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The Serendipity Gospels

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X: Legislacerator Sandrz, Marjet. The culling team is in the process of confirming all witnesses. All subjugglators have been cordoned off for viewing and prayer. His Honorable Tyranny is restless, but making no movements. All witnesses have now been confirmed. The legislacerator is now in the process of advising all witnesses that we will now proceed with the Imperial-sanctioned execution of Lady Terezi Pyrope. Legislacerative cull team alpha?

Y: Ready.

X: The culling team is now readying the ceremonial gallows for use. The culling team is now escorting Lady Pyrope to the noose. She is walking, unassisted, to the noose, and she is now checking the knot. One of the culling team members is offering her a hood. She has rejected the hood. She is now placing her head in the noose as the culling team secures the gallows. The gallows are secure at this point in time.

The rope is secure at this point in time. His Honorable Tyranny is restive again. His Honorable Tyranny... His Honorable Tyranny just ate a subjugglator.

Y: Is this a problem?

X: The other subjugglators don’t seem to care.

Y: Doubt the clown even noticed. Continue.

X: The gallows are secure. The noose is secure. The condemned still has her head within the noose, and her glasses have been removed. No sign of movement or resistance from the condemned. The head legislacerator stands ready.

Z: Let the court know I’ve been signed to oath to witness the execution of Lady Pyrope. Your Tyrannicism, is there any reason this execution shouldn’t be carried out?

HT: [incoherent screeching]

Z: Thank you.

X: The head legislacerator has offered the condemned opportunity for prayer and produced a mirthful priest. The condemned has declined. Noise from the subjugglator witnesses. The legislacerators are demanding order. Order is restored. The culling team has secured the lever of the gallows at this point in time.

Z: Lady Terezi Pyrope, fourteenth Grand Highblood of the Mirthful Church, First Laughsassin and legislacerative member of the Cruellest Bar. You stand guilty of high treason, levying war, unsanctioned cahoots, inciting hemocaste hatred and the blasphemous murder of the thirteenth Grand Highblood, Lord Gamzee Makara. For this direct offense against Her Imperious Condescension our Empress, you are to be hanged by the throatstem until dead.

HT: [incoherent screeching]

X: Due to your status his Honorable Tyranny will afford you the opportunity to record your last words.

TP: This smells like a very nice knot. Highly professional.

Z: Anything else?

TP: Let me die.

Z: Proceed to carry out the official order of the Court.

X: The culling team has pulled the lever.