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No Hommo, a johndave/johncat fan fiktion.

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You are KARTKAT VANTAS, and you reALLY ENJOY JOHN EGBERST HOT ASS. He's is walking around out of his bakery shop his dad owns, like dang werk it gurl werk that ass Then he cums up to you and says, "hi Karkat!"!! then you says, "hELLO FUCKASS. HOWS IT HANGING, HOMO." "Karkat!!!!!!!!! im not a homosexula!!!" Then you says to him, 'WHY SIS THAT EVEN A THING?" john: "wlel. .. i donno! it just is. hey wanna watch con air with me?"
"GOD DAMN IT EGBERT, DO YOU LIKE ANY GOD FORSAKEN HUMAN MOVIES OTHER THAN CON AIR?FUCKASS"
'nope!!! according to the fandom i dont!! "
You look at him at confusing, what tht hell is afANDOM.
You get very distracted by johns hot throbbing elbows, like does he even notice how horn-y you are right now from the sight of his elbowas? You gently rub your cock through your pockets as you drift of into yaoi fantasys, but he snaps you alive with the sound of his beautiful face
"oh!... karkat......... so do you wanna come over and watch con air? blah blah blah nic cage? and it'll be totally heterosexual! i only have one bed, though.... so yaoi'll have to share with me!!"
You contemplate this for amoment or two, Pros: Dang you get to sleep next to Egbart, cons: FUCKING NICOLAS CAGE,,,,
You settle on coming. "OKAY, EGNERT, I'LL HUMER YOU. ILL COME TO YOU'RE STUPID CON AIR PARTY. " You say, hoping he hears the disgruntledness in your voice. If only he knew how dreamy you thought he was... sigh.....

~~~*~*

Thet following night, u Go to johns house and you knock on the door and he Bursts open TheDoor and then says "hi karkat!!!" And Hug's you and it makes you feel relaly horny inside. You push him off and say, "WHATEVER, JOHN. ARE YOU READY TO WATCH THIS PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE?"
"heck yes i am!!!"(his father doesnt let him sware) Then He jumps into his home and closes the door. You come to the realization that John is as hot as ever, dang, werk that ass girl, And yor thirsting for him. Like dang, u could Sure go for a nice drink of Egbert right now. Dang.

He plumpts down onto the bed in his room and turns on the dvd. Hes sitting on the bed in his Ghost buttster pAjamas, and wwo you can olmost see his //PEINIS.// Like shit dog its' like almost hanging out and stuff. by that you mean,, taht his pants are hanging off his hips. You want to tell him to wear a belt but you dont want to cus then you won't get to see his Pink Mutantp Penis.

JOhn goes, 'kAAAAAAAAAAAAAARkat please sit on me -- i mean next to me. '' He looks at you with puppy dogg eyes, How Could You rResists? You sit next to himand grumble fukass Because you are Karkat. Then the movies stars and you have popcarn in his lap and you grab from the bowl wiitch is so extremely close to his Peinis. Dang ur getting all horny inside again. OK, so then the movies on and its really boring and You're sittin next to your homeboy John Ogbert and then hes ......... SNORING???? Then hes on you r shoulder and damn you tear up because its so damn kawaii. But you dont say that bccause men dont cry. DUh. You promptly fall asleep with your hand in the popcorn bowal.

~~~*~!*
Intermisttion

 

Snoop dogg carefully awaits his lover in his 5 story Mansion made entirely out of hoes and gold and $$Bling$$.
Geromy rings de doorbell. "Knkock Knokc" Sayd the geromy.
Snoop dogg answers the doorbell. He's is wearing only a gold rubber thong and a fur coat.
"Dayum," Says geromy.
Snoop dog says:"Get in here, you nasty trash fool." The snoop dogg winks.
Geromy smiles in his yellow fotty pjs and den follows him into the Snoop Dogg hosue. 'Got any nanchoes?" He seys.
Snoop dog then goes, "What the hizzat did ju say?"
"Do u have any nanchos?" Said the geromy.
snoop dogg looks angerily at the geremy. his heart is getting fier. and there mad. mostly snoop dog, hes really mad.
"Dont get up in my face unless u tryin a fuck, "snoop dog.
"I am just tryin to be kinky Doggy"geromy.
"Well then *unzips rubber thong*Lets get freaky and down on the floor gurl"
"Oh yes snop dog!"
Then they fuck violently on the flor.

Then Hella jeff walks in. 'GEROMY!' He says. "U KNOW U ARE ONLY SEX TO ME, "he grimaces. kinda like roneld mcdoneld grimace u knw that grimce?
Then The Geromy says, "H.. Hella jeff! No! It's not waht you thikn! It is only a ruse! A distaction!"
Hella jeffL:DONT............. even try, geromy. I DONT CARE FOR U AWAYMORE..............."
Tears develop in geromys eyes "NO JEFF U DONT UNDERSNAND!" snoop dog says "Whut de hell is dis i just wanna piece of dat black ass"
Helle jeff walks without looking cus hes got tears into his eyes. Then he promply falls down the staiers.
Geromy runs down stairs naked to pick up da pieces. "NO..sf.......g HELLA JEFF! I ment 2 say I luv u five-ever..........."
hella jeff quietly whispers, "gero..m..y.... it...keeps... hapening..........."
Geromy: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

END INTERMISSION 1.

top be conct tinued.