Work Text:
”Help”, Dave deadpanned. Beside him, Terezi went from snickering to cackling madly. She was dressed in her usual garb, but covered in a white bed sheet with holes cut out for her eyes (for some reason) and horns. Beside her, the one and only Mr. Sunshine himself was grumbling from underneath his sheet (it was so obviously an act, Karkat adored John and would do pretty much anything asked of him, holy shit he was so obvious) and they both looked absolutely ridiculous. But yeah, Dave wasn't really one to talk since he was covered in a sheet too. With shades covering his eyes ("Your shades look absolutely ridiculous, bulgemuncher!") as always, but still.
This was the lesser of two evils, really. If John wanted to make a fool of himself in public he was free to do so, but like hell Dave was gonna be caught in an outfit so dorky it was nowhere near ironic. People from school frequented this mall, as Egbert had informed him with a gleeful look on his face. Weirdo.
His phone buzzed in his pocket.
GG: this is gonna be so great!!!! :D
Of course Jade would be pumped about this. Of fucking course. And Rose and Kanaya had gone along with it, tittering politely behind daintily raised hands even as they sketched out the outfits and took measurements. Surprisingly, Bro had agreed to convince the guy selecting what shitty Christmas carols would be played in the speakers to play the mix Dave had thrown together. Hell, Dave had gone along with it. Why had he gone along with it? Another buzz.
EB: hey man, are you ready to be awesome? hehe!
Oh. Right. John had a tendency to blatantly ignore obvious sarcasm (”Yeah, that sure sounds like fun. Fucking splendid idea, Egbert, not at all stupid.”) whenever he felt like it (”Awesome, man! I'll message Kanaya and Rose and see if they wanna help. You can ask Terezi to join, if you want, and-!”) and when Dave had tried to salvage the situation ("What, dude, no. That was a joke."), John's dejected look had defeated him immediatly ("All right, fine." "Yesss!").
TG: lets just get this over with
The music he had mixed (with some “helpful advice” from Jade, but really, he could've done it himself, seriously) started out creepy and mysterious or whatever, and the threesome went out into the big, open area at the centre of the mall, casually chilling and ignoring people's stares, with varying degrees of success. Karkat kind of looked like he was going to explode.
Dave looked up to the second floor, just to scope the area, and was met by the delightful sight of Captor and Megido grinning from ear to ear with a videocamera. Assholes. A little bit farther away, by the escalator, lounged Lalonde and Maryam. Sitting at the café nearby was Ampora and Peixes with Crocker, Zahhak and Leijon. They were looking at Dave and the two trolls with him, and seemed to be having a grand old time. Nitram and Makara were by the broken fountain in the middle of the hall, looking excited (or at least as close to “excited” Makara got). Horrible people, the whole lot of them.
The music changed into the familiar theme song of that ridiculous movie that he had watched far too many times at John's insistence (Dave would never tell John that he already had the song when he asked if Dave could make the music for this stupid dumb adventure, had downloaded it years ago, and kept it, just waiting to throw it into a casual mix just to please him), and he looked around, planning his escape route.
The entrance doors opened, and there they were, in all their Dorky Glory. From left to right, all dressed in the stupid overalls and equipped with the water guns they had painstakingly stayed up late many nights to design; Serket, Harley, English, and of course, Egbert. Ugh, this was going to suck for everyone involved.
They all looked around for a bit, “searching” for the “ghosts” while overacting something ridiculous. Dave rolled his eyes, waiting semi-patiently for Team Nerd to get on with it.
“Boo”, Vantas sighed.
“Boo”, Dave agreed.
Harley gasped dramatically and pointed at the troll-ghost standing ten feet away, in plain sight. A beat, and then Karkat swore under his breath, spun on his heel, and ran for it.
“Hey! Stop!” Just barely suppressing her giggles but not at all her shit-eating grin, Jade ran after him, firing her water gun at the frightened troll. Karkat quickened his pace. Dave didn't blame him; he would've too.
“Booo! Hehehe! Booo!”
“Hold it!”
And there Pyrope and Serket are off in their own world of not-at-all-black-why-would-you-think-that-you-silly-human oneupmanship, running at full speed between the laughing mall goers. Karkat ran past Dave again, followed closely by Jade, but Dave stayed put, glaring expectantly at the remaining "Ghostbusters". He tried his hardest to convey a why do you make me do this in John's direction. It didn't seem to have the desired effect. John glanced at Jake. Jake grinned back at him. Then they grinned at Dave, and raised their guns.
That's when Dave remembered that Jake had a killer aim. Shit.
Boy did he run like never before.
Afterwards, they ditched the outfits at English's place and had a pizza party which was just about acceptable until the very moment Jake grinned and held up Ghostbusters 2 in silent question.
Dave, of course, wouldn't admit that this was among the best days he'd ever spent with his friends even under torture.