This isn’t how it begins:
Koki says, “Kame-chan I love you. Kame-chan I love you. Kame-chan I love you.” A sentence for every time his hand pulls the bell’s rope. A prayer for every time his mouth speaks the sentence. A wish for every time the bell chimes.
(here I am; here I am; here I am--)
Kame laughs and smiles and says, “but I’m here though, so you don’t need to ring the bell to call out to me.”
He’s looking at Koki, with a smile that’s directed only at Koki, but--
But he doesn’t see Koki.
This is also not how it begins:
“KAME-CHAN I LOVE YOU!” Koki screams into his mic, loud and clear as he goes, honest as he always is. The Tokyo Dome’s sound system screams his words back at him--except much louder and in stereo.
Amidst the roaring of their fans, he’s waving his hands high in the air, high above his hands, from his place on the still moving stage in the center of the Tokyo Dome, while Kame’s standing with Nakamaru and Ueda on the main stage, right in front of the giant monitor – which is currently showing Kame’s reaction to Koki’s words: a laughing face, with his eyes nearly disappear and his grin showing teeth, and. And this slight blush to his cheeks – which Koki can’t decide whether it’s from embarrassment or anger or perhaps residual make-up, since it’s shown on the monitor, and no matter the quality of the monitor, it still can’t beat the real thing, and. And Koki’s totally regretting the fact that he has to get on the moving stage for his solo performance, because, aww. By the time the song ends and he joins the others on the main stage, that flush on Kame’s cheeks would have gone away.
Which is just. Aww, man.
But just now, even far away in the other side of the dome as he is, he still could tell Kame’s looking at him; really, really looks at him, at Koki and Koki alone, and Koki is just—
Even small baby steps is still a step, Koki thinks.
So he waves back furiously, jumping up and down on his moving platform, watching Kame’s profile in the distance—all the while their fans keep cheering him on.
This is still not how it begins:
It is Valentine day, and Koki is busy throwing chocolate with the words I Love You and I really, really like you and Would you be my Valentine? and Would you be mine? to Kame, who obligingly catches each one and deposits them near his messenger bag.
Here, have my heart, Koki thinks, sending Kame a chocolate with a simple I ♥ U written on top.
Kame catches it with an amused smile – the same amused smile he displays every time he decides to humor his bandmates’ antics. He keeps looking at Koki, but when Koki just crosses his arms over his chest, a smug smile on his face, Kame raises an eyebrow at him.
“What, done already?” Kame says, smiling. “But there are still some more chocolate gifts on that box over there. Wanna to play catch with them too?”
Koki blinks. And blinks. And then he opens his mouth. Closes it. And then blinks some more.
Kame thinks this is a game.
Koki stomps his foot. And then throws the aforementioned box of chocolate at Kame’s head, hitting him square on the forehead.
“Ow.” Kame says, rubbing his forehead.
“BaKame!” Koki exclaims, and then proceeds to sulk in the corner of the room.
Hmmph. One step forward, two steps back.
Kame only looks at Koki’s back in bewildered fashion. “Eh? Eh? But, but. What did I do? Koki?”
On the other side of the room, Ueda nearly kills himself laughing.
This is also still not how it begins:
“Kamenashi Kazuya, I love you. Marry me. And then let’s go on a cruise in the Atlantic, with no one but us and the icebergs.” Koki says in the middle of crowded hall of the Johnny’s Entertainment HQ, earning him the full attention of the dozens people milling the area. And then he adds, “Also, let’s have lunch. We’ll go anywhere you like.”
All in all, it’s a good proposal, Koki thinks, beaming proudly.
Ueda coughs conspicuously.
The hall holds its breaths collectively.
“Sure.” Kame says, beaming back at Koki. And then, just as Koki’s heart is about to soar into the sky, Kame adds, “Let me get Junno and Maru, and then we can go together.”
There’s a loud crack sound, which those with poetic souls would describe as Koki’s heart breaking; in reality, it’s the sound of a junior accidentally dropping his soda can to the floor, making a mess everywhere.
…that little commotion breaks the spell, and suddenly the hall is alive again as people continue to mind their own business, studiously pretending Koki’s little scene never happens.
Kame continues to smile in that oblivious manner. “What?”
“Nothing.” Koki says. “Go get them then.”
And Kame does just that, turning his back and running to the elevator—but not before he gives Koki a little wave.
There’s a dull thud sound, which those with poetic souls would describe as Koki’s mind breaking; this time, it’s not too far off, since Koki has just banged his head on the wall. Repeatedly.
“Need help?” Ueda says with a smirk.
“Shut up.” Koki says, manfully trying to hold back his manly tears.
Next time, Koki vows. Just wait for the next time.
This is also nearly how it begins:
“Kame-chan I love you.” Koki says, trailing behind Kame as they make their way to the parking lot.
“Okay.” Kame says with a smile.
“No, seriously. I really do love you. Like, a lot. More than a lot, even! Like, really, really love, and not just like! Also, are you listening to me here?”
“Sure.” Kame says, and pats Koki’s bald head.
“I reaaallly, reaaaalllly love you.” Koki keeps saying, “and I’m very serious about this. Like, for real.”
“Of course.” Kame says.
“Kamenashi Kazuya, I mean it! I love you! Like, totally! And completely! And—“
“Okay.” Kame says.
“Kaaaammeee!” Koki whines, “You’re not listening to me, are you? I love you! In that boy loves girl way! Er. I mean, boy loves boy way! Wait, that doesn’t sound right. I mean, in the utterly besotted way! Like, definitely!”
“Sure.” Kame says.
“I mean, like, seriously! I love you! Like, you’re the only for me! like, totally!”
“Of course.” Kame says.
…and they keep on for a while.
“Don’t you think we should put a rest to this?” Nakamaru asks Ueda, as they trail behind Kame and Koki, unwittingly becoming witnesses to their embarrassing antic.
“But it’s adorable.” Ueda says. “Just let them be.”
Nakamaru sighs. “I despair of you, sometimes.”
Ueda only continues to smile cheerfully.
It starts with a bang, and not a smile.
“I like you.” Kame says.
Be still my heart, Koki thinks. “Well.” Koki says. “I. I mean, I—“
Koki opens his eyes. Stares at his ringing desk clock blankly. And then turns over to his side, and starts crying on the inside.
Why was it, Koki thinks, Even in dreams, there’s still no proper reply?!