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2015-01-12
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The C-Steppers

Summary:

As Juliet coaches Shawn and Gus for their appearance on American Duos, both men decide to set their caps for her, but the tangle between the three of them runs more deeply than either man understands - at first.

Notes:

I originally wrote this for your Holly Poly assignment but was forced to default at the last minute - I finished the story post-deadline and am submitting it to you as an independent gift. Hope you enjoy it!

This is set during the episode "American Duos," from season 2.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was a sweltering morning. Shawn could feel moisture being leached out his body, the sun mercilessly . That’s probably why Juliet decided to throw a rehearsal in the park.

She somehow managed to stay cool even though he and Gus were totally dying. “Follow me,” demanded Juliet. She stomped her feet and stared at the boys as they stumbled through the routine she’d written for them. “You’re moving on the D! I NEED C STEPPERS. NOW.”

“Don’t you make fun of the good name of C-Steppers!” cried Gus as he struggled to follow her. “We’re lean, we’re mean and we’re gonna eat your lunch!”

“What in the world are the C-Steppers?” Juliet asked helplessly.

“That’s what Gus is calling our troupe in his mind,” Shawn shrugged.

Juliet rolled her eyes. “All right, I want to see you sparkling and up in two seconds. I have to go wring out my bandanna and splash some water on my armpits.”

With that, Juliet stomped away into the bathroom, leaving Gus and Shawn to watch her make tracks. Gus raised an eyebrow and hummed.

“Why is there humming? Why do you need to hum?” Shawn asked. “You…no way, you are not humming at Juliet!”

“I’ll hum where I want to hum, Shawn. I’m a strong, independent man who can enjoy the sight of a pretty girl who wants to rip my liver out because I can’t Madison. That gal’s one tall blonde drink of hot water,” Gus said, raising his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t mind snuggling up to her armpits…”

“Eww, Gus. Gone with the eww. And stop crushing on my girl Jules!”

“YOUR girl?”

“Juliet is MY lobster, Gus! Go find a nice plate of edamame of your own! Maybe a plate of fava beans or a nice Chianti!”

Gus hissed at Shawn, full-on Lectreing it, and Shawn playfully nudged his best friend. It was impossible to stay mad at him after everything they’d faced together. His hand even lingered playfully for a second or two on his friend’s back – just a second, though. A totally cool, manly second.

Juliet was wet-haired and furious looking as she stomped her way out of the bathroom. “All right,” she growled. “On the ten. And this time, no jazz hands until I say so!”

“Got it mon capitaine,” said Shawn.

“Hey Shawn,” said Gus, “I think this is working my lower lumbar problem out!” Then he enthusiastically twisted too far to the side and grabbed his lower back with a whimper.

Shawn noticed his friend’s pain right away and rushed to help him but it took Juliet a moment to notice they weren’t dancing, turn around and try to assess the situation. “What did you do? I TOLD YOU TO STRETCH, GUS.”

“I did stretch!” Gus whined. “I even put my feet on my head! I don’t know why it hurts.”

“Okay, Shawn, grab Gus’ shoulder.” Juliet dropped to her knees and grabbed Gus’ thigh.

“What what are you doiiiing?!” Gus’ shout ended on a high-pitched whine of pain. But his expression changed just as quickly. “Pain…fading into a sort of flexy-bouncy feeling?” he raised his eyebrow. “I can move!” Gus proceeded to wiggle his hips.

Juliet raised an eyebrow – being eye-level with his junk was apparently a boon of some kind, though Shawn had yet to partake in that apparently breathtaking experience. She coughed and got up. “Okay, guys, back to work.”

“I love it when you get all pushy,” Shawn said – and received a sweaty headband right to the face.

 

***

 

“I’ve got it, Gus!”

Gus looked up from the pile of papers he’d spread out over the table. “So have I!” Gus said, pointing to a single document set out before him. “The toxicology report just came back on those toothpicks.”

“Good, but that’s not the it I have.”

“What sort of it’re you talking about, Shawn?” Gus eyebrowed.

“The one for the it,” Shawn said.

“….You’d better not be talking about…”

“I’ve finally figured out a way to get Jules to notice me!” Shawn said. “I’m going to learn how to do a flawless robot.”

“Shawn…”

“Beep boop,” Shawn replied. “I have come from this planet to rock. Your. World.”

Gus rubbed his temples, an expression of agitation marring his features. “I don’t know if Jules would be into that. I mean, she looked pretty interested in me yesterday. And besides that, I learned how to belly dance for her.”

“Gus, my sweet scoop of syllabub,” Shawn chuckled. “You just don’t know how to read those ladytype social cues, do you?”

Gus raised his eyebrow. “Shawn, I happen to be fluent in the sensual art of speaking lady, and everything Juliet’s throwing in my direction paints a big old yes on her heart.”

“You’re starting to talk in Sondheim,” Shawn declared. “Come on, Gus, let’s not make this some big weird competition thing. Why don’t we both just try to figure out who Juliet likes without stepping on each other?”

“Fine,” grumped Gus. “But if she picks me you’d best step off , Shawn.”

 

***

 

It was funny how life and death circumstances tended to bring real emotions out in people. Like clinging together in a dressing room waiting for somebody to stab them through a door.

“Gus, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Shawn yelled. “But I think the whole reason I’ve been so pushy about this Jules thing is ‘cause I’m afraid if you fall in love with her, I’ll lose you both.”

“Love?!” Gus replied. “It’s a little early to be talking about love – and even if I maybe sort of love Jules, you’re the only person here I’m in love with…so far.”

Shawn beamed. “Aww, Gus, do you mean it?”

“There’s a knife two inches from my kidney,” said Gus, “I really, really mean it.” They held hands, then – it was just a second’s brief passing moment, but it was a meaningful gesture.

Gunfire sounded from outside of the door, and both men scrambled toward the door, calling Juliet’s name. The blonde cop looked up - she stood in the hallway, holding a familiar face at gunpoint, cuffing him with her bare hands.

“JULES!” both men shouted. Shawn immediately started dancing the robot and Gus started belly dancing for her. She squinted at them, confused, furious-looking. Then they were both bowled over by Lassiter, who came to cuff the perp.

“Good work, O’Hara…Spencer and Guster…keep doing what you’re doing. It’s less obtrusive this way.”

The boys robot’d their way all the way outside, where Juliet met them.

“Guys, we need to talk,” she said.

“No need, Juliet – let us show you our feelings through the clever art of dance!”

She shook her head. “This is about last night, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Maybe…but…MAYBE NOT!” called Gus.

Juliet shook her head. “Guys, you don’t have to compete with each other. You don’t have

“But if we don’t do this we’ll never figure out which of us you love! While we love each other.” Shawn jerked his head in happy tune with Gus’ beatboxing. “Loveception, baby!”

“Well, maybe I like both of you,” Juliet said. “And maybe I don’t want to have to choose between you!”

Shawn stutter-stopped. “This is working out way better than I though it would,” he confessed.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna punch him?” Gus asked.

She pecked his cheek, and then grabbed Shawn’s hand. “Nope. You may be a couple of pains in the butt but you’re MY pains in the butt from here on out.”

Gus started beatboxing again and then – as a well-synchronized group – they all started dancing. None of them had any idea where the future was going to take them, but they were happy to realize that they were going there together.

Notes:

This fanfiction uses characters from Psych, all of whom are the property of the USA Network. No money was earned from the writing of this piece of fanfiction, and the author makes no legal claim upon the characters within.