The two boys were so caught up in their kissing, it took a few minutes for their new setting to sink in. It was the African-American who noticed first, drawing back from a passionate kiss to look outside the observation window, seeing Earth far below. He gasped slightly and the other boy took that as a sign to press forward and continue with their embrace.
Finally, Rodney couldn’t take it anymore: “Excuse me, I know we’re interrupting valuable making out time here, but if you could please direct your eyes towards the observation window in front of you we would greatly appreciate it.”
The skinny, blond hair boy looked up, startled, and only then noticed that they were not in the wardrobe closet of their theater anymore; instead, they seemed to be on some type of space craft that had an observation window of…he looked out and practically fainted: “is that Earth?”
“Yes, that’s Earth.” A women’s voice sounded from somewhere to the side of the…deck?
“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” The darker-skinned boy whispered to his boyfriend.
“I told you their intelligence was debatably, Colonel—I believe we had a prolonged discussion about that very topic before you went ahead and beamed them aboard—they don’t even know what state they were living in!” Rodney turned towards Sheppard and placed his hands on his hips for emphasis: “and you thought this would be a good idea, productive?”
“Dude, it’s a quote.” The blond explained. “Ya know, from Wizard of Oz?”
Rodney looked at the two teens for half-a-second before sighing: “I always meant to see that, but things came up.”
“You haven’t seen Wizard of Oz?” John looked at Rodney with exaggerated surprise. “That’s it—next team night will be dedicated to Glinda and Toto.”
The two teens glanced at each other with some surprise, then out the observation window again. “Um,”
“Yes, yes. You’re on a space ship.” Rodney explained with some exasperation in his voice, “although I thought that would have been evident with the giant window right behind you that shows Earth, but educational standards have fallen in the past twenty years—why, did you know that students don’t even have to show their work anymore on calculus problems? They all have those graphing calculators that do the work for them! Ha!”
“Rodney,” Sheppard growled slightly from the side before shrugging. He turned towards the kids: “I’m Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, and this buffoon is Dr. Rodney McKay. Welcome to the Daedalus.”
“Chad,” the African-American pointed to himself, “and my boyfriend, Ryan.”
“Good to meet you, good to meet you—now, if you could please take a break from social engagement, did you forget we have to find the missing Goa’uld within the next day or Earth as we know it will somehow be destroyed?” Rodney shouted the last bit to the entire deck.
“Earth will be destroyed?” Chad managed to pick up the end part of Rodney’s rant, turning towards his boyfriend. “Did he just say Earth would be destroyed, because it sounded like he just said Earth would be destroyed, and I don’t want Earth to be destroyed.”
John frowned slightly before saying: “Rodney is a bit of a…well, he exaggerates a lot.”
Rodney looked affronted: “Colonel, did you forget the massive piece of rock that is even now hurtling towards Earth at high speeds? And did you forget our only chance of stopping this thing is to find out where the damn Goa’uld is hiding on Earth, and then using it as a bargaining chip with the Goa’uld war-council?”
“Rodney!” Sheppard shouted, “Ix-nay the Eathday alktay”
Chad had to fight a grin: “We’re teenagers, we know pig latin.”
Sheppard blushed, “Well, it was worth a shot?” He shrugged helplessly.
“Look, as much fun as this is, we brought you here for a reason.” Rodney charged forward. “We are fighting some…creatures, and we think one might be hiding in your high school. Sheppard thought it would be a good idea to do some groundwork before having an entire team show up. Answer our questions and you’ll be back on Earth before you know it.”
“And by creatures, you mean aliens, right?” Ryan looked at the pair forcefully until they nodded.
“Yes, by creatures we mean aliens.” Rodney admitted, grumbling the entire time. “But, there are security clearances and stuff that you have to go through before we just tell you what they are.”
“You mean the Goa’uld,” Chad offered with a grin. “You mentioned them earlier.”
Rodney turned red before hastily responding: “If I buy you an ice-cream or something would you forget I ever mentioned them?”
“Rodney!” all the different people on deck shouted at once.
Ryan shrugged: “naw, I think I’m lactose intolerant.”
“Of course, he’s lactose intolerant.” Rodney muttered to himself before turning to Sheppard: “They’re all yours.”
“Great.” John looked at the teens slowly before sighing. “Look,” he decided to simply spell it out for them. “We have reason to believe that the Goa’uld that is hiding on earth is using a high school as his recruiting grounds. We’ve pinned it down to four different potential schools, one of which was yours. Are there any girls that have been particularly…”
“Bitchy,” Rodney piped up. “Moody, seem like their PMSing all the time? That have to be the queen of everything, demanding constant attention?”
Chad smiled at this description and then subtly coughed “Sharpay” at Ryan.
John’s ears perked up a bit: “Was that a name?”
Ryan laughed at this before shaking his head: “No, it was my sister. She’s a drama queen.”
“That could be what we’re looking for, Colonel.” Rodney stepped forward. “Did all of this start about four months ago?”
“It started about 16 years ago. We’re twins, and she’s always been like that.”
“And I really don’t know how you put up with her,” Chad said to his boyfriend.
“She’s family. You don’t really get to pick them.”
During this banter Rodney motioned towards the back of the deck and seconds later the boys found themselves back in the drama classrooms wardrobe closet. “Huh.” Chad said minutes later, after he’d taken the time to process the entire conversation. “That was odd.”
“Yeah.” Ryan responded before leaning into his boyfriend, pressing his entire body against the other teens.
“I hope they find that alien—thing.” Chad continued, oblivious to what Ryan was doing.
“So do I,” Ryan whispered into Chad’s ear.
“Seriously! It would totally suck if the world ended tomorrow.”
“A-huh.” Ryan grasped the back of Chad’s head and tilted it slightly, then moved forward to press his lips against the other boys.
“Mmmmm.” Whatever Chad meant to say was lost as the two boys began to kiss frantically once more, conversations regarding extra-terrestrials forgotten.
Meanwhile: “We have three more schools to look at, Colonel. We’ll find her.”
“Yeah, Rodney.” John looked at his friend. “Where to next?”
“Someplace called Sunnydale, California. I think we’re going to be talking to a Dawn Summers.”
"We're totally fucked."