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Equius: Return to Hive

Consulting with Gl’bgolyb has enlightened you in some respects. She reminded you of an old message she sent you. You weren’t sure what to make of it back then, but you understand it now. You will not be the first to play this game, and this new information may just have given you an advantage.

Not that you really need it, of course. You have been ruling a planet for a while now, after all. The scope of this game has also somewhat changed your priorities, and you need to relay your new orders immediately.

Equius: Open Trollian

You see that Vriska has attempted to contact you. Good. Her insincere apology can wait, however; her actions had other consequences you must attend to. An agent of yours needs to get started on a new mission.

Equius: Contact Agent

-- controllingTyrant [CT] began trolling targetAcquired [TA] --

CT: 3---E Captor.
CT: 3---E Report.
TA: ye5 5ir,..,
TA: my main 5u5pect right now i5 terezi,..,
TA: if only becau5e 5he wa5 predictably weird and becau5e of how much 5he talk5 to vanta5.
TA: i’’m pretty 5ure 5he’’5 doing 5omething you don’’t know about,..,
TA: i ju5t don’’t have a clue what that thing i5,..,
TA: 5o,, really,, there’’5 nothing new there,..,
CT: 3---E Reports do usually contain news.
TA: of cour5e 5ir,..,
TA: there ju5t i5n’’t much to go on from dialogue alone,..,
TA: i need to go out and check out their hive5 for my5elf,..,
TA: which,, before you even go there,, i’’m planning right now,..,
TA: i have a few name5 i want to check out that way,, but until i’’ve done 5o,, i’’m not going to ruin their reputation5,..,
TA: i have to wait until daybreak anyway,, becau5e blueblood5 are notoriou5ly paranoid,..,
CT: 3---E Y00 may remove leijon from your list of suspects, sh001d she still be on there.
CT: 3---E Recent developments have quite conclusively cl3---Ered her name.
TA: am i allowed to know what the5e development5 are,, 5ir?
CT: 3---E Serkets hive was recently attacked by makara, while she was away.
CT: 3---E Leijon t00k control of her slave to drive makara out.
TA: it’’5 not my po5ition to que5tion you,, 5ir,, but are you 5ure that clear5 her name?
CT: 3---E Letting makara escape with the slave w001d have been a far greater victory for the rebellion, and she w001d have lost nothing in the way of reputation in this case.
CT: 3---E So yes, i am sure.
CT: 3---E Thank y00 for your concern.
TA: i’’m 5orry,, 5ir,..,
TA: 5ceptici5m i5 what i am trained for,..,
CT: 3---E As are several others who stand much closer to me.
CT: 3---E Y00 w001d do well to remember your place.
CT: 3---E Y00 sh001d consider yourself fortunate i am even sp3---Eking with y00 directly.
TA: i do,, 5ir,..,
TA: i apologize,..,
TA: can i a5k another que5tion,, though?
CT: 3---E That depends entirely on the question.
TA: 5ince makara pretty much made hi5 move and failed with thi5 whole traitor ploy,, doe5 that mean it i5n’’t relevant anymore?
TA: or not directly relevant,, i gue55?
TA: and if that’’5 the ca5e,, you need me to do 5omething el5e,, in5tead,..,
TA: 5o what do you need me for?
CT: 3---E That is entirely accurate.
CT: 3---E Those were, also, several questions.
TA: heh,, 5orry,..,
CT: 3---E I n3---Ed y00 to find aradia megido.
CT: 3---E She has b3---En a thorn in our collective sides for long enough now, and it is time we t00k care of her.
TA: that 5ound5 awe5ome,..,
TA: i5 there anything el5e i need to know before i go?
CT: 3---E Y00 intend to l3---Eve immediately?
TA: well,, yeah,..,
TA: i5n’’t thi5 kind of what i’’ve been preparing for all the5e perigree5?
TA: a5 5oon a5 you 5aid go i would be gone,..,
TA: 5eriou5ly,, ju5t give me the word,..,
CT: 3---E And how will y00 be tracking her down?
CT: 3---E After rep3---Eted failures in the past?
TA: i’’ve been mapping the fore5t on my training 5e55ion5,..,
TA: the place i5 huge, but i’’ve been able to count a lot of place5,, 5o i have a pretty good place to 5tart,..,
TA: don’’t even worry about it,, 5ir,, i’’ve got thi5 covered,..,
TA: you can count on me,..,
TA: 5he won’’t even know what hit her,..,
TA: quick que5tion,, do you want her dead or alive?
CT: 3---E Alive, if r3---Esonably convenient.
CT: 3---E Although if this proves to be t00 much of a hassle, I w001d rather have her dead than not have her at all.
TA: under5tood,, 5ir,..,
TA: i’’m on it,..,
TA: anything el5e?
CT: 3---E No.
CT: 3---E Y00 may go.

-- controllingTyrant [CT] ceased trolling targetAcquired [TA] --

He is far too clever for his own good sometimes. Even if he does not succeed in killing Megido, he may at least prevent her from joining the game. In doing so, he will also prevent himself from joining the game, but, quite frankly, you’re more than willing to exchange a pawn for a rook. You have other pieces to play with, after all.

Equius: Play

You suppose you could get back to finding out what Makara’s blood color is, but you don’t think that’s all that relevant right now.

What you really should do, however, is inform him of the moves you’ve made.

Someone has to keep this kismesissitude alive, after all, and it may as well be you.

Equius: Contact Kismesis

-- controllingTyrant [CT] began trolling technicallyColorblind [TC] --

CT: 3---E Your ploy app3---Ers to have failed.
CT: 3---E Miserably, i might add.
TC: you sure about that, motherfucker?
TC: the way i see it, nothing’s been motherfuckin changed.
TC: you didn’t win anything, you phallus-horned freak.
TC: and i ain’t lost nothing but time.
CT: 3---E Yet time is such a precious resource for y00.
CT: 3---E And while your show of force was somewhat impressive.
CT: 3---E We are both aware that this was a one time event.
CT: 3---E So what y00 lost, my obsidian adversary, was opportunity.
TC: nah, what i done motherfuckin lost was one opportunity.
TC: there’s plenty of other motherfuckin fish in the deep blue motherrfuckin sea.
TC: just waiting to get clubbed to death.
TC: i’m just getting motherfuckin started, brother.
TC: you better be preparing yourself for the loss of a lot of motherfuckin prawns.
CT: 3---E Yes, i w001d imagine y00 n3---Ed to be at your hive for the next stage.
CT: 3---E Such a shame.
CT: 3---E I have some very g00d men stationed there.
TC: what the motherfuck are you talking about?
CT: 3---E That is a pointless question.
CT: 3---E Given that y00 already know the answer.
CT: 3---E Your next question will be equally pointless.
TC: how the motherfuck do you know about that?
CT: 3---E Given that y00 know i will not give the answer.
CT: 3---E Case in point.
TC: you’re sitting there being all motherfuckin proud and shit right about now.
TC: so tell me, you smug son of a bitch.
TC: why not save their pathetic motherfucking lives while you’re at it?
CT: 3---E That sounds like a complaint.
TC: i’m looking all kinds of forward to getting my motherfuckin slaughter on.
TC: i’m just pointing out how embarrassingly motherfuckin stupid this is.
CT: 3---E Saving them is impossible.
CT: 3---E They will die regardless of whether or not y00 are the one to slay them.
CT: 3---E I may as well let them delay y00.
TC: yeah, i’m going to have to get up and call that complete motherfuckin bullshit.
CT: 3---E Oh d3---Er.
CT: 3---E Y00 do not actually know what is about to happen.
CT: 3---E Y00 were right.
CT: 3---E My reign over this world is about to end.
CT: 3---E Along with the world itself.
CT: 3---E Fortunately, however, i am not.
TC: you are so motherfuckin full of shit it’s motherfuckin miraculous.
TC: there ain’t no motherfuckin way you’re going to end up surviving end times.
CT: 3---E Perhaps y00 sh001d ask megido.
CT: 3---E She is more than aware of this.
CT: 3---E I w001d, however, hurry up.
CT: 3---E She may not last t00 long.
TC: oh that’s motherfuckin rich.
TC: you think captor can motherfuckin handle my righteous sister?
TC: here’s something i think you need to start realising.
CT: 3---E It is amusing how much that applies to y00 as well.
CT: 3---E Captor may not quite be on our level in combat capabilities, but megido’s skills are hardly impressive.
TC: yeah, that’s obviously why you haven’t been able to lay a motherfuckin hand on her.
TC: no way captor’s going to go in there and find her in one motherfuckin night.
TC: pretty sure you just all up and signed his death warrant, though.
TC: but i ain’t motherfuckin complaining.
CT: 3---E It app3---Ers y00 think this bothers me.
CT: 3---E How quaint.
TC: yeah, one of these motherfuckin days all of them reserves are going to be running out.
TC: and if what you’re saying is actually motherfuckin true, that day is right motherfuckin now.
CT: 3---E Y00 m3---En as yours already have.
CT: 3---E so your tr00p management skills are actually terrible.
CT: 3---E As opposed to simply callous.
CT: 3---E In absolute terms, perhaps, but %ually y00 have barely managed to l3---Eve a dent in my painting.
CT: 3---E Whereas i have utterly decimated y00.
CT: 3---E Perhaps.
CT: 3---E But not by y00.
CT: 3---E If this conversation is going to degenerate into name calling we may as well call it a night.
CT: 3---E Your vain attempts at wit are far more amusing when they are not pilfered with petty insults.
CT: 3---E Do let me know if y00 have recovered from your temper tantrum in time to experience the apocalypse.
CT: 3---E G00dnight.

-- controllingTyrant [CT] ceased trolling technicallyColorblind [TC] --

Equius: Smile

You believe you certainly got the better of him in this encounter, but that is no reason to give such a pointless show of emotion.

Well, maybe just a little.

Still, he was right. The tide appears to be turning in his favor, even if he does not know it yet. This means you need to get involved a little bit more directly in regards to the subordinates you intend to take with you.

And you think Vriska has waited long enough to beg.

Sollux: Prepare

You’ve been prepared for this for a long time. You could have left within seconds after the Emperor told you to. Finally a chance to prove yourself, to test yourself against the rebels and do your part in restoring order on Alternia.

You could have left within seconds, but your curiosity got the better of you.

Sollux: Enquire

-- targetAcquired [TA] began trolling arachnophileChipper [AC] --

TA: *the awe5ome dragon roar5 before touching down next to hi5 companion*
AC: ::::3 *the cute little kitten looks up from cleaning her paws after her delicious meal*
AC: ::::3 *she grins at the dragon and asks him how hes doing*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon grin5 back proudly and reveal5 that he ha5 been given a new a55ignment*
AC: ::::o *the cute little kitten gasps in surprise*
AC: ::::o *”Is it the one you were waiting for?” she asks*
TA: *he nod5,, di5playing the order5 he ha5 been given*
TA: *he i5 to 5cour the fore5t and hunt down the 5ingle rat remaining*
TA: *it will be awe5ome*
AC: ::::3 *”That sounds very exciting,” she says “I am very happy for you.”*
AC: ::::( *”But,” she says looking a little bit sad “does that mean we won’t have any adventures together anymore?”*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon huff5,, a bit of 5moke coming out of his no5e in her direction*
TA: *”it’’5 not like you haven’’t been having your own adventure5,,” he 5ay5*
AC: >::::( *the cute little kitten narrows her eight eyes suspiciously*
AC: >::::( *and also because of the smoke*
AC: >::::( *”How do you know about that?” she asks*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon rai5e5 an eyebrow and point5 up,, 5aying:: “the big man told me,..,”*
AC: ::::? (do dragons even have eyebrows?)
TA: ((of cour5e they do,..,))
AC: ::::o *”He told you about that?” she asks*
TA: *”he did,,” he nod5*
AC: ::::o *”That’s amazing!” she says*
AC: ::::( *”He never tells me anything.”*
TA: *”well,,” the dragon 5ay5,, grinning 5lyly,, “he didn’’t exactly tell me everything,..,”*
AC: ::::3 *the kitten jumps up “I can tell you everything!” she says happily*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon make5 him5elf comfortable in preparation for the 5tory*
AC: ::::3 *the cute little kitten begins her story by talking about how she was having a lot of fun playing with one of her favorite toys*
AC: ::::3 *then suddenly a huge crab monster showed up*
AC: ::::3 *and it wasnt the cute kind of huge crab monster either*
AC: ::::3 *it started making a huge fuzz because it was apparently really mad for some reason*
AC: ::::3 *it almost broke the cute little kittens toy but she managed to chase it away heroically*
AC: ::::3 *everyone was very proud of her for doing that and she was then allowed to play with her toy more often*
AC: ::::3 *the end*
TA: *that 5ounded awe5ome,, but it made the dragon wonder if hi5 friend had been hurt*
AC: ::::o *of course not!*
AC: ::::3 *no crab monster could ever hurt the cute little kitten no matter how huge*
TA: *and the toy?*
AC: ::::3 *the toy is being repaired by the cute little kittens sister and she will be ready to play with it again soon*
AC: ::::? *although the kitten doesnt really understand why the dragon would be worried about that*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon wa5 ju5t curio5 and didn’’t want his friend to be 5tuck without anything to play with*
AC: ::::3 *the cute little kitten is very happy the dragon is so concerned for her*
AC: ::::3 *but he doesnt have to worry because she has plenty of toys to play with*
TA: *the awe5ome dragon i5 glad to hear that*
TA: *he then excu5e5 him5elf*
TA: *after all,, he ha5 a mi55ion to get to*
AC: ::::3 *the kitten nods in understanding and then waves him off*
TA: ((bye nepeta,..,))
AC: ::::3 (bye sollux)
AC: ::::3 (good luck)

-- targetAcquired [TA] ceased trolling arachnophileChipper [AC] --

Sollux: Think

There is something seriously wrong with that girl. You understand not giving 5 shits about lowbloods is kind of the point of being a highblood, but the way she goes about it really rubs you the wrong way.

Not that you’re about to tell her that, mind you. Her vouching for you is just about the only thing that really keeps you in the game, and you’re not about to ruin that over some moral matter. You’d also really like not getting killed.

Although with the way the wind is blowing right now, you might actually become one of the Emperor’s finest, and wouldn’t that be convenient?

You will have to complete this mission first, mind you. You can’t imagine it will be very difficult at all. You’ve practically got Megido in your talons already.

Sollux: Head Out

You exit your illustrious treehive and venture off into the woods to start your search. your mental map of the forest guiding you while you review everything you know about your target.

This is going to be a blast.