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Hey Moron

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“Hey moron, you’re late.”

“Whatever Gary, let’s just go.” Jimmy said, wiping his palms on his trousers. Gary snickered at him.

Jimmy walked up to the admission ticket boot, the carnival was in town once again, he could hear the sound of the wild rides and smell cotton candy and popcorn.

“One dollar.” The cashier, a woman with a blond ponytail wearing a pink shirt, looked at him. She looked extremely bored as she chewed on her gum.
Taking the ticket he entered the carnival with Gary.

“Remind me why am I doing this again?” The auburn haired boy asked. Gary smirked walking as he spoke. “Because we’ve got nothing else to do and because it’s fun to watch all these idiots walking around with their dates playing boring games just so they can buy presents that will ultimately not help them get to second base, now run along Jim, I’ve got an idea.”

“Okay. What is it?” Jimmy followed him until the other boy stopped and turned to him.

“Hold my hand.” The brunette said, already reaching for Jimmy’s hand.

“What?! Hell no!” He slapped Gary’s hand and pushed his arms out getting some distance.

“C’mon Jimmy! I saw you with Trent and Gord and you know, all the other hundreds of boys who live in Bullworth, this is nothing new to you.” Gary stepped closer to him as Jimmy stepped backwards.

“So what? Doesn’t mean I’m going to hold /your/ hand.”

“Oh I see, I am not attractive enough for you. Would you rather have Eunice hold your hand?”

“Actually yeah, and it’s not about being attractive. I don’t see any reason to do it. You aren’t even gay. In fact, I’ve heard you told everyone that /I/ was the one sexually confused.”

“That was weeks ago! I was just playing around! Now hold my hand or I swear to Petey I’ll just spread around that you have erectile dysfunction.”

“Sheesh, whatever man.” Jimmy grabbed Gary’s hand in his, he felt an electric current run in his arm. Slightly disgusted with his reaction he turned his head away from Gary.

“Aw, are you blushing?” Gary’s infuriating tone made him roll his eyes. “You wish. Now what /this/” He said, pointing to looking pointedly to their hands. “Has to do with your plan?”

“Everything, my moronic friend. My plan is to study people’s reaction.” Jimmy glared at him. “Just for shits and giggles.”

“And I should help you with this because….?” The ginger asked skeptically.

“Because” Gary huffed impatiently, “Anyone else but you wouldn’t be fun, everyone knows we hate each other. Just imagine the dumb looks on their faces as they see us all lovey-dovey.”

Jimmy nodded, still skeptical “Okay. But don’t think for a second that I’m enjoying this.”

“Marvelous, James dearest, it’s going to be fun, mark my words.” And with that Gary started pulling his hand, walking to the entrance of the rides.

As they entered Jimmy spotted Lola and Johnny, Gord, Pinky, Zoe and even Trent and Kirby walking around. He blanched when he saw Zoe, his now ex girlfriend walking up to buy some popcorn. They ended up in good terms, it was just that being King of the school ended up being too much responsibility that Zoe didn’t want weighed on top of her. Still, he couldn’t deny that he ached a little at remembering the good old days with Zoe.

“So, who would you like to see us first Jimmy?” Gary whispered close to his ear, so close in fact that Jimmy almost jumped when he felt the boy’s lips touch the shell of his ear.

“Do that again and I’ll slit your throat.”

“Ooh so threatening.” Gary teased, he then looked at the direction the other boy was staring. Smirking devilishly he understood what he had to do. “I see, Zoe it is then. Let’s give your ex a show of some skin ship shall we?”

“Skin what?” Gary kept pulling at his hand walking them closer to popcorn cart, Jimmy let himself be pulled wondering what the heck was going on. Zoe was just around the cart, if she looked across the cart she would be able to see them. Since it was dark and they were between carnival stalls the chances of being seen by any other than Zoe would be slim. “Perfect.” Gary muttered, and before Jimmy could understand what he meant he was being pinned to a wooden picket by his two arms. Shame and anger started building up inside him “What the fuck, Gary?” He hissed.

“Just follow my lead.” The other boy said into the ginger’s ear before he gave it a weak bite.

Jimmy forced his eyes closed at that. Gary put his lips onto the surface of his collarbone, sucking slightly. Little did he know Jimmy’s weak spot was just there. The touch triggered a gasp out of him. His arms broke free from Gary’s grasp and went to his shoulders, intending on pushing him away.

That gasp didn’t go unnoticed by the other boy that simply sucked harder, his hands going to the boy’s hips holding him there in a strong grasp. His lips moved up to his neck, kissing it open mouthed.

It was weird how it gave Gary felt such a sense of power, power over Jimmy. He thought as he felt the boy squirm slightly under him. The taste of sweat was salty on his tongue but surprisingly to him, it wasn’t as disgusting as he thought it to be, it was in fact just the contrary, intoxicating maybe, in a way that most aphrodisiacs are. /Hell, if this keeps going I might even end up liking it./, He could hear the other boy’s breathing getting erratic, and just when he was reaching close to his jaw---

A gasp that had to be Zoe’s. Some popcorn fell to the ground.

“Holy shit! what the hell, Jimmy?!” Gary immediately stopped and turned around, the look on Zoe’s face was priceless. Oh the indignation and surprise, is that a hint of disgust? Gary just couldn’t help but cover his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh. He then looked at Jimmy, and this time he couldn’t stop the giggle that came out.

Jimmy, all flustered and with that stupid look on his face a mist of anger, surprise and lust. It was just too good.

“And Gary?!”

“Guilty as charged, ma’am, and, isn’t it considered rude to interrupt someone’s date?”

“Shut up Gary, Zoe this isn’t what it looks like.”

“No no no, trust me. This is /exactly/ what it looks like.” Gary continued to savor their reactions.

“Do I even want to know?” Zoe said “Uh, no. Uhm, Jimmy you’re free to date whoever you like, but Gary? I thought you hated him, he manipulated you! That’s just sick.”

“Aw that’s all in the past now, right Jimmy? Good old days that won’t ever return. You can’t judge our love!”

Zoe put one hand on her waist, skeptical. “Is this a prank, a joke?”

Jimmy wanted to say something, so Gary just talked over him

“Ye—“ “Of course not, do you want to see more?” Gary said, already turning to Jimmy once again.

“Hell no, alright, I’m leaving. Just, I wasn’t expecting this from you, Hopkins.”

“Yeah me neither.” Jimmy muttered as she left them.

“So, whaddya think?” Gary slapped a hand onto the boy’s shoulder.

“You call this fun? I’m out, that was humiliating.”

“Oh c’mon, it wasn’t that bad.”

“No Gary, it was /that/ bad.”

“Well, I found it funny. You see, my friend. You need to act more into it. Or else it will only be funny for me.”

“What do you mean more into it?” Jimmy walked up to him, glaring.

“I mean exactly the opposite of what you did, duh. Pretend you’re enjoying it, make them embarrassed, make them horny.”

“What? No! There’s no way I can pretend that. Also, what you just did, /you/ seemed to be enjoying it quite a lot, a lot more than someone ‘pretending’ would.”

“Shut up, that was just acting.”

“Uh huh.” Jimmy crossed his arms.

“You were the one gasping, stupid. ‘Oh Gary’” He said in a girly falsetto “Gary, there! Suck harder yes!’”

“I didn’t say any of that.”

“Maybe you didn’t, but Hell, I bet ten bucks you were thinking it.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes and then waved him off. “Goodbye Gary.” He couldn’t handle any more of his bullshit so he started walking away.

“Okay, okay!” Gary went after him. “Look, just do as I said before. They’ll fall for it and no one will be embarrassed except for them.”

“Why are you so persistent about this?” He turned to look at Gary, not understanding.

Gary, surprised, stood erect. “I don’t know, I’m bored.”



“That’s all?” The boy put his hands on his waist.

“What do you even mean with that, James?” Gary felt his anger flare up.

“Because to me it just looks like you’re planning against me, or heck, trying to seduce me or something.”

“Seduce you? Why would I ever want to seduce an oaf like you?!” He looked incredulous to Jimmy.

“I don’t know, weren’t you the one sucking on my neck a minute ago?”

“You’re just taking things out of the context, friend. Keep your delusions to yourself! Like I would ever--”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’ve heard you. Okay. Let’s do what you say.”


“Yeah, don’t get used to it.” Jimmy went up to him and grabbed his hand, this time, he was the one pulling on his hand. He spotted Trent and Kirby leaving the merry-go-round hand in hand.
He waited for them to choose the next attraction, Trent pointed at the Freak Show.

“That’s our cue.” Jimmy let go of Gary’s hand and ran to the Freak Show Tent, Gary following right behind him. They got there before the pair. Red surrounded them, it was dark, the only light coming from the lights emanating from the few yellow light bulbs and from the glass ‘separating’ the human attractions from the visitants.

“Oh I have to admit this is pretty smart of you Jimmy, now all we have to do is wait.” Gary said as he went to loiter.

“I’m calling the shots here now, Gary.”

“Oh yea-?!” Gary started sarcastically but was interrupted by Jimmy turning tables on him, being straddled against the glass. The huge woman behind him waved at Jimmy but otherwise ignored them.

Gary felt lips on his jaw, goosebumps went down his spine and he thought “Fuck” he heard from beside them. It was his weak spot, Jimmy certainly noticed that as he continued even though Trent and Kirby were right there staring at them.

He felt a flare of lust. Jimmy’s lips kissed the corner of his mouth, grazing his lower lip lightly before moving to his ear, sucking his earlobe. Gary’s eyes closed. “You’re gasping like a little bitch.”  

“No, I’m not.” He whispered slowly with ragged breathing, enjoying the boy’s ministrations.

Jimmy’s hand slid down Gary’s arm, going down the side of his chest to stop by the hip, holding him. Kissing and nibbling slightly the side of the brunette’s neck.

/Oh if you think I’m just going to let you manhandle me in front of them, you have another thing coming Jimmy boy./

Gary’s arm that was now free from the boy’s grasp went to Jimmy’s waist and down to grab one of his buttocks.

“Okay, that’s enough.” He could hear Trent walking up to them and suddenly he was being punched in the stomach.

Gary got punched by Trent while Kirby looked stunned and confused. Jimmy managed to hold his laugh only until Gary groaned from the floor, holding his belly. Trent looked at him, his eyes were angry and hurt. /Oh man./

“Let’s just leave, Kirby. This place is full.” Trent put his arm around the other boy, but he still focused on Jimmy while he left the tent.

Looking down on Gary he somehow managed to control his laughter. “You were right Gary.” He held a hand for the other boy. “That was pretty funny.” Gary didn’t take it, instead he slapped his hand away, getting up on his own.

“Ha ha /ha/.” He laughed humorlessly he shoved Jimmy once. “Wasn’t expecting you ex boyfriend making a move on even with a date by his side.”

“Yeah I didn’t imagine he was that possessive either.”

“Okay.” Gary said, looking down to his watch. “It’s almost closing time, do you want to try pranking someone else?”

“Alright, one more.”

“Who then? Any preference?”

“I guess Johnny and Lola are probably fucking six ways till Sunday in some bathroom stall by now.”

“No doubt about it, unless they are bickering over who did her instead.”

“Let’s just walk around and see if we find someone then.”

“We should go on a ride while we are at it.” Jimmy stared at Gary, brow raised.

“What? We’ve been here for a while and so far we didn’t go anywhere.”

“Sure, we should try the Ferris wheel. Want me to buy you a teddy bear as well?”

“Oh Jimmy that would be so nice of you.” Gary rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his voice in poisonous levels. Leaving the tent only a few people were still at the carnival, Beatrice, Algie, Melvin and Bucky were still around, Pinky and Gord were hanging out hand in hand, he could see a huge stuffed cat below the boy’s arm.

“Only the boring ones are still here.” Gary said and Jimmy nodded.

“Wanna try some games? I need tickets for my scooter.”

“Whatever.” Gary said but followed the other boy anyway.

Starting from the shooting range both gave it a try, the gun wasn’t too heavy and once he started shooting he didn’t miss one shot, Gary on the other hand hit the girl 5 times. “No wonder they call you a sociopath, shooting whatever went in front of you like that.”

“Shut up Jimmy, what does your accuracy tell about you huh? I can see it in your future, the bars of the prison.”

“Maybe they’ll let us share a cell.” Gary smirked at that.

“High striker or splish splash?” Jimmy gives him the next options.

“Do you realize how dumb you sounded just now?”

“You prefer drown the midget or hammer?”

“Hm” Gary makes a big show of pretending to think hard over this. “Midget first.”

“You just have to hit the bullseye, stupid, is it that hard?”

“C’mon hit me, are you blind?!” The midget kept taunting at Gary. “Oh I want to hit you alright. Jimmy, hold these balls would you?” Handing over the balls, the other boy just raised a brow at him as he punched the bullseye, sending the midget into the water.

“Such patience.”

“Yes, Jimmy, you have no fucking idea.”

“That was only your third try.”

“Three times is just too many.”

“If you say so.” Jimmy dropped the balls and stepped beside the other boy “Come with me.” Grabbing him by the wrist he pulled him to the front of the Prize Tent.

“Wait here for a bit would you?” The ginger said before entering.

Gary stood outside with his arms crossed, his foot tapping the ground as he waited.

Jimmy came out of the tent with a teddy bear, it had a green bow around its neck and was wearing Bullworth vest. He throws it to Gary. “There you go, princess. Feeling any better?”

“Oh James I’ve always wanted one of these!” He dramatized, voice in a girly falsetto as he hugged the bear.

“Good. Now let’s go. Also, you throw that away and I’ll shove it down your throat, I’ve wasted thirty tickets on this shit.”

“What a waste of tickets.” Gary said, as he observed the bear closely.

“No shit.”

“I’ll name it Smopkins, we could make it our love child.” He teased.

“Yeah whatever, Gary.”       

Exiting the carnival, Jimmy was pushed to the wall by Gary who once again tried to pin him. /Not this time you won’t/ grabbing hold of his hands he pulled him forward slightly, Gary was shocked when he felt the ginger’s lips on his. But the other boy didn’t step back, instead he gripped the boy tightly keeping him there, while he moved his lips slowly.

Gary’s eyelids slowly closed as he let himself kiss Jimmy back, open mouthed and deep. Tasting and exploring. Jimmy let go of his hands and put them on his waist, pulling him closer until their chests were touching. The brunette, held onto his back and shoulders.

Parting for breathing Jimmy soon started to peck Gary’s neck, sometimes biting it. Until he reached his jaw, kissing the sensitive spot he found earlier. It was at that point that Gary started panting, his almost moans were driving him insane.

He could feel his lust rising to astounding levels. Their lips collided once more, this time it was rougher than before, Jimmy couldn’t stop himself from sucking the boy’s tongue. Their teeth sometimes clinked together, sweat on the ginger’s upper lip would taint the kiss with its salt. He could taste coffee on Gary’s mouth. It wasn’t bitter and it wasn’t sweet but somehow there wasn’t anything he would rather taste in that moment.

Gary’s hand slid to the front of Jimmy’s pants feeling the tent on his trousers. Jimmy choked back a moan onto Gary’s neck.

“Hah… you moron… you’re hard… because of this..?” He said breathing erratically. Jimmy slapped the hand away from his hard on.

“Look… who is… talking” He grinded on the brunette, hearing the other boy’s gasp he did it again and again.

Gary started sucking the ginger’s collarbone to keep his mouth shut.

“Fuck.” He heard Jimmy breathlessly in his ear. Jimmy wished he could get out of his trousers right now, it was the heat he wouldn’t be able to this take much longer.

“Yes please.”

Gary woke up with a start in his room. It was still night.

“What the fuck did they change in my medication?” he mumbled to himself, pulling the covers to cover his shoulders and turning to sleep on his side.

Something falls to the floor. A thump so soft Gary didn’t even hear.

On the floor lies a teddy bear with a green bow around its neck, wearing a Bullworth vest.