Work Text:
~*~
"That's not a balloon."
"I know."
"Then why are you blowing it up?"
"Because I'm bored."
"But.. that's NOT a balloon!"
"So?"
"So it's meant for a different purpose!"
"Well, if you weren't so busy trying to blend into the background and just asked me to have sex with you like I know you've been meaning to for weeks on this long-ass-tour, we could put it to better use. But since you are such a mouse and I certainly can't be expected to do all the work here, I'm blowing it up."
"..."
"..."
"It's still not a balloon."
~*~
Ju-Ken shook his head. "No way. You're just trying to fuck with me, man."
"Wanna bet?" Kaz extended his hand. Sure enough, Ju-Ken fell for it.
So they showed Hyde the video. It was just a short clip really, and it was completely random. The giggling baby sure was a killer and playing it in loop affected Hyde in a most interesting fashion.
At first he smiled as he was reminded of his own son. Then he giggled as the baby laughter got more gleeful. Tears came out as he started to get side stitches from laughing. And finally there was a thump as he hit the floor and just continued laughing helplessly, trying to grab Kaz' pants and get some help, all the while flopping like a fish on dry land.
Kaz just smiled affectionately. "Told you it was easy. And yeah, I do it all the time."
~*~
"A book on music?"
"No."
"A book?"
"No!"
"But there are good books."
"You're shopping for a birthday present for Hyde. Think more random."
"So no book."
"No book."
"Not even..."
"No!"
"A fishing rod?"
"God, no."
"Soba?"
"As if he wasn't getting enough of that."
"Clothes that fit him?"
"Not worth the effort."
"A bra?"
"God, no!"
"A glittering plush lizard with green stripes and black beady eyes?"
"N-... actually, that'd be perfect."
~*~
They were crying. Ju-Ken blinked and simply looked at the scene from the safety of the hotel room's doorway. He didn't dare make a sound. But sure enough there were Hyde and Kaz sitting on the bed, leaning against each other, and there were tears running down both their cheeks. A weird sound occasionally came from Hyde, like a choked back sob. Kaz reached up to gently brush away some tears. Their eyes met.
Hyde was the first to crack. He giggled. Kaz was immediately infected and did so, too.
Not three seconds later they had to lean against each other for support, giving in to hysteric laughter so hard that tears were flowing freely.
Ju-Ken closed the door and slowly backed away.
These guys were weird.
~*~
"OW! What the fuck, Kaz?"
The guitarist rolled his eyes as Ju-Ken cradled his hand close and rubbed it with a wince.
"I told you the rules. One of us has a 7, we need to touch the button."
The button in this case was a card they had scribbled on with red marker and placed between them on the bed. How they were going to use it in other card games was a problem they graciously left to future Kaz and future Ju-Ken.
"Whoever touches the button first wins."
Ju-Ken's eyes bulged. "Yes, it was 'touch the button', not 'break every bone in Ju-Ken's hand'! Hyde. HYDE! Did you know this would happen?"
The small vocalist didn't look up from the house of cards he was building on the floor with loving dedication. However, he paused for a moment to consider the question and answer in the same tone in which he told his son that Mama certainly hadn't cried out in pain last night. "When Kaz asked who wanted to play, Arimatsu laughed hysterically, Jin whimpered and remembered he had a manicure appointment, and I said 'Thanks, but I value my extremities'."
"So?"
Kaz chuckled behind his hand. "So not even Hyde would be thick enough not to get those hints."
Hyde huffed and flicked a card at Kaz. It fluttered through the air helplessly and drifted down meters away from the bed. For a moment there was silence. Kaz and Hyde looked at each other, and Kaz realized those dark eyes told him very loudly that if he commented this further, he wouldn't be getting lucky for quite some time to come. He decided to back off.
"Ju-ken, I promise I'll be more gentle with you this time. Come on."
There was silence once again, the only sounds those of cards being turned over and Hyde occasionally humming as his card house grew. And then, finally, another 7 turned up...
"OW!!! KAZ!!!"
~*~
Sitting by the pool was kinda nice. Up to the point where Ju-Ken and Kaz decided to join him. Hyde really loved the guys, but sometimes they had this knack for driving him up the wall. Literally in Kaz' case. Before last night Hyde had never suspected Kaz might actually be strong enough to do him against a wall and hold up his weight doing so.
Well, one never stopped learning important facts.
And Kaz' little winces every time he picked up the guitar today had lifted his mood to new heights altogether.
Lost in thoughts of last night, Hyde licked his lips. Kaz blushed. Ju-Ken raised an eyebrow.
"What, you two fuck last night or something?"
"Un."
Hyde nearly spat out his drink as Kaz confirmed it just like that.
"Cool. Is it any good?"
"Very much so."
Ju-ken nodded, apparently contemplating the concept of Hyde and Kaz occasionally going at it with each other. "But... he's kinda small."
Kaz waved the protest off. "Makes it all the better, actually."
Hyde sat up a bit more. "Guys... EXCUSE me???"
They ignored him. The conversation kept spinning as Kaz used sun lotion on his skin and Ju-ken folded his towel to form a pillow for his head. It was all very casual as though the subject was neither present nor unusual at all. They discussed Hyde's tightness despite his protests, discussed interesting positions and Hyde's flexibility despite his screeching, and then Ju-ken even had the audacity to ask: "Is he as demanding in bed as he is in the recording room?"
Kaz laughed that shy little laugh of his. "He certainly knows what he wants..."
At this point Hyde threw up his hands and got up. "That's it, I've had it with you two idiots. No more leisure during band practice, no more slouching off, and NO MORE for you Kaz!" With that he meant to storm off.
Ju-Ken's voice made him come to a very sudden stop. "Hey, if Kaz doesn't get any, can I jump in, Boss?"
For a moment there was utter silence. Then Hyde sat back down, a smug little smile playing on his face.
"I'm listening..."
~*~
“Hyde... You weren't serious, right?”
“Of course I was.”
“But... I don't get it. You...”
“Well, I don't mind that much. Could be good.”
“And... Ju-Ken?”
“I got the impression he was all for it.”
“What about me? I thought we were... equal partners.”
“We are. I just ignore that all the time.”
“...”
“...”
“Oh.”
“It bothers you?”
“It's just... you and Ju-Ken...”
“Well, me and Ju-Ken and Arimatsu and Jin.”
“...”
“...”
“Oh.”
“And you, too.”
“Wait. Are we still talking about sex?”
“When were we talking about sex?”
“Just now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Not anymore...”
“I was talking about the diet plan, Kaz.”
“...”
“...”
“Oh.”
“So, do you wanna...?”
“Yeah, sure, I'm all for it.”
“Kaz?”
“Yeah?”
“Not talking about the diet plan anymore.”
“...”
“...”
“Oh.”
~*~
"So I have a new ring tone."
Kaz looked up at Hyde, suspicion in his eyes. This didn't bode well at all. In fact, the excitement in Hyde's eyes made him think he'd be better off just keeping his mouth shut and not knowing anything.
"Aren't you going to ask..."
"No."
"But..."
"No!"
"... as if I care about your mental health. Here, listen to this."
And with that Hyde played the ring tone.
It was an audio track of the laughing baby video Kaz every so often used to make Hyde fall out of the chair laughing.
When the audio track was through after nearly three full minutes, Kaz looked up from his magazine and at Hyde still giggling on the floor. With a sigh Kaz rubbed his temples. There was no way Hyde was ever going to pick up his phone again.
~*~
There was silence.
Then a moan.
The pencil scratched a very unwanted and ugly line across part of the composition Kaz was working on.
Clothes rustled. Then another moan.
The pencil's tip trembled above the paper.
And then the most depraved moan of them all.
"WILL you cut it out?"
Big brown eyes lifted. Chopsticks paused halfway to plush lips. "But..."
"No, no, I don't care. You moan for me or you have your dinner elsewhere!"
"But... soba..."
"OUT!"
~*~