I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately. I wonder why.... Yui says that I show up in hers too, and that they're all memories of a past life we all had.
Anyways, if that's the case, then I was really cool in my past life! I was chosen by a prince to fight evil and protect a girl from her abusers!
(Well, that's what I think happened. The dreams get kind of confusing after a while.)
So, if I was a cool prince in my first life, then I'll be a cool princess in this one. I'll make sure of it!
No matter which world we end up in, I will always be just an ordinary girl, one who desires to be special but will never be chosen....
(I know Haruka's Cure Flora. I also know that I will most likely never be chosen to become a Cure.)
It was the same in the other world too. I was just an ordinary girl, one who was locked out of the loop of duels and brides and strange revolutions.... but who desperately wanted to be chosen.
(They did choose me to fight once, but that was because I was psychologically disturbed and consumed with self-loathing, for why couldn't I have been exceptional instead of her....)
I can't let that desire consume me again. So I write instead, letting the memories flow like blood.
Once upon a time, I played a game of love. And lost.
I'm not exactly sure of the details. I think I loved this girl, who loved someone else, and that man loved me.... or was there another person I loved and forgot? I'm not quite sure....
Either way, I was love's prisoner, chained by my infatuation for someone who'd never love me back, which let me fall into a world of duels and pawns....
(I'm not going to fall this time. That much I'm sure of.
As for if I can love someone this time.... I'm not sure how to answer that.)
If my dreams were ever reality, then I've lived the world's strangest life ever, and was also two different people.
Half the time, I'm a blue-haired guy who's a music prodigy and has a crazy sister. The other half of the time, I'm a white-haired girl in love with her brother.... who ended up turning into a cow. Or something....
(I honestly have no idea what's happening half the time, but at least I'm aware that there's something really weird going on?)
I despise my past life.
Once upon a time back then, I was a perfectly good person. Then I ended up getting executed.... and decided to play a game with people's lives.
(Ohtori constantly yells at me. I suppose he wants to corrupt me, so I can end up playing his role in this universe as well...)
This entire life is my attempt to atone, to make up for the person I was in my past life.... to actually be a good person.
(Ohtori will not corrupt me. No matter what he says, I won't give in.)
No matter how long I live or how many lives I live for, I will always be a pawn. This one's no different.
(Yet.... why do I feel like someone's going to save me?
I was saved in the last life too. It just took her death to free me....)
So I wait, wait for salvation or death, whichever fate'll await me in this life....
(Unfortunately, I can't just walk out the door this time. There isn't one....)