Actions

Work Header

Mysterious Individuals

Work Text:

MTuckerNo10
And we're back, for the exciting spectacle of American politics fucking itself up the arse yet again, and then claiming

MTuckerNo10
that it was never in that airport bathroom. My God, I forgot how fucking limiting this twittering thing is.

MTuckerNo10
I suppose there's something to be said for brevity, but I like to go on for a bit when I'm bollocking.

MayorEmanuel
@MTuckerNo10: You can say that a-fucking-gain

MTuckerNo10
@MayorEmanuel: Oh, it's you. Lovely. I'd hoped you were too busy with the affairs of your incredibly corrupt little town.

MayorEmanuel
I take time out just for you, Fucker.

MayorEmanuel
*Tucker

MTuckerNo10
You're a clever man, aren't you? Sharp enough that you'll cut the rest of your fingers off.

MTuckerNo10
Are you enjoying looking up Marilyn Monroe's skirt? I hear that's the attraction in Chicago these days.

MayorEmanuel
Yeah, I've worked my ass off for this city. Marilyn's better than the cows.

MayorEmanuel
Tourists flock from fucking everywhere to see her poorly-painted panties. We were going to string some lights up there, too.

MayorEmanuel
But we decided it would ruin the artistic vision. You wouldn't understand – it’s that culture shit, I know you never got the hang of it.

MTuckerNo10
I wasn't the one in the fucking Smithsonian, trying to decide if the drinking fountain was an installation or not.

MayorEmanuel
To be fair, I was shit-faced at the time.

MTuckerNo10
Ha. Good times. Almost makes me wish that I could go out to America again.

MTuckerNo10
I can't think why I ever stopped visiting.

MTuckerNo10
Some bother about the no-fly list, if I recall correctly. Hm. Fucking hm.

MayorEmanuel
You made an assassination attempt on the fucking Vice-President. You're on that list for life.

MTuckerNo10
I was only going to strangle him a little. You can't tell me you've never been tempted by his scrawny chicken's neck.

MayorEmanuel
Hah. So, what about this political commentary?

MayorEmanuel
Going to tell us what the Republicans are doing wrong? (Hint: everyfuckingthing)

MTuckerNo10
I'd clean forgotten about that. Let's see, where to start...

MTuckerNo10
Oh fuck, strategy meeting. I'll have to go. They creep up on you, like Julius Nicholson with a hat on.

MTuckerNo10
I usually rely on his bald patch as a beacon, you know. Fucking useful, I should shave everyone's heads.

MayorEmanuel
Dick Cheney was the same way. Up until he got so drenched in fucking oil money that it dulled the sheen.

MayorEmanuel
So if you're going, I guess me and Quaxelrod will pick up the slack.

MayorEmanuel
I've been talking about this a lot (fucking obviously). I miss Cain's campaign, though.

MayorEmanuel
Barrel of laughs, until all the scandal stuff. Me and Mark Block are fucking kindred spirits.

MTuckerNo10
Wait, wait, wait. Quaxelrod? The fucking duck? Is this that fake twitter? The one run by that journalist with a beard down to his balls?

MayorEmanuel
...Hey. Yeah, fucking fake account here.

MTuckerNo10
For fuck's sake. Chatting with a fucking fake. Me and Michelle Bachmann.

MayorEmanuel
At least you're prettier than she is.

MTuckerNo10
That's fucking RIGHT.

MTuckerNo10
Also, love the duck. Quaxelrod! Makes me crack up, every time.

MTuckerNo10
I'm going to go tell Ollie that he's fired, I need some fucking useful livestock in here. Maybe an iguana.

MayorEmanuel
...God Speed, Mr. Fucker.