31RD 4BOUT 1T?
GC: 1V3 GOTT3N 4LONG JUST F1N3 W1THOUT B31NG 4BL3 TO S33
CA: yeah but
CA: ok im not suggestin anythin here
CA: but if you had a chance to get your vvision back wwould you take it
GC: HOW?
GC: BY GO1NG GOD T13R?
CA: it doesnt matter howw its just a hypothetical scenario
GC: W3LL
GC: 1 PROB4BLY WOULDNT
CA: wwhat
CA: wwhy not
GC: B3C4US3
GC: 3V3N THOUGH B31NG 4BL3 TO S33 WOULD B3 N1C3
GC: MY W4Y OF S3NS1NG TH1NGS 1S MOR3 1MPORT4NT TO M3
GC: 1T W4S 4 SP3C14L G1FT FROM MY LUSUS
GC: 4ND 1M 4FR41D 1F 1 COULD S33 4G41N, 1D LOS3 1T FOR3V3R
CA: wwell
CA: wwhat if you could see
CA: but you could keep your wweird olfactory vvision too
GC: HM
GC: 1 DONT KNOW
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU 3V3N 4SK1NG?
CA: i dont knoww im just curious
GC: DO YOU TH1NK TH3YR3 W31RD?
CA: wwhat
GC: MY 3Y3S
GC: 1 M34N
GC: 1 KNOW TH3YR3 4LL SC4RR3D 4ND R3D 4ND GROSS
GC: SO 1D TOT4LLY UND3RST4ND 1F YOU THOUGHT TH3Y W3R3 UGLY OR SOM3TH1NG
GC: JUST B3 HON3ST W1TH M3
CA: ter
CA: id nevver hold anythin against a wwoman for bearin dualscars
GC: >8O
GC: WOW
CA: wwhat
GC: M1ST3R 4MPOR4
GC: YOU JUST FOUND
GC: TH3 B3ST POSS1BL3 4NSW3R TO TH4T QU3ST1ON!
GC: CONGR4TUL4T1ONS <3
CA: oh wwell thank you
GC: MY GOODN3SS
GC: 1 4M SWOON1NG SO H4RD R1GHT NOW, YOU C4NT 3V3N 1M4G1N3
CA: oh gracious howw utterly rude a me
CA: it wwas nevver my intention to givve you the vvapors in the middle of a social function
GC: H3H3H3, 1TS F1N3
GC: 1M SUR3 1 C4N M4N4G3 SOM3HOW
CA: but seariously though i dont think your eyes are wweird or anythin
CA: theyre kinda cool actually
CA: wwell i mean if callin your eyes cool is somethin you find flatterin an not condescendin
GC: 1LL T4K3 1T 4S 4 COMPL1M3NT
GC: 4NYW4Y 1M GL4D YOU L1K3 MY R3DGL4R3 >:]
CA: you mean your dualscar
GC: TH3YR3 MY 3Y3S, 1LL C4LL TH3M WH4T 1 W4NT!!!
CA: yeah ok fair point
CA: but really though are you ok wwith me an vvris bein friends
GC: 1 DONT C4R3 WHO YOUR FR13NDS 4R3, 3R1D4N
GC: 4ND 4NYW4Y, 1M NOT 3V3N 4LL TH4T 4NGRY 4T H3R 4NYMOR3
GC: HON3STLY, TH3 ONLY R34SON 1 W4S M4D 4T H3R W4S B3C4US3 OF 3V3RYON3 3LS3 SH3 HURT
GC: BUT T4VROS S33MS TO H4V3 FORG1V3N H3R
GC: 4ND 4R4D14S 0K W1TH H3R, B1G SURPR1S3
GC: 4ND SOLLUX
GC: W3LL
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T H1S D34L 1S 4NYMOR3
CA: huh
CA: wwell she doesnt really harbor any ill wwill for you or any a the rest either
CA: cept sol obvviously
CA: an i mean she and i collectivvely havve got a lot of irons in the fire so to speak
CA: but theyre all focused on relativvely benevvolent things
GC: L1K3 WH4T?
CA: like uh
CA: romance
GC: OH J3GUS
GC: YOU TWO 4R3 SH1PP1NG TOG3TH3R???
CA: wwell ok yeah but its not like neps doin
CA: wwere focused on a different set a quadrants entirely
GC: OH MY GOD
GC: TH4T 1S SO H1L4R1OUSLY L4M3
CA: hey shut up
CA: this isnt some wwiggler levvel fairy tale romance horseshit wwere talkin about here
CA: wwere tryin to soww the seeds a hatred throughout the entire team
CA: howw is that not incredibly badass
GC: B3C4US3 1TS JUST
GC: 1NCR3D1BLY L4M3
CA: yeah yeah wwhatevver
CA: but youll be singin a different tune once wwevve shipped you
GC: Y3S 1 W1LL
GC: 1T W1LL B3 4 STUP1D 1D1OT TUN3 FOR STUP1D 1D1OTS
GC: >8P
CA: bah
CA: youre just jealous cause ivve already got a target for my black quadrant in my sights
GC: H3H3H3 OF COURS3 TH4TS 1T
GC: 1M SO J34LOUS OF YOUR S1LLY L1TTL3 BL4CKCRUSH
CA: hey howw do you knoww its silly you dont evven knoww wwho it is
GC: Y3S 1 DO
CA: ok fine then wwho is it
GC: WHO DO YOU TH1NK
GC: M1ST3R 4MPURR4
CA: hahaha ok you got me
GC: H3H3H3H3
GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY THOUGH
GC: N3P3T4??
CA: i knoww its wweird but im searious
CA: like youvve seen the wway shes blackflirtin wwith me on all these memos havvent you
GC: W3LL Y34H
GC: YOU KNOW, 1TS K1ND OF FUNNY
GC: SH3 DO3SNT 3V3N R34L1Z3 SH3S FL1RT1NG W1TH YOU
CA: i knoww right
CA: its like the girls nevver had black feelins for anybody in her pointless stupid life before
GC: SH3 H4SNT
CA: seariously
GC: Y3P
GC: 1N F4CT, SH3S CONV1NC3D SH3 DO3SNT C4R3 4BOUT BL4CKROM 4T 4LL
CA: wwhat
CA: are you fuckin kiddin me
GC: 1M S3R1OUS!
GC: SH3 TH1NKS TH3 WHOL3 QU4DR4NT 1S STUP1D
CA: oh god
CA: this is gonna take more wwork than i thought
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU 3V3N BL4CK FOR H3R 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3?
GC: 1 M34N, SH3S OBV1OUSLY R3C1PROC4T1NG
GC: BUT WH3R3 TH3 H3LL D1D 1T 3V3N COM3 FROM?
CA: you really wwanna knoww
GC: OF COURS3 1 DO!
CA: ok wwell
CA: just read this
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] sent gallowsCalibrator [GC] the file ihavvethewweirdestbulge.txt" --
GC: N1C3 F1L3N4M3 >8P
CA: wwhatevver just read it
GC: OK4Y
GC: >8O
GC: 3R1D4N
GC: WH4T TH3 FUCK
GC: WH4T D1D YOU DO TO H3R?????
CA: i dont knoww
CA: i wwas just wwhinin about fef and apparently she got so completely sick a my shit that she just totally fuckin lost it
GC: TH1S 1S
GC: SH3S
GC: SH3 N3V3R G3TS TH1S 4NGRY 4BOUT 4NYTH1NG
GC: 4ND SH3 N3V3R CURS3S TH1S MUCH
GC: 1 M34N
GC: SH3 C4LL3D YOU 4 STUP1D P13C3 OF SH1T!
CA: i knoww right
GC: 3R1D4N
GC: YOU H4V3 TO M4K3 TH1S G1RL YOUR K1SM3S1S
GC: D3ST1NY H4S FOR3TOLD 1T
CA: course it fuckin has
CA: i mean howw am i supposed to look at a tirade like that and come to any other fuckin conclusion
GC: 1TS PR3TTY BL4T4NT
GC: JUST
GC: DO WH4T3V3R YOU H4V3 TO DO
CA: honestly i think makin her my kismesis wwill be the easy part
CA: the hardest partll be convvincin her the quadrants wworth her time at all
GC: Y34H
GC: GOOD LUCK W1TH TH4T
CA: yeah thanks
GC: H3Y, SP34K1NG OF N3P3T4
GC: K4N4Y4S WH1PP1NG UP SOM3 K1ND OF OUTF1T FOR H3R R1GHT NOW
CA: oh yeah
CA: wwhats it like
GC: 1TS K1ND OF W31RD, 4CTU4LLY
GC: SH3S GOT TH1S OL1V3 J4CK3T
GC: BUT 1T CUTS OFF R1GHT 4T H3R STOM4CH
GC: 4ND SO DO3S H3R SH1RT, 4CTU4LLY
CA: oh yeah thats good
CA: shes got a nice midriff may as wwell flaunt it
GC: 4ND TH3N SH3S W34R1NG TH3S3 R34LLY T1GHT BLU3 P4NTS
GC: J3GUS, H3R BUTT 1S JUST H4NG1NG OUT TH3R3 FOR 3V3RYON3 TO S33
CA: oh fuck yes
CA: im sorry ter but ivve gotta demand pictures a this
GC: OK4Y, F41R 3NOUGH
GC: H3R3 YOU GO
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] sent caligulasAquarium [CA] the file "TH3HUNTR3SSH31N13.jpg" --
CA: really ter
CA: heinie
GC: SHUT UP, 1TS 4LL1T3R4T1V3!!!
CA: you are so ridiculous
GC: YOU 4R3
CA: yeah ok i am
GC: W3LL TH3N W3R3 1N 4GR33M3NT
CA: only if wwhat wwere in agreement on is that your ashen pal has a truly superb pair a buttocks
GC: OH NO
GC: PL34S3 NOT MOR3 BUTTCH4T
CA: ok fine ill spare you a trip to the rumpusblock
CA: emphasis on rump
GC: H3H3H3H3H3
GC: TH4NK YOU, YOUR3 TOO K1ND
GC: 4NYW4Y, 1F YOUR3 GO1NG TO M4K3 4 MOV3 ON N3P3T4, YOU SHOULD DO 1T SOON
GC: SH3S B31NG 4LL MOP3Y 4ND M1S3R4BL3 H3RS3LF
GC: 4ND 1 TH1NK 4 L1TTL3 C4L1G1NOUS ROMP 1S 3X4CTLY WH4T SH3 N33DS
CA: haha alright ill take that into consideration
CA: i appreciate havvin your blessins on the matter
GC: OF COURS3!
GC: B3S1D3S, YOU TWO B31NG K1SM3S3S W1LL G1V3 K4N4Y4 MOR3 TH1NGS TO M3DDL3 W1TH US 4BOUT
CA: ha yeah i didnt think a that
GC: OH, SP34K OF TH3 4NG3L
GC: LOOKS L1K3 1TS MY TURN TO G3T F4SH1ON POL1C3D
CA: oh ok wwell ill leavve you to that
CA: but hey good luck wwith all your quadrant shit
GC: TH4NKS
GC: 4ND GOOD LUCK W1TH N3P3T4
CA: yeah thanks
CA: ill havve to formulate a foolproof strategy to deal wwith her
GC: OF COURS3
GC: W3LL, 1F YOU N33D 4NY H3LP W1TH TH4T, 1D LOV3 TO CONTR1BUT3
GC: 4FT3R 1 G3T DON3 W1TH TH1S, OF COURS3
CA: yeah thatd be great actually
CA: but you should probably go noww
GC: Y34H 1 SHOULD
GC: K4N4Y4S G1V1NG M3 QU1T3 4 D1RTY LOOK R1GHT NOW
CA: haha ok
CA: wwell sea you around
GC: M4YB3 YOU W1LL
GC: BUT 1 WONT
GC: B3C4US3 1M BL1ND, YOU MORON
CA: fuuuuuck you totally got me
CA: <3
GC: H3H3H3H3, <3
GC: BY3 3R1D4N
CA: bye ter

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA].

***

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC].

CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Are you there
CT: D --> There are matters I wished to di%uss with you
CT: D --> Oh shoot
CT: D --> It udderly slipped my mind that you were in the middle of a conciliation with the jadeb100d
CT: D --> Please forgive my interje%ion
CT: D --> But if you could
CT: D --> Would you please conta% me after its conc100sion
CT: D --> Many than%

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC].

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT].

AC: :33 < equius!
AC: :33 < are you still there?
CT: D --> Ah, Nepeta
CT: D --> Has the jadeb100d conc100ded her mediation
AC: :33 < well, no
AC: :33 < but shes in the middle of something with terezi
CT: D --> What
CT: D --> If you don't mind my a%ing
AC: :33 < shes making some clothes fur her
CT: D --> Oh
AC: :33 < she just finished making some fur me, actually!
AC: :33 < theyre really purretty
CT: D --> Really
AC: :33 < yes!
AC: :33 < though its kind of weird
AC: :33 < the jacket is really short
AC: :33 < so now my butt is just hanging out fur efurrypawdy to s33
CT: D --> Nepeta, language
AC: :33 < what???
AC: :33 < butt is not a bad word!!!
CT: D --> Yes it is
AC: :33 < no it isnt!!
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> It kind of is
AC: :33 < it isnt even a little!
CT: D --> Ok, fine, it isn't
AC: :33 < yeah, s33?
CT: D --> Anyway
CT: D --> That sounds like a very
CT: D --> Strange way of auspisticizing
AC: :33 < well, it kind of is
AC: :33 < but kanaya knows what shes doing, i guess
CT: D --> I should think so
CT: D --> She is by far the most e%perienced auspistice out of all of us
AC: :33 < yeah, i guess so
AC: :33 < so what did you want to talk about?
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> On the previous memo
CT: D --> You 100ked to be in a dour mood
AC: :33 < kind of, yeah
CT: D --> So
CT: D --> What cause do you have for being in low spirits
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < its nothing, really
CT: D --> I must di%ord
CT: D --> You are in most situations e%cessively jocose
CT: D --> If something caused you to be deje%ed, it is most certainly not nothing
CT: D --> Please forgive the double negative
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < befur that memo
AC: :33 < karkat talked to me
AC: :33 < and he
AC: :33 < yelled at me
CT: D --> What
CT: D --> Why
AC: :33 < beclaws he was flushed fur terezi
AC: :33 < and he was mad that i made her and eridan matespurrits
CT: D --> That
CT: D --> That ingrate
CT: D --> It is
CT: D --> Udderly f001ish that he should yell at you for this
AC: :33 < no, it makes sense
CT: D --> Perhaps I should
CT: D --> Di%uss this with Vantas
CT: D --> Teach him a lesson in respe%ing others
AC: :33 < please dont!
CT: D --> What
CT: D --> Why not
AC: :33 < beclaws
AC: :33 < hes my furiend!
AC: :33 < and i dont want him to get hurt
CT: D --> If he did not want to be hurt
CT: D --> He shouldn't have shouted at you
AC: :33 < equius, please
AC: :33 < just dont hurt him
AC: :33 < hes hurting enough already
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> If you insist
AC: :33 < im not mad at him or anything
AC: :33 < im just a little depurressed
CT: D --> Why
CT: D --> Why have that imbecile's words moved you so
AC: :33 < well, its just
AC: :33 < befur this, efurrything s33med to be going so well
AC: :33 < but now somepawdys b33n hurt
AC: :33 < and its all my fault
AC: :33 < :((
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> You mustn't blame yourself for this
AC: :33 < yes i must!
AC: :33 < its my fault karkat got hurt
AC: :33 < if i nefur shipped those two, he couldve b33n with her
AC: :33 < he couldve b33n happy
CT: D --> He can be happy with someone else
AC: :33 < but thats the thing
AC: :33 < i dont know if he can
CT: D --> I'm abso100tely positive that he can
AC: :33 < really?
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> 100% certain
AC: :33 < well, maybe
AC: :33 < but
AC: :33 < am i even doing the right thing, equius?
CT: D --> What do you mean
AC: :33 < i mean this whole shipping thing!
AC: :33 < meddling with efurrypawdy elses love lives!
AC: :33 < it just doesnt f33l right
AC: :33 < not anymore
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> You mustn't lose heart
CT: D --> I'm abso100tely certain what you're doing is right
AC: :33 < how do you know?
CT: D --> You need only 100k to those you've already helped
CT: D --> Kanaya has e%pressed her gratitude to me in private
CT: D --> You've tr001y made her e%tremely happy
CT: D --> And I'm sure the others would e%press similar sentiments
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < i guess
CT: D --> And
CT: D --> Though I am loathe to admit it
CT: D --> The highb100d had a point
CT: D --> Your shipping has a%ually contributed greatly to our progress in the game
CT: D --> Our leader's criticisms were und001y harsh
AC: :33 < hm
AC: :33 < maybe youre right
AC: :33 < but still
AC: :33 < i just kind of f33l like
AC: :33 < taking a break, you know?
CT: D --> I suppose if you feel you must
CT: D --> But you shouldn't be di%ouraged
CT: D --> What you are doing is abso100tely a good thing
AC: :33 < thanks equius
AC: :33 < so what have you b33n up to?
CT: D --> Not a great deal
CT: D --> Though it might please you to hear
CT: D --> My romantic entanglement with Aradia has reached its conc100sion
AC: :33 < what??
AC: :33 < why would that please me to hear???
AC: :33 < thats terrible!!!
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> I thought you disapproved of our relationship
AC: :33 < well, yeah, i did
AC: :33 < but still!
AC: :33 < you didnt end it beclaws of me, did you?
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> Kind of
AC: :33 < ugh, s33, this is what im talking about!
AC: :33 < im meddling in efurrypawdy elses lives
AC: :33 < and even though im trying to hook efurryone up
AC: :33 < i didnt want to have to tear them apurrt to do it!
AC: :33 < ugh, i f33l so terrible
CT: D --> Nepeta, please
CT: D --> Allow me to e100cidate
AC: :33 < e100cidate what?
CT: D --> Despite your assertions
CT: D --> You did not "tear us apart," or any such nonsensical musclebeast e%crement as that
CT: D --> You merely e%posed an e%isting flaw in a failing relationship
AC: :33 < really?
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> 100king back
CT: D --> Aradia was never tr001y happy with me
CT: D --> And I realized
CT: D --> I was never really happy with her, either
CT: D --> Ending our relationship was for the best
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < maybe
AC: :33 < but still, who does that leave you with?
AC: :33 < ugh, you cant even hook up with gamz33, beclaws i already got to him :((
CT: D --> It's fine
CT: D --> I never tr001y liked anything about the highb100d
CT: D --> E%cept for his b100d, of course
AC: :33 < yeah, thats what i thought
CT: D --> If he tr001y thin% he can be happy with that degenerate mudb100ded upstart, then so be it
CT: D --> I wish him the abso100t best
CT: D --> (That was supposed to be mildly sarcastic, by the way)
AC: :33 < um, okay
CT: D --> It may comfort you to know
CT: D --> That I am effe%ively committed to a course of a%ion with regards to my flushed quadrant
AC: :33 < really?
AC: :33 < with who?
CT: D --> Er
CT: D --> One of your previous suggestions, a%ually
CT: D --> The heiress, specifically
AC: :33 < oh!
AC: :33 < youre really interested in fefurry??
CT: D --> Kind of
CT: D --> She 100% to be a noble, considerate person
CT: D --> If a little, uh
CT: D --> Enthusiastic
AC: :33 < h33 h33!
AC: :33 < i think that might be understating it a little!
CT: D --> Perhaps
AC: :33 < but wait
AC: :33 < she still has her whole thing with sollux
CT: D --> Oh, right
CT: D --> It perple%es me why she lavishes such e%travagant attention on the mustardb100d
CT: D --> And why the f001 apparently hasn't reciprocated her advances
AC: :33 < i dont really know what their deal is!
AC: :33 < they could be matespurrits
AC: :33 < or they could be meowrails
CT: D --> Hrm
CT: D --> If they became matesprits
CT: D --> I suppose that would make things e%tremely difficult for me
AC: :33 < ugh, yeah
AC: :33 < you wouldnt really have anypawdy left
AC: :33 < except aradia, i guess
AC: :33 < could you still be matespurrits with her, maybe?
CT: D --> It's a distin% possibility
CT: D --> We ended our relationship amicably
CT: D --> And though it was tumultuous, I don't believe she hates me
AC: :33 < oh
AC: :33 < well thats good
CT: D --> Still
CT: D --> I'd hate to think I was
CT: D --> Forcing her to become my matesprit
CT: D --> Which I realize is 100dicrously hypocritical of me, given my a%ions in the past
AC: :33 < no, i understand
CT: D --> Hm
CT: D --> Perhaps this is none of my business
CT: D --> But do you think she has any other options
AC: :33 < aradia?
CT: D --> Yes
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < she might have something with sollux
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Really
AC: :33 < well, im not sure
AC: :33 < but befur she died
AC: :33 < they kind of had a thing
CT: D --> A thing
AC: :33 < well, i dont know
AC: :33 < it mightve b33n pale, it mightve b33n flushed
AC: :33 < they nefur really made it official
CT: D --> My goodness
AC: :33 < what?
CT: D --> I'm suddenly e%periencing deja vu
AC: :33 < h33 h33, i guess so!
AC: :33 < sollux is so stupid
CT: D --> Obviously
CT: D --> It's like he's e%plicitly ignoring the constant stream of beautiful women that reg001arly throw themselves at him
CT: D --> Is he blind and deaf
CT: D --> Or simply dumb
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!! X33
AC: :33 < i dont know what his deal is
CT: D --> A raw deal, clearly
AC: :33 < jegus, equius
AC: :33 < hes really getting you steamed!
CT: D --> Er
CT: D --> I don't hate him or anything
CT: D --> I'm simply
CT: D --> Jealous, I suppose
AC: :33 < yeah, i guess that makes sense
AC: :33 < but hed purrobably think youre crazy if you told him that!
CT: D --> Why
AC: :33 < hes always all mopey and miserable
AC: :33 < and he thinks his life is soooo terrrrrible
CT: D --> Hmph
CT: D --> If his life is the hell he contends it to be
CT: D --> Then it is a hell of his own making
AC: :33 < well, i dont know
AC: :33 < he has gone through a lot
AC: :33 < i think aradia dying really messed him up
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> Perhaps she is dead
CT: D --> But she isn't gone
AC: :33 < thats true!
CT: D --> Do you think
CT: D --> He still loves her
AC: :33 < i dont know!
AC: :33 < his shipping sw33p hasnt come up yet
AC: :33 < i guess ill have to ask him
CT: D --> So
CT: D --> You do intend to continue shipping
AC: :33 < well, eventually
AC: :33 < not right away
CT: D --> Ok
AC: :33 < but thats good that youre interested in fefurry!
AC: :33 < that could really work out
AC: :33 < you hook up with her and sollux hooks up with aradia
AC: :33 < or he could become matespurrits with fefurry, and then you could with aradia
AC: :33 < or
AC: :33 < i guess you and sollux could be matespurrits, and then so could aradia and fefurry?
CT: D --> Er
AC: :33 < youre not flushed fur sollux, are you?
CT: D --> Abso100tely not
AC: :33 < yeah, i figured
AC: :33 < but still, its one of the thr33 pawssibilities
CT: D --> Uh
CT: D --> Just three
AC: :33 < yeah, its just those thr33
AC: :33 < right?
CT: D --> A%ually
CT: D --> I can't help but notice you've e%c100ded yourself
CT: D --> As well as our leader
AC: :33 < oh
AC: :33 < oh!
AC: :33 < i guess i did!
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Did you intend to enter a matespritship with Vantas
AC: :33 < no!!!
AC: :33 < i mean
AC: :33 < i dont know really!
AC: :33 < i just
AC: :33 < i wasnt even thinking about him
AC: :33 < or myself, fur that matter!
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> I guess that makes sense
CT: D --> But still, all these possibilities simply assume you'd end up with him
AC: :33 < er
AC: :33 < yeah, i guess
CT: D --> Is that
CT: D --> Something you'd be ok with
AC: :33 < i dont know, i guess!
CT: D --> Seriously
CT: D --> Even after he f001ishly attacked you for the services you've performed for our team
AC: :33 < hes not that bad!!
AC: :33 < he was just angry beclaws of terezi and eridan!
AC: :33 < honestly hes not a bad guy
AC: :33 < he just gets mad sometimes
AC: :33 < and really, who wouldnt??
CT: D --> Um
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Are you
CT: D --> Flushed for him
AC: :33 < no!!!
AC: :33 < well, maybe
AC: :33 < i dont really know
CT: D --> Nepeta, I'm your moirail
CT: D --> You can tell me abso100tely anything
AC: :33 < i know that
AC: :33 < but
AC: :33 < i cant really say if im flushed fur him or not
AC: :33 < not yet
CT: D --> Why not
AC: :33 < its just
AC: :33 < its not the right time
AC: :33 < !!!!!
CT: D --> What
AC: :33 < er
AC: :33 < do you not s33 that?
CT: D --> See what
AC: :33 < the underlined text up there!
CT: D --> I see no underlined te%t
AC: :33 < oh
AC: :33 < some kind of glitch with my purrogram, i guess!
CT: D --> Hm
CT: D --> That's strange
CT: D --> But anyway
CT: D --> It was not my intent to gr001ingly e%tract a confession from you with regard to your feelings
CT: D --> If you can't reach a conc100sion, that is perfe%ly a%eptable
AC: :33 < okay
AC: :33 < sorry equius
CT: D --> It's quite alright
AC: :33 < but anyway, enough about me
AC: :33 < lets talk about you and fefurry!
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Ok
AC: :33 < have you efur talked to her or anything?
CT: D --> Well
CT: D --> Not really
CT: D --> We've had brief e%changes on the team memos
CT: D --> But never any tr001y meaningful intera%ion
AC: :33 < well, maybe you should change that!
CT: D --> How
AC: :33 < by talking to her, dummy!
CT: D --> Yes, but
CT: D --> I can't simply conta% her out of the b100, can I
AC: :33 < well, no
AC: :33 < but maybe try it in a memo or something?
CT: D --> Perhaps
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> Do you think the mustardb100d would find it objec%ionable
AC: :33 < oh, who cares about him!
AC: :33 < if he wont make fefurry his matespurrit, then its his loss!
CT: D --> Uh
AC: :33 < i mean, if thats how he f33ls about her
CT: D --> But do you think I might be
CT: D --> Interfering in their relationship somehow
CT: D --> I don't think the heiress would like that
AC: :33 < youre not interfurring in anything!
AC: :33 < if sollux really wants to be her matespurrit, the worst youll do is push him into making it official!
AC: :33 < and if he doesnt, then it doesnt matter!
AC: :33 < its a win win!
CT: D --> Hm
CT: D --> I suppose so
CT: D --> But anyway
CT: D --> How do you think I should, uh
CT: D --> Speak to her
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < dont be all weird and sycophantic, fur one!
CT: D --> What
AC: :33 < you know, about her blood!
CT: D --> Hrk
CT: D --> Of course, that's corre%
CT: D --> Even though she has such
CT: D --> Remarkably beautiful tyrian b100d
CT: D --> She udderly despises the Hemospe%rum
AC: :33 < i hate to ask, but
AC: :33 < youre not just interested in her beclaws of her blood, are you?
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> I will admit that's part of it
CT: D --> But even without regard to her
CT: D --> Strikingly brilliant imperial b100d
CT: D --> I find her to be an attra%ive person in general
AC: :33 < really?
AC: :33 < even though you hate seadwellers?
CT: D --> I have effe%ively dealt with my prejudice with regard to the heiress specifically
CT: D --> While landdwellers do in fa% have an ancient codified feud with those living in the ocean's depths
CT: D --> I believe she is an e%ception
CT: D --> After all, on the land or in the sea
CT: D --> We all genufle% before the incalc001able might of Her Imperious Condescension equally, do we not
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < yeah, i guess
CT: D --> And as the heiress apparent to the Imperial throne, surely she should be afforded the same respe%
AC: :33 < i guess that makes sense
AC: :33 < but still, its kind of weird
CT: D --> How is it weird
AC: :33 < well, its good that you dont hate her fur being a seadweller
AC: :33 < but youre still treating her diffurently beclaws of her blood!
AC: :33 < and shed purrobably really hate that!
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Then, uh
CT: D --> How should I treat her
AC: :33 < i dont know, maybe as an equal???
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> I'm not, am I
AC: :33 < she purrobably thinks you are!
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> I guess she would, wouldn't she
CT: D --> She's just
CT: D --> Considerate like that
AC: :33 < exactly!
CT: D --> Hrm
CT: D --> But still
CT: D --> I'm a little perple%ed at how to proceed in engaging her in a dialogue
AC: :33 < well, maybe you should just try
AC: :33 < flirting with her
CT: D --> Er
CT: D --> Flirting
AC: :33 < yes!
CT: D --> I've, uh
CT: D --> Never really flirted with anyone before
CT: D --> How e%actly would I go about doing that
AC: :33 < well, you just
AC: :33 < i dont know, its hard to explain!
AC: :33 < you just kind of have to
AC: :33 < make little suggestive jokes to her
CT: D --> Uh
CT: D --> Suggestive
AC: :33 < well, you know
AC: :33 < just kind of twist your words so they s33m like something naughty
AC: :33 < like if she says, "i wont hold it against you"
AC: :33 < you say, "do you want to hold it against me?"
CT: D --> Urk
CT: D --> That 100% to be
CT: D --> Somewhat indecent
AC: :33 < its all in good fun!
CT: D --> Are you sure
CT: D --> How do I know she won't simply find it
CT: D --> E%asperating
AC: :33 < well, if shes interested, shell flirt with you back!
AC: :33 < so maybe youd say what you said up there
AC: :33 < and shed say, "ooh, maybe i do, mister zahhak!"
CT: D --> Uh
AC: :33 < and if shes not interested, shell just blow you off
AC: :33 < so just k33p going until she does that!
CT: D --> Ok
CT: D --> That 100% to be reasonable enough
CT: D --> I need to make
CT: D --> Jokes
AC: :33 < yes!
AC: :33 < you know how to tell jokes, right?
CT: D --> Kind of
CT: D --> A%ually, Kanaya recently complimented me on my sense of humor
CT: D --> Though my main form of humor consists of 100sing an unr001y herd of spirited hoofbeast puns
CT: D --> Do you think that would work
AC: :33 < actually, that would work purrfectly!!
AC: :33 < fefurry really loves puns!
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Does she
AC: :33 < well, she likes fish puns specifically
AC: :33 < and ocean puns in general, i guess
AC: :33 < but shed purrobably enjoy a few hoofbeast puns, too!
CT: D --> Hmmm
CT: D --> I suppose could pra%ice a few nautical puns myself
CT: D --> A%ually, wait, I mean
CT: D --> Myshellf
AC: :33 < h33 h33, yeah, thats it!
CT: D --> But I suppose
CT: D --> If foal else fails
CT: D --> I'm gelding the idea
CT: D --> That I could canter her nautical puns
CT: D --> By trotting out a few hoofbeast puns of mane own
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!!! X33
AC: :33 < thats great!
CT: D --> Ok
CT: D --> I believe I know how to proceed
CT: D --> So I should simply
CT: D --> Talk to her
CT: D --> On a public memo
AC: :33 < yeah!
AC: :33 < but you dont have to do it right away
AC: :33 < just wait fur the purrfect oppurrtunity to purrsent itself
AC: :33 < and once it does
AC: :33 < you strike!!!
CT: D --> That makes sense, I suppose
CT: D --> But when do you believe such an opportunity will arise
AC: :33 < i dont know
AC: :33 < i guess i wont be making a shipping update anytime soon ://
CT: D --> Hmmm
AC: :33 < but im sure youll get a chance soon!
CT: D --> I should certainly hope so
CT: D --> Anyway
CT: D --> Are you feeling better, Nepeta
AC: :33 < yeah, i guess
AC: :33 < thanks equius
CT: D --> It's tr001y my pleasure
CT: D --> Anyway, don't be di%ouraged by the imbecile Vantas' words
CT: D --> He's simply being e%tremely f001ish
AC: :33 < well
AC: :33 < i dont think hes being foolish
AC: :33 < but maybe he didnt mean efurrything he said
CT: D --> I'm abso100tely certain he didn't
CT: D --> And though you may feel the need to take a break
CT: D --> I tr001y believe you should continue shipping
AC: :33 < yeah, maybe
CT: D --> But I suppose I've taken enough of your time
CT: D --> Kanaya must be finished with her a%ivities with the tealb100d by now
AC: :33 < yeah, shes just finishing up right now
AC: :33 < she made some kind of suit fur her or something
AC: :33 < its really nice
AC: :33 < wow, terezi looks really purretty in it
CT: D --> Does she
AC: :33 < yes she does!
AC: :33 < it makes her look all elegant and refined
AC: :33 < but still kinda scary
AC: :33 < and it really shows off her butt, too X33
CT: D --> Nepeta, please
AC: :33 < what??
AC: :33 < we already established butt isnt a bad word!
CT: D --> Yes, but still
CT: D --> This is abso100tely inappropriate
AC: :33 < well, im sorry, but terezi has a really nice butt!!!
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> Stop this
CT: D --> You will cease di%ussing your auspisticed partner's rear end immediately
CT: D --> Have I made myself perfe%ly clear
AC: :33 < okay, fine!
AC: :33 < but i should warn you
AC: :33 < you can make me stop talking about it
AC: :33 < but you cant make me stop thinking it!
CT: D --> Fine
CT: D --> Anyway
CT: D --> I suppose I should leave you be
AC: :33 < yeah, purrobably
AC: :33 < but thanks fur talking to me, equius
AC: :33 < i really do f33l better now
CT: D --> Of course
CT: D --> What are moirails for
CT: D --> <>
AC: :33 < <>
AC: :33 < anyway, good luck with fefurry!
CT: D --> Yes, thank you
CT: D --> But now I must depart
CT: D --> Goodbye, Nepeta
AC: :33 < bye equius!

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC].