Actions

Work Header

No Hommo, a johndave/johncat fan fiktion.

Chapter Text

FUCK FUCKIGN FUCKIN GUFKV FUCK FU
You're name is karkat vantes. You justleft john egbarts house. He wass SO HOT I MEAN DANG fuck u wjsut wanted fof uck him a lo t and like but then the PROBLEM IS, hes NOT A HOMOSEXUAL FUCK COUD YOUR LIFE GET ENY WORDse? fuck. you bang your head against a wall and it kida breakds. U hear a text on ur sellfone,
":33 *neoepts a kawaais over to karktity prurlr*"
U Groan because ur karakts. "
"FUCK. WHAT HTE FUCK ARE YOU WANTING NEPEPETsa? YOU RE DOUMB BIMBO."
"D--> dDont' you rdare talk to nePEET a liek that you fould low bel100D"
"GOD DAMN IT EQUEERUS WHAT ARE YOU DONIG?"
"D--> Being a towel"
":33 gosh dern it!! eqkitty stolded my kittyphone. >:33 no phone for you equius!!! purrl"
":33 so what are you doing thursdya? purrl :3"
"BEING A FUCK ASS AS USSUAL. WHY?"
":#3 i wanted t to nknow if youd liek to draw sonic the dhedjehog swith me!!!! mweow"
"SURE, IT'S A DATE, I GUESS. IS EQEUIASSHOLE GONNA BE THER?"
"D-> Fuck you"
">:33 ill set him up with a little... aradia date!!"
"WHATEVER."
~~~~~~~~
your name is JOHN !HEGBAORD!!1 and ur NO T A HONOSEXUALl. at the slightest. ok, maaaybe for nic cage. u really like that song by him "How do i I live without you !!!" hes ur favorite signher <333
Aridght so ur hanign out with dave and u hug him u kjno like when ytheir at the door and they go "Ding dong" and u go "waht who where?" and they go "WOWO! hot A WHAT BAHABATHthaiat" then ur idioan iand then yuo iopen the ntdoro an dhug them you know that fel bfbro? anyways so you do that. and then he goes "Jesus egbeorst i was just kinda gettin at the doro you mnnow ?" then u go "wos sorry ur gojust so hot?" then u go in the inside and ur dad goes "U know son, i respectu u no matter waht you do!!?" THEN UR SUDDENLY JASON DERULOTHEN UR KISSING dave wait what? SORRY U Got carried away daydremaing? "Ok dad, what ever" then u go watch bad moives with dave and he gOES "NOT NO JOHN I DONT WANNA WATCH UR DUMB MOVIES FUCK OF."then you wannan kiss him so bad so y..uou ... r...each... into his face.... and then................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lmao intermission 3

A large balcack man with sweet mucscles and a tight ripped pajamas that re yellow he walks thorugh the doorway of the hostpital
then theres a nurse she goes "GERonmy?" ok ur hella jef fis this way please follwo me."
then he goes to a room thats like. the hospital room wit helal jef u know?
"ger..lo...m.y..."
"Yes my weet. OOPS CAPS. r u ok?"
"no im dying u dumb idiot"
"oops sory."
u kiss him sweetly. "NO.... IM HURT to much. whydidnt u warn me about stairs?"
u start sobbing, "IBUT I TOLD U DOG!"
he move.s. "NO... TO... late... aswipe." he dies ant he flatlines flatnline s lu know like a flatline it goes like jiggyty jaggity andflat kno flat likea pancake like flat like a c flat u kno flat likea pancake at u kno. ke a ctuting board? then it goes alflat u kno. so i he dies. the hwlllea jeff IEDEDEIAS\"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!again"
TO BE CONCK TINUED