Work Text:
Saturday, October 1 st at 7:46 PM.
(It's seven o'clock at night and he's waiting for the pizza in the oven to finish cooking. Thor is off in his room, blasting his dreadful music at a wall-shaking volume and practically begging for Loki to rip him a new one the next time he shows himself. Loki aims a lengthy, spiteful glance at the ceiling, plugs his ears with ear-buds, puts on some Nicki Minaj, and gets his ass on Facebook for the first time in forever. He finds himself with a million and a half notifications, three new friend requests, and a poke from Tony. Friend requests are the first to get eliminated.)
Friend Requests
Fandral Detroux
Elysian University
Thor Skywalker and 29 mutual friends
Odin Skywalker
Works at Skywalker and Skywalker LLP
Frigga Skywalker and 4 mutual friends
Logan Howlett
Works at I'm a Fucking Football Player
Steve Rogers and 19 mutual friends
(Loki makes a face much like that of a goldfish, accepting Fandral's request, denying Odin's, and letting his mouse hover over Logan's for a few faltering seconds before deciding to deny it as well. He then turns his attention to the aggressive and ironic little 66 sitting extraordinarily loud and red on his notifications, which he finds consists of the following.)
Steve Rogers commented on a photo you were tagged in
Emma Frost liked a photo you were tagged in
Kitty Pryde commented on a photo you were tagged in
Emma Frost commented on a photo you were tagged in
Kitty Pryde liked a photo you were tagged in
Kitty Pryde liked a photo you were tagged in
Kitty Pryde liked a photo you were tagged in
Thor Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Emma Frost commented on a photo you were tagged in
Steve Rogers commented on a photo you were tagged in
Thor Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Emma Frost commented on a photo you were tagged in
Thor Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Steve Rogers commented on a photo you were tagged in
Thor Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Steve Rogers commented on a photo you were tagged in
Natasha Romanoff liked a photo you were tagged in
Natasha Romanoff liked a photo you were tagged in
Wanda Maximoff commented on a photo you were tagged in
Wanda Maximoff liked a photo you were tagged in
Wanda Maximoff liked a photo you were tagged in
Wanda Maximoff commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Gwen Stacey liked a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker commented on a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freyr Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Freya Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Clint Barton liked a photo you were tagged in
Clint Barton liked a photo you were tagged in
Tony Stark liked a photo you were tagged in
Tony Stark liked a photo you were tagged in
Tony Stark liked a photo you were tagged in
Tony Stark liked a photo you were tagged in
Tony Stark liked a photo you were tagged in
Fandral Detroux commented on a photo you were tagged in
Fandral Detroux liked a photo you were tagged in
Fandral Detroux commented on a photo you were tagged in
Sif Angelica liked a photo you were tagged in
Sif Angelica liked a photo you were tagged in
Sif Angelica commented on a photo you were tagged in
Jean Grey liked a photo you were tagged in
Jean Grey liked a photo you were tagged in
Kurt Wagner liked a photo you were tagged in
Kurt Wagner liked a photo you were tagged in
Frigga Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Frigga Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Frigga Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Frigga Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Frigga Skywalker liked a photo you were tagged in
Thor Skywalker tagged you in a photo
Thor Skywalker tagged you in a photo
Thor Skywalker tagged you in a photo
Thor Skywalker tagged you in a photo
Thor Skywalker tagged you in a photo
(Loki hesitates when he sees names like Freyr Skywalker and Emma Frost, and the paranoid part of him is terrified of just what Thor might have put up with his face plastered all over it. It could be something embarrassing from long, long ago, or one of those annoying tagging pictures everybody loves and hates in equal and terrifying amounts, or worse – photos from Steve's party that magically showed up to kick him in the behind. Youch.
However, Frigga and Tony's names stop him from getting too worked up, and he briefly glances at the time before clicking on the first picture Thor tagged him in.
It's an ancient photograph, grainy and sentimental in a way you can see in the tiny specks of dust eternally pressed into it. The scene is predominantly dark, and the only light source that can be found in it is a birthday cake lit with ten tiny candles, over which a miniature Loki leans, lips puckered and ready to blow some bitches out. A plastic crown is perched atop his head and Thor is bent over his shoulder, his face a gleeful mask of anticipation. They are ten and eleven, here, and suddenly, Loki remembers this particular birthday party with flush of nostalgia, with a spark of pride and a touch of sadness all rolled into one beautiful bundle.
It was the last good party he'd ever had, really.)
Thor Skywalker
so i found a bunch of old pictures lol this was lokis birthday party ten years ago – with Loki Skywalker.
Frigga Skywalker, Kurt Wagner, and 7 others like this.
Sif Angelica holy shit. why so cute. stop that.♥
2 hours ago
Steve Rogers WOW :D
8 minutes ago
(Loki just stares at his monitor for a whole minute and a half, utterly perplexed. For some obscure reason, he finds it almost astoundingly funny in an odd sort of way that these people, these people he doesn't even know that well, are interested in a piece of him. Sure, that piece of him is dead now, recycled a thousand times over in the forms of old cells and new memories, and of course, that Thor's the one who displayed it has a lot to do with the reception, but still. That was him. And Mother, Kurt Wagner, and seven other people like that. And Sif thinks he was cute. And Steve Rogers is impressed.
Loki's amazement grows little by little when he goes on to the next picture.
This photo is just as timeless and faraway as the last one, and it doesn't take very long for Loki to realize that yeah, it's a little depressing for him to be seeing glimpses of himself and his life from when he and it were much happier, much more carefree. He studies the old faces of his cousins, Thor, and himself, which are painted on and joyful, for the most part.
It's that Halloween they dressed up as characters from The Wizard of Oz, and they're all piled onto Aunt Volla's ugly old vintage couch. Thor and Balder are standing over the rest of them, arms slung over shoulders and expressions polar opposites of one another – Thor looks undoubtedly ecstatic, while Balder is apparently mortified by the camera. Thor's Scarecrow costume is a bit on the baggy side, with fake hay poking out of it at all the right places and clay-colored face paint smeared across his cheeks and nose in such a wonderfully chaotic manner. Balder is adorable, his chubby face framed by a wild fringe of golden-brown mane and decorated with thick black whiskers and a ruddy pink nose.
And then there's Freyr, Freya, and Loki, squished together between Thor and Balder's legs. Freyr is a sight to behold, silver-faced and silver-haired and completely clothed in silver, with an impish smirk that's just barely detectable through a photograph. Freya sits in the middle, and Loki can't help but smile when he sees the girl he once thought of as his sun and stars. She looks like a princess, all rosy cheeks and perfect dimples and hair curled like something straight out of a movie, and her baby blue dress, lacy and ruffled and flawless, pretty much solidifies her royal image. Her wildness comes through in the ridiculous grin plastered on her face, though.
Then there Loki is, a shock of messy black fur and with a halo of ebony curls about his head, two fake puppy ears poking out from his crown. His nose is darkened along with his lips, and of all the children in the photo, he appears to be the smallest, what with his legs pulled up to his chest and his head bowed low, towards Freya's. His expression is vulnerable and open, his eyes the size of baby worlds and his lips curled in a smile so tentative it's almost heartbreaking. Loki swallows thickly.)
Thor Skywalker
lol remember this halloween? sooooooo fun – with Balder Skywalker, Freyr Skywalker, Freya Skywalker, and Loki Skywalker.
Frigga Skywalker, Kurt Wagner, and 5 others like this.
Fandral Detroux OMG . Look at your face bro ! and Loki ! This is the best thing I've ever seen ! ;)
about an hour ago
Wanda Maximoff So precious. I can't believe you were all so cute!
29 minutes ago
Emma Frost Omg Thor That's Adorable~ I Wonder What Happened Lol
28 minutes ago
Thor Skywalker y u h8in xD
27 minutes ago
Steve Rogers it's the WIZARD OF OZ :DDD
25 minutes ago
Emma Frost Im Not Haten Im Just Making An Observation Lol
Your Brother Looks So Cute Btw
25 minutes ago
Thor Skywalker @Steve no duh bro lol
@Emma u can keep that 2 urself
22 minutes ago
Emma Frost Me? Never Lol!
18 minutes ago
Kitty Pryde Omigosh, how ADORABLE! You're all as cute as bugs, holy crap, PLEASE PLEASE SHARE THE CUTENESS! I'm dyin' here! x3
11 minutes ago
(Loki is still fascinated. It feels weird, having the attention of someone who isn't Tony or Frigga. It feels weird, seeing himself so little after he's gone through so much and spent such a long time refusing to look into his past any farther than the accident. It feels fucking weird, being an object of interest, of envy, however playful that envy may be.
The next picture actually makes him laugh at loud, and Loki presses his palm against his mouth almost involuntarily to stifle the uncharacteristically joyful noise that escapes him.
It's another photograph of him, his cousins, and Thor, but this time, they're a little bit older and a lot more unconscious. Loki can make out his old sea-print comforter and a pink 'princess' blanket beneath their slumbering bodies, and he lets his eyes travel from the top left corner of the photo all the way to the bottom right in a dizzy, dawdling path on which he finds himself lingering in many places and at many times. Thor is at the start, lying on his back with his mouth hanging open, his arm flung up and across his forehead, and a secondhand Metallica t-shirt riding up his stomach. Loki can nearly hear his brother's fourteen year-old snore, just as loud and terrifying as it is today, as he examines the old image with greedy eyes.
Balder is lying next to Thor in a fetal position, his back pressed against the boy's side in a way that would be awkward if the two of them were awake. To his right is Freyr, sleeping on his stomach and baring his smooth, elegant back to the camera. His hair is a mess of gold, tufting out in odd places and so unlike his always-composed, always-collected self.
And then there's Freya and Loki, their legs tangled together and their bodies huddled close. Freya has her head tucked beneath Loki's chin and her arms wound tight around his torso, and Loki can't even begin to suppress the wave of melancholy and guilt that washes over him at the sight, because it's really goddamn hard to think about his cousin so wistfully when he knows that the last thing he said to her was more than awful.
Of course, the remorse he feels starts to ebb when he remembers that Freya has hurt his feelings in more ways than one throughout their lives, but that doesn't change the fact that he's always been darker, nastier, and a lot more spiteful than she ever was or ever could be. That doesn't change the fact that she was an angel heaven miraculously decided to give him. That doesn't change the fact that he could have been a better person and he chose not to be.
Then again, you wouldn't be able to see any of that through the photograph Loki's got his eyes on.)
Thor Skywalker
aunt vollas summer camp of doom was fuckin stressfl lol – with Balder Skywalker, Freyr Skywalker, Freya Skywalker, and Loki Skywalker.
Frigga Skywalker, Sif Angelica, and 9 others like this.
Freyr Skywalker Hah! This is fantastic! :D
about an hour ago
Freya Skywalker oh god, thor! i can't believe you found this! look at how cute and small we are, just. god. you guys remember this right? remember how auntie would have us run around the block like a bajillion times and we'd have special days like art day and sports day and THE WORST: AID DAY. you guys remember that?
48 minutes ago
Freyr Skywalker Oh yes~ I remember very well how often Thor and Balder would beat us two and Keys at football, but as soon as we had to start cleaning things they'd act like they had the flu. How sad.
32 minutes ago
Freya Skywalker lol! i still have the puzzle piece i painted and that little ceramic cat i made when we went to apollo. and i still listen to that cd loki burnt for me. and the t-shirt! remember the awesome tie-dyes we did?
30 minutes ago
Freyr Skywalker Holy shit, YES. I sincerely believe we should all get together soon.
29 minutes ago
Freya Skywalker agreed~!♥
29 minutes ago
Steve Rogers this is wonderful…
25 minutes ago
Thor Skywalker i no rite lol this was the fuckin best summer
18 minutes ago
Steve Rogers it certainly looks like it, bro :D
11 minutes ago
Thor Skywalker fuc k yes!
9 minutes ago
(This is where Loki has to stop and just feel everything out – the memories of that summer, so wonderful and dreadful in so many ways; the emotions attached to said memories; the altogether nothingness of any warm, fuzzy, friendly, and/or familial feelings he previously had for his cousins, the ones that are only just now coming back in regard to Thor. Sometimes, he doesn't even know what to do with himself when he starts thinking about how back-then was so beautiful in all the wrong ways compared to the present, especially when he realizes how much he took it all for granted. Now, when the gods are having a goddamn ball shoving thirteen years of the closest Loki could ever get to Heaven in his face, is one of those times.
Without warning, Loki makes a conscious decision to stop living in the past, at least for a little while. As much as Tony likes his stories and as much as the students of Elysian University appreciate how cute he may have been as a child, his emotions seriously need a little hang time.
Almost in spite of his newly-made choice, Loki spends a few seconds admiring the fourth picture Thor has opted to post, which isn't so bad simply because it was taken at a time when Loki was much too young to remember any circumstances or situations that may have been surrounding it. He is three and Thor is four, and the two of them are sharing what Loki instantly recognizes as Odin's ancient armchair, something that got moved into his study after their first dog took it upon himself to ruin its legs. Thor is squeezing the life out of his tiny brother's body, a frenzied grin spread across his face.)
Thor Skywalker
this was forever ago omg – with Loki Skywalker.
Frigga Skywalker, Tony Stark, and 4 others like this.
Wanda Maximoff Such beautiful children.♥
28 minutes ago
(The next and final photograph is the most recent one, taken when Loki was sixteen and Thor was seventeen. Loki quickly becomes conscious of the fact that this picture was snapped a year before the accident, and isn't it funny how his mind turns into some kind of calculator or number line when he's examining his own existence, the accident fixed at 0 and the two infinite halves of his life measured in years on either side? Isn't it funny that he'll still be doing this morbid arithmetic by the time he's at 10, or 20, or maybe even 30? Isn't it just hilarious?
The photograph is dark and illuminated by fire, much like the first one, except rather than being minute and lit by a brand new year of life, this flame is grand and slowly burning through a pile of logs and garbage. Thor, Loki, Freyr, and Freya sit beside it, crowded together and wrapped in a quilt of epic proportions, and it's just now that Loki realizes how significant, how special, this moment really is. This took place at a time when the four – five, if you include Balder – of them were falling apart at the seams, when Thor and Balder became elitist bullies who sat rather comfortably at the top of the food chain, when Freyr began to dabble in things like hallucinogenic drugs and unprotected sex, when Loki and Freya started to see themselves as enlightened and empowered by their oh-so progressive ideas about life and the indie music they liked to listen to. They all drifted away from each other in ways they thought they never would, but that's almost impossible to tell from the picture.)
Thor Skywalker
idek – with Freyr Skywalker, Loki Skywalker, and Freya Skywalker.
Frigga Skywalker, Tony Stark, and 2 others like this.
Freya Skywalker i miss this so much. why don't we ever see each other anymore? :(
about an hour ago
(Loki is extremely tempted to answer his cousin, but he doesn't. Such is the way of a coward.
Instead, he swipes the back of his hand across his eyes, pokes Tony back, and shuts his laptop in favor of getting that pizza out of the oven.)
Sunday, October 2 nd at 6:28 PM.
(He plops down on his bed, just slightly out of breath, sliding his laptop over to him and sighing quietly when Fenrir jumps up on the mattress beside him. It takes Loki about a minute to peel the too-stuffy sweater he's wearing off of him, kick his shoes to the side, maneuver himself onto his stomach, and grab Fenrir by the jowls and kiss all over his head and muzzle like the mother hen he secretly is. He lets the husky nestle beside him as he gets on the Internet to check his e-mail, Tumblr, and Facebook, digging his phone out of his pocket and rooting around for any text messages or calls he might have missed in the same instant. Isn't he a true twenty-first century man?
The only thing Loki finds of interest in the midst of a sea of junk mail and new followers is an application request.)
Thor Skywalker sent you a request in Robot Unicorn Attack.
(Okay.
Loki stares at the request for a moment, then at the clock at the bottom of the screen, then once more at the request. He wants to get back out the door and to the mall by 6:30 or 6:35, but dammit if a name like Robot Unicorn Attack isn't just a little bit tempting. And yes – he can and does act like an absentminded child sometimes. A lot of times. Times when he's alone and no one is there to see him act like a fool. Yeah. You get the picture.
After mock-consulting his dilemma with Fenrir, Loki decides to just give in and waste some time for a couple minutes. Two minutes turns into ten minutes, which eventually turns into fifteen, andreally, this is all because of the bomb-ass Erasure song that goads him on as he plays.
When six-forty-five rolls around, Fenrir jumps off of the bed and barks at Loki, almost as if to remind him that he has shit to do, like take him for a walk and buy Tony a birthday present. Loki fixes the husky with a look that conveys something like jadedness, but Fenrir just barks at him a second time, watching him with his too-intelligent, brilliant blue eyes. They complete each other, can't you tell?
Loki powers his laptop down and rolls off of his bed and onto the ground, tackling and tussling with Fenrir until the husky's got him grabbing his backpack and sweater and running out of the room, both of them howling like wolves.)
Monday, October 3 rd at 9:09 PM.
(He's absolutely exhausted, his manic episode from earlier having died down about twenty minutes after he'd gotten home. At the moment, he's holed up in his room, away from Thor White and the Four Dwarves, buried beneath two blankets and a dog, sitting on Facebook, and waiting for Tony to call him or text him or contact him in some way, shape, or form so he can go the fuck to sleep already. Jeeze.
Just as Loki begins to doze off, a notification catches his attention. He finds that Kitty has posted something on his wall, and after reading the message she's sent him, he smiles, an inkling of his good mood returning to him.)
Kitty Pryde ▶ Loki Skywalker
I think you are soooooo sweet!♥
12 seconds ago
(Loki takes a moment to formulate his response, mentally measuring out careful doses of denial, gratitude, and sarcasm in order to reply with something that isn't too awful nor too acquiescent. He adds a smiley-face at the end for good measure.)
Loki Skywalker How nice of you to say such a thing. :]
49 seconds ago
Kitty Pryde It's true tho! Don't you believe me? :3
just now
(Loki gives a wry smirk.)
Loki Skywalker Not at all, to be honest. How do you call yourself knowing me?
2 minutes ago
Loki Skywalker But I do appreciate your words. Thank you.
about a minute ago
Kitty Pryde Loki, I think you're so awesome and… what's the word? Charming? Lovable? Either one works, hehe!
53 seconds ago
Kitty Pryde The only reason you don't agree with me is because you refuse to! Duh!
45 seconds ago
(Loki runs a hand through his messy hair, reading over Kitty's comments several times and thinking to himself just how much glee the girl brings into his life – at least, when he lets her. He's at a loss for what to say for a few seconds, unused to accepting compliments from someone who isn't Tony or Frigga. It'd be a bit rude to deflect Kitty's praise with insults like he would with those closer to him.
Some higher power must be on his side, though, because it turns out that he doesn't have to say anything.)
Frigga Skywalker I have to agree with your friend, Loki.
just now
(First of all, what the hell is Frigga doing on Facebook at nine o'clock at night? You'd think a stately woman such as she would have better things to do at a time like this.
Secondly, Loki kind of feels like hiding his face and whining even though Frigga and Kitty aren't there to see him do it, because shit – he's not good at being… well, a good person. He doesn't do sweet orcharming or lovable as good as some people think he does, and while it's just barely okay to get told that he is this way, when it gets to the point where he's almost getting argued with over bullshit? No. That's when he's struck with the urge to start being as argumentative and bitter as he can possibly be.)
Kitty Pryde See! I'm not the only one! :D
10 seconds ago
(Dear Lord.)
Loki Skywalker I'm glad you think so, but I really just cannot agree with you. I'm sorry.
2 minutes ago
Kitty Pryde That's a shame. :( I think you'd be a looooottt happier if you weren't always beating your poor self up!
about a minute ago
Frigga Skywalker She's right, my dear. You don't give yourself nearly enough credit. :P
19 seconds ago
(Okay, Loki's just going to pretend he never even saw that emoticon at the end, because nobody, nobody, sticks their tongue out after finishing a statement like that. Cue a rather elegant eye-roll.)
Loki Skywalker Am I going to have to argue with you about this?
about a minute ago
Kitty Pryde YES! You will!
just now
(Alrighty, then. You broke the dam that's holding the majority of m'darling. Prepare for the fallout.)
Loki Skywalker I'm an awfully spiteful, terribly misanthropic person. I complain about the littlest things. I'm vindictive, self-centered, aggressive, dishonest. The fact that I'm too lazy and self-hating to even try to agree with you should tell you a whole lot about how unpleasant I am.
6 seconds ago
(Loki gives himself a mental pat on the back for generating a sufficiently coherent response. Now, kindly excuse him while he lays his head down on his pillow and shoots a rather dark glare at his phone.)
Frigga Skywalker You may be all that, Loki, but you can also be incredibly sweet and warm when you want to. You have so much heart, sweetie-pie. That's not something to be ashamed of.
2 minutes ago
Kitty Pryde ^THIS
about a minute ago
Kitty Pryde Plus, you are so SMART and FUNNY! Omg, I don't think I know anybody that makes me laugh as hard as you do! AND, you were one of the first people to be nice to me when the school year started. That means A LOT.
9 seconds ago
(Loki makes a face that manages to be both annoyed and pleased, a face that only intensifies with Frigga's next comment.)
Frigga Skywalker If that isn't sweet, I don't know what is. :O)
about a minute ago
Loki Skywalker Stoooop. You're making me feel good about myself.
23 seconds ago
Kitty Pryde Isn't that the point lol? xD
just now
(Loki lets a quiet chuckle escape him right before his cellphone starts vibrating, and all of a sudden, his interest in everything drastically declines in comparison to the call or message he's receiving. Oops.)
Loki Skywalker Believe me, I appreciate it. I really do, but I have to go now, sadly. Morpheus calls.
just now
(A little lie never hurt anyone.)
Frigga Skywalker Goodnight, lovebug. Dream sweet. :)
about a minute ago
Kitty Pryde Aww, okay. :( Nighty-night, Loki. I'll see you tomorrow! :D
8 seconds ago
(Loki grins, reveling in the wonderfully rare sensation of being loved before putting his laptop to sleep, carefully relocating it to the floor, gently pushing Fenrir off of his hip, and reading over his most recent text message.
And what do you know? It's Tony.)
Tuesday, October 4 th at 8:17 PM.
(He's sitting in the center of the sofa, an array of textbooks and notebooks and a laptop at his left, a sleepy, satisfied husky at his right. Thor is on the floor in front of the TV, going at it on the X-Box like all normal, educated people do on Tuesday nights.
In all honesty, though? Loki has no room to think anything remotely condescending of Thor, and that's mainly because he's logged into both Facebook and Tumblr at the moment, which axiomatically means that about fifty percent of his attention is not on the studying he needs to be doing. Yeah. Common sense and logic definitely run in their family if you hadn't noticed.
Loki is glancing up from his sociology notes when he notices the little red 1 on top of his messages. He furrows his brow for a nearly imperceptible moment, deftly moving his fingers over his mouse pad and clicking his way into his inbox, where he finds the following.)
Tony Stark
i have a question for you, moon of my life. ;)
(Loki smiles a bit, real soft and vague, shifting his position slightly to type a reply.)
Loki Skywalker
Yes, my sun and stars?
Tony Stark
which do you prefer: endymion or joie de vivre?
(In case you're wondering just what the hell Tony is talking about, and you probably are, Endymion and Joie de Vivre are two bars/nightclubs in the area. The former is one of those indie, classy sort of music bars, while the latter is pretty much the queen of all nightclubs, in both good and bad ways.
Loki takes a few seconds to consider his answer as Thor practically roars at the television.)
Loki Skywalker
That depends. Endymion is homier and attracts a better crowd, in my opinion, but Joie de Vivre is great if you want to have a lot of fun.
Why?
Tony Stark
just wondering… ;)
(Loki deadpans.)
Loki Skywalker
Tony, seriously. :|
Tony Stark
i'm just trying to decide where to take you on my birthday.
(Loki almost wants to scream, now, more out of exasperation than glee, to tell you the truth. Sure, he's overjoyed to go anywhere with Tony, and yes, he knows that his feelings are entirely mutual, but goddammit if something isn't wrong with this equation when he's getting rewarded and it's Tony'sbirthday, not to mention the paranoid but entirely feasible possibility that people like Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, and maybe even Kurt Wagner, might show up and ruin everything. See what I mean?
Tony must be psychic or something, because he sends Loki another message before the man can even start typing up a bitchy retort.)
Tony Stark
please don't get upset. the only thing i want for my birthday is to be with you. it just so happens that you want the same thing.
at least… i hope you do?
(Loki deflates like a balloon, his puckered scowl returning to its previously pleased, smiling state. He finds himself remembering for what must be the millionth time this week that he is deeply, deeply in love with one of the most flawed and beautiful people to grace the Earth, and how unfathomably lucky he is to have such a person love him back.)
Tony Stark
i love you 5ever?
(Loki laughs wholeheartedly, drawing Thor's best pair of reluctantly curious, What the hell is up with you? eyes his way and rousing Fenrir beside him when he does. The husky moves to rest his head in Loki's lap as the man types away at his keyboard.)
Loki Skywalker
I love you too, darling.
Tony Stark
youre not mad then?
(Loki smiles.)
Loki Skywalker
Of course not. I just don't think it's fair that you're always so concerned about me. :[
Tony Stark
tough shit, babe. you know i'm alllll about you allllll the time.
(Loki's smile grows wider at Tony's response, and Lord knows his heart won't be able to take this for much longer, Lord knows he's going to have trouble falling asleep for the second night and a row because of this.)
Loki Skywalker
How tragic, fair Romeo.
Tony Stark
i prefer 'romantic', dear juliet. ;)
Tony Stark
is joie de vivre okay with you?
Loki Skywalker
Whatever you like is fine with me.
(Loki returns his eyes to his sociology notes for the first time in what seems like forever, and after giving the thoroughly scribbled-on, idly doodled-on page a quick skim or two, he supposes that he knows the material well enough to pass his impending exam on human sexuality. The thought of dinner strikes him just as he flips his notebook closed, and when Thor begins to yell expletives at the television, Loki decides that he's just going to make hamburgers tonight. Everyone's happy that way.)
Tony Stark
i really do love you, y'know? and i miss you. so much.
(Loki just barely catches the message in the midst of his book-packing and sofa-clearing. When he reads it, he feels as if Cupid himself has punched him in the gut and shoved every last one of his damned arrows down his throat, and holy fuck, he hasn't felt like this since high school. Even then his feelings weren't so strong.)
Loki Skywalker
I love and miss you too, Tony, but I'm afraid I have to go for the night. Dinner won't make itself.
Tony Stark
well fuck. :( i'll call you before i hit the sheets, okay?
(Loki frowns slightly, his heartstrings giving a sad, minute twinge of guilt and longing at Tony's words. He briefly racks his memory for something beautiful, for a phrase that will tear Tony apart just as much as it will sooth him, for borrowed words that'll express exactly what's going on inside him before than his own ever could.)
Loki Skywalker
Sweet, goodnight. This but of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
(Would you take a look at how gay he is?)
Loki Skywalker
That's Shakespeare, by the way.
(It's several minutes before Tony replies, and when he does, Loki thinks he couldn't possibly love the man any more.)
Tony Stark
my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. the more i give to thee, the more i have, for both are infinite.♥
Wednesday, October 5 th at 10:09 PM.
(This evening, he finds himself rather restless and his mind like a machine of perpetual motion. He's just returned from taking Fenrir on a particularly unnecessary walk, and I use the word 'unnecessary' because the husky didn't actually need to be walked – Loki just wanted the luxury of being occupied, a luxury he no longer has.
Now he lies in bed, Fenrir draped over and resting on his back as he dawdles around on his laptop. Loki logs into Facebook and discovers that he has one notification and one message, which he makes quick work of investigating. The notification goes first.)
Thor Skywalker listed you as his Brother. To approve this relationship for your profile, go to Profile Review.
(Loki doesn't know whether to get sentimental and doe-eyed and touched by the request or just write it off as Thor's coincidental remembrance that oh!, they are related, which is probably all it really is. He decides to do a bit of both, lamenting over the fact that nothing is ever easy or simple anymore as approves the appeal.
Then there's the message, which turns out to be a mass conversation between him and the people he loves and hates the very most in the world – his family. His cousins and Thor in particular.)
Freya Skywalker
okay, guys. ever since thor posted those pictures on saturday, i've been thinking about how much we need to get together. the five of us haven't all seen each other since last christmas! i mean, really. we used to be together ALL THE TIME.
(That was before the accident, Loki thinks almost automatically, always so quick to be bitter.)
Freya Skywalker
but seriously. we NEED to make plans soon. i miss us. :')
Freyr Skywalker
I'm with the sister on this one.
Thor Skywalker
omg YES this needs 2 fukkin happen
esp bcuz loki n i liv 2gether now
Freya Skywalker
that's right! :D this is perfect! we can have dinner or go out or something with you guys. :DDD
Balder Skywalker
I think this is a good idea.
Freyr Skywalker
We are known for those ~ ;)
(Really, bitch? Really?)
Freya Skywalker
OKAY. :D
what would be a good day for this? i want this to happen!
Balder Skywalker
Is Friday okay…?
Freyr Skywalker
I'm down with that.
Thor Skywalker
hellz yeah i thnk thats awesome
Freya Skywalker
sweet~!♥
(Loki scowls, nasty and dark and ooh, so pissed and vile he can taste it on his tongue when he moves his mouth around it. Of course they would include him in this conversation and then promptly forget all about him. Of course his opinions will have no value in the face of theirs. Of fucking course.)
Loki Skywalker
I can't do Friday.
(It takes awhile for someone to respond, and Loki is ready to just get the fuck off of the computer and go to bed with his anger like he does almost every other night when Freya finally does.)
Freya Skywalker
oh no! D: why?
(Loki glares at his monitor, glances at his phone, and swiftly reminds himself why this all matters so much, why he wouldn't change his plans for the world, least of all for his shit family.)
Loki Skywalker
It's my friend's birthday. I promised that I'd be with him.
(And now Loki just wants to cry, to sob like a baby and bury himself in layers upon layers of blankets and pillows so that he's asphyxiating on more than just his heart. He wants Tony there with him so he can go to sleep, even though he knows the man's presence would have him wide awake and discarding his plans to wait things out until the seventh. He wants sleep, wants it more than anything because it's like death without the commitment, and fuck, does he get tired of life sometimes.)
Freyr Skywalker
That's more important than spending time with your family? Damn, Keys, tell us how you really feel. ;)
(That's all it takes for Loki's sadness to instantly turn into red-hot wrath, and suddenly, he's so very much aware of why he hates his family so, why he'd rather eat shit than voluntarily spend time with them, why he'd prefer to live in another state or country or galaxy, and why he can't stand everything about everything sometimes.)
Loki Skywalker
YES, it's more important than spending time with you. I personally think it makes a lot of fucking sense that I prefer the company of a close friend over that of people I haven't seen or talked to in months, not that you'd know anything about keeping promises or being there for someone you so-say 'care' for.
Loki Skywalker
I'm terribly sorry if I've confused you. I know that had to be a lot to handle.
(I'll be honest with you – that was pretty damn harsh. And yes, and Loki is kind of-sort of overreacting about this. But you should keep in mind that he hasn't had the chance to speak up for himself to his cousins in such a long time, and the fact that he doesn't actually have to face them over the Internet makes being a bitch so much easier. Plus, this is Tony we're talking about. That makes a hugedifference.)
Freyr Skywalker
Calm down, firecracker. I was just joking lol.
(Oh.)
Loki Skywalker
If you were joking, why aren't I laughing?
Freya Skywalker
stop it, you guys. this is ridiculous.
Freya Skywalker
it's okay that you're busy, loki. we can do this some other time, you know? :(
(Loki chooses not to answer, just stares at his screen and attempts to will his heart to beat normally and his blood to stop boiling. At this very moment, he'd honest to God prefer never seeing Freyr, Freya, or Balder again, and while that's a bit melodramatic, it's the truth of his feelings and he's always been this way when it comes to his cousins. The only thing that's keeping him from bitching at Thor for this bullshit is the dog on his back and the metaphorical ditch doing so would land him in. Fuck.)
Freya Skywalker
i miss you, loki.♥
(Okay, fuck this. Loki doesn't think twice about closing his laptop and dropping it to the floor, pressing his face into his pillow and letting out a much-needed, incredibly frustrated, impossibly broken scream.)
Thursday, October 6 th at 11:45 PM.
(He can't sleep. He just can't, not while knowing his whole world is going to change in about fifteen minutes. Wait… make that fourteen.
Because of his wakefulness, Loki has made the genius decision to lie around on the sofa, watch House Hunters nine thousand times in a goddamn row, and play Robot Unicorn Attack like he's an addict and it's a drug. Yes, he has class in the morning. Yes, he loves, needs, and values his beauty rest like a spouse or a favorite friend. And yes, he kind of hates himself for getting so worked up about this – after all, they're only emotions, things that don't even physically exist, that just sit up in his head and happen because of the neurons and chemicals that occupy his brain, that manifest in skipped heartbeats and shivers along his skin and baby oceans in his eyes.
But fourteen minutes has just turned to thirteen, and the butterflies in Loki's stomach are getting pretty violent.
After beating his high score with 29831, Loki gives into temptation and just messages Tony, because it's 11:48 and he feels like he might start vomiting all over the place any minute now if he doesn't.)
Loki Skywalker
Are you awake?
(Tony takes his time to reply, and it's 11:51 and Loki's going insane when he does.)
Tony Stark
yeah. what are you doing up?
(Loki sighs, deep and slow and almost aggressive in nature, and isn't it sad that this is the only way he's able to breathe nowadays?)
Loki Skywalker
Thinking of you.
(He hits the enter key faster than his rationality can tell him not to, goddammit. Loki winces, drives the heel of his palm against his eye, and quickly conjures up a statement that may or may not curtain how obviously lovesick he is right now. It's hard, this whole being vulnerable sort of thing.)
Loki Skywalker
I can't sleep. :[ I haven't been able to all week.
(Wow.)
Tony Stark
i'm sorry. :( is something wrong? did i do something?
(Tony would be one to think he's caused one of Loki's many dramatic emotional catastrophes, and Loki's not sure whether this amuses or worries him. He bites his lip, reading over Tony's name several times like it's a prayer he's trying to memorize.)
Loki Skywalker
You did everything, Tony. What makes you think that's a bad thing?
Tony Stark
i'm always fucking things up. it wouldn't surprise me. :)
(The smiley at the end of his statement tells Loki that Tony isn't totally down and depressed about what he's saying, but he does know that the man's not kidding around. If anybody has an inferiority complex more severe than Loki's, it's Tony. He might not let it show very often, but it's there, and Loki would love nothing more than to take it away.
Well. He'd love to do a lot more than that, to be honest, but you understand what I mean.)
Loki Skywalker
I just miss and love you a lot, okay?
(Two minutes pass. Not a word is said.)
Loki Skywalker
Tony? :[
(Two minutes more, and still – there's nothing. Loki closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe deeply, stares up at the ceiling and counts back from ten, nine, eight…
Here he is, twenty years dying and sleep-deprived to a point that's almost unhealthy, sitting in the middle of his living room couch and watching HGTV like a middle-aged housewife, waiting for the one person who's never stopped waiting for him and chilled to the core at the possibility that he's taken too long, that he's much too little, much too late. It's 11:59.)
Tony Stark
i miss and love you too, loki. ever since sunday, i haven't been able to get you off my mind. it's driving me insane… in a good way of course.
Tony Stark
i don't even know what i'm trying to say, really. i can't think straight when i'm thinking about you (haha, get it?). but seriously. i don't know what to do anymore.
(Shit.)
Tony Stark
i'm in love with you.
you know that already, but…
i'm in love with you.
i'm in love with you.
(Loki lets out a small, breathy little sob, and before he knows it, he's crying into his hands, cupped against his face like a shield, wishing he were dead because he can't deal with things like this anymore, because he's sick of lying to Tony and sick of lying to himself, because he doesn't deserve to love and be loved like this, especially if it's going to be the greatest thing he'll ever learn or feel orlive. He doesn't deserve it at all. And he can't tell Tony the truth until tomorrow, which… turns out to be today, now.)
Loki Skywalker
Happy birthday, my love.♥
(He's just awful, isn't he?)
Tony Stark
fuck, loki. :)
thank you.
Tony Stark
you're coming to see me tomorrow/today, right?
(Loki sniffles.)
Loki Skywalker
Of course. I promised you, didn't I? I wouldn't pass this up for anything.
Tony Stark
good. :)
do me a favor and sleep now. don't worry about what'll happen in the morning. don't even go to class. just sleep for me. please?
(And then Loki isn't just crying; he's got his face pressed against his arm and he's fucking sobbing, biting into the sleeve of his sweater and dampening the thick fabric with his saliva. Tony's words swim in his vision like fish in the sea, and isn't it ironic that he feels like he's drowning now, that saltwater is stinging his eyes, that he can't breathe correctly if his life depended on it? His feelings can be so hilarious sometimes, can't they? Can't they?)
Loki Skywalker
But I can't sleep without you.
Tony Stark
now you know how i feel.
(Oh my God.)
Tony Stark
i'm sorry, babe. i love you so much.
do you want me to come over? i'll be there in a heartbeat if you need me.
(Loki is quickly and instantaneously reminded of the fact that encountering Tony right now would most likely end in them being together, and even though that is what he wants and it is Tony's birthday, it's too early right now. He has to pull himself together.)
Loki Skywalker
I think I can manage on my own for awhile… thank you, though.
Tony Stark
of course. :)
go to sleep, loki. you need to rest. i don't want you feeling like shit on my big day.
(Loki sniffles again, rubbing the cuffs of his sleeves against his eyes in a feeble attempt to clean his face of his tears. He lets a soft, pitiful whining noise escape him, pressing his fingers against the right side of his chest just to make sure his heart still beats there. I mean, of course it would, but it's nice in a sad sort of way to know that life goes on even when you're codependent and dishonest to a fault.)
Loki Skywalker
I love you. I really do.
Tony Stark
ditto.♥
(Loki forces himself to get off of the computer and go to bed, then, where he'll cry for about forty-five minutes before finally falling into a deep, dreamless sleep. He won't wake up until ten o'clock in the morning.)
Friday, October 7 th at 8:09 PM.
(He checks his Facebook a few minutes before he leaves, more as an afterthought than an active, purposeful choice. There he finds three notifications and a message, and, as per usual, he takes care of the notifications first.)
Balder Skywalker listed you as his Cousin. To approve this relationship for your profile, go to Profile Review.
Freyr Skywalker listed you as his Cousin. To approve this relationship for your profile, go to Profile Review.
Freya Skywalker listed you as her Cousin. To approve this relationship for your profile, go to Profile Review.
(Loki swiftly accepts all three requests, immediately deciding not to get upset or emotional over something so trivial and potentially insignificant. He then moves onto his inbox, toes his shoes on, and checks the time all at once, and his heart gives a little leap at what he discovers there, awaiting his reply.)
Tony Stark
are you gonna be here soon?
(Loki grins a knowing little grin.)
Loki Skywalker
I'm leaving right now. ;]
Saturday, October 8 th at 10:33 PM.
(He's lying in bed, Fenrir curled up beside him, his phone pressed against his ear, and a keyboard at his fingertips. He keeps smiling, again and again and with more jubilance every time he does, and that could be for any number of reasons – the pleasant, throbbing ache at the base of his back, the way his hips send small jolts of pain spreading up his belly and spine every time he moves, the warmth that won't stop blooming in his core, so unusual in its beauty and splendor, or maybe, just maybe, the voice that fills his ear like music, soft and deep and so very very sweet it almost hurts.
"Are you on Facebook?" Tony asks, completely out of the blue.
Loki makes a face, opening up a new tab as he replies, "No?"
"Get on it," Tony demands with an easy laugh, forcing Loki to smile for the bajillionth time, and shit, his cheeks are going to be so sore tomorrow at the rate he's going. "I'm checking out your relationship status, and honestly? I'm offended."
Loki's breath catches in his throat when he sees the notification waiting for him. He bites against the grin threatening to explode across his face, and Jesus Christ, he's got tears pooling in his eyes and his heart beating hummingbird-fast and his voice leaving him in a choked stutter when he retorts, just a bit weakly, "It's only been a day."
Tony chuckles lowly, says, "And what a great day, don't you think?"
Loki nods before he realizes that Tony can't see him, rubbing his thumb against his dampening eyes and laughing, "Definitely." He clicks 'Accept'.)
Loki Skywalker is in a relationship with Tony Stark.
(There's a moment of silence and stillness, then, during which Loki listens to Tony breathe and Tony listens to him sniffle and pant into the phone. And then Tony sniffs, too. And then they laugh, perfectly in unison.
"Don't cry," Loki says, laughing harder and wiping at his cheeks.
"You wanna talk?" Tony counters, chuckling wetly through the tiny sob that escapes him. Oh God.
"I love you," Loki breathes, watching in borderline awe as three, four, five notifications pop up in rapid succession, and all because he's in love.)
Loki Skywalker is in a relationship with Tony Stark.
Kitty Pryde, Frigga Skywalker, and 2 others like this.
Kitty Pryde Finally! :D
just now
(Loki lets out a rather uncharacteristic cry of happiness, turning onto his side to pull Fenrir into his arms and kiss the husky's head, nose, neck, ears, and he holds him tightly and doesn't let go, and he listens to Tony repeat after him over and over and over again, and he smiles. All because he's in love.)