Gokudera Hayato choked vehemently on air and he felt his right eye twitch in barely suppressed incredulity as he stared at the illusionist seated in front of him. Maybe he should’ve actually listened to the baseball idiot’s advice for once and actually went home today instead of hanging out at the mansion like a twittering imbecile…
“What the fuck, Rokudo?” Vongola Tenth’s right-hand man phrased eloquently, simultaneously cursing the illusionist bastard to the lowest pits of hell under his breath.
Mukuro smiled lovingly in return and Gokudera had the tempting urge to throw up on the custom-made upholstery of the Vongola Mansion’s sitting room. “I merely asked what kind of fruit Kyouya resembled in your opinion. So, what do you think?”
The Storm Guardian gaped like a fish. The Mist merely smiled innocently as if he had not just asked one of the most inane questions Gokudera has heard in his entire life.
“Why are you even asking me this?” Gokudera managed to choke out.
“Oh?” The bastard had the gall to feign shock. “I thought the right-hand man was supposed to listen to the famiglia?”
“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbled, looking forlornly at his empty glass. God, he needed a drink. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t exactly think of goddamn fruit when I see Hibari.” Which, of course, is true; seeing as Gokudera’s first thought when he sees the taciturn Cloud is to duck and take cover in case of flying projectiles; the Japanese man can be such a drama queen sometimes.
Only deranged bastards like Rokudo Mukuro would think of fruit when considering Hibari Kyouya.
Nevertheless, Mukuro looked somehow satisfied with his answer so Gokudera left it at that and almost heaved a sigh of relief.
“Hmmm...Is that so?” The other man inquired liltingly and Gokudera had a sudden gut-wrenching feeling that the conversation was going to go bad any minute now. “I’ve always thought that Kyouya was like an apple.”
What. The. Fuck.
“How the fuck is that sociopathic bastard an apple?” Because really? An apple? The best thing that Gokudera could liken to HibariKyouya would be a ticking time bomb or something prickly.
Like a hedgehog.
Or a pinecone.
“The apple is the forbidden fruit. It is temptation itself. It was what caused the fall of humanity from paradise…” Mukuro declared and Gokudera was thankful that he had converted to Buddhism.
“I didn’t ask you to recite the goddamn Genesis.”
“Kyouya is someone you can’t help but be tempted with—“
The silver-haired Italian blanched. “Excuse me, what?”
Mukuro afforded him a condescending look.
“You still want to fight Kyouya even though he’s beaten you countless times.” The Mist Guardian deadpanned.
“Obviously,” Gokudera replied easily. If there was one thing he respected about Hibari, it was the man’s strength. He knew that Hibari Kyouya was one of the Vongola Family’s prized members, and dare he say it, weapon. “It’s hard not to want to fight him especially when his strength grows exponentially every fucking time.” He confessed, albeit grudgingly.
“Exactly, he’s the apple you can’t help but bite into even though you know it’s poisoned.”
Gokudera raised an eyebrow; allusions to the Bible and Snow White? Rokudo needed a better pastime. “Right.”He conceded, resigning himself to humor the bastard just this once.
Of course, the silver-haired Italian needn’t have bothered since Mukuro appeared as to not have heard him and was currently holding up a newly conjured apple.
“See this apple? It’s perfect, red, and shiny, and you want nothing but to sink your teeth into its untainted flesh” A large bite mark appeared on the apple in demonstration, revealing stark white against red. “And you would still want to bite into it even with the knowledge that it is poisoned,” the illusory apple’s flesh turned acid green. “Just so you can have the satisfaction of marring and destroying something so perfect and proud.”
The apple fell to the carpeted floor with a muffled ‘thump’ and Gokudera watched it dissolve into nothingness.
“Now, do you understand, Gokudera Hayato?”
He turned to face Mukuro with a disbelieving look, “Understand what?”
“How Kyouya is like an apple.”
Gokudera heaved a sigh and silently offered a prayer to the heavens. God knows he wasn’t being paid enough to deal with idiotic bastards. Especially idiotic bastards like Rokudo Mukuro.
“The only thing I gathered from your little demonstration, aside from the fact that you are an idiot, is that you are a disillusioned sodomite”
Mukuro gave him a blank look before breaking off in peals of insane laughter. “Kufufu…it really was a good idea to have this conversation with you, Gokudera-kun.”
“Right.” Gokudera cringed at the overly familiar honorific. “One last piece of advice, bastard.”
“Oh? What would that be?”
Vongola Decimo’s right-hand man stood up and made his way towards the door. “Taking out your sexual frustrations on fruit doesn’t work; it just makes you more demented than you already are.”