I see a boy walking over here
Can't look away
I see you left
A trail of broken hearts
On your way to me
Tommy watched Adam walk down the hallway toward him, and he couldn't stop staring at him. He knew it was wrong, and it would be questioned, but he couldn't contain himself. There was nothing he could do to pull his eyes from the long tall frame in front of him.
Everything he had ever said, everything he had ever done had been completely gutter fucked in his own head. When he told Adam he could grab him or whatever he wanted, he had no idea what that would include. He should have known better. He should have stopped this at that first sweet kiss.
Sure, it had all started in fun. He was Rock and Roll's bitch, and he would do anything to keep his job, and to stay in front of the screaming fans. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Tommy began to feel differently, and it all came to a head this evening. One kiss, that one kiss that seemed as if Adam could no longer contain his passion for Tommy. If only that was all true, then maybe he would sleep tonight.
Adam Lambert, Adam fucking Lambert with the way he blatantly showed off his sexuality, how open he was. How free he seemed made Tommy almost moan, but he held it in just one more moment. Just one more moment and Tommy would finally be able to think of something besides those beautiful hands. Those beautiful blue eyes that could see through to your soul. Even if your soul was hazed by a set of chocolate brown eyes.
I try not to let it show
But I know that you know
You break me down
Every time you make a move
Without a sound boy you make
Me come unglued
"Great show Tommy. You were absolutely perfect!" Adam showered his show after-glow over the small blonde, and Tommy couldn't help but shudder as the words flowed over his being. Adam patted his cheek, and walked by him to the dressing room. Everything he wanted just walking straight by him. (ha straight, if he wouldn't have said he was he wouldn't be in this mess).
The night looked as though it would be another solo act for Tommy. A date with Mistress Thumb and her four sisters. With a sigh Tommy started toward his own dressing room. No, he wasn't going to do this tonight. He was actually going to speak up for himself. He was going to make sure that he didn't spend another night by himself in some dirty hotel room.
And I don't know what you did to me
And I don't care what the doctors say
Cause no matter what you do
I can't stay away from you
That grab up on stage? That wasn't just for show was it? Was he just dreaming this over in his head for his permanent want of Adam? He couldn't take the not knowing anymore. The small bassist walked up to Adam's dressing room, which was in fact open. He heard voices inside, and when he peered through the door, he saw a pretty little brunette boy sitting on the vanity beside Adam. Someone awfully familiar to Tommy.
"Kris, come on! You know I'm trying to unwind and change here." Adam said with a familiar laugh in his voice. Tommy's stomach sank to the bottom depths where he feared it would never be seen again.
"Oh shut it Adam. I want to hear about your bassist. Have you made your move yet? Other than on stage I mean?" Kris asked the tall singer with a laugh of his own. Adam shoved the man by the hip. The brunette almost fell over, but it was all in good fun.
"No, I haven't. Tommy's straight. He's not going to go for this." Adam said with a small smile. "Kind of reminds me of someone else I know," the singer commented to Kris, who just grinned at him.
"As far as I can tell? Tommy has a little bit more bend in that straight then I did." Kris replied before he kissed Adam's forehead and walked out of the room. On his way by Tommy Kris gave him a wink, and a small wave.
Tommy could feel his heart begin to pound in his chest, as he walked toward the open door, and saw Adam stripping out of his black shirt, and just kind of stared at him for a few more minutes. Adam spotted him after about a second, and smiled at Tommy.
"Hey Glitterbaby, something on your mind?" Adam asked the small blonde with a little bit of worry on his face. He could tell there was something on the bassists mind, and he was pretty sure it had to do with him or Tommy wouldn't be there.
Tommy got up his courage and took a deep breath. Now was as good of a time as any. He opened his mouth to talk, and then decided against it at the last moment letting his mouth fall shut. Adam took note of the 'fish face' as it was called and smiled.
"Hey, you can talk to me about anything." He assured the blonde, and with a ruffle of his hair, wrapped his arms around Tommy, pulling him into a tight hug. A small gasp was pulled from Tommy's body unwillingly, and Adam heard it loud and clear. "Are you alright Tommy?"
With a nod of his head, the bassist just held onto the taller man tighter. One moment, just one perfect moment would be all Tommy needed for a few more months of hell. It would be worth it. It would be worth waiting to confess the words that weren't coming now.
Lead guitarist Monte Pittman poked his head into the dressing room, and immediately took in the scene as if he knew he was interrupting something. "Hey lovebirds, don't mind me. I just wanted to let you know Adam that Kris left and said 'do it and I'll call you tomorrow.' Whatever the hell that means." Monte teased the pair. It was like his job to be the pot stirrer. With his message delivered the guitarist left the two alone once more.
Tommy hadn't let go of Adam the entire time Monte had been in the room, and when he gazed up at Adam after he left Tommy felt something change inside him. And it all came rushing out in a single breath. "Adam, about that kiss…"
Adam felt his own breath catch in his throat. He had been hoping they wouldn't be having this discussion. He got a little carried away out there. His mom was in the audience, and Kris was watching backstage. It's just that touching Tommy's lips, the way Tommy was looking at him. Adam truly couldn't contain the desire that flowed through him at that exact moment.
He had done the stupidest thing he could have ever done, and that was completely lose himself in the moment, forgetting the song he was singing, and just kissing Tommy with such passion. He couldn't believe he had actually done it himself, and now Tommy was questioning it.
"What about it Glitterbaby?" Adam asked as coolly as he could possibly muster at that moment, but he was sure that his face gave away his nervousness over the conversation they were currently having. He just hopes he made it through it without Tommy punching him in the face.
"Did you mean it?" was the whisper that crossed the small blonde's lips. Adam gazed at Tommy with wide eyes for just a moment. What kind of question was that? Where was the 'what the fuck were you thinking?' question he was expecting?
Adam took in the way Tommy looked at him, and he couldn't form his own questions as much as he had thought he could. The dark haired singer just tilted his head to the side, and gazed into those chocolate brown eyes.
"Yes…" Was all Adam could manage to whisper in reply. After thinking about it a moment there was something else he could say. "I've tried to stop. Really, I have. But you have to understand something Tommy Joe…" Adam began to explain right away. "I can't control myself out there. You're so fucking cute, and I can't stand it. From the moment you walked into that audition I couldn't stop thinking about you. I've fallen so hard for a straight boy, and it's killing me."
"Adam?" Tommy tilted his own head questioning him with his eyes. He decided he was already here, and he needed to put Adam's mind at ease. "Please don't apologize…you can't change who you are, and I can't either. I've fallen for you too Babyboy. I thought I proved that out there on so many occasions."
Adam looked even more confused than when this conversation started, but at the same time, a smile crept across his face. Was he sure he heard Tommy correctly? He said he was falling for Adam too? What about his girlfriend? What about everything they had ever said about those kisses being fan service?
The questions loomed in Adam's eyes were as easy to read as any book. Tommy smiled and pulled Adam close, whispering. "Somewhere in the middle of this Adam, it stopped being fan service, and started to become about you and me. We're either our own biggest fans, or it was meant to happen this way."
Adam couldn't help but laugh at that notion, and he just pulled Tommy closer. "Let's go back to the hotel Pretty Kitty, and I'll stake my claim on every inch of your body." Tommy smirked as he knew exactly what that meant.