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The Listhp That Makesth Your Heart Sthtutter.

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The lisp, it always makes you smile, you love it. His lisp, though… he calls it yours and you always downplay just how many beats that makes your heart skip. You love it when he slips up on TV and he ends up speaking with that lisp, your lisp.

He calls it your lisp because he slips up the most when he’s with you, because he spends more time with you, within your line of work and without it, that when neither of you are working, he stops covering it up and just speaks normally so sometimes when the cameras are rolling and other people’s eyes are watching, other ears are listening in, he forgets because you are there and his eyes are on you and you alone and it’s your lisp. You always hate how he casually switches back into the cover when he realizes his slip up, you always hate how he doesn’t believe you when you tell him that you think the lisp is sexy, hate how he doesn’t see how his lisp makes your heart stutter.

The very first time you heard him speak to you, he had the lisp and that’s when, you think, you fell in love with it. The very first time you heard him speak to you without the lisp, you felt cheated, felt like he had given you the most precious diamond in the world and then snatched it from your grasp claiming ‘it’ll only hold us down.’ That’s what he thinks, thinks that his lisp will hold him back, hold him down from getting further with his career, with his life, you can’t understand this because the two of you are good friends with Jonathan Ross and if ‘Wossy’ is anything to go by, lisps certainly don’t hold you back, and even with the lisp, if you know David, and you know David, nothing will hold him back, not if he doesn’t want it to.

You’ve given up hassling him about it, about how he needs to stop worrying about what people think so much, you stopped hassling him because he turned it back on you. He turned around and told you that, just like your ice-man persona, he needed to be able to speak properly, to not sound so odd and ‘cute’ when speaking on national television. He turned around and told you that his shield was the way he could get his thoughts across without them being stunted by the lisp… the lisp he never tries to hide when it’s just the two of you. You stopped hassling when you realized that David lets his guard down around you, lets it down completely and utterly… you stopped pushing when you realized he’d started trusting and he was trusting you.

It still bothers you that he thinks of his lisp, the lisp you find cute and adorable and just so him, as being something that holds him down, that stunts his progress in the world of comedy. You still hate how much it hurts when he just snaps out of being your David to being the Worlds David within moments. You still dislike these things and many others about the way David handles his lisp, but you reason with yourself that as long as David doesn’t hide behind his shield and his perfect pronunciation when he’s with you… you reason that you won’t get so offended.

After all, he puts up with you being ice-man, because he’s the only one in the world who can thaw you out, can warm you so much that, even without your shield, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks because, when you’re tucked up in David’s arms, you’re invincible, and you love the way David’s lisp makes that word sound when he calls you that. You can do this, can ignore the feeling that forms in your stomach of being cheated out of the most beautiful sound in the world, can ignore it because it’ll be the last thing you hear as you fall asleep at the end of every too long and too empty day, and that is just incwedibwe.