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Unpaid Taxes

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“What’s this?” Steve asked, taking the envelope from Coulson. He looked at the return address, his brow furrowing. “The IRS?”

“The Internal Revenue Service,” Coulson said slowly.

Steve frowned at Coulson. “I know what the IRS is, but what do they want?”

“I don’t know,” Couslon replied. “I just deliver the mail.”

Steve looked helplessly at Tony as Coulson left the room. “I swear he thinks I’m an idiot.”

“That man thinks everyone is an idiot,” Tony muttered sourly. He shook his head and nodded at the envelope. “Just open it, Steve.”

Steve opened the envelope and scanned the letter, his mouth dropping open in shock.

“What? What is it?” Tony asked. He walked around behind Steve, trying to read over his shoulder.

“They…they’re,” Steve stammered, not able to get the words out. “They can’t. Can they?”

Tony snatched the letter out of Steve’s hand, scanning it quickly. Once he finished he clenched his fist, crushing the paper. “Like hell they can. The nerve. You didn’t fake your death in order to avoid paying taxes!”

“I didn’t fake my death at all!” Steve exclaimed.

“I know that.” Tony balled the paper into a wad and threw it at his desk. “I bet they know that too.”

Steve sat down heavily and buried his head in his hands. “They said that if I paid the back taxes then they wouldn’t arrest me. Seventy years of unpaid taxes. Where am I going to get that kind of money, Tony?”

“They won’t arrest you. You’re a national hero, if the press got wind of the strong arm tactics--”

“You can’t give that to the press,” Steve interrupted, looking up at Tony. “I don’t want the press involved. Not after that incident last month with Christine Everhart.”

Tony sighed and sat down on the couch next to Steve. “That was about me, not you. She’s had it out for me for years.”

“I figured that out,” Steve said dryly. He waved the paper. “Any chance I could borrow a few million dollars?”

“If it comes to that, yes,” Tony said. “But let me get my lawyers on it first. They’re expecting you to be a dutiful soldier, lost in a new era. They won’t expect you to fight back.”

“You would really just loan me,” Steve looked down at the paper, “five million dollars? Just like that?”

Tony frowned. “Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, Tony.” Steve shook his head fondly. He grabbed Tony’s tie and pulled him forward into a kiss. “Don’t ever change.”

Tony pulled back. “JARVIS did you get that on tape?” He grinned at Steve. “Say it again just in case.”

“Shut up while you’re ahead,” Steve said, pressing his lips against Tony’s.

“Yes, sir,” Tony mumbled against Steve’s lips before leaning back against the arm of the couch, pulling Steve with him.