Father, me first!
Look at me! I’m here!
Why don’t you look at me first? Why do you always look at Thor first? I’m closer. I’m right here, by your side. But you turn away to say hello to my brother first. It’s always him first. Why do I come last? I want to be first, just once. Please. Just once, Father, just look to me first. That’s all I want. The first hello, the first hug, the first kiss.
Father, teach me!
I know you’re busy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m sorry. But just one story. A quick one and I promise I’ll go to sleep. I won’t bother you again.
Tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow? Just a short one, I promise! You already showed Thor how to ride and wear armor and put a sword in his hand. All I want is a story. Any one you want, I don’t care.
What about the day after tomorrow?
Father, pay attention to me!
It was an accident, I swear it! Just a bit a fun, I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt! I’ll make it better. I’ll fix it! Please stop yelling!
But…this is the first time in a month I’ve had your complete attention. Even if you’re yelling, you’re yelling at me.
Is…is this what you want? Is this what will make you remember me, make you see me? Make you love me? I’ll do it, if you want. I don’t care what the others say, if it’s what you want, I’ll do it.
Father, love me!
What more do I have to do? What else can I do? How do I make you love me, the way you love him? I’m not Thor, I can’t be Thor. I don’t want to be Thor.
I want to be Loki. I want to be me.
But I want you to love me.
Why don’t you love me?
Why am I bad? Why am I always wrong? Why do you look at me first now, when you’re looking for someone to blame?
I don’t understand.
But I’ll keep trying, until you do.
Odin, let me go!
For once, just let me go. I don’t belong here. We both know it. And if you try to keep me here, I will only hurt the ones you love.
The ones I love, too, though you’ll never believe me. Not now.
I’m tired of this. So tired. I can never be what you want. I never could have been. I know that now. So, please, just once, let me go. Stop pretending. I’m tired of pretending, of fighting for something I never had, never will have, and don’t want anymore. Let me be free. For once in my life, let me be me. To whatever end, just…
...let me be. Please.
And if I fall, when I fall…
…don’t catch me.