Roy never should have told Robin where he lived, a little two bedroom apartment in the nicer side of town mainly occupied by elderly women to invested in bingo to notice his unusual schedule. When the kid had asked he had assumed that it would be filed away as an interesting fact and never brought up again. Instead Roy couldn't walk in his own front door without being bombarded with unwanted company.
In his civilian clothes Roy bound up the stairs two at a time already knowing his door would be unlocked and Robin would be sprawled on his furniture. The only hope he had was that if he hurried he could save what little junk food he allowed himself from the kid's bottomless stomach.
Bracing himself at the doorway Roy had to resist the urge to bludgeon himself when he heard hurried scuffling and warnings that he's home. "I can hear you two in there."
Silence. Roy tried not to imagine what had them so worried about him coming home. Then a sarcastic voice, "Well it's your apartment. Why don't you come in?"
Good point. Roy barged in without a second thought. Surprisingly the entryway was still intact, probably because Robin always used the window, and the kitchen on the left was as cleanish as Roy left it. The living room on the other hand…
"Why are there two of you?"
Wally smiled and waved a hand from where he was draped across the couch with Robin squished on the end. "It's ok; Superboy and Meghan are acting all lovey-dovey so Robin said we could hide out here."
Roy glared at the boy wonder who at least managed to look sheepish. "Robin said? This is my apartment! I don't care what Robin says. Get out!"
The two boys immediately started protesting. "Come on! You can't send us back there, it's gross. Don't you remember when any or your teammates dated?"
On and on it went until Roy relented, "Fine. Stay here. But get off my couch while I watch a movie."
To happy to protest being kicked onto the floor Robin and Wally sat through some action packed flick Roy didn't want to watch, ate all his food and then left sometime after midnight. Roy got ready for bed with a sense of dread deep in his stomach.
It turned out to be a good warning. Night after night Robin and Wally invaded his house with the excuse of avoiding any romance and completely ignored the fact that they weren't welcome. One night Roy even had the bright idea to point something out as Robin was ordering a pizza online. "If you're all so grossed out by Superboy and Meghan why isn't Artemis and Aqualad here?"
He had meant to find out the real reason he couldn't get any privacy but Robin chose to take it at face value. "I don't think Aqualad minds too much. Poor Artemis though, she really hates it."
And so Roy was burdened with another member of Young Justice. Artemis was just as bad as the other two, constantly rummaging through his stuff and complaining about his taste in music and movies. "Then get your own," he muttered. Soon his cabinets were jammed with cheesy kung-fu movies and what could only be described as that sound his ears make while they bleed. He drew the line at her scheming to replace the sparse furniture, invasion aside all he had ever needed was a couch, TV, shelf, basic kitchen appliances and his bedroom was off limits anyways so it didn't matter what he kept in there. Roy had a second location for his Red Arrow activities that he was more determined than ever to keep a secret now.
Half-hearted attempts at throwing them out aside Roy knew it was good for the team to get away from their strict supervision. He just wished they would find somewhere else; especially since he had become the go to guy to complain to.
Roy texted Batman one day after Robin had made a point to visit on his own, "You should talk to him."
He never received an answer but something must have reached him because Robin kept coming back to confide in him. Roy did his best, remembering that age and wanting to prove himself to his mentor. Of course he had been replaced in the end but whatever.
It was after Roy started buying extra groceries that he woke up to find Wally staring at him about two inches from his face. "Good morning."
He got in one good whack to the back of his head before Wally was on the other side of the room. "Whoa. Calm down would ya? I just needed some advice…"
"My door is locked for a reason! Why don't any of you ever get that," Roy yelled. "Go outside and tell the other two to get out of here."
Wally actually withered a little under Roy's glare but made no move to leave. Instead he went for a look of desperation, "I'm here alone. Please can we talk? I think I screwed up something really bad…" He trailed off and Roy couldn't just ignore him.
Sighing Roy threw back his blankets. "Fine. Give me a minute to get dressed and you better go make coffee." That bought Roy an entire half minute to throw on a shirt and pull some jeans on before Wally was knocking on his door again. "Is the coffee done?"
"Then wait," Roy grumbled before stumbling into the bathroom for his usual routine minus the shower. He was annoyed at having to wake up earlier than usual but he wasn't cruel, Wally had looked like he was going to crawl out of his skin. Roy had Flash's phone number somewhere but decided against texting for now. That didn't mean that there wasn't already a text when he checked, "U seen Wally? He wanted to talk but changed his mind."
Roy stuffed the phone into his pocket and headed into the living room, he'd answer when he had some actual insight. Which shouldn't take long if Wally nervously twitching on his couch was any indication. Roy sighed but still headed towards the coffee maker, if he wanted to check out that Coatery base he needed to get this over with. "Ok Wally, what is so important that you can't tell anyone else you know or wait an hour?" And it had better be important.
The reply was wavering and Roy almost couldn't hear it over the sound of coffee cups clinking together as he looked for the right one. "I think this is like, a face to face conversation ya know?"
Fine. Caffeine in hand Roy was standing in front of Wally soon enough. "There. Now what is it Wally?" It looked like he was actually going to do something besides chew on his bottom lip for a few moments until Wally threw his arms in frustration and sunk into the couch. Roy was not impressed as he took a patient drink. "You're going to have to speak up over the awkward fumbling unless you want to act out what happened."
That certainly got a reaction out of Wally, sitting up again and panicked protests, "No! No, that's ok I'll talk. Just no recreating anything alright?"
Interesting, Roy hadn't been serious but it got a response. "Sure. Now what happened?" Wally silently became several shades redder and Roy started to hope that Black Canary was right when she said Superboy and Meghan hadn't gotten beyond, "Mushy infatuation," and that Wally hadn't seen any of it.
Eventually Wally managed to say something, "Would you stop looming over me? It's kinda hard to spill my guts out to someone staring down at me."
"Have you tried talking to Black Canary? She has a couch and everything, you know because it's her job to be the confident?" Complaining aside Roy still sat down where he was in front of the couch. "Now you're the one doing to 'looming'. So you had better spit it out before I toss you out the door."
"Ikissedsomeone." Confession out in the open Wally hunched over with his head in his arms. Roy was far from impressed.
"That's it?" No wrecked cars to hide from Batman or ancient artifacts of doom in need of recovering? Roy was moving to stand up and show Wally the front door, "Artemis is crazy about you so just go talk to her."
"It wasn't her! Ew, she's my sister or something." Now Roy could understand some of the nervous twitching.
He sat back down and waited until Wally could look at him from between his arms. "Just talk to Superboy, tell him it was a mistake and he won't kill you for kissing his girlfriend. Get Aqualad to help you he's supposed to be the leader."
"It wasn't Meg." Roy waited all of five seconds for Wally to spit it out before his patience wore down too much. He wasn't going to force himself to imaging every possible scenario and run through the list of every possibility with Wally.
Leaving the mug on the floor Roy hoisted himself up and headed for the front door. Opening it he pointed outside, "Wally, believe it or not I have something to do besides babysit you all day. So tell me or get out."
Wally was staring at him over the couch in an instant, "Please! Just give me a minute ok, this is weirdest, most embarrassing moment of my life!"
Roy shut the door and headed into the kitchen. Anyone else, he swore, and they would have been kicked out the moment they wandered into his bedroom. But this was a kid in over his head that for some bizarre reason saw him as the only person he could turn to. Roy started pulling ingredients from a cupboard. "You have until the pancakes are done."
Blessed silence followed and Roy took the calm moment to pull out his phone and text the team's current babysitter and Flash, "Wally is here. Don't expect him today." Then everything was more or less automated because Roy may be a poor cook but pancakes aren't exactly rocket science.
It's when he has the syrup out and a couple of plates that Wally moves to the breakfast bar separating the kitchen and living room. When a stack of pancakes is placed in front of the kid it seems like the joy of food is going to snap Wally out of his funk until he takes a bite and looks at Roy in disbelief. "Dude, how can someone make terrible pancakes?"
Roy is too busy pulling a protein shake from the fridge to roll his eyes. "Just get back to the terrible awkward teenage romance."
"Ya know I think you're a teenager to." Roy doesn't elaborate and Wally only braves a few more bites before pushing his plate forward and slumping in his chair. "Promise ya won't tell? Or say anything?"
"Wally I have to say something since you came to me I'm guessing to talk about it. But no, I won't tell anyone." Roy finds the cabinet with a missing knob and leans against it facing Wally. "Well?"
Nervous twitching and then Wally finally spits it out. "Robin! Ok? We were beating up some thugs in a warehouse all alone `cause the others had somewhere else to be. Then we were done and he was saying something and-and I kissed him!"
Wally looked at Roy expectedly for a few tense moments before he couldn't hold in it anymore. Roy laughed, eventually having to lean over and clutch his sides in an attempt to catch his breath while Wally spluttered in shock. "That's-" deep breathes, "that's it? I thought you tried to pull a move on Captain Marvel or something the way you were acting. Robin?" Roy couldn't continue; he had to keep laughing. Maybe it was a bit cruel judging by how Wally was staring at him in complete horror.
"I kind of hate you. Yeah, I totally do." Roy finally got his breathing under control and shrugged.
"Sorry, I just," Roy needed the distraction of another cup of coffee to keep himself from laughing again, "Are you worried about Batman?" That would scare Roy even but Wally had Flash to smooth things over.
Roy heard a thunk loud enough to warrant him setting the coffee pot down and turning to see Wally with his head against the counter. "I'm dead! Deader than dead! I didn't even think about what Batman's going to do to me." Wally quickly descended into despaired moaning and Roy was about five seconds from joining him.
Patience. He could do this, carefully Roy moved until he was close enough to push Wally back into a sitting position. "Batman isn't going to do anything because he doesn't care. And no one is going to care that you kissed a boy. Yeah, things are going to be a little awkward but that's how it always is when you get shot down."
Wally seemed better, or at least he didn't immediately fall over when Roy took his hand off his shoulder. "You're sure?"
"Robin won't hate me?"
Wally eyed him skeptically, "You sure? I mean, what would you do is some guy kissed you?"
At this point Roy wasn't sure what he would do if anyone kissed him it had been so long. But he wasn't going to tell Wally that. "That's not important, what did Robin do?"
That got him a wide eyed stare and nothing else. A sudden realization hit Roy, "Is that why you were here so damn early? You just kissed him and ran?" If Wally said yes…Roy might have to throw him out a window.
Wally said yes and dashed back to the couch before Roy could get a hand on him. "What was I supposed to do?"
"Talk to him you idiot! How do you even know this is some terrible disaster?" Roy only made it one step towards Wally before the idiot red head was locking himself in the bathroom and Roy rushed to pound on the door. "You are not staying in my bathroom Wally. If I have to bust down my own door-"
Before Roy could come up with something creative there was a knock on the door before it opened to reveal the Boy Wonder himself looking a little dazed but far from the disgusted anger Wally must have been imagining. The only indication that he was seriously out of it was Robin not commenting on Roy trying to break into his own bathroom. As usual he headed for the carpet in front of the couch and stared at Roy curiously. "Have you seen Wally?"
"Yes," Roy was going to give Wally five seconds to speak up before he told Robin the other boy was having an emotional crisis in the bathroom.
He got to four when the weight against the door disappeared and Robin suddenly perked up. "Do you know why he didn't answer his phone then? I need to talk to him."
And there was the iron grip on the door handle again. Roy showed great restraint by not shoving the door open and giving the idiot a well deserved concussion. Instead Roy kept talking to Robin, "Let me guess, he kissed you then ran off before you two could arrange a proper date?"
Robin looked surprised, "Well yeah, I guessed he heard one of the thugs getting away or something but I haven't been able to find him."
Now Roy gave an unexpected shove that had the door open and Wally easily grabbed by the collar and thrown into the living room in front of a baffled Robin. "Here he is. Now I give you both my blessing and get out."
If Roy wasn't so frustrated it might have been endearing to see Robin enthusiastically grab Wally by the hand and remind him that Zombie Slayers 3 was still playing in theaters. What really made him happy was seeing the two slip out onto the balcony and disappear into the city.