“No eomma, I’m not going to give rice cakes to the neighbors. Besides, I don’t even know how to make them,” Jungkook says into his cell phone.
“Idiot, eomma will make them for you. It’s bad luck if you don’t!” his mother chastises over the line. Jungkook breathes out sharply through his nose. This is the fifth time his mother has brought it up, and he feels rather worn.
“Eomma it’s not like that anymore, no one does that,” Jungkook tries. He has just moved in to a large house in an affluent neighborhood. His real estate agent had told him that the community was generally young and very wealthy and would fit him perfectly. What didn’t seem to fit was his mother’s traditional views on etiquette.
“If I was over there now I would smack you, brat!” Jungkook rolls his eyes, he hates when his mother is like this, stubborn and unyielding. Luckily, he has the same traits, so he has a good chance of winning this argument.
“Eomma, I have to go. There are still a lot of things to unpack, love you bye!” Jungkook says quickly before ending the call. He breathes a sigh of relief. Despite being in his mid twenties, running his own business, and being entirely independent, he still gets scolded like a child.
Jungkook looks around his living room, bare save for the boxes scattered everywhere and the furniture he has yet to arrange. He has a lot of work to do, so he gets to it. He’s never been one to procrastinating.
Jungkook has gotten about half of his things unpacked in the few hours since moving in. He is rather irritable, because he is jetlagged and generally exhausted, but there is also a scratching at the door that never seems to cease.
He practically has to heave himself off the floor and trudge to the door, an angry remark waiting at the tip of his tongue. He rips open the door, and looks around. There is no one outside.
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows in confusion and goes to close the door. Then he hears it. A small meow that has his skin prickling. He trails his eyes down to see a tiny orange kitten at his doorstep.
“Seriously?” Jungkook hisses, because he hates cats, and one of his neighbors must have one, which is fucking fantastic.
The kitten is looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes, not looking even moderately guilty for being such a nuisance.
“Okay, kitty, just… stay still,” Jungkook whispers, his voice borderline serial killer, and he hopes there isn’t too much of a murderous glint in his eye because he’s read that animals have a sixth sense for that kind of thing.
He reaches down and puts his arms out to grab the animal, and just as his hands close around the cat, it springs up and runs towards the lawn, making Jungkook reel back in surprise. He huffs in irritation and narrows his eyes, determined.
He straightens up and goes after it, hoping to god it doesn’t pee all over his freshly mowed grass. The kitten stops in the middle of the lawn and turns back to look over at Jungkook and he swears it looks evil. It lets out a small meow, and Jungkook scrambles over to it.
He moves quickly, and the thing doesn’t have time to react before he sweeps it up into his arms.
“Ha! Got you!” Jungkook cries out victoriously. He holds the kitten out at arm’s length, and sneers at its doe-eyed expression. He wants to let out a bubble of maniacal laughter because the demon animal is finally at his mercy.
“Won’t let you escape you evil little thing,” Jungkook whispers demonically, smirking at the kitten, who stares up at the man, eyes wide and innocent.
“Just you wait. I’m going to call animal control and-” But before he can finish his threat, the animal is swept out of his grasp and into the arms of another man.
Jungkook gapes as the man -a shirtless man- pulls the kitten close and coos adoringly, the animal rubbing its head into the man’s neck.
“Thanks for finding Hobi for me. I wondered where he run off to this morning,” the man says, his voice low, seductive, and Jungkook shivers, because he can feel the man’s eyes rake over his own form.
No this is not happening. I am not being checked out by some random guy in the neighborhood, Jungkook insists, staring at the man.
He has heard that pets and owners seem to look alike, and this is alarmingly true in the case of this man and his cat. The cat has bright orange hair that matches the color of his owner’s own with ridiculous accuracy, and they both give off an aura of innocence and purity, which Jungkook doesn’t believe for a second.
“I’m Taehyung, by the way. Kim Taehyung,” the man- Taehyung- drawls out, his eyes appraising, and Jungkook shifts on his feet uncomfortably. He’s never been checked out by a guy before and this is slowly getting weird.
“Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook replies tersely, eyeing the cat currently purring in the other man's arms, looking entirely different from the demonic spawn that he knows it is.
“You must be my new neighbor,” Taehyung grins, his eyes holding a dark glint to them, and Jungkook gulps. “I live right next door.” He motions to the house to his right. Jungkook sincerely hopes this Kim Taehyung is not some sort of pervert because he’ll have to reconsider this real estate purchase.
“I suppose so,” Jungkook nods, deciding to ignore the orange-haired man’s very obvious staring, and he feels the need to regain control of this situation.
He clears his throat. “Please refrain from letting your cat back onto my property,” Jungkook says, hoping his voice is polite enough that Kim Taehyung will understand his disdain for animals and not let that thing back near his house.
Taehyung’s grin grows wider as he rocks the kitten back and forth in his arms. “Was Hobi bothering you?”
Jungkook shifts his weight on his feet. “He was scratching at my door all morning.”
“Did you scratch at Jeon-ssi’s door all morning Hobi?” Taehyung coos at the animal in his arms, his eyes adoring and not even mildly apologetic, and Jungkook stares in disbelief at the full grown man blubbering incohorent nonsense to the menace in his arms.
“You need to say sorry,” Taehyung croons. He turns to Jungkook, his eyes swimming with humor. “Hobi is very sorry,” he states, and Jungkook can’t believe anyone could say those words with a straight face.
Jungkook cringes and forces himself to nod. He doesn’t need any feuds starting the first day he’s moving in. “Please refrain from letting it happen again.” He bows slightly, and turns back towards his home, determined not to let this conversation continue any longer than it has to.
“Jeon-ssi!” Taehyung calls out. Jungkook turns around, eyebrows raised. The orange-haired man smiles and Jungkook swears there’s something wicked in it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
There are days when running his own business make him feel like every painstaking moment building up to it is worth it. Other days he wants to tear his hair out and just let Seokjin handle it but that would be giving in and Jungkook doesn’t ever give in.
“Jeon-ssi, the investors from Seoul are on the line right now.”
“Jeon-ssi, you have a board meeting in ten minutes.”
“Jeon-ssi, can you look over the final contract before we send it to Japan?”
“Kookie, you’re mom’s on the phone and she demands to talk to you,” Seokjin says, walking into the younger’s office casually. Jungkook has been reading over the same line on this damn document for the past 10 minutes, and hearing the elder’s voice makes him jump.
“Oh hyung it’s just you,” Jungkook mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with the back of his hand. A large yawn escapes his mouth before he can help it, and his face colors in embarrassment. This is unprofessional.
“Jungkook, are you okay?” Seokjin asks, his face set in concern as he looks over the younger’s haggard appearance. To most people, Jungkook would look absolutely polished, not a hair out of place, but Seokjin is not most people. Seokjin is Jungkook’s best friend, and he knows better.
Jungkook sighs in defeat, his shoulders slumping. “No,” He feels so out of his element, and it’s all because that stupid cat keeps scratching at his front door. He can hear it from his room, and he’s always been hyper-sensitive to sound, so the meowing and the rattling of the door was not lost on him.
He hadn’t slept well for the past three days and it’s beginning to grate on his nerves.
When Jungkook explains why he’s been so out of it lately, Seokjin just laughs.
“Hyung,” Jungkook hisses in annoyance, and the elder covers his mouth with his hand in a flimsy attempt to stop his laughter.
“Seriously, Jungkook. A cat?” Soekjin asks in between fits of giggles.
“It’s not a cat. It’s devil spawn,” Jungkook insists, which makes Seokjin laugh even harder. “Oh shut up.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Seokjin says, breathless from laughter. He wipes the corners of his eyes daintily. “It’s just not every day you see the mighty Jeon Jungkook being defeated by a kitten,” he mocks.
Jungkook cringes as the words ring through his ears on his drive home. Who does that damn cat think he is, anyway?
He just wants some sort of strong alcohol that’ll help unwind his nerves so he can get some sleep. Turning into the driveway, he notices a small form on the path, illuminated by the car headlights.
When he realizes it’s the damn cat, Jungkook groans. He parks carefully and gets out, trying not to make too much noise to startle the thing, and creeps towards it.
Without much effort, Jungkook seizes the small animal into his arms and whoops triumphantly, then pauses, looking around to make sure no one saw that break in character.
“Why are you always messing with me?” Jungkook asks as he stomps down the path to his neighbor’s home. Kim Taehyung, who has this damn cat who potentially has it out for Jungkook.
He struggles to hold the squirming animal in his arms while ringing the doorbell. Luckily he doesn’t have to wait long until the door opens, and Taehyung stands there, just as shirtless as the last time they met, except that now he’s got black rimmed glasses perched on his nose and a pencil tucked behind his ear.
Jungkook pretends he doesn’t notice how low the sweatpants sit on his hips or how tousled the flame-colored hair is, because that would be gay and Jungkook is definitely not gay.
“Your cat,” Jungkook says gruffly, almost shoving the protesting cat into Taehyung’s arms.
“Oh, gosh was he scratching at your door again? Why would you do that, Hobi?” Taehyung smiles apologetically, and Jungkook hopes it’s genuine this time.
“I really don’t know how he’s been getting out like this…” Taehyung frowns contemplatively.
Jungkook coughs awkwardly. “I would appreciate it if you could find the break in your security as quickly as possible.” He doesn’t want to have to file a complaint over a cat. Really he doesn’t.
“Of course, of course,” Taehyung nods, his lips curled up into a half smile. Jungkook nods and shifts awkwardly on the porch.
“Oh! Where are my manners? Would you like to come in for a drink?” Taehyung asks, noticing the younger’s discomfort.
Jungkook pauses because no he really does not want a drink from Kim Taehyung but he does want a drink. He hesitates for a moment, because he has a bad feeling about this, but the alcohol is too tempting.
“We are neighbors. We should at least try to get along, right? And I owe you an apology for Hobi,” Taehyung tries, and Jungkook can’t find himself able to argue with logic. He considers himself a fairly reasonable man, and he doesn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with his neighbor, despite the active nuisance it brings.
He nods briskly and Taehyung opens the door wider to let the man in. Jungkook takes a moment to appraise the house- it’s bright and warm and looks well lived-in.
There are shelves upon shelves of books, both old and new, the walls covered in photos and paintings, no inch of space going unused. It’s a stark contrast to Jungkook’s own home, sleek and modern, not particularly colorful, but it makes Jungkook comfortable.
“He’s been scratching at my door for the past three nights,” Jungkook states, trailing after Taehyung, and the man’s eyebrows shoot up before looking questioningly down at the kitten curled in his arms.
“Really? That’s so strange.” Taehyung frowns, biting down at his plump pink lip and Jungkook almost winces at the action.
“I would advise you to invest in a better system to keep your cat inside.”
“I usually don’t have to… He just goes where he wants, and the other neighbors don’t mind…” Taehyung frowns, thinking.
“You just… let him wander?” Jungkook asks, disbelieving.
“He always comes back,” Taehyung says softly, scratching the kitten’s ears fondly before settling it down. The animal scampers away, out of sight.
“Let me get you that drink,” the man says, walking into the kitchen. Jungkook stands there, feeling slightly out of place. Suddenly he is hyper aware of his silk tie tied a little too tight around his neck, his Italian suit jacket a little too warm.
He considers taking it off, but then the image of Taehyung’s explicitly dark stare from the other day pops into his mind and he decides he should keep on as much clothing as possible. There’s something about Taehyung’s look that makes him feel absolutely naked.
When the man appears from his kitchen, he hands Jungkook a welcome glass of whiskey, the ice tinkling against the glass delicately. It matches the smile adorning Taehyung’s lips.
“Thank you,” Jungkook says gruffly, taking the drink gratefully. Taking a small sip, he sighs in content as the warm burn of the liquid starts to soothe his nerves.
“Taek a seat, Jungkook-ssi, I’ll be back in a moment,” Taehyung says before disappearing up the stairs. Jungkook turns to the living room area and gazes over the brown leather couches.
He sits himself down awkwardly in one of them, and he crosses and uncrosses his legs out of a nervous habit, feeling like a fish out of water.
Jungkook is left in his misery for only a moment, because Taehyung comes down quickly, tugging a shirt over his head as he descends the stairs.
He is almost disappointed when the final strip of skin of Taehyung’s torso disappears under the shirt before he catches himself, horrified.
No, no, no. Jungkook chastises himself. I am not gay, he repeats. I just happened to be looking at the wrong place at the wrong time. I was disappointed Taehyung came down, that’s what it is.
The elder plops himself down on the couch opposite Jungkook, unaware of the war going on inside the younger’s head.
“So, Jungkook-ssi, tell me a little about yourself,” Taehyung starts.
“Huh?” Jungkook’s head snaps up in surprise, and his cheeks color in embarrassment. “Sorry, I was… What were you saying?”
Taehyung smiles indulgently. “I asked if you would tell me a little about yourself,” he repeats, his eyes trailing up the younger, licking his lips as he drinks in Jungkook’s form. Tall, lean, and perfectly delectable in a suit, Jungkook is pure sex to Taehyung, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t have him one day.
The younger man looks a little out of it, and Taehyung wonders whether Hobi has been disrupting Jungkook more than he lets on. It’s strange, really, since Hobi usually roams the neighborhood without being a nuisance. The kitten must have taken a liking to Jungkook, and the thought brings a smile to Taehyung’s face.
“I… own an investment consulting business. We basically help large corporations handle their smaller businesses and assets to maximize their profits,” Jungkook explains hesitantly.
“I see,” Taehyung hums, noting the light of pride in Jungkook’s eyes as he explains his work. He notes this and stores it away for future reference.
“Most people would think it’s pretty boring,” Jungkook cringes.
“I think it’s very interesting. You will definitely have to explain it to me sometime,” Taehyung smiles encouragingly. He’s not going to tell Jungkook how turned on he gets when the younger starts talking technical, his voice dipping low with a thinly veiled passion, all business. He loves how serious the younger is about everything, and wonders if there is a hidden laid-back side as well.
Jungkook balks at Taehyung, disbelieving. “I- Sure,” he breathes, not sure what to make of Taehyung’s invitation.
“What about you?” Jungkook tries not to stutter. He needs to regain control of this conversation before he becomes a self-conscious mess.
“I’m a writer,” Taehyung says casually. Jungkook forgets his inner turmoil for a moment to process the information, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
“Oh?” is all Jungkook can muster up. “What kind?”
Taehyung shrugs. “Science fiction,” is all he divulges. He’s never been the type to go around showing off all his accomplishments. And he is very accomplished. He just chooses not to tell everybody. Not like some of his collegues.
Jungkook only nods, not prying any further, and Taehyung appreciates that. In his line of work, personal space does not exist.
Before the conversation can fall into an awkward silence, Taehyung speaks up. “What do you do for fun, then?”
“...Fun?” Jungkook asks, surprised. Taehyung nods. Jungkook presses his lips together in concentration. Taehyung thinks he looks remarkably cute with that expression, reminding him more of a kid than man.
“I don’t… I really haven’t had time for… fun,” Jungkook says finally. “The last few years I was so busy building up the company I didn’t have much time for myself, I guess.” The younger shrugs.
Taehyung clucks his tongue. “No, that won’t do at all. I’ll just have to drag you out somewhere. You’re going to have fun.”
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow together. “We don’t even know each other.”
Taehyung waves his hand dismissively. “We’re neighbors. We’ll get to know each other eventually.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but a loud ringing from his cell phone cuts him off. He looks at Taehyung apologetically and digs the phone out of his pocket.
“Kookie, I hope you haven’t forgotten that you have a conference call in 15 minutes.” Seokjin’s voice sounds like an alarm through Jungkook’s ear, and he scrambles up quickly, cursing himself for forgetting.
“No I remembered, it’s fine, hyung,” Jungkook says gruffly into the phone before shutting it off. Taehyung gets up and walks to him, concerned.
“Everything alright?” he asks, noting the shift in the younger’s mood.
Jungkook nods, running a hand through his hair. Taehyung doesn’t let this gesture go unnoticed. “Yeah… I just… I have to get going. I have some business to take care of.”
“Sure, of course,” Taehyung nods, and the younger smiles apologetically, but he isn’t very sorry. He’s relieved because he isn’t sure how much longer he wants to spend in Taehyung’s company.
“Thank you for the drink, Taehyung-ssi,” Jungkook says solemnly, bowing his head slightly. Taehyung grins in amusement. Why is this guy so adorable?
“It was my pleasure. Let’s continue this another time, yes?” Jungkook nods briefly, and walks out. Taehyung stand on the doorstep, watching the younger disappear into his house with a self indulgent grin. He has such a nice ass.
The first time Jungkook hears it, he’s not sure what’s happening. There’s a loud thud at Taehyung’s door, and a lot of rustling. Jungkook sits up in bed, eyes narrowed, ears focused.
There’s another thud, making Jungkook tense. He wonders if he should be calling the cops, because it sounds like his neighbor’s house is being broken into.
But then, the moment he reaches over for his phone, he hears it. A loud, piercing moan that carries from the window adjacent Jungkook’s, and shoots straight to Jungkook’s stomach.
There is the rustling of sheets, hissing and expletives, and another breathy moan that has Jungkook’s face turning positively red.
“Oh god... Taehyung yes!” Jungkook’s eyes widen at the unfamiliar voice, and it takes him less than three seconds to figure out what exactly is going on.
Kim Taehyung is having sex.
It had always been pretty obvious which way Taehyung swung, but Jungkook had treated it with indifference. Sure, he was bothered sometimes when his neighbor would very openly check him out, but Jungkook always openly checked out girls in the same way, so he figures its harmless.
But there is nothing harmless about the sounds coming from Taehyung’s house, all breathy moans and yelling and thumping and- what gets Jungkook the most- the systematic creaking of the bed frame as his neighbor and his guest fuck.
Running a hand through his hair, he belatedly wonders whether Hobi is as emotionally scarred as he is. He lets out a noise that’s half air, half desperation, because now he’s thinking about a damn cat while his neighbor is having loud sex.
“Jimin…” Taehyung moans, loud and clear, and Jungkook bites his lip. Who the hell is Jimin?
“Please, Jimin… harder,” Taehyung’s voice carries through, and Jungkook scrambles to shut the window when he realizes (much to his horror) that it’s been open all along.
Luckily the lights in Taehyung’s room are turned off so Jungkook doesn’t have to be visually scarred as well. The noises are thankfully muted now, but Jungkook can’t fall asleep. All he can think about is Kim Taehyung, and the fact that he’ll have to suggest that the elder soundproof his house.
“Good morning!” Taehyung chirps, his voice and his smile inconceivably bright. Jungkook still has one eye shut from sleep, and he’s sure his hair is defying gravity. He wants to be self-conscious but he reminds himself that Taehyung is just a guy.
“Good morning…?” Jungkook mumbles, trying to stifle a yawn.
“It’s a beautiful day, so I thought I would take you sight-seeing,” Taehyung explains. Jungkook claws through the fog in his brain to realize that it’s his day off, and that it, indeed, is a beautiful day. He wants to spend the whole time sleeping.
“Oh come on! You’ve been here a week and I bet you haven’t gone out once,” Taehyung says, and his claim is surprisingly on mark. Jungkook doesn’t know anywhere but his home and his office yet. He figures he’ll look around the city later, but it always gets pushed back.
“It’ll be great, I’m a fun person, I promise.” Jungkook freezes up because at that exact moment, the events of last night dawn on him, the memories, the sounds hitting him like bricks over the head and suddenly he can’t quite look Taehyung in the eye.
“I’m not letting you say no. I’ll stand here all day if I have to,” Taehyung insists, and there is a finality in his voice that makes Jungkook sigh and hold the door open for him to come inside, reluctance rolling off him in waves.
“I’ll just… Give me 10 minutes. Make yourself at home,” Jungkook mumbles and waves to his sitting area noncommittally, body still groggy and lethargic, but his mind working a mile a minute.
Taehyung hums and plops himself down on one of the couches and Jungkook drags himself up the stairs, wondering how he’s going to manage the day.
He showers quickly and pulls on a white collared shirt and a navy blue sweater, tugging on some black jeans and digging for his favorite brown loafers before combing his hair and dabbing on cologne.
Jungkook supposes he dresses like someone in their mid thirties than someone in his mid twenties but he had grown up rather quickly due to the nature of his job and the role he had to take on despite his age. Now, professional attire is a constant in his life, he can’t imagine wearing anything remotely casual.
Taehyung is engrossed in his phone when Jungkook comes down exactly 9 minutes later, and the younger take the time to compare his outfit to the other’s. Taehyung is in a graphic shirt and grey cardigan with ripped jeans and converse, with a fedora perched on his head, making him look artsy and maybe a little wild. They couldn’t look more different.
When Taehyung sees Jungkook, his eyes crinkle in the corner when he grins. “Wha! You’re so cute!” he exclaims, standing, and the younger can’t fight the blush or the creeping discomfort at the base of his spine. Sure he’s been called cute by people, just never a guy. He wants to think that it’s a platonic compliment but nothing Taehyung says or does ever seems platonic.
Jungkook is a little afraid but he figures he’ll just put up with it for one day. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself. He’s handled flirtatious people. Never a guy, but he figures it’s the same thing.
So he lets Taehyung drag him downtown, taking him through his favorite stores, stopping at the antique bookshop, and being generally liberal with skinship. Jungkook has never been a touchy-feely person, and he’s mildly uncomfortable whenever the elder grabs his wrist to drag him into a store or throws an arm casually around his shoulders.
Jungkook almost sobs with relief when Taehyung announces that it’s time for lunch. He takes the younger to a quiet cafe, where Jungkook almost melts into his seat.
“Order whatever you want. It’s my shout,” Taehyung says cheerily, thumbing through the menu.
“No, I can’t let you do that. I’ll pay,” Jungkook protests. There’s something that doesn’t sit right with him about Taehyung paying for him. It feels like… a date.
“Seriously, it’s not even a problem. I’m the one who dragged you out today. It’s my way of thanking you for coming,” Taehyung pouts, and there’s something in it that makes Jungkook’s retort die on his lips.
Jungkook sighs in defeat and Taehyung laughs, taking that as an answer. He chatters about what’s good on the menu and Jungkook nods during the necessary points but he’s not really committed to the conversation. He hasn’t checked his email all day. What if there’s an emergency at work? What if one of the contracts fell through? He wouldn’t know if his company was being torn into pieces because he’s sitting in some cafe listening to Mr. I-never-wear-a-shirt.
“Are you okay?” Taehyung asks finally, breaking his endless stream of conversation when he notes how agitated the younger has become.
“Huh? Uh… yeah. I just-”
“If you need to call someone or anything it’s totally fine. I’m gonna go order for us, okay? Take your time.” Jungkook watches Taehyung get up and saunter over to the counter, where he begins to shamelessly flirt with the girl at the register.
Pulling out his phone and scrolling down his contacts, he wonders whether Taehyung has some sort of sixth sense because the elder has a remarkable intuition when it comes to reading people it seems, especially Jungkook.
He dials Seokjin’s number and presses the phone to his ear, his eyes drifting anxiously out the window.
“Kookie?” Seokjin answers. When Jungkook hears his voice, calm and a little surprised, he feels relieved but also a little embarrassed.
“Uh… Hi… hyung,” Jungkook stammers.
“Why are you calling? Is everything okay?” Jungkook scrambles for an excuse, because this situation feels an awful lot like the way his mother was with him when he went off to college, calling every day, nagging him about meals, and generally hovering.
He’s become that guy.
“Y-yeah… I was just-”
“No the company hasn’t been sucked through a black hole if that’s what you’re wondering,” Seokjin says, understanding the younger’s reason for the call without asking. He knows how possessive Jungkook is. He knows how worried he gets over the business.
“That’s not why-”
“Of course it is stop bull shitting, Kookie,” Seokjin laughs. Jungkook cringes, and his face flushes.
“Isn’t today your day off?” Seokjin asks.
“And you haven’t taken a single day off in the past four years since starting the business.”
“And even on your one day off you’re still thinking about the company?” Seokjin asks incredulously. Jungkook huffs, because really he doesn’t need vacation. He needs his company to grow and thrive and become successful.
“I was just checking-”
“Jungkook, you need to get out more. Have fun, live your life. You need a girlfriend. You need to get laid at least,” Seokjin nags, and Jungkook’s face turns even more red when he thinks about last night and how his neighbor doesn’t seem to have this problem.
“I don’t need a girlfriend. I need to get back to work-”
“I swear to god Jungkook if you’re holed up in your house watching Law and Order reruns I’m going to come and kick your ass.”
“I am out,” Jungkook hisses, finally getting annoyed by his hyung’s incessant nagging.
“Oh?” Seokjin asks, his voice colored in surprise. Jungkook wishes he didn’t sound so shocked. It makes him seem like a loser or something.
“Yes, I am. I am social,” Jungkook protests.
“Name one person besides me that you know here,” Seokjin snorts. Jungkook opens his mouth to say Kim Taehyung but something holds him back from divulging anything about his rather… eccentric neighbor.
“Anyway I just wanted to make sure things were running smoothly,” Jungkook redirects quickly. Seokjin sighs over the line.
“The company isn’t going to crash if you take one day off, Jungkook.” Jungkook chews at his lip nervously.
“I know, I just-”
“Everything is fine, Kookie. Just… relax for a day, okay? It’s the least you can do for yourself,” Seokjin says, concerned.
“Okay,” Jungkook breathes, and he scrambles a quick goodbye when Taehyung slips back into his seat.
“Everything okay?” Taehyung asks, motioning to the phone Jungkook sets on the table. Jungkook nods, minutely embarrassed by his overreacting.
“Yeah I just… don’t like being away from work,” he admits reluctantly.
“Oh, so you’re one of those people,” Taehyung says solemnly.
“What kind of people?” Jungkook asks, trying not to sound too defensive.
“Very oriented. You know what you want, and you’re determined to get it. I’m guessing you were forced to take a day off.” Taehyung leans back in amusement. Jungkook looks like he’s fighting very hard to remain stoic.
“How would you know that?” he asks, his eyes slightly narrowed. Taehyung shrugs.
“I’m an author. I spend a lot of time studying people. After a while you start to see general patterns. It’s easy enough to guess.”
“I’m more complex than you think,” Jungkook says, his voice defensive and low. Taehyung likes it.
“I’m sure. But on the surface you’re a work-oriented businessman, simple as that. Delving down deeper into people takes time and effort. I would love to get to know you better.” Taehyung grins.
Jungkook opens his mouth, but no words come out. He’s fairly sure at this point that Taehyung is hitting on him, but he choses to ignore it. He’s saved when the waiter comes with their food.
“So, what else do you do, as a writer?” Jungkook asks. He’s never seen Taehyung actually doing much of anything, besides walking around shirtless and having sex.
“I spend a lot of time in public places like this, watching people. Watching they way they interact with each other, how they react to situations, and I use it as a template for my own characters."
He launches into an enthusiastic explanation, and Jungkook sits back, relieved at having dodged the flirting, and let’s himself get wrapped up in Taehyung talking, falling back into the routine of nodding at the right time, saying a few words here and there to make sure the elder knows he’s listening.
One thing that Jungkook finds that he likes about Taehyung (and there are very few of those) is his passion for writing, evident in the way he is currently explaining his craft. It reminds Jungkook of himself, except his interests are more conventionally boring. He’s a rather boring person, he realizes, in comparison to Taehyung.
“You’re not much of a talker, are you?” Taehyung says suddenly. Jungkook looks up from his salad and shrugs.
“I prefer listening, to be honest. I don’t usually talk unless I’m ordering someone around.”
Taehyung’s lips break out into a wicked grin, and he leans in. “Oh, I like the sound of that,” he drawls, winking suggestively, and Jungkook’s cheeks flare red. He regrets coming out with Taehyung now, more than ever.
It seems the gods are on his side because just then, Taehyung’s phone rings. The elder clucks his tongue in irritation before smiling apologetically, getting up from his seat to answer the call when he reads the caller ID.
Jungkook can faintly hear the conversation from a few feet away- they’re outdoors and Taehyung simply steps onto the curb.
“No Namjoon, not tonight. I’m busy,” Taehyung says.
“Well I was busy last night too.”
“Yes I was with Jimin, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business anyway.”
“You can come by tomorrow, how’s that sound?”
“No, I’m going out with Yoongi that day.”
“I know you don’t like Yoongi. But you’re not the one sleeping with him.”
“Namjoon, babe, I don’t really care.”
“Tomorrow or nothing.”
“‘Kay. I’ll see you then. Bye.”
When Taehyung comes back Jungkook coughs and hopes it doesn’t look like he’d been within earshot of that rather interesting conversation. He wonders whether Taehyung was talking about what he thinks he was talking about.
“Sorry, just a friend,” Taehyung apologizes.
“Oh,” is all Jungkook says. Taehyung launches back into his schpeel, and Jungkook tries not to stab too hard into his salad because there is something uncomfortable and sinister swirling in his stomach, and he can’t- he won’t- think about what it is.
They spend the rest of the day walking down the boulevard, stepping into every store Taehyung wants to, and Jungkook finds the initial tension in his gut uncoiling. The sun begins to set and they slip into a waterfront restaurant, the day’s final rays of sunlight shining down on Taehyung’s face, making the elder look ethereally handsome in a way Jungkook has never considered a man.
He wants to hate Taehyung for making him confused. He wants to step away and run because he shouldn’t feel this way about a man but there is something so charming about the elder, and Jungkook finds himself not shying away from his skinship, laughing at his jokes, and sneaking looks when he thinks Taehyung isn’t paying attention.
Jungkook tells himself that it’s natural to see someone good-looking and feel mildly flustered. That doesn’t make him gay, he’s simply… appreciating the goods. He knows in his heart that he’s straight, and it will always be that way. But for now, he let’s himself bask in the elder’s bright presence, and he even finds himself enjoying listening to him talk.
He could listen to Taehyung talk for ages, and there’s a fondness creeping into his chest. He figures it’s brotherly love. He feels comfortable around Taehyung. It feels natural.
Jungkook is mildly disappointed when they approach their block, and he turns to Taehyung when they reach the path that forks down their respective driveways.
He smiles, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I had a really good time hyung. Thanks for-”
Before he can finish his sentence, he finds him mouth covered with Taehyung’s own. His body freezes as he feels Taehyung’s lips working against his own, warm and supple, and it’s over before he can register what happened.
“No, thank you,” Taehyung murmurs, his breath ghosting over Jungkook’s lips. The younger remains frozen. “Would you like to come in for a drink?” His smile is charming and open.
“H-hyung, I-I don’t… like… uhm… guys.” Jungkook swallows thickly when Taehyung frowns, leaning away.
“Huh. That’s too bad.” The elder shrugs nonchalantly and steps backs. Jungkook lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.
“Still want to come in for a drink?” Taehyung offers casually. Jungkook shakes his head.
“Thanks, hyung. But I think I should g-go.” Jungkook curses himself for stuttering at the last second. He thought he had been doing a good job of pulling himself together and ignore the feeling of wanting to scream.
“Sure. We should do this again sometime though.” Taehyung smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Jungkook’s stomach flips.
“O-okay,” Jungkook nods, turning on his heel to head towards his house. “Goodnight, hyung,” Jungkook calls out.
“Sweet dreams, Jungkook.”
“Are you taking all your vitamins?”
“Yes, eomma,” Jungkook sighs.
“Are you eating your vegetables? Don’t think I don’t know how much ramen you ate in college, brat,” his mother scolds over the line.
“Yes, eomma, Seokjin hyung taught me to cook, I’m fine.”
“Do you need eomma to come down and clean?”
“No eomma I’m-”
“You must be so busy at work you don’t even have time to clean. You need someone to take care of you. Why haven’t you found a nice sweet girl yet?”
Jungkook lets out a slow stream of air through his nostrils in an effort to combat the irritation clawing at his gut. He loves his mother but he hates calling her because he knows all she’ll do is nag him about eating and not having a girlfriend.
“I’ve been busy, eomma,” Jungkook emphasizes, hoping she’ll get the message. He’s not looking for a relationship right now, and lately he’s been a bit… confused about who he finds necessarily attractive.
“Don’t worry, eomma will find someone for you! I have a friend who has a daughter your age. I’ll set up something.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen. “No! Don’t do-”
The line goes dead. Jungkook pulls the phone away from his ear gaping, looking at the words on the screen. He rubs at his temples, he’s about to get a migraine.
“Everything alright?” a familiar voice asks, and Jungkook turns his head in surprise to see Taehyung grinning over the fence that separates their backyards.
Jungkook had come outside to properly pace because it was the only way to release the tension whenever he had a conversation with his mother. He didn’t think that there might be anyone else outside this morning.
“Yes. I’m fine,” Jungkook says tersely while walking towards the fence. Taehyung props his hands over the ledge and tilts his head. He is shirtless- as usual- and his trademark fedora is perched on his head. The sun glistens on the elder’s bare shoulders, making them look almost iridescently gold. He’s breathtaking and Jungkook feels like he has to physically rip his eyes away.
“Nagging eomma?” Taehyung guesses, and Jungkook finds a small smile slipping onto his face as he nods.
“Kind of. I’m a grown man but she treats me like I’m still in elementary school,” Jungkook says without thinking, because something about Taehyung makes him comfortable, makes him want to spill all his secrets, the fears that he doesn’t even tell Seokjin.
The morning after their kiss had been awkward for Jungkook but Taehyung had obviously taken it in stride because there he was, outside watering his garden and waving Jungkook off to work every day as if nothing had even happened.
The elder had taken to feeding Jungkook often, bringing him muffins if he’d baked them in the morning, inviting him for dinner when he didn’t have other… guests.
Jungkook had reconciled himself with Taehyung’s sexuality (which was very... fluid) and his need for constant skinship. He had also almost come to terms with his affection for the elder, which he classified as friendship. Taehyung was a bright, delightful person to be around, and Jungkook feels like he’s stepping out into the sunshine whenever he’s with the elder.
The one thing he couldn’t get off his mind was the number of lovers (and there were many) that Taehyung seemed to keep. Every night, there was a new man, a new name tumbling past the elder’s lips as Jungkook imagined him in the thows of passion, being taken by another, leaving a bitter taste in the younger’s mouth.
Every time Taehyung stumbles home with someone, Jungkook’s mind flashes back to the kiss, the warm gentle kiss that left him reeling because it wasn’t altogether bad. Taehyung had felt no different from the girls he had kissed before. Maybe Taehyung was… better.
Jungkook assures himself he’s just irritated because he’s losing sleep. He pushes the knotting in his stomach to the back of his mind.
“That’s what they do, I suppose,” Taehyung nods solemnly, bringing Jungkook out of his thoughts. “I wouldn’t really know.”
That makes Jungkook pause. “What do you mean?” he asks, frowning. Taehyung smiles, a small upward curve at the edge of his lips, eyes sad.
“I never knew my parents. Apparently my birth mother put me up for adoption right when she had me. I was raised in a church orphanage until they realized my sexual preferences and I got kicked out,” Taehyung shrugs, as if he were talking about what he was going to have for dinner tonight. It makes Jungkook realize that the elder had come to terms with and had moved on from this part of his history a long time ago.
“When they found out you were… gay?” Jungkook asks, pronouncing the last word carefully. As open as Taehyung was about his sexuality, Jungkook was still uncomfortable talking about it.
“Well, technically, I guess I am gay, but if I’m drunk enough I’ll go for girls,” Taehyung smiles, a cheesy box smile that shows his gums, his eyes crinkling until they’re small slits. Jungkook feels a little lost.
“I wonder how my eomma would have treated me if she knew I was gay,” Taehyung muses, the remnants of his smile still present on his face. The question makes Jungkook’s stomach twist. What would his eomma do if he was gay?
“Good thing I never had to find that out!” Taehyung laughs, brushing the thought from his mind. Jungkook, however, can't stop turning the words over in his mind. This had never been a worry for him- he's straight, he likes girls. But hypothetically, if he were to like guys…
No, Jungkook chastises himself. He can’t think like that. He’s not gay. He doesn’t have this problem, he shouldn’t worry about silly things like that. But Jungkook can’t stop the next words that tumble out of his mouth.
“Hyung, when did you know you were…” Jungkook trails off, waiting for Taehyung to fill in the answer.
Taehyung quirks up an eyebrow. “When I knew I liked penis instead of vagina?” he asks bluntly. Jungkook’s cheeks flare up, and he lets out a strangled noise of mortification. The elder laughs heartily, amused by Jungkook’s reaction.
“I suppose I always knew. I’ve never given much thought to the when or why or how. I just like who I like. That happened to be guys and I never questioned it,” Taehyung answers, joking aside.
“But… when you got kicked out of the orphanage, didn’t you ever wonder?” Jungkook asks, biting his lip in frustration.
“Wonder why I was gay, you mean?” Jungkook nods. “I never questioned because I knew who I found attractive and who I didn’t. If a place isn’t going to welcome me because they don’t agree with who I sleep with, then that’s too bad.”
Jungkook gulps down the frustration, because it can’t be that simple. It just couldn’t. He’s always liked girls so he’s always considered himself straight. But after the kiss with Taehyung- which he realized belatedly that he enjoyed- he constantly questions himself.
He sometimes stares at his male co workers and wonders if there’s that same attraction, that same fluttery feeling he gets with Taehyung. There is not.
So is this a fluke? Is he still straight and he just finds Taehyung attractive to look at? Is he bisexual because he still likes girls but now he also likes Taehyung, who is very much a guy? Is he just Taehyung-sexual?
“Hyung, can I ask you something else?” Jungkook blinks nervously. Taehyung’s smile is warm.
Jungkook can’t keep the red from staining his cheeks. “Can we… kiss again?” he asks hesistantly. Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise before his face falls into a terribly attractive smirk.
“You want to kiss me? I thought you weren’t gay?” Every word seems drawn out, and every syllable makes Jungkook feel more and more like a fool for even suggesting it. But he needed to know.
“I… I don’t… I’m not, but-”
“But you want to make sure.” Taehyung nods in understanding. Jungkook runs his hands through his hair. This is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea.
“Well then, come over.” Taehyung opens the gate connecting their backyards, and Jungkook steps onto the elder’s property, feeling like he’s on a different planet altogether.
He stops awkwardly in front of Taehyung, who is still so terribly shirtless. Jungkook is in one of his business casual sweaters and suddenly it is too hot in the knit wool. It is simply too hot.
Taehyung clucks his tongue in annoyance as Jungkook simply stands there, and reaches out to grab onto Jungkook’s wrist and tug him until he’s flush against the elder.
Jungkook lets out a gasp of surprise and his hands grab onto Taehyung’s biceps to steady himself. The two are eye level, and if Jungkook leaned forward a few centimeters, their noses would brush.
He is acutely aware of the blood rushing to his cheeks and his heart hammering a mile a minute. How did he get himself into this position?
“Don’t be so nervous. I thought you were some hotshot businessman,” Taehyung jokes, and Jungkook clears his throat nervously. He can count Taehyung’s eyelashes, long and dark, framing his perfect almond eyes that now crinkle at the corners in amusement.
It’s just an experiment, Jungkook reminds himself. It’s an experiment to prove that the kiss was just a fluke. He finds these thoughts evaporating in his mind when Taehyung’s eyes suddenly become sharp and serious, his hands coming up to cup Jungkook’s chin.
“It’s not too late to back out,” the elder whispers, and Jungkook can still smell the mint of Taehyung’s toothpaste and the sharp tones of his imported coffee.
“Let’s just get this overwith,” Jungkook responds shakily. Belatedly, he realizes that at the age of 27, he really isn’t in a position in life to be “experimenting” like this, but as Taehyung leans forward it’s too late to regret anything. He just needs an answer.
Jungkook figures that their second kiss will go smoother considering he’s ready this time, but the moment Taehyug’s supple mouth presses gently on his own, he’s back at square one. His lips positively tremble as the elder presses closer. Jungkook wants to be embarassed that he’s acting like an elementary school kid getting their first kiss, but he can’t bring himself to get past the feeling of Taehyung.
He feels like his entire body is shaking, feeling so completely out of his element as Taehyung’s hand moves past his chin to caress his cheek, pressing their mouths closer. Another hand finds itself at Jungkook’s hip, pushing him flush against Taehyung’s chest.
Jungkook gasps in surprise, and Taehyung takes the opportunity to swipe his tongue at the younger’s bottom lip, asking for permission to go further.
Jungkook knows this is where the kiss should end. He’s done his little experiment. He’s kissed Taehyung. Now it should be over. But he finds himself falling, falling, falling down what seems like an unfathomable vortex as the only thought that crosses his mind now is Taehyung.
All of his hesitation falls away because he can feel Taehyung’s hand splayed across his back. He doesn’t want to pull away because Taehyung’s tugging at his hair. He loses his inhibition because Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung.
He finds himself pushing himself even closer, opening his mouth for the elder, an open invitation that he did not originally intend to give but cannot find himself regretting. His lips are no longer trembling, but he feels like he still has no control as Taehyung slips his tongue in, gently prodding inside his mouth.
Curiousity and something else in his gut makes him open his mouth wider, makes him lean in until their noses are brushing, and they’re more breathing in each other than actually kissing, fighting to get closer with each passing moment.
Jungkook doesn’t know how long they stand there, mouths moving together, fingers curled around each other, but he doesn’t want to let go. He’s overcome with a deep and burning lust that pools in the base of his stomach, making his toes curl and his skin burn.
He wants to stay like this forever but he’s running out of breath and Taehyung finally leans away, lips still touching but no longer quite kissing. Neither of them pull away, still caught up in the moment, because they know if either of them move the all encompassing something in the air will dissipate and leave them with the responsibility of making sense of their actions.
It is Taehyung who pulls apart first, stepping back slowly, and Jungkook leans forward subconsciously towards the motion before he catches himself.
For a moment they just stare at each other, both still breathless, lips swollen cheeks flushed. The reality of the situation doesn’t dawn on Jungkook until he processes the very dark, very sinister look in Taehyung’s eyes.
He gulps, and his throat suddenly feels like it’s constricting him. He stumbles back a step, raking his hands through his hair.
Did that really just happen? Jungkook wonders, looking at Taehyung as though he should have the answers to the millions of questions currently running through his head, overwhelming. Jungkook feels like he’s drowning.
The moment Jungkook gapes at Taehyung, horrified, the elder’s expression changes from dark desire to blank, stoic, and he puts a small smile on his face, the same one he forced the first time he kissed Jungkook, but the younger is too spooked to notice.
“Do you want some lemonade, Jungkook? I picked the lemons fresh from my tree this morning. It’s absolutely delicious,” Taehyung says casually, turning back towards his house, motioning for the younger to follow him.
Despite the internal war he’s having within himself, Jungkook trails after the elder mindlessly, still unable to come to terms with what had just come to pass.
Taehyung kissed him. He kissed Taehyung. They both kissed each other. He liked it. He liked it better than any other kiss he’s ever had.
And the thought scares him so much he feels like his knees are going to give out at any moment, and he sinks into one of the barstools in Taehyung’s kitchen as the elder hums around the space, chattering about everything and anything but Jungkook can’t register the words.
“Earth to Jungkook?” Taehyung waves his hand in front of the younger’s face, setting down an ice-cold glass of the promised lemonade in front of him.
“What?” Jungkook asks, blinking and trying to focus on the present. There’s a pounding at his temple, and he knows he’ll have a migraine soon if he doesn’t stop replaying the last five minutes over and over again in his mind.
“I said, I sent in my final copy of my manuscript to my publishing company. They said copies of the book will be out in a few weeks,” Taehyung smiles proudly, and Jungkook forces his mouth to turn upward into what he thinks is a smile, but it ends up looking more like a grimace.
“That’s great, hyung,” Jungkook says, congratulating himself on not stuttering on his words. Taehyung grins and launches into an explanation of his book, apparently the final installment in his best-selling saga about a dystopian universe.
Jungkook doesn’t hear the words. Instead, he fixates on the way Taehyung’s mouth moves when he talks, the movement of his lips as he forms the words, the tongue that swipes across it occasionally as he continues to speak, and Jungkook finds himself mirroring the motion until he realizes what he’s doing and drags his eyes to focus on the beads of condensation on his glass.
He is in inner turmoil, everything about the situation feels wrong to him. He shouldn’t have enjoyed that kiss. He shouldn’t have kissed Taehyung back. He should have just stopped after the first few seconds.
Jungkook tries to tell himself that he just got caught up in the moment, that he hadn’t been intimate with anyone in a while so he reacted intensely to the first person who touched him like that, regardless of whether it was a guy or a girl.
He is definitely not gay. He knows that people can sometimes kiss without having to change their sexuality. Kissing is kissing, and just because he and Taehyung kissed doesn’t mean he’s gay. Just because he thinks Taehyung is attractive doesn’t make him gay.
And if he sometimes thinks about what it would feel like to have Taehyung underneath him, writhing with the pleasure that he gave, his name tumbling past the elder’s lips instead of a stranger’s, that doesn’t make him gay either.
The only way he could ever be gay was if he actively pursued a relationship with a man, and Jungkook has no intention of doing that, especially not with Taehyung.
“It feels really good to bring this story to a close. I can be at peace knowing it’s over, that there’s closure,” Taehyung continues, leaning his head on his hands as a content smile forms on his lips.
Jungkook cringes, because the elder seems to be significantly less tortured by the kiss. He wonders if the kiss was even a big deal to Taehyung. He doubts it- the elder must have people all over him constantly, and just because he kissed Jungkook doesn’t make Jungkook special. It doesn’t make the moment special. That thought doesn’t sit particularly well.
“Don’t forget dinner tomorrow night. I’m experimenting with this new pasta recipe and I want you to be the first one to try it,” Taehyung reminds Jungkook as the younger crosses over into his own property.
The younger nods hesitantly, and disappears into his house quickly. When Taehyung is sure Jungkook is gone, the bright smile on his face drops, and his shoulders sag as he drags himself back inside.
Hobi scampers towards Taehyung, and the man picks up the small kitten, pulling it to his chest. Stroking the soft orange fur, he allows himself to sigh.
That kiss… Taehyung thinks back to Jungkook’s unusual but not unwelcome request. Taehyung had never been one to deny anyone a makeout session, and he especially wasn’t going to say no to the sexy neighbor.
It didn’t really matter to Taehyung that Jungkook was a little confused. If he could remedy that confusion, all the better. Maybe he’d finally get into Jungkook’s pants like he’d been dreaming of doing for the past few weeks.
It was mildly disappointing when Jungkook told him he was straight, but Taehyung knew that sexuality wasn’t some exact equation. It wasn’t some binary where everyone fit into a specific category, and Taehyung was proof of this.
He figured that if Jungkook was dead set on being the straight boy, he wasn’t going to push it, but the request for a second kiss had Taehyung’s mind reeling. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t as straight as he thought. Or at least, he was confused, and Taehyung didn’t mind taking advantage of that.
But when he kissed Jungkook, it felt different than the first time. It felt different than any other time because Jungkook was shaking, everything about him was unsure, and Taehyung had complete control. The thought of that power was daunting.
Taehyung was sure after a moment Jungkook would shove him away, disgusted with himself and maybe with Taehyung, but the younger only pulled him in tighter, opened his mouth obediently, and began to move his lips with Taehyung’s.
Everything was so new, so fresh, so unlike the expertise of his many lovers who knew what they wanted and knew how to get it quickly. There was nothing very emotional about casual sex, but Taehyung didn’t know anything else.
But this, this kiss, just a simple action of mouth against mouth had Taehyung’s stomach fluttering, his heart pounding, and his skin burning. Maybe it was because Jungkook was desperate and new and Taehyung actually liked the younger, liked his company and his personality despite their differences and he felt like they connected.
Taehyung pulled away first because he felt so overwhelmed, and maybe a little hopeful, because he had always wanted to get into Jungkook’s pants. But now he wanted more. He really wanted to get into Jungkook’s pants, but now he also wants to know all of Jungkook’s fears, what kinds of movies he watches, his favorite flavor of ice cream. He wants to know everything.
But seeing the expression on Jungkook’s face makes everything fall away. Taehyung sees the fear, the regret, and Jungkook looks so afraid. He doesn’t want to scare the younger, so he tries to relieve the tension by inviting Jungkook for lemonade.
He needs to act like nothing big happened because he knows Jungkook will freak out. He doesn’t want to lose the younger as a friend because of a kiss. If there’s something between them, Taehyung isn’t going to try and ruin it by pushing Jungkook past hs boundaries.
So Taehyung spends a good amount of time having a one-sided conversation with Jungkook while the younger stares lasers into his glass of lemonade, and tries to keep himself together until he’s gone. He needs to make it seem like it’s not a big deal. Even when something deep within him tells him it is.
Taehyung has never worried about his sexuality. He has never been ashamed of it, he has never questioned it or tried to label it. He just wants to enjoy it. He has never considered that some people didn’t think that way. That the label ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ could be so important to some people. Could be important to Jungkook.
Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to kiss Jungkook. Because now everything has changed. Jungkook is probably scared of Taehyung, and now Taehyung is scared of the feelings he might be developing for Jungkook.
In the end, it’s still just him, alone in a big house, surrounded by life he created with his pencil alone, wondering if one day there’ll be more voices to fill the space of his home, to fill the spaces in his heart.
“You won’t leave me, will you?” Taehyung mumbles as the kitten in his arms curls into his neck, purring. “You’re the only one,”
The next day, Jungkook throws himself into his work with a renewed vigor that makes even Seokjin stop for a moment to side-eye the over-enthused younger.
He’s trying desperately not to think about the impending dinner with Taehyung tonight. Why did he even agree to this? Jungkook knows he should stay as far away as he can from the elder, but the image of Taehyung pouting, his eyes sad, but his smile ever present pops up into his head and he curses himself for even thinking about dropping plans with Taehyung.
Jungkook’s mind is completely occupied by the kiss, running through every second of the moment, analyzing every breath, every touch, every conceivable facet until his head hurts and his stomach is swirling with anxiety.
Every step he takes towards Taehyung house causes another jolt. It takes him almost a minute to collect himself before knocking on the door swiftly, exactly three times.
The door opens to reveal Taehyung, grinning from ear to ear, fully dressed this time (thankfully), but with an apron wrapped around his waist.
“Come in! Dinner’s almost done,” Taehyung beckons Jungkook inside, and the younger is overwhelmed with the savory aroma of garlic, tomatoes, and onions swirling around the house.
“It smells incredible in here, hyung,” Jungkook says sincerely, placing the bottle of wine he brought over down on the dining table, already set.
It’s cozy and warm, and he grins when Hobi scampers over, winding himself between Jungkook’s legs and purring.
“Hey there, buddy,” Jungkook laughs, stooping down to pick up the kitten. It immediately curls itself into his chest. In the past few weeks, Jungkook and Hobi had been able to reconcile their differences, and Jungkook will never admit to how much cat food he has hidden in his kitchen drawer.
Jungkook wanders into the kitchen, rubbing gentle circles on Hobi’s head as he watches Taehyung bustle around the space.
They chat amiably as Taehyung works his magic and Jungkook watches from the side. It takes Taehyung one attempt at trying to teach Jungkook how to cook for him to realize never to let the younger into the kitchen ever again.
It makes Jungkook shiver when he realizes, alarmed, at how domestic the whole situation is. He shakes his head to clear the thought out of his mind, and Taehyung tells him that the pasta is ready.
Dinner is pleasant, much to Jungkook’s relief. The conversation never seems to lag, what with Taehyung’s new book almost ready to be out on the shelves. The elder is more than happy to explain the premise of his epic science fiction saga.
Jungkook will never admit it, but he did some research on Taehyung out of curiosity, and was alarmed to find just how famous and widespread his name was. There was even a rumor of his series being in the works for a movie deal. Taehyung had never mentioned anything about his success, so Jungkook figures it must be humility.
The food is delicious and Taehyung’s company is addicting. Jungkook finds himself admitting that he enjoys spending time with the elder more than with anyone else. They talk about everything and anything, and there is no mention of the kiss, and Jungkook is glad. Maybe the night will just go smoothly.
It’s not until the dishes have been stacked in the sink, and both men have curled up on the couch in front of the crackling fireplace, pleasantly buzzed from the wine, that Jungkook starts to feel something tingle underneath his skin.
Jungkook finds himself paying more attention to the sensuous way Taehyung’s lips move that what he’s actually saying. He’s particularly transfixed with the way his mouth curves around the edge of his glass when he takes a sip of wine, the way he licks his lips afterward, the small smirk of pleasure because it is some damn good wine.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, not missing the way the younger’s eyes have been raptly focused on him for the past thirty minutes. Jungkook’s eyes shift to meet Taehyung’s darkening gaze, and he swallows thickly.
“You are a very beautiful man,” he drawls out, staring Jungkook down over the rim of his glass, and watches with satisfaction as the normally put-together man flushes a pretty scarlet.
Taehyung keeps his thoughts censored as much as possible throughout the night, knowing that if he were to hint at the direction his mind wanted to run, it might spook Jungkook.
And damn if Jungkook doesn’t make it so hard for Taehyung to control himself. Always dressed impeccably, always so put together, it’s too tempting for Taehyung to want to unravel him, bit by bit, until he’s falling apart.
He finds his hand snaking towards Jungkook’s demin-clad thigh, and he gives it a light squeeze.
“I mean it. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” I want to have you.
He watches as Jungkook lets out a shaky breath before meeting his gaze.
“Taehyung… what are we?” he asks, eyes shifting between Taehyung’s face and the fingers rubbing circles onto his thigh.
I want you to be mine.
“Whatever you want us to be, Jungkook,” Taehyung says instead. The last thing he wants to do is push the younger into something he’s not ready for.
“A-anything?” Jungkook replies shakily, rolling the word on his tongue like it was the most important thing. Taehyung nods and sets his wine glass down on the coffee table, scooting closer.
“Anything you want. If you want this to be something, it can be. If not, then that’s fine too. I just want to help you,” I want to help you understand how much I want you.
“I’m just… confused right now,” Jungkook frowns, his forehead creasing with the motion. Taehyung wants to kiss the lines away.
“That’s okay. I’m here for you,” Taehyung finds himself saying the words despite every bone in his body telling him that he’s probably going to get terribly hurt by this. It would be great if he just kissed Jungkook and everything worked out, but the odds of Jungkook freaking out and leaving Taehyung strung out were higher.
Casual fucks are easy for Taehyung- he has a string of lovers on speed dial for every occasion, and for a couple of hours, it’s enough. It makes him forget that he doesn’t actually have anyone in this world. He doesn’t have parents or siblings, he just has Hobi.
He craves Jungkook so desperately it’s almost physically painful. All the times he invites the younger for dinner, their outings on the town, the conversations had over backyard hedges, they all start to fill up the obvious gaps in his existence, and the last thing he wants to do is move too fast and lose everything.
“What do you want, Jungkook?” Taehyung murmurs, bringing his hand up to rest on the younger’s hip. Jungkook licks his lips and looks down at Taehyung’s mouth, pink and plump and just begging to be tasted.
“I want… to kiss you again,” he breathes, leaning closer until their faces are millimeters apart, not quite touching, but tantalizingly close.
“Then kiss me,” Taehyung whispers, leaning in eagerly to close the gap, and he pushes himself forward, melding his lips onto Jungkook’s own and he has to bite back a moan because he’s waited so long for this.
Jungkook feels more in control now that he’s gotten over his initial hesitation, and he finds himself leading the kiss, making sure Taehyung knows exactly what he wants. He feels the elder’s free hand wind into his hair, and Jungkook lets out a breathy gasp of pleasure into the kiss because he didn’t think that would feel so good.
Jungkook bites down on Taehyung’s bottom lip lightly, and the elder immediately opens his mouth, making Jungkook growl in pleasure. He grabs Taehyung’s chin to hold it in place while he tilts his head and meshes their mouths together, and he feels the elder shiver because the angle gets them so much deeper in each other’s mouths.
Taehyung’s cold fingers play along the hem of Jungkook’s shirt, teasing at the strip of skin exposed by his ministrations. Jungkook thinks that this is definitely different from being felt up by a girl, but he can’t find himself minding as the elder’s hand slips in all the way, thumbing across his coiled abdomen.
Jungkook growls when Taehyung pulls away, but is relieved when the elder only leans back in, mouthing at his jawline, past his earlobes, and panting hotly against the nape of his neck.
“What do you want?” Taehyung asks lowly, the timbre of his voice striking a chord at the base of Jungkook’s spine.
“Kiss me… everywhere,” Jungkook pants, the words spilling from his mouth before he can even think twice, but Taehyung takes the order quickly, ducking his head place wet, open-mouthed kisses along the younger’s neck. His hand untangles from Jungkook’s hair to work at the first few buttons of his dress shirt, and he almost hisses in pleasure as he exposes delicious skin.
His mouth latches onto Jungkook’s collar bone with no hesitation, and he takes to laving his tongue across his chest, leaving rose-colored marks in its wake. Jungkook’s fingers move to Taehyung’s hair to keep him in place, tilting his head back for more exposure, letting out hot little pants of pleasure.
Satisfied with his work, Taehyung lifts his head to kiss Jungkook, who responds with renewed vigor. Taehyung takes the younger’s hands and pulls him closer until he’s flat on the couch, being straddled by Jungkook.
In this new position, Taehyung looks incredibly vulnerable and absolutely gorgeous, and Jungkook can’t recall ever feeling so strongly with anyone in his previous relationships, ever wanting someone so much that all caution, all rational thought goes out the window and all he can think about is where he’s going to put his mouth next.
He swoops down to nip at Taehyung’s neck, rolling his tongue in a way he knows from experience will feel good. He has the satisfaction of feeling a shrudder wrack through Taehyung’s body underneath him, a wanton moan coming out of his swollen, pink mouth.
Jungkook’s hands find themselves underneath Taehyung’s shirt of their own accord, shoving the offending material up so he can admire the toned, tanned muscle underneath that he’s always been so afraid to look at before.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Jungkook groans, leaning down to mouth at Taehyung’s abdomen, tracing the valleys and the dips of the muscles with his nose. He’s never been this close and this hyper-aware of Taehyung, so suddenly he can smell the elder’s cologne, the sharp scents of tomato sauce, and a fruity body wash and no combination has ever smelled so right.
Taehyung pulls Jungkook back up for a toe-curling kiss, arching his back until their chests are pressed tightly together. Jungkook’s arms wind around his waist and keep him close as their tongues swirl in a delirium, both covered in an intoxicating haze of each other and not wanting to pull away.
Jungkook subconsciously rolls his hips, eliciting a loud, choked out moan from Taehyung. The sound tears through an invisible film for Taehyung, and he suddenly becomes aware of the warm tongue in his mouth that isn’t his own, and the firm body pressed against him, straddling his hips.
If this were anyone else, he would have continued on, knowing full well where this would lead. Taehyung wants this, so bad, he wants Jungkook to take him with everything he has, have no mercy on his body, do what he pleased for hours. But not today. Not like this.
His hands slide up Jungkook’s back to cup the younger’s cheeks and moves his mouth along Jungkook’s neck, kissing tenderly on the soft skin.
“We should stop,” he whispers as gently as he can, carding his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. The man above him freezes and pulls his head back in surprise, eyes still glazed over in lust.
“What?” Jungkook mumbles as Taehyung sits himself back up. He takes a moment to admire his handiwork- Jungkook’s crisp button-up is a wrinkled mess, his perfectly styled hair falling over his forehead, his cheeks flushed, lips red and swollen.
“I-I thought you wanted…” Jungkook stammers, heat quickly rising to his cheeks as he clammers to pull himself together again. It feels like he’s been slapped across the face.
He feels a hand curl around his wrist as he furiously tries to button up his shirt, regain some semblance of control that he so stupidly threw out the window. He pauses for a moment to look at Taehyung.
“I want you, Jungkook. So bad. You knew that from the beginning,” Taehyung points out, his voice still thick with lust, and Jungkook gulps, because it’s true, Taehyung has expressed his interest since day one, which is what makes Jungkook so confused.
“But… you’re not ready,” Jungkook blinks, trying to digest the words as the elder continues. “When we’re together, I want you to be absolutely sure of yourself. I don’t want this- us- to be a mistake,”
Taehyung hopes that Jungkook sees where he’s coming from and understand that it’s for the best. It’s also a self-preservation mechanism, if Taehyung is willing to admit it. He doesn’t want to give himself, not just physically, but emotionally, to Jungkook, until he’s sure the younger is going to reciprocate.
“I… understand,” Jungkook says finally. He breathes in deeply, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to pull himself together, because he’s a rational man.
“Thank you, Jungkook,” Taehyung whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the younger’s wrist, and Jungkook feels like his throat is going to close up.
“I should… get going,” Jungkook says, after a pause. He gets up and Taehyung mirrors the motion.
“Of course,” Taehyung responds, following Jungkook to the door like he’s done so many times in the past few weeks. It feels like an old habit, one he doesn’t want to break.
“Hyung,” Jungkook turns toward the elder suddenly. Taehyung raises his eyebrows in expectation as the younger bites his lip, looking cutely hesitant.
“There’s a restaurant opening next week, and I want to try it. Would you like to come with me?”
Like a date? Taehyung wonders, but doesn’t say out loud. If he did, it might spook Jungkook. Instead, he puts on his trademark smile and nods. “I would love to,”
And the shy smile, the spark that’s lit in Jungkook’s eyes makes Taehyung’s self-restraint suddenly worth it, because they have all the time in the world. They have a forever to discover themselves, discover each other, and Taehyung shivers in anticipation. Before he can stop himself, he presses a quick kiss to the corner of Jungkook’s mouth.
The next week blurs by, a whirlwind of work, casual dinners, and stolen kisses that become a habit that’s hard to come to terms with for Jungkook. He doesn’t know when kissing a guy became so nice, or when he found himself craving to be around a male so badly that his thoughts entirely consumed him.
Jungkook feels like he and Taehyung are teetering at the edge of something very dangerous, and one wrong move, one wrong action could send them both over the edge, and it makes Jungkook afraid. Taehyung acts like it’s nothing, that kissing and holding Jungkook isn’t a big deal, and in the back of his mind, he knows it should be, but Taehyung acts like it isn’t, so it’s okay right?
The fact that Taehyung is treating the subject of Jungkook’s confused experimentation so lightly is both relieving and burdening because there are no obligations, but he wonders if the elder wants there to be. That thought scares Jungkook the most.
And yet, he still spends most of his free time with Taehyung, addicted to his presence, and he wonders if maybe he likes the idea of obligation. These thoughts run through his mind constantly, and the dinner he asked Taehyung out to only adds to his nerves.
When the night of the dinner comes, he tries to stall the inevitable, taking his time choosing what he’s going to wear, deciding finally on a pair of dark wash jeans and a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up- to be more casual, and sweeps his brunette hair back into a neat coif.
It’s just Taehyung, Jungkook chastises himself, until he realizes that Taehyung is not just anyone. He doesn’t know how to describe the way he feels… absolute adoration, addiction, lust, but also confusion, helplessness, and the nagging feeling that the things he’s doing, the things he’s feeling are wrong.
But there’s something right about the way Taehyung practically devours Jungkook when he catches sight of the younger at the front of the restaurant. And Jungkook is sure he mirrors the expression, seeing Taehyung dressed up, looking more like a prince than a plebe like Jungkook.
“HI,” Jungkook says breathlessly as he walks up to Taehyung. The elder grins widely and nods in acknowledgement. Jungkook wonders why Taehyung isn’t showing any form of physical affection, then he realizes it’s probably for Jungkook’s benefit. He wouldn’t know what to do if Taehyung held his hand or kissed him in public- that would bring up a whole slew of implications that Jungkook isn’t ready to deal with.
He lets the host take them to their seats, and they settle into the cozy space. The restaurant is bustling around them, and the environment feels warm and open, reminding Jungkook of Taehyung’s house.
There is a candle flickering in the center of the table, meant to create ambience, but Jungkook finds himself distracted by the way the light dances along Taehyung’s jaw, casting shadows on the elder’s face to make him look incredibly alluring.
“This is a nice place,” Taehyung says, taking everything in, the sights, the sounds, the aromas. “You chose well,” he praises, and Jungkook finds himself flushing lightly at the compliment. He wanted to treat Taehyung, after the countless meals, the infinite conversations, and the open mind as Jungkook tries to navigate with this new aspect of himself that he didn’t know existed.
When it comes time to order, Jungkook does it for them, and Taehyung sits back and lets himself bask in the affection.
“I heard your book hit the shelves yesterday,” Jungkook says, sipping at his drink, Taehyung positively beams with pride and nods.
“My manager is thinking about doing a book signing tour,” he concedes. Jungkook raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“Really?” Taehyung nods.
“He doesn’t know how long, but it might be a couple of weeks,” the elder shrugs.
“That’s really great, hyung. I’m so proud of you,” Jungkook grins, and Taehyung feels like his heart has stopped in his chest. Im so proud of you. The words swirl in his mind and there’s something bubbling in his chest, like happiness and affection… but also something he’s never felt before.
Taehyung tries not to look so choked up because of a simple compliment, but he’s never been told that before, not sincerely, by someone he actually cared about. Not like that.
His chest feels tighter, and his eyes sting, but he lets out a breathy laugh instead, trying to relieve some of the pressure.
“Thank you,” he mumbles quietly, casting his eyes down in uncharacteristic bashfulness.
“I really mean it, hyung. You deserve this,” Jungkook links his hand with Taehyung’s over the table and squeezes gently. Taehyung looks up in surprise- this is the first time Jungkook’s shown any public display of affection, and he wonders if this finally something.
Just then, the food comes and Jungkook slips his hand away. Taehyung tries not to pout too much at the loss of warmth and concentrates on the meal in front of him.
There is friendly chatter throughout the meal, Jungkook is excited about a new project commissioned in Thailand, and Taehyung is excited about his book release. Somewhere during the meal, their hands find each other again.
Jungkook fixates on the warm, soft fingers rubbing tender circles in his palm and wonders how holding Taehyung’s hand can feel so nice. He expected it to be awkward but it feels good, it feels right. There’s nothing wrong with this- right?
Everything in Jungkook’s head screams at him that this is wrong, being with a guy is wrong, but whenever he’s near Taehyung, those thoughts seem to disappear and he can’t find himself hesitating. When he’s with Taehyung, it becomes very simple- he wants.
There’s no way to classify the burning lust pooling in his stomach, the fluttering in his chest, the adoration for the elder, the need to just be in his presence. He can’t fit these feelings into the neat little boxes that he wants to. And the thought of it frustrates him.
But in this moment, all he can think about is the soothing movement’s of Taehyung’s thumb against his palm, the warm baritone of his voice, the bright look in his eyes, and how much he wants it.
“Hyung,” Jungkook says suddenly. Taehyung raises his eyebrows in question. Jungkook bites his lip in hesitation until he spurs himself to just get it overwith before he chickens out.
“I… think I’m ready,” he says slowly, rolling each word over his tongue with careful consideration, eyes glued to Taehyung’s to gauge his expression.
“Oh?” The syllable is light, mildly surprised, but very casual, and it highly contradicts the storm that suddenly appears in Taehyung’s eyes. Jungkook wonders if there’s something the elder is not telling him.
“I… want to…” Jungkook clears his throat. “I want to learn more,” he exhales, and he suddenly finds it hard to meet Taehyung’s heated gaze. It seems like an eternity before his expression cools down, dropping into a hooded, seductive smirk.
“Then let me show you,”
Taehyung finds himself being shoved roughly against the door of his bedroom, wrists pinned above him, and Jungkook’s mouth working roughly against his.
For someone who’s never had sex with a guy, he sure does know what he wants, Taehyung thinks as he moans, low and loud as Jungkook’s thigh slips between his legs, pressing down on the very obvious bulge in Taehyung’s pants.
“God, do that again,” Jungkook whispers, the grip on Taehyung’s wrists tightening just slightly in response. Everything about the elder is positively sinful, and Jungkook can’t find himself even trying to hold back.
He lets go of Taehyung’s wrists so he can tear at both of their blazers, tossing them haphazardly across the room before tugging roughly at Taehyung’s tucked dress shirt, working furiously at the buttons because he wants to touch, wants to feel everything.
It feels like an eternity when the shirt is finally undone, revealing Taehyung’s sun-kissed torso, and Jungkook groans, because it’s finally his.
Taehyung makes faster work of Jungkook’s own shirt, and as soon as they’re both free, he grips Jungkook by the hair and pulls him closer, letting out a choked moan as Jungkook kisses sloppily at his collar bone.
He arches his back up as Jungkook swirls his tongue around the dip in this clavicle while dragging his hands down Taehyung’s torso, resting teasingly against the buckle of his belt.
Jungkook rolls his hips forward, brushing his covered length against Taehyung’s and the elder hisses in pleasure.
“Oh, you like that?” Jungkook chuckles darkly, and does it again, slower this time, and smiles against Taehyung’s skin because the noise the elder makes is enough to drive him into a frenzy.
“God yes do that again f-fuck,” Taehyung whimpers as Jungkook repeats the motion, before undoing the belt and unzipping the elder’s pants, shoving the material down in the back just enough so he can cup Taehyung’s ass, giving it a firm squeeze with his hands while both their pelvises forward, increasing the friction.
“Jungkook I s-swear to g-god,” Taehyung stutters, gripping the younger’s biceps with a bruising force, and forcibly pulls them apart.
“I’m going to come like this if you don’t stop,” he warns. He feels Jungkook’s mouth curve into a smirk against his earlobe before he pulls the two of them towards the bed, shoving Taehyung down before discarding with their pants and crawling on top.
He takes a moment to rake his eyes over the elder, and he’s struck by the sheer beauty of Taehyung, the pretty flush on his face, the sex-hooded eyes, the wild orange hair, the perfectly sculpted muscles, down to the dark throbbing member that makes Jungkook’s heart leap into his throat.
Before he can allow himself to freak out because oh god that’s a penis, Taehyung pulls him down into a searing kiss, and a shrudder wracks through his body because Taehyung’s mouth can make him forget everything.
Taehyung pushes his pelvis up, and his member brushes against the younger’s. Jungkook freezes because this is so weird, but it feels incredible, so when Taehyung rolls his hips up again, he pushes down, increasing the pressure, and he tilts his head back and lets out a guttural moan because fuck that feels good.
He leans down to kiss Taehyung again, placing his hands over the elder’s hips, not knowing what he should do next. He doesn’t have to wait long because he feels Taehyung’s hand trail down his chest, his taut stomach, until he’s firmly gripping Jungkook’s hardened length.
The moan Jungkook lets out is nothing less than sinful, so Taehyung, thoroughly encouraged, pumps his hand up and down Jungkook’s dick, and watches carefully as sweat begins to form on the younger’s forehead, his mouth open from panting, and shoulders tensed from the pleasure.
“W-what fuck what-t the f-uck,” Jungkook mutters as Taehyung snaps his wrist expertly, and it feels like every nerve in his body is suddenly responding to that one source stimulation, and it feels so fucking good. He realizes that if it feels this mindbendingly fantastic for him, it must feel good for Taehyung too, but he’s hesitant because he’s never touched anyone’s dick besides his own.
“Will you touch me too?” Taehyung asks, his eyes searing and Jungkook gulps, because fuck he’ll do anything for that look and pushes away the uncertainty to curl his fingers around Taehyung’s member, and god this is fucked up but more than anything, it feels strangely nice, especially when he presses his thumb into the slit and Taehyung arches off the bed, a string of expletives.
The sounds are encouraging, and the pleasure from Taehyung’s hand on his dick courses through him, making him suddenly bold.
“What do I do next?” Jungkook mumbles, the need to get as close to Taehyung as he possibly can overwhelming him. It takes Taehyung a moment to register the words because his mind is clouded from being so thoroughly wrecked that he’s forgotten that this is Jungkook’s first time… With a guy, anyway.
“You have… to work me… open,” Taehyung pants out, and watches as Jungkook’s face morphs into one of confusion. Taehyung sits up and reaches for Jungkook’s right hand to bring it up to his face. With a hooded look, he puts three of the fingers in his mouth, and rolls his tongue around them, sucking and lathering them, watching as alarm and pleasure fly across Jungkook’s face.
“W-what-” Before Jungkook can finish the sentence, Taehyung pops the digits out with a lewd pop and brings them to his puckered entrance.
Taehyung leans back on one of his forearms and props his knees up for a better angle before taking one of Jungkook’s digits and pressing it inside him. Jungkook lets out a strangled noise in surprise and tenses to remove himself, but Taehyung’s grip on his fingers holds him there.
The elder makes sure to hold the finger still, and it only takes him a few moments to adjust before he adds another digit and moves them around, massaging at his walls, and he keeps his eyes trained on Jungkook who watches with fascination as his fingers disappear into the hole.
“Let me do it,” Jungkook growls, voice thick with need, and Taehyung removes his hand, letting Jungkook have free reign. He gulps as he slips in a third finger, and it engulfs itself in Taehyung’s tight heat. The feeling is so foreign, and a little bit frightening, but he concentrates on the little sounds Taehyung is making, his head tilted back in bliss.
He wiggles his fingers experimentally, curling them towards his stomach, and he smirks in satisfaction when Taehyung’s stomach coils and his forearm shakes. Jungkook straightens his digits and then repeats the curling motion, the pads of the fingers brushing on the elder’s prostate.
“Shit t-that’s-” Taehyung babbles and his forearm finally gives in, his body falling back against the mattress in a soft thud.
“J-jungkook, there’s l-lube in the drawer,” Taehyung stutters, pointing to the nightstand. Jungkook pulls out his fingers to reach over for the bottle, and uncaps it.
“Why did you suck my fingers if you had lube this whole time?” Jungkook asks incredulously, lathering his cock generously.
“I just wanted to suck you off,” Taehyung laughs, but the smile doesn’t fully reach his eyes before he’s letting out a loud, drawn out moan as Jungkook’s hilt teases at his entrance.
He grips the younger’s arm and bites his lip. “You need to go slowly at first, okay?” he warns, and Jungkook nods before slipping inside.
Jungkook can feel his heart hammering in his chest, because this is it. This is the point of no return, and in this position, there’s no fucking way he’s backing out.
Heading Taehyung’s warning, he pushes himself inside slowly, and he lets out a gasp, because having his fingers inside Taehyung elicits a completely different response from having his dick inside Taehyung.
Huffing out a breath, he furrows his brows in concentration, trying so hard not to simply ram his hips into Taehyung like his body is begging him to do. So he inches himself into the tight heat, taking deep breaths in an effort to control himself.
Taehyung’s hand snakes around one of his wrists and leads it his neglected member. Jungkook strokes at it, biting his lip as he tries to concentrate on pleasuring Taehyung while also not ramming himself into him.
It’s been months since he last had sex and in this moment it shows as Taehyung’s walls tighten around his length, shooting raw, hot pleasure up Jungkook’s spine cracking at his self-restraint.
“God Jungkook please,” Taehyung hisses, and Jungkook takes it as a signal to move faster. Once he’s fully inside Taehyung, he takes a moment to rock himself inside, massaging Taehyung’s most sensitive places before pulling out. He checks Taehyung’s expression for any indication of hurt, but only sees his face thrown back in ecstasy. The look on its own threatens to undo Jungkook, but he focuses himself.
Jungkook leans in to capture Taehyung’s mouth in his before sliding himself back inside. He swallows all of Taehyung’s choked moans, breathing the sounds as if they were his air, and and pulls out again.
“Faster,” Taehyung mumbles against his mouth, his wandering hands tugging at Jungkook’s hair. “Please,” he begs, and that single world makes Jungkook snap. As if the flood-gates have finally opened, Jungkook rams his full length into Taehyung, and the elder arches against his chest.
Jungkook uses the angle to wrap his hands around Taehyung’s waist and pull him up, giving him better leverage as he pounds his length inside. He switches his hips, searching for that spot, the one that he knows will unravel Taehyung, and after a minute of experimenting, Taehyung lets out an erotic cry of pleasure, and Jungkook knows he’s found it.
He pulls up Taehyung onto his lap, the elder’s legs wrapped around his torso while he uses this new position to sink in even further. Jungkook pushes his hips upward, and Taehyung meets his thrusts, his hands tangled in Jungkook’s hair.
In this position Jungkook mouths at Taehyung’s chest, his lips sucking at a nipple and his tongue tweaking the sensitive bud. Taehyung presses himself closer at that, and Jungkook’s hands tighten around his ass, almost forcing the elder’s hips harder against his.
“Oh god Jungkook baby please right there right there,” Taehyung moans over and over again like a mantra because he’s having all coherency literally fucked out of him. He tears Jungkook away from his chest and forces their mouths together, tongues swirling wildly, lips moving sloppily with no real intention other than to bring each other closer.
Jungkook can feel them approaching the end, so he rocks himself forward until he’s lying back on top of Taehyung, slamming his hips inside a few more times until they come, almost in unison, shivering as white-hot orgasms course through their bodies, rendering both of them immobile.
It takes a while for both of them to catch their breaths, and Jungkook pulls out of Taehyung slowly, the elder hissing as Jungkook’s member rubs against his sensitive entrance and lays down next him. Both men stare up at the dark ceiling, still not quite able to form coherent words as the buzz of sex simmers around them.
It’s Taehyung who speaks first. “How was that? Did you learn something new?” There’s nothing teasing about the elder’s voice, nothing serious, but Jungkook finds himself blushing form head to toe because he just fucked a guy. And he really really liked it. Taehyung gets up from the bed to retrieve towels to clean themselves off.
“Y-yes?” Jungkook’s voice turns up at the end and it comes out more of a question than an answer. Because now, he’s got more questions than answers. This was supposed to help him figure things out, but now he’s just left more confused. He accepts the towel Taehyung offers him, and blushes at how stark-naked the elder is, walking around the room in his full glory, completely unabashed.
Taehyung seats himself next to Jungkook and looks him deeply. “Yes as in yes, I liked it and I want to do it again, or yes, I hated it and I never want to do it again?”
Jungkook opens his mouth to respond until the high-pitched ring of his cell phone cuts through the air, making them both jump.
Jungkook gets up, cursing as he scours the room for his pants, and digs out the phone when he finds it. He swears that if it’s Seokjin calling in to check up on him, he’s never going to hear the end of it.
“Imma, guess what?!” Jungkook’s mother screeches through the phone. He cringes and pulls the device away from his ear momentarily. He shoots Taehyung an apologetic look.
“What is it, omma?” Jungkook asks, trying not to sound too irritated, because can’t this wait for tomorrow?
“So I was in my sewing club, and one of my friends mentioned that she has a daughter around your age! Her name is Hye Mi, and she’s a doctor. A doctor, Jungkook! And she lives in your area too! I arranged for you two to meet at….”
Jungkook doesn’t register the rest because he suddenly feels like a bucket of ice water has been poured down on him, shattering the carefully constructed reality around him to reveal the truth.
I can’t be gay, Jungkook thinks frantically. I’m not gay. He wonders what his mother would think if he were to suddenly say that he liked guys. The poor woman would probably have a heart attack.
No no no no no, what have I done? Jungkook wonders when he realized that he just had sex with a guy. No no no no no, this isn’t happening.
Taehyung gets up, noticing the younger’s panic-stricken gaze when he ends the call.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Taehyung coos, caressing Jungkook’s cheeks softly, trying to ease the younger’s worry lines. Jungkook recoils from the touch, stumbling back a step.
“Is everything okay?” Taehyung asks, softer this time as Jungkook looks around wildly, messily grabbing at his clothes.
“I-I have to g-go,” Jungkook stammers, throwing on his shirt haphazardly. Taehyung pushes away the sudden hurt in his chest to put a gentle arm on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“What’s going on, baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me,” Taehyung murmurs desperately. His eyes sting when Jungkook steps out of his touch.
“I- This- We can’t do this anymore,” Jungkook stutters, looking everywhere and anywhere but Taehyung.
“What? Baby, Jungkook, tell me what’s wrong. We can fix this, I want to help-”
“Don’t call me baby,” Jungkook hisses in irritation, but his face softens as Taehyung flinches, stepping back as though he’s been slapped across the face. “Please don’t call me that. I c-can’t… think,”
“Jungkook, please tell me what’s-”
“We can’t see each other anymore, Taehyung,” Jungkook says, his voice firm. Taehyung feels like his throat is closing up. He can’t breathe.
“Whatever this is, Jungkook, we can work-”
“I don’t want to see you anymore,” Jungkook reiterates, with a tone of finality. “I’m sorry,” he adds softly, before he turns and walks out, leaving Taehyung standing there dumbfounded. It’s not until he hears the door slam closed that he realizes Jungkook is gone.
Jungkook is really gone.
Thousands of feelings course through him, feelings of abandonment, self-loathing, self-pity, anxiety, and most importantly, the dull ache of emptiness that he had grown so accustomed to before Jungkook had filled him up.
He searches his dark room wildly, looking for his own phone before dialing the number he knows almost by heart. He needs something, anything to remove the ache, no matter for how long.
When he hears the familiar voice on the end of the line, he almost sobs in relief.
“Jimin, are you free tonight?”
The noises of a busy restaurant clatters around Jungkook, and he tries to focus on cutting into his steak instead of looking at the girl sitting across from him.
He doesn’t know why he agreed to this meetup. He refuses to call it a date, because something about it feels so wrong.
Because it’s not with Taehyung.
He cringes because he can’t go a minute without thinking about Taehyung, the image of his heartbroken expression branded into his mind. Jungkook is so filled with self-loathing, he can’t think.
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
“Not really. The only time I usually talk is when I’m ordering people around,”
“Oh, I like the sound of that,”
His head snaps up and Hye Mi smiles at him. He sighs, because she really is a beautiful girl, pleasant to be around, ridiculously intelligent. Most- his mother included- would consider them a perfect match, but whenever Jungkook imagines his perfect match, all he can think about is Taehyung and his warm smile, his home cooked meals, the hours they spent talking, the beautiful, delicate friendship they forged that Jungkook so quickly shattered to pieces.
He thinks back to the past week, how blatantly Taehyung had been ignoring him. He supposes the elder has a right to be angry, since Jungkook had been so cold. Nevertheless, Jungkook misses Taehyung so much, it makes him ache everywhere.
“No, I don’t,” Jungkook smiles apologetically, and casts his head down.
“It’s alright. You seem like you have a lot on your mind,” she says, eyes knowing. Jungkook sighs.
“I suppose so,” he shrugs, placing a piece of meat into his mouth. He chews robotically. Nothing seems to have a taste anymore.
“It seems like both of us don’t really want to be here then,” Jungkook snaps his head up and gapes. Hye Mi grins.
“It’s not- I mean, you’re a lovely girl-” Jungkook scrambles to apologize, but Hye Mi cuts him off.
“I’m in a relationship with someone already,” she admits. Jungkook flushes with relief.
“And it looks like you’re in one too,” she guesses, smiling intuitively.
“I’m not- I think I screwed up,” Jungkook says, frowning down at his plate.
“Me too. I haven’t been completely honest to the people around me,” Hye Mi shakes her head and sighs. Jungkook shifts uncomfortably, because this sounds an awful lot like his own situation.
“I came because my mother wanted me to. She keeps trying to set me up, and I just don’t have the courage to tell the poor woman that I’m not into guys,”
Jungkook coughs in surprise, his mouth hanging open at the woman’s daring confession. “You…”
“Yes, I’m a lesbian, and I’m damn proud of it. I’m just… afraid of what my family will do,”
It takes a moment for the words to register in his mind, his head reeling at the startling irony of the situation.
“But, for now, I have Min Ah, and she makes me really happy. I know that no matter what happens, we’ll have each other, and that’s enough for me,” Hye Mi says nonchalantly. Jungkook is amazed at the level of confidence she has in herself, her sexuality.
“What about what people will think?” Jungkook asks, frowning. "Aren't you worried?"
Hye Mi shrugs. “The people who define you by who you love don’t deserve the time of day. I’ve learned rather quickly who will and who won’t accept me, and ultimately, the only person whose acceptance you need is your own,”
Jungkook purses his lips, trying to absorb the words, turning them over in his head. The rest of dinner goes by more smoothly now that neither of them are keeping up pretenses, and Jungkook drives home with Hye Mi’s advice running through his mind.
The only person whose acceptance you need is your own.
Pulling up into his driveway, Jungkook sighs. It can’t be that easy. It just simply couldn’t. And even if it were, it wouldn’t matter. He severed his relationship with the only person who he ever wanted to share himself with.
He storms into his house, ripping at his tie, and raids his alcohol cabinet.
It’s not that easy.
I’m a monster.
I said I was ready.
Taehyung trusted me.
With every thought, Jungkook pours himself another glass of whiskey, hissing at the burning in his throat, but nothing compares to the burning in his chest, the one he created, the one he imposed on himself.
Within 30 minutes, Jungkook is significantly inebriated, and his head lolls on his kitchen table.
Damn it, Kim Taehyung.
Jungkook’s head jerks up and he hears a car turning into Taehyung’s driveway. He drags himself to the window and draws open the curtain just in time to see Taehyung stumble out of the passenger seat of an unfamiliar car. A small, pale brunette emerges from the other side, and Taehyung practically launches himself onto the stranger.
Jungkook feels his heart seize as Taehyung kisses the man fervently, tugging at his clothes as they both stumble towards his door. He feels himself filling up with rage, his eyesight tinged red with jealousy, hurt, surprise.
He knows he shouldn’t be reacting this way. He lost that right when he had left Taehyung that night, saying cruel things and not turning back. He wants to wind back the clock to a time when he was the one Taehyung was looking at, but he destroyed that, and the thought of it makes him go mad.
When he hears Taehyung’s door slam closed, something snaps in him, and he pushes aside all rationality, throwing his door open, and storming across the yard to Taehyung’s.
He pounds on the front door, seething with anger, and when Taehyung opens the door, he’s half-naked, eyes clouded in lust and confusion, with that stupid brunette clinging onto him.
“Jungkook?” Taehyung chokes out, and before he can register anything else, Jungkook has the brunette by the wrist and shoves him out of the house.
“Don’t come back,” Jungkook growls, before slamming the door behind him.
He shoves Taehyung against the door and grips him by the shoulders.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jungkook hisses, and Taehyung finally registers the situation. Enraged, he shoves Jungkook away, and the younger stumbles back.
“What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m living my life,” he spits out, face turning red, and Jungkook gapes, because he’s never seen Taehyung so angry.
“I don’t like you sleeping around like that! I hated it before all of this, and I sure as hell hate it now,” Jungkook says, seething jealousy buidling up in his chest as he remembers the countless men Taehyung used to take home. They had stopped when he and Jungkook started getting closer, and Jungkook doesn’t know how to handle the idea of Taehyung sleeping around.
“You have no right to tell me what to do, Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung seethes, stabbing a finger at Jungkook’s chest. “You lost that right the moment you decided I wasn’t important enough to you,”
“Why do you sleep around like this? Why do you do that to yourself?” Jungkook steps closer, voice agitated, desperate, and possessive.
“Because I can. Obviously, you think I’m some sort of whore. Just bang and leave, right? I don’t have feelings, I just want quick fucks. Is that why you’re here, Jungkook? For a quick fuck? Want to experiment again? I’m pretty good for that stuff, right? You’re in the middle of some fucking sexualtiy crisis so emotions don’t really matter right? I don’t matter to you!”
Somewhere in the middle of Taehyung’s rant, the elder has pressed himself against Jungkook, and now he’s pounding weakly at Jungkook’s chest, tears streaming down his face.
“No, I’m not finished. I was there for you. I wanted to help you. I wanted you. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life and in the back of my mind, I thought if I gave you what you wanted, you would realize you had feelings for me too,” Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, taking a deep breath and leaning his head back in an attempt to stop the tears.
“I’m so stupid, right? I was stupid to think that you magically fall in love with me just because we had sex,”
Jungkook’s heart stops as the last words spill from the elder’s mouth. Gaping stupidly, he stumbles for words. “Love, Taehyung? I didn’t know-”
“Of course you didn’t know, Jungkook! How could you? You were so focused on being confused, you forgot that I had feelings too,”
Jungkook feels like each word is a slap across his face, and they sting, not only because of their harshness, but also because of their truth.
“I just… You were always sleeping around… I thought-”
“You thought it was just a casual thing? You live next door, Jungkook. How many of my casual fucks do I cook dinner for? How many of those men have stayed over just to talk for hours, how many of those people know me?”
Taehyung’s eyes are red and puffy, his voice worn out, and Jungkook feels like his heart is splintering.
“I thought you knew me, Jungkook. I thought you knew how I felt!” Taehyung grips Jungkook, and before the younger can register anything, he’s being pulled into a crushing kiss. He gasps in surprise as Taehyung’s lips move angrily over his. He can taste the tears, taste the heartbreak, taste everything, and he’s never felt so damn lost.
“I gave you everything I had,” Taehyung whispers, pulling away.
“Why?” Jungkook pleads, mind clouded. He’s grappling to understand how suddenly, things became so emotional so quickly.
“Because I’m in love with you, you big fat idiot,” Taehyung cries out, and shoves Jungkook away. The younger stumbles back again, unable wrap him mind around the confession.
Love? How can he be in love with me?
How can he be so sure?
Who would fall in love with me?
“Taehyung, how can you be so sure of that?” Jungkook asks, voice strained. Taehyung winces.
“Because unlike some people, I’m actually aware of my feelings, and I don’t question them every moment of every damn day,” His voice gets louder, and Jungkook gulps.
“I know how I feel. But you obviously don’t,”
“I think you need to leave, Jungkook,” Taehyung says, voice drained, eyes dark. Jungkook opens his mouth to say something, anything, but Taehyung cuts him off. “Leave, Jungkook,”
“When you’ve figured things out, let me know”
“You look like shit,”
Jungkook drags his hands down his face to glare at Seokjin. He had closed his eyes for a second. I just need a moment.
“What’s it to you?” Jungkook snarls, and Seokjin gapes at the younger’s feral tone, noting that despite his usual polished look, he looks like he’s fraying at the edges. There are bags under his eyes, his face seems thinner, and there’s a black cloud shrouding him and people are starting to notice.
“... Jungkook. What’s going on with you?” Seokjin asks desperately, sliding into the seat across from the younger and leaning closer, worry painted all over his face.
Jungkook’s face softens apologetically, and he bites his lip. He considers Seokjin his best friend, but Jungkook hasn’t told him anything about what has been going for the last month and a half.
“You’ve been acting so strange ever since you moved here. You never talk to me anymore,” Jungkook swallows painfully because it’s true- the guilt is threatening to eat him up.
“Talk to me, Jungkook,”
“Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s wrong. Whatever is going on we can fix-”
“I dont want to see you anymore,”
The memory threatens to eat at Jungkook, every second of that moment burned an angry red into his brain and he can’t make himself forget the broken look in Taehyung’s eyes, the tender arm on his shoulder, the sharp sting in his own chest as he forced out those disgusting words.
I’m a monster.
“Jungkook…” Seokjin tries again, watching as a flurry of emotions play across the younger’s face as he stares into his desk, eyebrows furrowed.
“Huh? Oh… sorry hyung,” Jungkook gulps.
“I’m serious, Jungkook. What the hell is happening to you? You’re zoning out during work, you never smile anymore, people are starting to talk. They’re wondering if the business prodigy’s finally cracked under the pressure,”
Jungkook winces because this is not what I wanted. He’d tried so hard to build a sound reputation, to keep the company together, and now he’s failing at everything.
It’s all Taehyung’s fault, he thinks bitterly, but the thought crumbles the moment it manifests, because no, it’s my own fault.
“I just…” Jungkook sighs, and there is a sting at the back of his eyes, so he rubs at them furiously.
“I gave you everything I had!”
“When youu’ve figured things out, let me know,”
“I fucked up really badly, hyung,” he lets out breathlessly, and saying it out loud makes the realization more crushing and overwhelming, and he can’t believe how much of an idiot he is.
Seokjin frowns in concern. “It can’t have been that bad. You’re Jeon Jungkook, for gods sake,”
His mind replays the scene at Taehyung’s house, the confession, the anger, the tears, and how he had been so blindsided by everything. He still doesn’t know what to think.
Jungkook wants to burst out into hysterical laughter because yes, he’s Jeon Jungkook, math prodigy, business genius, and now also grade A asshole who should be banished to the depths of hell for eternity.
“I haven’t been completely… forthcoming with you, hyung,” Jungkook says slowly instead, once he feels like he has a hold on the rage and self-loathing swirling in his chest.
“I know. Maybe if you stopped being such a recluse and talked to me I could help you,” Seokjin chastises, and Jungkook sighs. How do I explain how royally I fucked up?
“So, there’s this… person,”
“Oh… Oh! Oh!” Seokjin sits up straighter and leans forward, balancing is chin on his hands and eyes sparkling with renewed interest.
“It’s not like that,” Jungkook sighs, then pauses. Is it like that? When one single person consumes your thoughts, when you crave their touch, their smile, their laughter, and you replay every moment with them in your head, is it like that?
“Oh, hell yes it is,” Seokjin scoffs, and Jungkook gulps. “You don’t look like a kicked puppy over some stranger. This is obviously very important to you,”
“I just… I’ve been so confused, and then we had sex and it was mindblowing and fantastic and then my mom called and I freaked out and I told him we can’t see each other again,” Jungkook’s words tumble out suddenly, and he buries his face in his hands, feeling more like a child as the moments pass.
“Wait wait wait… Him?!” Seokjin screeches, slamming his hands on the table, and Jungkook holds his breath because he doesn’t know how Seokjin will react now that everything is out in the open.
“You told him you couldn’t see each other?!” Seokjin’s voice increases in pitch, and Jungkook sees a raw fury in the elder’s eyes that he’s never seen before. He would be afraid if he wasn’t so relieved that Seokjin hadn’t fixated on the fact that Jungkook had basically come out to him.
“Hyung, be quiet!” Jungkook hisses, and looks around panicked, hoping no one in the office could hear that outburst.
“I’m sorry I just… I knew you were antisocial but I didn’t know you were an asshole,” Seokjin scoffs and leans back in his chair, arms crossed, mouth turned down in a frown.
“Do you think I don’t already know that?” Jungkook hisses, swivelling his chair until he’s facing the window. He can’t bear to see Seokjin look so disappointed in him.
“What’s his name?” Seokjin asks, voice calmer and face softer once he notices the younger’s visible distraught.
“... Taehyung,” Jungkook says after a moment.
“You mean like… Kim Taehyung? Like, the famous author Kim Taehyung?” Seokjin asks incredulously, and Jungkook’s head snaps to face the elder because how does he know that?
“How did you know that?”
Seokjin snorts. “Everyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows who Kim Taehyung is,”
Jungkook cringes, because although he knew Taehyung was famous, he didn’t know the extent of the fame, and now he feels even more foolish. He wasn’t thinking. Why do I never think when I’m around Taehyung?
“Wow, you fucked a celebrity,” Seokjin says, amazed. “How the hell did you manage to rope him in?”
Jungkook cringes. “Don’t say that. We didn’t…”
“Oh, you didn’t fuck? What did you do? Make love?”
The words feel like he's being branded, white hot and his skin feels like he's burning, and now his heart is racing and his throat is closing up.
“No!” Jungkook makes a choked sound in the back of his throat and cards his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“I just… I was confused, okay? I… He just looked so beautiful and I didn’t know what I was thinking. I said I was ready when I wasn’t but I just wanted him so badly I didn’t stop to think, all I knew was that I wanted to touch him and kiss him and-”
Jungkook’s head makes a thud on the oak desk, and he can’t find the willpower to sit up straight.
“And then after you fucked you told him you didn’t want to see him again?” Seokjin asks, his voice flat, disappointed, quietly furious.
“Even though you definitely want to touch him and kiss him again?”
Seokjin sighs, and Jungkook scrambles to redeem himself. “But my omma called and she started talking about setting me up with this girl and I… panicked,”
“Because you were afraid of what your mother would think of you if she knew you were in a relationship with a guy?”
“I’m not in a relation-”
“But you want to be,”
“I…” Jungkook stops to think about it. He wants Taehyung, physically, emotionally, in every way he can think conceive and more, and it tears him apart that he is the reason for the pain and suffering, he created this mess.
And he’s a grown man. He shouldn’t be afraid of what people will think. Even if his mother disapproves, he has a right to be happy. A right to be himself.
“Yeah… hyung. Yeah, I do,”
Roses are supposed to be a source of calm for Taehyung. He finds their beauty entrancing, their scent subtly romantic.
But they all have thorns, he thinks bitterly as he snips at the rose bushes delicately with his small garden shears. Like roses, humans have thorns, and if you get too close, if you become to bewitched by the beauty, too dizzied by the scent, they’ll make you bleed.
Taehyung huffs a breath, trying to suck back the tears pooling in his eyes. It’s been a week since their fight and it the hollow in his chest still aches, still makes him feel like he can’t breathe.
Taehyung wants to be angry with Jungkook. He wants to be furious and curse him and never see him again, but in the end, Taehyung doesn’t blame Jungkook. Not one bit. He blames himself for weaving himself a web he knew he would get trapped in. He knew Jungkook was confused, wasn’t ready, but chose to ignore it. He was blinded by lust, and perhaps something more, and put himself out there to the point that there was no going back. And Taehyung has never been a person to hold grudges. He knows something triggered Jungkook, he knows the younger was spooked. It doesn't lessen the sting of the words, but it makes the pain more bearable.
He had destroyed himself, systematically, letting himself get caught up in Jungkook’s subtle charms, the restrained smile, the lull of his voice, the way he had looked at Taehyung in a way no other person every had, and he had fallen. Hard. How could he not? Jungkook was nothing less than perfection. Brooding and mysterious, always so polished, always so polite, it was too easy to fall for him, too easy to fall in love with Jeon Jungkook.
And in the end, he was still in love with Jeon Jungkook, whether he wanted to be or not. Something about the man had drawn Taehyung to him physically, but everything else made them connect emotionally in a way Taehyung and never experienced. He was so sure of his feelings, he forgot that Jungkook might not feel the same way.
It’s not something Taehyung is used to, waiting. Waiting for the right moment, waiting for feelings to blossom into something so startlingly real, waiting for a person to come to terms with themselves, come to terms with someone else.
Taehyung throws his sheers down in frustration. The one thing that made him feel at peace was now contaminated with thoughts of Jungkook, and now Taehyung doesn’t know what to do. All he does is think about Jungkook, think about the hurt. The hurt he inflicted on himself.
Taehyung makes to get up from where he is sitting next to the flowers, but pauses when he hears Jungkook’s back door opening. He berates himself for being in this position, because he doesn’t want to make himself known, but he doesn’t want to sit and be this close to Jungkook.
“Yes, omma, I met Hye Mi last week,” Taehyung freezes as Jungkook’s cool baritone carries across the hedges connecting their backyards, and closes his eyes, because as much as he wishes it weren’t true, he is still very much affected by that voice.
“She was nice omma,” Jungkook says in a clipped tone. Taehyung’s stomach swirls with seething jealousy, and he can’t believe it. He has no right to feel jealous. He has no right to Jungkook.
“No, I’m not going to see her again,” In an instant the burning in Taehyung’s chest evaporates and he wants to let out a sigh, but he doesn’t because it would give him away. He hates acting like he’s spying because he’s not. He's in a difficult position, and now it’s becoming more difficult with each passing moment.
“Because I don’t want to, omma. I’m a grown man, I can make my own decisions,” Jungkook’s voice is terse, strained, and Taehyung almost feels bad for the younger, because he knows how overbearing Jungkook’s mother can be. Taehyung would almost envy it if not for the fact that Jungkook always seemed so strung out because of it.
“No, I won’t go on any more of those dates, omma,”
“I… met someone,” Jungkook says hesitantly, and Taehyung finds himself holding his breath, eyes widening, because is this it?
“He is the most perfect human being I have ever met,” The words make Taehyung's insides melt, and he curses himself, because how can I be so weak? But it's Jungkook, and Taehyung would do anything for Jungkook, even if that meant getting terribly hurt in the process.
“Yes, omma, he,”
“No, I’m not joking,”
He hears Jungkook sighing, the way he always does when he’s frustrated or upset, and Taehyung bites his lip to prevent himself from making a noise.
“You don’t have to approve, omma. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions about my life,”
“Yes, I know,”
“I’ll give you some time, omma,”
“Bye,” Jungkook ends the call with a shaky voice, and Taehyung keeps a hand clamped over his mouth because he’s almost sobbing, his head swirling with confusion and hope and anger and frustration, and pride, because Jungkook has finally grown a backbone and decided what he wants.
He is so incredibly proud, and relieved, but he’s still hurting, and a phone call he accidentally overheard isn’t going to make up for the harsh words or the tears or the heartbreak.
Taehyung knows Jungkook needs time. Time to settle into himself, into the realization of who he is, what he wants. What he wants out of Taehyung.
And Taehyung needs time too. To figure out whether he really wants to dive headfirst into Jungkook, give him everything, and expect to be able to take just as much. They both need to be away from each other for a while.
So he takes a deep breath and adjusts Hobi in one arm and reaches out to knock on Jungkook’s door with the other.
He holds his breath and counts the seconds in his head. It takes 10 seconds for Jungkook to open the door, looking completely wrecked and a little bit drunk.
It takes 10 more for them to stop staring at each other, for Taehyung to finally remember what he originally came here for and open his mouth.
“Hi,” is all that comes out. Mentally, Taehyung cringes, because he has to be strong, he can’t act foolish. He’s already done it enough to last a lifetime.
Jungkook doesn’t respond, he simply gapes at Taehyung, and the elder wonders whether this is all some big mistake, whether he’s overstepping his boundaries. Does Jungkook even want to see him right now?
“I…” Taehyung clears his throat and looks down at Hobi, remembering his purpose in being here in the first place.
“So I’m leaving tomorrow,” Taehyung says slowly, and scrambles to explain when Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise.
“For my book tour, I mean. I just....” Taehyung takes a deep breath. “I need someone to take care of Hobi while I’m gone, and he obviously likes you best so…”
“You want me to watch Hobi while you’re gone?” Jungkook asks slowly, eyes falling to the kitten curled in Taehyung’s arms and back to the man’s face, still looking confused.
“It’s just a month, not forever. I mean, only if you want. If not I can ask-”
“No, it’s fine,” Jungkook says quickly, cheeks dusted a light pink, and Taehyung wonders whether this is a good idea.
Jungkook reaches out, and Hobi wiggles out of Taehyung’s arms and into the open arms, settling quickly into Jungkook’s embrace.
“I hope it’s not too much trouble…”
Jungkook shakes his head quickly. “No, I don’t mind,” He clears his throat. “He lives here half the time anyway,” He tries to smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Alright then,” Taehyung steps back, off the porch, and stuffs his hands back into his pockets. “I’ll see you later,” He turns quickly to walk back.
“Taehyung,” Jungkook calls. The elder turns his head, heart in his throat.
A month passes and every day goes by so painfully slowly, but Jungkook is grateful because he needs every second to sort himself out. For himself, and for Taehyung.
He knows that putting Hobi in his care was Taehyung’s way of trying to make peace, of trying to salvage what little of their relationship he could, and it hurt to imagine how much courage the elder had to have to even speak to Jungkook again.
Jungkook knows that the least Taehyung deserves is a sincere apology and an explanation, a boundary for their relationship. The younger feels like he must have shattered any hope of pursuing a romantic relationship, but he still wants to be around Taehyung, even as a friend. As selfish as the thought is, Jungkook hopes Taehyung will let him back into his life.
He finds himself missing Taehyung, missing his cooking, his laughter, his lively conversation that fills the gaps where Jungkook cannot, and the safety he feels, the safety to feel what he wants to feel, be who he wants to be, without any judgement.
He wanted to help me, and I ended up breaking him instead.
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Jungkook asks Hobi, currently curled in his arms. The kitten yawns in response, revealing terribly small canines and a pink tongue, and Jungkook is a bit enamoured.
“Probably not, right. Who would?” Before the orange kitten can formulate another non-committal response, the doorbell rings, and Jungkook seizes up, heart kicking into double time because Taehyung’s here.
He runs his hands through his hair as he walks to the door, and it reminds him of the first time Taehyung knocks on his door. He laughs when he remembers how he insisted on not grooming because it’s just Taehyung, but how quickly just Taehyung became one of the most important people in his life.
Jungkook opens the door and even the most clear of memories can actually compare to the ethereal beauty of Taehyung, both inside and out. Even after a month, Jungkook still catches his breath, still finds himself at a loss for words, stumbling over himself like he’s in elementary school, except this is so much more real, so much more important.
“Hi!” Taehyung’s blocky smile threatens to knock the wind out of Jungkook, his voice filling him and making him feel light, carefree. It feels so different than the screaming, the crying, the broken voice relaying heavy words that Jungkook wasn’t ready to hear.
But he’s ready now.
Jungkook manages a small smile and mumbles a quick “Hello, hyung,” before inviting him inside. Hobi scampers towards Taehyung immediately, and the elder quickly stoops down to sweep the kitten into his arms and coo.
“I hope he didn’t bother you too much,” Taehyung says, his smile smaller, but still bright and genuine and god did Jungkook miss that smile.
“Not at all, he’s good company,” Jungkook says, and immediately regrets it because wow that sounds so stupid, but Taehyung laughs and Jungkook doesn’t mind anymore.
“How was your trip?” Jungkook asks, bringing out a glass of water to Taehyung who accepts it and sits on the couch.
“It was great,” Taehyung says, and Jungkook nods. The men sit in silence for a bit, and Jungkook realizes that it’s now or never. He will never get another opportunity to apologize, so he takes a deep breath and pushes forward.
“Taehyung, I’m sorry,” he starts. “I can come up with a million excuses but it won’t matter because in the end, it hurt you, and you will never know how sorry-”
“I forgive you,” Taehyung says softly, eyes warm. Jungkook reels back.
“You… forgive me?” He rolls over the words, analyzing them, breaking them down into bits, trying to understand, trying to comprehend how Taehyung could be so quick to accept his apology.
Taehyung nods. “It was both our faults, I think. You weren’t ready, and I was too head-over-heels to think that you were. I suppose I just wanted to have you, ignoring the potential repercussions of it,”
Jungkook stares at the elder, wide-eyed. “How can you even think about blaming yourself for this?” he hisses, cupping Taehyung’s face, his eyes searing into the elder’s.
“How can you be so kind to me? I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” Jungkook mutters. Taehyung’s eyes turn dark.
“Then make it up to me,” he whispers, and Jungkook is suddenly aware of how close they are, how his hands caress Taehyung’s face. He begins to pull his hands away, but Taehyung grabs his wrists, holding his hands in place.
“What-” Jungkook mumbles breathlessly.
“If you’re sorry, show me how sorry you are. Tell me,” Taehyung’s voice sounds almost authoritative, and Jungkook shivers.
“I want you, Taehyung,” Jungkook mumbles, thumbing at Taehyung’s cheekbone. The elder shakes his head.
“Want isn’t enough anymore Jungkook,”
The younger gulps, because isn’t this what he’s been thinking about this whole time? Isn’t he finally getting a chance to say what he’s been dying to say?
“I want to love you, Taehyung. I want to show you everything I can do for you, I want to do everything for you. I want to be someone worthy of your love,”
“You’ve always been the stronger one, the one putting yourself out there for me, the one getting hurt because of me. Now I want to be the strong one. I want to put myself out there. For you,”
“I want to be with you, in every possible way,”
There is silence, save for the roaring in Jungkook’s ears, and he searches Taehyung’s eyes for something, anything.
“Are you sure?” Taheyung asks shakily after a moment. Jungkook takes a deep breath.
“More sure than I’ve ever been in my entire life,”
They stare at each other for what seems like ages, Taehyung’s eyes brimming with tears, and he bites his lip.
“Are you crying?” Jungkook asks, leaning in until their breaths are mingling.
“No,” Taehyung insists, but his voice wavers, and a single tear drops onto his cheeks.
“You’re crying,” Jungkook teases gently, thumbing at the tear, and Taehyung huffs out a laugh.
“It’s because you’re a cheesy idiot and I hate you,” the elder pouts, and Jungkook presses his forehead against Taehyung’s.
“Do you really hate me?” he asks, and Taehyung punches his lightly on the arm.
“No, you asshole. I never hated you, I could never hate you,” he sniffles, and now tears are streaking down his face.
“I hate myself for hurting you. I spent a long time thinking about this, thinking about us. How badly I wanted there to be an us, and how I ruined it,”
“Then don’t hurt me anymore,” Taehyung whispers, bringing his hand up to Jungkook’s neck, brushing his thumb over the younger’s throat.
“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks softly, keeping his eyes on Taehyung’s as he uses his thumbs to wipe at the tears. He doesn’t know he’s been holding a breathe until Taehyung nods once, and his entire body floods with relief because this is exactly what he wants.
More than anything.
He leans in hesitantly, cradling Taehyung’s face in his hands as though the elder was made of fragile glass, untouchable and so easily breakable.
Jungkook presses his lips over Taehyung’s, just a light brush, but even that sets his insides on fire, starts a slow burn at the base of his stomach and now he knows only Taehyung could do that to him, only Taehyung would be able to make him feel like this, and he would be damned if he lost this.
No. He wouldn’t lose this. Ever.
He pulls his lips away slightly, only to press them back on Taehyung’s a moment later. He pecks at the elder’s mouth, then lets his mouth wander down to his jaw, placing feather-light kisses all over until he works his way down to Taehyung’s neck.
I don’t want to hurt you.
He can feel Taehyung’s erratic pulse underneath his mouth, and he’s relieved that he’s not the only one’s whose heart is racing a mile a minute. Jungkook swipes out his tongue tentatively, licking at the smooth, pristine skin, and revels in the sweet taste of Taehyung.
I won’t hurt you.
The elder has his hands tangled in Jungkook’s hair, head thrown back, and lets out hot little pants as Jungkook’s mouth sets at marking the skin. He almost feels like he’s going to cry again, because he was so close to losing Jungkook, so close to losing everything, but suddenly, everything is perfect, the future so alarmingly bright.
I love you, I promise I won’t hurt you.
Taehyung feels Jungkook’s cold fingers slide down his sides until they’re brushing over the strip of skin exposed at his torso, so terribly gentle, and his toes curl in anticipation.
“Can I?” Jungkook mumbles against his skin, and Taehyung lets out a huff of breath, because that question could mean so many different things, but Taehyung is willing to say yes to any and all of them. He want this more than anything else, and now he’s assured that Jungkook wants the same, wants- no, needs him the way Taehyung does.
“Please,” Taehyung whines, and feels a thrum of satisfaction when Jungkook tugs at the hem of his shirt, pulling it slowly, gently over his head before reattaching his mouth to Taehyung’s body.
Let me love you.
His mouth moves down at an agonizingly slow pace, every spot where his lips brush leaves a tingling sensation on Taehyung’s skin. It’s almost winter time but Taehyung feels like he’s burning up, all because of that mouth.
Jungkook presses airy kisses down lower and lower, until his mouth skims along the waistband of Taehyung’s jeans. He looks up at the elder with hooded eyes, silently asking for permission, permission to take care of him, permission to love him.
The hand in Jungkook’s hair winds tighter, and Jungkook takes it as a silent affirmation. He takes his time unbuttoning and unzipping the jeans, pulling them down just enough to reveal the erection throbbing painfully against the elder’s boxers.
The first time Jungkook sees Taehyung’s cock, he’s surprised and a little scared. Now, the image of it, clearly straining against the thin material is tantalizing, and Jungkook licks his lips in anticipation.
Taehyung lets out a sinfully loud whine when Jungkook presses his open mouth against his cotton-covered erection, the material scratching and Jungkook’s mouth hot and wet and god the friction drives him insane.
After a few moments of mindboggling teasing, Jungkook pushes the boxers down, freeing Taehyung’s throbbing cock, and dives down again. He starts at the base of Taehyung’s length, letting his mouth roam over his dick the way he did with Taehyung’s neck, and the elder whines because his lips are so unbelievably tender and gentle, Jungkook is being so careful, and his mind fogs up.
Jungkook swipes out his tongue experimentally, letting the wet muscle run along the underside of Taehyung’s throbbing cock, running over the veins until he’s reached the tip, slowly, working Taehyung into a frenzy. And before the elder can register a change, Jungkook takes his entire length into his mouth.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung almost sobs, head reeling from the sudden change and friction. He tries to remain upright, but then Jungkook swirls his tongue around his slit and his entire body melts, and he falls back against the couch with a thud.
His hips twitch upward, and initially he’s afraid that Jungkook will gag, but the younger just takes it, and soon Taehyung finds himself thrusting back into Jungkook’s wet mouth, his tip hitting the back of his throat.
“Jungkook, baby faster,” Taehyung pants out, and lifts his head just for a moment to watch Jungkook. He’s always fantasized about what the younger would look like with his wicked mouth wrapped around his cock but nothing in his imagination can compare to the reality of Jungkook’s flushed face, lips red and swollen, and eyes set in determination.
Eager to give Taehyung what he wants, Jungkook begins bobbing his head up and down faster, meeting the elder’s small thrusts. He didn’t ever think giving a blow job could be this fun but he’d do it every day if it meant getting to hear all the sounds that spill from Taehyung’s mouth.
“Jungkook, I’m going to-” But before Taehyung can finish the sentence, he bursts into Jungkook’s mouth, but the younger takes it in stride, swallowing everything and digging his tongue into the slit at the end, making Taehyung arch up with the sensitivity.
The younger feels himself getting tugged up by the hair and into a searing kiss. Taehyung can taste himself in Jungkook’s mouth, and the thought of him swallowing his essence makes his body flush hotter.
“Baby…” Taehyung sighs as Jungkook resumes his light kisses, hands wandering aimlessly over his body.
"Say that again,” Jungkook hums against his neck.
Taehyung bites his lip. “I thought you didn’t like it when I called you that,” He doesn’t mean for his voice to sound sad, but the memory of that last conversation leaves an bitter taste in his mouth. Jungkook pauses his ministrations to bring his head up and meet Taehyung’s gaze.
“No, I love it when you call me that. I love it too much, that was the problem,” Jungkook mumbles softly, pushing Taehyung’s bangs away from his forehead.
“When you call me baby, it makes me want to drop everything I’m doing and make love to you, fuck you senseless until you can’t remember your name,”
Jungkook’s brash words set Taehyung’s face on fire, but he fixes a terribly attractive smirk on his face, trying to hide the sudden rush of anticipation coursing through his veins.
“That would be a hell of an apology, baby,” Taehyung’s finger slides along Jungkook’s now-clenched jaw, and feels pleasure bubble up inside him as Jungkook’s legs shift and he feels the hardness pressing against his thigh.
“Are you provoking me?” Jungkook asks, his voice teasing and low, tender and soft. Taehyung shivers.
“Don’t I always?” Jungkook’s mouth quirks up at that, and Taehyung meets his gaze evenly, completely unabashed.
“That’s an invitation if I ever heard one,” Jungkook presses a painfully sensual, soft kiss to Taehyung’s mouth before pulling himself away.
The elder pushes himself up into a sitting position and watches as Jungkook gets up. “What are you doing?” he pouts. Jungkook looks at him, expression dark but still unwaveringly tender.
“If I’m going to make love to you properly, I’m going to do it in my bed, not my couch,” And with that, Jungkook pulls Taehyung up, tugging off both of their clothes while simultaneously dragging them upstairs to his bedroom.
The door slams shut behind them, and the sound mixes with the buzz of arousal around them. Jungkook has Taehyung against the door, reminding the elder of their first night, but everything feels so different.
Jungkook has braver hands, fingers digging into every dip of Taehyung’s back, groping tightly at his ass, thumbs pressed bruisingly against his pelvis, pushing their hips together. The friction is slow and painfully delightful, and Taehyung’s head thuds against the door as he moans.
The younger takes this moment to hike Taehyung’s legs around his waist, and the elder wraps completely around him. Jungkook loves this position, chests crushed together, breath mingling, Taehyung’s arms wound tightly around his neck. His hands cup around Taehyung’s ass, pushing them closer, and Taehyung’s face breaks out into blinding grin because god this is so intimate.
He carries the elder to his bed, lays Taehyung down gently on the pillows, because he’s afraid he’ll break Taehyung, so fragile and important, and he doesn’t want to hurt him. Taehyung’s hands wind tighter, pressing the two hyper-stimulated bodies inconceivably closer, and his tongue delves into Jungkook’s mouth, tasting at every part of the younger’s mouth because he missed him terribly, missed the taste of his mouth and the feel of his skin.
One of Taehyung’s hands slide down Jungkook’s chest until he’s gripping the younger’s member tightly, insighting a criminally hot groan that he swallows into his mouth with pride because only he can make Jungkook feel like this. He flicks his wrists until Jungkook’s hips are rolling against his hand, and his mouth moves sloppily over Jungkook’s jaw, his neck, his collar, everywhere he can reach.
It takes a few moments for Jungkook to claw through the electric bursts of pleasure seeping through his skin before he grabs Taehyung’s fisted hand and pulls it away. The elder whines, and Jungkook presses an apologetic kiss to his nose.
“No Taehyung,” he whispers breathlessly. “Just you,” Jungkook takes the elder’s wrist and presses his mouth on the soft skin. “Tonight, it’s just you,”
Jungkook has the satisfaction of feeling Taehyung tremor underneath him, and it pleases him to no end that he can make the elder feel like this.
He reaches over to his drawer to pull out a small bottle, and pours a generous amount onto his fingers. Capping it, his gaze turns heatedly to Taehyung’s who’s watching him with half-hooded eyes, Adam’s apple throbbing, hair wildly unkempt, lips swollen.
Jungkook swears that the sight of Taehyung laying there like that, so thoroughly wrecked, so willing to give himself to Jungkook in every way imaginable, is enough to make him come undone, and he stores the sight of it away for future reference.
“Taehyung, I want to hear you,” Jungkook whispers, his first digit teasing at Taehyung’s entrance, and the elder lets out a stuttered moan, bucking his hips. He looks so irresistible like this, and Jungkook sweeps down to swallow Taehyung’s sounds as he presses the finger in.
He twists the digit slowly into Taehyung’s tight hole, letting his thumb brush against the sensitive skin around his entrance, and Taehyung whines, arching his back until their chests are crushed together.
Jungkook adds in the second finger gently, his other hand stroking at Taehyung’s member as he let’s out a choked moan.
He knows where Taehyung’s sweet spots are, and he lets the pads of his fingers brush softly against them, over and over, until Taehyung is a writhing mess underneath him, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, chest glistening, voice turning hoarse from cries of pleasure.
“Tell me what you want, Taehyung,” Jungkook growls as he feels Taehyung’s walls clench around his digits. He’s growing impatient, desperate to have his dick inside Taehyung, but he pushes the feeling down. This is about Taehyung.
“Baby….” Taehyung moans, low and loud, and Jungkook almost snaps because that one word threatens to undo him, but he swallows the urge again, his free hand coming to dig at Taehyung’s hip.
“I’ll do anything you want,” Jungkook murmurs into Taehyung’s ear, and the elder’s hands tangle into Jungkook’s hair, tugging the younger’s face up to meet his gaze.
“I want…” Taehyung starts, but he loses focus as Jungkook slides in a third finger. He fights through the fog to find the words.
“I need you inside me,” Taehyung says, every syllable dripping with lust and Jungkook’s entire body flushes with heat and desire, because Taehyung is the only one, the only person who would ever get Jungkook like this, make him delirious with just a word or a look.
“Anything for you,” Jungkook hums, and withdraws his fingers. With record speed, he slicks himself up with the lube before sliding himself in, painfully slowly, and Taehyung lets out choked moans until Jungkook is fully inside, the air simmering around them.
The younger leans down to take Taehyung’s mouth into his own, biting and sucking, and Taehyung’s chest heaves, because now Jungkook completely fills him, in every conceivable way, and he’s so addicted to this feeling, of being complete, of being with someone who loves him with the burning passion that he himself does.
Jungkook’s hips dig into Taehyung’s ass as he presses himself in, rocking his length inside the elder’s tight heat, and he throws his head back in pleasure, because god this feels so good.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” Jungkook groans as Taehyung’s hands claw desperately at his back. He knows there will be angry red marks in the morning, but the thought of Taehyung marking up his body like that threatens to undo the control he has over himself.
He pulls his length out agonizingly slowly before pushing it back in again at the same torturous pace, and Taehyung whimpers, stomach quivering, because he can’t take this, the incoherency, the image of Jungkook above him, biting his lip in concentration, sweat dotting his forehead with the effort. He knows how hard Jungkook is trying for him, and it makes his chest bubble with euphoria.
“Jungkook, baby, go faster,” Taehyung murmurs, his hands running down Jungkook’s back to grope at his ass. How many times had he fantasized about that ass, and everything else that made up Jungkook? How many times had he imagined Jungkook making love to him like this, so gentle, so perfect?
“No,” Jungkook shakes his head, eyes dark with lust, and something deeper. He takes Taehyung’s hand and winds their fingers together, pulling their arms above Taehyung’s head. He winds his other arm around the elder’s waist, pushing their bodies closer.
“I want this to last,” he murmurs, drawing his length out before edging it back in. Taehyung’s eyes roll back as Jungkook shifts his hips so he’s continuously brushing his tip against Taehyung’s sweet spot.
“God you feel so good, Taehyung,” Jungkook breathes as Taehyung’s legs wrap tighter around him, and he rocks his length harder against Taehyung’s walls.
“You’re so perfect,” Jungkook continues, tightening his grip as he continues his agonizing pace. Taehyung feels like his heart is going to leap out of his throat, because no one ever said those words to him before Jungkook.
“I need you, Taehyung,” The elder winds his free arm around Jungkook’s neck, burying him into a hug as the vulnerability, the fear, seeps into Jungkook’s tone. Taehyung feels like he can’t breathe, can’t focus on anything other than Jungkook’s hitched breathing against his neck.
“I love you,” And Taehyung feels himself toppling off the edge, vision blinded by white hot pleasure as his orgasm rocks through his body. Jungkook follows only seconds later, hips stuttering as he releases his seed into Taehyung.
Jungkook’s body lays over Taehyung’s both bodies quivering against each other as they ride out their pleasure. They spend what seems like an eternity trying to catch their breath before Jungkook props his head up to lean his forehead against Taehyung’s, noses brushing, and mouths crushed together, more breathing than kissing.
When Jungkook slides out, Taehyung pants in pleasure, pressing his head into the pillow until Jungkook’s length is completely out. The younger rolls over to lay down beside Taehyung, and they both turn onto their sides and stare at each other, lost in their world as the air lulls around them, buzzing with sex and humming with something more… intimate.
Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s hips and scoots them closer together, until their bodies are flush against each other, foreheads touching, lips not a breath apart.
He scans his eyes over Jungkook, reveling in the image of him with his normally coifed hair hanging over his forehead, sticking to his skin with sweat, eyes glazed, cheeks flushed.
“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook murmurs as Taehyung continues to gaze at him, tender and loving. He loves that look, he prays that Taehyung will never stop looking at him like that.
“I keep thinking this is just a dream,” Taehyung admits, eyes cast down.
“One of your wet dreams where you get to bang the hot neighbor?” Jungkook teases, and Taehyung huffs a laugh, but the melancholy effectively disappears.
“I’ve had plenty of those,” Taehyunng says suggestively, and Jungkook smirks, wiggling himself closer until limbs are so entangled that Taehyung can’t figure out where he ends and Jungkook begins.
“It’s not though, you know?” Jungkook says softly. “I’m right here, and I’m not going to leave you. Not again,”
Taehyung’s eyes penetrate Jungkook’s and he knows that every word Jungkook says is true. He sighs, brushing Jungkook’s fringe away from his forehead.
The younger lets his eyes flutter closed, because he is so comfortable in Taehyung’s arms, so safe, and he’s not afraid to admit it to himself, to anyone else. He’s past the point of trying to classify who he is, done trying to figure out what he feels for Taehyung besides love.
He sighs and presses a soft kiss to Taehyung’s forehead, his mouth lingering for just a moment, whispering the words it took so long to say.
“I’m so in love with you,”