If you’d told Adam when the whole Idol hurrah began that he’d be sitting at a social media summit as a Grammy nominated artist after headlining his first world tour, he would’ve laughed, but probably would’ve believed you. However, he would never have expected to be in said situation while pregnant. The father was one of his band mates.
I’m sure you’re all wondering how the fuck Adam’s band mate knocked up his boss. Well, it’s a funny story really, or it will be in a few years I’m sure. After Adam gives birth, breastfeeds for a few months, and gets his body back into touring shape. Until then, well he kind of resents underestimating the crazy ass night that got him here. He regrets the night of course, not the pregnancy, never the pregnancy. After Scarlett gave birth he found his desire to be a father intensified, but he never expected this.
So while our glam god gestates his fetus, I’ll take the opportunity to clue you in the on the journey that led to this miracle of male pregnancy. Hold on tight kids, it’s one really weird ride.
Adam’s journey to motherhood didn’t start like most others. It began somewhere in the string of shows during the European tour. He couldn’t remember the city, only the frigid cold, snow, and an envelope waiting for him in his dressing room. Gifts from fans weren’t unusual, but the minute he’d walked in the envelope had caught his eye. It was red, or maybe a ruddy crimson; it was the color of blood after it sat on skin for a few moments. Even more unusual was the impeccable calligraphy: stark black but with texture, almost like it had been written with mascara. His name was neatly written in flowing writing, and it compelled him forward into the room and directly to the place where it was perched against a mirror.
“What is it?” Tommy’s voice came from somewhere behind him.
Adam couldn’t find the words to answer; he was in a trance. He watched his hand reach for the envelope as if it moved of its own freewill. He felt the coarseness of the paper between his fingertips, but also the warmth that radiated from it. It felt alive. He almost expected the front side of the envelope to expand with a breath, and his own breath was caught somewhere in his throat when he used one black-tipped finger to break the black wax seal. Only after it was broken did he realize that the seal had been stamped with the image of a mother and child intertwined. Mechanically he pulled the card from the envelope. It too was red, the image of mother and child outlined in black. He opened it and breathed out slowly while he read.
You’ve always been a believer in the stars aligning. You thought the stars had aligned when the Idol whirlwind began, but alas dear boy, the stars that shine so brightly on your horizon are aligning at this very moment. In the days and weeks that follow, you will be very susceptible to new life in any form it chooses to find you. Have caution. If the universe perceives your decisions as being made in perfect love and perfect trust you will be bestowed a gift. I know what you are thinking, but be wise, all gifts aren’t ones you desire.
Adam felt a shiver course through him, and with it came heat and a searing pain from his head to his toes. His insides were on fire and he gasped and fell to his knees. The next thing he knew the world around him faded to black.
The Fates had decided to warn our clueless Adam, but I guess by now you know what his decisions led to. That being said you still deserve the opportunity to see Adam’s choice, the one he made when his stars were in perfect harmony with the rest of the universe.
The pain had passed, and while the warning was a nagging presence in the back of his mind, he still really couldn’t make sense of it. The venue medics had been the first images to swim into vision after waking. The next was Tommy with his brows furrowed in concern, squeezing Adam’s fingers and trying to smile.
That had been a long afternoon, but by the evening he was feeling like his normal self and had been cleared to perform. Tommy, right by his side, watched him like a hawk for any excuse to drag him off stage to rest. Tommy didn’t get his wish though and the show was a roaring success.
The days that followed were relatively normal. Stage, bus, stage, hotel, day off, each day just like the rest, but Adam couldn’t shake the feeling of impending…not doom. Doom wasn’t the feeling that coursed through his blood; it was anticipation, waiting, though for what he didn’t know.
The Earth it seemed, tilted on its axis somewhere in the days before Amsterdam. Adam and Tommy had always been close, and had become closer in the weeks following the passing of Tommy’s father. This was new though, different, and every molecule in Adam begged him to do things he couldn’t understand. Stage gay, for Tommy was a stage gay, and had been since the beginning. Until now. With Tommy settled beside him in his lair, hair mussed up, exhaustion lining Tommy’s features, it was different. The easy closeness and affection felt revved up tenfold and to Adam’s surprise Tommy kissed him, slow and sweet, and it was everything Adam had fathomed it could be. He melted into Tommy’s embrace and that night he begged. He begged for anything that Tommy would give him, and so what if that happened to cross every line he’d ever made for himself and his employees. There was not a chance he could’ve stopped it, even if he’d wanted to. The slow, slick slide of Tommy’s dick inside him was it. It was the only thing he could think of, giving up control and letting someone else guide him to the stars.
That wasn’t the night the pregnancy came to pass, I know that for sure, but neither Adam nor I have been able to pinpoint the date it happened. Not for sure anyway. Amsterdam is the earliest, the last show in LA the latest. Each fateful encounter was a blur of their usual roles. Adam was normally a top, and after the first night he bottomed for Tommy it only happened a few more times, accompanied with the haze of weed, alcohol, and love thrumming through his veins. I’m not sure he realized it then, but I could see it. It was in the glitter of his eyes, the submission, and the way their bodies tangled as they lay together in the afterglow. Those boys had a perfect love; they were made to be one.
Amsterdam came with a flurry of excitement and joy that crept like a current beneath Adam’s skin. The hum of electricity seemed to pass like a closed circuit between he and the band and was heightened by the joint that passed freely from one hand to another. The show that night was nothing short of mind-blowing and when Adam kissed Tommy during Purple Haze he licked the flavor of pot smoke from Tommy’s mouth.
After the show Adam and Tommy had their own little party in Adam’s hotel room. Adam had smiled, smoke curled from his lips and he pressed them to Tommy’s. That was the first time without a condom. Tommy laid Adam out on the bed and with the pot making him loose and lax Tommy easily used lube-slicked fingers to work him open. It didn’t occur to him then that Tommy had forgotten the condom, nor would it the handful of other times it happened. That night though, with Tommy’s cock buried to the hilt inside him, Adam couldn’t remember sex feeling any better. His entire body was slack with pleasure and with each thrust of Tommy’s hips he felt like he was being molded into something new. And when he came, starbursts lit behind his eyes, and the sounds of Tommy’s release were moaned into his ear. Adam couldn’t remember a time where it felt like he and his partner had released together, but that night the whole universe was in harmony.
I don’t think that was the night either, but I couldn’t say for sure. The Fates seemed very pleased that night, but knowing those meddling bitches they were probably sending Charlie Sheen vibes to make him crazy.
That’s beside the point though. You now know the first possible date of conception, November 20th 2010.
The last possible date was several weeks later, December 16th 2010, but I’m not sure if it was that night either.
Adam wasn’t used to going home after a show, but this one was the last; there wasn’t a tomorrow to prepare for. Mind you he’d consumed more than his fair share of alcohol during the after party with Tommy’s warmth pressed against his side. It felt only natural to drag Tommy home with him. He wasn’t ready to sleep in his own bed alone.
“What a wild ride,” Tommy purred against Adam’s bare skin. It felt right for them to strip down as they swayed, no longer steady on their feet.
“Yeah the driver had a fondness for his breaks didn’t he?” Adam replied and tumbled into bed beside Tommy.
Tommy’s laughter rang out high, bright, and infectious and Adam’s own giggles spilled from his lips. “I meant the tour, jeez, you really are toasted. Man, I really ain’t that drunk, or tired, hard as a fucking rock though.” Tommy’s voice was still rich with restrained laughter, but his observation caused Adam’s dick to take notice.
“Right, the tour was… yeah… I never dreamed I’d be headlining an international tour when all this started. I had an amazing band though, and this really hot submissive little bass player. He and I had the fans in the palms of our hands, and whattaya know… little subby bass player turned out to be quite the toppy little shit.” Adam laughed when the word submissive got his hands pinned above his head, Tommy’s lean body pressed against him. He’d no sooner finished speaking than Tommy was licking into his mouth. It seemed it always started with a kiss. Sometimes Adam dominated it, like in Amsterdam, and sometimes it was Tommy’s game. Tonight it was Tommy’s and Adam’s fingers itched to touch Tommy’s skin, but the grip on his wrists was firm. When Tommy finally released his hold it was only to urge Adam onto hands and knees.
“Wanna see that ass up in the air for me, you know you’ve got such a hot ass, and tight, yeah I’m pretty sure your ass is a gay man’s dream.” Tommy said.
Adam tensed at the words, because Tommy wasn’t gay. What did that mean for their future together?
“I know you’re my dream,” Tommy whispered, and it was so soft that Adam wasn’t sure he’d heard it. His heart swelled more than he wanted to admit. Tommy’s fingers brought him back to reality and his cock stiffened while Tommy tapped against his spot. Just before he was sure he was going to come, the fingers slipped away and were replaced by the smooth, slick head of Tommy’s cock.
Adam spread his legs impossibly wider, his cock brushing against the comforter as Tommy slid inside in one smooth thrust. He sank into the pillow, shut his eyes, and just enjoyed Tommy driving him closer to orgasm one thrust at a time.
Adam was pretty sure he was mumbling incoherent praise, but he couldn’t hear it over the blood rushing in his ears. Everything was about the push pull of Tommy inside him, the heat of Tommy’s sweaty chest against his back, and the sudden sharpness of teeth in his shoulder blade at the same time fingertips dug into his hips. Then everything came faster, the whoosh of his breath from his lungs when Tommy hit his spot, his heart beating in his ears, and the rush of sensations that coursed through him. He knew he was fighting a loosing battle, and with one final thrust his body nudged forward and down, pressing his dick into the sheets. It throbbed and he cursed, come rushed like lava up his cock, and he finally got the delicious release with Tommy’s name on his lips.
He shuddered and Tommy collapsed into a sweaty heap onto his back. It was a slow process, but Tommy finally pulled out. Adam groaned and shifted to wrap his arms around Tommy. “I… Tommy… I love you,” Adam whispered.
“Love you too Adam, really man, you’re my best friend and maybe... I mean what are we?”
“Depends on what you want baby,” Adam said and trailed his fingers through soft blond strands. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be, be it friend, or more…”
“With the tour and everything, I think I’ve just taken it for granted that we were always close. Now that it’s over, I just… I don’t think I’m ready to be without you,” Tommy confided.
“That doesn’t really tell me anything other than the fact that you wanna keep in touch…”
“Does the fact that I really don’t wanna go home clarify it for you?”
That, my friends, was the night Adam’s relationship with Tommy changed from friends who occasionally had sex to the official real deal. They didn’t know, but that night their destinies had been decided. Their future together had already been sealed when two quite literally became one.
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. What about the Finnish dude? Well Sauli was convenient, and a friend that Adam enjoyed spending time with. He also happened to be a good cover for the time being. Adam and Tommy had agreed that it would be better for Adam to make appearances with Sauli until he secluded himself to record the next album. Tommy insisted he didn’t want to take the chance of hurting Adam’s record sales for his sophomore album. It was decided they would come out as a couple after the album dropped in the fall. After the fragile first month of album sales was calculated. They didn’t know it then, but the seclusion wouldn’t just be about the recording anymore.
That pretty much brings us into the present aside from Adam’s discovery of his pregnancy. I’ll give you a peak into that now.
The tour had been finished for quite a few days. Adam had several meetings with his record company laying the plans to begin writing and recording. It was all really exciting, but the best part was getting to sleep in and waking up relaxed with a sleep-mussed Tommy against him.
It was about two weeks post-Glamnation when it began. Adam woke up around eleven that morning alone. The bed was empty but still warm on Tommy’s side. He sat up, stretched, and slowly managed to get himself upright. He had slept like the dead and his body was sore and stiff with it. After shaking out his limbs and stretching his muscles a little more he went to the bathroom to take care of his business and then shuffled down the hall in search of Tommy.
He heard movement in the kitchen and followed the sound until he was saw the line of Tommy’s back hovering over something on the stove. Before he could speak the scent of bacon wafted into his nose, his stomach turned, and he was running for the bathroom.
Bile burned Adam’s throat and he gagged, hovering over the toilet bowl. His face was burning up and his head pounded. He spit once more into the water after the gagging passed and sat back on his knees. Tommy was there with a cold cloth in hand and had it pressed to his forehead. “Thanks.” Adam’s voice cracked slightly on the word and the cool from the cloth seeped into his skin.
“Welcome, not feeling well this morning?” Tommy asked, lines of worry creasing his forehead.
“I… no I was fine when I got up… the smell of the bacon though. My stomach is apparently on strike against bacon.”
“Ahh, okay then, no bacon for you. Maybe some dry toast?”
Adam thought about it for a minute, even imagined fresh toast and the idea didn’t turn his stomach. “Yeah maybe.”
“Take your butt back to bed, can’t have you in the kitchen with the scent. I’ll bring you some toast. I even think there’s some Ginger Ale in your fridge from where your momma stocked up the kitchen. I’ll bring you some presuming I didn’t imagine it.”
“Thanks, baby,” Adam replied and shifted to one knee. Tommy was there with an arm braced under his, supporting him while he stood. Adam was still a little queasy but couldn’t help smiling at Tommy. Tommy rubbed his back for a minute and made sure he was steady on his feet before disappearing to the kitchen. Adam grabbed the damp rag that had slid from his forehead and tossed it into the hamper. He flicked on the faucet, splashed his face with cool water, washed out his mouth and still dripping, went back to their room.
That was the beginning of something Adam never could’ve imagined. He didn’t think anything of it at the time, but after several weeks he began to wonder why that queasy feeling was always there at a moment’s notice.
January came and with it Adam’s birthday. His party had been a success and his fans had given him the gift of a lifetime. He should’ve been on top of the world, but instead after a glass of wine to toast the date and birth of his godson, he found himself again in the bathroom heaving up the contents of his stomach.
Now of course by this time Tommy was worried. It wasn’t like Adam to puke his guts up all the time and every dark scenario of what could be wrong had crossed Tommy’s mind. It was around Adam’s birthday that Tommy wondered if Adam might’ve picked up a little something extra on the tour. I, of course, was busy laughing my ass off at that idea because I knew the truth.
No, condoms aren’t one hundred percent protection against sexually transmitted diseases, but our Adam is an old dog with not too many new tricks. After Tommy came into his life like a tiny tornado, Adam’s sex life really dwindled. Before he and Tommy hooked up, Adam’s only sexual partner was his hand or the occasional blowjob.
Adam’s justification for giving up sex had nothing to do with a fantasy of being with Tommy. Adam, our sweet, loving Adam wanted to make sure he was one hundred percent there for Tommy. With it being Tommy’s first tour, Adam didn’t want to see him get lost in the insanity. This turned out to be a good decision on Adam’s part because Tommy always came to Adam when he was afraid life was going to swallow him whole.
Why is this important? Because it created a trust between them, which later helped to quickly squash Tommy’s worries about Adam being unfaithful. Instead Tommy poured over Adam’s symptoms online until crazy hours in the morning.
Adam had never held a newborn, and with little Riff in his arms every stray thought about having a family someday came rushing in. It was one of those moments he was sure he would never forget as he sat in the hospital room beside Scarlett and cooed like every idiot does at a newborn. Tiny fingers wrapped around his index finger, and for just a second, blue eyes focused on him. Adam kissed those tiny fingers and sent a wish out to the universe to keep this new little water bearer safe and happy always.
The moment was broken when Lee returned with coffee. The scent railed him and after a moment of panic he held his breath until he could get Riff back into his mother’s arms. Then it was straight to the bathroom where he threw up for the third time that day. When he was finished he washed out his mouth and exited the bathroom.
“You okay?” Scarlett asked.
“Yeah, just certain scents and, well, here lately just feeling queasy. Been going on since just after the tour. Thought my body was adjusting to being back home, but I don’t know. It’s weird. Like now, the coffee set my stomach off and made me sick, but I feel okay at the moment. Well, I mean minus the nasty burning in my throat and the slight unsteadiness of my stomach it’s kinda like nothing happened.”
“Been there, morning sickness is pretty much just like that. Bless Lee’s heart he tried so hard to be there for me. I would vomit at certain scents or just random times in the day for no real reason. They say it’s the hormone levels, but I really think this little guy was having a party in there or something. You though, you should probably check with a doctor. Honey, this doesn’t seem quite like you even after overcoming tour schedules. It’s been over a month.”
“Yeah, I’ve just been trying to put it off. You know how much I love doctors.”
“Since it’s been going on for over a month and Tommy hasn’t caught it, I’m not gonna chew you out for visiting my baby, but really man, you should get that checked,” Lee piped in after listening to them intently.
“Shit, I mean, crap.” Adam covered his mouth and winced at Scarlett’s death glare. “At this rate I think Tommy’s trying to find ways to trick me into going to the doctor’s office. He’s been looking up my symptoms on one of those damn diagnosis websites and I think all the possibilities have gone to his head.”
“He just loves you. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t be after you to get checked out,” Scarlett advised, then nuzzled Riff closer to her chest when he started to fuss.
“I know,” Adam replied.
By this time Adam had conceded there was probably a problem. I of course was already in the know about the true reason for his issues. The Fates were thrilled by this point and were closely guarding Adam against anyone that would interfere with their handiwork. It was the beginning of February when Sauli suddenly had to return to Finland for a casting call, leaving Adam and Tommy to work through their realization that Adam was pregnant.
The Fates didn’t think Adam could deal with discovering the pregnancy while still putting up the pretense that he was dating someone else. Seclusion came sooner than planned and Adam’s work on the album was kick-started just in time for the big kaboom I had been waiting for.
Adam had been hiding out in the studio recording when his throat would let him (all the vomiting had caused some damage) and when it wouldn’t, he wrote lyrics. He’d gotten to the point of keeping a notepad in the bathroom at the studio so he could make the most of his day even when he was pretty sure his stomach had just been projectile vomited through his mouth. The lyrics came in lulls of sickness and were some of the most inspired things he’d ever written, which Adam definitely couldn’t wrap his mind around.
It was a few days prior to The Grammys when Tommy ambushed Adam. The nausea was particularly strong that morning and he’d had to drive back home about three hours into his attempted session time. He’d pulled over a couple of times on the way and left traces of his breakfast in the grass.
Home. Adam was so relieved to be there that for once in his life he honestly didn’t notice the fact that Tommy’s car was in the driveway. His only thought was getting in his own bed and curling up for the day and hoping to get his stomach calmed the fuck down. As fate would have it the door opened before he reached it, and there was Tommy, face pale as a sheet. Tommy was holding a red card in his hand and a box in the other.
“I’ve searched a million times, and the constant puking… the card. Adam, I kept it because it had its own presence. It felt important. I think I know why it’s important. We didn’t regard its warning.”
“What? You know as well as I do any crazy ass fan could have cooked that up.”
“Yeah, but I’ve sat here for the past week trying to figure out what’s wrong with you since your stubborn ass won’t see a doctor. You know what keeps surfacing in these searches? Morning sickness… fuck Adam… yeah, I realize that sounds crazy, but I went back to the letter. It said you would be receptive to new life in any form it found you. You fucking doubled over in pain and passed out after reading it. How many times did we have sex after that?”
“I don’t know for sure either, but I know you bottomed for me several times. On nights when I was drinking or high… I don’t… fuck!” Tommy bit his lip, “Adam, I don’t fucking remember using condoms some of those nights. I don’t know why the fuck it only occurred to me now.”
Forgive me for interrupting your regularly scheduled peek into their discovery, but I gotta tell you those Fate bitches had something to do with that. Adam and Tommy were both very responsible with condoms, no matter the situation. The Fates intervened and clouded their thinking. Adam was destined to get pregnant. The Fates made it happen.
And now back to your look inside.
“But men can’t…” Adam trailed off, his gut tightening with something akin to terror.
“I know, but… just take the test.”
Adam sighed and took the box from Tommy.
And I know you can guess the result. Our boys were going to be parents.
Adam spent that evening going through several emotions. Fear was the thing that hummed through his veins the loudest. In his mind he replayed every stupid thing he’d done since receiving that envelope. Every sip of alcohol, puff of weed, and calorie skipped in order to make his tour function. With those worries came another. The horrid realization that he and Tommy were on their own, since today’s society definitely couldn’t handle the miracle of male pregnancy. This of course led to Tommy’s snark comment about the insanity of people’s willingness to buy a virgin birth. Tommy was right though. They’d be on their own. Many hours were spent with tears and fears, but through all of it they concluded they would hide Adam’s pregnancy. Since Adam didn’t know for sure how far along he was, he was going to make an effort to finish writing and recording as soon as possible and spent the rest of his pregnancy in seclusion.
The next morning found Adam tumbling out of bed in a blur to the bathroom. Once his dry heaves settled he found himself in front of the mirror. His chest was bare and the pudge he had blamed on alcohol was transformed before his eyes. There was a baby in there. He ran a hand over the swell of skin and tears pricked at the corner of his eyes.
By now I’m sure you realize that with the knowledge of the pregnancy came an awareness Adam didn’t have before. By no means was the shock of it forgotten or the fears abated, but now that Adam knew why the sickness came, he was headed toward acceptance.
It was three days from the social media summit, and while out of the public eye Adam had found himself rubbing the tiny bump that was forming. It wasn’t something he really thought about.
I bet you see where this is going.
The social media summit was interesting. Adam knew he’d become reliant on technology, but he hadn’t realized the extent of his dependence was until he was checking his phone just seconds before he joined the panel.
Afterward there were a flurry of interviews and Adam was highly aware of the shirt he was wearing. It barely concealed the small swell of his stomach and he was paranoid he was going to draw attention to the bump.
During the last interview of the day it happened. Adam was in the middle of a sentence when his stomach grumbled and he unconsciously smoothed a hand over his belly. It didn’t dawn on him until after he’d done it and he was relieved that the interviewer hadn’t seemed to notice.
From that point on Adam was more careful about his actions. The Grammy’s went off without a hitch, well almost. Because when he started to get dressed he had a minor meltdown over the fact that his dress pants only barely closed, and he was convinced his shirt didn’t conceal the slight swell of his pecs well enough. It was then that I became suspicious of The Fates. I had an inkling that Adam was in for far more than he expected, but it was nothing more than that. An inkling.
The next couple of months were a whirlwind of recording and many hours spent trying to conceal the growing roundness of Adam’s belly and the fullness of his chest. Adam pushed himself so hard that it started causing small spats between him and Tommy. In the end it all dissolved in one instance of panic.
Adam had spent the entire day in the studio. The morning sickness had passed a few weeks ago and his throat felt clear and open. He belted out pieces of several tracks that needed editing and somehow lost track of time. When he left the studio it was going on six and he was feeling a tad lightheaded and quite pissed at the producers comment about his ‘beer belly.’
Adam knew the minute his foot hit the gas pedal that he shouldn’t have been driving, but all he wanted was to get back to Tommy as quickly as possible. By some trick of the universe (and even though he spaced out most of the drive) he pulled into his driveway, managed to get out and took two steps inside the front door before the world went black.
Peace, calm, serenity. The dreams were presented in flashes. Adam standing with a freckle-faced little girl on his hip, Tommy by his side holding another child, a boy, hair light as if it had been bleached by the sun. The little boy giggled and stuck a tiny finger in Tommy’s mouth. Tommy laughed and Adam did too, even more so when the little girl he was holding mimicked her brother’s actions.
The next dream lasted only a second. Adam and Tommy holding the hands of their children. Their backpacks were so large on their tiny frames as they walked onto the school bus.
And more vivid yet was a vision of his daughter, a teenager, the rounded face of a child now something between a child and a woman. His daughter going to her first school dance, and the way his heart tripped up a little in his chest when she took her date’s hand instead of his.
His son was the last. He was short like his father, and smiling brightly at the camera as he held his prom date close to his side. That same ache permeated Adam’s chest and then it was gone, invaded by the sound of crying and tears splashing his face.
Adam’s eyes felt all wrong when he opened them. The world tilted on its axis for a minute before the picture settled. The first thing he saw was Tommy, the second was the IV bag hanging on a coat hanger, hung from a coat rack beside his bed.
“Don’t speak!” Tommy promptly cut him off while wiping stubbornly at his red-rimmed eyes. “You need to rest. Sleep baby, we’ll talk about it later.”
Adam opened his mouth to speak and was promptly shushed again, but he had to know. “The babies, are the babies okay?” Adam asked, letting his hand fall to the pronounced belly he’d become so fond of.
“Babies? Baby, you’re confused. Sleep.”
A man wearing scrubs walked into his room. Their voices must’ve alerted this stranger to the fact that Adam was awake. He watched as the man injected something into the IV, and he melted back into the darkness before he could manage another word.
This time he sunk into it as the nothingness surrounded him. He didn’t realize how tired he really was until his mind was in that place. He embraced it, rolled around in it for a while, until reality tugged at his consciousness again. The words were so hard to grasp at first. He had to really hold them in his mind and touch them before they solidified into something more than sound, and when they did he was even more baffled. It was Tommy’s voice, shaky, raw, but still him. ‘Sorry’ was a reoccurring theme in this little monologue it seemed. As reality seemed closer to the surface, Adam’s fingers twitched. He realized Tommy was clutching his hand in a death grip.
“So sorry, Adam. Fuck, it’s all my fault. I did this to you. I wasn’t brave enough. I couldn’t handle it. I panicked…” The words abruptly halted when Adam squeezed Tommy’s hand in a weak grip, and he opened his eyes to see Tommy looking like someone had just kicked a puppy. No, make that killed a puppy.
“S’matter?” Adam slurred, his throat parched.
“When you collapsed I called Lane. I didn’t know what else to do. You were breathing, but I couldn’t get you to wake up so I asked her to find a doctor and get him here ASAP. I didn’t tell her anything other than you passed out, but Doctor Harris has been here for the past two days watching after you. He obviously knows there’s something I’m not telling him. He’s insisted that as soon as you got some more rest and fluids in you that he was bringing in an ultrasound machine to check the mass in your stomach. I know he’s bound by doctor patient confidentiality but I’m worried if he finds out you’re pregnant that it’s going to get out, baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave. This is all my fault…” Tommy trailed off. The look of helplessness clouding his eyes tugged at Adam’s heart. He reached for Tommy, and with all the strength he could muster he pulled Tommy into the bed beside him.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay.” The words were scratchy in his throat. Adam swallowed around the feverish ache and pressed a kiss to Tommy’s forehead. “Did Doctor Harris find out why I passed out?”
Tommy looked up from where his head was resting on Adam’s shoulder. “You know why, Adam.”
Adam knew, and guilt spilled through his chest. He’d gotten so wrapped up in working on the album that he hadn’t had anything to eat. He’d promised Tommy he would make sure to actually eat since it wasn’t just his own life he was looking after now. And he’d broken that promise.
I’ll go ahead and spoil the end by telling you that Doctor Harris was just the kind of doctor they would be thankful to know. Doctor Harris was young but very professional, and Adam and Tommy would discover later that he had also grown up as the son of a midwife.
It’s funny though. As I watched the events of the day transpire I was convinced that Adam would be the next headline on TMZ, but sometimes people surprise even me.
The next day Doctor Harris had an ultrasound machine delivered along with a technician. The technician, I would come to find later, was a little less professional about her job. That’s not to say she was a bad person or anything, I mean she never spilled the beans, but Adam would’ve been a lot less tense without her. Dani was a rare breed.
Adam was startled from sleep by what he was sure had to be a banshee judging by the octave of that shriek. His heart raced and he blinked rapidly until the weight of Tommy’s arm over his chest calmed him. The sound vanished and he heard Doctor Harris talking to someone in a very stern tone. It wasn’t until five minutes later that the good doctor walked in with a girl that couldn’t have been more than twenty-five. Her cheeks were flushed and a smile was plastered on her face as she looked back and forth between Adam and Tommy.
“You’ve got some lungs,” Adam said with a sly smile. The girl blushed an even deeper shade of red and her eyes flitted down to the floor.
“Sorry, David was explaining the reason I was here and I asked him who I would be doing the ultrasound on. At first I thought it was a coincidence and I asked David and he confirmed it was really you. I just… I’m sorry Mr. Lambert. I’m just a big fan.” She finally looked up at Adam and held out her hand. Adam took it, careful of the IV in his arm. “I’m Dani, it’s so good to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Dani. If I ever need someone to help me wail onstage I know who to call.”
Dani laughed. “So Mr. Lambert…”
“Adam,” Adam corrected.
“Alright, Adam, David told me you were unusually swollen in the midsection and he thought he felt a mass in your abdomen. Have you been tired lately? Sick? Anything out of the ordinary for you?”
Adam looked from Doctor Harris, or David as Dani kept referring to him, to Dani, and then down at Tommy. “Gonna have to tell them, baby,” Adam murmured to Tommy. Tommy nodded. “Not gonna believe me, but I’m sure it’s better than the alternative of having them fainting on our bedroom floor.”
“Yeah,” Tommy replied. “Let’s see how fast they try to commit us.
Adam glanced back at Dani; she seemed perplexed by the scene. He drew in a deep breath. “I’m pregnant. By some weird cosmic happening while I was on tour I got pregnant. I know you aren’t going to believe me, but when I started getting morning sickness, I took a pregnancy test.”
Dani’s eyes grew owlish, and when they fell on Adam again he saw that she looked nearly gray. “Adam, a positive pregnancy test in men is a sign of testicular cancer.”
“Yep, knew they wouldn’t believe you,” Tommy laughed and kissed Adam’s cheek, which caused Dani to gasp.
“You both believe he’s pregnant?” she asked.
“I don’t just believe it. I am.”
Dani backed out of the room and returned moments later rolling in a cart that Adam recognized to be an ultrasound machine. “Let me show you the truth.” Dani’s voice was soft and sounded resigned to the fact Adam had cancer.
Adam just smiled at Tommy and lifted his shirt to reveal the bulge of his belly. It looked like he was fat except for the weird warped shape just to the side of his navel. When Dani turned around she was holding a bottle. “This is going to be cold,” she warned before squeezing out a wavy line of the stuff onto his skin. It caused goose bumps to flair along his arms and he shivered as she brought the wand down onto his stomach. A couple of swipes through the gel and his belly shined in the sunlight that poured from the window. The wand pressed more firmly into his skin then and Dani froze; a gasp fell from her lips. It was several seconds later when she finally reached to the machine to adjust a dial and the pitter-patter of a heartbeat flooded the room.
Adam lost it. Tears streamed down his face and when he looked down at Tommy those brown eyes were glassy with tears. Adam finally looked back at the monitor as Dani scanned his midsection. She was silent, one hand probing his belly, and the other reaching back to grab David’s arm.
Tommy gripped Adam’s hand more firmly as David drew closer to the ultrasound machine, mouth gaping. Dani continued to investigate and Adam watched the screen. Adam smiled brightly, the blob on the screen becoming an image he could recognize. A tiny hand, a button nose, and the fluttering heartbeat that made happiness flare warm in his belly. As the wand moved along his abdomen the swishing beat became a chorus as another tiny body came into view.
“Twins.” Adam breathed the word, a tiny prayer to the universe.
“Twins?” Tommy squeaked.
“Twins,” Dani confirmed. “Holy… Adam… I can’t believe what I’m seeing here. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I would’ve sworn you were delusional.”
David made a sound of agreement and looked down at Adam’s belly. Adam could see the confusion and awe in David’s eyes. He knew then that David would protect his secret.
Now here’s where I tell you that the Fates were as surprised as David and Dani about the whole twins situation. You could hear those bitches crowing from a mile away. They were hooting and hollering like they’d just brought on the second coming of Elvis or some shit.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they all ended up with massive hangovers the next morning with as much wine as they consumed that night. It was a huge celebration. You know, I never really understood why they deemed it necessary to knock Adam up. Sure I had my part in the equation, but as far as I was concerned Adam and Tommy were meant to be. Perhaps the babies were just a bonus? Who knows, maybe I’ll figure it out. Maybe his children were destined to change the world. At the very least they changed Adam, because from the minute he knew of their existence he was never the same.
“Are they healthy, how far along am I, how are they even in there, what’s my due date…”
“How are they going to get out?” Tommy contributed.
Dani was flustered but quickly recovered long enough to tap something into the machine. “Hmm, well, looks like you’re measuring about seventeen weeks. That would mean you conceived sometime around the middle of December. Babies are a little small, but otherwise look very healthy. As far as how they’re in there, you have a fully formed uterus. I’ve never seen anything like it. Even with people who have both sets of organs, usually only one set is functioning. I have no idea how you got pregnant. You have a fully formed uterus but no ovaries, which means you didn’t produce an egg. As far as your due date, I’m showing September eighth, though with twins you may or may not make it to your due date. And Tommy, I would presume Adam would have to have a c-section since he doesn’t really have the proper equipment to give birth.”
“Okay, who could deliver them without causing a media sensation for me?”
“I don’t know, but David might,” Dani replied. Still holding the wand to his belly, Dani turned back to the machine.
“I… I might know someone. I’ll have to get in touch with him,” David sighed. “Either way though, you know the chances of this getting out are high. I realize you aren’t showing much yet with your height, but chances are in the next few weeks you’re going to pop. If you have any obligations you have to complete, try to finish them soon, or otherwise your belly is going to do all the talking for you.”
Adam nodded. He knew he would have to finish the album, and soon, but there were still at least eight tracks that needed vocals. He was going to have to push to finish those as quickly as he could, which would mean long days at the studio. Tommy must’ve been reading his mind because he looked up at Adam and frowned.
“You can’t overwork yourself, baby. You already passed out on me and I know it’s because you didn’t take the time to eat while you were at the studio yesterday. You can’t do that to yourself or the babies. If you go in to do any recording I’m coming with you and that’s non-negotiable.”
Adam merely nodded his assent.
“And Adam, make sure you’re eating healthy, watch your intake of fish, and don’t overdo it,” Dani added.
“My mom was a midwife, Adam,” said David. Since you’re going to need prenatal care I’ll come by and check your progress weekly. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, please call me. I’ll go ahead and tell you that I’m putting my ass on the line by doing this. I’m not a licensed midwife and I could get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out.” David’s voice belayed his nerves.
“Heh, yeah like I’m going to broadcast to the world that my bass player knocked me up and my midwife isn’t licensed. It would cause a sensation.”
David laughed and then looked down at Dani as she wiped up the gel on Adam’s stomach. “In the next few weeks you may feel some pains in your sides as your ligaments stretch to accommodate your growing belly. You also may find your feet swelling a little, that’s normal, but if you notice an unusually large amount of swelling call me immediately.”
“Okay, anything else?”
“Are you feeling any movement yet?”
Dani finished wiping his belly and Adam immediately reached to rub a hand down it. Tommy’s hand soon joined it and Adam laced their fingers together over his stomach. “Umm, I’m not sure. I mean sometimes before I fall asleep I kinda feel whisper-like touches, like maybe bubbles brushing against my skin. Then again I think because I’ve been paying so much attention to it that any little thing that feels different I think might be the baby… I mean babies.”
David nodded. “Pretty soon you’ll be able to define what’s your stomach and what’s actually them.”
Adam noticed Dani bouncing on her toes and the sound of a printer caught his ear.
“What am I missing?” Adam asked her.
“I just thought you might want pictures of your babies.” Once the noise finished Dani turned back to the machine, then handed Adam a sheet of scan pictures.
“Oh my.” Adam glanced down at the sheet. His heart jumped up into his throat and he smiled at Dani, hoping it said what he couldn’t manage to.
“You’re welcome, and hey, a little further into your pregnancy I’ll come back in with David. Hopefully then we’ll get a video of them for you, and determine the sex, even though I think you already have your suspicions. ”
The next two weeks I watched as Adam pushed himself to get as much of the album done as possible, while Tommy looked on exasperated and shoved food and water at Adam anytime he got the opportunity. They were excited, but also very nervous for the months to come and it was causing tension between them. So much so that during one particular incident Adam asked Tommy to leave the studio. Being a stubborn little thing, Tommy refused, and the rest of the day was spent with Adam casting dirty looks at him.
Adam knew it was silly, but he felt like he was losing his independence. He didn’t feel like he needed a babysitter, but after the ninth hour in the booth Tommy barged in with dinner that Adam had completely forgotten he needed. All was resolved with tender kisses over the stir-fry Adam hadn’t realized he’d been craving.
That evening I attempted to use my influence to prevent a disaster. I tried to make Adam realize that there were paparazzi looming outside, but he ignored the feelings of warning I thrust upon him. He and Tommy left the studio and were immediately accosted by the paps. A million questions about why Tommy was with him were thrown in his direction and much to my surprise, Adam gave a tight-lipped smile, grabbed Tommy by the hand and dragged him along, which made the two men look even more like a couple.
Later that night, Adam and Tommy took some time to reconnect, which was fortunate given the media shit-storm that awaited them the next morning.
Tommy and Adam arrived home, had dinner, and ambled tiredly into their bedroom.
Adam looked at the calendar and shook his head.
“What is it, baby?” Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam and pulled him close.
“It’s April fifteenth, I’m nineteen weeks today, can you believe it?”
“Not really, but it’s happening. David’s supposed to come by tomorrow to check you out since we agreed no recording on weekends.”
“Yes mom,” Adam chuckled and leaned in to kiss the pout from Tommy’s lips.
What began as a sweet kiss quickly turned heated and a spike of pleasure ran through Adam when Tommy’s grasped his hips through the baggy material of his hoodie. It was the best method of concealing his belly even though it looked ridiculous in the heat. The thought was forgotten though when nimble fingers tugged the hem up, revealing the bare skin beneath to the cooler air of their home. Tommy made an impatient sound in Adam’s mouth; Adam broke the kiss and bent enough so that Tommy could tug the hoodie and the shirt beneath it over his head. Then Tommy’s lips were there, warm and insistent as they pressed against his own. Callused fingers trailed his sides and he melted into the embrace, not knowing or really caring where this was heading as long as it had a happy ending.
“Baby,” Tommy groaned into Adam’s mouth when Adam pressed his palm against Tommy’s zipper.
“Hmm?” Adam murmured against Tommy’s lips.
Adam looked down at Tommy and portrayed his best innocent face as he groped at the heated flesh Tommy’s jeans just barely restrained.
Adam shivered at the desperation that bled from Tommy’s voice and quickly tugged Tommy’s shirt over his head. He grasped Tommy’s hands and lowered himself carefully to his knees. Tommy’s eyes grew darker, focused intently on Adam’s hands as they removed his jeans. When the offensive material was puddle at Tommy’s ankles he held onto Adam’s shoulders for balance long enough to toe off his shoes and jeans.
Adam pressed a kiss into Tommy’s hip and nuzzled his face into the soft pale skin there. A deep inhale and Tommy’s scent surrounded him and made his cock twitch in the confines of the low-rise jeans he’d been wearing lately.
“Please,” Tommy whimpered and laced his fingers into Adam’s hair, urging Adam toward his cock.
“Mmm, yeah. I got you, baby.”
Adam licked a line up Tommy’s cock and smiled at the way Tommy’s thighs quivered. He planted both hands on Tommy’s ass knowing his lover’s knees would be the next things to fail. He looked up at Tommy through his lashes and slowly drew the head of Tommy’s dick into his mouth. He savored the small gasp from Tommy’s lips when he pressed his tongue against the underside. He laved it with his tongue until Tommy’s knees buckled and he was holding Tommy’s weight in the palms of his hands. Only then did Adam pull away and shove Tommy the short distance from the vanity (where Adam had posted the calendar tracking his pregnancy) to the bed that they shared.
“Sorry,” Adam mumbled after he saw the pouty face Tommy gave him after he’d tumbled back onto the bed.
“You can make it up to me. Get those blasted pants off and lay your ass down so I can ride you.”
Adam frowned at that, but toed off his boots and peeled himself out of his jeans. He sighed in relief when his cock sprang free.
“Don’t give me that face. You were told not to overdo it. Just means I get to do all the work.” Tommy smirked and pulled Adam into a kiss when he finally settled onto the bed. Adam’s body however had other ideas; his back twinged and he winced. Laying flat was a no, he knew that, but Tommy didn’t. The whimper he breathed into Tommy’s mouth gave him away and Tommy immediately pulled back.
“I’m okay,” Adam assured him. He took advantage of the space between them to wiggle up the bed and into the nest of pillows he’d arranged over the past couple of weeks. They allowed him to sit up just enough to take some of the pressure off of his back. His belly was soon going to become a major hindrance in their sex life if Tommy kept insisting on this position and would eventually revoke Tommy’s access to his cock. For some reason the thought made him giggle. “You know we won’t be able to use this position for long right?”
“Yeah, but it works for now?”
“Mmmhmm.” Adam grabbed Tommy’s hips and directed him into his lap. Tommy raised an eyebrow and shifted in Adam’s grip long enough to grab the lube from the bedside table.
“Adam, we were both tested before the tour for insurance purposes. I know we haven’t really talked about it, but since we’re exclusive and you’re pregnant, do condoms really matter?”
“That was before the tour though…”
“I spent most of my nights in your lair. When exactly do you think I was getting laid exactly?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Adam held up his hands to show he didn’t really mean anything by it. “I just wanted to be sure. I… I haven’t been with anyone but you and my own hand since before the tour. I was kinda afraid your first tour would eat you alive and I wanted to be there for you.”
“Awww, baby,” Tommy squeaked, though Adam would never be able to get him to admit to squeaking. All thought flew from his mind, erased completely by Tommy’s lips and tongue. Adam’s hands roamed over Tommy’s soft skin, from chest to that perfect cut in his hips and around to that tiny ass he loved so much. Adam was almost surprised to discover Tommy’s fingers back there, prepping himself for Adam’s cock. The breathy lil groans that he was licking into Adam’s mouth gave him away, however. Not that Adam minded because it never took Tommy long to get ready. In minutes Adam was spreading him open as he lowered himself onto Adam’s cock. Adam could tell Tommy was very aware of the amount of pressure he was putting on Adam’s midsection. The slide was perfect though, slow and sweet. They shared tender kisses while Tommy rolled his hips, taking Adam in and then slowly out again.
Their bodies melted into one another and Adam felt pleasure creep through him when Tommy finally lost the concentration it took for kissing. His smaller form slumped against Adam and hot breath ghosted across Adam’s neck. Tommy was moaning and mumbling soft words of praise into Adam’s skin. Adam was drowning in sensation, but somehow managed to reach between them. There wasn’t enough space to grip Tommy’s cock properly so instead he wrapped two fingers around the head and twisted his wrist. Tommy shuddered against Adam and his hips sped up, losing their rhythm. Adam planted his feet flat on the bed and used what little leverage he had to make one sharp thrust up to meet Tommy as he came down and that was it. Tommy gasped and Adam groaned when he felt Tommy’s teeth sink into his neck. Tommy spilled over Adam’s hand and Tommy’s hole coaxed Adam’s cock. Adam squirmed up once more into a very limp Tommy and his orgasm slammed into him. He gripped Tommy’s hips to hold him firmly on his cock while he road it out, the aftershocks causing little shivers to run throughout his entire body. Adam went lax against the pillows with Tommy’s warm weight pressed against his chest.
“Mmm that was fun.”
“Yeah, feels like we haven’t had sex in ages. My whole body is tingling. I might’ve forgot just how good you are for me,” Adam said with a smile and pressed a kiss into Tommy’s damp hair.
Tommy finally stirred and carefully lifted himself from Adam’s lap. They both made noises of disappointment as their bodies separated. Adam shifted again, sliding down the pillows so that just his shoulders and head were elevated. Once he stilled he was pleased to feel Tommy curl up beside him. Tommy scooted in close to his side and put one hand on Adam’s belly.
The only sounds in the room were the whir of the air conditioning and their breathing as it settled into sleep. Or close to sleep anyway. Adam was in the place just between sleeping and awake. He was still aware of his body, and in that awareness it came. It startled him awake and in the process roused Tommy, who blinked up at Adam owlishly. Adam immediately pressed a hand to his belly just beneath his navel and held his breath, waiting.
“Shh,” Adam breathed out in reply.
They lay like that for several minutes until Adam felt it again. His face lit up and he finally looked at Tommy. “I felt it. I’m positive that was one of the babies.” Adam’s voice raised an octave with his excitement. Tommy’s hand joined Adam’s below Adam’s navel.
“I know. It’s not strong enough for you to feel it yet.”
Tommy frowned. “Not fair.”
Before Adam could respond, a small flurry of movement tickled his insides. It was so different from what he thought he’d felt before that he was completely distracted until the sensations stopped. “I’m sorry baby, you’ll be able to feel them soon I’m sure. It feels so weird though. It makes it just a little more real for me, ya know?”
“Yeah,” Tommy whispered and stretched up to kiss Adam’s nose. “All quiet again?”
“Mmm,” Adam hummed.
“Then sleep, gotta be up early. David said he’d be by about ten.”
“In the morning?”
“Yes, in the morning. Sleep,” said Tommy, and returned to his spot nuzzled beside Adam.
Adam closed his eyes, his hand still rested on his stomach. He vaguely realized they would have to shower in the morning. He didn’t really want David checking him with the remnants of sex on his skin. Part of him thought it might be funny, and with that thought he slipped into sleep with a smile on his lips.
The joy the two shared that night would be short lived. The bitches who had started the crazy train were on vacation when the train was temporarily derailed.
Poor Adam had always had body issues and this incident was going to be a blow to what little confidence he had clawed back.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that in the end Adam comes out stronger, but this shit messed with his head when he really needed some stability.
Adam’s cell blared way too fucking early but he somehow managed to pry his eyes open long enough to locate the fucker in his jeans beside the bed. He’d been pretty good about putting the thing on silent before he went to sleep as of late, but last night he’d gotten a little distracted.
The display said Lane. A feeling of impending doom swept over him, but he hit accept anyway.
“Do you have any idea how fucking early it is?”
“Yeah, yeah, good morning to you too Mr. Ray of Fucking Sunshine. First Tommy calls me in a panic because you fainted, how are you by the way?”
“Good because you’re gonna need your health when you see the steaming piles of shit that are glittering with your face this morning. Presuming you haven’t seen any of the rags today?”
“Noooo? I was sleeping. I have a follow up with that doctor this morning. I was going to get up at nine and grab a shower and judging by the ray of sun that’s playing peek-a-boo with my eye at the moment it’s nowhere near that late. Couldn’t you wait to call me about the rags?”
“Nope, gotta get a statement for the press. When were you going to tell me Tommy was living with you? How the fuck did you manage to get a doctor in your house without the paps noticing? Seriously, you need to keep me up on what’s going on so I know how to handle it. And while I’m on the tangent what the fuck happened with Sauli?”
“Tell the press that Tommy lost his apartment and I invited him to stay with me. He’s staying in my guestroom. I don’t know about the doctor getting in I wasn’t exactly awake for that part. As far as Sauli goes… umm he was just a cover for Tommy and I. He had to go back home. Had a casting call for some show in Finland and got a role. Tommy and I were waiting to come out as a couple until after my album dropped, you know, after the first month’s sales. So kindly keep the truth undercover for now.”
“Oh sweet hell Adam, what in the world am I gonna do with you? Nevermind, don’t answer that. I’m gonna go deal with this before my head explodes, and while I’m doing that you should probably get your ass to a gym. I’ll be in touch,” Lane snapped and then she was gone.
Adam frowned and dropped his phone. He reached under the bed to retrieve his laptop and turned it on.
“What the hell?” Tommy shielded his eyes and peaked up at Adam.
“Lane. She says the rags have printed some story about us and before she hung up she told me to get to a gym.”
Tommy sighed resignedly and smushed his face into his pillow. Adam turned back to his laptop. It had finally booted up and his wallpaper stared back at him. It was a picture of him and Tommy from tour that he’d snagged from one of the fan sites. Tommy’s eyes were shut and he was leaned back into Adam. Adam had one hand hovering over Tommy’s chest and he’d been smirking to the audience. The picture caused an unfamiliar sting in his chest. His face was so different now, rounder, and more feminine. Even his facial hair hadn’t grown as fast lately. Adam couldn’t help but wonder if the effects of the hormones coursing through his body would become more prominent as his pregnancy progressed. He pushed the thought back. It wasn’t something he could answer. That would just have to wait for David’s visit.
Adam used one black-tipped finger on the track pad to bring up his browser and typed in his three least favorite letters into google, ‘TMZ.’ The results page populated and he clicked the link for the site. The seconds it took to load were torture, but when it finished, there he was. The headline read, ‘Washed Up Idol Shacks Up with His Bass Player.’
Adam could feel the anger rising hot under his skin, but he clicked on the link anyway. It took him to the full article.
Our photogs caught up with the pop prince Adam Lambert yesterday. He was caught leaving the studio with bassist Tommy Ratliff in tow. Adam refused to answer any questions, but we think the pictures speak for themselves.
Looks like Adam Lambert has a not so new boy toy. He was seen dragging bassist Tommy Ratliff through a crowd of photographers last night and it’s in this writer’s opinion that they looked rather intimate once they’d settled in Lambert’s car.
Lambert, who was runner up to Kris Allen on Season 8 of American Idol was speculated to have an eating disorder at one point during his Glamnation tour. Fans watched as Lambert became a fraction of the size he’d been while on Idol and it looks like the time away from touring may be agreeing with him a little too much. I’m pretty sure that’s not a tire under that hideous hoodie. Seriously, Adam, what happened to your fashion statements, or better yet, what are you hiding?
Seems like Lambert may want to cut out some of the junk food and own up to his new lover. Seems like just yesterday he was shacking up with Sauli Koskinen, but it looks like he got tossed to the curb for another bleach blond.
Really, what’s next for Glambert?
The article concluded with a slideshow of photos of Adam and Tommy leaving the studio. Adam cringed when he realized just how large he looked beside Tommy. He felt tears welling in his eyes and knew that the album would have to be finished as soon as humanly possible. He was going to have to go into hiding. He and Tommy had to get the fuck away from LA and those sleazy fucking paps that had no clue what was going on.
Tommy was once again dead to the world and by the time Adam stopped fuming it was going on eight in the morning, so he figured he might as well roll his ass out of bed and start getting ready. He knew breakfast should be his first stop, but after all that shit he didn’t really have much of an appetite. Instead he went leafing through his closet for something that still fit.
Adam finally settled on one of the larger button ups he owned and yet another pair of low-rise jeans, which were quickly becoming his new best friend. He wasn’t too sure how long they would suit his needs but for now they did the trick. With those in hand he trudged to the bathroom and dragged himself into the shower.
It never failed to amaze Adam how much a shower could improve his mood. Clean, dressed, and with his hair slicked back Adam felt more awake and focused on the next few hours. After that he could have a meltdown if he wanted, but right now he needed to get Tommy moving and grab himself some breakfast.
Waking Tommy was kinda like trying to raise the dead sans necromancer abilities, so Adam crawled back into bed and curled up next to him.
“Baby,” whispered Adam.
Tommy gave a tiny snuffle and his nose wrinkled.
“Baby, come on it’s going on nine. David will be here in an hour to check the babies.”
Adam shook his head and laughed at the less than pleased look on Tommy’s face when Tommy finally pried one eye open.
“Come on, you need to shower. I don’t really want David coming in here to find you naked with dried cum painting that ass. Not that it isn’t a glorious sight or anything, but ya know he’s a guest in our home and all.” Adam kissed Tommy’s neck and Tommy finally gave in, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.
“I’m gonna go grab some breakfast. Go shower, but this evening I need to talk to you about that article Lane called me about,” Adam sighed and maneuvered himself carefully from the bed. He ambled to the kitchen, but kept an ear to the bedroom to ensure Tommy didn’t go back to sleep. Sure enough a few minutes later he heard shuffling around and the sound of the bathroom door as it clicked shut.
Adam looked around the kitchen and tried to settle on a meal. “Sandwich, no. Bagel, no.” He opened the refrigerator. “Eggs, no. Salad, not for breakfast,” Adam mumbled to himself. He moved on to the pantry and peaked inside. “That’ll do.” Adam grabbed a box and moved to the cabinet above the sink to retrieve a bowl. A trip to the refrigerator for the milk and to the drainer for a spoon and he was set. Tommy walked into the room just as he added milk to his Kashi. Tommy curled his lip in disgust and went straight to the jar of Nutella that was placed conveniently next to the bread. Adam shoved his cereal in his mouth and watched Tommy grab a spoon and slather the bread with a thick layer of what Tommy only ever referred to as ‘mouth crack.’ When he finished he smacked the two pieces of bread together, put the lid back on the Nutella, and licked the spoon clean.
Together they sat in silence and ate.
After the rude awakening Adam had, I was surprised to see him in such great spirits during David’s visit, though the tight lines around his eyes revealed some of the inner struggle he was having. Being weighed, seeing that number jump from his previous weight, I was sure only reminded Adam of that horrible article, but he took it in stride and rubbed his belly when David reminded him that he was a little under on expected weight gain.
David checked Adam and pronounced the babies healthy and doing well. I was pleased to see Tommy pipe up and ask when he’d be able to feel the babies. David assured him it wouldn’t be too much longer and then took his leave.
After the door closed I saw the change in Adam. His whole demeanor shrunk back into that horrible headspace courtesy of that fucking article and to make matters worse, he was about to have a lot of explaining to do.
Adam’s cell trilled and he inwardly cringed when he checked the display. He’d been deflecting his family’s attempts at getting together for weeks now. Compared to his norm he’d practically become a hermit. Between recording and trying to hide his ever-changing body he wasn’t sure he could handle adding his mother to the mix. But alas, if he didn’t do something she would eventually take initiative and drop by unannounced.
“Hello,” Adam finally answered.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Tommy?” Was the first thing his mom said.
“What, not hello, or maybe how are you? Straight to the raunchy stuff.”
“Adam, you know I don’t normally read that bullshit, but I caught one look at your face this morning on the front of Star magazine and knew the headline was true. I’ve had my suspicions about you boys for a while now, but you always denied there was anything there. Then lately it’s almost like you’re avoiding me.”
“Moooom,” Adam whined. “Listen, it’s been a crazy few months since the tour. I… well, umm… Tommy and I were close on tour, and then somewhere along the way we became closer.” Adam couldn’t fucking make himself say that their relationship kinda started as fuck buddies. “It wasn’t until the final night of the tour we made it official.”
“The last night of tour? And you’ve been hiding him in your house all that time and the rags are just now getting wind of it?”
“Yeah, guess so,” Adam sighed.
“There’s something else?”
Adam made a noise of assent.
“What else? You know you can tell me anything, that hasn’t changed.”
“I know, mom, but this is not really a conversation I can have with you on the phone.” Adam pulled Tommy into his side when Tommy made a shocked face.
“When can I come over then?”
“Hang on a sec, mom.”
Adam held the phone away from his mouth and shielded the speaker with his thumb.
“You’re going to tell her?” Tommy sounded scared.
“Of course, I can’t really hide from her for the next few months. We’ve been close my whole life I can’t keep it from her. She needs to know.”
“That your bass player knocked you up?” Tommy groaned and wiped his hand across his face in exasperation.
“Yeah, not exactly in those words exactly, but yeah. I’m gonna have her come over for dinner. I’ll cook and we can sit down and discuss everything at once. You can invite Dia too if you want. I think she’d probably like to know she’s going to be a grandma.”
Tommy groaned again and Adam moved his thumb away from the speaker.
“Are you there?”
“Can you come over for dinner about five?”
“I’ll be there, need me to bring anything?”
“Just yourself, and hopefully Tommy’s mom will be able to join us tonight as well.”
“Oh, I see what this is about. You both want your mom’s to meet? You know I’ve met Dia.”
“No mom.” It was all Adam could do not to grit his teeth. He squeezed Tommy’s hand and blew out a harsh breath. “We have some news and we’d like to tell our moms together.”
“Good news,” Adam amended.
“Well good, I can’t wait to hear it. See you at five, honey. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
I know what you’re all probably thinking. Adam can cook? Or maybe that was just my train of thought since I’d only ever seen him order take out, get room service, or shove a TV dinner into his microwave.
Turns out Adam actually surprised me. I could tell he was using cooking to distract himself from the impending arrival of guests, but he somehow managed not to burn a thing. Seriously Adam Lambert actually put garlic bread in the oven and it didn’t come out black. While Adam prepared dinner Tommy called his mom and invited her over.
These poor boys were in for a long evening. At least they had the ultrasound scans as proof that they hadn’t lost their minds.
Once the lasagna was in the oven Adam went through the house in search of Tommy. He followed the sound of gentle strumming until he found him. He was sitting on the small loveseat in his room with his favorite guitar in his lap. When Tommy moved in after the tour Adam had insisted Tommy have his own space, just like Adam had, something that reflected his personality. An escape.
Adam’s room was filled with old records, a turntable, musical posters, and a corkboard covered with hundreds of pictures of family and friends that had been taken throughout the years. It was his safe place, the one room in the house that made him forget all his problems, and usually where he wound up if Tommy went out with friends.
Tommy’s room was pretty much exactly what you would expect from a horror-movie-loving musician. Classic horror movie posters plastered the walls, every surface was scattered with movie-related items Tommy had collected throughout the years, and one wall was lined with instruments. Guitars, basses, and even a drum kit had been situated in the corner.
Now though, Tommy was in his element. His eyes were closed and he was strumming on what Adam knew was his favorite guitar. Adam recognized the warm honey-colored flame pattern on the front. Adam stood quietly, a smile spreading across his face, when the melody Tommy was plucking out was joined by Tommy’s soft humming.
Adam couldn’t resist joining in. Tommy’s song choice made him feel warm inside as he sang softly, “I… I just love you… I don’t know why, I just do…” Tommy startled just slightly at Adam’s voice but he quickly recovered his place on the strings. Brown eyes stared up at Adam and together they finished the song.
When it was over Adam left the spot where he’d been leaning against the doorframe. Tommy carefully placed his guitar back into the stand. Without a word Adam settled onto the cushion as close to Tommy as he could get without being in his lap. Tommy wrapped his fingers around Adam’s neck and time slowed for a moment. It was just them, just their breaths soft against each other’s faces as they nuzzled their noses against each other, and finally the soft press of lips. Adam sighed into it and pushed closer; the press of his belly into Tommy’s side was now his stopping point. He whined softly into the kiss and nipped at Tommy’s lip.
Tommy was apparently the levelheaded one at the moment and he released his grip on Adam’s neck. He squeezed Adam’s shoulder and gently shoved him away.
“Baby,” Tommy cooed in response to Adam’s pouty face. “Our mother’s will be here soon. Don’t you think tonight is going to be weird enough without adding boners to the equation?”
With one more kiss Adam finally contented himself to settling against Tommy’s side, where reality drifted away into dreams.
The space around Adam was bright and welcoming. The layout of the house was open. It had lots of windows, sparse but homey furniture was situated throughout, and from the place he was perched he could even see the kitchen. It felt right, like he was supposed to be there sometime soon.
It wasn’t until a groan caught his attention that things felt weird. Adam was at the top of the staircase standing on the landing, and when he looked down to the floor he gasped. Future Adam? Fuck, Adam wasn’t sure what to think because he was looking at himself, but bigger. Adam crept down the stairs to get a closer look. Adam caught sight of Tommy, a shaggy Tommy. Tommy’s blond fringe was just long enough to reach just below his chin. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days and Adam felt a shiver rock through him. He’d always loved that scruffy look.
“Tommy,” Future Adam whimpered.
Adam felt like a voyeur. Future Adam was perched on his hands and knees, his back bowed with the weight of the babies, and Tommy was pressing into his lower back. The grimace from Future Adam dissipated and Tommy helped him to sit up onto his haunches.
“So proud of you,” Tommy murmured and kissed Future Adam’s sweaty shoulder. “You’re gonna give birth to our babies, you’re so fucking strong.”
Future Adam smiled down at Tommy and Adam took it all in. The globe of Future Adam’s belly, the fullness in his chest, and the way the smile slipped around the edges. Pain seeped into his features and Adam watched the way he stroked slow circles into his bump.
“Another one?” David’s voice came from somewhere in the distance. “Adam?” Tommy’s voice sounded way more distant and he never opened his mouth. Adam felt the tug of something, but as Future Adam returned to his hands and knees, the two Adams locked eyes momentarily. Future Adam wasn’t looking through Adam, he was looking right at him when he said, “this is the way.”
The words echoed in his head as the dream bled away into nothingness and he was surrounded by the scent of home, of Tommy. Tommy’s voice was soft in his ear. He encouraged Adam to wake up with whispers of love and kisses against his earlobe.
“That’s it, baby, come on. Company will be here soon.”
Adam wiped at his eyes. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“I know, but I know you could use the rest.”
“Mmph, yeah, but the lasagna.”
Just as the words left Adam’s mouth the timer went off.
“Good timing right?”
“Yeah,” Adam replied and scooted forward on the cushions.
“Here.” Tommy stood and held out his hand. Adam graciously took it. Tommy was small but he was stout and pulled Adam easily into a standing position.
“Thanks.” Adam stretched his arms up and yawned, loosening up his body a little bit. He rubbed his hand across his belly, the dream still lingering. He’d tell Tommy, but not just yet.
I could see the wheels turning then. The seed had been planted. The Fates weren’t sure Adam would take it seriously, but I could sense the change in Adam. Adam knew it wasn’t just a dream. It was the future, the way it should be. And it also conveniently fit in with Adam’s thoughts of getting away from LA. That of course would have to wait just a little bit longer. He still had recording to do. If he was lucky it might take him a couple more weeks to wrap things up. His first album was completed in three months; surely he could finish this one by the end of April. I hoped so anyway. I just couldn’t see him hiding his belly any longer than that. It looked ridiculous enough as it was.
Paps were already speculating as to what Adam was hiding. Getting fat was one thing, but I didn’t think Adam’s career could survive a pregnancy. Hell I’m not sure any man’s career could handle it for that matter, let alone Mister I-Like-The-Top getting pregnant by his ‘straight’ bass player.
Their coming out as a couple was going to be a big enough obstacle without adding to the fact he was an apparent freak of the universe that The Fates wanted to fuck with. I felt bad for Adam; I felt even worse that I’d had a part in it, though it wasn’t like I whispered to Tommy that he should fuck Adam.
The lasagna was sitting on the stove and Adam had just pulled the garlic bread from the oven when the doorbell chimed.
“Baby, grab the door,” Adam called and turned back to the basket lined with paper towels. Using a fork he carefully nudged each piece of bread into the basket. The doorbell rang again and Adam rolled his eyes. “Tommy, the door,” Adam yelled a little louder.
This time the sound of footfalls met Adam’s ears and a flustered looking Tommy peeked into the kitchen. “Sorry, sorry, I was taking a piss.” And then he was gone. Adam laughed to himself, set the baking sheet onto the stove and flicked off the oven. Grabbing the other potholder, he picked up the lasagna and carried it over to the table. He settled it onto the heat-resistant mat. It looked delicious, but his nerves were paper-thin now that the truth was finally going to be revealed. Adam shook away his nerves and went back to get the garlic bread and the bowl of salad from the fridge. He somehow managed to shove the salad dressing into the bowl without dropping anything. Just as he’d finished arranging everything on the table his mom walked into the kitchen flanked by Tommy.
“Hi baby.” His mom’s voice was warm and expectant. Adam took a deep breath and turned to face her. He was still wearing the button down he’d put on after his shower that morning so there was no hiding his belly.
“Mom,” he breathed out into her hair as she hugged him.
“I know what this is all about. Those paps and that article. Honey you know Tommy living with you is your business and so what if you’ve gained a little weight. People tend to get a little thick around the middle when they’re happy.”
“No mom, when Dia gets here we’ve got some big news.” His mom released him and pulled away long enough to look up at him.
“You’re getting married aren’t you?”
“Mom, please, just grab a seat at the table while we wait for Dia.”
“Leila would you like something to drink?” Tommy piped up, hoping to take Leila’s mind off Adam.
Leila just shrugged and turned her attention back to Adam.
“Want a beer?” Tommy tried again.
“What about you Adam, water?”
Adam squeezed his mom’s shoulder. “Excuse me a minute.”
“Sure,” she replied.
“Tommy, after you grab the drinks would you please go ahead and cut the lasagna. I was going to, but mom got here.”
Adam headed to the bathroom. He was fine up until he’d felt the babies while his mom hugged him. Now he had to pee so fucking badly he could taste it and he felt guilty that he was almost halfway through this pregnancy and his mom still didn’t know. He peed and washed his hands. At the sink he caught sight of his reflection, of how much his face had changed. Regret tugged at him even more firmly. So much time had passed; he’d missed his mom and he hadn’t realized just how much until he saw her.
Sighing, Adam turned away from the sink. He shuffled up the hall with his palm resting against his belly. Luckily he realized what he was doing just before he joined Tommy and his mom in the kitchen. He dropped his hand to his side.
“Mom texted,” Tommy giggled.
“Said the gate wouldn’t let her in,” Tommy snickered and his eyes lit up with mischief.
“Brat, you didn’t tell her the code to get in did you.”
Tommy shook his head no.
“Tommy Joe Ratliff, be nice to your momma,” Leila chided. It came out with a laugh and she couldn’t keep a straight face.
“Oh alright.” Tommy gave an adorable pout like a scolded five year old and picked up his phone.
Adam just shook his head. Sometimes Tommy could be so serious, but it was the childlike moments like this one that reminded Adam exactly why Tommy was going to make an amazing father.
I knew Adam was right. Tommy was going to make an amazing father, but he was going to struggle. Although a natural with kids, the person Tommy would need to turn to the most after becoming a dad wouldn’t be there for him: his own father was gone now.
I’m sure I mentioned how Adam stayed single during the tour on the chance Tommy needed him. I’d never seen anyone need Adam more than Tommy when he found out his father was ill.
The time Tommy spent with Adam in his lair, his head buried into Adam’s neck as he cried, made me realize that I needed to give Tommy joy and security in a relationship that he’d never expected. After all, it was on one of those very nights that with my gentle nudge Adam kissed Tommy. It was the first kiss they’d shared offstage and when they parted and Tommy opened his eyes, I was breathless. Tommy’s cheeks were tear-stained and his eyes were rimmed with dark circles, but the smile he gave Adam was nothing short of blinding. That night led to all the others and to this one specifically, the night Adam told their mothers he was pregnant. The ball was in motion for Tommy’s meltdown. I just didn’t see it coming quite the way it did.
Once Dia had finally managed to get past the gate, Tommy plated everyone’s meals. Adam wasn’t so sure he should’ve let Tommy serve him because now he had a heaping plate of lasagna to go along with the side-salad he’d somehow forced himself to eat. He sat shuffling cheese around his plate as the sounds of forks scraping over plates continued. No one seemed to know what to say and the comfort level in the room was diminishing faster than a bottle of beer left in Tommy’s hands.
“So Adam, Tommy filled me in a little bit when he called about moving in here, but that’s not why you invited Leila and I is it? It has something to do with that article this morning doesn’t it?” Dia always was very direct.
“Yeah, umm, Tommy and I… well, we’re going to be making some changes in the next couple months. I haven’t really had the chance to talk to Tommy about it yet and I really hate to just throw it out like this, but I think it’s best we all get on the same page.” Adam sighed and pushed his plate away, glad to have an excuse to avoid any more food. The salad already felt like boulders colliding in his stomach.
“Baby?” Tommy looked at him, concern lining his features and making Adam feel even worse.
“Tommy, after I finish the album I think you and I should look at renting a beach house. We need to get away from LA for a while. We need to be somewhere away from the paps, somewhere where I don’t have to always hide my body. I can’t go on wearing hoodies in the middle of summer. Heat stroke wouldn’t be good for us.” Adam snapped his mouth shut, realizing the mistake he’d made and hoping they hadn’t caught it.
“Us?” Leila quipped. Of course he wasn’t that lucky.
“Take off the shirt,” Tommy whispered and squeezed Adam’s hand.
Adam stood up and unbuttoned the shirt until it fell open, revealing his swollen chest and rounded stomach.
Dia and Leila both gapped. He knew what it looked like, but he also knew that they were fighting the logic because it was ‘impossible’ for a man to be pregnant. Adam looked from Dia to Leila and just nodded yes.
“But… what…” Leila’s voice was soft and her eyes were glassy.
“How?” Came Dia’s quiet gasp.
Adam just shrugged. Leila slid away from the table and went to Adam. She pulled him into a hug and when she let him go her hand slid to the expanse of his belly.
“Tommy could you go get the scan pics?”
“Yeah, be right back, and then we’ll explain everything.”
That night Adam and Tommy revealed what you already know. How they came to be a couple and more importantly the crazy events that led up to Adam’s pregnancy. There were many tears and a lot of hugs. By the end of the night they’d come to the conclusion that yes, Adam would be safer away from LA. Then it was determined that once they’d found a place to settle, Leila and Dia would come out and help them with baby shopping. Both mothers were so happy to be clued in on everything. Adam and Tommy stressed the fact that right now they weren’t comfortable with anyone else knowing. Everything was set. Now Adam just had to hope David would make the move with them.
Adam and Tommy spent the next couple of weeks missing each other at every turn. I was a little concerned for them. Tommy’s insomnia had kicked in full force, which meant that just as Adam was getting up Tommy was finally crashing. It also meant that Adam was going to the studio alone. By the time he made it home in the evenings he and Tommy had dinner together and then Adam showered and headed to bed.
Adam knew something was up with Tommy; he just didn’t have the energy after spending his days in the studio to figure out what was going on. The babies were moving more and Adam felt like he was carrying around a couple of bowling balls by the end of the day. All this lack of communication could only last so long; I just hoped when the bomb dropped that they’d be able to put the pieces back together. It was the end of April and Adam had spent his last day in the studio when Tommy finally broke down.
That’s all I’ll say about it. The next look in will give you the scoop.
Adam was bone tired. The past couple of weeks seemed like years. He’d reviewed the final tracks for the album and luckily the cover was going to be artwork this time. Now it was in the hands of his record company. They were looking to release it in the Fall. He was just hoping that he’d have enough time to recover from having the babies.
It was a night just like any other as of late. Adam was alone in bed, again. He was trying to sleep, but the babies were more active than usual for this hour. As tired as he was his mind continued to focus on all those tiny movements. He rolled from his side onto his back. The central air kicked on and the air-vent above his bed blew down onto his bare chest. At twenty-one weeks pregnant his pecs were becoming more like small breasts and his nipples had become darker and slightly puffy. Watching his body change was fascinating, but keeping up with its need for food had been daunting while recording. During his last checkup David had said that Adam was still underweight. Tommy had glared at him, but hadn’t said anything. Adam just hoped that he hadn’t lost any weight. Everything he ate only reminded him of the article. Adam knew the babies needed him to eat, but that article had stirred up some of his old demons.
Adam knew stress wasn’t going to help him or the babies. One of the babies gave a particularly strong kick and Adam rubbed the area just to the side of his navel. He startled a little when another kick came and this time he felt it under his palm.
“Baby,” Adam yelled. This was the moment Tommy had been waiting for and of course he wasn’t here when it happened. “Tommy, fuck, get in here.” This time his voice went up an octave with excitement.
Footsteps thudded closer and closer until a frazzled Tommy appeared in the doorway. His eyes were filled with concern until Adam smiled and waved him to the bed.
“What is it, I thought…” Tommy crawled up on the bed beside Adam. When Tommy came closer Adam could see the tears that stained Tommy’s cheeks. His eyes were bloodshot like he’d been rubbing at them, but Adam didn’t say anything, just pulled Tommy closer and grabbed his hand.
Tommy raised an eyebrow when Adam placed Tommy’s hand on his belly. “Did you…”
For several minutes they waited, Tommy nuzzled into Adam’s side with his palm pressed flat under Adam’s hand.
“David said the babies could hear us now. Sing something, Adam.”
Adam thought about it for a moment. The lyrics to Forever Young came to him and he started to sing. His voice was soft and when he hit the chorus two things happened nearly at once. Adam felt a kick and Tommy broke out in a sob. Adam’s voice wilted to nothing when he looked at Tommy’s face. He didn’t see the joy he was hoping for, instead anguish, anger, and grief painted Tommy’s features.
“Baby? Hey, hey now, shh.” Adam pulled Tommy into his lap, careful of his belly. Tommy immediately fell forward and hid his face in Adam’s neck. Tommy’s voice was so soft and wracked with tears that Adam barely caught the whispered word of ‘why’ over and over again.
“Tommy, hey, I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I knew your insomnia had gotten worse the past couple of weeks, but I hadn’t had the chance to really sit and talk with you. Like I told you at dinner, recording is finished, I’m done and now we need to get on the same page again. We’ve gotta find a place to live and I can’t have you keeping things from me.”
“Fuck, Adam.” The words were spat into his neck, hot and angry. Tommy jerked out of the embrace and for once Adam didn’t recognize the eyes looking back at him. “That fucking song, it just… I can’t do this right now.” Tommy scooted back off the bed and stomped out of the room. A minute later Adam heard the front door open and then slam shut.
Adam was confused and upset. Tommy had never reacted to him that way. He thought Tommy would’ve been happy to finally feel the babies, but something else was up. It felt like Tommy had thrown up a wall between them and Adam wasn’t sure he knew how to break it down.
“Fuck,” Adam groaned, feeling tears prick hot in the corners of his eyes. Somehow he lugged himself up from bed and down the hall. Tommy’s car keys were still hanging on the hook by the door. Perplexed, he turned on the porch light and stepped out into the dark. The scent of flowers hit him; he breathed in deep and wiped at his eyes. Adam looked out into the yard but didn’t see Tommy. He walked down the steps, the concrete warm on his bare feet, and finally caught sight of Tommy sitting in his car. Adam walked over and opened the passenger door. He carefully lowered himself into the seat leaving the door wide open and looked over at Tommy. Tommy’s head rested against the steering wheel and his fingers were gripping it so hard his knuckles were white.
“Why did this happen now?” said Tommy, his voice raw with pain. “When I fucking need him the most he’s not here. I don’t know how to be a dad and the one person I wanna talk to about everything isn’t here anymore.”
Adam scooted over until the console dug into his hip and reached out to Tommy. Adam was relieved when Tommy didn’t flinch at an arm wrapping around him. It was awkward in the small space, but Adam needed Tommy to know he was there and loved.
“Oh baby, shit, I’m sorry about the song. I wasn’t thinking. You’re going to be such a good daddy though. Our babies will love you and you will sit on the floor and play with them. I’ve seen you with Monte’s kids. You don’t think you know how to be a dad, but you do, and you’re not in it alone. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere, baby.”
“I want to forget… I’ve… things were so good up until the past couple of months. When we found out… damn… it was like I’d been kicked in the teeth. All that grief that I’d thought I’d dealt with just came flying back at me. I don’t think I can do this.”
“No you can’t, you can’t do it… but we can. Now it’s late… well not late but late for me, I’ve been up since six. I’m beat, come to bed with me. I just… I need you. I wanna feel your skin next to mine. And from now on, I don’t want you worrying about all this stuff alone. We’re in this together. I’m scared, too. I won’t lie. I’m scared that I’m underweight, that we don’t have a place to hide out yet, that we don’t have anything for the babies yet, and a million other things. I mean it’s only by some strange happening that I’m even pregnant and right now we don’t even know who is going to deliver them…”
Tommy cupped Adam’s chin in his hand, effectively silencing him, and then pulled him in for a kiss. After breaking the kiss he looked up at Adam and gave him a little smile. “Let’s go to bed, I feel like I haven’t touched you in forever.”
“Yeah? You sure you’re okay?” Adam wiped at the couple of tears that still clung to Tommy’s cheeks.
“I’m… I feel better… don’t wanna hide from you anymore. Wanna love you tonight, baby.”
“No more hiding, good. Come on.”
It was a short trip into the house and back to their bed. Adam shed his sleep pants and settled into bed while Tommy undressed. When Tommy climbed in Adam finally felt like the barrier between them was gone. Tommy cuddled up beside Adam and brushed his hand down Adam’s stomach. “I… I’m really glad I can feel them now.”
“It is really cool to be able to share it with you, but right now all’s quiet. They seem to be getting into a routine. When I’m recording they tend to be active, but normally by the time I get into bed they’ve already settled down. It’s just dumb luck that the first time I noticed I could feel them from the outside was while I was home. It’s probably not the first time, but it’s the first time I’ve actually had my hand there to feel it.”
“I’m glad you were home… I just… I’m sorry about how I reacted. It should’ve been a special moment between us and I blew it. Let me make it up to you?” Tommy leaned in and licked at Adam’s nipple. Adam gasped and slid a hand up Tommy’s back. With each brush of Tommy’s tongue over his sensitive skin he slid his hand higher until it rested on the back of Tommy’s head. Adam urged Tommy’s head closer using a light grip in his hair. He groaned when Tommy took a nipple into his mouth. A light suction had Adam writhing and when Tommy reached down to cup his balls Adam thought he would combust with the heat that ran through him.
“Fuck, need…” Adam whined and used his other hand to pluck at the nipple Tommy had neglected. It tightened in response. He was just about to melt into the bed when a familiar pressure distracted him from the pleasure. “Wait, shit…”
Tommy let Adam’s nipple slip from his mouth with a pop. “S’wrong?” His voice was thick with arousal.
“Sorry, have to pee again.”
Tommy giggled and waved Adam toward the bathroom. “Go on then.”
Adam scooted off the bed and shuffled to the bathroom as quickly as he could manage. He pissed, washed his hands, and hurried back to bed. Once he managed to situate himself Tommy pounced. Tommy rubbed over the fullness of Adam’s stomach while he licked and teased at Adam’s slit. Adam’s cock twitched and he laced his fingers into soft blond strands urging Tommy to take it. “Please, please, come on.”
Tommy pulled away and smirked, “Tell me, what do you want?”
“S’right here, baby.” Tommy used his finger to brush across his lower lip all porn star like and Adam groaned.
“Want my dick in between those sinful lips.”
“Mmm want me to suck it?”
“Yes,” Adam hissed. He grabbed Tommy by the hair again and tugged his head down. Tommy went willingly and soon his cock was wrapped in wet delicious heat.
Adam loosened his grip in Tommy’s hair and let his head lull back against the pillow. He couldn’t hear anything but the content sucking noises coming from Tommy and his own breathing as he gulped air into his lungs. Adam had always heard breathing deep into your belly intensified pleasure, but he hadn’t realized how much until now. He focused on the way the roundness of his tummy expanded with each deep breath he took. Each one caused the burning pleasure tingling through his gut to expand, and when Tommy unexpectedly deep-throated his cock all that heat raced through him, his balls pulled closer to his body in preparation, and finally the shuddering warmth traveled up his cock and spilled into Tommy’s mouth. Adam writhed as he emptied himself, and a hurt sound left his throat when Tommy finally pulled away to lick at the head. Sensitive didn’t cover what he was feeling. He felt like his dick had just expelled every ounce of liquid in his body.
“Good?” Tommy rasped.
Adam only nodded, his mind still foggy. It was several minutes before he managed to get his body to cooperate. He turned his focus to Tommy who’d curled up at his side. Tommy’s eyes were dark with lust and his lips were puffy.
“Want my help?” Adam murmured against Tommy’s ear, then sucked the lobe between his lips and traced the metal adorning it. Tommy’s whine wasn’t an answer so he released the lobe and cupped Tommy’s face. “Do you?” Before Tommy could answer Adam captured Tommy’s lower lip between his teeth and nibbled it. Tommy groaned and pressed his cock into Adam’s hip.
Adam kissed Tommy roughly once more and pulled away. “Peas?”
“Yeah, peas, you know for a midnight snack?” said Tommy. He rolled his eyes and laughed. “I was trying to say please, lay back and watch, but it’s kinda hard to talk with you nomming on my lower lip like a zombie looking for his last meal.”
Adam rolled out his bottom lip in a pout.
“Tell me you don’t wanna see this.” Tommy settled onto his back and grabbed his shaft in a nice firm grip. Tommy was right, Adam couldn’t look away. Tommy stroked himself firmly while Adam went from watching the expressions on Tommy’s face to his hand on his cock. Back and forth, he couldn’t decide which was hotter. Tommy’s jaw was slack as he panted, his eyes boring into Adam’s, and it was another kind of erotic to Adam. He changed his focus to Tommy’s hand working his cock, shivering a little when Tommy pulled back his foreskin to expose the head completely. Tommy used his fingers to rub along the slick head and Adam knew the calluses from his guitar playing brought a whole new sensation. He wasn’t sure if it was something Tommy no longer noticed, but Adam always had. But that could be because Adam totally had a thing for Tommy’s hands. Tommy let out a sigh and Adam noticed the way his hips twitched. Tommy rubbed just under the head, his glands exposed, and Adam shivered again. It was times like these that he resented being cut. Tommy went back to fisting his cock and finally it was just too much to resist.
“Can I?” Adam’s voice was softer than he’d expected. His hand hovered over Tommy’s sac, waiting for permission.
“Yeah,” Tommy replied, his voice rough with need.
Adam tentatively stroked Tommy’s sac and the soft skin shifted. He cupped Tommy’s balls in his hand, feeling the weight of them before tugging them gently away from Tommy’s body. Adam watched the skin stretch and Tommy’s reaction was beautiful. Tommy whimpered, “please, more, fuck,” and a million other praises left his lips. It made Adam’s cock twitch. Holding Tommy’s balls, Adam pressed an index finger to Tommy’s perineum and Tommy let out a ragged sound. It was followed by a series of moans that would make a porn star blush and Adam was delighted to see him shoot.
Tommy was the first guy Adam had been with in ages that could come on his own face by accident and tonight was no different. When Tommy finally went limp he was covered. His come trailed from his belly all the way up to his left cheek. Adam grinned and licked the wetness from Tommy’s cheek. The salty flavor of Tommy’s come was delicious. Adam kissed him and tasted the faint hint of his own release; they shared flavors. Finally Tommy made a displeased noise into Adam’s mouth. They parted and Tommy immediately got up and went to the bathroom. Adam heard the water running and laughed to himself. Some nights Tommy would go right to sleep covered in come and other nights Tommy couldn’t seem to stand the feeling of cooling come on him.
“Sorry,” Tommy whispered when he finally returned and snuggled up beside Adam.
“S’alright, let’s sleep,” Adam yawned around the words.
Adam faintly felt the dampness of Tommy’s freshly washed chest when he pulled him closer. Tommy melded into Adam’s side with one hand on Adam’s belly. It was the last thing Adam would remember until the dreams began again.
This wouldn’t be their last hurdle, but after that night it seemed like Adam and Tommy were on the same page again. Sure they still had their spats and, bless him, Adam and his overly emotional self didn’t make it easier. But things ran more smoothly between them, even when Adam blindsided Tommy with something he never expected to hear.
You’ll get to see that a little later, but for now I’ll turn you back over to Adam and his dreams.
Adam remembered this from his previous dream. The brightly lit house, the landing at the top of the staircase, and yep, there was his future self again. This time Future Adam was squatting between the couch and the coffee table. Future Adam had his arms braced over Tommy’s so that Tommy was supporting most of his weight.
Adam walked down the staircase to get a closer look. He made it to the couch and perched on the arm. Just like in the previous dream, Tommy didn’t seem to see him, but Future Adam did. They locked eyes for several moments until Future Adam’s face scrunched up in discomfort. Adam watched carefully. Future Adam hung his head and panted. His body was a picture of calm for the first thirty seconds or so and then he went bowstring tense in Tommy’s embrace.
“Hey, come on Adam, easy.” Tommy words were barely loud enough to be heard over Future Adam’s breathing, but Adam smiled. He knew Tommy would be there for him, but to see Tommy like this made his heart ache with love.
“Something…” The word came between gasps, “something’s happening… so much pressure.” Future Adam rolled his hips forward and back toward Tommy. Adam held his breath, the tension in the air curled in his chest and then Future Adam let out a shocked noise.
“It’s just your water, it broke, baby.” Tommy smiled a pressed a kiss into Future Adam’s hair. “Maybe that means we’ll get to meet one of our babies soon.”
“Maybe,” replied future Adam as his body went lax again, the contraction easing into nothing. “Let David know.”
Adam woke up that night panting. I was there as his breath settled. When he calmed he sat up in bed for the better part of an hour, his hands pressed into his belly. His babies were generally still at this hour, but tonight it seemed they were taking after their father. It was beautiful sight, even more so when Tommy woke up. After making sure Adam was all right, Tommy snuggled up with his head against Adam’s chest and began mapping the expanse of Adam’s belly with his fingers. When Adam shifted further back into the pillows to sleep, Tommy was already out. As Adam fell asleep his fingers played in Tommy’s hair. My heart honestly jolted for a moment.
Sure I knew he and Tommy were meant to be together, but that burst told me something I hadn’t realized when I first took out my bow. He and Tommy were soul mates, truly two halves of the same soul that found one another. It was a first for me. As many couples as I’d hit with my arrow, per the orders of destiny, I’d never had two halves of the same soul find each other. In truth it was more rare these days than it used to be. Seems that with time people loved less and took for granted more. Adam and Tommy, they would make it. Their love truly would stand the test of time, babies, and their careers. I’m not going to lie, when I realized it, I got a little weepy. And now I guess you realize just who I am. Betcha didn’t think cupids existed did you? Didn’t think so. Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about these two lovebirds that’ll soon be welcoming their children into the world. Let’s check in on Adam.
It’d been two weeks since the night of Tommy’s meltdown and Adam had been watching him closely. Adam could tell Tommy still wasn’t back to normal, but he was slowly getting his insomnia back under control. Together they’d been scouring the Internet for a rental property so they could get the hell out of dodge for a while. They’d finally located a house for rent about sixty miles outside of LA. It was part of a gated community and had its own private beach; Adam wasn’t sure if he could find anything more perfect.
The rental agency was discreet, but Adam still wasn’t comfortable being out and about with his belly, so he’d asked his mom to go by and talk with them. Leila had managed to make a good deal. Adam and Tommy would be moving there over the weekend, and from what Adam saw of the house in pictures it was just the one. Adam never imagined they’d find the house from his dreams and he hadn’t mentioned it to Tommy yet. Another plus was that David had agreed to move into one of the spare rooms so he could keep an eye on Adam. Adam was going to take care of all of David’s expenses since he wouldn’t be able to keep his job. As the pregnancy progressed Adam would need him there just in case something happened. Something like going into labor, but he was going to have to talk that over with David.
After finding the house of his dreams he was quite convinced he was supposed to birth these babies. Now he just had to figure out exactly how Dani was going to sneak an ultrasound machine to the beach house. Adam was pretty sure Dani could get into a lot of trouble if she got caught using unauthorized medical equipment.
“Adam,” said Tommy with a laugh.
“Oh, uhh what?”
“Bout time, you were thinking pretty hard there. I said what do we have left to pack that has to go to the beach house.”
Adam bit his lip and looked around at the house they’d shared since the end of the tour. It looked bare now that most of the pictures adorning the living room walls had been taken down and packed away. Sure the beach house would just be a rental, just until November, but they wanted it to feel like home. Adam spotted something that most definitely had to go. He couldn’t fathom why the hell it was in the living room, but it lay forgotten on the corner of the recliner they normally never used. Adam rocked forward and with a gentle push from Tommy at his back he managed to make it off the couch. He went over to the recliner and picked up the pool of fabric with a smile. They definitely wouldn’t need it, but it had too much history to leave behind. “I think this should go with us.”
Tommy’s eyes lit up, “yeah, I think it’s earned a place wherever we go.” Tommy got up and snatched the skull-printed scarf from Adam’s hand. He laughed when Tommy hooked it around his neck and used it to pull him in for a kiss. Their laughter was shared between tender kisses. Tommy pulled him closer until their bellies met. Adam’s laughter turned into hiccupping giggles when one of their babies made his or herself known between them. The look on Tommy’s face was kind of priceless. “Oh I see how it is, not even born yet and already beating up on daddy.” Tommy backed up a little and rubbed Adam’s belly. His eyes lit up when another darting movement hit his hand.
“I think they’ve already got you wrapped around their little fingers.” At twenty-three weeks it was clear that Tommy was already in love with them; Adam knew Tommy was going to be the one who’d try to spoil them rotten.
“Maybe just a little.”
The rest of the day passed slowly. Adam watched Tommy shift boxes around the house. Tonight would be the last night in their home. Tomorrow would be a long day. Adam was driving up to the beach house in the morning in Tommy’s car to meet David. They’d decided it would be best to leave his Mustang in the garage and had given Alisan vague details about the move and instructions to come by once a week to check on the house and start the car.
David was going to do Adam’s checkup and start moving his stuff in while they waited for Tommy. Tommy would be driving down in the U-Haul they’d rented. When Tommy arrived Adam planned to meet their mothers for a late lunch and baby shopping. Adam had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a really long day.
That night when they finally made it to bed Tommy was exhausted and was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. For Adam it was one of those toss and turn kinda nights. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable and when he finally fell asleep it was on his side, his belly pressed into Tommy’s back, and an arm thrown across Tommy’s side.
When Adam woke up to the sound of the alarm at early o’clock in the morning he momentarily wished he had a sledgehammer to shatter the clock into a million pieces. Alas he groaned, smacked the off button sleepily, and sat up in bed.
“Tommy, come on baby.” Adam’s voice was still thick with sleep.
“Mmmph, five more minutes,” Tommy whined and buried his face further into the pillow.
“Up, now. Come on. You need to load the last few things into the U-Haul. Remember you’re supposed to meet me at the beach house.”
Tommy rumbled something into the pillow and finally tossed the sheet from his body.
“Morning to you too sunshine.” Adam kissed Tommy’s head and then slipped from the bed to start his day.
After a quick shower Adam wandered back into the bedroom to find some clothes. Out of habit he tugged on the low-rise jeans he’d become so fond of. He zipped them halfway up and was horrified when he couldn’t button them. He sighed to himself and rubbed his belly. “Yeah, I know you guys are growing, but please be nice to what’s left of my waistline.” Not wanting to be caught dead in a pair of sweats he found the biggest t-shirt in his closet and pulled it over his head. Ironically it was an old Queen tour shirt that had been a fan gift. When he’d received it he’d held it up to his body and thought he’d never be able to wear it without it eating him. Oh how things had changed. He yanked the fabric down over his belly and was relieved that it actually covered his half unzipped fly. Adam checked out the completed look in the mirror and slid on his flip-flops. In the back of his mind the thought that he was starting to look a lot like a woman nagged at him. If he kept on expanding at this rate he was going to need a bra to contain what used to be decently defined pecs. “I have boobs,” he whispered to himself.
Adam finally joined Tommy in the kitchen. Tommy was settled on a barstool happily engulfing a sandwich. The scent of coffee hit Adam and he moaned. “Please tell me that’s decaf?” he asked when he spotted the coffee mug next to Tommy.
“Nope, and this is actually my third cup, and you know me its got enough sugar to rot my teeth. I needed to wake the fuck up though for the drive.”
“You know I wouldn’t leave you hangin’. I finished off the pot and started up some decaf for you. I figured you’d like some coffee even if we can’t have caffeine addicted fetuses. Should be done brewing.”
“Mmm and that’s why I love you.” Adam went over and kissed Tommy before he took another bite of his sandwich. Adam gleefully retrieved a mug from the cabinet and poured himself some of the delicious-smelling brew. He added some French Vanilla powdered creamer and watched as the black became a soft chestnut brown. Yum. He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and stirred the cup a couple of times before taking the mug in hand. Even in the middle of the summer Adam could live on coffee, and as the heat from the mug seeped into his hand, he basked in the moment. He was startled when Tommy’s laughter spilled into the silence.
“Careful, baby, you keep looking at your coffee like that and you’re gonna make it hard. If it asks you to fuck it I wanna watch.”
Adam laughed and took a small sip of the warm deliciousness. “Mmm, yep I think I could totally get into that.”
“I thought so. You need to grab a bite to eat before you leave. I’m gonna go ahead and get started with moving boxes.”
“I know I need to eat, honest.”
Tommy came over and they shared coffee-flavored kisses. When Tommy pulled away he patted Adam’s belly affectionately.
“I wanna know everything David says during your checkup.”
“Yeah, I’ll take notes if I have to. I’m sure he’ll give you a rundown when you get there anyway.”
“Hope so.” Tommy grinned and walked away.
Adam stood there for a good fifteen minutes as he sipped his coffee. It settled his hunger and without a thought he grabbed a travel mug and emptied the pot into it. He doused it with creamer and gave it a stir. Mug in hand he headed from the kitchen. He grabbed Tommy’s car keys from the hook and made sure he had his phone. Adam said a quick goodbye to Tommy and hopped in the car to head to his appointment.
This is the part where I tell you not to get too upset with Adam for skipping breakfast. It was a subconscious decision on Adam’s part after not being able to get into his jeans. I was a little upset myself for a while, but Adam proved to me that while he may skip a meal here and there to console himself about how much his body was changing, he would never flat out stop eating.
While I realize even skipping a meal here or there can be harmful, I assure you Adam’s babies were okay in the end. Adam had a growth spurt near the end where he indulged all of his cravings, and believe me, when we get to that part you’ll be totally grossed out.
Adam hadn’t been on I-5 for thirty minutes when the coffee reached its destination. He squeezed his thighs together when one of the babies shifted and pressed into his bladder. The last exit he’d passed hadn’t had a gas station and he hoped to everything in the universe that the next one did. He wasn’t really in the mood to get caught on the side of the road with his dick hanging out just because he had to pee.
“Thank fuck,” Adam sighed when he saw the next exit sign. He pulled off onto exit 113 and spotted the G&M Oil sign. He carefully navigated the street and finally after a U-turn pulled into the parking lot. He grabbed the hoodie he’d gotten in the habit of keeping in Tommy’s car and pulled it over his head. It at least concealed his chest enough so it covered his breasts. He pulled the hood over his head and got out of the car. When he walked into the store the cool air hit him and he made a little panicked sound. The cool air only intensified his desperate need to pee. The clerk looked a little concerned until he made a beeline for the bathroom. Once inside he shucked down his jeans and sat. He normally avoided peeing girly style, but with as bad as he had to go he wasn’t sure he could stay upright. Finally he let go and he sighed in relief; some days he was sure the peeing while pregnant was better than sex.
When Adam was finished he pulled up his jeans and situated his clothes. His bladder still had that achy feeling to it, but he felt so much better. He washed his hands and walked back into the store. He picked up a pack of gum and laid it on the counter. The clerk smiled, but didn’t seem to recognize Adam. Adam was relieved for that and after she rung up his purchase he fumbled a couple of dollars from the back pocket of his jeans. He told her to keep the change and hastily made his retreat back to Tommy’s car. When he got in it was only moments before he pulled the hoodie over his head and tossed it into the backseat. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to pee again before reaching the beach house.
Adam made it back on I-5 with no trouble and cranked up the radio and sang along. In less than forty minutes he arrived at Dana Point, entered the gated community, and was pulling up to the beach house where David was waiting leaned up against his truck.
“Hi, I kinda figured you’d get here a little closer to ten. Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“ That’s okay, just gave myself some extra time in case I needed to get directions. Had to call Tommy to get the code for the gate though.”
“Shit, sorry.” Adam managed to slide out of the car and onto his feet without too much of a struggle. He headed to the door and heard David’s footsteps close behind him.
“Don’t worry about it. Tommy said that he was almost ready to head out. I’m sure he’ll be here not too long after we finish with your checkup.”
“Yeah, he was a lil annoyed to miss it, but with our moms coming down to take me shopping the time just didn’t seem to work out.” Adam fished the keys his mom gave him from his pocket and turned the lock. With a twist of the knob the door swung open revealing a brightly lit hallway. Adam stood back and waved David inside.
“Wow,” David gasped when they finally stood together in the open living room. Adam was more than happy to see the house he’d dreamt of. The high ceilings and wall of windows were truly a sight to behold.
“Hang on a sec, gotta fucking piss again and I’m not sure where the bathrooms are.” Adam went to the first door he saw and peaked inside. Nope, that was a closet. The next door was just before the linoleum of the kitchen. He opened it and was relieved to see a full-bath. Adam flicked on the light and went inside. He pissed, washed his hands, and went back to David.
“Yeah.” Adam ambled to the couch, all to aware of the strain his belly was putting on his back. He eased himself down and looked over to David.
“Let me go get my bag and we’ll get started.”
When David returned Adam had already removed his shirt and was laying down on the couch.
“I’ll check your weigh gain last then,” David laughed, and squatted beside Adam. “Alright first I’m going to check your fundal height.” Adam watched as David stretched a tape measure from the bottom of his belly and then probed around at the top. “You’re twenty-three weeks and one day today so for a singleton pregnancy you would be measuring around twenty-three inches. With twins there really is no set expectation and as of right now you’re measuring almost twenty-six. I know the last week you were still under weight by what I would expect you to be, so we’ll see if that’s changed in a minute. First let me check your blood pressure and then we’ll listen to the heartbeat.”
“Sounds good.” Adam offered up his arm and David strapped on the cuff efficiently. Adam listened to the wheezing sound the bulb made when David squeezed it, trying to distract himself from the tightening cuff. He’d always hated it when the cuff tightened and he felt like his heart was throbbing in his arm.
“Ninety-five over sixty two, perfect.”
Adam sighed when the cuff relaxed its hold and David removed it.
“How are you going to listen to the heartbeat?”
“I’ve got a Fetal Doppler with me. It uses ultrasound waves too, but instead of showing up on a screen it’s attached to a speaker so we can listen in.”
Adam felt a smile creep across his face. “Can we do it again when Tommy gets here?”
“Sure.” David retrieved the Doppler and a bottle from his bag and finally got tired of squatting. He slid the coffee table forward. It was solid and didn’t stand a chance of collapsing under David’s weight. “That’s better.” He turned on the Doppler and the sound of static filled room. “Now I’m sure you remember the gel from the ultrasound?”
“Yeah, stuff’s kinda hard to forget.”
“It’s gonna be cold.”
“Yeah.” Adam knew to expect it but when the cold substance poured onto his skin he still shivered.
“Alright, let’s see what we have here.” David pressed the probe into his skin and smoothed the gel over his belly. “Is there any place you’re feeling more movement, do you think you might know how they’re situated?”
“I’m feeling a lot of kicks and I’m pretty sure it’s tiny little feet here.” Adam indicated to the left side of his navel, “and it seems like I’m also getting them here,” he hovered a hand over the right side of his belly closer to the middle.
“That gives me more of an idea of where to listen.” David moved the probe and soon a rhythmic sound echoed through the room. “Here we go.” David closed his eyes and Adam watched him curiously. After several seconds David opened his eyes. “Thirty-five beats in fifteen seconds, so that means this ones little heart is pitter-pattering at one-hundred-forty beats per minute.”
“It’s so fast.” Adam listened on in wonder.
“The smaller the heart the faster it beats, and the little one is in the healthy range. Lets see if I can locate baby number two.”
The probe moved again this time closer to the opposite side of his bump and the galloping of a tiny heart filled the room again. Again David shut his eyes and listened. “Thirty-one beats in fifteen seconds, one-hundred-twenty-four beats per minute. Again perfectly normal. Are they both fairly active?”
“Yeah, I think I noticed it more in the studio because I was being conscious of rubbing my belly, but they seem to be moving around.”
“Are you still sleeping okay?”
“Once I get comfortable, yeah…the dreams though.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty normal for dreams to be more vivid in pregnancy. You might want to invest in a body pillow. Once your belly gets a little bigger you’ll appreciate the extra support.”
“I also got in touch with Bob Hayworth. He does at least three C-sections a month at the hospital and he has senior authority to take over an OR. I told him a little about your case, not who you were, but that I had a patient who needed a confidential C-section and he said he could set it up with his team. As soon as you start noticing a pattern with your contractions we’ll head back to LA.”
Adam knew then and there that he wouldn’t be going to the hospital, but he wasn’t going to tell David that until he’d talked to Tommy. “Alright, glad that’s taken care of, anything else?”
“You’re far enough along in your pregnancy that you might start feeling Braxton Hicks. They’re your body’s way of getting ready for labor. Some women get them, some don’t, but I figured it best to give you a warning. If you do feel a contraction coming on put your hand against your lower abdomen. It will feel rigid as your uterus contracts. These shouldn’t be overly painful, should only last a minute or two, will be irregular, and won’t change in intensity. If they regulate into a pattern or are more then a discomfort let me know.”
“Oh fun, something else to look forward to.”
“Also, make sure while you’re here that you stay active. I know you can’t really go to the gym so take advantage of the pool or the private beach. Swim, take a walk in the sand. It will keep up your muscle tone. Also, there’s an exercise I want you to do to help with your abdominal muscles. It will make it easier to get your shape back after the birth. Let me weigh you real quick and then I’ll show you how to do it.” David leaned down and rifled through his bag. He produced a towel and handed it to Adam so he could rub the goo off his belly.
After wiping off Adam sat up, put his feet on the floor, and threw his body forward. Once upright he stood still for a minute. Then the world went white and he was falling. When his vision finally came back into focus he was sprawled on the couch with David hovering over him. David’s fingers were pressed into his wrist, presumably checking his pulse. “Sorry, shit.”
“Get up too quick?”
“Wanna try it again a little slower?”
“Yeah.” David gripped his arm and helped him to stand. He stood there a minute taking deep breaths.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Adam lied; he was still a little fuzzy around the edges.
“Okay then.” David went fishing through his bag again and produced a digital scale. He sat in on the hardwood and offered his hand out to Adam. “Come on up.”
Adam dutifully stepped onto the scale and waited. “I was at one-seventy by the end of the tour. What’s the damage? Last week I was at one-eighty-eight.”
“Looks like you’ve lost two pounds. No reoccurring morning sickness?”
“You’ve been eating small regular meals?”
Adam knew enough to look sheepish. “I forget. Then sometimes I feel like I eat way too much and other times I don’t eat at all.”
“It’s for the babies.”
“I know. I’m sure being here and having pretty much nothing to do will help my memory.”
“Plus I’ll be around after work. I’ll be making sure you’re eating balanced meals for dinner at least.”
“That sounds good, now what about the exercise?”
“Oh yeah, okay so what you’re going to do is carefully get onto your hands and knees.”
“Ooo sounds like my kinda fun already.”
David laughed and helped Adam get down onto his knees. “You be good or I’ll tell Tommy.”
“Tell Tommy what?” Came Tommy’s voice from the hall.
“David’s gonna tell you how he asked me to get on my hands a knees for him,” replied Adam, just as Tommy made it into the living room.
“I told Adam I was going tell you how naughty he was being because I asked him to get down on his knees,” said David.
Tommy just laughed and a faint blush painted his cheeks.
“Well now that I’m down here, what am I doing?”
“What you’re going to do is contract those stomach muscles while arching up your back like a cat does when it’s frightened. You should feel those muscles working as you bring in your belly.”
“Like this?” Adam asked, doing just as David described.
“Just like that. Now when you do it hold that position for about ten seconds and then relax, letting your back bow with the weight of your belly. Do these in sets of twenty before bed. They’ll help strengthen your core and help ease some of the pressure on your back. After doing a full set it should also help you sleep. And on nights you and Tommy are intimate you can probably skip the exercises.”
“Okay easy enough.” Adam pushed back and until he was situated on his knees and without a word Tommy was there to help him up from the floor.
“Everything good?” The words were pressed into Adam’s neck as Tommy nuzzled into him.
“Yeah, but David and I have something to show you.” Adam returned to the couch and laid down, the fuzziness settling once he was horizontal again.
“Tommy, take a seat by Adam’s head. I’m pretty sure the couch is big enough to accommodate Adam and your tiny butt.”
“Maybe, I’ll fit.” Tommy grinned when Adam reached out and tugged Tommy down beside him.
“Okay now Adam, gonna get you all gelled up again.” David warned two seconds before the goop hit. Adam let out a quick breath when goose bumps traveled up his arms.
“I remember that stuff,” Tommy observed.
“Yeah, but this time is different,” Adam replied and gripped Tommy’s hand as the probe slid across his belly.
Adam and Tommy had heard the heartbeat before, during the first ultrasound, but David didn’t have a Doppler for the past couple of checkups so they didn’t get to listen in. Adam held his breath waiting for it and let it out in a woosh when the static was replaced by something more. He squeezed Tommy’s hand and looked up at him. Tommy’s eyes were wide and the smile plastered on his face was the best thing Adam had seen in a week.
“Sounds like horses.” Tommy’s voice was filled with awe.
“Horses?” Adam looked at Tommy quizzically.
“You know like galloping? It’s so fast.” Tommy had a hand pressed to the pulse point on his own neck.
“Yeah, I was telling Adam earlier, the smaller the heart the faster it beats. Both babies are doing well from what I could tell, but I’ll be keeping an eye on Adam’s diet while I’m here.”
“Glad to hear it, but since we’re away from the prying eyes of the paps I’m hoping Adam will let go of some of his fears about getting fat.”
“I’m trying,” sighed Adam.
They were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. David tossed the towel at Adam so he could wipe up again and put away the Doppler. “I’ll get it,” David said when Tommy moved to get up.
Before Adam could make a move to clean up the mess on his belly Tommy had grabbed the towel. When all the stuff was gone Tommy handed Adam his shirt from the back of the couch and Adam put it on. He’d no sooner managed to get the worn fabric pulled over his belly when his mom and Dia came into the living room trailed by David. There was a swarm of hugs and then Leila saw what Adam was wearing.
“Honey, hate to tell you, but there’s no way you’re going out shopping like this. If anyone recognized you it would be all over the gossip rags with just one cell phone pic. It would give away your location and people would speculate about why you’re here. More importantly, you’re showing now and you can’t spend the day in a hoodie without overheating.”
“So what are we going to do?” asked Adam.
Dia shared a little smirk with Leila. “The boys haven’t found their surprise yet.”
“Obviously not, come on Adam, Tommy… Dia and I went ahead and picked up a few things this week and came down when they were delivered. Used the credit card you so dutifully supplied me with in case of emergencies. Don’t worry, as a gift to you boys Dia and I are splitting the bill.” Leila ushered Adam and Tommy upstairs with Dia and David close behind.
“This is the master bedroom.” Dia indicated the first door they passed.
“And here is the temporary nursery until you’re ready to go back home. We purchased everything you might need for the first couple of months and some small furniture. Not all of it actually is in here though. Most of the stuff we figured would end up in your room anyway. With two babies it’ll be easier to have them close at hand.” Leila pushed open the door to the nursery.
Adam was immediately caught by the colors of the walls. They were aqua and the moldings on the window on the opposite wall had been painted like a picture frame and were adorned with trinkets. Starfish, sea turtles, seahorses, sand dollars and the likes had been glued to the fuax-frame. It was charming and reminded him of trips to the beach when he was a kid. When he finally managed to look away from the window he noticed the bassinets in the middle of the floor. He wandered over and smoothed a hand over the light green fabric covering one mattress. When he looked closer he noticed a faint pattern of dragonflies adorning it. The other bassinet cover was a pale yellow and was dotted with peach smiling suns. It was a twins’ bassinet so they were side by side in a frame and the outside was a sandy brown.
“Mom it’s perfect,” Adam whispered.
“And it’s just the right height to settle against the bed. That way if one of them gets fussy in the night they’ll be near.”
“You think of everything,” Tommy laughed, “somehow I get the feeling we aren’t going to be sleeping for a couple months.
“If they’re anything like Adam here, try about a year.”
“I was just tuning up my voice mom, and if it wasn’t for all that wailing I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“Ahh you know I loved you even when I was pretty sure I was going deaf.” Leila came over to him a squeezed him in a hug.
“Love you too. Okay so now we have somewhere for them to sleep, what else?”
“The closet has the majority of the loot. We bought plenty of diapers and wipes; baby Tylenol, nail clippers, shampoo. The baby tub is in your master bathroom. We picked up a ton of sleepers and a few non-gender specific little outfits incase you wanted to have pictures taken. There are bottles in the cabinet over the sink and powdered formula. The car seats are in the hallway closet by the front door. Tommy you should probably install them and then run by the local highway patrol office to make everything is installed correctly. Oh there’s also a pair of Moses baskets in the closet. They’ll be handy for the babies to nap in during the day if you want them to be downstairs with you.” Leila finally took a breath.
“Wow, that’s a lot of stuff.” Tommy’s breath brushed Adam’s neck when he pulled Adam into his arms.
“Yeah and trust me that’s not even the half of it I’m sure,” said Dia. “That’s only what she can remember. I’ll add that there’s baby powder and diaper rash cream. I made sure we got a small stock of it because Tommy’s lil butt here seemed to get rashes every time I turned around. I always changed him as soon as I noticed he was wet. Only thing I could ever figure is he just had a sensitive lil butt.”
“Mooom,” Tommy whined, sounding very much like a petulant little boy who was denied desert.
“Oh honey, it’s best you know just in case some of that DNA of yours lends a repeat performance.”
Tommy made a huffing sound and snuggled under Adam’s arm with his hand on Adam’s belly.
“Now since Adam’s going to miss our little shopping trip I’ll order in some lunch for everyone while the unpacking begins,” said Leila, “and Dia and I will head out to find Adam some clothes that fit. Sorry sweetie, you’re going to be getting very acquainted with men’s yoga pants, and I think judging by how tight that shirt is in the chest area a good sports bra wouldn’t hurt either. Do you want us to pick you up some loose shirts? I know with it being so warm out that you probably won’t be wearing a lot as long as you’re staying in, but just in case something comes up?”
“Yeah, a couple of shirts would be good, biggest size you can find. And umm, since I don’t want to make things awkward with poor David here could you pick me up some swim trunks? I’ll probably spend a good amount of time avoiding the heat, but I don’t think David wants to come in after work to find my naked ass in the pool. Not to say I won’t skinny dip, just that I’ll try to respect the fact it’s not just Tommy and I sharing the house.”
“I think we can do that.” Dia nodded and scribbled into the small notepad she’d retrieved from her purse.
“Alright you guys get to unpacking. I’ll call the pizza place while Dia’s driving and order lunch. Adam I know as long as it’s pizza you’ll eat it, same for you Tommy, but David anything you won’t eat?”
“I prefer pepperoni and jalapeno pizza with extra cheese.”
Tommy and Adam’s faces both lit up. “I think we have a winner since I’m not seeing anything but smiles from them,” Leila chuckled. “Alright, back in a while. By the way, the gate code is nine four six seven, but don’t give that password to anyone. Anytime you order out for food, tell them to dial the house number and you can buzz them in.
“Thanks for the heads up,” said Tommy.
More hugs were exchanged and then Dia and Leila took their leave.
Adam was excited that their moms had managed to get so much stuff for the babies, but I could see how thin the thread he was hanging onto was. Tommy told Adam to go grab a nap and he’d wake him up when the food came in. Adam was relieved. He retired to the master bedroom and immediately fell into the king-sized bed. I was worried by that point because Adam’s skin had lost the peachy tone it should’ve had and he was covered in a sheen of sweat.
It wasn’t until he lurched from the bed and into the bathroom that I realized exactly how much Adam had managed to cover up. Adam was on his knees in front of the toilet. He puked what was left of the coffee and when the dry heaving started he made a pitiful noise, one hand pressed to his belly and rubbing it in slow circles. When it passed Adam went limp with his head resting on his arm against the cool toilet seat.
I felt guilty intruding when Adam started to speak in hushed tones to his babies. It was so intimate and my throat tightened with emotions when Adam finally acknowledged his mistake. That was the day Adam made a promise to his babies. He whispered the words that would change the way he spent the following months. Adam made a commitment to his children that he would eat so that he wouldn’t end up in this space again.
Adam still felt a little queasy and a lot dizzy by the time Tommy came back upstairs.
“Baby?” Tommy came into the bathroom.
“I’m okay, was just a lil nauseous. Coffee didn’t settle I guess.”
“You up to eating? Food’s here.”
“Yeah, just help me up?” Adam took Tommy’s hand and carefully made his way onto his feet. The world swam a little around the edges, but after a minute everything stilled. He flushed the toilet and went over to the sink, hand still gripping Tommy’s tightly. He turned on the water, cupped his palm, and leaned over the sink. He washed his mouth out with water repeatedly until the vile taste of acidic coffee dulled.
“Yeah, better, though I’m not sure how the hell I can be so hungry after being sick.”
“Forgot to eat breakfast didn’t you?”
“S’why you’re hungry, come on, let’s go eat.
Tommy, Adam and David gathered in the living room around the pizza box and spent the next hour eating and talking about everything in the world. The nasty lightheadedness finally eased and Adam was content to spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch. Once David and Tommy finished up their plates they returned to bringing in boxes from the U-Haul and left Adam to lull. He stared contentedly out the window at the waves. He could just imagine how hot the sand would be beneath his feet, but this evening when the sun finally settled low on the horizon he would probably be out there. He’d never been able to resist the lure of the ocean as she sang her siren’s song.
Adam wasn’t sure how long he’d spaced out while David and Tommy worked, but he was brought back to the present by the squirming within. He laughed and rubbed a hand over his bump. He could just imagine how all this was going to feel as the babies got bigger and started running out of space. He wondered how much more compressed his lungs could get. As of now when he took a deep breath he had to fight for it.
“Feelin’ okay?” Tommy asked and plopped down beside him.
“Yeah, food helped. I was just enjoying the view until one of them decided to start tap-dancing in there.”
Tommy’s hand joined Adam’s on his belly and for several minutes Adam guided their intertwined fingers over the stretched expanse of skin as it fluttered beneath their fingertips. Tommy smiled, but Adam noted it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Tommy was somewhere else. Adam recognized that look, had seen it many times recently.
“Hey now, talk to me.”
Tommy shook himself out of it. “I was just thinking about how my dad must’ve done this when mom was pregnant.”
“I’m sure he did, baby. And you know, I know it hurts that he’s not here, but in a way he is. He lives in you and in these babies because they’re a part of you.”
“You always know how to make me feel better,” Tommy whispered, his voice tight with emotion.
“S’what I’m here for.” Adam kissed Tommy softly.
“Thanks,” Tommy murmured against Adam’s lips. “Better get back to the boxes. Between David and I we have most of the boxes brought in. All that’s left really is the kitchen stuff and the food we brought down, which reminds me I’m going to have to run out at some point and stock up on perishables. Anything you want me to pick up specifically?”
“A canned ham? We brought the honey and spices didn’t we?”
“I’ve kinda been craving honey coated ham… think it would be delicious with some cinnamon.”
“Sounds interesting, I’d try it. Anything else.”
“Nah, if I think of anything I’ll let you know.”
“Gonna start bringing in the kitchen stuff.”
“Alright, don’t work too hard.”
“Heh, I’ll try but with this heat I’m pretty sure I’m gonna sweat what little ass I have off.”
“Can’t be having that.” Adam gave Tommy a suggestive smirk.
“I know what you’re thinking. Let’s just see how tired we are tonight after getting everything settled.”
“Yeah, gotta see how much stuff our moms come back with.”
Tommy just groaned on the way out of the room.
Adam spent the next three hours alternately dozing on the couch and running to the bathroom. He’d been sipping on a bottle of water Tommy had supplied while they were eating and swore that for every sip he took he pissed two times that. At around three his mom came into the living room loaded with bags. “Did you lose Dia?”
“No, she’s helping Tommy and David with the last few boxes they had to bring in. Let’s go to your room. Want you to check out everything and make sure we found enough that will grow with you until the babies are born.”
They headed upstairs and Adam dutifully tried on most everything in the bags, checking the give of the material. He carefully avoided one of the items until it was the last thing that remained in the bag.
“Adam, honey, you need to see if it fits.”
“I know,” he sighed.
“The further into the pregnancy you get, the more you’ll appreciate the support. Since Dani said you had a uterus and you seem to be progressing like a woman, I’m beginning to think that’s going to include milk-filled breasts that are going to be tender.”
Adam’s face flushed with embarrassment. His mom had always been really to the point with him about everything, but this was more humiliating than having the safe sex talk when he came out. “Yeah, umm, I think I’ll just try it on in the bathroom.”
“I’ll go downstairs, but sometimes sports bras roll up in the back and can be nearly impossible to fix yourself.”
“It’s okay, just stay… stay here just in case.” Adam’s eyes were downcast when he grabbed the bra and headed to the bathroom.
Adam slipped the contraption over his head and pulled it down over his chest to cover his breasts. With some contorting he managed to yank down the back where it had rolled up and then smoothed the material. He took a breath and finally looked in the mirror. The harsh light from the bathroom did nothing to conceal any of his many imperfections, but he was sickly fascinated. There he stood in a pair of long black yoga pants, the bottoms of which sat in a puddle at his feet since he’d left them so low on his groin. With the pants concealing his cock the entire picture was shocking. His belly protruded and he had a hand at his back to support the strain, but with the bra, from the neck down all he saw was woman. She was a tall pregnant woman with freckles dotting her pale skin. He finally looked into his eyes in the mirror and was even more surprised to see more androgyny there than he was accustomed to. His face was even rounder and the line of his beard had become more faint, as if the hair was growing more slowly. The hair on his head was another matter; it was much longer than it had been in some time and lay in scruffy waves. The entire image spelled woman. These thoughts drifted away when his mother’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“M’fine, it fits, it’s… comfortable.” The word felt wrong in his mouth.
A little over two weeks later on a random Tuesday, Adam got quite the shock. The previous Saturday he’d had his twenty-five week appointment. Weekly appointments weren’t the norm for pregnancy until closer to the due date, but David had insisted it was better they keep a eye on him since this wasn’t exactly average. Adam didn’t mind though.
Since moving in I’d seen Adam swimming in the pool or strolling the beach with Tommy on countless occasions. When Adam swam I could see the joy in his face and what tension he’d been carrying would melt away with the buoyancy of his body. He and Tommy had become closer and Adam had been hinting about the possibility of giving birth.
In the past two weeks Adam had been dreaming of the birth almost nightly until he’d finally watched himself give birth. Again it should’ve been a typical Tuesday, but then Adam opened his eyes and became aware of his body.
Adam stretched and yawned. He immediately noticed something felt off. Confused, he opened his eyes. From his slightly elevated position in the pillows he could usually see his toes, but not today. A little befuddled he struggled into a sitting position with his feet just touching the floor. He slid forward and stood, careful to get his center of gravity, and then waddled into the bathroom.
The mirror revealed that his toes were still intact and Adam stood there gaping. There was definitely no way he could hide his pregnancy now. He wasn’t even sure how his body would handle getting any bigger. As it was Adam’s back ached and the area around his hips felt wrong. He turned so he was facing his reflection and noted his hips were indeed wider than they’d been just a couple of months ago.
“Adam, come back to bed.” Tommy’s voice was still thick with sleep.
“Uhh, no, come in here you’ve gotta see this.”
Adam heard Tommy’s feet hit the floor and when Tommy appeared in the doorway he was rubbing at his eyes. When he caught sight of Adam he dropped his hand from his face. “Wow, you finally popped.”
“Popped? Erm, no that would imply the babies were here, this is… I don’t even… just stick a fork in me… I look like I swallowed a beach ball.” Adam’s voice climbed with panic for reasons he couldn’t define.
“You’re carrying twins, honey. You’ve been showing, but with your height there was more room in your abdomen. It just means the babies are growing big enough that they need more room. Besides you look amazing.” Tommy came up behind him. Tattooed arms laced around him and Tommy rubbed his belly. From his view in the mirror it looked like he had four arms, but Tommy was pressed close with his cheek resting in the middle of Adam’s back. Tommy shifted just enough so he could peak out under Adam’s arm. The movement let Adam feel the length of Tommy’s cock on his upper thigh.
“You’re totally turned on by me looking like this aren’t you?” Adam shivered when Tommy nuzzled into him. Then Tommy slipped around so that his jaw was resting against Adam’s nipple. The tiny pin pricks of Tommy’s facial hair sent a mix of pleasure and almost too much sensation that verged on pain.
“Every time I look at you… you look different… rounder, fuller, and your skin glows. I never… I don’t know. I never understood what people meant when they said women had that pregnant glow, but I see it with you. And you’re growing, teeming with life. That’s the product of us in there.” Tommy whispered softly, his hand stroking circles into Adam’s bump. “You’re carrying our babies.”
“Yeah, but I feel like a cow.” Adam carded his fingers through Tommy’s hair.
“You’re beautiful.” Tommy nosed against Adam’s chest and finally tugged a nipple into his mouth. Adam groaned and Tommy stroked and toyed with it until it became a tight little bud. Tommy shifted to the other side and repeated the process while he used his fingers on the nipple he’d abandoned.
Adam had noticed that in the past couple of weeks he hadn’t been waking up with morning wood, and this morning was no different, but now his cock was paying attention. The hormones coursing through his body had changed him but Adam was glad they hadn’t taken this from him yet. He whined when Tommy’s teeth scraped over his nipple and his cock twitched and lengthened as he stood there, Tommy latched to his chest. Their eyes suddenly locked and emotions surged through Adam. Love, trust, and need all fought for their place; Adam used his grip in Tommy’s hair to tug him away from his chest. “Bend… bend over, baby. Gotta… wanna be inside you.” Adam’s normal calm fell away and he was desperate to feel Tommy’s ass on his cock.
Tommy bent over the vanity so fast that he sent several products skittering to the floor. Then he looked over his shoulder at Adam with desire in his eyes and said, “Yeah, okay.” Their eyes met for a brief second before Tommy started searching the vanity. He spotted some of Adam's hand cream and reached for it, but Adam beat him to it.
“Glad we agree that the lube is too fucking far away.” Adam took the cap off the hand cream and let it drop to the floor. It landed on its side with a click and rolled away. He poured a generous amount of the fruity cream over his fingers, more than half of it making a wet sound as it hit the floor. Fingers slick he nudged them between Tommy’s ass cheeks. Tommy’s thin whine hit Adam hard and without preamble he slipped two of his fingers in. Adam was too far gone to do it right, but he made sure Tommy’s insides were coated and stretched him enough that he knew he wouldn’t do any damage. He withdrew his fingers, tipped the cream into his hand again and coated his cock before pushing into Tommy.
“Too fast,” said Tommy, but the words reached Adam’s ears too late. By the time his sluggish brain had rolled them around long enough to get meaning from them Tommy’s ass was against his groin, and his belly was sitting on Tommy’s back. Tommy’s body was tense and it took every bit of willpower Adam had to keep still. He made soft shushing noises, murmured apologies, and wished for just five minutes that his belly wasn’t there so he could fold himself against Tommy’s back. Adam bit his lip and waited. Slowly Tommy relaxed beneath him.
“Please.” Tommy’s voice was so soft Adam wasn’t sure he’d heard it, but all doubts were banished with the wiggle of Tommy’s hips.
Adam dug his fingertips into Tommy’s hips. He wanted to leave his mark on Tommy and bruises would have to do since he couldn’t lean in to suck and nip places on Tommy’s neck. He pulled out and then pulled Tommy’s ass back to meet his groin. It yanked Tommy away from the vanity, bent him further in half so Adam’s thrusts weren’t hindered by his bump. Tommy’s upper half disappeared from view, the stance of his feet opened, and Adam could see his hands gripping his ankles. He knew Tommy was limber, but this was definitely a new one on him. The angle mixed with Tommy’s height, or lack there of, left Adam driving downward into Tommy. Each time he pounded it tested his balance as his center of gravity shifted, but it was worth feeling like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Tommy was making these amazing little hurt noises each time Adam brushed against his spot and it furthered Adam’s need. He needed to hear Tommy lose it.
Minutes passed unnoticed as their bodies slammed together. Adam had never been one to come too soon, but he was far beyond his normal ability to hold off his orgasm. He felt it curling and tightening at the base of his spine, but his focus was on Tommy. Tommy, who couldn’t take his hands off his ankles without disturbing his precarious position, and Adam, who could no longer do a reach around. But Adam knew Tommy’s buttons and began to press them one by one.
Adam switched to short, rapid stabs and smirked when Tommy cried out and begged for more.
“You like it when I focus right in on that spot don’t you? My cock rubbing right over it again and again.”
Tommy made a garbled noise and Adam took it for what he knew it was, an agreement.
“You like just bending over for me and taking it. I like it too. Your ass squeezing my dick like that,” Adam panted, his voice ragged.
“Ad…. Adam… need.”
“Yeah I know what you need, baby.” A little dirty talk always got Tommy riled.
Adam knew Tommy was close. He could feel the way that gorgeous body was tightening around his cock. Adam pulled all the way out and before Tommy could protest, he slammed back in hard and deep. Tommy’s scream would put an opera singer to shame and the telltale sound of come splattering linoleum was porn-worthy. Adam finally absorbed the feel of Tommy milking his cock and with one more sharp snap of his hips he let his orgasm take over.
It seemed to go on forever as he spent himself and when he finally came down, he realized exactly how out of breath he was. Several moments later he managed to pull out of Tommy. On wobbly legs he collected a washcloth and wetted it in the sink. He cleaned up and collapsed on the toilet before his knees gave out. Tommy was grasping the vanity, his face red from being bent over so long.
“That was… wow. C’mere, baby, let me look at you,” said Adam.
“Figured it would be easier for you to move if I was bent like that. Might be one to revisit minus the belly,” Tommy rasped as he tried to walk. His throat was scratchy and abused from screaming. “My legs completely feel like jello thanks to you…so worth it though.”
Tommy’s grip never left the sink and when he came closer Adam could see the way his legs trembled. Still Tommy took direction well and leaned onto the vanity when Adam nudged him forward. From his seat on the toilet Tommy was just the right height for Adam to have a nice view of the milky white that leaked from Tommy. Adam did a brief check and was relieved to see that in his haste to devour his lover, he hadn't caused any physical damage. He leaned in and allowed himself a taste, his tongue tracing over Tommy's hole and delving just inside. The flavor was tantalizing, but after only one lick Tommy made a soft sound of pain and shifted on his feet.
Adam pulled away. “Sorry baby, I just… things have been so weird with my hormones. Seems like this is the first time I’ve been hard since the last time you sucked me off.”
“Your sex drive has definitely changed, but David said that could happen. I understand, it’s not something you can help.” Tommy turned on his heel to face Adam. He stroked a finger across Adam’s cheek. “I’ve just taken to longer showers.”
“You don’t have to hide from me.”
“I know, it’s just… I know you’re tired when we go to bed. I don’t want to keep you up. You know I’ve never been quiet even if I’m playing with myself.”
“Yeah, just… I don’t mind.”
“Okay, then maybe sometimes I’ll take advantage of the bed.” Tommy kissed Adam thoroughly. “Now come on, baby, let’s go have breakfast.”
They left the bathroom with come and lotion marking the floor and the lotion cap lying beside the tub. It could be taken care of later, because right now Adam was starving and feeling the strain of their excursion all throughout his body.
“Sit, I’ll take care of us.” Tommy directed Adam to the table and pulled out the chair like a gentleman.
“Thanks,” Adam said with a smile and grabbed Tommy’s wrist before he got out of reach. He pulled him down for a quick kiss.
Tommy nibbled Adam’s bottom lip and finally pulled away to putter around the kitchen. Adam watched, bemused, while Tommy gathered a pot, the honey bear, raisins, a banana, milk, a measuring cup, and the oatmeal. Between Tommy and David, Adam felt like he was being mothered most of the time, but in the best way possible. And since moving in the beach house Adam had managed to gain a few pounds. David had been pleased to see the numbers on the scale climb, but for Adam it was a mixed blessing. Old insecurities crept in at those moments and the fear that he wouldn’t be able to lose the weight after the babies were here plagued him.
He was drawn from his thoughts a few minutes later when a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of milk were placed in front of him. The oatmeal was dotted with a topping of raisins and chunks of banana, but what pleased Adam the most was the swirl of golden honey. Adam didn’t think oatmeal could look appetizing; most of the time he thought of it as the dog food of the human world, but as he sunk his spoon into his bowl his mouth watered.
“S’hot, careful,” Tommy warned, and then plopped down in the chair beside him.
“Mmm, smells delicious though.”
“You sound surprised.”
“Oh come on, up until we got here I’d never even seen you turn on a stove.”
“Good point,” Tommy conceded.
Adam laughed at the little smirk Tommy gave him. That was the end of talking for a while; they both focused on their breakfast. Adam scooped up a bite and blew on it until the steam wafting from it dissipated. Tentatively he brought the spoon to his lips. He tested it against his top lip and when it didn’t singe the tender skin he stuck the spoon in his mouth. He made a contented hum when all the flavors combined in his mouth. Yep, it was definitely a delicious combination. He happily ate the rest of the bowl in between sips of milk until his spoon was making horrible scraping noises against the bowl.
“Nope, just don’t wanna waste any. It was too good to leave anything behind.”
“At the rate you’re going I’m waiting for you to lick the bowl clean.”
“If my tongue was a little longer,” Adam lamented with a pout and Tommy cracked up.
Adam finally gave up scraping the bowl. He grabbed it and took it to the sink, rinsed it out, and put it in the dishwasher. When he stood up to close the dishwasher door something felt off. He put a hand on the counter and braced the other low on his abdomen. The muscles there were tight.
“Hey, what is it?” Tommy came up beside him.
“I think it’s a Braxton Hicks,” Adam replied. He focused on the rhythm of his breathing as the nagging discomfort radiated from the center of his belly downward.
Distantly Adam realized Tommy had also placed a hand on his lower abdomen. “That’s a contraction. We should call David.”
“No, just give me a second and I’ll explain.” Slowly the tension melted away and Adam relaxed. “David said I might occasionally have Braxton Hicks contractions. He said it’s my body’s way of preparing for labor.”
Tommy’s forehead was still lined with worry. “But you’re going to be having a C-section. You told me that David got in touch with a doctor who could do it.”
“Yeah, well… it’s not like my body has a C-section button. And since you brought it up… for the past few weeks I’ve been having these really vivid dreams. They started before we moved here.”
“I had a feeling there was something you weren’t telling me,” Tommy interrupted.
“Only because it makes me sounds crazy. I’ve been dreaming of giving birth. I don’t think I’m supposed to have a C-section. The first time I had the dream I… I was in labor, but we were here. I was in the living room and you were there. David was in the house, but I never saw him. Each time I would dream it, it was like it picked up where it left off, and when… when we moved here… it was the same house.”
“But you don’t… how?”
“In the dream you delivered the first baby with David by your side. The second, I delivered him alone. I’m not sure if that’s the way it will happen, but I feel like the dream was meant to guide me to the fact that I’m meant to birth them.”
“Adam, you don’t have a…” Tommy trailed off, eyes wide.
“I’m not supposed to have a uterus either, but yeah somehow when that happened everything got routed.”
“Adam… you’re honestly telling me in these dreams… I can’t even…”
“I was shocked too, but I guess it will work the same way it does with your cock when you can’t piss when you’re hard. I mean I watched myself give birth and as horrific a picture as I’m sure you are imagining, it pretty much looked like that birth video I had to watch in sex ed. The only thing that was different was the obvious lack of vagina.”
“Okay… okay so… yeah… I…” Tommy walked over to the table and sat down again.
Adam followed and carefully lowered himself into the chair beside him. “I know it’s a lot to take in. The dreams though, they gave me some reassurance that things will be fine.”
“If you’re sure, you know I’ll support you. We just have to talk it over with David. He said Dani would be doing an ultrasound sometime in the next few weeks. Maybe the ultrasound could confirm you have a birth canal.”
“Yeah, maybe so.”
That my friends, was how the groundwork for the birth got laid out. While Tommy was more than a little unsure about how it would all work out in the end, Adam’s confidence in the fact everything would be okay allowed Tommy to go with it.
I should also add that those dreams were no fluke. They began to show Adam the way and though some of the events would differ from the dreams they still gave Adam vital information. One of the babies was not going to be an average birth and The Fates wanted Adam to be prepared to deal with it.
That evening when David came in from work Adam informed him of his first practice contraction. And together with Tommy they discussed the fact that Adam wanted to give birth. David took it all in stride, good man that he was. I guess he figured that he’d never expected to see a pregnant man to begin with and so a pregnant man giving birth couldn’t be that much of a stretch. Bless him. I’m glad Tommy and Adam had the support from David.
By the time they’d spent a full month in the house May had melted into June and Adam found he was starting to embrace his figure. At twenty-seven weeks he’d grown and changed so much. David was pleased with his weight gain and every night they all ate dinner together and discussed their lives.
David came in with grocery bags in hand and explained he would be making Carrot-Ginger soup. Adam wrinkled his nose and dragged Tommy outside by the pool.
Adam had never been a huge fan of carrots. Even less appetizing was the sound of carrots in soup. “Do I look like I eat rabbit food?” Adam asked while he slipped into the pool.
Tommy bit his lip to keep from laughing as he joined Adam in the water.
“Spit it out,” Adam sighed as he relaxed, the water taking the strain off his abused muscles.
“Do you know exactly how many salads I’ve watched you consume since I met you?”
“But never with carrots.”
“Salads are still rabbit food and please try it before you refuse to eat it. You’re eating a lot of things you didn’t eat before you got pregnant.”
“Yeah, I’ll try it.” Adam swam toward Tommy. He basked in the way the cool water slid against his skin. When he reached Tommy he laced their fingers together and pulled him close. They embraced and their bodies swayed. Tommy nosed at Adam’s neck and time slipped away from Adam. He was so focused on their breathing and the sounds of the water lapping around them that he startled when Tommy pulled out of his hold. Tommy flushed and Adam quirked a brow.
“You know what you do to me.” Tommy adjusted his swim trunks.
“You gonna use the bed tonight?”
“You know I always shower after we swim. I’ll just take care of it then.”
“Don’t… I… I can imagine how you must feel. It’s not like me to not want sex, but the urge just isn’t the way it was. Things spike my interest, but it’s almost like my dick doesn’t notice. I spoke to David about it; he thinks it’s probably due to the excess of estrogen in my body. I… just don’t want you to think it’s because I don’t find you attractive.”
Tommy swam back to Adam and pulled him into a tight hug. “Honey, I know. I know it’s not something you can help.”
“I miss you. That sounds silly when we’re usually together, but I miss that connection. Would you… wait until tonight? I wanna be close to you while you’re giving yourself pleasure. And maybe it will spark something for me too. Even if it doesn’t, I still need that. I need to touch you and kiss you through it.”
“I’ll wait,” Tommy promised. They shared a tender kiss, but were interrupted by the sound of the sliding door.
“Dinner’s ready,” David called.
Tommy helped him from the pool. Adam always hated this part, how much heavier his body felt after just a short time in the water. Together they went back in and left water droplets all the way from the sliding doors and up the stairs to their bedroom. For the first time in what seemed like months they quickly showered together to wash off all the chlorine, and the next several minutes were spent in silence as they toweled off. Tommy threw on a pair of Dracula boxers and a Metallica shirt, neither doing anything to conceal his erection or the flushed expanse of his neck. Adam was relieved to see Tommy pull on a pair of baggy assed jeans. Maybe this way they could pretend it was a normal dinner and that the sexual tension radiating from Tommy’s pores was nothing out of the ordinary. Tommy blew him a kiss and walked downstairs without a word, leaving Adam, his skin prickling with something akin to arousal, alone.
Adam sighed and pulled on yet another pair of yoga pants. He situated them low on his abdomen. And as un-masculine as it felt Adam reached for the sports bra. His chest, breasts, a tiny voice in his head amended, were achy and felt wrong. Instead of pulling the contraption over his head he stepped into it and shimmied it up is body. It was some task to get it over his belly, but he figured it was less humiliating than having to call Tommy for help. He managed to get it on and found one of the extra large tees in the closet. Finally he took a look in the full-length mirror in his walk-in closet. He ruffled his fingers through his wet hair and then it was off to face the carrots.
“About time you join us,” said David while he spooned white blobs into bowls filled with rich orange.
“Takes me a little longer to get dressed these days.”
“I’d imagine so. Still trying to adjust to the fact your center of gravity isn’t exactly where you remember it being?”
“Yeah, so what did I miss?”
“Was just about to tell Tommy about a case.”
“Interesting?” Adam asked and sat down at the table beside Tommy.
“Yeah, try your soup and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Adam wrinkled his nose and Tommy snickered. “Yeah Adam, the carrots won’t bite.”
Adam gave in and grabbed his spoon. He slid it into the bowl and was amazed that the soup appeared creamy. He’d expected the soup to have baby carrots floating around in it, but this was something else entirely. He inhaled the scent of it as it wafted up his nose and ginger permeated his senses. His stomach rumbled and he gave into the temptation to take a bite. The spoon captured the rich substance as well as some of the white blob that sat in the middle and he shoved it in his mouth. The flavors melded on his tongue. He tasted the carrots, but was not overwhelmed by them. Onion and ginger came through and he thought he tasted the hint of black pepper. He moaned his approval and nodded to David.
“I knew he’d like it.” Tommy’s words were mumbled around his spoon.
“I thought he would. The yogurt balances out the rest of the flavors so it’s not overwhelming. And it’s good for you and the babies,” David directed at Adam.
When Adam finally dragged his spoon from his mouth he muddled over his thoughts for a moment. For once he was eating for more than the need to nurture his body and he wondered what his babies’ favorite foods would be. He didn’t want them to grow up worrying about their weight like he had. He wanted them to be confident in their own skin. That would mean sacrificing his worries and setting a good example for them. Eating healthy and exercising instead of obsessing over calories. He guessed now was the best time to realize it. The thoughts slipped away when David began talking and he returned his attention to his spoon.
“I saw a twelve year old girl today. Some days I think Los Angeles is the best place in the world to live and other days the clinic reminds me how crazy people here can be.”
“People are crazy everywhere,” replied Tommy.
“I think an influx of them somehow find their way to Los Angeles though,” said Adam. “All the flashing lights draw them like bugs to a bug zapper, and then somehow they get twisted. The lack of fame, or endless search for recognition turns them into a shadow of their former selves. Some of them might’ve started out a little eccentric, but disappointment can change people, and in the words of Wicked, sometimes wickedness gets thrust upon them. Otherwise stable people do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do out of desperation or despair. I’ve seen it. Los Angeles is a make or break you kind of town. It’s the broken you have to look out for.” Adam’s words were quiet, but by the look on Tommy and David’s faces, he’d shocked them. He’d always spoken so fondly of LA in the past.
“I… well, yeah Adam. And I guess I was reminded of the broken today. This little girl, she’d been attacked on her way home from school. A gang had cornered her. She… she got away before they killed her. I’m not even sure how she managed it, but when her mom brought her in she was covered in cuts and bruises. This girl should’ve been taken to a hospital, but her mom brought her to us. I… it was near the end of my shift. Someone else talked to her mother. One of the nurses and I talked to the girl. It wasn’t until we’d taken off the sheet that we realized it was worse than we thought. Her clothing was torn and her shorts had been sliced to make a skirt. She…”
Adam could see the tears in David’s eyes. “But she’s okay?”
“We did what we could, assessed her, cleaned up the scraps as best we could, and sent her on to the hospital. They’ll bring out the rape kit, even though it was already apparent. They’ll give her the option of taking Plan B, the morning after pill. In the following weeks and months they’ll advise her mother to have her tested for STDs. The police will also take her statement at the hospital.”
“She’ll need counseling.” Tommy looked as distraught as Adam felt.
“Yeah, and hopefully she’ll get it. That’s why I just had to go to the market after work. Cooking helps me process the days that suck.”
“I just, if anyone ever done that to one of my babies.” Adam placed a protective hand over his bump.
“Keep them close Adam, it’s all you can do,” David replied tiredly.
“Yeah,” Adam sighed and pushed away his empty bowl.
“Sorry to put a damper on dinner. I just needed to get it out.” David wiped at his eyes. “To change the subject, how’re you doing Adam?”
“Alright I guess. Tommy and I got online last night and ordered a body pillow. Babies are getting stronger with the kicking. I’ve peed more in the last two days than I ever have in my life since one of them seems to be using my bladder as a bed. Or maybe I should say I’ve gone to pee because half the time now when I get the urge to go, when I get there it’s just a dribble.”
“Yeah, don’t be surprised if you have some incontinence in the coming months. A lot of women tend to leak a little bit as the strain on their bodies increases.”
“Oh good, another thing to look forward to.”
“You know I told you about my sex drive dwindling, fewer erections…”
“It’s been getting worse.”
David made a humming noise. “I’m fairly positive everything should right itself once you give birth. But since you’re progressing like a woman I’d say that breastfeeding could hinder you returning to normal. However, on the bright side, if you are able to breastfeed it will help you lose the baby weight quicker. I just don’t know for sure. Keep in mind though, that just because you’re not getting erections doesn’t mean that you can’t have an orgasm if stimulated. Young boys who masturbate can orgasm, but don’t ejaculate.”
Tommy squirmed in his seat beside Adam, his face going a beautiful shade of pink. “Tommy, for someone as bold as you tend to be I will never understand why talking about sex with my doctor embarrasses you.”
“It’s just, I guess it’s like having the sex talk with your mom… it’s just… yeah,” Tommy groaned and wrinkled his nose.
“Anyway, thanks David. I guess I hadn’t thought of that. I just hope everything returns to normal.”
“No problem, now if you will excuse me I’m going to load the dishwasher and head to bed. It’s been a long day.”
Adam and Tommy retired to the living room. As much as Adam wanted to head upstairs, he needed something to take his mind off David’s case. He flopped onto the couch and Tommy piled up right beside him. Adam flicked on the TV and the DVD player and they settled in as the DVD started. Adam had the urge to re-watch True Blood and Tommy couldn’t deny he enjoyed it. For the next hour they watched Sookie battle to save Bill with their hands linked on Adam’s bump.
When it was over the mood had definitely shifted to something distinctly personal. The TV was flicked off and they headed to their room. Adam had made a nightly ritual of doing the exercises David taught him and tonight was no different. While Tommy undressed Adam got on all fours at the foot of the bed. After several repetitions the muscles in and around his belly burned and when he was finished there was sweat dripping off his nose. He rose up and carefully made it to his feet to shed his clothes. He left the bra hoping that the support might help him to sleep. By the time he was finished Tommy lay on the bed without a stitch of clothing. He was on his side, head propped in his hand, and one leg bent to conceal his cock.
“Hiding something?” Adam quirked a brow and did his best to slink up the bed.
Tommy’s giggle confirmed his slinking looked more like wobbling.
“You try a sexy crawl when you’re carrying this around.” Adam indicated his belly when he finally managed to recline into the pillows.
“Excuses excuses Lambert,” Tommy chuckled and rolled onto his back.
Adam felt a thrill go up his spine at the sight of Tommy’s hard cock, but his own was still abnormally dormant. That was okay though because right now he needed to breathe Tommy in. He rolled to his side and scooted close enough that he could lay his head on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy made a soft sound of approval and then wrapped his fingers around his length. Adam observed the way Tommy’s foreskin moved with Tommy’s hand and it never ceased to make his mouth water when precome pooled at the slit. Adam nosed into Tommy’s neck, sniffing him. Tommy’s arousal curled into his lungs, as did the smell of shampoo and an undercurrent of sweat. He basked in it and watched Tommy’s hand on his cock. It was better than any porn he’d ever seen, the way Tommy’s hips twitched and the desperate sounds escaping from those parted lips. He couldn’t resist the temptation to seal their lips together in a bruising kiss. The air between them only heated when tongues clashed. Tommy turned into Adam and now he could feel Tommy’s hand brush against his bump as Tommy stroked himself. It was so fucking hot that Adam felt a flush creeping over his skin and his cock gave a half-hearted twitch. He gripped Tommy’s hair and tugged him back so he could nip his neck. Tommy gave a high-pitched little whine and when Adam sunk his teeth into the skin of Tommy’s collarbone Tommy’s come splashed between them.
“So pretty,” Adam sighed into Tommy’s neck.
Tommy just shivered and went limp.
“Beautiful,” Adam breathed against his cheek and kissed his eyelids, then his nose, and finally those gorgeous lips.
“Mmmph,” Tommy murmured into Adam’s mouth.
Adam finally pulled away and settled into the pillows. There was come drying on his belly but most of it was on their sheets and Tommy’s chest. “Hold that thought love, since you’re pretty much jelly right now I’ll be nice and go get a washcloth.”
Adam made quick work of cleaning himself up and brought the washcloth back to the bed and wiped Tommy up. He tossed it toward the bathroom and when he turned back around Tommy was finally moving. Adam laughed, watching Tommy find his feet and fling their comforter from the bed. “Nice and clean, see? Too hot to sleep under that fucking thing anyway.”
“Yeah it’s just there to look nice when we’re not sleeping. I’ll toss it into the washer tomorrow and hope for the best.” Adam crawled back onto the bed.
“Mmm, yeah, I think the bed looks so much better like this. Just you looking all rumpled and sexy.”
Adam honest to goodness blushed. “I’m a guy in a bra.”
“You’re my guy, gorgeous as I’ve ever seen him.” Tommy’s eyes sparkled with mischief. Adam knew that look and wasn’t a bit surprised when Tommy straddled him. The impish grin Tommy gave him spelled trouble and before Adam knew it Tommy had taken possession of his wrists and had them pinned above his head. Tommy kissed him, explored every crevice of his mouth and when Tommy pulled away he was breathless. “So hot.”
“You gonna let me go now?”
“Yeah,” said Tommy and released his hold on Adam’s wrists, “but that doesn’t mean I’m finished with you.”
Adam laughed. He knew Tommy had been listening intently when David mentioned that Adam could probably still orgasm. It may have embarrassed the hell out of Tommy, but it definitely didn’t mean he wouldn’t try it. “You planning on something?”
“You could say that.”
“And shouldn’t you clue me in?”
“Nah, you’ll enjoy it, just shut your eyes and let me work my magic.”
Adam complied even though every part of him wanted to watch Tommy. With his eyes closed his other senses became more focused on the things around him. The sound of Tommy’s breathing turned up a notch, the sensation of Tommy’s hair brushing along his skin made him tingle, and he found himself holding his breath in anticipation of what was to come. The breath came out as a groan when he felt Tommy’s fingers on his cock. It was the beginning of something he’d never experienced before. Tommy played with Adam’s cock, knew his way around it, and knew what got Adam off. But this was different and for a minute Adam was too overwhelmed with the sensations to define why. Then it hit him. Tommy was flicking his fingers across Adam’s dick the same way he would’ve played guitar. Each pass brought multiple waves of pleasure as callused fingers curled into blunt nails. With his eyes shut he was so focused on that hand that when the wet heat of Tommy’s mouth replaced it, Adam fisted the bed sheets to ground himself. His world was spinning in multi-colored bursts of heat and fire behind his eyelids. Each lash of Tommy’s tongue brought him closer, he could feel it, so different from the way it normally felt, but he knew it was coming. And when it did his whole body tightened and he thrust toward Tommy’s mouth, screaming his name like a prayer to the universe.
After several minutes Adam opened his eyes to see Tommy licking his lips thoughtfully. “Your come is different, the texture, like it was just a couple of shots of precome.”
“S’kinda weird, it felt different. Not being hard, it was more focused on my dick. Normally it’s like it’s building in my spine, but this… so different. I… maybe this is what we’re regulated to until the babies come.”
“And if it is so be it. We have toys, fingers, hands, and mouths. I think we’ll be just fine.”
“Yeah,” sighed Adam into Tommy’s hair. Distantly he felt Tommy pull away and the sound of the lamp being turned off met his ears. Then Tommy’s warm body was there with a comforting hand on his belly.
A familiar tightening began in his abdomen just when sleep was so close he could taste it. He concentrated on his breathing and felt Tommy’s fingers pressing into the hard underside of his bump. Tommy made gentle shushing noises and when the muscles relaxed sleep finally took him under.
That would be the way of it for a while. Poor Adam’s body was just overwhelmed by the warring hormones. The Fates couldn’t do a thing for him without harming the careful balance it took to support the pregnancy. Adam though, he was really a trooper. He was finally gaining weight at a rate that pleased David and he took each new development in stride. That’s not to say that some weren’t a little more overwhelming than others.
I felt for Adam, really I did. Especially the day he sneezed and his underwear suffered the consequences. His poor urinary tract was even less equipped to deal with the whole pregnancy situation than a woman’s was.
Some days turned out to be more interesting than others. That, my friends, is why your peeks into his life never feature mundane normal days. Sure they outnumber the abnormal, but what fun is it watching Adam walk along a beach flailing over a seashell he stepped on… okay so maybe that was funny, but to spare Adam humiliation you don’t get the full lowdown on that one.
Your next tidbit to snack on comes just a few days after Adam reached thirty weeks. Poor guy, you all are just gonna love this one.
“I’m fucking leaking,” Adam squawked.
Tommy rushed outside. “You’re what?”
“I was gonna take a shower after swimming, but I didn’t want to track water all through the house. I was toweling off and…” he flushed and looked away from Tommy, “when I was toweling my chest… it’s… I dunno they tingle sometimes when I get out of the water and the air is cold when it first hits my skin ya know? So yeah… I was toweling off and noticed that weird tingly feeling so I was massaging them to try and get it to go away… and…”
“And?” Tommy encouraged.
“Fucking hell, I never thought I would ever say this. My breasts are leaking,” Adam whined.
Adam swore he could see Tommy’s ears perk up. “I wanna see.”
Adam’s intention to shower was a distant memory after the next several hours were spent with Tommy massaging every inch of his body. Extra time was spent on his chest. Adam couldn’t find a reason to argue with Tommy’s avid fascination with his breasts, not when he was more relaxed than he’d been in ages.
At Adam’s thirty-four week appointment with David I was pleased to see Adam had gained about thirty pounds during the pregnancy. Poor Adam’s eyes bugged out when David told him he could probably gain another ten pounds presuming he made it to his due date. I think Adam was beginning to wonder how in the hell he would be able to maneuver if he got any bigger. As it was Adam ran into doorframes on occasion and bending over was no longer an option. The whole ‘tip me over and pour me out’ adage is pretty true when your body’s main source of weight is in your midsection. Women were equipped to deal with the extra weight. Their hips were made to bare the strain, but with Adam, yeah his hips had widened, but it just wasn’t enough to compensate. Adam gave up on putting on shoes and spent most of his time barefoot. If necessary he had flip-flops that he could slide into.
Tommy loved Adam’s ever-changing body though. Throughout the pregnancy Tommy had been waiting for just the right time to capture Adam’s beauty. When I saw the adoring look Tommy gave Adam as he slept one morning, I knew what would happen. And now my friends, you get to witness what a softie Tommy really is.
It was the first Thursday in August and Adam was still consumed by sleep and dreams. He’d had a terrible time falling asleep the previous night because the babies deemed it a fitting time to have a twin dance party. When he’d finally curled up around his body pillow the clock had flashed three in the morning.
Adam’s dreams were swirls of colors and then melted into an ocean of blue. He was swimming in cool waters as schools of fish swam around him. A seahorse hovered just in front of him and he vaguely remembered that the males of the species gave birth. Somewhere in the distance a light passed over the water in intervals. A lighthouse, Adam thought to himself, but no that wouldn’t make sense with the sun still blaring somewhere near the horizon. As his mind wrestled with the thought he breached the water’s surface, but the sound of water lapping at his skin quickly melted into the whir of an air conditioner. The ocean slipped away and he opened his eyes.
“Don’t move baby.” Tommy’s voice was soft and Adam stilled.
The need to stretch and work out the kinks in his body was tempting, but he trusted Tommy. He lay quietly and a flash illuminated the dimly lit room. Suddenly the lighthouse of his dreams had an explanation. He smiled, shut his eyes, and relaxed into the pillows while Tommy worked. Tommy had mentioned previously that he wanted pictures of Adam to show the babies someday, but this wasn’t exactly how Adam had imagined it. He was still curled around the body pillow, his body completely bared since he’d kicked the sheet off sometime during the night.
“Okay, now I want to get some of us together. You can go ahead and stretch and go to the bathroom before we start those.”
Adam’s bladder twinged, and yeah, that was definitely first thing on the list. He got up and waddled to the bathroom. After peeing and washing his hands he returned to the bedroom where Tommy was situating a black comforter on the bed. When Tommy was finished Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy.
“Is that really necessary?”
“It will look beautiful against your skin.”
“You mean it will highlight all these stretch-marks marring my already freckly belly.”
“Shush, if it means that much to you I’ll do a set and airbrush out the stretch-marks.”
“Alright, I can do that, now take your gorgeous self over to the bed and get comfortable in the pillows.” Adam did as directed and Tommy joined him soon after, holding a swath of crimson fabric. The fabric was draped over their midsections. Tommy also had a button in hand so he could take the pictures without using a timer. Adam had a sneaking suspicion that his dear friend Lee had something to do with this little setup. They took several shots with their hands laced together on Adam’s stomach, Tommy’s head on his chest. The last one was of Tommy beside him kissing his belly, Adam’s fingers in Tommy’s hair. Adam had a feeling that would probably be his favorite.
“So how long have you been planning this?” Adam asked when Tommy got up to check the pictures on the display.
“A while, I asked Lee to recommend a good camera that had a button to take photos so I could do these. I know maternity photos are really something women treasure and… well I know you’re not a woman, but it’s still something I wanted to have a record of.”
“Yeah, I… I don’t want to go through this again, but I don’t want to forget how I look now either.”
Tommy smiled and came over, camera in hand. “Got some beautiful shots even before you woke up. Played with the focus, zoom, and coloring for these. I think some of these deserve to be framed and hung up at home.”
“How exactly would we explain that to guests?”
“Okay so we hang a couple in our room. It’s the one place in the house that is just ours.”
“Sounds good. Is your guitar still downstairs?”
“After breakfast you wanna have a private little concert? Woke up in a good mood and I feel like singing. Goodness knows I need to sing some of the songs from the new album. Once the album comes out I’ll need to at least be able to remember all the lyrics for the single.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Seal it with a kiss?” Adam gave Tommy a cheeky grin.
“Anytime,” Tommy replied and kissed Adam soft and sweet.
At Adam’s thirty-six week appointment it was agreed upon that David would take leave from work. I was a little surprised that they’d put off this long since the average twin pregnancy lasts thirty-five weeks. What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? So what, I’m invested in their lives and those of their babies, so I did a little research, is that so wrong?
Now anyway, back to my point. David was going to take leave from work and for this particular appointment, David had a surprise for them.
Adam’s favorite shrieker Dani had driven all the way to Dana Point to do an ultrasound. It would be used to determine how big the babies were, the sexes, and positions, as well as other measurements to determine the health of the babies.
It was exciting, but when Dani came in I didn’t really expect her to fall to pieces AGAIN, but of course she did.
Adam had already been through his normal appointment by the time the buzzer indicated they had a guest waiting.
“That’s for me.” David got up from his perch on the coffee table and hit the button for the gate.
About ten minutes later the doorbell sounded and David was off to answer it, leaving Adam perplexed as to what he was up to. Adam heard something rolling up the hall and then David and Dani entered the living room. Adam smiled and carefully made his way to his feet.
“ADAM, OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU!” Dani’s voice was a lot shriller than Adam remembered.
“Inside voice,” David reminded Dani when Adam visibly tensed.
“Sorry.” Dani ducked her head and came closer to the couch with a small carry-on size suitcase on wheels in tow.
“Quite alright, I know I must be quite the shock.”
“You look amazing. And to think I’m the only fan who will ever know the truth… it just… hey… next tour I want concert tickets for this,” she giggled and her eyes glittered with mischief.
“I think I’ll owe you one after this,” Adam replied.
“Especially since I am the most cunning ultrasound tech you’ll ever meet. I checked out this portable ultrasound from my hospital and brought it to David’s clinic. Apparently theirs is broken and they needed one this morning. Anyway, then I called the hospital and told them I had something come up and had to go out of town and I’d return the ultrasound when I got in later this evening. They weren’t happy about it.”
“Thank you,” Tommy finally piped up from his place on the couch.
“Anything for my two favorite rock stars.”
“Excuse me,” said Adam and headed for the bathroom. He couldn’t handle the thought of her prodding his belly when he had to pee.
When he walked out David was sitting in the chair, Dani’s butt was on the coffee table along with the portable ultrasound machine, which looked like a high-tech laptop, and Tommy was on the couch.
“That’s only the beginning.” Tommy laughed at Dani; her nose was wrinkled in disgust.
“What’s only the beginning?”
“Was just telling Dani about your midnight snack.”
“Oh yeah, pickles dipped in mayo, who knew that could be tasty?”
“Tasty to you,” muttered David.
“No worse than the French Silk ice cream with guacamole,” added Tommy. “They aren’t on my snack list.”
“At least he’s not craving tar or chalk,” Dani chimed in.
“Thank heavens for small miracles since there’s no telling him no.”
Adam huffed at David’s words but David just turned to him and motioned toward the couch.
With a hand from Tommy Adam eased himself down on the couch.
“Before you lay down you might as well take the shirt off,” Dani directed.
Tommy dutifully helped him pull the shirt over his head leaving him in his yoga pants and the sports bra. He wasn’t sure how much longer this thing was going to fit comfortably. With each day his chest felt heavier. He’d taken to putting folded pieces of toilet paper over his nipples on the off chance he leaked. It wasn’t often, but after the first time of having small wet circles on the bra he didn’t want a take two. David had suggested nursing pads and had even gone as far as bringing home a box, but Adam just wasn’t ready to emasculate himself any further. He shook away the thoughts and lay down on the couch with his head in Tommy’s lap.
“Before we start do you have any questions?” asked Dani.
Tommy spoke first. “I… I was kinda wondering if you could give us a estimation of what day Adam got pregnant.” Tommy had been curious what night it had happened.
“I can give you about a five day window. Anything else?”
“Can you possibly determine if I have a birth canal?” asked Adam. I uhh… I’ve dreamt of birthing them…”
“I would laugh at that, but I never expected to find a uterus, let alone babies. I can take a look, and depending on the babies positions I might get a view.”
“Thanks,” Adam sighed.
“You’re going to check the weight of the babies, aren’t you?” David asked.
“Yep,” said Dani, “and if the little cuties cooperate I might be able to tell you the sexes, if you want to know.”
“No need, Adam and I are confident we already know.”
“Well Tommy, last time I looked they weren’t in a good position to tell, so what do you guys think and I’ll confirm it?”
“A boy and a girl,” Adam said, smiling.
“Alright then, lets get a look at these babies.”
The room fell silent and Adam winced when Dani squirted the gel onto his belly. He was pretty sure he would never get used to that. Dani hummed quietly and pecked something into the machine. Adam focused intently on the screen when Dani put the wand to his skin.
“Well,” she said after a couple of minutes of moving the wand and typing things into the machine, “I would venture to guess you probably got pregnant between December 11th and December 16th. Personal opinion I’d say closer to the sixteenth.”
“Oh,” whispered Adam. He knew he and Tommy had unprotected sex at least twice during that time.
“Yeah,” replied Tommy and reached to give Adam’s hand a squeeze.
“Alright, you have one baby laid on this side of your belly and the other baby is on this side. They almost look like parentheses. The baby on your left is a girl, and she’s head down. The baby on your right is a boy and he’s still head up. Baby girl is measuring about five pounds and baby boy is a little bit over. You’ve got about four weeks until your due date so if you make it until then they should probably be about seven pounds.”
“I’ve already gained thirty-five pounds,” Adam moaned dramatically.
“Adam, a lot of that is placenta, babies, fluid, and breast considering you were flat-chested before,” David explained for the millionth time.
“I know, I know, it’s just hard.”
“The let me make it a little easier,” Dani giggled and turned a button on the machine.
The swish-swish of dueling heartbeats filled the room and Adam melted. Every pound was worth that sound.
“I put in a DVD before we started. The next few minutes I’m just gonna look around in there and record it for you.”
“Okay, and about the birth canal?” Tommy reminded.
Dani moved the wand across his skin and wordlessly Adam prayed to the universe that she could confirm what the dreams had been telling him. Several minutes passed in silence; Adam watched the picture on the screen change from a face, to a spine, and finally tiny toes. The same progression again with the other baby with more time spent on his little face. His little fist was near his mouth and Adam was pretty sure his heart was going to explode with joy. Adam’s attention was drawn away from the screen when a tear hit the side of his face. He looked up at Tommy whose face was tracked with tears and more pooling in the corners of his eyes.
“Hey, kinda crazy isn’t it.”
“Yeah.” Tommy wiped at his eyes. “I figured you’d be crying too.”
“Too overwhelmed with it to cry.”
“Those are our babies. Mine and yours Adam, can you believe it?”
“I guess it’s a little easier for me to wrap my head around it since I get to feel them squirm and shift inside of me.”
“I’ll get to hold them soon.”
“Soon,” Adam echoed.
When Adam turned back he noticed Dani wiping at her eyes. “Can’t help it, you two have everything I ever dreamed of. From the moment I saw you guys on tour kissing like you shared the same soul I always wanted to find someone who’d kiss me like that.”
“Fuck,” Tommy groaned. “It wasn’t like that in the beginning, it really wasn’t.”
“Maybe not, but even if it was friendship then I could still see the love in Adam’s eyes reflected in yours.”
“The perfect man for you is out there somewhere.”
Dani’s laughter was unexpected. “Woman,” she corrected.
“Oh,” Adam and Tommy both said in unison.
“Why do you think I hadn’t hit on Tommy yet? He’s pretty, but he’s got that one extra thing.”
“So what you’re saying is you’d do me if I was a chick? I’ll take that.”
“Alright now.” Dani calmed her giggles and turned her attention to the machine. “You have a DVD since I’m done recording and I even managed to get a couple of good shots of them that I’ll print out.” She hit a button and a printer Adam hadn’t noticed came to life on the floor by her feet. She opened the DVD drive and sat the DVD on the coffee table, and then added the scans when the printer finished. “You’ll want to date the DVD and the scans and be sure to label it was as thirty-six weeks. Now one more look to check for a birth canal.”
Dani scanned down his belly and when she stopped he couldn’t make out anything on the screen. She pressed in and Adam whined, his bladder throbbing. “Sorry, sorry, believe it or not a little fluid in your bladder goes a long way to making it easier to see this.” She shifted the wand slightly.
“Well I’ll be damned, excuse my French, but looks like whatever gave you that uterus also gave those babies a way out.”
“Well it’s nice to have that confirmation before he goes into labor,” said David. “Now I don’t have to worry about explaining to Hayworth why the person he’s performing a C-section on has a penis.” He sounded relieved.
“I’d imagine that would’ve been fun. Anyway, here go ahead and clean up and go to the bathroom,” Dani said and handed Adam a towel from her bag.
It was the last day of August and with Adam at twenty-eight weeks and six days, the poor guy was verging into miserable territory. And when Adam wasn’t happy no one was. I could see how much discomfort he was in with the frequency of Braxton Hicks increasing, and the strain that his belly was putting on his back made sleeping a near impossibility no matter what position he was in.
Seeing the way the pregnancy changed Adam was intriguing for me though. I know Adam had issues with how feminine he looked, but honestly he was beautiful. By this point his hair was falling over his shoulders and every inch was so black it was almost blue in the right light. It was one of the few things Adam had insisted upon keeping up during his pregnancy. I couldn’t understand why his natural color was so bad, but since he couldn’t go out to get a haircut, the hair dying was a must. I found it curious that hair color had been his main staple; he’d given up a little over halfway through the pregnancy on meticulously applying foundation to cover his freckles. And the only other thing from the glam Adam days that he clung to was the eyeliner. It wasn’t an everyday thing, but on random days Adam would look in the mirror and the next thing I knew he had an eyeliner pencil in hand. Heavy dark liner was smudged to perfection, and given the roundness of his face and the length of his hair, the visual effect was stunning. His eyes popped, and those were normally the days Tommy had ended up cock in hand in bed with Adam.
Alas, I’m getting off track here. My entire point was to say that Adam had done a lot of changing, and now he was very uncomfortable and antsy. Each night when Tommy lay sleeping Adam would slip away and retreat to the pool. The water was the one place that soothed away the aches and he would spend hours just floating in the dark watching the stars.
Tommy and David could see the toll the pregnancy was having on Adam. Tommy, who was getting rather scruffy, woke up that morning alone. The sun wasn’t up yet, but when he found the other side of the bed cold he hightailed it to look for Adam. David on the other hand, had been plotting a way to hopefully brighten Adam’s spirits. With all that said, back to the story at hand.
Adam muddled over a million things, the weightlessness of his body allowing his mind freedom to roam. Adam knew that when everything came out about him and Tommy and the twins, his dad would be hurt, along with others. He felt guilty about the many phone calls from family and friends that wanted to get together. He kept putting them off with excuses, the main one being that he was taking an extended vacation and wasn’t in town. He didn’t know exactly how he was going to explain everything to them, let alone the fans and paparazzi, once they arrived home. It all made his head hurt.
“Adam,” Tommy called, pulling him from his thoughts.
Adam had made it a point to leave the sliding door open so Tommy would know where to find him.
“Morning baby, sleep well?” asked Adam.
“Yeah, would’ve slept better if you’d been beside me. You need the rest. I can see how tired you are and without the makeup those dark circles are really making an appearance.”
“I just… it’s like my body can’t settle. It’s not even the babies anymore. They’ve nearly run out of room so all that kicking has been muted a little. I dunno, it just feels like there’s an undercurrent just itching underneath my skin.”
“I wish I could help, I feel useless.”
Adam sighed and floated over to the steps. He stood, his knees none to happy about the weight, but he needed to be closer to Tommy. He dripped along the concrete and pulled Tommy into a hug. “You’re not useless. I know you’ll be there when I need you.”
“Always,” whispered Tommy.
The sun crept over the horizon as they embraced, highlighting the world around them in soft orange. The moment was peaceful and it wasn’t until many minutes later Adam that finally disengaged. “Gonna grab a shower… sorry, looks like you’ll need to let your sleep pants dry.” Adam grinned, grabbed the towel he’d left by the pool and wrapped it around his waist. He’d shower then join David and Tommy for breakfast just as he had for the past couple of weeks.
After he showered and dressed Adam joined Tommy at the kitchen table. David hummed to himself while hovering at the stove. Adam wasn’t even sure what David was cooking up this time. He couldn’t make out what was in the pan. He quirked a brow at Tommy.
“Southwestern omelets,” Tommy supplied. “You want OJ or milk?”
“Ooo tasty. OJ please,” Adam said with a grin.
“Coming right up.” Tommy got up from the table and grabbed three glasses from the cabinet. “David?”
“Milk,” David replied cheerfully.
It wasn’t long before David plunked three plates down on the table along with a bottle of ketchup. Adam groaned. The omelet was nice, but the hash browns cuddled up beside them made him happy. They needed something though and ketchup definitely wasn’t it. In fact, he frowned when Tommy coated his omelet and hash browns with the stuff. Adam got up from the table and made his way to the fridge. He returned with a bottle of faintly pink stuff and doused his plate with it. It was Tommy’s turn to frown. “Shrimp sauce,” Adam said, grinning, and dug his fork into the thoroughly coated shredded potatoes.
The rest of breakfast was spent chattering. David reminded him he’d be thirty-nine weeks tomorrow. Adam couldn’t believe how fast it had gone. Tommy and David cleaned up once they were finished and Adam sat rubbing his belly.
“Adam, got a surprise for you, if you’re up for it.”
“As long as it doesn’t involve moving anywhere quickly I’m probably good.”
“Well I told you my mom was a midwife. Since she’s not actively practicing anymore she’s started up her own little business. She comes in and does belly casts, takes the hardened product and sands it until it’s smooth, seals it, and paints it for couples. Since she can’t really come here to cast your belly I got her to ship me the supplies. After it’s set I’ll sand it and seal it for you. I’m no good with painting, but I presume once the story comes out that you’ve had twins by a surrogate you could tell one of your artsy friends that it’s the surrogate’s belly cast. Let them paint it for you and then you’ll have an art piece you can display at home but guests won’t link it to you having been pregnant.” Adam gave David a funny look. “Tommy told me about the pictures. Not really something you can display anywhere, and as an added bonuses it’s a 3D representation of your pregnancy that you’ll be able to share with the twins once they’re older,” explained David.
Adam knew that having this done would be something he wouldn’t regret. The pregnancy hadn’t been easy, but the product would be worth it. Capturing his form now would be something he could look back at, proof of how he really looked because he knew as time went by that the memory would fade. The babies kicking, his palm resting on his stomach…it would all be a faraway dream. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What do you think, baby?”
“I think I always want to remember your body like this, so a 3D representation would be fucking awesome,” Tommy giggled.
“Alright, guess that settles it. David, what exactly does all this entail?”
Adam wished he’d known when they’d started exactly how this would feel. David had advised that it would take at least thirty-minutes so he should probably pee first, and he had, but fifteen minutes into it he was very uncomfortable. They’d covered his belly and breasts with something David had said would keep the strips from sticking to his skin. Then Tommy, per David’s directions, had put a sheet of plastic over the chair in the living room and once Adam was seated, Tommy placed a piece of plastic wrap over Adam’s lap in order to protect his swim trunks. Finally David had started wetting white strips in a basin full of warm water he’d placed on the coffee table. The first layer was down. David had used one of the strips and cut it into three small squares. He’d used those to accentuate Adam’s popped bellybutton and each nipple. At this point into it David was wetting and laying strips every which way, adding to the layers. He explained to Adam that the more layers, the more strength the piece would have. Nearly forty minutes passed before David stepped away.
“Sorry, I forgot mom’s thirty minute estimate probably meant in a singleton pregnancy. You have a little more surface area to cover with you carrying twins not to mention your height.”
“It’s okay,” Adam muttered.
“Now we wait until it dries enough so that it will separate from your skin.”
David was lucky he decided to do the belly casting when he did. Thirty-nine turned out to be the magic number. Adam actually slept more the night of the casting than he had in days, but the next morning he got up just before sunrise and vomited for the third time that week. I saw it for what it was, but Adam wasn’t catching on. Instead he pulled his hair into a ponytail and crawled back into bed.
Adam’s body was cleaning itself out for the labor. Adam being Adam just presumed that something he’d eaten wasn’t agreeing with him. I was pretty sure that he was in early labor, but even I couldn’t have predicted everything Adam would go through until the twins arrival.
The date was September 1, 2011. It was a day that would forever change Adam and Tommy’s lives. Today they would welcome their baby girl into the world, but I’m getting a little ahead of the story. For now let’s go back to Adam’s bed and see the birth of a new day.
Adam was awake; all thoughts of sleep were distant. He lay on his side and watched Tommy. The room was still dark, but his eyes were adjusted and he could make out the line of Tommy’s face. In the past months he’d seen that face rich with so many emotions. Adam was more conscious of each flicker in Tommy’s eyes than he’d ever been before. He supposed this many months spending almost everyday together was the reason. Now he could recognize pain and sorrow with just a tiny shift in Tommy’s eyebrows. Thankfully he was seeing that less and less. Tommy had taken to writing in a journal and Adam knew it was helping Tommy to work through his grief. He was thankful that Tommy, even while working through all these built up issues, had stood by him.
The sun inched over the horizon; her rays peaked in the window and highlighted Tommy’s cheekbones for Adam to admire. The room turned into a land of gold and an array of oranges. Tommy’s fringe was tucked in behind his ear, and the light transformed the length of it into spun corn silk. The moment was brief, but in that instant Adam saw Tommy as a tiny little Fae with red tattered wings. The conversation with David about LA and people who were broken briefly flitted across his mind. Tommy was broken in his own way, but Adam couldn’t love him any less. This was a man who had come into his life like a ray of sunshine when the world was bland and had turned his world upside down. No, he wouldn’t change a thing about Tommy. Tommy had given him a gift.
The sun climbed higher, the colors in the room shifted and the Fae disappeared, leaving behind the man Adam loved. He reached out and brushed his thumb across Tommy’s cheek. The short hairs beneath his thumb were softer than he’d imagined. He still wasn’t quite used to the feel of it, but he’d always loved this look on Tommy.
“Mmm mornin’,” Tommy said with a smile.
“Morning baby,” replied Adam.
Tommy nuzzled closer and Adam brushed a hand across Tommy’s cheek. He was waiting for Tommy to open his eyes, waiting to see what lay there this morning. Adam scratched through the scruff like he would’ve with a cat and Tommy’s eyes fluttered open in surprise.
“M’not a cat,” Tommy laughed and swatted Adam’s hand away.
“No, but you’re my pretty kitty.” Adam brought out the term he’d used many times during the tour. Adam had been certain at the time that Tommy was a cat in a past life.
Tommy wrinkled his nose up and hissed.
“You know it,” Tommy smirked.
“How long have you been up? You get any sleep?”
“Woke up just before sun up, was just laying here watching you sleep.”
“Can’t help it.”
Tommy sat up in the bed and ran a hand through his hair. His fringe fell loose and settled at his chin. Tommy had been out to get his hair cut and colored several times since they’d been at Dana Point, but he’d left his bangs to grow. He’d explained to Adam that he wanted a reminder of the time passing there and looking in the mirror at how long his hair had grown was his way of showing it on his body. He could look at Adam anytime and tell time was passing by the growth of Adam’s belly and hair, but he’d wanted something for himself. Adam thought he was nuts, but adorable anyway.
“Yeah, you actually slept more than usual?”
“Strangely enough, I think yesterdays round with the casting wore me out even though I was just sitting there. Showering all that stuff off afterward took a lot more energy than I had to spare. I think I was running on empty from the lack of sleep.”
“Sounds about right. Stomach still upset?”
“Woke up to puke.”
“Yeah… I always forget how much I hate puking until I actually have to.”
“S’why I try to avoid hangovers like the plague. You talked to David about it yet?”
“Other than that how’re you doing?” Tommy asked and reached to rub Adam’s belly.
“Same old. Braxton Hicks are the plague, my toes are so swollen they feel like tiny sausages, and I have to fucking piss every time I turn around.”
“Yeah, sounds the norm,” replied Tommy.
Adam, curious as to what Tommy was up to, watched Tommy scoot down the bed. He stopped at Adam’s feet. “Don’t look like sausages to me.”
Adam chuckled, not expecting that one. It quickly turned into a groan as Tommy worked his thumbs into the soles of Adam’s feet. He relaxed to the point where he was drifting off before he even realized it.
The next time Adam became conscious Tommy was whispering softly in his ear. When Adam opened his eyes Tommy was there, smiling and carding his fingers through Adam’s hair. “Brought you some breakfast.”
“Didn’t have to,” mumbled Adam.
“Wanted to, now here, raise up a little.”
Adam scooted up until he was mostly upright supported by a mound of pillows. Tommy reached over to the nightstand and retrieved the tray. Adam smiled. Tommy had made him toast and sat the honey bear beside the plate along with a glass of water.
“Might settle your stomach a little.”
“Feels fine right now, but best to eat something light.”
“Go on and eat, I’m gonna go downstairs and finish cleaning up.”
“Thanks for breakfast, love you.” Adam grinned and squeezed Tommy’s hand. He was pleased when Tommy leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips before getting up and walking out.
Adam took a bite of honey-coated toast and savored the sweetness on his tongue. He didn’t think food had tasted any better than it had while he was pregnant. He happily munched the rest of his breakfast and finished his water, then set the tray on his nightstand. He rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Peeing standing up was no longer an option, so he sat. Once he finished he washed his hands and brushed his teeth. Just as he reached to turn off the water he felt it.
This contraction started in Adam’s back and wrapped around his front. He concentrated on breathing through it, hands clutched on the sink. When it was over he relaxed and dug his fingers into his back.
Adam wondered for a minute if he might be in labor, but shrugged it off. Without another thought he waddled downstairs and found Tommy in the living room with a mop.
“What an unusual sight,” Adam observed.
Tommy startled, flipped him off with a grin, and then returned to his work. It didn’t take long for Tommy to finish. Adam watched Tommy collect the bucket and tote everything into the bathroom. He returned a few minutes later and kissed Adam soundly. “What do you feel up to today, baby? Wanna watch a movie, maybe take a walk on the beach, or you wanna swim?”
“Such a difficult choice. Thinking you better grab the sunscreen. I normally don’t swim until the sun’s low on the horizon.”
“Swimming it is,” giggled Tommy and dashed upstairs. When he came back down he was holding the spray sunscreen.
“Didn’t grab my trunks?”
“I think poor David has heard and seen it all by now. I don’t think he’ll mind if we skinny dip.”
“Lose the pants and assume the position, my porcelain skinned prince.”
“Hah, not quite. I look like someone took a canvas and threw little drops of paint at it all in the same orange and brown hues. Oh except for these lovely rosy stretch marks. I guess the painter had a sense of humor.” Adam dropped his pants, spread his legs shoulder width apart, and raised his arms.
Tommy just shook his head and sprayed Adam down as quickly and efficiently as possible. After Adam had a nice sheen all along his skin Tommy rubbed it in, taking the time to massage Adam’s calves, thighs, ass, lower back, and finally his shoulders. Tommy walked around the other side and ran his hands over Adam’s full breasts and rotund belly, taking extra time to make sure all the sunscreen was worked into the firm skin. Finally he stroked his fingers down one arm and then the other. When Tommy was done Adam made it a point to say thanks. He loved the way Tommy couldn’t resist touching him. It made him feel special, and less like a cow.
“Come on,” Tommy said, grinning, and shucked his shorts.
The day was warm, but the intense heat of the summer had mellowed slightly. Adam couldn’t recollect if it was normal or if they were just having a cool spell, but it didn’t matter because the water was sun warmed and felt amazing on his skin.
“I’m pretty sure you were meant to be a fish.” Tommy’s voice reached Adam at the other side of the pool.
“I’ve always loved the water.”
Adam swam from one side of the pool to the other several times until his shoulders burned with the effort. He finally came to rest near the steps where Tommy had chosen to float. That Tommy actually managed to float was absurd and made him giggle. Tommy looked over to him, eyebrow raised.
“I look like a buoy so it makes sense that I float, but you don’t have an ounce of fat on your body. Can’t wrap my head around it.”
“Not the best swimmer, but floating I can handle.” Adam watched Tommy go from floating on his back to hovering beside him in the water.
Tommy’s fringe was plastered to the side of his face and Adam reached out and tucked it behind his ear. Tommy’s eyes went warm with affection. “What?”
“Just being totally cheesy romantic comedy in my head. Just can’t help thinking how fucking beautiful you are. And you’re kinda perfect because even when I should be taking care of you, you’re still taking care of my heart. And yes I will deny I ever said that.”
“It’s not cheesy. I love you and I promise I’ll totally forget you ever went chick flick on me.”
“Love you, too.”
Adam tensed and drew in a shaky breath. Tommy was right there gripping his arm. Pain seized from his back into his belly and it nearly took his breath away. This was definitely a different experience to the many practice contractions he’d been having. He made a concentrated effort to inhale and exhale slowly until the sensation ebbed to the usual dull ache in his back. “How long have we been out here?”
“I dunno, maybe thirty minutes?”
Adam’s eyes went wide. That would mean the last contraction couldn’t have been more than forty or so minutes before. It’s the first time he could recall having two in an hour.
“Wasn’t the first contraction was it?”
“No, I had one before I came downstairs, but I didn’t think anything of it.”
“You going to be okay if I go grab my watch and let David know something’s up?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Adam felt the fear boiling low in his stomach. “I can do this,” Adam said to himself. “No reason to be afraid, women have been doing this throughout history. It’s not going to be easy, but I can do this.” Adam pushed the fear through his body and went back to swimming. He let all that panic flow into the water. He would be fine, their babies would be fine, and he and Tommy would be parents.
When Tommy walked through the sliding doors he was wearing shorts and David trailed behind him.
“Tommy told me you had two contractions in under and hour?”
“You don’t think they’re Braxton Hicks?”
“No,” replied Adam. He used a grip on the railing and carefully climbed up the steps and out of the water. He was very conscious of the fact he was nude, but David didn’t mention it. Instead David gestured to the lounge chair.
“Describe them for me,” he said as he began to examine Adam’s belly.
“They’re starting more in my back?”
David hummed and continued feeling around Adam’s bump.
“From what I can tell they seem to be in the same positions as they were during your ultrasound. Baby girl is still head down, and like we discussed a couple of weeks ago when you dropped, she’s in position for the birth. The baby boy is still breech. Can’t determine how he’ll present for birth until after his sister’s born. Either way we’re looking at a breech and that can be dangerous. The risk isn’t as high since both babies were measuring about the same size during the ultrasound, so if the baby girl’s head makes it through then his should too. The size of a baby’s head is why c-sections are done for breech babies usually. With twins though, if they’re near the same size, if one can pass then the other should. But here’s what we have to worry about. A breech baby comes out either feet or butt first, right?”
“Well, when he’s delivered up to his belly where the umbilical cord attaches, there’ll be pressure on the cord because it’ll be trapped between him and the wall of your birth canal. That pressure could disrupt the oxygen flow while his head is still inside.”
“So what can I do?” Adam asked with a slight frown.
“The rest of him needs to be delivered as quickly as possible.”
“Okay, anything else?”
“This could be a really long day for you. Time the contractions and when they get about every ten minutes let me know. I’m just in my room working on the belly cast. When they’re ten minutes apart, I’ll check you, which will be a new experience for the both of us. I’m going to presume since you’ve been progressing like women that you will have some form of dilation. When you get fully dilated you can start pushing, until then work on breathing through the contractions.”
“Dilated?” Tommy asked after David went back in the house.
“He’s going to put his finger inside me to see how open I am.”
“Oh.” Tommy’s voice wavered and he went a little pale.
Adam and Tommy retreated back inside and the next several hours were spent timing contractions and flicking through the TV channels. The contractions were coming progressively closer and each one took a little more focus to deal with. Between them Adam found that the sound of the TV became distant as his body forced him into lulls of sleep. Each one interrupted his rest with a familiar tightening and Tommy’s voice soothing in his ear. David had peaked in on them a couple of times to see how things were going, but beyond that it was a very low-key ordeal so far.
It was nearly two in the afternoon when Adam’s contractions hit ten minutes apart and Tommy went upstairs to get David.
Adam had wrapped a sheet around himself when he came back inside. When David came down with Tommy, Adam gathered the sheet and situated himself so that he was lying flat on the couch with his knees bent, feet planted on the arm. Tommy slipped in so Adam could lay his head in Tommy’s lap, and there began the strangest part of Adam’s pregnancy thus far. Nothing better than having unfamiliar fingers inside him. Adam grimaced.
To be fair, David was quick and efficient, although he looked exceptionally confused once he removed his gloved fingers. “Well, you’re about four centimeters dilated, bags bulging, but I’d rather your water break on its own. This is still early labor and since I haven’t heard any screaming I think you’re handling your contractions pretty well. And while I expected dilation I didn’t expect… well for whatever reason… you are also producing lubrication like a female, which is highly unusual.”
“That should make the delivery easier?” Tommy asked.
“I would think so and Adam, I also wouldn’t be surprised if you get an erection during the birth. I know all the hormones have been suppressing your sex drive, but as the babies pass through they’ll be putting pressure on your prostate. Some women actually orgasm during birth due to the pressure the baby puts on their g-spots. I remember seeing it once or twice while attending births with mom once I got older.”
“I hadn’t really thought about that.”
“Most women don’t either. Once you get into active labor you’ll find the contractions lasting a little longer along with coming closer together. Stay hydrated and if you need me you know where I am. I think your labor will progress more quickly with just Tommy here. You can relax with him between contractions and try not to tense up too much during them.”
“I’ll try, but I’m feeling it more in my back.”
“Try getting on your hands and knees during contractions and have Tommy put pressure on your lower back.”
“I also want to quickly check their heart rates. Make sure everyone is still happy.” David grabbed his bag from beside the couch and got out the Doppler.
A quick listen dubbed everyone healthy and David went back upstairs, leaving Adam and Tommy. It wasn’t two minutes later when Adam shucked the sheet and went to the floor on all fours, the next contraction creeping in.
“Please.” Adam’s voice was soft, his head down and he began to pant.
Adam groaned when Tommy pressed a palm into his back. “Good?”
Tommy slid from the couch and onto his knees behind Adam. He overlaid one hand over the other much like he had when they’d learned CPR in high school. He pressed into Adam’s back. Adam sagged, went to his elbows, and spread his legs further apart. “That’s better,” Tommy praised. Adam’s new position gave Tommy a little bit more leverage. “You’re doing so good, baby.”
Adam sighed when his muscles finally loosened up. “S’over, thanks. Really helped.”
“Welcome, can’t believe you’re in labor. Seems like time just flew by.”
“Mmm, I believe it, but I know what you mean. Seems like just yesterday the tour ended and you came home with me.”
“You think that was the night?”
“I don’t… but then again you never know.” Adam sat back on his haunches and turned to face Tommy. “Either way, I’m glad. The crazy events that put us together… I don’t regret them. I’m not gonna say I’m not terrified of how this is going to blow up once people find out we have twins and we’re together, but I’m in this for the long-haul ya know?”
“Me too, I… someday I wanna marry you,” said Tommy.
“I’d like that.”
Tommy used a hand on Adam’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. They made out like teenagers and when the next contraction came, Adam just pulled Tommy closer. Laboring harbored the same primal energy for Adam that sex did and he wanted nothing more than to share it intimately with Tommy.
Adam’s next several contractions were spent wrapped up in Tommy, his tongue searching Tommy’s mouth, tasting. Prickles of arousal ran along his skin and Tommy groped and blindly mapped Adam’s skin with searching fingers. When they finally pulled away Adam had just finished a contraction and Tommy had enough coherency left to note the time. When the next one came, only six minutes had passed. Adam needed to move, his knees ached from the hardwood. With Tommy’s help he stood and squatted, Tommy’s arms under his own for support. There he thrust his hips and he moaned with the surge of pain that swept through him. In those moments he felt more connected to the universe than he ever had before. He was laboring like millions of woman throughout history. It was empowering, the knowledge that everything was as it was meant to be. With it came an unusual pressure. “Tommy, Tommy… something…” he trailed off. A sense of déjà vu hit him then and he knew what was happening. He rocked his hips with the wave of pressure.
Before he could answer he felt a release and his waters gushed onto the floor between Tommy’s feet. The contraction passed and Adam sagged with relief in Tommy’s hold. “Water… ugh gotta get cleaned up. Gotta pee. Gonna go to the bathroom. Would you throw a towel over that?”
“Sure, glad the couch is leather. The splatter spots should wipe right up,” Tommy said with a smile, but Adam saw that he looked a little green around the gills.
Adam hoped to everything that Tommy made it through the birth without fainting. For a man that loved horror and gore he was shocked at how squeamish Tommy seemed so far.
Adam shook that thought from his mind and went to the downstairs bathroom. He climbed in the tub and adjusted the water temperature until a warm stream sprayed over him. He used the bar soap and ran it quickly along his body, removing sunscreen and the remnants of his waters breaking. By the time he rinsed another contraction was on him. He leaned forward, rested his hands on his thighs and let the water beat his back. He cried out when the contraction peaked, his voice reverberating through the room. With his cry came Tommy.
“Hey,” whispered Tommy.
A few seconds later the shower curtain was pulled back to reveal a naked Tommy. He climbed in and pulled Adam’s arms over his shoulders. Adam locked his arms around Tommy’s neck and relaxed, letting Tommy support his weight. Tommy was making soft shushing noises in his ear and together they rocked from side to side until the tightening in his belly dulled.
“Love you,” Adam murmured.
With Tommy’s assistance they managed to turn off the shower and get Adam semi-dried off before the next contraction. Tommy couldn’t say for sure but mentioned to Adam that it was probably time for David to check him again. Adam sat on the side of the tub while Tommy put on his pants and went to fetch David. By the time he heard footsteps on the stairs he was up and at the sink in preparation for the next contraction. It was tingling on the edge of his senses and he hunched over, elbows on the vanity. It had just gotten its grip on Adam’s muscles when Tommy walked in. Somewhere in the distance he heard David say he’d check him once it was over. He pushed the thought away and grunted at the immense pressure in his back. Adam pressed one hand into his back and clawed at the slick marble surface of the vanity with his other as the pain peaked, almost bringing him to his toes. He was breathing hard by the time it was over, but turned and headed for the couch. Tommy sat and pulled Adam’s head into his lap. Adam’s feet were planted on the arm again, knees bent to expose himself to David.
“Getting stronger, you should be about to go through transition. It’ll finish dilating your cervix and it’ll be time to push. It’ll be more intense and your contractions may feel like they’re coming one right on top of the other. If you feel pressure in your bottom or like you need to push, call me,” David explained while he checked Adam.
“Just what I wanted to hear,” Adam moaned.
“Hey, looks like you’re about seven centimeters, cervix is nice and thin, baby’s head is moving down nicely. Shouldn’t be much longer if you keep up like this. We might have a baby by seven.”
Adam glanced at the clock. “So like three hours?”
“Depends on when you’re complete and how good you push. Could be sooner.”
“Least I have something to aim for.”
“Yeah, get Tommy to grab me if you start feeling a lot of pressure or need to push so I can check you.”
“Kay,” Adam whimpered, his back seizing in preparation for the next one already. “Tommy, could you get me some water please?” Tommy slipped away to the kitchen and Adam somehow managed to slide off the couch and onto his knees. He spread his legs wide, rested his elbows on the couch, and sent a wish into the universe that this would be over soon. He concentrated on releasing all the tension in his body while he breathed in and out, slow and steady. It wasn’t easy, but it centered him. When it was over Tommy handed him a large bottle of cold water. Adam sipped at it; the cold sliding down his throat was marvelous. He was hot and tired. His hair, still damp from the shower, was sticking to his face. Without thought he raked his fingers through it and used a ponytail holder from his wrist to pull the length into a sloppy pony. At least this way it was out of his face.
Adam continued to labor for the next hour and a half and soon the contractions seemed to come one after another. He sipped water in the small time between them, but his body felt wrong. With Tommy’s help he managed to make it to the bathroom. The cool tile felt good on his skin and the cold porcelain against his cheek was familiar. With each tightening in his body his stomach rolled and gurgled until he finally vomited. It wasn’t long after the puking stopped that he needed to push.
Adam tensed up and resisted the urge, which was more than difficult. Once the contraction passed he gripped Tommy’s wrist. “I need to push, go get David.”
“Hang on, baby. I’ll be right back.” Tommy kissed his forehead and scurried from the room.
With what little thought he had left, Adam grabbed a few towels from under the sink and laid them out in front of the bathtub. He stood in front of the tub with his back to it and squatted. The side of the tub was higher than most and he was glad for it. The tub supported his back and he hooked his arms over the side for added stability. In a flurry of commotion David and Tommy rushed in.
“Tommy said you needed to push. I need to make sure you’re complete.”
Adam whined, his belly tightened, and he sagged further into the squat. Tommy crouched down beside him. “Adam, that’s it. Breathe for me.”
Adam wrinkled his nose and groaned. He wasn’t pushing, but he could feel the baby moving down anyway. He didn’t think the contraction was ever going to end but when it did David was there with a gloved hand, fingers exploring his opening. “Yeah, you’re complete, baby’s head is already engaged. Next contraction you can push.”
“I want…” Adam was still breathing hard. “Want Tommy to deliver her.”
“I… uhh… can I?” Tommy directed at David.
“Yeah, I’ll walk you through it. First wash your hands and go grab a pair of gloves from my bag.”
Adam was relieved when Tommy quickly followed David’s orders and returned to his side.
“Do you think you would be comfortable changing positions? If you want Tommy to deliver her, it would be much easier with you on your knees leaned over the tub.”
“That, yeah… just feels better squatting.”
“Okay then how about facing the tub in this position and gripping the edge of the tub for support?”
“Yeah… I think I can… yeah…” Adam managed to get his balance and turned to face the tub. He gripped the tub and felt his the tension in his back rolling around to his front. It radiated out and down until he found himself tensing his entire body and bouncing on his toes with discomfort. The urge to push was so strong he could taste it.
“Alright baby, bare down.” Tommy’s voice was in his ear.
Adam took a deep breath and gave into his body’s urges. It felt deliciously good to work with his body and he could feel the baby moving further down. He exhaled and inhaled. Using all his might he pushed the discomfort down, down, down. When the contraction passed Tommy handed him his water and he took a sip.
“So proud of you, birthing our babies.”
“You’re doing really well Adam, don’t lose focus,” David advised.
Through several contractions Adam gave everything he had. Somewhere near the end of the last one he noticed the pain had given way to something erotic. His body tingled with pleasure and for the first time in months he had a firm erection. As his uterus contracted again, he pushed in little bursts. Each time it sent shivers through him and the groans of pain turned into moans. He reached behind him to pull Tommy closer. “I… I’m hard,” he whispered.
“What… I mean…” Tommy whispered back.
“Please,” Adam whimpered and gave a tiny push.
“Can he… uhh… can I… he’s got an erection,” Tommy stuttered over the words.
“I figured that might happen. Baby is putting pressure on Adam’s prostate. It’s okay you can touch him. Take off the gloves. I’ll go get you a fresh pair and give you guys a few minutes alone. Call me when you’re done or when the baby’s head is visible.”
“Okay,” Tommy replied, his attention already fully on Adam.
Adam heard the door shut behind David. The contraction had passed, but his body still thrummed with need. Tommy reached between Adam’s legs and brushed Adam’s cock with his bare hand. “Wow, you’re really hard,” Tommy observed. He gripped Adam and tugged down the thick length. The position was a little awkward but Adam gasped at how amazing it felt. Soon the next contraction was on him and he pushed with it. Tommy’s hand never stopped stroking and as his muscles hugged their babies Adam found himself falling into oblivion. His cries echoed in the small room and his balls drew close. His cock twitched and his whole body vibrated with pleasure. A surge of energy thrummed down throughout his body and the baby shifted.
“You didn’t… you came dry.” Tommy finally removed his hand.
Adam shifted on his toes; the contraction and the orgasm seemed to go on and on. “Wash… wash your hands… get David,” he huffed. He was pushing, he couldn’t help it, and he knew the baby was right there. It burned, fuck it burned.
“David,” Tommy yelled. Adam heard the water turn on and the bathroom door open.
“Fuck, oww, hurry… she’s…”
David hit his knees and Adam felt a hand on his hip. “Tommy, get the gloves on now, baby’s crowning. I know it’s hard, but pant for a minute Adam.”
“Burns… holy shit Tommy, hurry. I… I need to push.”
“Sorry, sorry… these gloves are… there finally.” Tommy dropped to his knees behind Adam.
“Alright Adam, from this point on I want you to listen to what I say very closely. I don’t want you to tear so you’re gonna push only when I tell you. Tommy, you don’t need to do anything until the head is out. Now Adam, I want you to give me a good hard push.”
“Unngh.” Adam whimpered and pushed down, pain and pleasure warred for dominance and Adam focused on the pleasure.
“Give me more,” David directed.
Adam pushed as hard as he could and let out a scream. “Burns… FUCK!”
“Okay, pant Adam, let your body do the work.”
“Oh, baby, she’s got a head-full of hair. I see her forehead. You’re doing so well. I love you Adam.”
“David, gotta push,” Adam warned.
“Little pushes, Adam,” David instructed.
Adam grunted and bore down. It was an amazing feeling knowing his baby was so close to being born.
“Her head is out. I can see her tiny little face,” said Tommy.
“Alright Tommy, now I want you to put your hand at the back of the babies neck and support it as she comes down. When her shoulders begin to deliver, her body will rotate and you want to have a hand to ready to support her back. Once the shoulders are out her the rest will come quickly so be prepared to catch.”
“Okay, I think I can manage.”
“Alright Adam, big push.”
Adam pushed and he could feel her body. She rotated inside of him and the next thing he heard was her cries. “Adam, she… we have a daughter.”
“Adam, using the tub for support, stand up and let Tommy pass her to you through your legs.”
Adam stood and Tommy handed him the wriggling baby. He turned around and with Tommy’s help lowered himself back to the floor. David handed him a towel and he wrapped the tiny infant up and stared down at her. She was still a little bloody from the birth, but she was the most beautiful thing Adam had ever seen.
“Yeah I know you’re not gonna like this,” David warned. He used a bulb to suction out the babies nose and mouth. Her cries went up an octave and she waved her tiny hands in protest.
“There now, just making sure all that nasty stuff is gone,” Tommy murmured and scooted closer to Adam.
Adam held her close. She soon quieted, and he chuckled when she nuzzled his chest. “Try feeding her.” Tommy suggested.
Adam looked up, realizing the world wasn’t just the two of them. “I… I guess she’s hungry.”
“Brush her cheek and she’ll open her mouth for you.” David’s voice was soft.
Adam stroked a finger down her tiny little face. Sure enough, she opened her mouth and he brought her to his nipple. She latched on and began to suckle. The pleasure that had ebbed once she was born lit under his skin once more with the feel of her drawing milk from his breast. It wasn’t at all sexual, but it felt good.
“Look what we did,” Adam said, grinning at Tommy.
“Yeah, can’t believe it. I’m a dad.” Tommy brushed his hand through her hair. “She’s the spitting image of you Adam.”
“She’s got your mouth though,” Adam observed.
“Born at 7:05pm,” David added.
“Glad you thought to look,” Adam sighed.
By this point Adam was exhausted but overjoyed. I had seen the countless battles Adam and Tommy had over baby names, but that evening less than an hour after her birth, their daughter had a name. Addie would be the serene baby they had hoped for.
I know what you’re thinking, what about the baby boy? Well, yeah, the story is far from over. David had mentioned that the second baby could come a few hours or even days later. As of now little Addie had fallen asleep at Adam’s breast and he used his pinky to unlatch her. I nearly died of awe when she smacked her little lips in sleep.
She really was a beautiful little thing and in that moment I knew The Fates hadn’t made a mistake in their desire to knock Adam up. This little girl and her brother would be the tie that bound Tommy and Adam forever. Yes they were soul mates, but these babies gave them a bond that was unbreakable no matter the millions of things they had going against them. Times wouldn’t always be easy and so many people who claimed to be fans wouldn’t accept their relationship, but it didn’t matter. They had each other and their babies and that would be the most important thing from here on out. Fame could be fleeting, but family is for life.
“Contracting?” David asked.
“Give Addie to Tommy and go ahead and squat again. I’m gonna go grab a big bowl and my bag. Don’t push.”
Adam handed Addie to Tommy and squatted with the tub supporting his back. They weren’t like the earlier pains; they were a nagging irritant more than anything. When David came back in he was holding one of the huge mixing bowls from the kitchen and his bag. Adam watched David place the bowl between his legs.
“Push if you need to. Gotta deliver her placenta. Then I’ll let Tommy cut her cord and I’ll take her and weigh her. If you’re not contracting after the placenta is delivered, you can clean up and go to bed until baby boy decides to make an appearance. You’ll appreciate the nap if you can manage to get it.”
Adam nodded and gave a push. David reached between his legs to assist in delivering the placenta. When it plopped into the bowl Adam groaned. He was a mess and needed a shower.
David took the bowl from between Adam’s legs and inspected the contents. “It’s complete.” David ruffled through his bag until he found the pair of scissors he’d sterilized along with a couple of clamps. He uncovered Addie, causing her to stir, and quickly applied the clamps.
“Alright Tommy, go ahead and lay her down.”
Tommy lay the wriggling infant on the floor between his thighs and accepted the scissors David handed him. “I cut between them?”
“Yeah, and don’t be afraid you’re going to hurt her. She can’t feel it.”
Tommy snipped through it after several tries and glanced over at the placenta. “So what do we do with that?” Tommy wrapped Addie back up in the towel and shushed her when her wail reached the ceiling.
“Some people eat the placenta, some plant it for luck. My mother always insisted that mothers should bury the placenta in the same hole as a new tree you were planting. She said it was a good indication of our relationship with the earth. A new tree sprouting up at the same time as a new child. She was always was really into the symbolism of it.”
“You think we could freeze them and take them back with us to the house? I like the idea of planting trees.” Adam sounded tired, but he was curious.
“I’m sure you probably could. You’ll be going home in November? I’m not sure it’s the best time to plant a tree, but I bet one of the home renovation places could recommend a tree that would be right to plant in November. Or maybe a bush or something.”
“Am I the only one who thinks it’s a little crazy… it looks like something out of a horror movie.” Tommy wrinkled his nose.
“Who knew big bad horror movie buff could be grossed out so easily, and by the very thing that was the home to our baby for the past few months. I’m honestly surprised you delivered her without passing out on me,” Adam laughed.
“It’s just… I dunno it looks alien.” Tommy looked from the placenta to Addie and back. “But I guess since it was her home we should honor it.”
“Alright,” said David, “since little miss Addie decided to sleep again I’m going to steal her away long enough to weigh her.”
“Thanks David, really, you’ve been a lifesaver. I’m gonna rinse off real quick upstairs and lay down until it’s time for our little boy to make an appearance. Tommy, would you bring Addie up when David’s done? Put her in a diaper and a onsie and grab one of the Moses baskets from the closet. She can sleep in it until we can get the bassinets moved into our room.”
“Sure, baby. I love you, Adam.” Tommy helped Adam to his feet and kissed him.
“Love you, too.” Adam made his way upstairs.
Adam was stiff and sore. He grabbed a pair of underwear from his drawer and one of the oversized maxi pads his mom had so thoughtfully brought by for the afterbirth bleeding. They weren’t sure how it would all work in the end, but just in case he didn’t want blood all over their bed. He dragged himself into the shower, rinsed off and toweled try. He felt like a zombie and it wasn’t until he went to dry his belly that he could feel the difference. It was definitely less prominent and kind of lopsided now that Addie was here. Adam still wasn’t sure if he could believe it. He’d given birth. He shook he head, pulled on the underwear and put the maxi pad in place. It was all he could do to shuffle to the bed. He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, but not before his little boy gave a kick. “Yeah, little more room in there now isn’t there? Can’t wait to meet you, but could you let me sleep for a little while?” Adam mumbled. Sleep was so close he could taste it.
The sound of crying seeped into Adam’s consciousness and he opened his eyes. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or coo at the scene before him. Tommy had Addie laid out on a changing pad at the foot of the bed and he was changing her diaper. Tommy’s nose was wrinkled comically and when he took off the dirty diaper he rolled it up and took it to the trashcan at arms length like it was a biohazard. All the while Addie wailed.
“Sorry, little miss. Let me get you into a clean diaper and then maybe since your daddy is awake he will feed you. I see you licking your lips like you haven’t eaten in ages.”
Adam was amused that Tommy was already picking up on their daughter’s hunger cues. He wondered for a moment if Tommy had slept at all, but with the way he carefully folded down the diaper so it was out of the way of the cord stump, Adam doubted he had slept at all. The man was slow and meticulous when tired. Adam looked up at the clock to discover he’d slept about four hours. It’d been a little after eight when he’d crashed and it was past midnight. He hadn’t felt a twinge of any more contractions yet. The twins would officially have two different birthdays.
Adam scooted up into bed. He was definitely sore and it was different only feeling the movements of one baby inside him. He brushed a hand over his bare belly and smiled. Once he’d settled with his back rested against the headboard he grabbed one of the extra pillows and plopped it into his lap. Tommy finished with the diaper and wrapped Addie up in a soft green blanket. He handed the little bundle to Adam.
“What did she weigh?”
“Six pounds, eleven and a half ounces.”
“Such a tiny girl,” Adam cooed at Addie and arranged her on the pillow.
“Haven’t been able to take my eyes off her.” Tommy climbed in bed beside Adam.
“Already got your dad wrapped around your little finger.” Adam brushed the baby’s cheek and she opened wide. He drew her little body close to his chest and she latched onto his breast like a pro. “I can’t believe… I just… I gave birth to her. She came out of me. I feel like I dreamed it, but as sore as I am I know it happened. And I’m feeding her my milk.”
“I… while you were sleeping… I held her the whole time. I watched her make faces while she slept. I never thought we’d ever be able to truly share a child, but not only do we share a child, we share two. Biologically they are ours, no matter if we’re part of the handful who will ever know it.”
Tommy scooted closer to Adam’s side and together they watched their baby nurse. Her quiet suckling filled the silence until she fell asleep and unlatched. “Did you bring the Moses basket in here?”
“Yeah, it’s by the foot of the bed.”
“Would you grab it please?”
Tommy got up, retrieved the basket and laid it on the bed beside Adam. Adam nestled their daughter into the basket and curled his body around it.
“Don’t move,” said Tommy.
Tommy scuttled through the closet and finally found the tripod and camera. He got everything set, situated the tripod by the foot of the bed and checked the angle. He climbed into bed and mimicked Adam’s position on the other side of the basket. Adam’s belly was still prominent enough to show the reason only one child was present. Tommy laid his head on his arm and clicked the button. The flash came moments later, forever capturing the beautiful scene, and Tommy checked the display. He took a couple of pictures of just Adam curled around the basket and a couple of close up shots of Addie, and then turned the camera off.
“Done. We’ll be sure to get a few more shots if our other little one ever decides to make an appearance.”
“Yeah, I feel a little crampy, but nothing like the contractions from before. I’m gonna go pee, would you grab me a bottle of water please?”
“Yeah, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Adam got up and quietly made his way to their bathroom. He pulled down his underwear and sat down to pee. After he finished and flushed, he stood by the sink for a second, concentrating on his body. He was definitely cramping and the sensation was much like a contraction, but in a dull way. It was all in his belly. It made him wonder for a moment if Addie’s position had caused the labor to be so uncomfortable. He’d always heard female friends talk about back labor. All this was muddled in his mind as a sudden pressure distracted him. This was familiar, and he realized that it was right from his dreams. On autopilot he grabbed several towels and laid them on the floor a few feet from the floor-length mirror. By the time he’d shucked his underwear and kneeled down on the towels, Tommy was standing in the doorway holding a water bottle.
“Come sit,” Adam said calmly. “I know what to do, the dream showed me this. I just want you to be here to support me, okay?”
“What about David?”
“David can’t do anything, I’m supposed to deliver him,” Adam replied firmly.
“Alright baby, you know I’m here for you.” Tommy crouched down beside Adam.
“Thank you.” Adam tensed, the pain in his abdomen came into sharp focus and so did the need to push. He gave a push and grunted, his water broke and spilled over the towels. “Our son is ready to make an appearance.”
“Good, you’re doing it baby.” To Adam’s ears Tommy sounded afraid.
Adam couldn’t focus on fear. He was strong and he could do this. He pushed and felt the baby move down. Tommy’s surprised gasp met his ears. He couldn’t ask what, he just bore down and glanced back at the mirror. He could make out a tiny foot dangling from his body. The pain ebbed and flowed through him and for the second time during this experience, he felt a connection to the universe and all the women who’d been through this before him. Energy surged and he pushed until he was pretty sure his eyes were going to pop out. Pain, fire, electricity… the sensations flooded him and he looked back to see two legs protruding. He tried to watch the mirror while he pushed, but his vision blurred with the strain. He finally relaxed and panted for a minute. The baby’s bottom was visible. “Tommy,” he gasped. “Listen closely. When the baby is delivered up to the cord I want you to tell me to stop pushing. I want you to reach up and grab the cord and gently pull out a little more of the cord. I don’t want it to be pulled tight as he delivers.”
“Okay, yeah, I can do that.”
Adam gave another big push and Tommy stopped him. Adam watched in the mirror as Tommy followed his instructions.
Adam nodded and gave another series of small pushes, aware of his position and rearing back on his haunches until the towels supported the baby’s butt. Satisfied the baby wouldn’t drop once he delivered the head, Adam gave one push and then another, a zing of pleasure zipping through him as the baby was finally delivered. Adam maneuvered himself so the he was sitting and scooped up the baby. Instinctively he brought the baby’s mouth to his and sucked all of the mucus from the baby’s mouth. Adam turned his head a spit the substance onto the floor. When his mouth was cleared the babe gave a half-hearted cry. “Hand me a clean towel.”
Tommy handed Adam a soft towel and Adam used it to wipe their son’s face and clean the baby up. Their son was a little lethargic and not quiet as pink, but Adam roughed him up with the towel and the baby gave a healthy cry. Adam watched closely as his son’s chest rose and fell. Finally he pinked up like his sister. Adam wrapped him up and brought him close to his chest. “Hi little guy. Welcome to the world.”
The baby looked up at Adam with bleary eyes and nuzzled into his chest. “Maybe he napped with you, he looks sleepy.”
“Maybe, but would you take him… I…”
Tommy took the infant and Adam squatted over the towel. It’d only been a few minutes since the birth, but the cramps had returned and he gave a push. The placenta was expelled and made a wet sound when it hit the towel. Adam no sooner settled back down than a searing pain coursed through his midsection and the world went white.
Either The Fates really have some awesome timing or the bitches really like giving poor Tommy a stroke. Either way, it had to happen. Their little intervention took care of all of the organ tampering they’d done and Adam was back to male minus the breasts, which would stick around until he finished nursing.
David came in and checked Adam and the baby. Both were found to be in perfect health and Adam was showing no signs of tearing or even any indication of the fact he’d just given birth to two babies. While Adam was out I observed David as he weighed the tiny tot. Seven pounds and lungs like his dad once he got riled up. As soon as David was finished, Tommy wiped his son with a washcloth and diapered him. The onesie went on without a problem. Tommy wrapped the infant in a blanket, retrieved the other Moses basket and nestled the babe inside. While Adam slept on, Tommy snapped a couple of pictures of Adam nestled around the basket and then he lay beside the other basket and took a picture. Their family. Tommy’s heart was full and ached all the same. I was impressed with Tommy though. He’d held it together and even had the good wit to call their mothers.
Once Adam finally woke I watched Adam nurse the babies while he and Tommy discussed names for their son. They finally agreed on a name and for now you will know him as Nixy.
Addie and Nixy took center stage for the next few weeks. Their mothers came and Leila brought Adam a double blessing’s pillow. It was a wonderful nursing pillow that aided Adam in nursing comfortably. I was impressed; Adam learned to nurse them with no hands.
Close family and friends were notified of the birth of Adam’s children via a surrogate. Each phone call was packed with questions he felt like he’d answered a million times. Twins? How much did they weigh? What are their names? When are you coming home? What do you need for the house? Why didn’t you tell us? So on and so forth. For Adam, the hardest to break it to was his dad.
I was amazed at how well it all went. In the first week of November Adam and Tommy moved back home and when they got there, they discovered that Alisan and other friends had conspired to set up a nursery.
Luckily they avoided the paparazzi for a while. At nine weeks old the babies were still a secret. It wouldn’t last though.
Adam and Tommy were both exhausted. A steady stream of visitors had been in and out of the house all day and had made nursing a nightmare since only four other people knew that Adam was breastfeeding. The babies were cranky and so were the parents, so when they finally ushered out the last of their guests Adam took Addie and Nixy to their bedroom. He settled into the over-sized rocker, unbuttoned his shirt, and plopped the nursing pillow in place. Tommy handed Addie to him first. He settled her into the pillow, adjusted her position and then reached for Nixy. Soon both babies were suckling happily and for the next few minutes he and Tommy could talk. Tommy sat down in the other rocker. “Something’s on your mind, Adam.”
“Yeah, I’ve just been thinking. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it, but between diapers and feedings and the insane stream of people in and out of our house since we’ve been home, I haven’t had had the chance.”
“Alright, well, I’ve been wanting to talk to you too.”
“You go first,” said Adam.
“Well, David did the belly cast and once it was done he packed it up and we brought it back with us. You didn’t see it after David finished and the day that you went out with your mom to look for waist cinchers, David looked after the babies for a couple hours. I knew you wouldn’t be gone more than three hours since we haven’t started them on bottles yet, so it was rushed, but I uhh… I painted the belly cast.”
“I… I know you could’ve asked Cassidy or Drake, but I… it just felt too personal. I wanted to do it.”
“Let me see.”
“Okay, hang on. Let me go get it.”
Tommy hurried from the room and Adam looked down at his babies tiredly. “Your daddy never ceases to amaze me,” he whispered.
Tommy returned with a large box. He looked at Adam sheepishly. “I uhh…”
“Open the box.”
Tommy removed the lid and pulled away the newspaper to expose the design. On the belly there were twin Virgo symbols. The symbol on the right was purple and faded to pink and the one on the left was blue and faded to aqua. Adam smiled; it represented the way they were inside of him. Then he noticed on one breast was the Libra symbol and the other had his Aquarius. It was perfect. The rest of the cast was painted in bluish-grays and had stars and a smiling moon. Adam couldn’t have imagined anything more perfect.
“Tommy, it’s… I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”
“You really like it?”
“Yes, it’s gorgeous. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And it’s ready for hanging. I figured we could hang it above the mantle. That way anyone who comes in can see how you looked full with our babies.”
“Not that they’ll ever know,” Adam chuckled. Addie had fallen asleep and unlatched, so he handed the nestled little bundle to Tommy. Tommy cuddled her close, walked over to the bassinet and placed her in it.
“Now what did you want to talk to me about?”
“I think… I want to talk to People magazine about the babies… and us if you’re okay with it. I don’t want to wait until the album has been out a month.”
“Yeah, that’s… the only reason I ever wanted to wait was to protect your album sales.”
“I know, I just wanted to make sure it was okay.”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
From there I should say the rest was pretty much history, but that’s not quite how it ends. There are a couple of other things you need to see, the article being the first and the second a special surprise that comes in a little later. For now, here’s a peek at the article that introduced Adam and Tommy’s babies to the world.
Our resident rocker from season eight of American Idol, Adam Lambert, contacted us about a week ago. Of course I immediately looked around the blogosphere to see what Adam had been up to as of late. I was nearly astonished when I came up empty handed other than the news of his album dropping in a couple of weeks. Curious, I called Adam back, but I’ll tell you right now, I never expected what I was about to hear.
Here’s a transcript of our interview along with a peek inside Adam’s bedroom, and a look inside the nursery of his twins, yeah readers you read that right.
Editor: So Adam, you want to tell the world something, what is it?
Adam: Well, I wanted to come out and give the exclusive to People and tell the world that I’ve been living with Tommy (gives Tommy a smile) since December. We moved in together after the tour ended and that’s when our relationship became something other than, forgive me for saying this but, convenient.
Editor: And December was a big month for you already, wasn’t it?
Adam: Yes, I had made the decision that I wanted to have kids while I was still young enough to enjoy them. My manager, who’s threatened to kill me for this since I didn’t tell her about any of it until after the birth of the babies, unknowingly introduced me to a lady who became my anonymous surrogate. We didn’t do it the old fashioned way (chuckles), but we didn’t do it in an office either; there may have been a turkey baster involved. Our privacy was very important. So yeah, in early December she and I got together and did an at home insemination. She had a history of surrogacy and had given birth to twins already and well, in early January we found out she was pregnant. At her nineteen-week ultrasound it was confirmed she was carrying twins.
Editor: And how did Tommy feel about all this?
Adam: I’ll let him answer that.
Tommy: There were a lot of mixed emotions for me. My dad had passed away while we were touring and the idea of raising Adam’s kids with him was a little terrifying. I wasn’t sure I knew how to be a father and I couldn’t ask mine. Now though, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Editor: Were you both there for the birth?
Tommy: Yeah, I actually delivered our little girl with the assistance of the midwife.
Adam: And I delivered our son alone. There were several hours between babies and our little boy decided to arrive with just us present. He came feet first.
Editor: That must’ve been scary.
Adam: I was oddly calm and Tommy was there. It was just like our own little private moment.
Editor: Well, I’m glad everything went well. Now that you have two beautiful babies would you like to reveal their names to the world?
Adam: Well this little miss here is Adara Raine Ratliff-Lambert. We call her Addie.
Tommy: And this little guy is Phoenix Terron Ratliff-Lambert. Nixy for short.
Editor: And you’ve given them Tommy’s last name as well?
Adam: Yes, Tommy was there during the pregnancy and the birth. I also know he’ll be right there beside me when they start walking, go to pre-k, their first dance, and every other milestone. For all intents and purposes these are our children.
Tommy: Exactly, yes they are Adam’s, but they’re also mine in every way that counts.
Editor: Well, on that note is there anything else you’d like to say?
Adam: I want to thank our families for supporting us. To the paparazzi, please respect our privacy even though I’m sure that will fall on deaf ears. To our fans, in lieu of gifts, please make donations to the March of Dimes or Donors Choose. We’re blessed to have everything we need and would prefer our fans to put their money into a charity.
Tommy: And don’t forget to pick up Adam’s new album. It drops November 22nd.
We wish Adam Lambert, Tommy Ratliff, and their new little bundles of joy well. Adam’s new album ‘With Pain Comes Joy’ will be released November 22nd, check it out.
Adam looked at the cover of People. He and Tommy were smiling, Tommy holding Addie and Adam looking down at Nixy who was nestled in his lap. He studied the picture critically. His hair was back in a slick ponytail and he could still see some of the roundness in his face. For the most part his body looked almost normal. For the photoshoot he’d worn a waist cincher beneath his button down and the jacket concealed his breasts. Less than three months had passed since the birth and he looked good. He was eating healthy and had started pumping breast milk so he could be away from the babies a little longer when necessary. They still weren’t overly fond of the bottle, but Adam knew that Tommy enjoyed the opportunity to feed them.
Adam smiled. Tonight was his album release party and his first show featuring the new album would be December 15th. Adam wondered if he’d conceived the twins on that date last year. He’d never know for sure. This year he’d be on stage performing songs from his new album the twins would be fifteen weeks old by then. Adam couldn’t imagine how much they would change in the weeks to come.
Adam heard Nixy cry and sighed. He went into the living room and found Tommy bottle-feeding Addie. “Hey, hey Nixy, you feeling left out?” Adam cooed. He smiled when Nixy turned toward his voice. “How about I feed you? One last meal and a diaper change before your grandmas get here so your daddy and I can go out.” Nixy gurgled and gave a faint smile. Adam scooped him up from his basket and sat down on the couch beside Tommy. Adam made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt and pulling up the sports bra that he’d lined with nursing pads. Once everything was out of the way he situated Nixy in his arms and brought the baby to his chest. Nixy latched on, one little hand on Adam’s breast. Adam never thought he’d love nursing the babies so much, but it was really something else.
“You ready for tonight?” asked Tommy.
“I… I’m kind of nervous. A lot of the writing I did while I was battling morning sickness, the vocals were rushed, and I just don’t know what the fans will think of the album as a whole.”
“They’ll love it.”
“I hope so.”
“If anything they’ll get a peek inside the most personal experience they’ll never know about. I know With Pain Comes Joy as a whole was a roller coaster ride for you, but What Love Is will be the track that steals their hearts. They’ll think you wrote it about our anonymous surrogate,” Tommy giggled.
“Yeah, I wrote that just after the first time you got to feel them move.”
“I know,” Tommy replied. He leaned over, careful not to wake Addie, and pecked Adam’s cheek. “It’s my favorite track.”
A soft knock on the door signaled the arrival of the moms. Tommy got up with Addie and put her in her basket. Adam listened to Tommy’s light footsteps and the sound of the lock clicking open. He smiled when Tommy made a ‘shh’ sound and led Dia and his mom into the living room. Adam waved from his seat on the couch. Nixy was still munching on his dinner. “Your grandmas are here,” Adam whispered. “You and your sister need to be good for them while we’re gone.”
“The babies will be fine, Adam.”
“I know, mom. It’s just the first time Tommy and I will both be away from them for more than a couple of hours.”
“It’s normal to be nervous,” Dia chimed in. “Tommy’s father and I were both a wreck the first time we left him alone after he was born. I knew he’d be safe, but you can’t help that ‘what if’ that’s in the back of your mind. It’s what makes you a good parent.”
“It’s gonna be hard to leave them,” Tommy agreed.
“Yeah, but since Nixy seems to be done I better put him down and make sure my outfit is in place before we go.” Adam slipped his pinky into Nixy’s mouth to break the latch.
Tommy came over and Adam handed Nixy to him. He righted the bra and made sure the nursing pads were in place, then re-buttoned his shirt. A quick run to the bathroom to pee, brush his teeth, and touch up his makeup and Adam was ready to go. He picked up Addie’s basket, kissed her little head, and repeated it with Nixy. “Bye Addie, bye Nixy, we’ll be home later tonight. Mom, the bottles are in the fridge. If you need anything I have my phone on vibrate. Now I’m gonna go before I start crying and ruin my makeup.”
Tommy quickly said goodbye to the babies and followed Adam out. “We’ll be back before you know it, baby. And they’ll sleep most of the time while we’re gone.”
“I know,” Adam replied and slid into the driver’s seat of his Mustang. “It’s just that time with them is so precious. They’re only going to be little once.”
“Yeah, but with your album coming out and the tour in the summer, we have to get used to being away a little. We’ve got a great family and a network of friends that will support us when we need babysitters. And who knows, maybe we can even take advantage of that one evening and drop them off with someone for a little while so we can have some time alone.”
Adam’s dick twitched in the confines of his skinny jeans. They hadn’t been intimate since the babies were born. Adam’s body was pretty much normal as far as erections and sexual response, but he and Tommy had been up to their elbows with the twins. “Yeah, that would be nice.” Adam conceded.
The album party was amazing. I watched as Adam and Tommy danced together. They were happy and I’ll be the first to tell you that Adam’s thoughts about alone time with Tommy weren’t easily forgotten. That night after the party they drove up to a secluded spot away from the city and exchanged blowjobs in Adam’s car like naughty teenagers.
From then on things only got better. Adam’s album sales were through the roof, the babies were growing like weeds, and Adam was getting confident in his body again. I was proud of Adam and Tommy. They’d been through so much together, but wouldn’t you know it, the night of Adam’s first show revealed a special surprise from The Fates.
Adam ran off stage, Tommy close behind him. His adrenaline was through the roof and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Everything had gone so well, the band was tight, and the crowd was amazing. He couldn’t have asked for a better night.
They stumbled into the dressing room in a heap of sweat and giggles. It wasn’t until Adam turned to the mirror that his heart stopped. There next to the mirror was a crimson envelope with stark black calligraphy on the front. Adam shivered. It was addressed to Tommy.