Chapter 1: Friendship...
Damon is human. Never in my strangest dreams I have imagined such a thing. I know he hates it, but he got caught up this time by his curiosity, by his need to know and control everything. It is interesting watching him trying to remember how to breathe. He pretty much got the hang of it. The funny part of this was that he kept forgetting he has to do it constantly.
We couldn't help it. We had to laugh at this situation, even though Stefan is really pissed off at his brother and Damon glared at us with hate. We needed the laugh. Elena looked at the brothers, worried. Our big fight against the Kitsune is coming. And I hated it to admit myself, Damon was the strongest of us and the best fighter. We'd possibly lost our strongest ally.
I can't stop myself from remembering the night of the clearing. It's sad that Kitsune kept taking Damon's memories. I think it must be really hard to lose your memories. The bad memories not so much, but the good ones. I don't know. Memories are what make us remember our mistakes and, if we are intelligent enough, try with all our might not to repeat them.
It sounds kind of complicated, but I guess this doesn't apply to the brothers since they are fighting for Elena. The story is repeating itself; they fought for Katherine. I know Elena loves Stefan. I think he is her soul mate, but sometimes I can't keep my mind from thinking otherwise. I know she loves Damon, too. I don't know why she won't admit it once and for all. Neither Stefan nor Damon deserves to live the Katherine situation again. I know my friend, or at least I think I know her. She will eventually choose one.
Elena's voice snapped me out of my wonderings. "Bonnie I don't think this is the time to give Damon that."
"Yes, I think you are right. I will give it to him later. At some point he'll have to eat."
Mrs. Flower's assigned us where to sleep tonight. We have full house, even Sage was with us. It's kind of comforting to have him here; we still have two vampires in our side. The boarding house has the necessary wards to protect us. So we can have a good night's sleep. I wonder if I will be able to sleep at all.
I'm tired of turning, trying to get some sleep. I can't get sleep, nothing at all, and the worst part is I can feel the beginning of a headache. Since Honoria Fell decided to use me as her ... How I will describe it? Yes, I was like her "speaker" or conduit. My psychic power is more susceptible to see everything as it is. No glamour, no hiding. It's easier for me to trance right now than in the beginning. Pretty much what I saw, I can feel it, too. One of the after-effects is the nightmares and every time something happens, they get worst.
I decided to go and get a glass of water. And pace a little bit more in the living room. At least I won't wake up anyone if I spend some time down on the first floor. I took the glass of water and sat down on the couch. I have to admit; I'm afraid. I'm tired and afraid. Now images of the Dark Dimension appear on my dreams, entwined with the Kitsune and sometimes with Katherine and Klaus. What was I going to do? Maybe I should talk to Mrs. Flowers. I think she'll be able to help me get some good rest.
I was lost in my thoughts when I heard some ragged breathing. A chill went through my body. I hadn't notice anybody here when I sat down. I'd counted up to ten, trying to calm my breathing and to gather enough courage to ask: "Who's there?"
"Well, what have we got here?"
"Damon, you scared me. Please don't do that." He chuckled a little and he sat down beside me. A strange silence appeared between the two of us. Timidly, I offered him my glass of water. He took it and drank it in one gulp.
"How come you're the only one worried if I eat or drink?"
"I.. I don't know what you mean, Damon. The others are worried for you, too. Not only me." I gave a tired sigh and in a very low tone, I added. "I know Elena is worried, too."
He decided to ignore my comment. "Why you are down here and not sleeping?"
"It is kind of obvious, Damon. I can't sleep. Every time I try, I just have nightmares. It's like a curse. Since the Klaus and Katherine incident, I don't know what it feels like to have a long night of dreamless sleep."
He stared at me and nodded. I think he understood what I'd just told him. I decided to add, "Let me correct myself: I did rest some at the Dark Dimension. When I had to give Elena my blood, I was physically so tired that I'd just shut down. Meredith told me Sage was the one that noticed what happened to me. I guess I fainted again in Elena's room."
"You are telling me Sage took care of you?" he asked me with anger reflected in his voice. I looked at him, disconcerted, and answered him. "Well, that is what she told me. Meredith gave her blood to you and I gave mine to Elena. Maybe I gave her too much."
"But why Sage?"
"Damon, you were out of it. Stefan was in jail. Who could carry me to my room? I only know what they told me. Besides, that was the last time I slept without problems."
"Do you recuperate rather quickly? I can remember well you hovering in Elena's room."
"MMM, I know, Meredith knows something, but she won't tell me. I think she wants to protect me. Of what, I don't have a clue. Sometimes I feel like everybody treats me like a little girl. Like I can't handle myself."
"You look like it. You sometimes look like a wounded little bird"
"Why you are here? Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I guess I'm sort like you at this moment."
"I don't believe that, Damon. You are the strongest of all us. Even if you're human, I still think you're the strongest."
He made a strange sound and moved a little. Like I'd just punched him. "Damon, I really believe what I just told you."
"Hard to believe you, Bonnie. It is hard to believe you."
I don't know what got into me, but I felt my anger rise. I can say I'm really pissed off at him. I stood up and, with a surprisingly strong tone in my voice, I told him "Don't you dare doubt yourself, Damon. I know those feelings. I live with them every day and it is hell. Don't go there." I lowered my tone and repeated, "Please don't go there."
He looked at me. Then he walked toward me and told me, "I'm worried if I'm going to sleep, I will forget how to breathe."
I blinked twice. It was strange being so near him. He continued talking. "I have a proposition for you. We can stay here in the living room and we watch each other sleep. I think we can help each other"
I didn't say anything; I just nodded. He went upstairs and brought two pillows and two blankets.
I didn't know what my little bird had, but I felt like my strong, old self. I still feel I can protect her when I'm around her. She is the one that believes in me and I don't know why or understand it. She trusts me. Without a good reason she trusts me. Or she really is a fool, or she sees me better than anyone.
We sat down at the couch again and I make her talk about herself. She was a little bit uncomfortable, but I promised her I would tell her some stories of my past. So she relented. She talked and answered my questions. I sensed when she was beginning to get sleepy. I let her rest her head on my shoulder. It felt good to be able to help and protect her. If she began to have nightmares, I would be by her side. I wasn't worried anymore about my breathing during my sleep. She took my nervousness away.
Ironic, she didn't know her true powers. This little psychic was stronger than she believed - stronger than me. She'd just saved me this night. The little bird saves the crow. I chuckle again. It was strange to have someone think of you as a first, not a second or a runner up. I didn't remember much before the Dark Dimension; the kitsune took my memories, but something told me that since the beginning I was curious with her. Why would I have wanted to protect her otherwise? I loved Elena, that much I knew. But my desire to protect Bonnie kept coming. I needed time to sort things out. Time was exactly what neitherl of us had. Time was only time.
She stirred a little and look at me with those dove eyes of her and asked me, "Do you want to be my friend?"
She shocked me with her question. No one had asked me this before. I only know to grab what I wanted anytime I wanted it. My heart was beating quickly. She began to move away from me. Instead of answering her right away, I just grabbed her. When I looked at her face, she had tears in her eyes. I wiped them with my hand and finally answered her. "Bonnie, I'm sorry. You surprised me. It wasn't my intention to let you think I didn't want to be your friend. The thing is, you're the first one to ask me such a thing in practically my whole life."
She nodded at me, understanding what I'd said to her. I accommodated her so she could rest her head on my chest. She obliged at my gesture. I began to stroke her hair softly and answered her earlier question. "Yes, Bonnie I will like to be your friend."
She nodded and hugged me. We stayed like that the rest of the night. We fell assleep hugging each other. I really rested that night. I slept feeling my old self again.
MMM! I feel at peace, no nightmares, no Klaus or Dark Dimension stuff, no Kitsune. A good nothingness. It was blissful to have that kind of rest. The difference was that for the first time in a long time, I felt secure. I looked at Damon. He seemed so peaceful and he looked so handsome. And, last night, he had accepted. He wanted to be my friend. In normal situations like a school day, a guy like him wouldn't have give me a tiny glance. I was invisible to most of the people in Fell's Church.
Only my true friends really knew me. Could it be possible that he, Damon Salvatore could become one of them? I really hope so. Damon stirred, and looked at me. Those midnight eyes are like two big, black, endless pools. They reflected everything so perfectly.
"Morning, Little one."
"Good morning, Damon. You are alive, so I fulfilled my promise. You didn't stop breathing."
"Yes, I guess you did. And you?"
I nodded and smile at him. "No, Damon; I didn't have any nightmares. Thank you."
"Well, you can thank me with something to eat. I'm starving." I couldn't stop myself and laughed. I could get used to this human Damon.
"Okay, I'm not a cook at all, but I know how to make a good sandwich. But I'm an expert in one thing. I can assure, you I brew the best coffee ever. So my friend, go freshen up. I'll do the same and we can make some breakfast together."
He smiled and murmured: "Okay" He began to walk up the stairs and I called him, "Damon!" He turned and looked at me. "Hurry up; we're making breakfast to everybody." Before he could even complain about anything, I made a gesture hurrying him up. When he began to protest, I pushed him a little.
"Hey!, don't do that."
"Do what? I'm starving, too. You are walking like a snail and I need to freshen up. Come on! Move it!"
"Are you always so bossy?"
"Nope, only with you." I passed him, laughing and began to run toward my room.
She certainly was something. It was like my being human gave her confidence to treat me like one. Before she was always scared of me. This felt surprisingly good. I went to my room and cleaned up. I kept thinking about my Little Bird. I couldn't stop calling her that. Maybe I am human, but still I want to protect her.
I beat her to the kitchen. Or I though I'd beat her. Instead of finding Bonnie, the old hag was the one in the kitchen. Mrs. Flowers was already cooking. She looked at me and gestured me to sit down. She never talks too much. So when she asked me how I felt, I was unprepared.
"Um... I don't know. I'm still getting the hang of this."
"Do you sleep well, boy?"
"Yes, I did."
"I'm glad. I will help you guys with the cooking."
"Yes, Bonnie already told me. She is outside picking some herbs. She wanted to do some ice tea. She says the girls love it."
That's little Bonnie. Always thinking of everyone but herself.
"Is it safe - ?"
"Shh, my boy. It is safe; Stefan is with her."
"Well, he returned from his daily hunting and offered to accompany her. He's such a gentleman."
Involuntarily, I scoffed. The old woman looked at me and told me the strangest thing. "You know that someone can love one person, but his or her true soul mate can be someone else. The trick is to discover to whom one belongs. Love is the heart. Soul mate is heart and soul, Damon. Heart and soul." She patted my shoulder and went back to cooking.
What did that mean? Why did she have to be so annoying?
It was a beautiful morning. I really wanted our first breakfast after the Dark Dimension to be a little bit special. Elena and Meredith love homemade ice tea. Mrs. Flowers was an amazing cook. I though it was a really good compliment. Mrs. Flowers didn't want me alone looking for herbs. She thoutht it would be dangerous. We were arguing when Stefan showed up. He agreed to go with me outside. I was picking and smelling some lime leaves when he said. "I saw you two sleeping on the couch. It surprised me. Why, Bonnie?"
"Stefan, are you still mad at your brother?" He didn't answer my question. I switched my eyes toward the woods and began talking. "Stefan, I don't know why. I always felt a pull toward your brother. I rationalized it was my fear because he was a vampire. But I don't feel the same toward you or Sage. I know he needs help right now even though he won't admit it. Granted, what he did was selfish. But let's be honest; it was expected from him. I know our little possible connection the kitsune took it away with his memories. But... we just help each other."
"He, help you?"
"Yes. Last night was the first nightmare free night in a long time. Stefan, it is a blessing to sleep a little without worries."
"I'm sorry, Bonnie."
"Stefan, my grandmother told me once that I was going to die young. She also told me I was a psychic. I didn't believe her. My lack of belief and trust in her cost me a lot. Now I'm certain she was telling me the truth. I will fight with all of you to stop any evil coming to this town. But I will take care for the people I consider my friends and family. Damon is part of the pack."
"Bonnie, you could get hurt. You know that, right?"
"Yes, but sometimes we have to make decisions with the heart."
"I understand. They're Whispers of the heart. Let's go to the kitchen."
We walked together very slowly, taking in the brightness of the day and the strange peace surrounding the boarding house. Before I could open the door, Stefan stopped me and in a hush tone told me; "Thank you, Bonnie, for everything you do. Not only with my brother; with all of us. I want you to know that we notice it."
I felt some tears form in my eyes. I bowed my head a little. I didn't want Stefan to see them. His words really hit a sore part of my soul. I whispered, "Thank you, Stefan." After that, he hugged me in a brotherly way. I guess that now I had another true friend.