Work Header

Tastes So Good

Work Text:

It starts in Chicago. Ebs could have gone out drinking with everyone else, but he just shrugs and says he’d rather just hang and watch a movie. Hallsy is kind of pathetically grateful that he isn’t going to be alone all evening, but it would be weird to actually say that.

It turns into a line movie night when Maggie and Lander decide to do some weird Swedish communing with nature shit and sneak down to the lake shore, even though it’s probably illegal, and they can’t leave Nuge alone again after the sad faces Ebs’s mom made at them the last time that happened.

“Um, I brought chips?” Nuge says when he knocks on Hallsy’s door. Ebs is already there because they’ve been hanging out all afternoon, and Hordichuk’s not going to be back until late, which is why they’re in Hallsy’s room to begin with.

Hallsy shrugs. “Okay,” he says. “Ebs won’t let you eat them, though. He brought baby carrots.”

“Really?” Nuge asks.

“No,” Hallsy says, and he moves aside to let Nuge into the room.

“I do have baby carrots,” Ebs says, lounging on Hallsy’s bed, flipping through the channels at breakneck speed. “But you can eat chips if you want. I mean, I just try and be healthy, you know?”

Nuge gets this weird guilty look, and Hallsy knows the chips are not getting eaten.

They end up watching Bridesmaids on pay-per-view, because nobody’s there to make fun of them for watching a chick movie. It’s pretty hilarious, and the three of them end up flopped on one bed. It’s not weird. Mostly it’s a lot like sitting on a couch together. Except the couch is a bed.

They get food when the movie finishes, just room service, and Hallsy orders the healthiest thing on the menu and doesn’t even get dessert, which is worth it when Ebs grins at him. Nuge orders this amazing chocolate cake, though, because obviously Ebs-guilt doesn’t work for a whole evening on Nuge.

"I can have some, right?" Hallsy says, looking at all the delicious chocolatey amazingness.

"No," Nuge says.

Hallsy would be impressed with Nuge having the guts to say that to him, but he really wants the cake.

"Seriously?" Hallsy says, absolutely not whining. "Non-beauty move, dude."

"Just order your own slice," Nuge says.

"I only want a little.” Hallsy says.

“No,” Nuge says.

Hallsy is not the rookie here, though, so he lunges over where Ebs is sitting and reaches for the cake.

Somehow they end up wrestling for it. Hallsy is bigger and stronger, even when he's half-sprawled over Ebs to reach Nuge and the cake.

"Oh my god, are you two twelve?" Ebs says, trying to kick Hallsy off him. "Just share the cake, Nuge."

Which is how Ebs ends up getting drawn into the wrestling match too, and indirectly how the cake gets destroyed when Nuge pushes Ebs into it.

"Motherfucker!" Hallsy says, because no matter how great chocolate is, it's not actually edible when it's smeared all over Ebs and the bed's sheets.

"Like that was my fault," Ebs says, pushing Nuge backwards.

Nuge lands hard, getting covered in chocolate too, and breaking the goddamn bed.

"Shit," Hallsy says.

It's Nuge who cracks up first, but Hallsy and Ebs aren't far behind him.

"Holy crap," Ebs says. "We are so dead."

"The bed was defective," Hallsy says. "This totally wasn't us."

"Should we, like, call someone?" Nuge asks.

"I guess," Ebs says. "But, um, is it weird if I shower first?"

"No," Hallsy says, absolutely not pouting. "I mean, you can just go back to your room, and I'll deal with this."

"Oh my god," Ebs says. "You are such an asshole. I'll shower here, then. I just don't want to be covered in chocolate when I explain to someone that we broke a bed! You'll have to loan me sweats or whatever."

"Oh, um, me too," Nuge says, wiping a streak of frosting off his cheek.

They're hockey players, so ten minutes later, Nuge and Ebs are freshly showered, wearing some of Hallsy's clothes, and they're looking at the bed, with its sheets messed up and everything covered in chocolate.

"Um, out of context this looks really bad," Nuge says. “Like, this looks post-orgy bad.”

Ebs nudges at the bed with his foot, and it collapses even more, tilting alarmingly to the left with another crash.

The lock clicks and Hordichuk walks into the room.

"What's up-" He just stops for a second. "What the fuck?"

"Um," Hallsy looks at the bed, and at the fact that Ebs and Nuge have just showered and are wearing his clothes, and he knows he's still a little sweaty and messed up from wrestling, and back at the bed.

"It's not what it looks like," he says.

"We were wrestling over chocolate cake?" Nuge says.

"I'm just going to go share with Gibby," Hordichuk says, and backs out of the room really fast.

"Oh," Ebs says. "I guess that means I'm staying here."

“Right," Hallsy says. "That means we can figure the bed out tomorrow?"

"Sure," Ebs says. "You want to watch TV?"

Which is how all three of them end up falling asleep on the other bed halfway through an episode of Gilmore Girls, which was absolutely Nuge's choice.

It’s kind of awkward the next morning when they wake up, but they don't really have time to think about the fact that they all kind of snuggled because they're about to be late for team breakfast. Nuge and Ebs have to head back to their rooms to change, and Hallsy throws on some clothes to head downstairs before Khabi takes all of the bacon.

Most of the team is already there, but the second Hallsy walks into the conference room, where they're eating, everything goes quiet.

"Have a good night, Hallsy?" Horc asks finally.

Hallsy can't stop himself from blushing, but he just flips Horc off and grabs a plate.

Hallsy sits at a table alone, and when Ebs joins him, and then Nuge, a ripple of laughter heads around the room. It's like being back in high school, and Hallsy is not impressed.

Team Meeting happens right after breakfast, and Coach Renney talks over their plan for the day, and what they're doing in morning skate, and just when Hallsy thinks they're done, Renney coughs and then looks a little awkward.

"I'm not interested in your personal lives, as long as you're playing the best hockey you can, and I'm going to say this again. We are about respect and tolerance. Am I making myself clear? If people are happy, people are happy, okay?"

For a moment Hallsy thinks that something happened while the guys were out last night, but everyone is looking at him, Ebs and Nuge.

Everyone sort of nods and then they're allowed to go, except as Hallsy's getting up, Renney calls the three of them over.

"I'm not asking anything," Renney says. "You tell me when you're comfortable, as long as whatever happens, it stays off the ice."

"It's, I mean-" Renney cuts Hallsy off.

"It's fine, kids," he says. "As long as you're all happy." He chuckles to himself. "Heh, hormone hockey, huh?"

Hallsy dies inside, just a little.

Jonesy's waiting in his room when Hallsy gets back. The bed is still there, broken and covered in chocolate. Hordichuk’s gone, and his stuff is missing too.

"I'm actually pretty impressed," Jonesy says. "A little traumatized, but impressed."

"Nothing happened!" Hallsy says.

"Right," Jonesy says. "The bed broke itself. It was nothing to do with the fact that you were having a kinky threesome."

"We were watching a movie!" Hallsy says.

"A porn-fueled kinky threesome," Jonesy says.

"Nothing happened," Hallsy says, and he heads to the bathroom to shower indignantly.

They lose, and their line gets split up halfway through the game, which sucks.

"No more kinky sex the night before a game," Horc says in the locker room after the game.

Everybody cracks up, and Hallsy blushes really hard.

“Nothing happened,” Ebs says.

“Right,” Smitty says. “Just like the bed broke itself when I was on my honeymoon.”

“It is kind of weird though,” Pecks says. “Not the fact that you’re guys. Or the threesome thing,” he adds quickly. “I mean, I’m not judging. Except for the cake thing. That’s what I’m judging. I have lines. Food during sex is a line.”

“You never have?” Dubey asks, and Hallsy is so glad that the attention is finally off him.

“Ew, no,” Pecks says.

“Not in, like, a sexy way,” Dubey says, shrugging. “Sometimes I get hungry during, and we stop for a snack.”

Hallsy thinks about sitting with someone not Ebs on the flight home to stop everyone from making fun of him, but they've been watching True Blood on Ebs's iPad on the plane all trip, and it would be weird to change that. Nuge sits across from them, and the three of them end up talking about their plans for the next couple of days, until Ebs falls asleep and Nuge goes back to listening to his iPod. So it’s all like normal, except when Horc turns around and cracks up when he sees Ebs asleep on Hallsy’s shoulder while Hallsy leans across the aisle so he and Nuge can share Nuge’s headphones. Whatever, Nuge found a Swedish house remix of the Power Rangers theme online, and it’s awesome.

The next week is weird...weirder than usual. Nuge is living with Jonesy now, and when Hallsy and Ebs go and pick him up so they can go see a movie, Jonesy’s wife, Jaime, smirks at them.

“Date night?” she asks.

Hallsy rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything.

“You boys have him back by eleven at the latest,” Jonesy says.

Nuge blushes, and they all leave as fast as possible. It’s not like it’s just them seeing the movie. They’re meeting Whits and Khabi there.

It’s kind of funny, though. Ebs insists on buying tickets, so Hallsy’s the one to buy the popcorn, and Nuge gets drinks. They sit together, and sometimes, when they reach for the popcorn at the same time, their hands brush. It really kind of is like the dates Hallsy went on in junior high, except he’s with two dudes, and his mom isn’t going to show up to drive him home after.

Then they play Chicago again. Hallsy is starting to think that there’s some kind of curse that follows those guys around and makes everything weird.

“Nuuuuuggggeeeeeee,” Hallsy says, draping himself over Nuge’s shoulder as soon as the press are gone from the locker room. “You, me, Ebby, drinks.”

“I thought everyone was going out,” Nuge says.

“Well, yeah, but they’re old and lame,” Hallsy says. “We are all going to wingman each other, and then we are going to get laid.”

The bar they head to is pretty busy, but Taylor sees a couple of girls he knows, and they head over to join a table. Sure enough, he gets talking to this girl, and she seems to like him, or at least like him enough to let him buy her a few drinks.

He heads to the bathroom after about an hour, when it’s become pretty clear he’s not getting anywhere, and is less than amused to see that Ebs has a girl sitting in his lap, and really unamused to see that Nuge is making out with this other girl, pressing her against the wall of the bar.

“Ebs,” Hallsy yells.

Ebs looks up.

“I’m tired,” Hallsy says.

“You want to go?” Ebs says, already easing the girl out of his lap and getting up.

Hallsy nods. “I have to go to the bathroom, but you find Nuge,” he says, before running away.

When he gets back, Ebs and Nuge are waiting for him, and Nuge is sporting a really impressive hickey.

“Hey, Nuge, can you go grab us a cab?” Ebs asks.

Nuge shrugs and heads outside, and Ebs smacks Hallsy across the back of the head.

“Is this you cockblocking Nuge because you struck out?” Ebs asks.

“No,” Hallsy lies.

It ends up being a not-terrible night, even after they all head back to Hallsy and Ebs’s place. They pile onto the couch, and Ebs makes some popcorn, and they watch the game highlights over and over. Hallsy isn’t going to lie. He gets a little turned on watching himself score over and over. It’s not that weird, though. He’s pretty sure all hockey players feel that way.

They end up passing out on the couch, all tangled up together, and as Hallsy lets himself fall asleep, he realizes it’s actually really comfortable, so he tucks himself into Ebs’s side a little more and pulls Nuge a little closer.

Hallsy is the middle spoon when he wakes up. He hadn’t realized their couch was wide enough for this, but obviously it is. He can feel Nuge’s morning wood pressing into his ass, and he knows Ebs can probably feel the same thing from him, but he really doesn’t care.

“Ebby, you awake?” Hallsy whispers, shaking Ebs a little.

“No,” Ebs mumbles, pressing back against Hallsy a little more.

“You want coffee?” Hallsy says.

“Mmm,” Ebs says.

Hallsy manages to climb out from between Ebs and Nuge without dumping anyone onto the floor, which he counts as a win. He sets the coffee machine to brew, and then heads to the shower. He’s got a couple of bruises from the game, but nothing too bad, and he gets to take a long time jerking off. He doesn’t need elaborate fantasies or anything; he’s been pressed between two warm bodies, and he scored a hat trick last night, and that’s more than enough.

Ebs cooks them breakfast. They’re all a little hung over, and the bacon is basically the best thing that Hallsy has ever tasted.

“Beauty,” Hallsy says, with a mouth full of eggs.

They get to the rink on time, stopping at Jonesy's place so Nuge can pick up his stuff. He's already packed for the week-long road trip, so Ebs and Hallsy wait in the car, playing Words with Friends, until Nuge is ready to go.

Jamie waves at them as Nuge heads out the door, and Hallsy can feel her judging them, even though Hallsy totally saved Nuge from making a drunken bad decision the night before.

They're at the rink before Hallsy realizes why Jamie was smirking.

"So," Horc says. "Not that this is any of my business, but as Captain, I feel like I should ask which one of you has the vampire fetish. Because that's quite a bite you gave the kid."

Hallsy feels himself blush, even though he had nothing to do with it.

"Five bucks, Jones," Horc yells. "It was definitely Hall."

The flight to Dallas takes hours, and with the amount of shit that Hallsy gets from the entire team, it feels like it takes days.

"No, seriously," Hordichuk says. "I will pay so much money to whoever switches rooms with me."

"Everyone's sleeping in their assigned rooms," Coach Renney yells. "Especially the kids. Pre-game nap time is nap time, not fooling around time."

Basically, Hallsy wants to quit hockey forever, or maybe get traded to the KHL, or any team that isn't convinced he's having a kinky three-way relationship with his linemates.

"Hey," Ebs says, nudging Hallsy. "Want to watch a movie? I downloaded Mighty Ducks."

Hallsy nods.

"Hey, Nuge," Ebs calls. "Want to watch Mighty Ducks with us?"

Nuge joins them, and it's kind of awkward fitting three of them into two seats, and Ebs basically ends up in Hallsy's lap, but it's nice, and Nuge shares his Smarties with Hallsy.

Hallsy can't even work up the energy to chirp back when Maggie yells, "No joining the Mile High Club," at them.

Dallas sucks, but Nashville is a win, and Hallsy will take that. He's not a fan of the place, because country music basically makes him want to barf, but it's better than Minneapolis, even though they get a free day there.

"Seriously, though," Hallsy says. "I went to the Mall of America when I was down here for the draft. It's not as good as the West Ed."

"We could go ride the roller-coaster," Nuge suggests.

"It's SpongeBob," Hallsy says flatly.

"Don't lie," Ebs says. "You love SpongeBob. You have SpongeBob boxers."

That is a secret that non-laundry buddies should never know, so Hallsy elbows Ebs in the side really hard, but he goes along to ride the roller-coaster anyway, even if he's determined not to look happy about it.

“Ha," Smid says, when he's being lame and not riding the SpongeBob SquarePants Rock Bottom Plunge. "You look like bored boyfriend being dragged round Mall."

"Because he is," Jonesy says.

Smid shrugs. "Yeah," he says. "I guess. I'm going to have coffee with Tom."

"We can go to the aquarium next," Nuge says. "That's pretty cool."

"Okay," Hallsy says. Fish actually kind of freak him out, but he remembers how much Nuge talked about the aquarium when they went out for dinner after the draft.

They win against the Wild, and the flight to Colorado is sort of crazy, because it's been literally years since they beat the Wild at home. Hallsy sort of wants to curl up, or maybe watch a movie with his boys, but he's not going to be lame.

"Now we kick the Avs’ asses," Hallsy says.

They lose against the Avs, and worse, Hallsy has to come out of the game because his shoulder is basically about to fall off.

Ebs finds him in the trainers' room after he's done with the press.

"Hey," he says.

"I hate everything," Hallsy says.

Ebs hops up to sit next to him and pulls him in gently for a hug. It actually kind of helps.

"I maybe don't hate you," Hallsy says.

"Hey," Nuge says from the doorway.

"I don't hate you either," Hallsy says.

"They gave him Vicodin," Ebs says. "He has a lot of feelings when he takes anything stronger than Tylenol."

"Hey," Hallsy tries to protest, but he's falling asleep against Ebs's shoulder.

It’s almost morning when they get home, but Hallsy's glad to sleep in his own bed. He wakes up late, his whole left side hurts and he has kind of a headache. He wanders out into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey," Ebs says. He's at the counter, eating breakfast and playing with his phone. "You want an omelet?"

Hallsy's stomach rumbles almost on cue.

"Ham and cheese?" he asks.

Ebs leaves his own food half-eaten on the counter and pours Hallsy a cup of coffee before pulling the ingredients he needs from the refrigerator.

"What time are you heading to the rink?" Hallsy asks.

"Two," Ebs says. "Coach Renney already called to say they made a hospital appointment for you to get a scan. I have to go do press stuff, but Nuge is going to go with you."

"I can go on my own," Hallsy protests. "I don't need the kid to babysit me."

"He offered," Ebs says, and that makes Hallsy's stomach do a couple of flips that he's going to pretend are hunger pangs.

The next few days suck. He's stuck wearing a suit in the press-box while his team keeps losing. It helps a little that Ebs and Nuge are doing so well. They're both in the top ten points scorers in the NHL and keeping a better than point-per-game pace. Hallsy is totally grown-up enough to admit that he can be kind of a jealous person; he doesn't feel jealous of Ebs and Nuge at all, though. He just feels sort of proud.

Hallsy ends up heading to the West Ed while Nuge and Ebs are at practice, even though he has to get a cab because Ebs won't let him drive while his shoulder is fucked. He ends up at the Apple Store, vaguely thinking that he might buy a new laptop, and somehow ends up walking out with a new phone for Nuge.

"Hey, Nuge," he yells across the locker room the next morning. He tosses the bag at him, which, it's lucky Nuge has good reflexes because it would suck if the phone started out broken.

"Um," Nuge says when he looks in the bag. "Did you just buy me a phone?"

Hallsy blushes, because suddenly the whole locker room is quiet, and everyone is looking at him.

"Someone needs to beat Ebs at Words With Friends," Hallsy says.

Nuge suggests they head out to a late dinner after the Wild game, even though they lose, and then he insists on paying. It's kind of weird. Hallsy feels like he's being taken on a date, even though it's the three of them. It feels even more like a date when Nuge leans in and kisses Hallsy on the cheek before they drop him back at the Joneses’ place.

"Thanks for the phone," Nuge says, and then gets out of the car.

"Um." Hallsy doesn't know what just happened, and Ebs is acting like nothing happened.

Hallsy has to watch the team play a back-to-back on Friday and Saturday, and although they win Friday, they lose to the Flames on Saturday.

"I hate those assholes," Ebs says as they're driving home, his voice filled with the kind of venom only a life-long Oilers fan can manage.

"You'll get them next week," Hallsy says.

"I was thinking," Ebs says. "We should have Nuge over for dinner tomorrow."

"Sure," Hallsy says.

It's not until he's being forced to clean the bathroom and vacuum the living room the next morning that Hallsy realizes that maybe this isn't just hanging out with the guys and playing video games.

Ebs, who's been on the Martha Stewart website all morning, is acting all nervous, and keeps asking Hallsy if he likes oysters or asparagus.

"I don't even know what that is," Hallsy says. "And Nuge is over here basically every day. What does it even matter if I haven't taken the recycling out?"

It's not until mid-afternoon, when Ebs is putting clean sheets on his bed, that Hallsy works it out.

"Oh," he says. "Are you want me to go out so you can hit on Nuge?"

Ebs starts laughing, and five minutes later he's sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by sheets and still laughing.

"I googled it," Hallsy protests. "You're cooking that makes you want to have sex."

Ebs gets up, and gets right in Hallsy's personal space. "Yes I am," he says. "For the three of us."

"Oh," Hallsy says. Except it suddenly clicks. "Oh! want us to actually be having a kinky threesome relationship, not just having everyone think that."

Ebs grins. "You're so dumb, Hallsy," he says. "You're lucky I love you."

"Wait, you-" Ebs cuts Hallsy off by pulling him into a kiss.

It's a really good kiss. It's an amazing kiss, and Hallsy kind of wonders why they haven't been doing this for the whole four years they've known each other, and somehow a few minutes later, he's on his back on Ebs's unmade bed, with Ebs on top of him.

"Oh my god," Hallsy says. "Why didn't we do this before?"

"Because I thought you were straight," Ebs says.

"Really?" Hallsy asks. "Because I'm really not."

"I figured that out when you had the most obvious crush in the world on Nuge," Ebs says, nipping at Hallsy's neck.

Suddenly a lot more about the last few months makes sense to Hallsy.

"I'm into you too," Hallsy says.

"I can tell," Ebs says, pressing his thigh between Hallsy's legs and against his erection.

Hallsy's hips buck, and he pulls Ebs down to kiss him some more. They waste at least half an hour like that, but before either of them get off, Ebs pulls away. "I need to go cook dinner," he says.

"Non-beauty move," Hallsy complains. "Seriously, I'm like three minutes from getting off."

Ebs goes red, and Hallsy can't help thinking how good that looks. "I sort of...I don't think we should do that without Nuge," he says finally.

Hallsy didn't think his dick could get any harder, but apparently it could because the idea of the three of them doing that…of waiting for that….

"I'm going to go take a shower," Hallsy says, with as much dignity as he can when his jeans are tented so absurdly.

“Don’t jerk off,” Ebs says, heading for the kitchen.

Hallsy wants to tell Ebs to go fuck himself, but when he gets into the bathroom, he ends up setting the shower as cold as he can handle and standing under the spray thinking unsexy things.

By the time Nuge arrives, Hallsy is out of the shower and dressed, although his hair’s still wet, because unlike Jonesy, he refuses to blowdry his hair. He tried once and he kind of looked like he’d been electrocuted.

“Um, I bought chips,” Nuge says when Hallsy opens the door.

Hallsy gets this weird sense of déjà vu, like he’s back in that Chicago hotel all over again. Only this time he really is going to have a kinky threesome. That’s pretty awesome.

“Really?” Hallsy asks.

“No,” Nuge says, pushing past him and heading to the kitchen. “I brought wine.”

“Awesome,” Hallsy says. He prefers beer, but wine is probably the right drink for the…atmosphere, he guesses. It’s totally romantic, which works with all the sex they’re going to have.

Ebs is still busy in the kitchen, but Hallsy takes the bottle of wine from Nuge and pours them each a glass. He tries to be a good host and hands Nuge his glass first, but then he sort of drinks his glass in one gulp, because wine is pretty gross.

He looks up, and Ebs and Nuge are just looking at him.

“I’m sorry, okay,” Hallsy says. “This is weird.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Nuge says, and of course the kid knows exactly what this night is about.

“We’re absolutely doing this,” Hallsy says, because he’s half-hard already, just thinking about getting Ebs and Nuge into bed. “I just…I’m pretty sure I don’t like what Ebs is cooking, and I don’t like wine.”

Ebs looks a little hurt, and Hallsy winces. “No, I bet it’s awesome. I just prefer KD.”

“Pure romance,” Ebs says. “KD and beer and then we have sex.”

“That actually sounds pretty good,” Nuge says, and Hallsy thinks that maybe having three of them doing this is the best thing ever.

“I actually think I messed up the asparagus,” Ebs admits. He throws an oven mitt at Nuge’s head, and Nuge laughs.

“KD?” Nuge asks.

“Um, actually,” Ebs moves close to Nuge. “I think we can eat later.” He pulls Nuge in for a kiss, and that is maybe the hottest thing Hallsy’s seen in a while, and he looks at ‘Girls in Yoga Pants’ every day.

“Yeah,” Nuge says, pulling away from Ebs. “I’m really not that hungry.”

Nuge pulls Ebs in for another kiss, and as hot as that is, Hallsy isn’t going to wait around to get in on the action.

“My turn,” he demands, and throws an orange from the fruit bowl on the counter at Ebs’s head.

Ebs laughs and Nuge moves away, giving Hallsy a clear path to Ebs.

“Non-beauty move, rookie,” Hallsy says. “If you do this, you don’t just get to make out with Ebby.” He almost makes Nuge topple over when he pulls Nuge towards him, and Nuge is laughing as Hallsy goes in for the kiss.

It’s basically amazing. It’s better than he imagined, and he realizes he’s been imagining this basically since the draft. Or at least since rookie camp.

“Ebs is a better kisser,” Nuge says, pulling away.

“Fuck off,” Hallsy says, and tries to prove Nuge wrong.

By the time they make it to Ebs’s bed, there are clothes all over the hallway, and Hallsy is just wearing his jeans. It turns out Nuge is pretty handsy, and Hallsy has managed to give Ebs and Nuge matching hickeys already.

“This is awesome,” Hallsy says.

“Take off your pants,” Ebs says.

Hallsy is happy to oblige, and once he’s stripped off, he pulls Nuge onto the bed with him, taking the chance to touch as much smooth skin as he can reach. Ebs joins them, throwing the comforter and pillows on the floor, and suddenly this feels really, really real.

“Um,” Hallsy says. He feels his muscles tense up, and Ebs pulls away from where he’s biting Nuge’s collar bone.

“I’ve never been with a dude either,” Ebs says, trying to sound comforting.

Nuge trails his fingers up and down Hallsy’s side. It feels really good. “You’re not a virgin, are you?” Nuge asks, a little nervously.

“No!” Hallsy says.

Ebs reaches to run his fingers through Hallsy’s hair and leans over to kiss the side of his head.

“I’ve just always been drunk,” Hallsy says.

Hallsy can feel the moment when Nuge and Ebs both start laughing.

“Assholes,” Hallsy says, but he’s feeling less freaked out than he was before.

They don’t actually do anything super kinky. Hallsy gets hard pretty fast with Ebs and Nuge touching him, and he comes even faster when Nuge gives him what is seriously the best blowjob he’s ever had in his life.

“Shit,” Hallsy says, flopping backwards onto the bed after he comes. “That was awesome.”

Nuge wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and Hallsy can’t help staring at him. His lips are all red and puffy, and that’s from blowing Hallsy. It’s kind of amazing.

Ebs and Nuge seem happy to leave him to watch while they make out. Hallsy never realized that he likes to watch, and maybe if it was anyone else he wouldn’t, but he doesn’t feel jealous at all, or bored. It’s just hot.

It’s hot when he watches Ebs give Nuge a handjob.

“Sick mitts, eh,” Nuge jokes, and Ebs grins and rolls his eyes, and Hallsy kisses Nuge to stop him saying anything else dumb.

It’s hot when Hallsy gets to blow Ebs. Nuge sprawls next to him, telling him what to do, and Hallsy feels himself getting hard again, making himself listen to Nuge’s instructions as well as the way Ebs is moaning, and feeling the way Ebs is tangling his fingers in Hallsy’s hair as well as the way Nuge presses a kiss to the back of Hallsy’s neck.

This whole thing, this threesome thing, is kind of like sensory overload, and they don’t seem to be able to stop touching each other.

“I think I’m going to die,” Hallsy says, at about three in the morning when they finally get around to making the KD. “I’m going to die of too much sex.”

Ebs and Nuge laugh at him, but Hallsy aches all over and he wants to curl up and go to sleep.

“We smell kind of terrible,” Nuge says.

“Shower?” Ebs suggests, and Hallsy considers refusing, but he’s not that stupid.

They get clean, and then they get dirty again, and Hallsy is really grateful that they never seem to run out of hot water.

“This is kind of awkward,” Nuge says, banging his elbow on the shower door.

“But awesome,” Hallsy says.

They end up in Hallsy’s bed, eating cold KD at four-thirty. They have to be at practice in six hours, and the last thing that Hallsy remembers as he falls asleep is Ebs pulling up the comforter to cover them.

They’re only ten minutes late to the rink the next morning, which is kind of a miracle. Hallsy actually feels pretty good, too. The trainer tells him he’s joining on-ice practice, and even though he’ll be wearing the baby blue, no-contact jersey, he’s feeling awesome as he heads into the locker room.

“So,” Horc says, as soon as Hallsy sits down at his stall. “Why does Nuge have KD in his hair?”

Hallsy feels himself blush, but really, that’s nothing new at this point. Nuge frantically brushes at the back of his head, and sure enough, a clump of KD falls on the floor.

“I’m still judging you guys for the food thing,” Pecks says.

“The KD is weirder than the chocolate cake,” Jonesy says.

Ebs shrugs. “Hallsy loves his KD,” he says.

Hallsy does love his KD, but he maybe loves Ebs and Nuge more. He doesn’t say that out loud, though, because that would be weird.