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I. Winter
Winter wasn't the time for falling in love. People were supposed to fall in love in the spring amid flowers and new life. Or maybe in the summer, beside a picturesque beach. At least, that's how people did it in Eugenie's romance novels. (Which Albert would never admit to touching, much less reading.)
It didn't feel like winter on Luna, but it was winter all the same when Albert fell in love for the first time. Not that he knew it, of course. He had been so young then, too young to see what was right in front of him. He only knew that the Count affected him like no one else ever had.
When the Count passed him on the landing strip outside the opera house, Albert felt something inside of him begin to move. A whisper deep within saying, "This will change everything."
"Something I can lose myself in. Something that will grab my heart and never let go." That's what he had said he wanted as he ate with the Count and Franz, not knowing that he had just found it.
Even nearly being murdered by bandits couldn't shake the strange new feeling. Through the terror a thought, a blind, strange hope had shone through: the count will come. And he had.
France had a cooler climate than Luna, but that wasn't the only reason that Albert felt so cold upon returning. He counted the days until May 22, awaiting a warmth he didn't fully understand.
II. Spring
It seemed that spring came late that year. It was hard to tell inside the city, where everything was always so lovely. But something about the balmy weather and blooming flowers felt off to Albert.
For Albert, spring truly started on May 22, with the Count's arrival. If you had asked him about it at the time, Albert wouldn't have been able to explain it, but everything seemed just a bit more special, a little more alive. The sun seemed brighter, the grass greener. And still Albert understood nothing. How ridiculous, to be so in love without realizing it.
The only thing that dampened Albert's spirits was that no one else understood how he felt. They were all so determined to be suspicious of the Count. And Franz, who should have been the most supportive, was the worst of them all.
"You don't have to act so jealous," Albert had snapped after another one of Franz's doom laden warnings.
"What?" Franz had looked at him disbelievingly.
"I know we're best friends, but I can spend time with other people too."
Franz shook his head. "You think I'm jealous because you have a new friend?'
"You're certainly acting like it."
Franz looked as if were about to say something, then sighed. "I'll see you later."
"Right, later," Albert replied, his head turned away. He knew that he was was being unkind to Franz, but he couldn't help being annoyed.
Franz stormed out and Albert sat down, at a loss for what to do. He felt like he should apologize, but why? It was Franz who was out of line with all of his needless suspicion. Caught up in his thoughts, Albert jumped slightly when the phone rang.
"Monsieur Albert?" A maid poked her head in. "The Count of Monte Cristo wishes to speak with you."
Albert's worries melted away as he picked up the phone. He could always apologize to Franz later.
III. Summer
Once, summer had meant trips with Franz and Eugenie to the seaside where they would run and laugh, acting like the foolish children they usually pretended not to be. Summer meant carefree days with good friends.
But those days were gone, and Albert was alone. Franz was dead and no matter how hard Albert tried he couldn't reach Eugenie.
Albert wanted them back. He wanted Eugenie to laugh at him and he wanted Franz to smile at him gently and know just how to fix things. But most stupidly of all, Albert wanted to run to the Count. He wanted the Count to smile and reveal that the whole thing had been one long joke. Franz wasn't dead, Albert and Eugenie were still engaged, and he and the Count were friends just like he always thought.
Was this his punishment for being so blind? For not understanding anyone's feelings, least of all his own? If that was the case he'd go straight to the Count and confess everything. He'd tell the Count every awkward, confusing feeling, and he'd manage to find words for the thoughts he still didn't completely understand.
"I love you," he would say. In his fantasies those words fixed everything. Eugenie and Franz came back, his father was an honest man, and his mother had no tragic secrets. Everything went back to how it should be.
Albert didn't want to think that this couldn't be fixed. But each day brought new disaster, and Albert was no longer sure that love was going to be enough.
IV. Autumn
The air was crisp and the leaves were beginning to change when Albert finally worked up the courage to visit the Count. He stood there awkwardly, turned away from his father's gravestone. Maybe it was stupid, but Albert doubted that the Count would appreciate his father being included in the conversation.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to come," he said to the count. "These past few years have been busy. I've had a lot to do." He blushed a little. "At least Mother's been coming to see you. You'd rather see her than me, right?"
Albert sighed. "The truth is I've been afraid to see you. Either of you. I didn't want to get caught up in the past." He was silent for a long moment. "I didn't want to hate anyone," he admitted finally. He was quiet for a little while more, then smiled slightly. "And I don't. I don't hate you. I never really did." He brushed the top of the gravestone with his fingertips. "I never did tell you how I felt, but no doubt you figured it out. You probably knew before I did. Of course, I think everybody knew before I did." Albert laughed shakily.
"I still have to see Franz. Think he'll be annoyed with me for taking so long? Or maybe he expects that of me by now. And then there's Eugenie. The dead have have been hard enough to talk to. I don't know what to say to the living."
Albert paused and reflected that the benefit of talking to a dead person was that there was no pressure to fill the silent places in the conversation. "To tell the truth, I don't have time to see them right now. I know that sounds horrible, but we're close to signing a peace treaty with the Empire. Isn't that great? I'm just a secretarial aid to the ambassador, but it keeps me pretty busy." He reluctantly looked at his watch. "I should get going. I'll see you again and tell you how it went with Franz and Eugenie. I don't know when I'll get to see them, but until I do I'll just... bide my time, and hold out hope." Albert gently placed the flowers he had brought on the ground. He didn't look back as he walked away. After all, he could always come again.