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Lethe

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The night was dark and warm around Sam.  A single streetlight stood at the end of the bridge, casting down a warm yellow light. A single car raced by, windows down, music blasting.

“-OME TURN TO DUST AND TO GOLD! BUT YOU WILL REMEMBER ME! REMEMBER ME FOR CENTURIES!” The speakers of the speeding red Mustang sang as it raced down the street, its occupants obviously had somewhere to be.

Sam was alone with his thoughts, and think he did. He was consumed with the feeling of worthlessness, of self-hatred, of being completely, utterly, alone in the world.

He felt used, abused, and alone, he put everything he had into everything he did and in return he received nothing. He was pathetic, a pathetic toy for the demons to play with, and Lucifer…

He brought Lucifer, Satan, the Devil, the epitome of absolute evil, he brought him back into the world…

Oh god… when did his life decide to got to shit? He had a plan, a girlfriend, he was going to Stanford, on full ride, to get a Law degree for fucks sake! He was going to be normal, where did he go wrong?

Tears running down his face, he laughed bitterly to himself, “When good ol’ yellow eyes decided to bleed into my mouth and kill my mother.”  He thought.

A strange small voice that sounded suspiciously like his brothers retorted, “Or maybe when you decided to start hanging around with that Ruby bitch, or when you started drinking her blood?” It teased and taunted him, re-opening the still fresh wounds.

He was a monster, god… It was true…

Sam was just as bad as any monster that he and Dean killed, there was no way to deny it.

“How can you run from what’s inside you?” The words of his younger self haunted him as he looked into the water below him.

He and Dean had come to this town following the newspaper articles of people disappearing near the river, as it turned out the Shabogin river was actually the modern day counterpart of the ancient River Lethe, the river that crossed the Greek underworld. It had the power to drown people, to let them die in peace, wiping away their memories of life, and taking away the threat of Hell or Heaven. If you died in the river Lethe, you would truly die in peace, never to feel the sting of your soul moving on.

Sam stared down at the churning liquid darkness below, and with one final act of courage, he hefted himself onto the railing, and let himself fall down, down, down…

 

Sam Winchester died with a smile gracing his face, all remembrances of times gone past forever erased from his mind, whether they were bad, or good.