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Gamzee: Begin

You're getting right on that, as it is. It's about damn time this plan of yours began hatching. You've been working on it for quite a while and you're quite proud of it. It's kind of ingenious.

You didn't exactly bother coming up with phases, though. You think that's pretty much pointless anyway, especially when you're the only one involved in its execution. If you had, however, this would probably be phase 2. It's not a very complicated plan, just an ingenious one.

Well, this doesn't have much to do with execution, you guess. That will have to wait until later.

For now, though, you're approaching a hive. It's a pretty extravagant sort of hive, you suppose. You never did much care for grandeur, and you're pretty sure that this is the height of it, because if it wasn't, its owner would've made it so.

It's despicable, that's what it is. Another sign of motherfuckin oppression and you're not going to stand for it. You're going to tear this thing apart piece by motherfuckin piece. Eventually. You need to focus. You're here for an entirely different reason.

You're here for a motherfuckin rescue mission and you're going to show those seadwelling motherfuckers that they ain't running the place anymore.

Which isn't to say you're not going to get your motherfuckin destroy on and enjoy it for a bit, of course.

Peixes: --

You're terribly sorry, Peixes isn't here right now. You think it's kind of cute anyone wants anything to do with her, though, but that doesn't mean you're going to give her body back yet. There are a few things you want to do with it first.

You think it's very much okay if this body is referred to by the name of its usual host, though. That only makes it more fun!

Peixes: Enjoy Yourself

There are just so many ways for you to do that. You could, for example, explore mistress' respiteblock again. There's always some interesting things to be found there.

Or maybe you could try getting into the weapons cabinet again. Although last time you tried that, you nearly lost your hands. That had been an exciting evening.

You could always just try out some new recipes with some of the rare ingredients mistress keeps stored for special occasions. You have to admit you're not a terribly good cook, though, but that's no reason not to have a go at it.

Or maybe you'll stick closer to home and keep it personal. Those grey clothes are so dull anyway and-

What's this? You recognize that sound. Someone's talking to her. To you. Whatever.

Peixes: Answer

What do you type like again? Oh, right.

-- technicallyColorblind [TC] began trolling cultureCultivated [CC] --

TC: peixes.
TC: feferi.
TC: tell me you're motherfuckin present and accounted for, sis.

CC: 1 think 1 am.
CC: What's going on, Gamzee?

TC: i have a motherfuckin present for you.
TC: in fact, it's the finest present you'll have received in your entire motherfuckin life.
TC: but before i go ahead and start dropping surprises on your motherfuckin head like it's twelfth perigrees eve, i need to ask you one motherfuckin question.

CC: 1'm not sure if my mistress a11ows presents.
CC: 1n fact, 1 don't even think 1'm a11owed to talk to you.

TC: fuck that motherfuckin bitch.
TC: i'm not going to be caught talking about her.
TC: not any longer than i have to.
TC: and the only time i have to be talking about her at all is in the question i'm about to motherfuckin ask you.
TC: are you alone?

CC: My mistress isn't here right now.
CC: Why?
CC: What’s going on?

TC: just as the plan motherfuckin dictated.
TC: the gift you're about to be all up and receiving is going to be freedom.
TC: i'm getting you out of there, sis.
TC: it's been way too motherfuckin long anyway.
TC: can't possibly be healty for you to stick with a motherfucking seadweller for so long.
TC: we need to breathe something other than motherfuckin salt to stay up and running.

CC: 1 can’t 1eave!
TC: why the motherfuck not?
CC: My mistress wi11 ki11 me!
TC: sis, making sure your mistress can’t be all up and threatening your life is pretty much the main motherfuckin point of this whole flawless motherfuckin plan.
CC: She’11 come after me and then she’11 ki11 a11 of you, no matter what Equius says.
CC: P1ease just 1eave me a1one.

TC: THAT POISONOUS MOTHERFUCKIN EMPEROR DOESN’T DECIDE WHAT DOES AND DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME.
TC: AND HE CAN SEND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HIS MOTHERFUCKIN MINDSLAVES AFTER ME.
TC: I’LL SLAUGHTER THEM ONE BY ONE AND BATHE IN THEIR MOTHERFUCKIN RAINBOWS OF BLOOD.

CC: Do you think you can stop a11 of them?
CC: Even Nepeta?

TC: LEIJON’S JUST AN IRRELEVANT MOTHERFUCKIN OBSTACLE.
TC: SHE’S SO FAR REMOVED FROM REAL POWER SHE CAN’T EVEN BREATHE WITHOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER ZAHHAK TELLING HER.
TC: AND SHE’D PROBABLY STOP IF HE MOTHERFUCKIN TOLD HER TO.
TC: THAT’S JUST HOW ROTTEN HER MOTHERFUCKIN THINKPAN IS.
TC: SHE WON’T EVEN GET IN MY WAY.

CC: And what if she wi11?
TC: NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.
TC: I’M GETTING YOU OUT OF THERE.

-- technicallyColorblind [TC] ceased trolling cultureCultivated [CC] --

Oh.

Oh yes.

This night just got all kinds of fun.

You need to prepare yourself.

Gamzee: Enter Hive

Peixes was acting a bit weird, but you haven’t talked to her in a long time and you guess slavery changes a troll. Not a problem, though, there’s plenty of time to fix that later.

Your inside source was happy to provide you with the layout to this place and Feferi’s respiteblock should be on ground floor zero. Nevertheless, you keep an eye on your Strife Specibus, just in case. It wouldn’t do for someone to get the drop on you, now would it? That would fuck all kinds of shit up.

Gamzee: Enter Respiteblock

You have to take back what you said about grandeur after what you see here. At least grandeur is something. This block just looks so motherfuckin depressing. Grey walls, grey recuperacoon, grey motherfuckin computer.

It’s completely without identity. You like humility in moderation, and this isn’t motherfuckin it.

It’s also devoid of life, which is to say, there’s nobody else here.

That’s not good.

Gamzee: Check Logs

You check Feferi’s logs. Her last two conversations were with you and with… Nepeta Leijon.

That’s definitely not good.

Gamzee: Equip Clubs

As a precaution, you draw your clubs from your Strife deck. You don’t know what you’re going to end up facing now.

Your glorious mission isn’t over yet, though. You came here with a reason, and you’re not going to let one minor motherfuckin setback dissuade you.

There’s things to be done, here, and it’s about damn time you got to it.

Gamzee: Search

You slowly make your way upstairs. This place is a motherfuckin palace, but most of the blocks in it serve no goddamn purpose at all. It’s a motherfuckin waste.

Problem being, she could be in any one of those motherfuckin things, so you have to check them all. It’s motherfuckin tedious and the more time you spend on this shit, the more time she has to prepare, wherever the hell she is.

Fuck it.

Gamzee: Get Up There

You run upstairs, taking nothing but cursory glances into the blocks you pass. If she’s not in the biggest room, then you might as well have lost her already.

She is standing there, right in the open. She looks almost hollowed out, and her grey clothes ain’t exactly making her look any healthier. She’s also staring at you, a strange smile on her face, showing as many teeth as possible.

Her eyes are wide and frightened, though, and she’s still crying.

You are suddenly becoming really pissed off.

Gamzee: Talk

GAMZEE: YOU KNOW THIS AIN’T MOTHERFUCKIN COOL, SIS.
GAMZEE: I AM STILL GOING TO GET HER OUT OF HERE, EVEN IF I HAVE TO MOTHERFUCKIN BEAT YOU OUT OF HER TO DO IT.
GAMZEE: YOU GOT THAT, MOTHERFUCKER?

FEFERI: ::::( youre going to take my toy away?
FEFERI: ::::3 i dont think i can let you do that
FEFERI: ::::3 i really like playing with her
FEFERI: ::::3 and vriska is going to be really mad when i let her get away

GAMZEE: DO I LOOK LIKE I MOTHERFUCKIN GIVE A SHIT HOW THAT SEADWELLING SHITSTAIN FEELS ABOUT THIS?
GAMZEE: SHE’S NOT IMPORTANT.
GAMZEE: YOU’RE NOT MOTHERFUCKIN IMPORTANT.
GAMZEE: FEFERI’S THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKING IMPORTANT PERSON RIGHT NOW, FOR ALL I MOTHERFUCKIN CARE.

FEFERI: ::::3 hihi
FEFERI: ::::3 did anyone ever tell you that youre adorable?
FEFERI: ::::( it really is too bad that equius wont let me play with you
FEFERI: ::::( we could have so much fun together!

GAMZEE: THAT’S ENOUGH OF THIS MOTHERFUCKIN SMALL TALK, YOU LITTLE BITCH.
GAMZEE: YOU’RE GOING TO MOTHERFUCKIN LET FEFERI GO RIGHT NOW,
GAMZEE: OR ELSE I’LL COME FIND YOU, AND I’LL BEAT YOUR CUTE MOTHERFUCKIN LITTLE SKULL IN AND FEED YOU TO YOUR GODAWFUL EXCUSE FOR A LUSUS.
GAMZEE: I HOPE SHE CHOKES ON YOU.

FEFERI: >::::( don’t talk about my lusus like that!
FEFERI: >::::( shes the best lusus on alternia
FEFERI: ::::3 and when equius is done with you she gets to eat you too!

GAMZEE: LET HER GO.
FEFERI: ::::3 no
FEFERI: ::::3 you go
FEFERI: ::::3 i want you to leave right now

GAMZEE: HA!
GAMZEE: THAT AIN’T MOTHERFUCKIN HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON, PRINCESS.
GAMZEE: I AIN’T LEAVING THIS HELLHOLE UNLESS IT’S WITH MY MAIN MOTHERFUCKIN SISTER HERE.

FEFERI: >::::( i said LEAVE!

Peixes: Pounce

You don’t really have any weapons, since Vriska took them all away and even took your Strife Specibus, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.

You pounce at the mean interloper, but he’s faster than you, and you don’t even see him moving until something hits you very hard in the side.

That’s okay though, you don’t feel any pain. Only she does.

Peixes: Attack

You get up again. Gamzee’s breathing sounds really heavy now. He must be really angry!

You won’t let that stop you from doing even more, of course. You jump at him again, and he roars like you’ve never even heard before! Then his club hits your forehead and you fall down again, your vision a little bit blurry.

Peixes: Get Up

Before you can really do that, another hit connects with your body. His clubs strike you again and again.

And again.

And again.

You briefly notice that he actually made you bleed, which you think is funny because you didn’t think his clubs could do that.

That also makes you curious for his blood, but you would probably have had trouble making him bleed even with a weapon. He’s so fast!

Your body passes out, although you think he’s still beating you.

Gamzee: Stop

You stop.

Your clubs are dripping with brown and they really shouldn’t be, but you don’t really understand why.

You’re pretty sure you came here with a reason and that reason wasn’t this but your thoughts aren’t clear. There’s just so much energy, so much anger.

You were attacked, that means you had to defend yourself. And that means you have to take out the threat completely so it doesn’t get you back later.

But Feferi wasn’t a threat, right? She wasn’t.

But then why would you hit her? What are you doing here?

Gamzee: Break

You need to demolish something. You need to hit things and hear the satisfying sounds of destruction. The melody that runs through your veins. The music of pure anger.

There’s a lot of glass here. That’s good. Glass cracks. It breaks easily. All of it does. So does the wood, although wood splinters, rips rather than cracks. The sounds are different. Complimentary.

There’s something else that catches your eye, though.

It’s an organ. Of course that pretentious bitch of a Serket has an organ.

She probably doesn’t even know how to play it properly.

Your club halts on its way to destroy it.

There’s a better way to go about this, you think. A better way to channel this energy.

Gamzee: Play

You sit down and slam your fingers down on the keys. You play harsh, ominous chords, speeding up as you go along. The sound reverberates through the entire hive, making it sound like your music is coming straight from hell.

You build up to a powerful crescendo, letting the final note echo on for a while.

Gamzee: Calm Down

You’re… what were you doing?

You were here for Feferi, and then you...

And then you… almost beat her to death.

Fuck. That sort of thing really needs to stop happening.

Gamzee: Leave

You have to get out of here, before Serket returns. There’s no way Leijon didn’t already tell her about this.

That also means you have to leave Feferi behind. She’d slow you down too much and leave a pretty obvious trail.

You’re sorry, sis, but it looks like this motherfuckin rescue mission was a colossal motherfuckin failure. Her rescue’s going to come at a later date.

You need to split, and really chew out the one that told you that this was a good idea.

Motherfuckin subordinates, can’t count on them to do anything right.

You’re gone by the time anyone returns, to consciousness or otherwise.

You notice soon afterwards that someone has been trying to talk to you. Which doesn’t really surprise you at all.

Gamzee: Answer

-- arachnophileChipper [AC] began trolling technicallyColorblind [TC] --

AC: ::::3 that was a lot of fun gamzee!
AC: ::::( i really hope you didnt kill her though
AC: ::::3 youre not more fun than she is
AC: ::::3 youre really fast though!
AC: ::::3 do you think you could teach me how to do that?
AC: ::::( you probably dont want to though
AC: ::::3 but i thought i should ask!
AC: ::::3 did you know that youre really cool when youre angry?

TC: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DO YOU WANT?
AC: ::::3 i just wanted to talk
AC: ::::3 and i think you should apologize

TC: REALLY?
TC: THAT’S JUST MOTHERFUCKIN PEACHES AND CREAM, LEIJON.
TC: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK SHOULD I BE APOLOGIZING TO YOUR INFECTIOUS LITTLE SELF FOR?

AC: >::::( for what you said about my lusus
AC: >::::( shes the nicest lusus ever and not awful at all
AC: >::::( so i want you to take that back

TC: AFTER YOU SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURED ONE OF MY CLOSEST MOTHERFUCKIN FRIENDS AND ALLIES FOR SEVERAL MOTHERFUCKIN MONTHS,
TC: AND JUST FORCED MY TO NEARLY GODDAMN BEAT HER TO DEATH,
TC: YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR ONE RETARDED LITTLE INSULT I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN HORROR VILLAIN?

AC: >::::( yes
TC: WELL I DIDN’T MOTHERFUCKIN THINK SO, SISTER OF THE MOTHERFUCKIN SCOURGE.
TC: YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE HEARING ANY MOTHERFUCKIN APOLOGIES FROM ME.
TC: THE ONLY THING YOU WILL BE GETTING TO HEAR FROM MY HUMBLE MOTHERFUCKIN SELF IS MY MIRTHFUL LAUGHTER AS I SMASH YOUR THINK PAN INTO TINY LITTLE BITS, YOU UNGODLY ABOMINATION OF A TROLL.

AC: >::::( well
AC: >::::( your lusus is just a big meanie
AC: ::::3 bye gamzee!

-- arachnophileChipper [AC] ceased trolling technicallyColorblind [TC] --

Gamzee:--

You are going to enjoy murdering that little spiderbitch. You’re going to motherfucking savor every motherfuckin second of it, and save all of it in your sweet motherfuckin think pan, so you can play it back whenever you’re feeling down.

That’s what’s going to happen to that creepy motherfuckin girl and you are going to make sure it comes to pass.

This is not hate. This is a troll stepping on a motherfuckin ant and rubbing his foot in it. That motherfucker of an emperor’s got no right to complain.

End of Act 1