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Out of Pocket

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Kim opened a door and hid her surprise when she found Ramona standing on the other side.

“Lurk much?” she said.

Ramona took this as the friendly greeting it was, and grinned. Her turquoise hair matched her skirt, nail polish and the eyelets of her sneakers.  

“Hey. Let’s go on an adventure.” Matching words to action, Ramona grabbed Kim’s hand and tugged her back through the doorway.

“Wai—“ Kim started to say, but it was chased away by the black void of the subspace highway.

They were falling for a long time, Ramona’s hand tight in Kim’s. As Kim stared down at Ramona’s manicured nails, she wondered idly if she was underdressed for adventure. Then she remembered that she didn’t care.

Traveling like this was amazingly easy now. Kim barely felt like vomiting at all. She must have said as much to Ramona, who smirked and responded, “Everything is easier now that I’m not trapped in my head with an evil-ex.”

It was true, too. Ramona laughed more and volunteered information freely. She teased Kim about going back to school together and crashing sorority parties. She apparently thought nothing of kidnapping a friend for a hand-holding adventure. And her hand was soft and warm, wrapped around Kim’s.

Kim desperately looked for a distraction from her brain. She frowned. “Was that a cactus back there?”

“No?” Ramona sounded a bit shifty, but Kim was pretty sure that Ramona had not brought her out tonight to fight a death match for Scott’s love. Unless she was actually Knives Chau (17 years old) in disguise.

Kim liked Knives Chau (18 years old) a lot better.   

They landed on a beach. The waves came in soft along the shore. Ramona threw herself onto the sand with abandon. Kim winced, thinking of sand in uncomfortable places, and remained standing until Ramona patted the area next to her meaningfully.

If only Kim were less inclined to be nice to people whose names rhymed with Sharona Powers.

Staring at the night sky, Kim resolutely ignored all the wriggling Ramona was doing to get comfortable on the sand. It seemed to require stretching and little pleased exhalations.

“Where’s Scott?” Kim asked.

“Oh, he’s off fighting two Rock’Em Sock’Em robots that put aside their mutual enmity to steal Scott’s lunch money at Julie’s party.”

“….I’m sorry I asked.”

Ramona had somehow maneuvered herself close enough to lean in the short distance that separated their bodies on the sand and whisper, “So was I.” Kim could hear her mouth shaping the words. “But like you always say. He’s Scott Pilgrim. He’ll be fine.” Her words were little puffs of air along Kim’s face, a thrilling counterpoint to the steady tide.

Kim stared resolutely up at the stars and took even breaths.

Ramona’s voice carried clearly over all other noise. “Did you know? If you put Saturn in water, it would float.”

“Really?” Kim turned her head to gauge how serious a statement that was and made the mistake of catching Ramona’s eyes. Eyes that were incredibly close.

“Really.” Ramona breathed the word out against Kim’s mouth, and her pulse raced. The shock of that barely-there contact propelled her forward to press her lips against Ramona’s smile, easy and open.

It was effortless from that point. Ramona laughed against her mouth and pulled her closer by the arm, kissing awkwardly on their sides. But it was the best kind of awkward, the kind that happened only to protect you from exploding with overwhelming awesome. It melted away as Ramona rolled them so Kim was flat on her back, pressed against the sand in Ramona’s arms.

There was a shell or a rock digging against Kim’s shoulder blades, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t care, not with the weight of Ramona’s torso—so familiar from late-night drinking sessions, and yet so exhilaratingly new—pressed against her chest.

Kisses led to more kisses, and when they broke for air, Kim laid little open-mouthed kisses against Ramona’s neck, provoking giggles. The sound was too precious to bear, and Kim’s arms tightened reflexively around Ramona’s back, trying to get closer.

Ramona slid a hand under Kim’s shirt, and Kim gasped for breath, felt the ground shaking underneath their --


A crash sounded on the sand, and Kim wrenched her eyes away from Ramona. A few feet away was a gigantic purse with a star on it. “Hey,” she said weakly, “isn’t that your old purse?”

Ramona sat up and immediately Kim missed her warmth. “Yeah, it is….” She trailed off, looking thoughtful. Kim absolutely resented that Ramona was capable of thinking. Especially since her pensive expression made Kim want to kiss her again so badly. Intelligent expressions were a definite turn-on, and the stars made the red highlights of the purple dye stand out against Ramona’s face.

Except that Kim had been running her hands through turquoise strands a few minutes ago.  

Before she could even formulate the question, Ramona caught her mouth in a crushing kiss that stole the remaining air in her lungs and made her body flush with desire.

Unfortunately Kim was unable to get her brain functioning before Ramona leapt up from the sand and sped off, diving into the purse that had so rudely interrupted them.

“I’ll catch you later, Kim!” Her voice echoed from the depths of subspace storage. So that’s what Ramona had needed all of Kim’s oxygen for.

Dammit. She was so breathless and turned-on that her ears were ringing.




The screeching alarm clock rattled off the nightstand when Kim abruptly sat up, hands clenched around her sheets. She deliberately relaxed her grip. What a mess. Never again would she drink the punch at one of those stupid theme parties. Not even if it was a rainbow. Not even if she urgently needed a sweet shield from the stupidity of her surroundings. She could still taste the tropical sherbet and grape soda on the roof of her mouth.

One of Julie’s parties would give her a bitch of a dream. It was the natural consequence of too much bitchery at one gathering.

Sighing, she made to get out of bed. And jerked to a stop. Sand emptied out of her bra and spilled across her feet.

Kim wiggled her toes. That was definitely sand there. Her mouth was suddenly very dry. She tried licking her lips, but the muscles of her face were doing something weird and wouldn’t respond.

It might have been a smile.