"Doctor," the Master looked up from his computer terminal. "What does 'uke' mean?"
"It's a Japanese martial arts term for the receiver during practice."
"We're definitely not engaged in any martial art that I've ever heard of."
The Doctor sighed. "Fanfiction, again?"
"Yes. It says that you're the perfect uke."
"I am not!"
The Master smirked. "I should review, and tell them how right they are."
"I think I'll dispute that characterization ... right here, right now."
Half an hour later they lay sweaty, exhausted, and rug-burned.
"If you wanted me to top," the Doctor said, "you could have just asked."