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What You Wanted

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You feel like hell. The voices are plaguing you now more than ever and it's worse this time because you swear sometimes you hear a familiar voice and look across the lab to where whoever it is is sitting.

Today it was Nepeta, “be careful, he's dangerous,” and you look over to see her sitting on Equius's lap batting at the towel hanging off his shoulder and giggling and you can't imagine her dying, you know you're doomed, you probably all are but it's the tone in her voice, almost begging that gets to you. That in turn puts your back up because you can't be sure if she means Jack, you hope she means Jack, because if she doesn't then it could be somebody in the room, somebody you see daily and you won't even know until it's too late.

So you'd made your escape into the bowels of the lap, taking transportalizers at random and not really caring where you ended up. The more you tried to block the screaming in your brain though the louder it got, the more your head ached and you'd found yourself curled into a corner between the wall and the boiler because it might not be your reccupracoon but it was warm enough and all you wanted to do was close your eyes and ignore the world.

Of course when there were only twelve of you and some people already didn't like each other it was hard to have so much as a moment alone and within about an hour of you leaving the computer room to mope you heard footsteps across the stone floor.


At the very least it is one of the people you actually know how to handle and when she kneels in front of you and gently strokes your cheek you welcome the distraction from your misery. Until she speak again, “Eridan is looking for you, he says you've wormed your way out of a rematch enough times.”

You groan and drop your head unceremoniously onto her shoulder ignoring that it rattles your brain and that in turn makes your stomach flip uncomfortably.

“I came down because I thought if I found you first I could maybe tell him to go away,” Feferi tells you stroking your hair.

You hope she's right and soon you're given the opportunity to find out, you hear his obnoxiously heavy footsteps before he even announces his presence, they echo off the walls and thunder into your brain with a sensation akin to being punched in the brain.

You don't want to deal with him, you don't even want to open your eyes because every time you do it's like being stabbed in the face and hit in the stomach all at once and it isn't pleasant.

“Stop awoidin' me Sol, you can't run awuh-way forewer,” He says and you assume he's looking straight at you but your face is buried in Feferis hair and you have no intention of moving but when she stiffens beside you it lances through your entire being and you can feel crackling psionic energy causing sparks to fly from your fingertips.

Eridan snorts and Feferi balls her fist against your neck where it fell from your hair.

“Leave Eridan,” She says and her voice is like a snapping string on a violin that jolts into your brain leaving a stinging ring in your ears. “Leave us alone,”

“Is it ewen safe for her to be near you wuh-when you're like this?” Eridan asks, voice clouded by a thick layer of smugness and you feel your chest constrict painfully, more energy builds in your hands and you fight against it because you know deep down he's right, it isn't safe to be near you when your grip on control is slowly waning.

“Eridan, drop it,” Feferi raises her voice an octave and you're suddenly hyper-aware of her blood status, she is an empress after all and she's never sounded like one more.

Eridan sniggers and you clench your fists, prickles of electricity bouncing into your palms where your nails are digging into your skin.

“You already blasted one matesprit, I guess, so wuh-what's another,” He says in a tone so nonchalant you want to punch his smug face in, not that you can even see it, you're still shutting your eyes tightly, afraid of what might happen if you open them now not for yourself but for the girl you're still holding onto like a lifeline.

“Shut your fathe,” You snarl as your heart starts pounding against your ribs so hard it's painful.

“Oh you didn't think Vvris wuh-wouldn't tell someone wuh-what she did, she wuh-was proud of that one, Sol.”

That's it. You are in no state to fight him but you're also in no state to listen to his bullshit either. You let go of your matesprit and using the boiler to steady yourself you pull yourself up to stand on shaky legs. “I thaid shut the fuck up” you annunciate slowly and carefully and the psionics are building at a rate parallel to your temper, you can practically feel yourself spitting tiny fizzing jolts of energy because you won't just unleash them.

“And if I don't?”

You open your eyes, gingerly, as carefully as you can and wait for your glasses to be blasted off your face. They stay put and even though your vision is flickering tiny red and blue sparks you still have just enough control.

He's stood holding his stupid gun pointed at you and you have a feeling he's really serious this time.

“FF I need you to leave,” you tell her because Eridan, well you don't give a shit if you hit him so hard his soul gets ripped into tiny fragments and can never be repaired in the way Aradia was, but you know you'll never forgive yourself if she gets caught in the crossfire.

“Sollux, I-”

You cut her off by raising and hand that is already visibly sparking. “Pleathe, jutht go okay,”

“I don't think this is a good idea,” She says and she's next to you again now, you can smell the ocean on her skin even though you don't remember when she was last anywhere near one.

“Look he'th not going two back down,” You tell her.

“At least you're right about one thing,” Eridan says fingers clenching his gun a fraction tighter.

“I would never forgive mythelf if I hurt you, pleathe go and thtay out of the way,”

She needs no further instruction, you know you've gotten through to her and you and Eridan both know from the way that she's ready to back down she has well and truly given up on him, which just makes you both all the more willing to do some serious damage to each other.

She gives Eridan one last look of pure irritation, “Kill him and you're a dead man,” she spits before striding out in the most regal way she can.

“You turned her against me.” Eridan snaps and you have no idea where the fuck he pulled that one out of, except maybe his own ass because before Sgrub, before any of this, you really didn't give a shit about him, in fact other than being the guy who hit on everybody, flarped with Vriska and liked to whine he was nothing to you. You didn't even have motivation to so much as bother to really dislike him before he started this stupid duelling shit.

“Fuck off.” Is all you can bring yourself to reply because your head feels like it's going to explode at any moment and his barbs about Aradia actually stung.

“Make me,” he says pulling the trigger and you nearly collapse trying to avoid the blast of energy from the barrel of his gun.

When you're steady again you send a shockwave of psionic energy right back at him before pulling off your glasses and shoving them into your pocket. This time you mean business.

When the haze in your vision clears he's on his ass and scrambling for Ahab's Crosshairs because you've knocked it out of his hands. You direct another blast straight at his silly little gun and it goes crashing across the floor into the wall.

He looks straight back at you with a mixture of fear and loathing on his face and you miscalculate and stop your attack. He's a little, well okay, a lot more versed in combat than you and sprints to get it as you direct another wave of energy right at him that sends him skidding head first into the wall. He crumples and you advance on his still body not realising that he's bluffing until the white blast of his gun sends you to the floor with a crunch that you're fairly sure is the joint in your wrist.

You lift yourself back up using only your mind and you tell yourself it's an intimidation tactic when honestly it's because you're not entirely convinced you can hold the weight of your body after the combined effects of the migraine and the fall.

The next wave you send out smashes the water tank behind him and showers him and the room with water and chunks of metal. You take a kind of sick pleasure in the tears they inflict in his cape and shirt as he tries to sheild his face and run, the effort fails though because the floor is now slippery and he falls flat on his face.

You're having trouble now though, your mind won't focus and you're fizzling out the ability to actually channel where you want your attacks to go and all you're doing is exploding everything with ill timed shots that never seem to hit him, you're just destroying the room and you couldn't care less because at least it's an outlet and as you reduce a large portion of the wall he's in front of to rubble you manage at the very least to bury his stupid toy gun in the crumbled bricks.

Eridan lets out a strangled cry of utter frustration and before you have time to build up more energy he flings himself on top of you and you both fall to the wet floor scratching and clawing and punching at each other. He slams his head straight into yours and you're seeing stars. When your vision comes back his nose has showered both your faces with a purple cascade.

He wraps a hand around the wrist you instinctively covered your face with after the headbutt and slams it into the ground before you have time to realise that you're trapped beneath him, his sodden, tattered cape wrapping around both of you and tying one of your legs to one of his, you're trapped and you panic doing the only logical thing you can think of.

You bite down on an exposed part of his collarbone until you can taste blood and he lets go of your wrist but before you can react he's grabbed hold of your hair and smashed your head into the ground and you're not sure how many more attacks to the head you can take but he's staring down at you, you've both quit struggling, you're tired and dizzy and he's panting heavily and you're aware, suddenly hyper-aware of something that was not there before you bit him pushing into your leg.

You grab his scarf because you still can't think clearly enough and you've still never fought quite like this and tug, what you're attempting to do is throttle him with the stupid fucking thing, what you're managing to do it is pull his face closer to yours.

Before you can even say “black romance” he tries to kiss you.

“That ith not what thith ith!” You snap shoving him away and moving your face and anything to stop him because no, no you don't want that.

“Oh really?” He raises an eyebrow but he looks a whole lot less condescending when his glasses are missing a one lense and the other is cracked and the frames are bent and crooked.

“Really,” You spit back trying to wriggle away and realising that your leg is still stuck in his fucking stupid cape.

Eridan snorts, or attempts too through his nose full of blood and rips the cape off completely. He narrows a gaze at you and stands himself up, and you have to admit he's handling his wounds better than you are. Especially when you try and sit without thinking about the damage to both of your wrists.

He looks down at you and your blood boils and then he directs the look to your crotch and you swallow the lump that rises in your throat and ignore the one in your pants.

“I don't beliewe you,” He steps forwards, leans over and grabs you by the hair forcing you to look up at him.

It isn't even the words that get to you, it's the condescending tone and the way he looks down his nose at you as if you're so utterly beneath him that fuels your anger, you're trapped again though and you're trying to formulate an escape, even if it's the cowards way out, even if you have to blast him across the room again and then run. A look crosses his face as if he's read your mind and the next thing you know the back of his hand as well as every stupid, showy ridiculous ring he wears collides with the side of your face.

No. Fuck no. You'll take the beating fair and square but you can't stomach his attitude and it fuels you, if he thinks you've given up you prove him wrong by sending him flying back down to the floor and using the last bits of the burst of psychic energy to end up on top of him instead. His cape is still wrapped around your leg and it drags through the puddle you're both in.

He laughs and it tips you over the edge because you can't stand seeing him being so fucking smug and this time when he kisses you you don't resist you just bite down on his bottom lip. Hard.

He rakes his fingers through your soaking hair and claws your scalp as you break his skin and pull back to spit his blood back onto him. He drags his nails down the back of your neck and you throw him completely down grinding your hips into his. He tears at your shirt and manages to pull it right up. You tug it roughly off, splitting one of the seams in the process and he bites down on your neck right above your pulse and you no longer care that you're giving him what he wants because you're too busy tearing the button off his trousers. You rip them and his underwear off using a combination of your bare hands and psionics to shred the fabric until he's underneath you with only one leg of his trousers still on. The rest lying in tatters around the pair of you.

He yanks your jeans down and throws them and the cape away with a wet sounding splat and you're shredding both his shirt and his flesh and biting whenever and where ever you can because the voices have finally faded to a background noise that you can block out because they're being deafened by the roar of your hormones.

Eridan grabs your crotch and presses his palm into you and you can't tell if it feels good or hurts so you hurt him back, ripping into his flesh with your nails and smashing your mouths violently together. He wraps both legs around your waist and pulls you closer and you're sure his arm is in an awkward position but he doesn't let go.

You get rid of his shirt in the same way as you did with his trousers and bite down on one of his fins which drags a moan from his bloodied lips and he tears your underwear away from your body finally moving his hand if only to grind your naked bodies together. You pull back and thrust into him disregarding any notions of the preparation that is probably needed for a man because frankly you enjoy it when his nails break the skin on your back and he screams.

“Sol,” he protests but you shut him up by crushing whatever he was about to say next with your mouth.

“Don't be a little bitch,” You hiss a reminder, “You wanted thith,”

And all he does in reply is moan as you slam yourself into him.

Not one to relinquish control Eridan soon has his legs wrapped back around you gripping you with his thighs and holding on so your thrusts are deeper as you continue to bite him indiscriminately, leaving purple welts and bloody teeth marks all over his skin.

You can feel Eridan getting close by the way his thighs start to tremble and you run your nails down them hard enough to leave tracks in his damp skin and he coats your stomach in thick lilac genetic fluid. You don't bother to pull out as you climax and when you do you rip a large chunk out of his shoulder with your mouth and then spit the blood and bits of skin back onto him.

He looks a complete state, you muse as you pull away and look at the puddle of lilac fluid on his stomach and your own pale yellow genetics dripping between his legs. You realise as you detangle his cape from your jeans and use it to wipe the stuff off yourself that you don't have a shirt left and that all of his clothing is in pieces except the half a leg of his trousers that's bunched up around one of his ankles and his shoes but you don't really give a fuck and you throw the remains of his soiled cape onto him before pulling your jeans on. You can't even see where your own shoes went when he pulled them off with your trousers and you don't care enough to find them. You do try to pull your glasses out of your jeans pocket but all that comes out is pieces of broken plastic.

“You'we ruined all my clothing,” Eridan whines and you throw a smirk back at him where he's sat naked with handfuls of material in his fists.

All you do is shrug and walk away leaving him on his own in the middle of the floor and wreckage from your fight.

After all; this is what he wanted.