The creature had been rampaging around the city for hours. It moved strangely, its joints at weird angles, and its loud roars echoed across Manhattan. It stalked between buildings, pushing its bulky frame into the narrow streets and causing millions of dollars of property damage in the process.
It stamped on cars and people alike, knocked over streetlights and fire hydrants. The president decreed that if it could not be contained they would be forced to bomb the creature, and a significant amount of the city in the process.
“That is NOT Godzilla,” Tony said as The Avengers stood in the street watching the gigantic dusky pink animal advance towards them.
“What the hell IS that thing?” Clint asked.
“Something from another realm?” Steve said to Thor.
“I have seen nothing like this creature in any realm, Captain,” Thor replied and he raised Mjolnir, “But I have defeated great beasts before. This one should pose no problem.”
Thor unleashed Mjolnir, it went flying at the creature, and then bounced harmlessly off its thick skin with a barely a dent.
Thor called the hammer back to his hand and said, "I do not understand, Mjolnir has never failed to harm a beast before."
“We're screwed,” Tony said. “OK, green guy, you're up.”
The Hulk stood behind Iron Man, clenching his fists and roared, “HULK SMASH!”
He jumped down the street, gaining height with every leap and landed squarely on the monsters head. He started raining down blows upon it's skull, but the creature merely shook it's head like a horse being annoyed by a fly and sent the Hulk crashing through a skyscraper, knocking him out.
“Er… Hawkeye?” Tony asked. "You wanna try next?"
“You HAVE to be kidding me!” Clint replied.
“Never send a god to do a scientist's work,” Tony said as he rolled his eyes and pulled his visor down.
He took off, flew up to the snarling creatures head and unleashed a blast of the unibeam, directly from the arc reactor in his chest, into it's face.
The thing pulled back a for second, it's eyes blinking furiously, then it let out a gigantic sneeze that blew Iron Man back and he landed, skidding along the asphalt, 100 yards down the street. He sat up and wiped mucous from his visor, then watched as the creature scrunched it's face up and rubbed at it's nose with one of it's ‘hands’.
“Tony!” Steve shouted, as he ran over. “Are you OK?”
“I'm fine. Just a little snotty,” he replied, wiping more mucous from his armor. “How the hell are we going to beat this thing?”
“I think for now the best option is to force it to open ground,” Steve replied. “We need more room so we can take it on as a team.”
“Good plan,” Tony said as Steve held out a hand and helped him climb to his feet.
They headed back towards where Thor stood, randomly throwing Mjolnir at the creature, desperately trying to find a weakness.
“Thor, we're going to try to force it to open ground,” Steve said. “Central park is only one block away, if we can get it into the open we can-”
A flash of green light cut him off and Loki appeared at the feet of the beast.
“I knew it!” Tony shouted. “I knew he was behind this!”
Loki looked up at the creature briefly, his eyes widening as if he was surprised to see it, and then waved his hand in the air in a circling motion. Light shot from his fingers, glittering gold and green, it formed ropes in the air that settled around the monsters limbs and body. Loki yanked his hand back and the magical bonds grew tight, pulling it's legs in, completely disabling it. The creature sat on it's haunches in the middle of the street, unable to move.
“What the hell…” Clint said as Tony and Steve both stared at each other in shock.
“Loki!” Thor said, moving towards his brother and slapping a hand gratefully on his shoulder. “Thank you for defeating the beast. We were finding it most impossible.”
“What? Oh, that thing? It was nothing, this is far more important-”
As Loki spoke the creature let out an ungodly roar that blotted out the rest of his words and caused everyone else to cover their ears. Loki looked over his shoulder and gave the creature a withering stare.
“Do you mind?” he snapped at it. “I am trying to hold a civilized conversation with my brother.”
Tony swore for a second the creature looked suitably embarrassed about being chastised, and as Loki went to speak again it let out a loud mewling sound.
“I will not tell you again!” he shouted at it and held his hand up, bringing his fingertips together and the monster's mouth slammed shut.
He turned back to Thor and said, “Now I can continue without interruption, where is my spare cape?”
“What?” Thor asked.
“This one needs to be taken to the dry cleaners since you trod all over it with your huge dirty boots after your battle with the Skrulls last week.”
“What?” Thor asked again, still confused, as he looked over Loki’s shoulder at the monster.
“I cannot appear in public without a cape, it would be terribly improper!”
“You defeated the beast to ask me where your cape is?” Thor asked, disbelievingly.
“Yes! Are you deaf?” Loki asked, angrily. “Where have you hidden it?”
“I believe you packed it away in the drawer under your bed.”
“Oh… Oh yes! So I did!” Loki said, his face suddenly lighting up. “I had forgotten about that. Thank you.”
“You are welcome,” Thor said.
“I shall leave you and your friends to your games now,” Loki said, stepping back. “Oh and be home by 8 tonight. I have procured a table for two at a restaurant that apparently does an excellent Wild Boar.”
Loki snapped his fingers and the magical bonds that held the creature in place dissolved.
“This creature's skull is particularly thin on the left hand side of it's head. Have fun, brother,” Loki said with a smile and vanished.
Later, as Thor smashed Mjolnir repeatedly into the monsters one weak spot, reducing it's head to a bloody pulp, his mouth started to water. He really loved Wild Boar.