It took Dave awhile to realize he and John had stopped plotting what they'd do if he visited. It'd been something that crept into late night conversations, shuffled itself between lines of John's awe-inspiring word-vomit about whatever the hell had given him a nerd boner that day and Dave's sweet spiels about the sicknasty beats he'd been laying down lately.
They made lists of what movies they'd watch. Or really, what movies John would watch. Alone, Dave assured him. Because that dumb shit was all kinds of contagious and he didn't need it rubbing off on him. John's extraordinary levels of dork were already bad enough, and repeated exposure over the years had brought Dave to almost, very nearly, agree to watch some of those stupid movies with him.
He guessed it wouldn't be too bad. Watching terrible movies on purpose was pretty high up the ironic echeladder, and if it made John happy in the process it'd be like killing two birds with one dope stone. Caw caw, motherfuckers.
It had been during one of these rounds of cinema discussion that Dave had first noticed the change.
EB: okay how about crossroads, have you ever seen that?
TG: no but my shit detector isnt going off yet so you should probably tell me about it
EB: alright, so it has got some pretty good actors.
TG: uh oh man im picking up some early readings on this baby
EB: hear me out okay?
TG: hey man i never said stop
EB: dan aykroyd is in it.
TG: okay so this might not be the worst movie ever then
EB: and so is kim cattrall.
TG: whoa hold up theres been a sudden spike in the detector it went off the charts for a sec
TG: thats one of those broads from sex in the city isnt it?
EB: she's a good actor! plus she's a mature and beautiful woman.
TG: should i be steeling myself
TG: i feel theres a final devastating blow coming my way
TG: youre trying to hide it with all these other names
TG: a seven layer bean dip of actors
TG: and were about to get to those shitty D-list olives
EB: it is a britney spears movie.
TG: you broke the detector
TG: if only written word could wholly encapsulate the smell of burnt flesh and pain of the plastic fragments now lodged in my skin from the explosion
EB: i'll buy you a new one, don't worry.
TG: this is the fifth one youve ruined
TG: they better have some kind of buy five get one free
TG: hit up costco see if you can snag some in bulk
EB: you would like the movie if you gave it a shot!
EB: look, i know britney spears does not sound all that appealing, but this is really her coming of age debut.
TG: dude i thought you would grow out of this but
TG: youve made your bed
TG: a bed out of terrible movies that smells like bad box office turnout and straight to dvd releases
TG: and you are diggin that shit
TG: youre in that bed all hibernating like sleeping beauty
TG: waiting for your one true nic cage to awaken you with a kiss
EB: okay fine we don't have to watch crossroads!
EB: i get it, i get it, you don't want to watch any movies when i visit.
TG: oh dude hold up i never said i didnt want to watch movies
TG: i just dont want to watch terrible movies
EB: they're not that terrible! and even if they are what's the worst that could happen?
EB: you would just like, not laugh or smile or something, which is pretty normal dave behavior anyway i think??
TG: no man it could go a lot deeper than that
TG: the title screen could play and ill see jennifer lopezs face and just go into a blind rage
TG: go apeshit on anything close to me
TG: cool ass dude kills friend over movie details at 11
TG: six months later or whatever its back on the news
TG: cool ass dude enters self defense and insanity plea after being coerced into watching marathon of hugh grant flicks by friend
TG: thered be a huge public outpouring of sympathy and shit and id get off scott free
EB: haha i guess that could happen somehow.
EB: except that i don't like romcoms so hugh grant can kiss my ass?
EB: but fine, because you are a tremendous baby we don't have to watch any of my movies.
EB: you better pick out some good ones for us to watch, though!
TG: dont even worry i will have this shit on lock when you get here
EB: ehehe good, i will leave it to you then.
TG: put your trust in me and you wont regret it
EB: like i could ever regret anything about you!
EB: is it stupid to feel so ridiculously excited about this?
TG: its okay i have that sort of effect on people
EB: anyway i think i hear dad starting his crazy 5 am baking so i am going to head to bed
EB: talk to you tomorrow, dave!
TG: see you on the flipside homeskillet
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 06:57 --
Dave stood with a tired groan, bare feet dragging for the few steps it took to reach his bed. He hit the mattress with a thud, still dressed in day clothes and too worn out to do anything about it. He fished his shades from his face, muscle memory depositing them on the desk that served as his bedside table.
The chirp of birds filtered through his head, threads of early sunlight streaming through the crack between his heavy black blanket nailed haphazardly above the window. He brought his hands up and pressed the heels of his palms against his closed eyes, harder and harder until there was nothing but light, blotchy and white and all consuming.
He didn't think about how late─ or really, how early it was. At least with high school now a thing of the past, he didn't have to worry that Bro would waltz in sooner rather than later to wake him, or flat-out flip his bed over to get him up. And he seriously, in no way ever at all, thought about how his heart had done triple Salchow jump that would get any skater on the podium when John said how excited he was. Those words didn't even mean anything, nothing more than something courtesy obliged John to type.
Not to mention Dave's stupid heart-related figure skating antics were just from stacking Rockstars and Red Bulls to keep him awake and coherent enough to talk to John. That was what friends did, after all. Stayed up stupid-late and fuck the consequences.
He did, however, think about how John and he had stopped talking about what they'd do if he visited.
And how they'd started talking about what they'd do when he visited.