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For His Presence

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There he was, standing on a beach, all alone. Akira dragged him there, telling him it was going to be fun and all, but as soon as they arrived, he left with some girl and now he was nowhere to be found. Blinding spotlights were forcing their rays into his eyes. White sand, no matter how beautiful it looked, was annoyingly getting into his shoes. The sound of waves might have calmed him down, however, music coming from a huge stage nearby was so loud, he couldn´t hear them.

That night was awful. He wanted to run away from this unfamiliar place. He wanted to hide from this crowd of nameless people. His heart was racing, trying to escape, leaving his breath behind. He wasn´t able to bear this anonymity anymore, this anonymity which made him remember and feel what he was trying to push into the darkest corner of his brain.

At first Kouyou was angry. Because even his best friend abandoned him. The last one, who he thought might have actually cared about him. Though he was always that kind of person who was better on his own, this time it was different.

The man felt confused. And lonely. The realization of the bitter truth came to him gradually like when the mist rises up from the streets´ ground. Slowly, but in the end it reveals everything what couldn´t be seen before. Kouyou was desperate.

Everyone around him thought he didn´t notice they all only pretended they cared about him. And if he had ever noticed, then that he wouldn´t have minded at all. But everyone was mistaken. He knew very well. It hurt. That´s why it was his habit to leave the party first or not to show there at all. That´s why a tiny happiness overcame his mind when Akira called him, persuaded him to come with him, saying there was no one else he wanted to go with. But nothing changed, not even when it came to his best friend. Ignorance was everything what was left for Kouyou.

The music became louder, deafening. The man started to approach the stage in fast pace, firmly decided to find Akira and make him drive him home, where he could lie on his bed, wrap a blanket around himself. Where he could close his eyes and listen to silence of the white walls of his flat. They had never pretended anything. They didn´t speak any sham words to him. They healed his sore heart, only so he could go out and had it wounded again.

Suddenly Kouyou´s head started spinning and his heartbeat was the only thing he could hear. Someone bumped into his arm, making him lose his balance. A shower of warm laughter reached his ears. He fell on the ground, sand saving his knees from hard landing. Then the world stopped and Kouyou opened his eyes.

The first thing he noticed when he got used to the reflectors again, was someone´s hand reaching towards him and waiting for him to grab it. His orbs travelled upwards. Examining fingertips, a wrist, a strong arm in a white, short sleeve T-shirt. A stranger. Dark headed, his brows frowned in what seemed to be close to concern. The man was still, silently waiting for Kouyou to take hold of the offered help. Finally he made his own arm move and the dark head pulled him up, he was standing again. The other smiled and two symmetrical dimples appeared on his cheeks. Relief was reflecting in his eyes. Kouyou could hear someone was running towards the stranger from behind.
“Yutaka! What the hell? Why have you stopped?”

Kouyou quickly bowed and walked around the man, Yutaka. He prayed for the other not to say a word. For the other not to stop him from going away. He didn´t want him to. Knowing the name and seeing the face was enough. Knowing about his presence was enough. A solid existence in time and space like the one of the walls in Kouyou´s apartment.

And Yutaka did nothing. He turned around too and ran in the direction of the voice that called him.