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Pranking the Master

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With 20/20 hindsight, Pete really should've known better than to goad Claudia into anything. Or think about goading Claudia into anything. At the time though...

"I still can't believe this kid thought a good idea for a prank was to give his buddy a sweater that makes you see the future," Steve said, shaking his head. "That was dangerous."

"Well, it was probably fine when he bought the lottery ticket, but trying to kill his girlfriend for going to be cheating on him was really not so cool," Claudia said. "Don't know why she was, though, he was kind of cute."

Steve smacked her upside the head. "He almost killed her. You don't want a guy like that, they're trouble."

"You're as bad as Joshua..."

"That was a truly lame prank," Pete said, trying to head off one of Claudia's "quit overprotecting me" rants. "Steve was right. It's a good thing they didn't mess with the master."

"Who's that?" Claudia asked.

Pete just looked at her, straightening his shirt.

"You?" Claudia asked. "Yeah, right!"

"What, I can prank with the best of them," Pete said. "And no one will get killed."

"Oh, it's on," Claudia said.

"Pete, Artie needs us," Myka said, poking her head into the living room of the inn.

"OK, I'm coming."

Steve looked at Claudia. "You're not planning on hacking into government databases are you?"

"We'll see what 'the master' comes up with first."

"He'll probably put shaving cream on your hand while you're sleeping so you get it all over your face," Steve said, dubiously.

"We'll see," Claudia said.

* * *

Claudia almost fell out of her chair laughing the next morning when Steve came down to breakfast.

Steve caught Pete in a headlock. "What did you put in my shaving cream? Peyo's special formula?"

"Peyo?" Pete asked, innocently, elbowing Steve in the stomach to get him to release the headlock. "I don't know what you mean."

"Pete, I know you're the reason my face turned blue!"

"Pete is that what you were doing with that razor late last night?" Leena asked, placing a plate of pancakes on the table.

"Claud, want help pranking the master?" Steve asked. "Since I seem to be fair game anyway."

"Was there any doubt?" Claudia asked. "I thought you were in on this anyway."

Steve just shrugged.

Artie walked in, and looked at Steve. He then smacked Pete.

"Don't touch things in the warehouse. Especially Peyo's razor."

"Who's Peyo anyway?" Myka asked.

"Creator of the Smurfs," Pete and Steve said in unison.

Artie just shook his head. "Not smart, Agent Lattimer."

* * *

Pete kept eying Claudia and Steve warily throughout the next couple days. He was inspecting everything before touching it. He knew he was being at least a little paranoid, since Artie had locked down the warehouse, so maybe that was why there bit of pay back was taking so long.

A few days later, he was sat in the B & B living room reading a book while Steve leafed through a magazine and Claudia was working on her computer. Pete was wondering if he should be looking over her shoulder to see what she was likely hacking into when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

A strange woman's voice replied, "Commander Chacotay, we have an emergency in Univille. Report to the coffee house immediately for a briefing."

Pete made a face. "Who is this?" He managed to swallow a "did Ralph Brunsky put you up to this?"

"This is Captain Janeway..."

"Look, lady, I don't know..."

"Pete, it's Ellen, I thought you said..."

"I'm sorry, it's who?"

"Ellen. JanewayGirl84 from OKCupid!"

"I'm sorry, who? From where?"

The woman said something rather lewd about what Pete could do with his profile and then hung up on him. He closed the phone, looking bewildered, and looked up at Steve and Claudia, who immediately burst into laughter.

"Tell me you recorded the other half of that conversation," said Steve between guffaws.

"All right here," Claudia said, holding up what appeared to be a thumb drive.

"Whose is that?" Pete asked suspiciously.

"Standard issue cell phone bug," Claudia said. "You know, since Artie has the Warehouse locked down."

"Voyager?" Pete asked, staring at her. "Seriously, *Voyager*?" He got up, starting towards Claudia, who dashed for the steps, shrieking.

He came down a few minutes later, glaring at Steve, who was still innocently thumbing through his magazine.

"How much were you in on that?"

"Admit it, Pete, she beat you, and she didn't even need to sneak something out past Artie," Steve said. "And may I just remind you how much time Claudia spent doing inventory before I joined the team, you're outgunned when Artie eases up."

"Nice try, Jinksy, but there's one thing you forgot," Pete said, coming closer.

"What's that?" Steve asked, closing the magazine.

"There's only one person on this team who knew that I hated Voyager because I thought Captain Janeway reminded me of my mother," Pete said.

"Oh?" Steve asked, though his eyes were darting to the exits.

Before he could move, Pete had him in a headlock, and was applying noogies to the top of his head.

"Which part of don't tell Claudia didn't you understand?" Pete asked.

Steve didn't answer. He was laughing too hard.