At first it was... I kept seeing Robert’s face after he died. Couldn’t get it out of my head. It was why I asked for the transfer, I felt I needed a fresh start, and if that fresh start helped me understand, well, then maybe I’d be able to sleep. But then it was that room, that gateway between two universes. It was incredible, it was wonderful and terrifying at once. I stayed up thinking about it, about what it meant. And it was the cases we work here. Some of them stay with me longer than others. Stronger than others.
The other day I saw you laugh with Astrid in Walter’s lab. You don’t laugh like that much, do you realize that? Not that way, not so freely. And then you looked over and caught me watching, and your laughter trailed off as you smiled at me. That night, I realized that if Robert hadn’t died, we would never have met. I’d never have had the chance to see you smile at me like that.
God help me, Liv, I knew at that moment that I wouldn’t change a thing. Not even to bring him back. And that’s the latest on the list of things that make it hard for me to sleep.