Work Text:
rose rose youll never guess what i got!! :O
Rose Lalonde looked up from her novel to see her friend Jade bounding towards her, looking exuberant as always. She was holding something behind her back.
Hello, Jade.
Rose waved and returned to her book. Jade seemed taken aback.
…arent you going to try to guess what i got?
I had dismissed it as an impossibility; you were quite adamant that the nature of your enigmatic acquisition would be beyond my grasp.
but thats no fun!
and i was only exaggerating :P
Then I’ll take a shot. Is it, perhaps, a shiny new collar to befit your ears?
rose!! >:(
I was only joking. It’s a Squiddles! DVD. Or, more specifically, it is the updated Bluray re-release of Squiddles! The Movie: The Day The Unicorns Couldn’t Play.
yeah, youre right
how did you know that??? :O
wait durr dont answer that, you are a seer
you probably knew the entire time!!!
Yes, I did. No puzzle is too labyrinthine for my piercing gaze.
hehehehe, that is so cool
anyway
i was wondering if you wanted to watch it tonight with me and feferi
we can make it like a girls only sleepover!! :D
Rose considered her options – a night alone in the study with her literature, or a night spent watching a kid’s movie with two loud and obnoxious girls. Pillow fights were certain. Shenanigans, definite.
In response to your RSVP, je vais assister à votre fête.
The words were mangled – Rose was no master of French – but they came out alright.
umm??
That’s a yes.
yay!!! :D
Jade ran off with a bounce in her step and a sparkle in her eye. Rose smiled to herself, and hoped that the movie wasn’t as terrible as she remembered it being when she saw it as a young child. At any rate, she doubted Jade and Feferi would care.
***
When Jade arrived, Feferi was lying on her back in her pool. She was lazily floating atop the water and kicking meandering laps around the edge. She perked up as soon as Jade entered, and swung herself upright, treading water.
)(--EY, Jade!
Water you doing )(ere?
hi feferi!!! i have come to invite you to…..
a slumber party!!!! :D
38O
T)(at sounds…reely stupid.
:(
JUST KIDDING!!! 38D
)(ee )(ee )(ee!
Feferi cackled, only stopping short once she saw the nonplussed look on Jade’s face.
Ok, it sounds super fun!
I will be s)(ore to attend, Ms. )(arley!
great!!!
Jade bounded out of the room, and Feferi returned to her swimming.
***
Jade went to great lengths to set up her room for the slumber party. Festive streamers in green and pink were thrown haphazardly about, taped to the ceiling in some spots to keep them hanging. She gathered up as many pillows and blankets as she could find and slung them on her bed, and in every free corner, and in front of a newly-alchemized flatscreen TV. After a bit of work she was able to persuade Dave and Terezi to lend her some goods from their private snack stash, and so the end tables were stocked with candies and chips and popcorn. She was just popping the movie into her Blu-ray player when her first guest, Feferi, arrived.
S)(ells bells, Jade! T)(ose are some fintastic decorations! 38O
thanks <3
Rose arrived soon afterwards, with her novel in hand, as though she expected to be bored by the movie at some point. Jade didn’t mind.
At the wave of her hand, Rose conjured a thorny armchair in the corner, and she nestled into it quite comfortably. Feferi dived into a pile of pillows, her head and horns just barely poking out of the heap. Jade popped the Squiddles! disc into her player, turned on the TV, and dimmed the lights. Remote in hand she hopped onto her bed, swathing herself in blankets and then collapsing onto her stomach.
The Blu-ray menu was sloppily put together and it crackled with the occasional glitched frame.
Such worksmanship is congenital to the Squiddles! brand, I suppose.
I t)(ink it adds flair, it makes the menu reely snapper!
i dont know i think it is kind of creepy
but whatever!! lets watch!
Jade hit the play button and the movie began.
***
This is the tale of one brave Squiddle who brought light to the deepest parts of the ocean, and saved the Unicorns from an untimely death at the hands of Skipper Plumbthroat…
The movie was every bit as terrible as Rose remembered it; the voice acting was mediocre at best (except for the stellar work on Plumbthroat – Mr. Fox did an excellent job of capturing the hollow void inside his character’s soul) and the animation was rather lacking in quality. It looked as if it had been done in Adobe Flash, for heaven’s sake! The thinly-veiled references to sex and Elder Gods made her think that the animators really weren’t concerned about the audience the movie was marketed to.
Jade and Feferi, however, were doing their part very well: laughing at all of the juvenile jokes, gaping, horrified, when Little Inkpad was nearly speared by Plumbthroat’s harpoon, cheering as he released the Sea-Unicorns from their cramped cages. Every major event was met with the same dialogue:
oh my gosh did you see that!!! so cooooooool
Yea)(, t)(is movie is somefin else!
oh god did he just
phewwww!!! i thought he almost died there :O
W)(OA MOBY, LOOK OUT FOR T)(E S)(ARKS!
Rose, only half-paying attention to the film, opened her book and lost herself to fantasy.
***
So…w)(at now?
The credits had all rolled up the screen, the cheery music had long since faded, and the TV was blank. Feferi looked to Jade, and Jade shrugged.
i dont know
what else do girls do on sleepovers??
W)(ale, I saw one of –Eridan’s movies about sleepovers once.
All the girls took off t)(eir clot)(es and started w)(apping eac)( ot)(er wit)( pillows! T)(ey also giggled a lot, and t)(ey were about to start kissing w)(en –Eridan walked in and got all embarrassed aboat it!
um :\
I hate to break this to you, my dear Empress, but those kinds of sleepovers are better left to the imagination.
Eridan’s imagination, that is.
O)(.
So w)(at do we do, t)(en?
hmmmm
we could play truth or dare!!! or tell ghost stories!! or do each others hair and makeup!!
It isn’t long before slumber claims us. I’d advise against playing stylist, since sleep oft makes a fool of our carefully-primped hairstyles.
ok thats out
ghost stories?
S)(ore! I’ve got a great one aboat )(e W)(om It Is Forbidden To Speak Of, Lest Ye Suffer –Eternal Pain.
:I
Ah, yes. He is one of my favorite Elder Gods, my familiarity with his tale is surpassed only with that of the back of my hand.
Darn. 38\
It’s no fun if one of you )(as already )(eard the tale.
We could just go to sleep.
no!! thats not fun either
we need to think of something fun to do…
wait
ive got it!!! :D
O)(?
Do go on…
***
Karkat Vantas awoke the next morning to find that his entire room had been filled with Squiddles! dolls while he slept. He waded through the sea of tanglebuddies and tromped down to Jade’s room, grumbling about buck-toothed idiots.
He pushed the door open, and looked inside. Jade and Feferi were cuddled up against one another in Jade’s bed. Feferi was snoring loudly and it looked like she had been chewing on a pillow while she slept. Jade had one arm around Feferi and the other sprawled out at an odd angle, and her head was lying back with her mouth gaping. Rose was curled up in her armchair, sound asleep, with her book lying open on the floor.
Karkat shut the door and walked off. He’d deal with them later, when they weren’t busy being so goddamned adorable.